Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of The trender Bolts. Yeah, the new Marvel one is that they do bom boom boom boom boom boom.
Is that that sucked? Is? I don't even know? I was like, that's when Florence Pugh is in. You bet right?
Yeah, well you bet it's Florence Peugh there.
I am just like, I don't know. I don't even know. I don't even who are these people? Man? Are they cool? Are we fucking with them?
Julia Louis Dreyfus, Julie Louis Dreyfus isn't Thunderbolts this one?
Like, I've heard that's like the best thing.
It's just like they they kind of did the thing that's undeniable about the early Marvel movies where you're just like, let's take this person who's always fun on camera, Robert Downey Jr. And just like let them cook. I've heard that's kind of what they did with Julie Louis Dreyfus, and uh it works.
I've heard it works. Hell yeah bro oh and Jered Zwanathan from my favorite movie Blockers, Oh really love to see it. Directed by Jake Shryer. Huh who that to shrier joint?
I don't know who's that even I'm a director, producer of Beef, director of Dave. Okause they're all so, I mean, pretty pretty healthy, run on TV. Not gonna lie you hope.
That's the thing that doesn't like you know what happens. They take like direct small like nice indie directors and people who worked on smaller stuff, and they're like, yeah, man, now you're gonna do this big tent pole movie. Now you're gonna do everything we say. Yeah, And if you fuck it up, you're gonna Oh my god, oh my god.
I kind of hope you fuck it up, man, I hope you fuck it up.
Just look. Yeah, yeah, I'm fun sick. I haven't talked to my fucking twin brother in fourteen fucking years because he made fun of me during a fantasy football draft.
It's a cool town, Hollywood, Yeah, cool town, cool industry. Anyways, maybe that's gonna be fun. Maybe that's gonna, you know, be number one at the box office, although it is facing some competition from the Alec Baldwin film Rust. You may have heard of this movie that's dropping this weekend. Oh fuck, yeah, dude, So this is the one where Alec Baldwin accidentally killed a human being, cinematographer Helena Hutchinson.
And it's dropping in theaters and on video demand tomorrow, and like, first of all, like, how the fuck you even promote this movie? You can't really the rollout has been, according to the New York Times, decidedly muted.
Decided ye. So the first.
Screening was at a little known Polish cinematography festival.
Oh no, cinematography, fucking fut you killed the fucking cinematographer? Yes, what the okay? And what did they They loved They were doing backflips because they loved it so much.
Well so, there was an audible gasp when they realized that the central event in the movie that the movie is about is an accidental shooting. It's about an accent, It's about an accidental shooting. Its Rust takes place in the eighteen eighties, uh, set in Kansas, and it's about a thirteen year old boy who accidentally kills a rancher and flees the law with his grandfather.
Wow.
The first time a trigger is pulled in Rust, it clicks on an empty barrel. The second leads to a character's accidental death, a spoiler, engendering a full boar gasp from premiere attendees.
Wow, that that's in wild just you know, it's like I get that. They're like, Okay, this like small Polish festival, maybe we can sneak it in, but it's for cinematophy, Like I can't get past that at all. That whoever had decided that was the place are You're going to be around people who have only thought about what happened to this poor cinematographer and how things can be different and then be like afterwards, Alk Baldwin comes out, so what you guys think?
So he hasn't done anything and he hasn't like spoken in relation to it, and the filmmakers are saying that they wanted it release to showcase her final work, and there is a legal settlement with her family where some of the film's earnings go to her husband and son but some Yeah, and also it's only releasing on like one hundred and fifteen screens, so like.
I mean, we're giving her two points on the back end of this thing. It's like, and how close are we to see two point two? I'm sorry point two? Sorry? Point two sorry, I had that back.
Still, let's say two points point two, well two percent of a percentage point two, it's.
Two point ones two point two point when there's a point two. Yeah, that's sorry.
You didn't let me finish.
Jesus christ Man. I'm just like it. I don't know any fascination around this. It's gonna have to be like a morbid curiosity.
Yeah for real.
But I totally get too that you're I mean, I understand on paper the logic of like honoring the final work of this cinematographer, but yeah, I don't know, Like I just just gonna be one of those things, like, dude, I'm not gonna watch the Alec Baldwin shot the Person movie.
Yeah, it's like, I mean, I remember when the Crow came out like that. A lot of people were like, well, this is tight. And also but like there was like a weird eeriness to that one. Also because he likes, well Bruce Lee, Brandon Lee, and then Brandon Lee, like the character in the movie gets gets shot to death and then like comes back to life, like from the dead, and so there's like, I don't know, a weird I had no idea that that was the premise of this movie though, that's fucking about spooky.
It's about a little known photographer who the daghera type camera and he gets accidentally shot by some doofist playing with a pistol.
The director of the director of the film has admitted it's a tough one to market, which seems like an understatement, and has not been doing the best job of hyping the movie. The big takeaways from his promotional interviews have been that he regrets ever writing the movie in the first place.
Oh my God, and haunted.
And that he didn't watch Alec Baldwin's reality show because he said he was busy hitting myself in the face with a frying pan.
Holy shit.
So apparently Baldwin left a good impression on everybody.
Yeah. The reviews have not been super enthusiastic.
The cinematography has described as gorgeous, but the climax is a big gun fight involving Baldwin that one critic called ghoulish. I wonder if they had to like come back and like shoot that like after yeah, yeah, god.
Oh man, that's so fucked up. The director too, that's so wild that he is even like that quote about what he's saying yeah. He said, uh, what is it? Talk about the butterfly effect? I wish I never wrote the damn movie. You think about the chain of events that started that morning of the shooting. Bad decision after bad decision was made.
Oh god, we're not friends, Susa says of Baldwin. We're not enemies, there's no relationship. When asked if he watched the actor's recent cringey, cheerful family reality show on Max The Baldwins, he said, I think I was busy hitting myself in the face with a frying pan that night.
He's like, no, for real, it's kind of I'm kind of like how I'm dealing with this. Yeah, men would rather fight one hundred gorillas than go to therapy or hit yourself in the frying pan. I mean, I think this director, I have a pretty good gun free piece of ip. I think you could maybe start writing on It's called one Gorilla one Yeah, no, no weapons in that.
I mean the sequel might have to involve guns, because I think.
That's really good to go. I'm off that. I'm all in. I'm all in for arming.
The Primates, a documentary about the rust case made by a filmmaker who's a friend of Hutchinson, came out in March on Hulu and was a big hit, and it kind of seems like anyone curious about the incident would write I have just watched that and not actual movie that's supposed to be mediocre and is like fucking haunting and weird. But yeah, what wild story I did. I did watch the trailer. Did you watch the trailer for
the Smashing Machine. It's about like an early UFC guy starring the Rock under a bunch of prosthetics.
I think, oh, yeah, it's funny because I saw like a frame of it. I'm like, that ain't the Rock and I kept him movie. Yeah, yeah, this headline is lying to me.
I know.
I'm like, nah, this ain't the Run and didn't even look like him next But no, I've heard a lot of I mean, I've heard a lot of people talk about it. I'm still fucking shook from the weapons trailer. Yeah I can't, but wait, so this everyone said, they're like, oh, for everybody thought the Rock didn't have range, look at this shit.
Yeah, it feels it feels like it's going to be I don't know, he's putting in a good performance in the trailer, I'll say that, Yeah.
Well hey, here's to him eventually running for president.
Looking completely unrecognizable.
Wow.
And also Emily Blunt is playing She's doing the like Amy Adams and the Fighter thing where it's just like yeah, town eat up.
Yeah, oh man, well oh yeah he does wow. And he got hair. It's got hair.
Does he have hair?
Like, could he have hair? No?
He be bald, bro, he's been balding. Yeah, Like I remember when he had hair back in the day. It was it was looking Michael Keaton in the eighties. Yeah, exactly exactly when you got that he had like a flip flop flip flop hairline at the top Nickelsonian exactly exactly. Job Bluth pre arrested development back end money. That's right, let's take a quick break and we'll be back. And we're back.
We're back, We're back.
Is Mark Kurk over the break you realize that he's playing Mark Kerr?
Yeah, I mean I just know him from like very early ye see shit, yeah.
Yeah, that's what we've talked before.
About.
How like UFC when I first like I used to go to Blockbuster and rent UFC fights that were like five years old. It was like hoist gracie versus like this other guy. Yeah, and uh, the gracies were just basically like bowl constrictors human bowel constrictors that would just like wrap around your leg and the person would be like what is this and then they'd be in a choke hold.
Yeah, owie owie owie owie. Like yeah, watching like because you'd have those guys like tank Abbot in there that were just like truck drivers who like, yeah, all the kinds of guys like me and fifty My boys could definitely beat up probably fifty gorillas one on one and then they all get killed. But like, no skill, just pure beef. And yeah, the the the BJJ, the Brazilian jiu jitsu definitely changed shit pure beef, no skill at it.
Big news, Luigi Mangioni's case is being turned into a stage musical. This is like a new trend that I've been noticing that I don't wear like news stories that we're really excited about and the Internet is really excited about get announced as stage musicals, and then I don't know if, like if anything ever happens, but we have that with the Ai Willy Wonka musical. There's people announced the ray Gun musical yep.
But I feel like they'll it's always like we tell the story or we hear it, and then so it was like and then they said they were going to get sued, so they didn't do it.
So they didn't do it. Yeah, this, I mean, this is obviously a bigger story than Willy Wonka AI and uh the I don't know man y Gun Musical, I don't know.
I mean I guess it did. Did it when our? Yeah it was our? Was it our? It was Luis Manzoni snuck in it the Last sex snug in the Last Stories of the Year, Story of the Year twenty twenty four. I wonder if it's just a cheap way, because obviously the process of writing a script and selling it to like a for traditional media like film or television is so such a long process that you can be like, dude, I have a stage, I can write some fuck, I can get chat gpt to do a Rymey song about offing a CEO.
Yeah, I mean they were going to do it in San Francisco, so it's not like it was going straight to Broadway or anything in the in this plan, But.
Dude, that was a fucking move like the Luigi Manngioni musical on Broadway.
Man, Yeah, that would be like two blocks from where the case is pretty dire. Prosecutors that have been pressured by the White House to seek the death penalty and formally filed notice with the court Thursday. They plan to seek the death penalty.
Very normal, Very normal.
He played not guilty on Friday. But you know, it is the ultimate crime in the face of like our current Yeah, you know, organizing principle of civilization, you know, for do.
Not hold a CEO of a publicly traded company or a CEO of a corporation into account for any of the knock on effects of their greed in society? Does you can't. They're just they're just doing their job. Yeah, that really is like the new Nazi shit. I feel like it's like we're giving the same excuses to like CEOs and being like they're just I mean, they're just
doing their job. Yeah, Like that's just it is. I Mean it's a tough to just doing their job of basically not giving a fuck if people live or die based on.
The they have children, Okay they have you know, they're just doing what they can. The I was just following orders sent to me by the market. That's basically where we're at.
Yeah, hey, don't hate me, hate the market, baby.
That's right, the disembodied borg market that tells us everything that is true. And just uh, there's RFK Junior has been on one. This guy, I mean, uh, he video called into a town hall. Uh that was the saddest, weirdest town hall. Did you see this video too?
I saw a screen cap of that panel and I said, I'm I have I got a lot of tables, man, Yeah, essentially right now, the four person.
Panel, three of which were Chris Cuomo just looking like staring off into the middle distance like he can't believe what happened. Jane Carville, who was literally looked asleep like was at one point had his head like off to the side like he had just taken like three oxy or something like, was just falling out on the stage, it seemed like. But I think he was just tired. Uh. And Stephen A. Smith for some reason.
Yeah, sure.
And then RFK calling in and claiming that the reason that the Mennonites have remained unvaccinated is because the vaccines contain a lot of aborted fetus debris contain a lot of aborted fetus debris is a direct quote God, they do not.
But absolute dip shitty nonsense. We actually have the most mentally unwell people in the cabinet, like right now, like you just think of everything that's coming, like you Marjorie Taylor Green was like cardinals are being controlled by Satan and like saying that with like like the emphasis, like you really believe that shit. RFK is like, yeah, I don't know if I'm really fucking with germ theory anymore. Like he's like, what the fuck is going on? There's
fetal debris? Yeah, this is uh, I guess this is everything we deserve on There were some like uh, yes, I think there were fetal cells used in the early development of the vaccine, just from a like purely scientific and he made it sound like, yeah, so what they do to get this vaccine is they go to a clinic, take all the fetuses, and then get a vita mix and just blend that shit up and it goes right in your veins.
But I mean, so I'm saying they have the religious right to not do that.
I'm sure the.
Rest of you are cool with it, but yeah, you know, I guess they're weird. It's just like so insidious, like and the way that the mainstream media has like bought into it, Like if he says anything remotely vaccine friendly, they're like the guys come around and then he's just able to say the wildest anti vax propaganda and just like on this panel, nobody says shit as he says that they're just like sitting there regretting their life choices.
Yeah, just every god man, everything he says is like so devoid of any kind of scientific backing. And now fucking hair brain worms is over here just telling us, yeah, man up, up is down fucking just just completely completely abandoned science. Even like I don't even know what to say anymore.
He also gave that big speech last week where he was like, you know, talking about how there's an epidemic, a huge uptick in severe autism. Like people, these are kids who will never be able to play baseball, who can't go to the bathroom.
On assistant, and that's why we all need to put them on.
A list, that's right, so that I can kind of so that I can keep track of them and the like he said that as new research was about to be shared. But I mean, I'm assuming he had access to that found that only mild cases have risen from two thousand to twenty sixteen. Only mild cases. So any uptick is completely consistent with the theory that every doctor seems to support that the reason that there has been any increase in autism is that people are more aware
of it and it's being diagnosed more successfully. And that's what's happening. It's not an epidemic caused by fucking too much fluoride in the water. And it's not an epidemics gay right, right, It's not an epidemic caused by abortion smoothies that are getting injected into our arms via vaccine.
That's not like what maybe RFK to tell himself to stop, like shooting junk or something where he was just like, it's the fetal debris, man, I gotta I gotta kick this fetal debris. Yeah, this is this is all bad. I mean, and you just think about everything that's going to be happening, like with the FDA and our lack of consistency over knowing what's even in food anymore. It's like you didn't really have to fuck with that, you know what I mean? Yeah, here we are.
It's just a lot, a lot of the things that were quietly helping keep things somewhat on the tracks are being completely undermined by this administration. But they do have a solution for that, which is going full Korea and having a state sponsored media that replaced Did you see that the White House now has like their own version of the Drudge Report. Yeah, where it's like white House Wire or something wh wyre and it's like all the same nineteen ninety two web design. Is the Drudge Report.
That there's also a courier font or yeah, yeah.
You can pay attention to this one, not that one.
Yeah, that's sure, I mean do it. Do whatever you can, man like to try and tell people like when shit really starts getting fucked up that yeah, maybe that website will help explain away why.
Yeah, I don't think they're.
Gonna have access to the things that they need.
I think will be I think they might end up being surprised by how few people just leave the Drudge Report to go pay attention to that, right right.
Oh, just one thing I just wanted to point out
because I just love stories about backwards heterosexual man. There's I think hetero Awesome festals trending because this fucking guy who owns a bar in Idaho's holding a two day hetero Awesome Fest at his bar outside the capitol to coincide with Pride Month, and yeah, yeah, yeah, it's going to be happening June twentieth and twenty first, you know, feature live music speakers who quote are on the frontlines defending traditional family values and local food and drink vendors
that don't want to have people patronize their businesses anymore if they go there. Yeah, the festal is more than an event. It's a declaration that faith, family, and freedom are worth protecting. So this guy's done it, I think last year too. But if you guys are in town, hetero Awesome Fests sounds like it's so funny when this shit is just an absolute parody of itself. Yeah, it's like, yeah, what do you call it? Hetero awesome Fest?
Oh yeah, yeah, you know you hack my shit? Man? Damn all right, y'all, this panel is about being straight, is cool?
Right? Some might say awesome? What being a cis? Hit White guys? Hetero Awesome Fest man.
Not enough people know about this thing that has been the default for the past three hundred years in mainstream culture.
This one trick society doesn't want.
To learn, being a straight white guy. All right, Those are some of the things that are trending on this Thursday May. First, we are back tomorrow with the whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get your vaccines while you still can get your flu shots. Don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to y'all tomorrow. Bye bye bye,