Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of the Weekly Zeitgeist. These are some of our favorite segments from this week, all edited together into one NonStop infotainment laugh stravaganza. Yeah, so, without further ado, here is the Weekly Zeitgeist. Well, Miles, yes, it being the you know substitute teacher Day. Yeah, it's you know teachers out because teacher doesn't know what the fuck to talk about. No, no big news that we can speak of that is going to be relevant. In
twenty four hours. We are rolling in the video card and we've got I think rated best substitute teacher that I could fucking imagine in my imagination, number one.
With a bullet.
It's a hilarious stand up comedian, actor, musician. You can listen to his podcast called Brew Got Me Like any Where. His book, The Advice King Anthology is available now anywhere fine books are sold.
Go get it for God's sake. Please.
The poetry window is open because it's Chris motherfucking Craft.
What's up? What's up? I got an a K. I wrote it. I wrote it myself. It works every time.
Hell yeah, Bud late.
Ge my god, Oh my God, is a terrible effect on Jack O'Brien just straight up doing what's that.
Wall?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the election.
That that's it. That's it. It's like finally just okay, so oh yeah, here's my aka Chris.
Crofting on Parayn down down down, Chris Crofting on Prey Dunn down down down there we go wow, wow, wow to crop.
Croft and Fever.
Oh America.
One thing that we can guarantee that won't be different about America tomorrow that America is still gonna have crofton Fever.
Hell yeah.
And so that's why that's true. No matter what appens, they can't take away my seven point four on Pitchfork.
Hell no, they can't. That's not all a batty can't.
One, she said one pitch Fork article where they went back and like rejiggered reviews and were like, actually, this album that we gave a nine to, we're gonna move it down to like a seven.
Yeah.
It turns out clap your hands, say yeah, it wasn't actually a ten.
They did It's a Big Boy from Outcast, which I think was actually probably they the his first album was very good, but they were like, this is one of the best rap albums of all time.
That's one way to that's one way to stop thinking about the election. Revise your reviews of Heavy D and The Boy or whatever. Yeah, we shouldn't and the Boys actually deserved a five point nine, not.
A exact four exactly.
You're trying to Are you trying to avoid thinking about the election?
Who me?
Oh my god? What a what a horrible, horrible time to be alive. So yeah, today is like a bad day, you know, I mean, except like some people aren't even thinking about it. I think about that. There's a lot of people who do not even care about this.
Great I love that it was a Yeah, we've been following these seven I think it was seven undecided voters on the front page of the New York Times of the New York Times.
Every time something big happened to the election, they check in with these seven random people who are like I don't really know or and one of them was like always leaning Trump, and then they just they ended up voting for Harris.
And their explanation was.
Like, yeah, just like looked into it and like he was like committing fraud during the last like he was asking people to like steal votes for him, So like they kind of won me over at the finish line with that feature, because it was like, oh, yeah, like most people don't give a shit about this stuff at all. They're like, I pay attention to the election like once every four years for like you have for this.
Who's calling you, Chris?
Oh, my friend Parker?
Pick it up?
Pick it up?
Answer the phone anytime anybody calls us during this episode?
All right, we are are we picking up scam? Likely this too? Eh? I don't know. I feel like, really we just totally lost commitment on that one.
What is something from your search history that's revealing about who you are?
Yeah, beautiful search history stuff. It's it's kind of a lot of it's kind of boring. Uh, I did just this is what I'm a little of a pretentious movie guy that I would looked up an experimental film called Dream of the Wild Horses recently that looks to be quite amazing. Please don't judge me for my weird, pretentious academia. No, that's wait, it's goods to supposed to beautiful.
I haven't watched it yet.
I think it's on YouTube, but yeah, it's well, this is the thematically appropriate every time I'm here I talk about skateboarding. It's influential in this like cult classic masterpiece skateboard video called Spirit Quest. Shout out Colin Reid. Check out Spirit Quest if you get a chance. It's fucking it's a mind blower, baby, dream of the wild Horses.
Does that mean that it's a dream about wild horses or it's a it shows you what wild horses are dreaming about.
I think, like all deep, profound art, it's up to the viewers interpretation.
To see what they're dreaming. Wait, is that is that skate video for like a specific team.
No, it's an independent video out of New York, probably like ten years ago.
Those guys.
An independent filmmaker, so he'll have different people from different teams and stuff.
Okay, cool, different than yeah, the traditional way we're used to sing skate VideA. Yeah, yeah, a collection of like yeah montage, right, yep, that.
Sounds pretty cool.
Man election stuff.
Yeah, like my brain.
Coming around to that.
I like that.
We also like to ask our guests what something you think is underrated?
I well, honestly, in my heart, the first thing I wanted to say was drag. Drag is art, which I don't know that it's underrated. Really because it's it's in pop culture in such a significant way, and yet I still think there's not enough respect drag is an art. So that's that's honestly my answer.
Yeah, everyone should watch Paris is Burning.
You know, everyone should watch Paris is Burning. Also brought so many videos of like my favorite drag queen moments to share as stuff that I will constantly reference in conversation and be like, well, no one knows what I'm talking about, so I have to go show you this to get the context.
But that's what most of your tabs are that are open. Yeah, references you, Yeah, please look at Exhibit A. You'll understand the reference I just made in conversation.
I think a runner up though for underrated is mini tongs many tongues. Like in many kitchen you don't need the long tongue, sometimes you just need the mini.
What do you use the mini tongs for? I'm curious.
Thank you for asking. If you have just a like potato a hash brown right that you're cooking in your oven and you want to forget.
The size of a McDonald's, you.
Just get the mini tongue, because then you're not dealing with the whole spatula in the oven. That's wild and loose, you know. But yeah, and then you can use it if you have a piece of toast that it's like lodged in your toaster. Don't put your knife in there.
Please, don't put in yeah yeah, don't put metal in there. Well, many tongue little like plastic rubber, yeah, wait, you don't have you don't have any many.
I'm trying to think of, like how many we're going here, Like, is it's just the one that its like a bent piece of plastic or does it happen?
So there's your I feel like your typical tongues are maybe like eleven inches twelve inches long. Yeah, we're talking like.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think yeah, I think I know what you're talking about.
And they could they could be just a piece. Look in his eyes, he knows.
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
Many many tongues, yep, he just for three whiskeys like this.
With my thumb. Yeah no, not with your thumb. That's how that's how.
Yeah, we have like multiple sides of tongues, and I have found myself using the ones for the outdoor grill or like super long, like to avoid having your eyelashes and eyebrows and stuff smart, like around the kitchen because you know, I don't know where you're like your kid. Yeah, just stands. I'm going to need to move this piece of furniture to use this, but we're gonna I love it.
It's like your own grabber.
Yeah, I'll just everything with that.
If you had to like create a like thing that permanently became a tool that you could use on your body, like, what tool would you.
Use, like you know, like incorporated as part of your physiology.
Yeah, like you know, a lighter for army lighter is a great.
Answer, really good answer, because you could.
That's like you can you you can help out and you can be like, yo, I can burn this mother down.
Don't if I brush up against a piece of furniture, we're.
Why Yeah, yeah, don't fuck with me. That's what I was like.
A knife is too crazy because depending on where the appendage is, that's like you're hurting people, you're hipping through stuff. I would say, I mean a tong would be great because that's an extra arm, that's an extra appendage.
That true. Yeah, and resistant too. I think we all learned.
Scissor hands are pretty inconvenient, right, although you don't you know.
If you get really good with those, that could be.
Yeah, unless you want to be a fierce hairstylist. Great, you would blow up on TikTok, you know that.
Yeah, absolutely, any of the ship he did, like whether it's like hedge trimming or fucking hairstyles, if you pulled up with your fucking scissor fingers like this is And this is the person I get my political takes from. And I'm glad I'm on the right side of history. What Sophia is something you think is overrated?
Underrated or overrated?
Over overrated? You're underrated?
Was I know?
I know?
Being nice?
I have gone this.
This guy on the show just like trying to explain to his girlfriend he has got like he's been cheating on her and he has gone area and he just says it like that.
He also can't stop saying to everybody and to her.
It's the most Then they take a beach trip.
I don't think gon aria are gonna spread on the beach.
Do you understand there's a collection of no leaking.
I think the pills is no leaking.
I think the pills is no leaking.
Yeah, because he's like being doing the patronizing thing to his Filipino girlfriend where he's speaking like, oh, he's a white guy, and he's like, I think we take the beat. Gona no spread on the beach. I take the pills. There's no leaking.
God, yeah, I think the pills is no leaking, no more sludge.
Okay, did you find it?
The fuck?
Just do a right?
Overrated? Is you know, not telling people that you have gone? I repeated the context. If you watch ninety you will know what this is about.
And then we have to leave.
The whole break and oh my god, uh what the fuck?
Yeah does that work?
Wait till you see him, dude, Wait till you see him.
Yeah, it's it's bad.
It's going to make it worse.
Yeah, but sorry, that was You're overrated? Was not casually bringing up or bringing up casually casually.
Bringing up then and then trying to gesslate your fiance into having sex with you on the beach.
Yeah, I mean at this point, luckily, I mean again, we're bringing a bit of fortuny d fiance into the show here. But there's a guy who has he's like Polly, but he wants to be like he has this trans girlfriend in the Philippines, and he has been thing like he doesn't want to have like an open relationship and acting like he wants to be monogamous. But the whole time they've been away, he's been having sex with whoever. And then when he got to the Philippines, Yeah, yeah, put in his word, I.
Don't think an area are gonna spread on the beach.
That was him doing the offensive thing that American people do when we speak to someone who's English is the second language, where they start chopping up the sentences like this.
Will make it easier, I'll speak incorrect English.
Yeah, that's exactly how Yeah, there's no leaking though, so that's cool. Also, I think I think it's really good to know that in polyamory, both people.
Know yeah, is not you doing it and your partner being like, I'm so glad I'm.
Monogamous, very open a thing.
Sludge, Yeah, I said all the time. All he does is talk about and then he's like, hey, when I when you introduced me to your family, you're not going to tell him about the you know, the whole and it's like, dude, what are you doing.
There's also another quote where he goes I hope got Aria doesn't ruin this whole day.
Anyway. He's like, I'm just gonna own it. I'm just going to own it, you know. No, that is kind of his like strategy and easily. Oh wow, he's not what I expected him to look like.
Yeah, I know.
Isn't it so much worse now that you see?
Also his plan he left an apartment that he can't pay for in America, and his secret plan, in addition to being secretly poly right, was also to secretly move in with his girlfriend, who was expecting to move to America.
Yeah, He's like, I could live in the Philippines. It seems way cheaper. Actually, wait, my.
Entire plant plan was hinges on. He's saying, yes, doll but not knowing me at all.
Wait a second, I just got the craziest idea.
He says, he like drops his suitcases pretty much pretty much.
He's liked, ps.
I only have twenty dollars, but let's ball out.
Yeah.
Oh and also, oh okay, don't forget about it that yet. No, it's kind of my way.
I'm worried about that beach trip miles though, what's going to happen?
Why?
But I don't think gon arieare gonna spread on the beach.
No it, Oh my god, you know why because I think the pills is no leaking.
Oh you take the pills, Okay.
Take the pills is no leaking? Yeah, yeah, anyway, guys, Oh, oh my god, I'm trying to think like who he looks like?
So someone who from from four one of the k one said he kind of looks like breck and Meyer, and I said, oh my god, that's so mean to Breckon Meyer. Then the person replied, Reckon.
Briar, Reckon Briar.
Yeah, sorry, Rick, you get it Meyer, Yeah, fix the fix it in post.
Guys.
All right, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back. Oh, we're back. Oh oh, do you know who one? Do we know who one?
Yet?
I am checking Twitter as though that's going to happen.
I'm checking Twitter right now and it sounds like people, Yeah, the polls are still open, Okay, poles still open.
We're not going to know one even, I mean right, we're not gonna know.
Because of what you're talking about that ship.
I think because the last last we all think it's gonna take a week. But I think it's unlikely to take that long. No, No, they change a lot of laws changed. Yeah, so we should know. They should know by the time they listen to this. The five people who aren't giving forward to our episode where we talk about who actually won.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, but this is fun.
Yeah, I think that. I think, like the reason I brought a couple of videos. One is this account. Well it's a guy or somebody or somebody calling themselves Helmer Rienberg, and it's a ton of like I love these videos. They're all about the JFK assassination, and they are like they all have this like public domain spooky music behind them,
and that's the main thing I like. It's like, I know some people like to listen to like you know, women eat pasta or whatever and that's called MSRMR pasta Yeah yeah or whatever, eat like a strawberry chocolate like that guy we had on one time, remember that guy we talked about. We ate all that crazy food, like a sexy, sexy food. So like for me, this is like that, It's like I chill out and I look at this and I realized that this country has been an absolute it's just full of of of it's a
pyramid scheme. And that does tie into me feeling better about Yes, we need to stop going to Starbucks and start running for office, and and that has been the case for a long time. It's just that now we're finding out. And and so I know that if Trump or what's her name, Kamala gets what's her name? No, I mean, I don't even know, like or Jill Stein or whoever, it's gonna be the same baloney. It's gonna be the same blogoney. Basically, Trump's gonna Trump's canna.
It will be a little bit worse.
So it will definitely be.
A little bit more. Yeah, what what sort of up now you gotta say, you gotta reply.
Let me say, And then Smiley.
Faced with this yeah one like the one big eye one that lies like yeah, I think that it was Parker.
Parker's texted me and he says, let's talk more tonight for the election.
That's what he tell Yeah anyway, Yeah, all that to say, Yeah, I don't know that that's the thing. Fuck, we're talking about the election again, but I just no, we're not really talking about feelings around the election. Every I have a feeling America is going to go back to a brunch so fucking hard. It's gonna be just mind many
going yeah, yeah, yeah, that whole thing. How like that's sort of like that was the phrase in twenty twenty, how everyone was so tired of like the pandemic and like being politically engaged and the like you know, black lives Matter things that were happening over the summer, that.
Like, can we just get like back to brunch, you know, like where we don't have to like deal with the ills of our of our current country, right.
Right, Like Kings of Leon's new record that's called can We Please Have Fun? Yeah, a way to read the room? Absolutely fuckheads.
My friend from high school I think is married to that singer. Anyway, shall we do you want to? So this is Helmer Reinberg. Yeah, this is hell Marienberg.
And he's just talking about like the Officer Tippet shooting. And if you guys don't know about the officers office, Officer Tippett was shot allegedly by Lee Harvey Oswald while he was running after the assassination, when he was running toward the theater where he got caught, you know, but Officer Tippitt wasn't supposed to be where he was when
he was shot. He was supposed to be downtown along with every other patrol officer that was in the city, because the assassination had already happened, so he wasn't supposed to be. And they even have like transcripts. This isn't like nineteen ten they had transcripts of the police calls. They even have audio of all the police calls. They were taping all the transmissions, so they have the like
they have the radio. They have the actual announcement where they say, all patrol, every officer in this city, every squad car go to Dealey Plaza.
And wouldn't that be the perfect setup for a did bank robbery. It's like, oh, you thought the JFK assassination was political? Who said, we're not bank.
Robbers who took off your gold bully on?
Huh?
Officer Tippett was in this neighborhood that was nowhere near downtown and they.
Close enough that Lea Harvey Oswald was able to reach there on foot. Right.
Well no, but no, but Lee Harvey Oswald didn't kill Officer Tippet. I mean, the whole assassination is absolute garbage. I mean it.
JFK debates.
Isn't it more isn't it more fun to debate something that's way in the past. Though, I just.
Love it because I know this is Jack's shit, So you're not I know, you have an opinion on every single thing and crossed into this energy. I'm like, I'm just gonna be like here.
M okay leaves that Lee Harvey Oswald shot JFK by himself. They are absolutely insane. That is the most obvious sane, insane, ridiculous.
I don't think they're I don't think it's as insane as some of the other theories. I don't think he acted alone, but I have well done.
He may have done something, but he he also may not have because there were people running out of the building that saw him in the second floor cafeteria holding a Coca Cola like two seconds after the shooting, which implied that he was in the cafeteria while the shooting was happening.
How did Coca Cola leave branding like that on the table? You know, he just did like change to the course of human history and immediately overcome with the need to have a.
Like Co Cola so much that he was able to shoot the president and run four floors.
Yeah, and then kill again. Ain't nothing walks away.
So the hell Marienburg thing is just great. I mean hel Marienburg. Hel Marienburg's great for whoever he is, some guy you know from Sweden, probably from fifteen years ago. Man, he probably got run over by a bus in twenty ten. It doesn't matter. I'm watching his ship from two thousand and seven. Yeah, And anyway, I just love I love these these things because it reminds me that that we're not the first generation to deal with a bunch of nonsense,
except for this time, we are aware of it. And that generation, for some reason, was like, I'm happy enough with my you know, dollar a pound ground chuck, and I don't care whose shot officer tippet.
Yeah, I got ground surloin for a dollar twenty But if.
You think Lee Harvey Oswald shot officer tip.
Wait, so what is this? This is first of all, Chris, this is a ten minute video, so we.
Don't have to watch any of it. I don't have to watch any of it.
I'm just saying, but I do want to hear the music.
I don't know we were really doing. I didn't know we were really doing videos, because last time I had some, I should have gotten more fun. I didn't know what we were doing the show. I didn't know we were doing, like escapism. I would have brought you a video some guy like getting slapped in the face by a paintbrush.
Okay, well let's look at that too. But here's the this is the hell, Marienberg.
This is a little music. I like the music, and I like this conspiracy. It makes me feel I don't know, somehow it soothes me.
Okay, well, let's where the music is that hold music? So that's like dumb, don't then, don't.
I want to find out how I can get an album of this on vinyl.
Okay, let's do. Let's find out. November twenty second, nineteen sixty three, Dallas police officer Jade Tippett was murdered in Oak Cliff about forty five minutes after the assassination of President Kennedy. According to witnesses, Tippet stopped his car at the curb on Tenth Street and spoke with a man. Okay, and there's a're guessing that tip and then they just like scrunched it up. It's like real, tipp It got out out of the car and went to the man.
The man pulled the gun and shot.
But sorry, no you need to more. But but but but Tip was hit four times and died.
And the music that's what I'm talking about. This is the music from Karate Kid Too, when they go.
This is like, this is like a music bed for like a racist depiction of like a massage parlor.
I picture hell Marienberg playing the recorder.
Okay, so this is Oh, he's a looker.
JD Tipp It is hot. Jad Tipper was hot, dude.
Yeah, No, one's like, no one talks about that kind of looks like r f K. So then Lee Oswald does kind of look like urging. Damn.
That's interesting. And Chris, do you want to read the I think maybe.
I mean, it doesn't really make any difference. I'm sure everybody is like confused as to what this is or why I'm talking about it, But somehow it is heartening
to me. You know that we should have stormed the capitol in nineteen sixty three, that's when this happened, when a complete bunch of bullshit was dropped on the American public, When one of the most popular presidents in history, who wanted some progress on civil rights and some progress on taking corruption out of unions and getting rid of the mafia and stuff. I mean whether or not those things were even like good ideas they were, there was some.
There was a huge amount of idealism. I'm just saying that's the moment in this country when people became cynical without realizing it, and they are just too happy to really let it sink in. And now we're dealing with.
Everybody was happy with the state of America in nineteen sixty three. I will no, every miles everybody. Okay, now I'm really on a podcast. Everybody was better.
You know how much shit costs in nineties, Dude, you could get a hamburger for seventeen cents on wait.
So that no, just because gonna say if you think that if it doesn't make any difference, If you think that though that that that America has has you know, has has lost its core, lost lost its way or whatever. It's just been lost. And I don't know why that makes me feel better. It just makes me want to fucking hang in there because other people were hanging in there without even knowing it. These people are shopping while
while this stuff was was surrounding them. Now we can at least shop and be aware that things are fucked I don't know that's I don't know why that makes me feel better, but it just does make me feel better to know that we are engaging with the problem now.
Reading about other fucked up times in US history when you're about to possibly live through an incredibly fucked up time in US history, I think that makes sense. Like this is a continuum, this is we're all part part of a story and people have lived through it before.
Yeah, and even more importantly just for me, like I like the fact that that we should have been activated by JFK, but but everybody was just too to to you know, checked out or whatever.
I just to throw people off the scent that he had Kennedy killed, then passed a lot of civil rights legislation, so pass that if I wanted him dead.
Oh my god, that is such a good lvout.
That's all upit my chunk.
In my bum hoole. Man, Come on now, oh man, rodbi does hoole.
He does need his pants altered because he's got big, big dong and a low bunghole.
Something that seem was going up as bunghole.
Definitely tailor riding up my bunghole.
Yeah, he said something aout he was talking was bunghole Jack.
Do you want to share a video?
No, not really. I'd love to love to see more from Professor crofton other videos.
Can you show us?
Well, I guess, I guess I'm sort of obsessed with history because it does remind me that that, you know, all this bad stuff is always happening, and one of the things that was bad was a civil war. And so I was watching this once, the first time I was ever on this show. I talked about metal Detecting and how I watch it on on on YouTube, and I remember Miles said, hell, what are talking about? You watch people on the beach And then I said, no, no, you think I am an idiot. No, He was like, oh, bo,
what is it? What do you do, mister sophisticated? And I was like, I watched historical metal Detecting and.
I'm watching low brow beach metal detective. Like hit detecting.
The idea is just like people leave shit on the beach and lose shit on the beach, so it's just like getting getting people's rings and getting peoples like loose change and ship.
Yeah, and that's not interesting to me at all. And the fact that makes me sad. That makes money they made, bro, that makes me sad.
Why does that make you sad? Chris?
I just think it's like that makes me, I don't know, like finding some earrings at somebody you know and then being like, ah, they're they're not real gold. I mean that just makes me.
I just think you should be looking for the real shit, Like are just to be.
Doing something better with your time.
I mean, you're trying to make I don't know, you should be up on the boardwalk mugging.
People, yeah, strong arm robbery.
Whatever it is. I just think it's sad finding people's ship from yesterday. I don't know why, but but I want to.
I don't want to one hundred and fifty years yesterday or cell phones.
Like you know this guy we're about to watch if we watch it as like and we don't have to, but it's this guy, Aqua Sigger, that was one of the people that Yeah, that's his name. I know. It's like it's it's like, I don't it's not the name I would have chosen, but his name is Aqua Sigger. And he is like one of the most popular. He
has so many subscribers. And he even ended up on a damn he ended up on a on a show called so where he actually got to go to England and and you know and like and like all over Europe and do like metal detecting and moats and stuff that's fun. Yeah, so he got to I didn't realize but he got to go.
Yeah.
His real name is like Bo something other, and he's annoying, but he's really really relentless. And the guy just looks at Civil War maps and goes to the river where the camp was and says how they drop stuff down the bank, and then he goes and finds it. And so one day I was watching his stuff and then he he found a damn whole musket in the in the river from the Civil War, and I was I was just knocked out. I was knocked out. I was like, what else is in the river?
Then?
Is like, you know, is the dark of the Covenant and the damn river there?
What else is down there?
Yeah?
Like the damn you know, everything is in the riot, Damn the US Constitutional Yeah, old jukeboxes and and uh, just all kinds. I mean everything you could possibly want.
Trump's missing votes from the twenty twenty elections.
So I'm just saying, so, yeah, so this guy, you know, I just think it was a knockout thing for.
Me to see this that that there's still a and Chris, you are not alone. This video for the Listeners at Home has one point seven million views.
Yeah.
Yeah, Okay, So here's him. He's saying, look, this seems like a good area to check out. He's clearly like in chest high water right now, kind of hot.
Also, yeah, he stands around in the water particular that you know, said you know, there's gonna be something there, and I just had a hunch. I've been hunting out for about fifteen minutes. Found some modern stuff, nothing great until now. Well I don't know if it's great, but it's pretty cool from what I can say, he's I got a decent signal on the.
He like hit a smile in this way that I was like, oh, he's excited. He's Oh.
This guy does not get excited either. He goes he's like I know.
But you just uh like look there's this like little lip quiver he does that. I'm like, oh, he's excited.
Oh, yeah, he's excited.
This is right there, he said.
He like his face is about to smile, and then he's.
Like, no, I got come on ship together. Okay, it's pretty cool from what I can see.
I got a decent signal on the at goal and said, say, gun down there, some type of long gun.
I don't know.
I could be like a modern shot gun, or could be yourself a war gun. I'm hoping.
I can't really tell for sure.
Come on, lets you take a peek at it.
He's teasing. He knows what he's doing.
Anything, he's show he knows what he's doing.
Baby, Why does he have like uh oh, the he has He has headphones on that look like the headphones that wait, you're at a firing range, but it's they're the headphones for listening to metal detector.
Weird that the style is, says that hammer.
He's like Bob Hope with more algae war.
Oh yeah, this ship is so visible, like just.
From it's just sitting there.
That's what's wild, is like this ship is just.
All around here.
All right.
He's gonna put water and it's gonna immediately break there it is. We're underwater, folks.
So it looks like a stick. Yeah, it looks like you would never know you could you can everything. Yeah, there's but that thing's been walked over for you know, people have been you know, yeah, swimming and everything. They said, damn, it.
Seems like he just planted it.
But it's the exact same, like mossy ass color and picture of everything just planted.
He could plant it, but he's not.
He finds he's got like it looks like I feel like it would take so much work and get it to look like that, Yeah, to get it to look exactly the same everything around it. Also just that he was like, yeah, I've been hunting for about fifteen minutes that I've like found a bunch of like modern stuff already. He's like, yeah, this guy, yeah, stopped finding stuff. He does even videos on finding cell phones.
I hate them. I hate them. He does video he doesn't.
Care what he fishes you off when you see it's like a fucking yeah.
He finds a whole bunch of cell phones and old sunglasses, and he's just as excited as he is when he finds a civil war.
Gun'sus everything we need to know about the people of the year twenty.
Twelve right, Yeah, it makes me sad.
Everybody in the your they love likes, they loved l g phones.
All right.
So he's using a magnet now to see if he can get a little magnet action. That's a hit.
Uh yeah, I think we got it.
Whoo.
So he's he's got a magnet on a stick and he just picked up the gun with it. It's definitely a long rifle. I'm seeing civil war area here, Chris.
That's a civil war carbing.
Yeah, he says, that's a civil war carbing and he says it all calm, but that's about as excited as aqua chicker gets. Yeah, he's a he's a very stoic of guy who treasurer hunter, who doesn't how to name a YouTube channel.
I mean, whatever he's doing, it's working for him.
He's got one point seven million views on this thing of him finding some moss covered gun in the bottom of a prick.
He did say, wow, this is so cool.
He's also put up like one point seven million videos. The guy is relentless.
This is number one.
Is here?
Wow?
There it is. Look at that there's a gun from the Civil war?
Wow?
So which which side? Which side? Though?
This reminds me though, of I don't know which one it is, but he he, you know, he is another example of a guy that's like, you know, well, no, not a guy, but the fact that he's involved with finding things from a period of history that we think of is a long time ago when not only did the election go badly, but there was an actual war and people got through it. So that's another thing. Like I just like looking at history because it reminds me that this is temporary and even if it is bad.
We have had a really great run in post war America, post World War Two. We had an artificially good run of just standing around eating ice cream and racing hot rods and fucking and you know, doing whatever the fuck we wanted and not worrying about anything. And that is not a normal setting, Like we are not supposed to be able to just drive through anywhere we want and get issued hamburgers and giant fucking.
My state issued hamburger. Scum back, I'm issuing you a hamburger.
Yeah, I'm here for my hamburger, and I'd also like a giant cup of icing and some hece icing for my dog as well. Because we live in a curricula. Didn't even get fucking pup cups.
And filterless cigarettes for your daughter.
Yeah, I mean whatever we've been living in like you know, extra money to go gamble, Oh, let's gambling, Like, I mean, that's not this is we are living in a heathenist That's why we're all so fucking over stimulated and bored as well. And this is all I talk about in goldbru got me like, so, I'm actually just pirating my own content.
But that's what podcasting is, Chris.
But the fact is they'll thank you. That's the fact is that, yes, we are not living in an enlightened manner. We are living like complete slob sugar slobs. We're sugar eating machines. On my podcast, I said, this is what I said, and I'm gonna use it because I like it.
All right, this is do you know what cafe Mocha was back in the old days, like say, like the year three hundred, what a king, a king got a Cafe moca once a year and the people danced and only the king got to eat it because only the king got to experience that level of decades.
Yeah, they're like, yes he.
Deserves it, Yes he deserves. It is.
Smile, and you have to travel the globe.
They had to travel the globe. They had to go to Damn, they had to go to you know, wherever. They had to go to Siam, Siam to get the damn chocolate, and then they had to go to they had to go to Australia to get the whipped cream. And then they had to go to the killed cause they had to go to Madagascar to get the get the part of them. And then finally, after all these elephant trains went through the mountains and they delivered all
the ingredients. They had a bunch of very lucky people got to assemble this mocha for the king, benevolent King, I'm of Scandinavia.
Side question but relevant. How often you know, knowing like how exotic things were that would travel like by land to certain like to the monarchies of different countries, how often do you think they pulled up and the ship was completely like rotten and yeah, but they're like, ah, fuck.
Dude, turns out fucking yogurt is disgusting, yeah, or the they hate it anyway because they have no like sort of they have no basis for comparison They're like, this looks amazing, this green meat you've brought me. Yeah, that's how we got cheese. They were like, we brought you milk and they're like liquid solid.
Ship.
Yeah.
So these people had the eat green meat that traveled on the Silk Road. And now we're like, I don't know how many How am I supposed to choose a movie? There's too many on Netflix. They all suck different.
World, different problems. I think ours are just as bad.
Yeah, personally, But to that point, I think it is what you're saying, Chris, I think to make it serious again, things do change. Nothing stays permanent. And for all the things that we think is like we're just stuck in certain systems or whatever, that things can happen, and they often do. They usually do so.
And might offer a richer existence then the cafe mochas just for the king, That's what I'm saying, Yes, instead of this mindless like I want to have fifteen cafe moca's a day and I still feel like shit. And if they rune out a mocha, I say, where's the mocha, Where's the mocha? Where's the macha? Motherfers? I didn't join Starbucks rewards program to not get any fucking moca. You know,
that's the kind of people we're dealing with. So like, if we actually took away all the drive throughs, I don't know if that's on Trump's agenda, that's probably not, but you know, I would like if there was some moment where we had to come together and remember that some guy fell in a river and dropped his gun and he's probably twenty two years old fighting for some bullshit that was all fucking organized by politicians as usual, pitting Americans against each other while the politicians sit on
a hill and smoke pipes or whatever. And uh, you know, we're now aware that's all. That's what my historical stuff is. That's what reading about hearing about the jfk assassination is. It's just like, if we can get engaged, we're gonna find out that that is such a good feeling as opposed to this endless, hedonistic existence which America has been indulging in.
Yeah.
Just yeah, the consumption to sort of sue the like bigger problems that we have because it's insane. It's been pretty brilliant, I think, just globally where it's like, let's swap out progress for consumption and use that as the new gold standard for people to experience some kind of meaning. It's like, how much can you look? Get these cool pants?
And everyone feels like a husk? You know what I mean? There's no because everyone has the exact same ship too, So it's.
Like not me, I drip different, baby, I d different you know, you know what, anybody else with a Dodgers hat.
I have never seen that nice barely applied. I voted sex.
Nice one.
What did you say, Jack?
Because I dripped different? And I think for the listeners it was the second time around. Yeah, dirty jokes from the era of the Civil War.
Yeah, bring back dirty jokes.
Let's you can't say anything anymore.
Welcome back to the podcast Going Blue with Mouse and Jack.
Do you think Joe Biden is like hoping that kind of that the Democrats lose so he can be.
Like, see fucking told you.
I don't know what I say, man, when I say mac, as long as as long as someone tucks him in that night, I think he'll be okay.
Yeah, yeah, uh well, we it's it's about that type of taking another break.
Brow we're gonna.
Get back we're gonna do some other videos. We'll be right back, and we're back.
Could you hear the Trump deflation creeping into my voice as I said Peanut the squirrel and Tucker CROs all right, So Peanut the squirrel is a very adorable pet fluencer was alright, still living in my heart, a pet squirrel that had a big Instagram following the New York Department of Environmental Conservation had asked his owner to not own squirrels because they'll, yeah, it's illegal. He was like, fuck that,
I will also own raccoons. The New York Department of Environmental Conservation euthanized both Peanut and a raccoon owned by this same couple over the weekend, and it's being touted as an example of state overreach, and it's specifically being grabbed onto buy the Trump campaign. So I like, that's why I was trying to like get my head around how this became their costs. I was like, so, did
did Harris speak approvingly of this decision? Like that seems like such a such a blunder on her part, Like.
Did she just come out when she was like, yeah, fu peanuts, well, my whole chest peanuts squirrel that raccoon too, Like that's what I was ext.
Decision.
It's like Andy Samberg and like a squirrel outfit, and she's like pointing a gun at him.
Oh, y'all didn't think I knew how to lick this glock washing.
I mean, that does sound like her in some in some ways. But the couple claimed for their part that jealousy played a role in what happened, which I always love when that is just the only explanation people.
I don't know they were jealous.
Maybe ever think about that they're jealous of what of a squirrel?
Of the fact that you are a squirrel.
Influence the The dad, the husband of the duo, is known as squirrel Daddy Peanuts Dad, very kinky player, has a pretty good following on that. That's the description of his bio, not just me describing him, but it has
a pretty big only fans following. And the a New York Department of Environmental Conservation had come out and explained that in actuality, the squirrel bit someone involved in the investigation into the illegal keeping squirrels and they had to euthanize the squirrel to test him for raping.
I just love that this is there fucking They're like, no, dude, this is going to do it. We need to get people turnd up about justice for peanut and the dude's OnlyFans account. Yeah, this horny rat owner. Yeah.
Elon Musk claimed that Trump will save the squirrels and, by extension, America's squirrel themed jerk off videos, and JD Vance said that Trump is fired up about this issue and that the Biden administration doesn't want us to have pets. It's it's just like they can't not be weird, you know, like that he is the guy who is like, you know, fuck cat people, fuck people people who own cats as pets. But then they're like, here's the here's the way we'll
get everybody on our side for this election. In the last week of the election. People who keep squirrels right, well, it.
Seems it seems very much in theme with the chronically online way that the campaign is run, right. I mean, that's martially why it's so weird. It's because also the Internet is weird, so like these people are very like four Chan influence, which was weird, and now they're yeah, you know, it's just all weird, and they're like, we should go on aiden Ross's like live stream. It's like who are you talking to?
Like, dude, you.
Gotta go see Andrew Schultz. What do you create? You gotta kiss the ring? You're like nobody kiss a fuck? Yeah right, okay, great voter outreach.
Yeah, so you know there's grotesque mask off racism on Twitter in response to this, comparing the murder of the squirrels the murder of George Floyd, death of the squirrel, Yeah, death of the squirrel to the murder of George Floyd, and also that they're using this as an example of state overreach. And just days ago, another woman died as a direct result of the DBS decision in Texas, an abortion bent. But that's not the example of government because.
That's too potent in the other way. So let's not touch that.
Yeah, she wasn't a little fuzzy cutie. That's the other thing. Like there's this very child like they can only we got to save the.
Babies, you know what I mean.
It's like a seven year old mentality. You know, they only like it if it's cute and little.
Yeah, all right, And just as a bit of an additional preview of the weird flavor of fascism we'll all be living under soon. If Trump does win.
It's easier for you to just be like, Trump's gonna win, man, I think it is.
Do you do that so that if in case it how I've seen how I am as a basketball fan, Miles like, yeah, yeah, I guess what. It always comes true. Look at what's happened to the Sixers.
No, I don't know.
Yeah, I think there's just yeah, like keep the expectations low so that like that some of the good comes through.
I get that.
Yeah, yeah, but you know, I do, like I have been following the polls and the people who think Harris is a better chance to anybody in the mainstream was saying for a long time. I just but I still think there's always a chance that you know things for sure?
Yeah, sure, so absolutely, I do.
Just like how weird because because the power will all be consolidated under Trump, I think it's easy for people to not remember that. In twenty sixteen, it was like he came in, he didn't think he was gonna win, he didn't have a team around him, and was using people who were political operatives around him, and then those people were like, yeah, we're not going to do that. We're not going to tell you that you're gonna like say something crazy.
We're can ignore it.
And now we have like you know, Elon Musk will be a major figure in his administration. Tucker Carlson, I think will be incredibly powerful. And I did just want to check in with Tucker because you know, I think if you gave Trump a lie detector test and asked if you believed in God, he'd like make fun of you for asking the question. But the people around him believe some.
Pretty wild shit.
And Tucker Carlson, who I've heard people refer to as like he would be like the sensible voice of trump Ism that like gets people to come on board for it, just told an interviewer that he was attacked by a demonic force in his bed, which left scratch marks that made him bleed. So when he this is for a documentary called Christianity tease because there's multiple Christianities.
Okay, Like it's like they're teasing that christ is a real thing tease. Yeah exactly.
I wish it was Christianity t e A. But it was like because the real gossipy.
Yeah yeah, don't think a cool youth youth pastor hasn't used that one before? Oh yeah, that spill Christy.
It's like the like the what is it the Protestant version of like confession?
Right?
How about it? Christianity? Folks, don't you let me know.
Who's hooking up with whom? Yeah, tell me your twenty two year old youth pastor. So the guy who's interviewing him, who's the head of that documentary again, hosting a documentary about Christianity? So not exactly like foreign to magical thinking, asks Tucker. He's like, oh, you were attacked by demonic forces? Are you referring to journalism? In an extremely labored metaphor twist, Tucker Carlson says, hell no, damn alligator bit. My hand off essentially.
Is a.
Little happy girl, more reference, timely and cool. No, So asked if he was referring to journalism. Carlson responded, no, in my bed at night, I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs. We'll come back to that. And mall physically mauled. Carlson said he still bears the scars. Said his assailant was a quote demon, he added, or by something unseen that left claw marks on my sides. Again. He was sleeping with four dogs, he said. At the time of the attack, he was
asleep in bed. I was totally confused. I woke up and I couldn't breathe, and I thought I was going to suffocate. I walked around outside, and then I walked in and my wife and dogs had not woken up, and they're very light sleepers. And then I had these terrible pains on my rib cage and on my shoulders, and I was just in my boxer shorts, and I went and flipped on the light in the bathroom and I had four claw marks on either side, underneath my
arms and on my left shoulder, and they're bleeding. And then he talked to his intern, and his intern was like, oh, yeah, demons will do that. Dog They attack in your bed all the time. So I just I think just worth knowing. I also want to just fact check the people who are like, yeah, he was trying to cover up an affair. First of all, the specifics of the story would require him to be like trying to explain like he just snuck off into the woods at night to like fuck someone or something.
Classic cheater move.
Yeah, and to the specifics of the story would require Tucker Carlson to be someone capable of fucking someone well enough to cause them to dig their nails, and I just like don't see that for him, you know, yeah, it seem like you.
Could also just be paying to get scratched up too, Like he's like, yeah, just shred me up, meet me in the woods.
Call me crazy, But I feel like the most likely candidate is there in the first sentence of the story when he reveals his dogs in a bed with his wife and four dogs yeh.
Yo with the with the kink daddy squirrel guy and are they eroticizing their pets? Like why do you why do you have four dogs in bed with you? And then yeah, anyway, also like, if there's anyone this makes me believe in a spirit world actually, because if there's anyone who I would think would get attacked by a demon,
it'd be hit. And also like, if you believe in sort of Jesus and demons, in a demon attacks you, don't you think you would take some time for some self reflection and be like, maybe I'm not on the side of the light here if I like, well more, this is.
This happened a year and a half ago, and he has corrected his ways by becoming a full boat Christian fascist. He addressed a rally in Georgia last week, and I saw the headline that he was like talking about Trump being like a bad daddy. But I just want to read the whole quote, because also he was in bed with his wife, who you know, I don't know how she feels about her husband, but I just want to read this quote from him. He's talking about if Trump
gets elected. He's not vengeful. He loves his children. Disobedient as they may be, he loves them because they're his children. They live in his house. But he's very disappointed in their behavior and he's going to have to let them know when Dad gets home. You know what he says, You've been a bad girl. You've been a bad little girl. That's that is direct. That's what the that's what he said.
Like, that is Yeah, he's getting scratched up for money. He's paying, Yeah, he's paying.
He's on kink Kink. Squirrel Daddy's only fans for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, He's like, can you make it look like squirrel scratches would really be hot?
He just literally recreated the most disturbing scene from The Handmaid's Tail for his closing argument for that's true.
Yeah, did you guys see by.
The way, Margaret Atwood tweeted comic that showed like handmaids going into the voting booth and coming out like dressed as normal modern women, and somebody responded faces out of context on Twitter responded the author. The author of that book used Islam, not Christianity, as as a model for her imaginary world. This is obviously true as it resembles Islamic culture and law and not christian he said to the author of the too. Margaret who pointed? Who pointed?
Lee said that she based the book on actual events in history.
Did you see SNL this weekend? Because there was the same bit where Sarah Squirm played Margaret Atwood in like this quiz show and was standing right next to like a Mulaney, like was like playing like a hyper lib type character and had no idea that it was like he was talking about a Handmaid's Tale and they're like, right next to you is Margaret Outwood. He's like, oh shit, it's it was a It was a fun one.
Did you guys see that that commercial that was the two ladies who went into the voting booth and yeah that those were my friends, my buddy Dana, my friends Dana Well yeah and Julie Golden. Yeah, they did that, and so they were like, we were all texting each other when it like got on Fox.
They were Fox News is all pissed about it, you know what I mean.
And they're like, Julia roberts One, yeah, yeah, yeah, They're like, they're doing our work for us. They're showing this exactly to the people who we want to see it.
You know, well, this is perfect that you mentioned that, because Charlie Kirk we we last week. We're like, yo, he's freaking out. At a certain point, We're like, is this a motivational tactic. I'm starting to think this is actually just freaking out now because he brought it up again on another podcast about like referencing this commercial and this is this is what he had to say about, like this is basically part of the Harris campaign's plan, which is like this just this.
Listen to this Harris in the advertisement and she lies to her husband about who she votes for and the demo. So just so we're clear, the Democrats push to win in order for the Democrats to win with the current data, millions of wives who have to lie to their husbands. I'm gonna say it again in order for them, because because we're not seeing this in the data yet, we're not seeing this collapse. Their path to victory would be the largest mass conspiracy of spousal lion in political history.
Prove me wrong, Prove me wrong.
They're so afraid of losing this fucking weird perceived power.
We're like, my beautiful life must be honest with me at all time.
You know.
It's yeah, I mean, because this is like, for whatever reason, they're the Conservatives are connecting the dots that like a woman has the capacity to think for themselves, because like even those pictures of Trump and Eric Trump over the weekend, like leering over the voting booth to make sure their wives are voting for them, is so like you're like, oh, y'all are fucking shook, ye.
There scared, And they also like they refuse to acknowledge what that power structure does that they're like, are women tragically who are not safe because their husbands are abusive to speak to vote in the way that they would like to vote, Like they can't. They can't even acknowledge that that might not be a possibility.
They're just having like, yeah, like that like episode of Sopranos where Tony is like becoming aware that he thinks everyone's like laughing at his ship and just like lying to him because he's the boss, and like they'll be like these I bet these conservatives like thinking of all the ship their wives like.
No, Charlie, I love your guitar playing.
Your post normal size.
Yeah, oh no, I definitely came babe.
Yeah, I love that you hate Conna Lingis you know.
Oh, you're right, it is gross. Our son's not gay.
We're uh, we shall see. Anyways, stay safe out there, folks, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, watch up for the fucking election monitors. Yeah, all right, that's gonna do it for this week's weekly Zeich geys, please like and review the show If you like, the show means the world of Miles. He needs your validation. Folks. I hope you're having a great weekend and I will talk to you Monday. Bye.