Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of tran We Back tran We back tran We back of Chance the Rapper. Good ass intro from Acid Rap is I believe what my brain was quoting when it spit it back out at me. Come Acid Rap. I haven't listened to that in a long time, but as the Rapp was a great a great time. What a mixtape trend. We back Brian. I am Jack. That is super producer Brian Jeffrey.
Hello, everybody, It's me Brian the Editor.
And this is a character who will be playing.
Yes, I am now hold on, hold on, Jack, hold on? Can I finish? Can I finish?
Oh? Kay? Yeah? Yeah, yeah yeah.
I am rebranding myself as Brian the Editor. Okay, I probably respond damn.
Serious energy, right, a serious branding. Jay.
Hey, it's twenty twenty four.
Okay, it's twenty twenty four, folks, I don't like it. I'd like to return it for one twenty twenty one, please, or just anything, just one nineteen eighty nine. Could I get a nineteen eighty nine in exchange for this twenty twenty four.
I'm feeling like a two thousand and six, maybe because you still you still get enough of the internet. Yeah, you can steal pirate movies, it just takes a lot longer.
Not me. I wouldn't steal a car, and I wouldn't steal a movie. What a time to be alive, folks. Twenty twenty four can only get better from here, right, I mean, it can't be worse. Remember when that was the thing that we all thought.
Honestly, Jack, I didn't think I would live this long. So I'm just hey, I'm just glad to be here.
Guys, Hey, me too. I'm glad to be here for the Epstein document drop. So is anyone who's come within ten feet of an electronic device this week is probably aware. Hundreds of pages of legal documents pertaining to Jeffrey Epstein were unsealed, resulting in an online frenzy that caused the court website hosting the docs to crash within minutes.
Which, may, I add, if you've ever been on a government website, that's really not much of a statement, continued.
Yeah, they crash, all they not great. So people were expecting some bombshells about high profile associates, but it was there's a lot of stuff that I think we already knew. People seem surprised that Stephen Hawking was on there, but I'm pretty sure I knew that already, that he was like a known associate of Epstein, And there's definitely been some stories about Stephen Hawking being a little bit of a creep proof in the past, So you're not gonna
believe this one. Bill Clinton was mentioned over fifty times, but not accused of any crimes, although the documents do reference one of Epstein's accusers alleged that Epstein wants remarked that Clinton likes him young, which doesn't sound good. Would make sense given what we know about him being president to most famously have had an affair with a fucking
relative child in the Oval office. Donald Trump also mentioned, but it's not like it's just The most damning story involves Epstein suggesting that they call up Trump during a stop in Atlantic City, so Trump supporters are like, we won, baby, he wasn't in there that much, which is I mean,
kind of I see where they're coming from. It's not a little weird that they're considering this a win since the victim, the alleged victim in this case, whose lossuit led to all of these documents in the first place, was literally recruited for Epstein while working as a fifteen year old cow girl at mar A Lago, So he's not unimplicated.
I would say, I just I just wonder. My whole thing with this is how for how long are they.
Gonna like like wheel out these little drips and drabs.
Yeah, because it feels like a distraction at this point.
Anytime they wheel out a batch of shit you already knew, yeah, more or less, and just sort of they're just throwing out names like all bunched together. Some of these people are sex predators. Some of these people are just people that he knew because he knew a lot of people.
That was kind of his job.
Yeah, So it's it's frustrated to see this just wheeled out.
Anytime they need a fucking headline or I don't know what the purpose is because they're not gonna like do anything about this. They've had ample time to prosecute anybody who's implicated in this, and they have it.
So like, what is the purpose of this is?
I mean question, there's a lot of document Like I believe that at least part of his strategy for accruing power in the world was blackmailing people, powerful people, and I think there's probably like I wouldn't be shocked if there is eventually something there and like there is new like details that I wasn't aware, Like he offered a cash reward to prove that Stephen Hawking wasn't at an underage orgy, as one lawsuit alleged.
And but I mean, here's my issue is that it seems to amount to more like documentary and people sort of profiting off of it. Yeah, actual action. There's been ample time. There's been enough time for a slew of documentaries to come out, but no cases. Right, It's just salacious. That's the word I'm looking for. It's just salacious.
I will say, I'm not above it. It got my ass. David Copperfield did magic tricks at a dinner party with Epstein and was asking people he did you observe David Copperfield to be a friend of Jeffrey Epstein's. McCauley asked, to which the alleged victims said yes. Did Copperfield ever discuss Jeffrey's involvement with young girls with you? The lawyer
then asked. He questioned me if I was aware that girls were getting paid to find to other girls, which is like suggest that David Copperfield was either like very aware of what was going on and still just like hanging out, or he was like conducting his own like magic guy investigation into into what was happening.
You never know what those magicians are up to.
It could be just true, It could be just a long time like like something out of the prestige.
Yes. Dershwit, though, you know, previously claimed that the documents would prove that he did nothing wrong. And uh, you know, he said he wants every last document and piece of paper relating to his pedophile, to the late pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, to be publicly released, asserting that it will prove that he did nothing wrong. And then he the documents very clearly state that he allegedly raped underage girls and was an eyewitness to sexual abuse of many miners by Epstein
and several of Epstein's co conspirators. And in light of this news, Dershwitz defended himself by blaming feminism and hamas and that that like not a joke, that's literally He went on a Fox News show and like was interviewed and he was like I understand that all the feminist groups and the radicals who think this is the worst thing in the world that anybody ever had any contact with Jeffrey Epstein. That's not what people are mad about. Where are all those radical feminists when it comes to
the Hamas rapes so killing it? Uh? Dershwitz, dersho Wits.
I mean, it just proves, you know, you don't have to be smart to be a lawyer.
Yeah, you have to be smart in one very specific way.
Yeah.
Uh, what else happened over the break? Should we just end it there? Uh? Now, let's let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll go through some other stories that you missed. If you had your head buried under a pillow like we did during the break, will be right back and we're back. And Donald Trump got kicked off the main ballot too. I think he had been kicked off the Colorado ballot ye before we took our break,
before we took our leave of you, good listener. He so also off of may and he's challenging that with the Supreme Court. Stands accused of receiving like millions of dollars of payments from foreign governments while he was president and is probably going to win the presidency like that that, like that. As more news piles up, it seems like people who pay attention to this these sorts of pulling things are like and yeah, man, he's like like that,
it's not out looking good for Biden. He's probably gonna win, that's the thing. Right.
Any state that would take him off the ballot was already yeah, it was.
It was already a blue state, right.
Yeah. Yeah, So that's wild that that's going to happen fairly soon. There's a controversy over Disney Day Drinkers Club where they're mad that they got rid of a mascot called Benny. The thing from this story that is news to me is just that there's a club of people of adults who day drink all day at Epcot in Florida, and they're like, leave our leave our little trash can alone, leave it, leave it where we drink on a trash can.
Yeah, there's something there's something alarmed, like alarming and sad about that that I don't care to articulate or elaborate on.
But there's just there's something spooky about.
That to me. Yeah, spookily and very specifically American. A thirteen year old became the first human to beat Tetris. Recently, an American thirteen year old named Willis Gibson recently beat the original Tetris like kind of there's not like a victory screen where they're like, congratulations, you beat Tetris. But the game is designed to go on forever. But he played until his high score caused the game's memory banks to overload and crash, which I'll give him. I'll give
him the win. That's a that he beat the game. Like he beat his head so hard. Yeah, yeah, beat it so hard that like the game didn't even know what to do with itself. So that's pretty impressive.
Yeah, it is.
I don't want to think about how much time that took, but I am I am so glad Yeah, for humankind that this was done by a thirteen year old in any time period and not a grown ass man.
Well, you lose your like little fast twitchies as you get older, so you needed to be a young Like they were talking about the way that he was doing it, like there there's like a controlling method called like rolling, and like you have to have fingers on like one side, like on both sides of the controller to like get the thing moving fast enough basically because once once, the things just like start appearing in a split second, like you have no no chance to like control or like
think about it. It's just immediate. Like the speed with which the message is going from your brain to your fingertips is.
Yeah, you don't have time to like process anything. Yeah, I've seen videos of people like just leaving their body playing Tetris. Yeah, but I never what's the highest level you made it?
Oh? I beat it? Actually, That's why I was so surprised to see this story because I beat it myself on my game boy. Yeah, yeah, I was. I didn't make a big deal about it, but I'm, you know, as people know, a tremendous gamer.
The switch God.
Yeah, Switch God. Jacob Bryant, No, I don't, I don't remember. I do remember. Like this story gives me anxiety just thinking about what he sees when he closes his eyes at night after doing this, because Tetris is the Tetris and skiing are the two things, and being on a boat those are like the three things that like fuck with my perception so much that hours later, when it was like I was going to sleep. I couldn't a jump. It was just like everything was Tetris in my brain.
You know what's funny is that there's I think it's called Tetris Connect. There's a new Tetris out and I play it in VR and it's like this immersive experience with like music effects and all this stuff. It's very relaxing, something I like to play late at night before I go to bed, and it's it's it's very cool.
Does it fuck you up? Though? In the same way? Do you? Did you get that like perceptual Like yeah.
Like when you're locked in it does something to your brain. Yeah, Visually you get like you can still see the blocks.
Yeah, it's like it's nuts, getting like acid flashbacks without the acid. I'm very boring. I'm getting flashbacks to when I played Tetris for an hour earlier. Today. The young man, the child dedicated the achievement to his dad, who died in December, which was very sad. And yeah, it's it's pretty pretty incredible. I didn't know he's.
Going to get a movie made after him with a story like.
That, story like that gotta be true. But yeah, the rolling technique, like we can follow in the in the movie, we could follow the evolution of the rolling technique invented by Hector Fly. Rodriguez used a similar multi finger role to set button mashing records on the Track and Field arcade game. That's funny. Do you remember that game on Nintendo?
I never played Track and Field.
I remember it, but I was never into the track and field type games of the Olympic games or anything.
It was just like tapping a button really fast is all it measured. Anyways, congratulations too, Willis Gibson. There was some Wonka Nation at the box office that was supposed to be a play on domination, but it didn't really translate anyways. Wonka was the top movie. There was some boffo bo happening. Uh. It had like a solid first weekend, but then it I think just had legs. It feels Christmasy for in some ways, like it just felt like
an appropriate movie to be seeing at Christmas time. I feel like.
People love people love Whimsy, people love musicles.
Like it was like Whimsy the movie seems to be.
I was a fan of Whimsy, but like people enjoy it. Yeah, I can't. I can't hate on that.
Well, you're an intellectual fuck what its whimsy gonna do for you? Aquaman not so baff o bo it sank at the box office.
It better late than never?
Why oh yeah, because that was supposed to come out like three years ago.
It's something I don't know, it's supposed to come out when people still gave a shit about Aquaman. There was there was a brief moment that they had there, and I guess the pandemic fucked that up.
Yeah. The Color Purple did really well, Like was this
the biggest musical Christmas opening since two thousand and nine? Yeah, this is I wonder if they're going to start admitting that movies or musicals and the ads now that two musicals have done well, because as we discussed, like the Color Purple trailer like kind of I think there were some that admitted they were musicals, but like the main one that they put before other movies that I saw where they were just like, this is just a different movie called The Color Purple or Mean Girls, was like
they didn't show any singing.
When I saw the little poster thing, I was like, oh, they remade The Color Purple, okay, sure, Like yeah, you know, like every other movie from the eighties why not except robot jocks. Anyway, boy, here we make robot jocks.
Let's see pink Stanley. Uh did not know what those two words meant together. I thought it was like a character from a animated show that I wasn't familiar with. But there are Stanley Quencher cups that you can get in pink from Starbucks, the exclusively in Starbucks at Target stores, and they are the latest, uh you know, consumer good
to make people act badly to one another. Yeah, Like they camp out overnight, you know, build build some community, and then once it comes time to actually acquire the pink Stanley's, uh, people are acting wild.
Yeah.
Here, here's a here's just a little taste of of what it's like out there trying to get a sparkly pink cup.
So these people camped out overnight.
It's a very long or everybody's in their gym jams.
Yeah, it's a longest line and people are just loading the fuck up.
Yeah, like dozens of pink Stanley mugs and then uh.
People jumping over the counter.
Yeah. Yeah, so in this one, people at the front of the line have gotten you guys there after waiting overnight, and then a guy just jumps over over the counter.
Yeah, it's a it's a mess out here. People really like these cups for whatever reason. I guess.
I guess because everybody is like resellers are just yeah, that's the grind. It's just reselling items that have a scarcity attached to them.
People waited in line forever to get. Yeah, that's a bummer, but to cheer us all up. Let's check in with Dwayne the Rock Johnson, who addressed his in and Out flub. I'm sure this is a news story everyone was aware of, but he basically said he like did an Instagram post where it's like it's cheat day, brother, I'm gonna get like so much in and out Burger and this is my first ever eating first time ever eating in and out.
And then people pointed out like he's had videos in the past where he's eating in and out or like been to in and out and he he he bought in and out for somebody. But I just like there's this weird thing where like a a type of video, like a genre of video that he releases regularly. It's kind of like the main thing he's known for is like his cheat day videos where he's like, all, ah, man, look at this stack of pancakes as big as the
table that they sit on. Uh, and just so much all McDonald like a hey loft of McDonald's French fries. Just I'm gonna I'm gonna eat them all so bad. I better turn this video off while I eat them. No, no, no, like it. He ends the video before he eats them so often the.
Camera is just facing the ceiling.
Pulls a clean fish skeleton from his mouth. Uh. But it I just I think a lot of people have long suspected that he's lying about his cheat day meals and like not actually eating them just to like seem like one of the people. Uh, which is.
Do you think he actually does have a cheat day?
Probably, and it probably involves, like I don't think it's in and out though ants on a log or something like that. You know, it's like, oh no, like you know, ants on a log like celery with peanut butter and raisin.
No, I don't know what that is.
No.
I eat mostly liquid cheese, okay, yeah, and cookies and pizza and stuff like that.
Yeah. Yeah, Now this is a white person delicacy. Ants on a three ingredients, can't fuck it? Up the but yeah, it's also very popular with young children. It's an easy way to get children to eat vegetables. But yeah, like bodybuilders are always like, you know, raisins or junk food.
So that's that's my nasty little secret I have. Yeah, exactly, So I think I think that's probably what his cheat day actually looks like, is like, uh, like five raisins and he pays his personal trainer to like chew up peanuts for.
Him, feed it to him like a baby bird.
Yeah, it's actually a lot of benefits to him baby birding me. Anyways, those are those are the big ones. Those are the big stories you missed over the break.
Or at least the ones we could think of.
That's we were sitting here being like, something definitely happened.
Something happened, we know it.
No, what was that thing? Yeah, I'm sure plenty of terrible stuff happened, But these are the ones that we talked about today. And we are back tomorrow with a whole ass episode of the show. Brian. Where can people find you? Follow you all?
Oh oh oh, actually there's a new new development.
They can find you and follow you.
I updated my Twitter.
Well just in time for that platform to start popping off.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, because my takes are going to be so fucking spicy, and I want you to get my mentions and just get my min cheese and get.
Real in there because I'm going to check him at all.
So it's Brian the Editor on Twitter or whatever it wants to call it.
So that's good branding. When you were saying Brian, I'm Brian the Editor earlier, Yeah, well look at that.
Comes full circle. So yeah, you can find me there not paying attention.
And be as nasty as you like, be as nasty as you want to be.
Yeah, all right, those are some of the things that are trending back tomorrow with the whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we'll talk to you tomorrow.
Bye bye,