Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Taco Belled trend Fest Cereal. That's something right, people will know that.
Means twists, cinnamon trends, trendam in twists. Yeah.
I wanted to hold off on that because just the idea of Coco Bell breakfast cereal is so fucked up. It's such a weird picture in your mind until you find out that cinnamon twist.
In my mind, it's it's just a bunch of dried beans, tortilla chip strips, and like loose shredded cheese, and then you pour milk on it.
And the blobs of ground beef actually get nice and moist once you pour the milk in. Yeah.
Yeah, they really activate, They really take on a life of its own.
Yeah. Yeah, brand flakes, Dorido flavored marshmallows, hunks of ground beeps and then instead of pouring milk, you just pour in sour cream. No, the actual So Taco Bell is dropping a cereal on all of our asses. Uh, and it is cinnamon twist cereal. The best they did, the right one.
Yeah I missed a cinnamon twist.
Yeah, it's not going to be made widely available because you know it's one of those like fast food activations.
But honestly, you know, Ta Kobel, I'm off this. You have to be a little bit.
It has to hit every corner, every segment of society or else it's just bullshit.
Yeah, what are we even doing here?
Couldn't even get apple Atchian sipping cream over this side of those arcs, you know what I mean? The fuck is going on? Bulls bullshit man, Although we did ultimately, yeah, I mean, shout out to doctor j P. They they came through with they broke me off with some of their ego sipping cream that they ordered online and brought me a little amazing shop.
I'm not gonna high. I can't bring myself to drinking.
It really looked like coffee, mate. It looks like coffee maye like alcohol. I've infused coffee, mate, Yeah vibe.
I think it's just also too like I need to buy. I want to see it in the jar. I want that full experience like it feels. And no, look, doctor JP, I know you're listening. I love you, fam and I appreciate you bringing me the jar. But there's something about it when I look at it in my refrigerator, because it's not labeled.
It sounds like, you know, like when Smeiegel looks at the ring and it's.
Like, yeah, shot up, Like that's what the vibe I can hear the yeah.
So the sipping cream is calling your name, but not not not in a kind way, in a way that makes you think that you're gonna lose your grasp of saying. I guess. There was Wendy's Frosty Cereal, which I'm okay, I don't need that ship at all personally. No, it was like a cocoa puff style cereal. I don't need it anyways. I could see. Yeah, No, I think I think cinnamon Twist is probably if I had to come up with like the breakfast cereal fast food combination, and
this is what Taco Bell is. Yeah, you know, I'm here, Well done, Taco Bell. So there's a story that our man in Canada, our writer J M McNabb, flagged for us. That's a lot of fun. It is about thirty eight year old Brian Paree of quebec Qua, who of Quebec, quebec Qua would be what he is, yes thank you, who was known on the Internet for routinely posting conspiracy theories accusing the government of deliberately starting forest fires to trick people into believing in climate change.
So the logic here is that the reason we have forest fires is an op so the government can get y'all all in on this idea of climate change.
Yes, they want you to believe in climate change, so they're starting, they're intentionally starting forest fires. Got Unfortunately for the credibility of that claim, he just plaged guilty to thirteen counts of arson and one count of arson with disregard for human life because he was, let me just check this, starting forest fires.
Oh oh oh, okay that that that does a bit for your That doesn't do well for your conspiracy theory.
There was his name, Brian Pare.
Yeah.
Well, I mean at least he was. I mean he was, I guess manifesting in one sense of the word.
I'm trying to find.
Him that one way to call it. He was witnessing. Like, they started to get suspicious because so many of the fires were happening in the same areas in a short period of time, seemingly with no natural cause, and he was a witness to a lot of them. They're like, wait, what was this? Well, like Canada is huge, right, like
we we all live here, Canada's pretty big, right. Why is the smetherfucker always happened to be around every time there's a fire, so he became a suspect specifically because of his interest in fires, including those Facebook posts and yeah, so, some right wing media pundits have tried to turn this news into evidence that the government shouldn't have been so quick to blame climate change for the forest fires, which is what very stupid, because first of all, there were
more than seven hundred forest fires in Quebec this summer, and ninety nine point nine percent of the fires were sparked by lightning, and second of all, his version of how the fires came about. He was arrested back in September and admitted to starting some of the fires, but only because he was doing tests to find out whether the forest was really dry or not, so he sparked the fires to test the hypothesis that the forest was
dry from climate change. The forest responded by being so dry due to climate change that it immediately burst into flames and started like devastating forest fires that could be seen like from the country over like in the smoke. Yeah, he was conducting an experiment and got the results in dramatic fashion. And the dramatic results are climate change is indeed very bad and causing forest fires.
Has he don't have any idea if he's come around now that like it's true, he's like, you know what, we haven't gotten.
You know what, my honor.
After these experiments and the way the results that I did yield from them, I must say I believe that maybe, yeah, they are dry as fuck.
My honor, and maybe it's climate change. So I'm willing to I'm willing to own that.
Yeah, this is one of the great experiments we've seen conducted by the right wing, one of the great one since that flat earther fired himself into the APPMO. Yeah yeah, and crashed back to Earth and died. Uh and you know, proving I think probably the last thing he saw was oh ship, that ship curves, this ship curn uh huh.
And then yeah, say, well you hate to see it to all, to all the pioneering scientists out there, your your your contributions won't have not gone in vain. But I mean except for this guy who costs tens of thousands of people, Yeah.
Who's countless animals and endangered lives and.
Yeah, like just be a danger to yourself, like go burn, like burn your own ship down, you know what I mean. But at least the guy in the fucking rocket ship like that was a purely self generated l.
Right, all right, there's some fake news from the past week. The AP he's been doing this service where they drop a story that is like news that didn't happen this week.
Here's some stories that you might have heard. I don't think I had heard any of these in particular, although this first one, so the first one is about the tunnels that the Hasidic community was digging, and that the rumor was that these were being used for human trafficking, whereas you know, it was actually being used to live the truth that tunnels are fucking cool, as we previously reported, but because anti Semitism never sleeps, they tried to cram
some antisemitic tropes in there and maybe about like sneaky tunnels used to transport well.
Because like it's one of those things they're like pointing to, like a report of like sexual abuse like in a synagogue, and they're like, and that means any time this happens, and I'm like, well, you know, like with the Catholic Church, where there's like enough like that you could be like, I guess maybe, But also like, is that immediately what we're jumping to here, because based on what all the people in the community are saying, it was simply a
dispute over the rabbi there being the Messiah and trying to expand the footprint of this specific temple.
But yeah, of course, because as you say, and.
Wanting a cool place to study.
Place cool place to study where you can like smoke SIGs down there, you know what I mean, play the fucking music your mom wants you to turn down and shit, yeah, dude, that's weird.
That's right. Another fake story came about because there were two comedians who dressed up as Trump supporters to film the Stop the Steel rally back on January sixth, and uh, that's being used by magg of people being like, see the attacks were an inside job. Oh my god, because these two YouTube comedians went undercover, that must mean that they started the whole thing. It does not mean that.
And then another big story of forty four year old migrant named sahill Omar was identified as the sus effect in an explosion at a historic hotel in Fort Worth, Texas. This is big news because he was also identified as the suspect behind the shooting at UNLV last month. Oh okay, it turns out he doesn't exist. What the explosion was a natural gas explosion caused presumably by deregulation and corporate carelessness.
You'll find out more about that on tomorrow's episode when we talked about Boeing.
So they they just made up a fucking guy, or like, how how does this pursing the same guy?
They're just like late, they're copy and pasting this same forty four year old migrant named sahill Omar.
So he's like the Alan Smithy of like xenophobic.
They just need a When you need a forty four year old migrant to blame something on, this is your guy, right For.
People don't know, Alan Smithy is like a pseudonym that people use in show business to be like I didn't write that or direct that.
Yeah, when a director like makes something and it gets like they lose control of it or it turns into be a turns out to be a big piece of shit, they will be like this was actually directed by Alan Smithy yes, I think American History X is probably the best known movie that was directed by Alan Smithy. Oh really, Edward Norton kind of took over control of that from the director, and so the director was like, not me, couldn't be me. Must have been that fellow, Alan Smithy.
Let's take a quick break. We'll come right back in or back and the cold weather in Chicago is exposing some failed design features on tesla's that this is a little bit satisfying for me as somebody who has like you know, gotten into a Tesla before, where I didn't know how to work the door handle and felt like an complete full trying to open the door handle, like hitting it, it doesn't respond.
I'm telling you I was.
I was radicalized against tesla's the first time I tried to get in somebody's tesla, Like I remember getting picked up by one of like when we were I was was me and her majesty and like her homegirl's husband like has a Tesla and then pulled up the way I looked like a time traveling peasant from the Middle Ages trying to open like just be like this is.
Completely confounding me, me lord.
And it's just like press on the stick and then like moved a little flap and then it opens, and I was like, man, shit made me look dumb as fuck. Bro, fuck these cars just like immediately like no, yeah, thank shout out to my fragile ego.
Well, it turns out our fragile egos were right, because these handles don't fucking work when it's cold outside. No, you know, you get a little ice on the outside of your car. I've definitely had this before where I go to open the door of my car and it's like frozen shut right that. But you just have to like yank on a little bit with these like the door handles, like you need to like start chipping away
at the ice. There's no there's no way to like reach in there, which like not not very helpful.
No, the clips that are going around are a lot of people being like, Okay, so ice is completely frozen over my door handle and the door. So like maybe once I've after I've excavated the handle with my fingernails and bloody fingertips, I can then get the fucking handle to activate. But then at which point the like little pneumatic lever that's pushing the door open can't even fucking do it because the rest of my door is frozen solid shut. It's just wild to see. Because there's also
the superchargers. Those places were completely like malfunctioning because of the super cold temperature and like people's like their cars are basically dying as they were waiting to get in line.
For a supercharger.
Uh and yeah, but unfortunately this is this has created a huge wave of like conservatives like on the internet being like and this is why I'll always keep burning petroleum in my earthfucker car. So not the best the best ad for Tesla, but you know, so.
My car belches black smoke exactly the only way to do it.
Except when there's a software update and then that completely bricks my car.
But that's it's still a fucking forward, right. I'm sure there's a way to make e vehicles and uh you know that that work and aren't shitty and we we will get there totally soon, I think. But a lot of the people I'm assuming they won't be made by Elon Musk.
Well, yeah, a lot of the people who have been like who are like know about it, like, oh, people should be doing this before, and that helps a lot, like because I think there might be a lot of people who have I don't know. I mean, like I get it, like the battery life is the range that goes down when it's super cold, but like you know, it seems like there's ways around it.
But hey, that's why I'm over here without the tesla.
And I look like I said, I'm an aspiring Lambeaux owner and this shit would never happen in a Lambo.
That's right. Lambeau's handle extremely well in icy conditions. Oh we all know that. Oh yeah, all right, Uh, this is something I hadn't really experienced. But apparently the US Federal Highway Administration is having to put a stop to humorous highway signs. Ah have you have you seen a humorous highway sign? I have, like some examples Usia Blanca in Massachusetts, don't drive star spangled hammered. I'm assuming that's on for the July pocus Pocus drive with focus. Oh. I like that Halloween.
I feel like I saw one that was having to do with like smoking weed, like in Oregon, maybe Washington or something. I saw like one like that that was very like, hey, stoner, don't lose your boner while you're driving.
I don't know if it said that exactly, but it was it was something to that effect.
Yeah, it was again like one of these sort of punny, rhymey kind of things.
Yeah. One one that I'm seeing a picture for here is driving fast and furious. That's Luda Chris O.
Ye.
Yes, so cousin Eddie says Twitter is full put down the phone was one in Mississippi. That one sucks. I guess it's the reference to Christmas vacation. Yeah. For some reason, like my my brain went to t G I F and I think I mixed cousin Larry and Eddie from Family Matters in my head.
Yeah that's I mean, Yoda uses.
The force but still needs a car seat. No the fuck he doesn't, doesn't. Y'all were just like trying to get and on the mandalor.
I like getting like like actually the fucking like low Star Wars law of a sign.
No, yeah, please.
Let's hold on, just start shut all the fucking traffic down to get everyone's attention.
He does not need a car seat.
He's in a floating carriage ORB type situation, which he absolutely doesn't need. He has full control of the force anyway, and also his name is Groku.
Right, this is a real alien versus predator situation where whoever wins, we all lose because on the one hand you have the buzzkill US Federal Highway Administration who are like, you must not make your signs this funny. They are a distraction. And on the other hand, you have like the office comedians who are writing these things. Right, these just like labored pop culture references. Yeah, like almost definitely people who say that's what she said five times a day still to this day.
Or do like love to make fart sounds with their mouths all the time, Like.
It's like, dude, come on, fucking thirty thousand years old, please. Yeah, I almost as said thirty nine and just self owned there, dude, you're thirty nine, you're Ninefo you're.
Doing fart noises? Yeah, I think they're funny.
Still, did you censor that for me? You didn't want to hurt my feelings?
No, I know, I was.
I was just realizing I was just gonna just completely roast myself.
I was protecting me, Jack.
I learned it from watching you. Okay, another one texting and driving say it, I'm the problem. It's me, Okay, all right, Taylor. I do feel like these would be a little bit of a distraction. On the other hand, maybe they are more likely to get my attention. I would probably get a little annoyed after I saw it for like the fifth time.
Yeah, but like, have you ever been moved by a clever pun to actually change your like reckless behavior, Like at the peak of my like boozing and drug use or something in college and I saw a sign like that, I'm like, hah, that shit is funny.
I'm going harder now, turn around to the back seat fully to.
Talk about it exactly, fucking hands completely off the wheel and be like, can you should I go around?
I'll pull back around, dude, I'll go over this fucking k rail.
I don't care. Some of the people are like, actually, we're having a lot of success with these signs in Mississippi, which harnessed the power of which is the ones that did the Taylor Swift sign. And then you've got the federal regulators who are like, how funny is too funny? This is a distraction. So yeah, the pro the people who are pro say funny triggers more brain activity among participants. The people who are like that shit is distracting. It's
too damn funny. I think the big lesson is everybody involved has a bad sense of humor, and maybe we need to find like other creative outlets for these people. Yeah, maybe we give them like some improv lessons or something, or just classes for the.
Office, or maybe let's not simplify like that. The solution to the scourge of like horrific drunk driving accidents is to get somebody to like, like think of fast and furious and a ludicrous pun. Like, maybe we can do a little bit better than that, like maybe dealing never mind, I was about to say dealing with root causes to shut up.
Now Anyways, the conclusion that we're dealing with is signs should be simple and not include humor, wit or pop culture references, which, like I just I can't imagine like the people involved in these meetings, like the arguments just be pretty demoralizing.
You have to seriously debate that, and then they say stuff like, well there was increased brain activity.
What this is not serious at all? These can we do something actually effective here?
But I love a good fun all right, Well, those are some of the things that are trending on this January seventeenth. We are back tomorrow with a whole ass episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk y'all tomorrow. Bye bye,