What's going on the internet. And welcome to this afternoon edition of the Taco Bell. We're trendermant home. My name is Miles. I'm joined with Brian the editor. Hi Brian, Hi Miles Man. We're here to tell people things are not tense. I know some people think things are tense just because the way we're talking to each other. Things are not tense at all. It's t wendesdy do you even think that? Oh wait, it's not Wednesdays. Damn man, I don't even look. I have this typical this is
the thing. I don't know what day it is. Ever, it's Tuesday, July ninth. Okay, twenty twenty four. Here are the things that are trending. As the title would allude to, there is a new development in the world of Taco Bell. They are they're launching a pop up retirement home for young people and presumably because eating Taco Bell for your whole life will make you prematurely feeble and incontinent, but for those of us that just want to be there
for the vibes, myself included. They're calling it the Canteens like the fucking villages in Florida, and it's available to Taco Bell members or something reward members over the age of twenty one, and there'll be like a you can have a stay. There'll be activities like golf, aerobics, pickleball, and early bird dinners where you can eat your your case ida four thirty.
Yeah, as someone who has briefly been retired or lived as a retired person.
What do you mean by that unemployment?
Uh No, I just lived life real slow on a beach for a year.
You live people, not moss okay?
Uh and uh it's I don't know how people live like that, like.
Rinton meat, the same thing over and over and over and over and over again.
It's wild how quick the monotony sets in. So I'm like, well, you people won't Is there an age cap on this?
No, they're not going to experience it because I imagine you get a bunch of Taco Bell freak out people together. The last thing they're doing is like we should cut in early. They're gonna be like, I'm fucking I'm doing molly at the pickleball court and I got a three layer burrito in my hand. That's what that feels like.
Yeah, eating dinner at like four point thirty like, I've done that, and it's it's tough.
What the fuck do you do with the rest of your doing? But you got to go to bed by seven? But get your ass in bed by saying there's nothing else to do? What are you a fucking tweaker? Because imagine going to bed at seven? I mean, look my grandma when she was like a hundred, she was going to bed at eight.
I get when you're like, you're just but I'm like, there's this hundred.
How do we end.
Up at this culture where the goal is to toil for your entire life and not have any fun and save all your money to when you're old and you can't do shit. Yeah, and then you just post I like, I don't like trying it. I'm like, why do people do this? Why is this the goal? And why is this? Why do people physically.
Found yourself kind of accidentally living in a retirement community.
It's basically it was an accident. It wasn't on purpose, not like flex and you're like, wow, this crypto No, I was still working on But it's just like my life was the energy, yeah, the pace, Yeah, it was very slow, and it was a lot of old people around it's it's.
Like, look, I love all things Taco Bell, and there's something like maybe pressing about this where obviously like everything's going to consolidate into like three companies and like conceivably we would be living in a Taco Bell retirement home.
Well, I mean, we've all seen Demolition Man. We know that franchise, the franchise Wars. We all know about the franchise Wars.
God, that's it's so weird that we're that's probably the thing we're closest to and is the franchise Wars. It's like, of all the of all the movies, I'm like, they had something Marco Brambia bro Yeah, the Shell franchise Wars. Yeah, I get it. Prescient, prescient. Next thing that's trending Disneyland. Now. It turns out that the largest bargaining unit of Disney workers in California. That means everybody custodians, ride operators, you
selling merch whatever. No, that's a different union technically, just so you know, that is a different union. They're actually in the union. They voted to unionize with Actors Equity Association back in the goofy. Also under that bargaining unit, any character, okay, or someone who dances in the parades. Uh huh. Also Donald Duck union eligible huh mini two okay, alright, the whole roster. Like you're like bringing up like ancillary characters,
the Crows from Dumbo. They're like, well, they weren't the best. But what about those racist Beyers? Yeah? Were they racist? Oh? In a song of the song on South, Yeah, splash Mountain. My shorthand for that is just calling it splash Mountain. I have to always remember it's called Song of the South. And I called them the Splash Brothers, this bargaining unit. They announced today that a strike authorization vote is scheduled for Disneyland cast members and the results are expected to
be announced by July twentieth. This is fourteen thousand workers at Disneyland. This is Disneyland, California, Adventure, Downtown Disney, the Disney Hotels. They've been in negotiations since April, asking what, basically what all workers have been asking for since the dawn of capitalism, but especially in our hot union labor
summers of recent memory. Fair wages, you know, fair attendance policy, seniority, increases, safe parks for cast members and guests, that one's a little bit like whoa you're advocating for the yes now is a n like these places need to be safe for the guests too. The guests, well right now, I mean the thing that they've definitely filed unfair labor practices is things like they can't wear like their union pins at work, or they're being intimidated like very normal, you know,
clamping down on workplace unionizing kind of stuff. But this is what the one of the spokespeople from the bargaining committee had said, quote, we won't accept less than what we deserve because we know our value to Disney. The theme parks profits come from our hard work making a
trip to Disneyland a magical experience for guests. By undermining our rights, Disney has only made harder our fight to help our guests and keep our parks safe, which is why we are compelled to take a vote next week on whether to authorize a strike after our contract expired. With this strike authorization vote, we will ensure Disney hears Disneyland's cast members voices. Damn they I don't think you can hand a little fucking strike that you like that
that that ship runs on fucking cast member labor. So uh yeah, I'd imagine this will be solved quickly. I don't think Disneyland is that gangster with it. I know Disneyland, Disney is a company, is quite cheap, but I guess I don't know. I mean, you're just gonna get a bunch of You're gonna get a bunch of scabs in
to bring the magic. I mean they probably would, but damn, that would be fucking wild to say, like you need an entire hotel staff, you need entire people to run downtown Disney like, and it's not like a factory or something. It's like there's a way to do things, like you can't be like, oh yeah, where'd you work before? It's like, oh I was a scabbin at the John Deere factory. It's like, great, well, you're in charge of doing Rise of the Resistance and launching all the rides safely and that.
Yeah, and ay ruining the magic, which is I assume a skill.
Well, they just grimmed to think of like how expensive Disneyland is and how much people still like covet Like the Disneyland Fan only trip is sort of like the place, like the way to spend all of your hard earned money and then just having that with the backdrop of this, like this kind of unfair labor shit is very American. So again, much success to the Disney Workers Rising Bargaining Committee. I hope you get what you are owed and you get a fair contract. All right, let's take a break.
We'll come right back to talk about some other stuff right after this, and we're back NASA. I want to talk about NASA. We're going to talk about Gladiator too. Don't worry, Brian, we are going to talk about Gladiator the trailer. But I did want to talk about this because I know you're you're a man of science. You
like science stuff, and I do too. I like space stuff, and I don't know if you remember, like a little over a year ago, NASA was like, we are looking for people to pretend they're on Mars for a fucking years straight, no contact. You are in this fucking simulated Mars base because we need to understand what will happen to the human brain, the human body with certain effects. So it was called the Crew Health and Performance Exploration Analog. It just ended and this was where four crew members.
I believe it's an engineer, an emergency room doctor, a nurse, and I believe another chief scientist. I believe I may have messed up one of those roles. Anyway. They live in a quote three D printed habitat with a twelve hundred square foot Mars like sandbox where they'll perform simulated missions. It's the longest analog that NASA has ever attempted. I was like, okay, but like, it's not space like, so
you're not going to get that part. And then as I read more about it, I understand what they're saying. They needed. NASA basically wanted to learn how to establish possible conditions for future Mars operations and also, wait, where
is the quote I was looking for? Also investigate how factors like die it available to astronauts might affect their immune systems, and how isolation might affect their health as well, and controlling the control of the crew's diets, environment and activities, the research team can understand how all these different factors affect each other. I turned, it didn't end with them killing each other?
So where did they Where did they they had to simulate a barren wasteland?
Where did they Where did this experiment take place?
Oh?
And in Houston Texas.
Baby, Oh that makes that great space center.
Well they're not even outside though. If you look like that, that barren wasteland of Mars is like a completely controlled tented with like printed on graphics to give you the feeling of Mars or someone's weird apartment with a lot of sand on the floor. It's really into a Mars aesthetic.
Just somebody somebody who has like seven cats, and they just don't know how to keep that shit clean.
Literally literally, maamn, bro it's fishy and here what the fuck is going on? But yeah, they it ended. It sounded like it was great. Uh. The doctor that was part of the mission said that flew by fast. Another one of the participants who was like the scientist said, it's like, wow, just hello quote, it's actually just so wonderful to be able to say hello to you all.
So they came out all right. The thing I didn't know was that, like the other part is that to simulate it, their only contact with the outside world was through like a twenty two minute delayed like comms unit, which makes sense because that's how long it would take
to transmit the messages. But I was like, oh, that's do you have a conversation then like, what's the if you just probably have to get it all out in one go and then wait, it's probably more like email like because you can't just be like.
Yes up, yeah, you can't just be flipp it with your nothing with you nothing chilling on Mars.
I'm waiting for them to respond, hopefully they think that's cool. So yeah, I don't have much success to figuring out how to live on Mars. Will it work? I don't know. Yeah, we won't see it.
But fine, I mean, yeah, this is a very important thing that you have to sort of understand and lock down for long term space flight, is are these motherfuckers going to get space madness and kill each other? Yeah, that's a very big concern before you even get to the physics of being.
In space getting shipped there.
It's like, can we lock four people in a tin can and sh it's going to be chill?
But it's like, isn't it hard? When you know? It's like, bro, if I really wanted to get like, if I was really starting a bug out, they would probably let me out, you know what I mean? Like the missions of failure, They're like, no, you're gonna have to deal with someone's violent outrages because they've they've they've succumbed to the experiment.
It'd be funny if somebody did get space madness in Houston and.
They're just like, they're like, hey, man, sorry, man, just deal with them. Man, that's murders. Everybody with a murdered, everybody with a space ax. Yeah, it becomes like the New Stanford Prison experiment. Yeah, like analog and you're like, dude, that's not dude, we have to stop it after fourteen days. But yeah, cool, Uh would you do something like that? I mean, I love the Moen younger.
Yeah, when I was younger, I might have been interested in something like this. Yeah, but I'm I'm a creature of habit and unless they're gonna let me bring my steam deck and some weed to Mars, like, I'm really not interested.
I mean, like, they have weed on Mars. It's kind of it's kind of booty the weed kind of it sucks, but it's there. Yeah that I Meanwhile, they're like, uh, you know, engineer Brian, we needed you to sort out how to grow crops on Mars, and it looks like you're curing a bunch of cannabis. It's like, yeah, got a pretty good yield, like three pounds off of these plants, so yeah, it would be good for a little bit. She last me a while. Next up Gladiator too, Gladiator
to colon chronic shirtlessness, chronic shirtlessness and screaming. The trailer it's mostly shirtless dudes like that are either bloodied or sweaty's just going aah like with like fucking epic you know, trailer music behind.
And as we know, shirtless dudes sweating and yelling is a draw for dudes, a lot of dudes. Yeah, that's like like the the the beauty standard for men is enforced entirely by men.
Yeah, right, women are like very forgiving, like with looks. Dudes like you better look like joked Maximus mixed with fucking leonitis, dude, or get the fuck out you soy sponge man.
Yeah, so all the ancient Rome, ancient Greek dudes, all the uh you know, like I picture a lot of Joe Rogan fans going to see this.
Oh yeah yeah, I mean look, I'm no Joe Rogan fan, but I'm this looks like a fucking spectacle. It looks like Gladiator with way more money. And there were some pretty gigantic battle scenes. This looks like some pretty gigantic battle scenes. I don't think this is gonna be good. But you got Denzel Washington. That's the one thing where my white man be my instrument.
I'm like with Denzel because he's he's gotten to a well what's it? Okay, here's here's a question, Miles. Has Denzel ever acted? Not like Denzel? No, he's like even the category of movie star. Like I know, I know he's a good actor, but when you look at him in movies, he just he's he's never his character, like I don't know the name.
No, it's just the characters that he plays. It's just Denzel Glory. Is Denzel in a Union Civil War outfit? Virtual Denzel like a pilot uniform virtuosity, He's like a cop fighting Russell whoa Russell Crowe virtuosity?
Huh interesting, he's and but but in training day he's a bad, bad cop because he wears a beanie.
He got a little Scully on, so you don't know what he's up to. And he smokes cigarettes. Yeah, so there he is. Gladiator too. Got to see it, should love it? Really, Scott, just go rest On your lourels, man, what are you doing? I honestly, it's funny. I really stopped checking out with really Scott after Gladiator, and.
It's funny like hearing you checking him after Prometheus. That movie was so baffling. Why don't they just make the Aliens come to Earth? Am I the only one waiting for the aliens and alien to come to Earth? I want to see little Xeno mor running around a cul de sac.
That's what kind of made the Drastic World the sequel wild, when that t Rex was busting up San Diego. Yeah, which I'm like.
Dude, they keep making the same, essentially the same movie, and I'm like, dude, you originated this shit, and you're just you just reh old shit.
I mean, I don't get it. That's where everyone's resting on their laurels, as it were. But anyway, Gladiator to Shirtless Boogoloo coming to a theater soon and then finally Texas Spectrum is trending because Spectrum the second I believe, the second largest provider for Internet in the state of Texas. As of this recording, the entire Internet in the state
from Spectrum has gone out like their service has gone out. Yah, you get better internet on Mars actually probably yeah, I mean shit, I'll take a twenty two minute delay, like even if it is something, because it is at least it's delayed, it means it's working. But yeah, this is obviously fallout from Hurricane Barrel. And yeah, I hope, I hope. I mean people have cell phones, so I guess they can kind of do something. They won't be totally bored. A lot of the memes that people are like posting,
they're like it's like, fucking uh, what's that? What's that show? Little House on the Prairie, Like they're like, wow, Texas, right now, everybody's in the in the pre internet world. I think it'll be okay, but you expectrum. God, this is what happens when it's like you only got two fucking companies everywhere you go to do shit.
Yeah, it's pretty it's pretty wild how long this is been allowed to go on.
Yeah, we have this ridiculous duopoly. Like I like that one guy said, I said a doctor's appointment, but they couldn't build me because their spectrum Internet is down. They'll figure that part out. They're likeye, don't worry, We're still going to make sure you pay us that money even though our internet's down. We'll do it on paper. So anyway, those are the things that are trending. Oh but quickly, will you watch Gladiator too? Just on the record.
Uh, that is something I'm gonna skip in the theater and I will snatch it out of the air.
Yep. That one scene though, when they were filling up the coliseum with water and then doing like ship battles that folk, that was cool to my like brain. I was like, dude, there's like a big bathtub and then but people, then they put sharks in it where they get sharks. Don't fucking you don't got to worry about that.
Baby's Gladiator this show. These are Roman sharks that were chilling, And don't worry about what kind of irrigation system they had to flood the fucking base of the coliseum to turn it into some kind of ocean simulator.
Yeah, yeah, I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna just wait on this one, and you're.
Gonna watch it to wait till I text you and I go, bro this ship the first scene it because you know, the first thing's gonna be fucking stupid. It's gonna be some kind it's gonna be an absolute fucking spectacle. Not to again, not that it's the movie's gonna be good, but I'm like, damn, that's a funk. I spent a lot of money.
I will it will admit it does look pretty wild, like there's a.
Lot of shit going on. Like there was a like is there a Maximus exhibit at the museum, because at one point there's like, oh, this is Maximus's ship and it was like mounted on a wall like he was like like Michael Jordan or some shit, like a oh you know what I mean. I was like a little shrine.
Yeah, I know it's that part, but I was really more I was like, oh it zel, Like I just love that. He didn't even attempt a goofy accent. They just gave him a caesar and a couple of earrings and.
He did like a dude from Brooklyn and he just yeah, he sounded like he was like from like he somehow has cigarette. He has like somehow has a cigarette that's even this pre cigarette like modern day cigaret. He's got a lucky strike, Yeah, just one behind his ear. Someone posted like a thing of him and said my Gladiator, and it's pretty much what we are going to see, but one of our great actors. All right, anyway, that's gonna do it for us. We will be back tomorrow
with a brand new episode. Until then, take care of yourselves, take care of each other. You wear a mask at the vaccine. Don't you know about white supremacy? And we'll be back to talk about all kinds of sheet tomorrow later, but