Dating naked

Welcome to the Dating Stories podcast. I'm Bea and I'm Jo. Together we have a lot of dating experience. And we're not alone. So it's time to start sharing. In each episode, we invite real daters to tell us about their creepy, juicy, embarrassing... or simply epic true dating stories. Whether you're single, ready to mingle, or it's complicated, Tune into the Dating Stories podcast. You can find us on Apple, Spotify, SoundCloud or wherever you cast your pots. Enjoy listening.

Welcome everyone to our second episode. I've got of course Jo sitting next to me. Hi Bee. Hey Jo. How are you today? I'm fine. Excellent. And we've got Charlotte from Lille. Hello ladies! Welcome Charlotte! On s'est posé la question de faire ce podcast en français, Jo? Yeah, we figured the French accent is awesome, but half of our listeners wouldn't get a clue what we're talking about, so we'll do it in English anyway. I think that's a good idea. What do you think about it, Charlotte?

i think it's a great idea i'm i'm comfortable either way so and i'm sure you know the fresh accent will be heard enough so i think we're good

Excellent. So Charlotte, you and I met a few times, but I actually met you through Joe. So maybe the two of you can explain to everyone how you met. That's a good idea. Well, how did we meet? I think I have to go back to the time when I came back from Singapore. I was in Singapore for a couple of years. And when I came back to Brussels, yeah, it was the beginning. And so I was looking for some friends. A friend of mine, he told me that...

He actually had a sister living in Brussels. So he said, why don't you reach out to my sister and then you can meet up. And I thought it was a really great idea. So when I was still... in singapore i started sending her text messages to say like hey i'm coming over to brussels soon so maybe nice to meet up and she said she was immediately very positive about it so she said let's go for drinks after work and i thought like great cool start

when I was on my way to the place where we were going to meet for wine. She texted me to say I have a doctor's appointment and he's running late. So but don't worry, because I was actually also going to meet up with another friend of mine. And that, of course, was our little Charlotte from Lille. I remember.

very well, actually. I got that text as well. I felt like, how am I going to find Jo in just this huge place? I have no photo. I don't know what she looks like. You know, Place de Luxembourg on a first day evening is very packed. It was a bit of a challenge.

But we eventually met up. And I think since that day, we never really, you know. No, absolutely. We never separated. And I also knew that first evening, I think we had a bottle. We ordered a bottle of wine and I thought this girl is going to be so my friend. for some reason there's always drinks involved that is true so charlotte you told us you have quite a different take on dating

So you're not the typical traditional, let's go for a drink, meet in a bar, chat to each other and then see where it leads. But really... Yeah, quite a different idea about how to go on a first date. Maybe you can tell us a bit more about that. Sure. I have to say I've been sort of dating on and off for the past 10 years. But basically, I started, you know, dating like... everybody does so we meet for a drink we meet for coffee and then we sit next to each other or facing each other and

it feels like an interview you know you ask the same questions because it's very standard and maybe it's reassuring because you have sort of a storytelling that you you know you go through but after so much chatting that looks the same. I really got bored out of it and I presume that guys really got bored as well.

I have nothing against modern ways of communicating and connecting to each other. I think online dating has been a bit of a revolution because we get to meet people that we would never meet in real life. But basically, you know, after just too many... of going to a date and sort of knowing already what will, you know, come out of it and no really big surprises. I feel like, you know, this is...

This is not me. I don't think I'm really myself in that sort of context because I say pretty much what people expect me to say. What I do for a job and where I'm from and how many sisters and brothers. It's just too boring. It doesn't tell someone who I am and what I like. Maybe it loses a bit of the authenticity of a normal conversation you would have.

And that's interesting what you say, Joe, because I mean, clearly, I think with an authenticity is is a it's something I've been looking for because I think I would define myself as an authentic person and always. to just be able to to just be very natural and be honest with myself with the person in front of me whether it's work or or meeting with friends or in a dating context I agree. That's how I know you. So you actually found a very good way to meet the...

authentic guy that you're meeting on a first date. Can you tell us a bit more about that? Yeah, now we are very curious to find out what is this specific way that Charlotte dates.

Well, in a specific way, I'm not so sure, but clearly I wanted to do something different. For a long time, I was really into gamification and I felt like it's always more fun and it's always more interesting to get to know someone. an activity and through action instead of instead of talking and chatting for hours with like standard question so i started to just challenge myself a bit more and challenge the other person as well

who obviously was willing to be challenged as well because, you know, it takes two to tango. So when I sort of like summarized this really boring way to date, I came up with my own rules. I wanted to, you know, to take the idea of like... selection is a game to a different level so i wanted to play and playing as a lot of different you know

you know way to just be experienced so it could be an escape game so be locked up with a guy that you don't know for an hour is interesting obviously and then you decide if you really want to get out within like five minutes or an hour sometimes an hour it's really long but it's always interesting

that sort of thing. Blindest music as well was really fun. So it's a way of like challenging ourselves to see if we have the same culture, if we click on the musical level. And I even went to a Red Room.

I wanted to take one step further a rage room that sounds interesting what is it never heard of it have you Jo I don't know rage room but it sounds like you got mad or something okay so a red room is basically a place when you can you know take all your rage and your anxiety and your stress out by smashing breaking glasses or a laptop or a table or anything.

It is really cool. It's sort of weird, obviously, to go there on a first date. And just out of precision, every time I talk about games and stuff, I'm always talking about the first date. i was just going to ask you indeed because so this is you do this kind of and let's call it an experience dating on your first date so it's with someone you just know over text you know from online but where you're meeting for the first time

that's right and the idea behind this is always to see and to allow someone to be very authentic because when what i noticed so far is every time you bring someone into action or doing something either it's manual or thinking or or being a bit creative people actually don't feel like they have to put on a show anymore because you have to follow your instinct you have to be fast you have to answer a question you have to find a way to escape the room or you just go with whatever you have to do so

i always feel like this is an interesting way to see uh what people you know have in mind and don't have you know it's not about their hidden agenda it's not about prepared answer that has been retold how many times you know on the same day so it's like giving an opportunity to someone to show you know who they really are how they think and what they like that's indeed true i can imagine because i mean if you're in an inner rage room uh as you

just said smashing laptops or whatever i can imagine you don't think anymore about what your next answer will be or how to behave you're just in a very natural mode yeah there's no room for pretending anymore And as a matter of fact, in a red room, you have to wear like a whole suit. You have to protect yourself. You have a helmet as well. So believe me, even if you wear makeup, nobody can see it. It doesn't matter at all yet.

And so in the case of the Rage Room, how did the guy handle it? I think he was at first very surprised because obviously we texted each other and I suggested that I came up with this idea and he was quick.

kids so obviously you know the idea of like smashing things and then going for a drink after or going for a walk was appealing but you know you never know how people react until they are in the middle of this activity or this experience so it's me putting myself out there it's the other person as well putting out out there but um no it was interesting and what i you know what i remember from that date it was it was really intense meaning like for 15 minutes all you do is just like smash

and you sort of like look at how people you know smash face that's the only thing you can see but is it's interesting to just see if people are just having fun and if they can let go because that's the whole idea of the retro yes and maybe also the whole of idea of what you look when you when you meet a guy what you what you try to find in a guy i mean i know you and i also know that If the guy is not comfortable with the rage room or with the full experience and so on.

Yeah, maybe then he's also not the guy for you. So that's I think also the handy part about your experience dating. You'll immediately know if the guy is right for you. Yeah, if he's up for things.

But it sounds like a really interesting concept, maybe something I would do after a bad day at work. But we've known you for a while, Charlotte, and we sort of have a feeling this is not the boldest first date you've been on. Are we right? Something tells me that you already know exactly where you want to take me on that dating experience path. Well, you've told us a little bit about it and we've actually revealed a little bit to the listeners in our last episode when we announced it.

this one but we're keen to hear from you okay so clearly after all these you know different experiences of breaking glasses with strangers and going on escape rooms and being locked up with people i you know never met before i came up with something different that somehow i didn't think i would ever you know consider

at some point i was chatting with this man who was you know really nice we had a good vibe and i remember it was back in september and i don't know if you remember guys but that day in september was the last hardest of the summer it was a tuesday and it was 38 degrees yes it was the never-ending indian summer in belgium that's right that's right So yes, we were planning on meeting together. Initially, we planned to go on a picnic.

I agree, it's less original than an escaping gum or anything connected to a crazy activity. Sounds a bit boring. It sounds boring, I agree. After everything you've told us. I know. so obviously you know the the picnic was was You know, I think it was relevant considering the weather that was supposed to be absolutely beautiful. But I had something in the back of my mind that told me that it was not bold enough. And I thought, you know what, I'm sure I can do better.

during the conversation we were talking about you know how you know what is the connection we have with our body and soul and mind and at some point we got into this conversation of like probably you know the picnic is not good enough maybe we should go to a naked spot wow i dropped this like a bomb pretty much and weirdly i was i was hearing myself saying this and feel like uh did i just propose that guy to go i was i was sort of like

confused but also very assertive. And one thing I have to precise as well for our beautiful listeners is in Belgium, the best spas are the spas where you go naked. And you have to go naked, right? You can't say, I'm going to the spa and wear my robe. day you actually have to be naked if you go to the real deal and I have one I adore and I take my friends all the time when they come to visit

There you go. It's very family orientated. So it's really a safe zone where you can really relax and just resource yourself. And I thought with this guy. that would be interesting to see you know if behind our nudity we are willing both of us to really show who we are and talk very frankly and be honest and authentic

So what was his reaction when you came with this idea? Well, I don't know if you know a lot of men that really would say, oh, I think it's a terrible idea to go to a naked car. True, true. But I felt comfortable. And weren't you anxious about it? Because I can understand indeed that you just popped a question and then asked yourself immediately, oh, was it me asking that question? But then once it was time to go to the wellness spa...

How did you feel about it? How did you feel at that moment? Well, when I chatted with him the day before, and we talked about this and said, like, you know, are you okay with... getting on with nudity on a first encounter so we did talk about it we laughed about it and then we just both felt at ease and i feel like you know see you that's great see you tomorrow And at that time, I felt like, okay, I'm ready to go. It's wrongly worded, but I was excited about going to an exit spa.

and then so we met around like like 7 pm and we it was very weird because we say hello and we got into this uh lock room and the very first awkward moment was to actually to get naked together in the same room because as you know if you go to a naked spa in the Flemish part of Belgium it's mixed so you have girls and guys

stripping off their clothes next to each other and saying hi and chatting. When it's a total stranger and you don't have to engage in a conversation, it's fine. But when you are, you know... when it's a stranger but you have to engage in conversation exactly so you know you meet your date and five minutes later you're sort of like

Let's get naked! Let's get naked and you know I scoop off on your hand and I will scoop off of mine and and okay let's go! So yeah so we started to just you know move to the outdoor swimming area. which because, you know, it was really lovely and really hot. And we just like swimming and chatting next to each other. It's a very simple activity, but knowing that underneath you are naked and he's naked, obviously everything goes to a different dimension.

It doesn't mean that you think about him naked all the time, but you always have that at the back of your mind. It is definitely a strange experience. I don't think I've done anything so bold in terms of dating so far. Were you ever afraid that something could go wrong or that something could get, yeah, a bit awkward? No, I just really felt comfortable because I've known this place for many years and I've been there with friends.

So no, I felt really comfortable because it's a safe place. It's a really safe place. There are rules that everyone respects carefully. If you do otherwise, you will be kicked out. And this place is such a paradise. that you would really be silly to try doing something foolish to take the risk to be kicked out forever. So if you think back on the experience, would you do it again? I would do it again.

but uh i think i would advise only to people that first of all are very comfortable with themselves and that is a crucial part yeah definitely because putting yourself in a context like this you have Nothing to hide from. But your hair looks like a mess. If you wear makeup within like five minutes of swimming, you just look like this guy in the Addams family.

but you just don't look sexy. So you have to be comfortable with yourself. I think I was confident enough that what I can bring to someone is more valuable. than having the hair on and makeup on and everything. But as a first date, I found that very, very interesting. Yeah, and I think it's true. It is actually very courageous from you because in the end, you're showing yourself.

as you really are right so there's no disguise as you were saying it's not the time to look beautiful or whatever you're just basically naked and that's just showing who you are all the way so i think that's yeah that's a courageous move of you that you made and one thing i'm going to add joe that i noticed from that date because you're already naked and you don't you can't really hide then you know all the barriers just fall down

So I remember that the content of our conversation was actually very, very interesting and meaningful. It was just very simple. It was just like a very... normal but very honest and very authentic conversation very very interesting and that's what you were exactly looking for but also maybe a question is because we said how did you feel about it after the event and and would you do it again but

It's also about him, right? Were you sure that he was going to be okay with everything? And maybe sorry for the straightforward question, but... I would be maybe a little bit scared. Like, what is this guy going to think about me if I'm like on my first date going naked with him? Did you consider that part? Actually, I didn't. It's very strange.

I think because I've been looking for ideas to challenge myself in a way, to be honest, it's kind of a game for me as well. You know, it's like trying to always find another idea. I have to be creative.

and bring new ideas to not bore myself and find the excitement as well of going on a different experience with someone. So I alternate and I try to just... just your approach dating you know in a very different way just allowing people to be themselves and just get out of their comfort zone and that is crucial as well you know when you get people out of their comfort zone

you give them an opportunity to show, let's say, how ballsy and how daring they are. And some people, you know, hide themselves behind answers. clearly i mean to go back to your question about like was he ready to go through this and was he willing to yes i would say quite definitely that he was he was happy with uh it was the day that we studied at seven and we stayed until the end so

I think we left at midnight. Wow. It's a really long time to talk to someone. And at some point, honestly, I don't remember that there was a lot of time where we were not chatting. So clearly we covered so many topics. and we laughed about so many things. It was really a way to bond with each other and get to know each other on a deeper level.

It was really a lot of deep conversation and I trusted the personality of this guy. And honestly, the feeling I had before was confirmed at the end of that date. Well, it sounds like the date went really well, actually.

And I think our listeners will also understand who you are as a person, because that's also how I know you. You're always looking for challenges and to be surrounded with people that take you out of your concert zone and that you would also... like to take out of their comfort zone so to that extent it's a perfect match and if a guy doesn't want to go along in this experience dating I guess that to be very honest it's not a guy for you so that makes sense yeah

Right, Joe. And I think also it was very him. So it was very me. It was very him. And another thing I've noticed that was actually quite nice to see is that... at no point he was checking over women. But to be honest, it was kind of interesting that really the whole focus was on us. was on discovering each other and getting to know each other.

that's that's that's really interesting to hear like how such a date can give you loads of information i'm pretty convinced now but let me check with b b what are your key takeaways I'm just, before we go into the key takeaways, wondering, I think it's a question all the listeners will be wondering, did you see each other again after your first date? Ha, that's the question, obviously, people want to know.

yes we did see each other again and right after at the moment that we said goodbye it was already you know him suggesting i want to see you again when is a good time for you so he really showed that he was interested in seeing each other again Nice. It was a really nice first date. I think out of many years of dating, it was one that was really meaningful, very deep. Yeah, it's a really good memory. Yeah, it's nice. Absolutely.

So yeah, listening to you, I've been wondering, would I do it? And I think an experience date is great because my key takeaway would really be by, as you mentioned as well, Charlotte, by doing things together, you bond.

And I think in every relationship, whether it's a friendship, a date... by creating memories together you start building more of a connection you start getting inside jokes that you share that no one else understands you can look back on previous experiences and i can actually remember one time in sydney i was chatting to a guy for a while a few days and he said it was sunday morning and i just woken up had my coffee

And he texted saying, what are you up to today? And I said, oh, I'm about to go for a run. And he went, where are you running? And shall we go for a run together? And I was like, because we hadn't met yet. And my first reaction was, no, like. just woken up i look tired i i don't know if i'm gonna be running at this speed but i said yes spontaneously and it was actually a really nice date we went for a 5k run and then we shared a coffee together

And it was that letting go of inhibitions and just showing up with my joggers and my hair not done, no makeup. And I think that, yeah, that really creates a connection. So would you do it, Jo? Going on a naked date? That's a good question. And I've also been thinking about it when listening to Charlotte, but actually I was also once... asked to go on a naked date also to join someone i was texting with online on an online dating app to go to spa

But that was really a different story. It was a guy that I sent a few texts to and that's it. And then he immediately asked like, hey, what do you think about going to a spa? So of course I didn't accept that one and I even disconnected from him. As of that point, but...

Yeah, listening to your story, what I really like about it is the overall experience dating. And I think it's a brand where you should trademark it because I think it makes a lot of sense. So that part I really like. The only thing I would add to it.

that is that I think it's important that you're up for it and that you feel comfortable as you were stating but I think also the other guy you have to take into consideration the personality and what the other guy wants because the guy can be really great but just not up for this kind of or a specific experience or a specific activity so i think that's the only thing that

I would really consider before going on experience dating in general then, and I'm not only talking about spa. But yeah, if you take that into consideration, yeah, definitely I hear a lot of positive things about this way of dating. So I would say... yes to experience dating and maybe to uh dating naked okay well

Next to our key takeaways, we also every week have a question from the listener. So I hope you're up for it too, Charlotte, because Bea has a good one for you. Yes. So one of the reoccurring questions we got was... Since you decide on different activities and you told us you try and get a new experience every time, not doing the same thing twice. How do you decide based on the type of guy which activity you pick? That's a good question.

I think it's more on the... based on what we talk about or what we chat about i think if someone is really into music i would you know more likely offer him to join a music blind test again it's a matter of like putting people out of their comfort zone, but also give them an opportunity to show me what they've got. I would probably say that the rich room, it was more like I really wanted to go to rich room.

And I popped a question to that guy I was chatting with and he was up for it. So when you mentioned earlier, Joe, that's always important to... ask if the other person is up for it i i never trap anyone so i never actually said to someone like meet me there and we'll do something because if i was in that situation i would just say you know what no way i'm not going

yeah i want to know what i step into we need always to get the consent the basis is always to ensure that everyone is at ease or curious enough to try something new That's probably what I would say to summarize the whole experience dating I've been practicing for a few months and a few years now.

well nice summary indeed maybe one final question for you Charlotte do you have any interesting dates coming up yes well I As a matter of fact, I've been dating this guy yesterday evening. Well, obviously it's new. It was very weird, but it was good weird.

i haven't had a good way of date in a while so i'm not sure how to describe it because i'm still trying to figure it out myself yeah it's always interesting when you feel the electricity in the air but you can't really put a finger on it you don't really know what it means so date number two should be interesting I can feel another podcast coming on in a few weeks. And you really make me curious, Charlotte. You can't say anything more about what made the date weird.

No, I think we'll just keep it for maybe another podcast. That's a very good idea. I love it. Okay, this kind of wraps up our episode. what can we say for the upcoming episode it will be there of course again in two weeks and it will be a surprise so If you want to know more about what the episode will be about, then check out our Facebook page or our Instagram page and you'll discover what it is. Just following us at The Dating Stories and you'll find out everything you need to know.

Thank you very much, Charlotte. It was a pleasure to have you. And it was a pleasure as well to share my stories with you. And let's hope that some people get either inspired or just... have an idea about how to make their dating experience a bit more fun. I'm sure you inspired a lot of ladies. Well, you inspired me already. Thank you very much.

If you're listening and you are inspired by Charlotte's story and you go on Experience Date for the first time, just send us a little story on our DM on Instagram or tag us. Thank you. Bye-bye, everyone. See you in two weeks. Bisous, bisous. Bye. If you liked this episode, follow us on Instagram and Facebook at The Dating Stories. And don't forget to subscribe to this podcast and share this episode with your friends. We'll see you in two weeks.