Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of the Royal Trend and Bombs courtesy of lumber Jack.
With a q ah like lumber Jacques Lumber Jacques Q just JQ lumber JQ not Yeah, I know Jacques, I know the word Jock.
I know it, Jack, I mean that's my that's a homegirl, Jacqueline.
Yeah, yeah, that's why. That's that's the other JQ Tom I know Jacqueline.
Okay, okay, uh so shout out to you, Shout out to super producer Brian who when we asked, do you remember we done this short show title muttered none of this matters under his breath.
True true, and that's our daily dose of realism and nihilism.
We love it. I am Jack. That is Miles and I will have to marry pancake.
And uh nothing matters. We believe in nassing people, even not sing to Miles. USA Today QRS magazine. In fact, this is I'm not going to give USA Today credit for this. They're just reprinting the great reporting done in QRS magazine. You know what's so funny, Jack, You were asking, what's QRS magazine the fucking paper of record. USA Today had to fucking typo. It's QSR magazine for quick service restaurant.
They said they had the typo throughout and I was like, that's so weird that it's QRS magazine because QSR is a known thing.
That's quick service restaurant, right.
An industry term, and USA today unaware saving money on the copy editing.
It all happens. It happens to the worst of us, that's right.
Anyways, they have a report on what is the fastest fast food chains drive through?
Wait, like, who's getting you in and out? Who's getting you in and out the drive through? Uh?
Huh uh?
And and you'll never guess who's number one? Baby with a bullet one of our faves.
Oh no really yeah.
To co Bell, to Cobell, Oh who'd have thought? I mean, man, the people at my local. This shit is coming out. Yeah, even when I do, even when I do the custom shit, yeah is there?
Like how far behind are the others?
There?
So two hundred and seventy eight point eight four seconds, Like the specificity is great that that's what they averaged. They went through loads of drive throughs. One hundred and twenty five orders completed during breakfast hours, five hundred and twenty nine during lunch, one hundred and seventy four during the afternoon, six hundred during dinner. And yeah, so so they went, they went in. It was from June of last year to July or June to July of this year.
And yeah, so undred seventy eight point eight four seconds too in second place, Carls Junior three hundred and three point seventy four seconds, KFC also at three hundred and three seconds, just right there and then coming in last one does not surprise me, But the second to last does surprise me. So all the way back at four hundred and thirty six seconds, Chick fil A, Yeah, Chick.
Fil always at the bottom.
Of course, they're always at the bottom. I feel like they're doing it willfully, like they like having a little line there to show you that even though they.
Have like so many people out like preempting you with the fucking order iPad and the shit.
Yeah, they they they take their sweet ass time.
McDonald's. The second to last four hundred and thirteen seconds.
Yeah, that surprises me better.
I feel like I've had.
Quick maybe maybe I order like kind of very standard menu items for McDonald.
No, you don't jack you ask for so many filet of fish sandwiches, or like the breakfast burrito I've ordered with you, You're always you're always organ and stuff they don't have ready, have you have you had those since you were a kid? No, have you ever liked the little breakfast pekitos? I think whatever I had there? Yeah, yeah, whatever, it's like in a flower tortilla, not ever never. Why would you get that at mcdonald' unless they were out
of every other breakfast sandwich. I think I did it to hurt myself and remind me that there are better things out there than that. But yeah, Taco Bell just fucking killing it.
Yeah, like way out front.
Well, good to know we're on the right side of that one.
Jack twenty five seconds out in front of the second place, and like a significant like you know, almost two hundred seconds in front of Chick fil a. Like that's a you know, you wing up get Taco Bell every day.
Like we are. That's that's oh hell yeah a lifetime man.
That adds up.
And imagine if I was doing that in one of these other places, I might not ever be able to see my son grow up.
That's right.
It's also it probably like says something bad about like being able to get food out that quickly that I'm just not not to think about.
Yeah, I'm not I'm not gonna think about that at all.
All right, pepper X marks the spot as South Carolina pepper expert scorches his own Guinness Book Heat record.
Oh wow, the guy who made the Carolina Reaper.
He's gone.
This guy gone heavy scientist.
Isn't he just trying to kill people at this point?
Like how it's also wild that Elon Musk paid him to make this?
Is that really no.
Is the hottest fucking pepper out there?
Yeah, but this is you know, just always pushing the furthest edges of technology. I watched an entire episode of a documentary I think we did?
Did we do? Like a streaming on a string?
It was about like the Netflix, right, that was about like like sort of really peculiar things to Yeah, yeah, remember.
The peculiar contests, and one of them was like people eating the hottest pepper.
In the world. Uh huh.
And I just like I have bad memories from watching that. Just my internal like, you know, whatever those mirror neurons are in me are are too strong, and I just like felt like bad. I felt like physically pained watching these people like harm themselves for no real reward, right right, Yeah, I just bummed me out.
Look, I was I was doing stuff on the internet around the time when eating dumb peppers was like a thing you did for clicks.
Yeah, and yeah, I.
Mean shit, I've I've had like the fourth hottest one, and that was like enough to just like fucking bend meat, like just fucking make my stomach caven. Although I did read up before I eat a lot of bananas because I was reading from like competitive eaters whenever they do like eating super spicy stuff to protect their stomachs. First, they eat a lot of bananas because the potassium helps like make things less fucked up for your tum tum and.
Because it's like a slimy food that coach your belly.
Yeah, And just to look at the skullfl units on this shit, right, like fucking a habanero is around one hundred thousand scovil units. The one that he did last time, the Carolina Reaper one point six four million units.
Right, just so you know that was plenty.
By the way, police pepper spray has one point six million scovil units. Fucking bear Spray has two point.
Two million units.
The fucking pepper X two point six nine million units, So it's this shit's spicier than bear spray.
Yeah, it was so one person who is the one of five people who have successfully eaten one of these and I use successfully very loosely. Ed Curry, who is the hot pepper expert who bred the Carolina Reaper and who made Pepperax, is one of five people who did it. And this is his description of the experience. I was feeling the heat for three and a half hours. Then the cramps came. Those cramps are horrible. I was laid out flat on a marble wall for approximately an hour
in the rain, groaning in pain. Apparently he laid out flat on a marble wall. So, like Spider it gives you Spider Man powers, which is greazy, But I love that this is this is his work, and this is like a brag, This is him flexing on people.
Yeah, like, oh yeah, ruined my life. That's how good it is. That's how impressive my work is. It ruined everything. And he's a real he's a real marketing genius. His company is called Pucker, but.
Truly genius a visionary a visionary.
Yeah, the horrifying details from the ground in Gaza continue to come in. Yeah, the body count that is being reported of Palestinian children is you know, far out numbering estimates from the Hamas attack. But the outrage seems to be you know, it's just what we've talked about before. It just seems to be like discounting going on of human lives.
Well, and it's also fucked up that we're reduced to what the what the body count is to be like okay, are we done now, like can that be it?
But we aren't.
And then we're also just seeing like again, like the disparity in how it's being reported just continues to be fucking awful. Like you have you know, some outlets being like, uh, you know there is real is real strikes a hospital like with many dead, and then you have other ones that are just kind of obscuring anything using passive voice and just wanting you to make it feel like, oh yeah that place kind of like blew up, I guess right, or like like local news is like what like the
headline wuld be like Israel denies bombing a hospital. Yeah, yeah, Al Jazeera has you know, says an Israeli airstrike has hit a hospital in Gaza City. But KTLA and like other like US outlets, mainstream outlets are like, uh, Israel denies this. Israel is gonna take take a beat on this.
Yeah.
But and I mean like now like CNN now actually has something more than five hundred. I mean, god, I can't even like read these that again, we're Joe Biden needs to This is very important for Joe Biden. He's going to be in Israel tomorrow and many people are wondering what he is going to do and say, I'd imagine the optics are going to be like we stand by this country. But that sort of like we'll always stand by Israel kind of rhetoric has given the government
there licensed to do fucking anything, it feels like. So I'm very curious how he navigates this, because there's no way he doesn't see the amount of protests that are happening right now all over the United States and the world and not think that that may factor into what is going to happen in November of twenty twenty four.
There has to be But I also wouldn't put it past him to just be like, well, if we just have the media drown out any voices of dissent, then we can manufacture the needed consent to go through with something like this, to support something like this, and maybe
it'll just be a fraction of people. But it's like it's like as people, I think a lot of us are like we see the way the world has been working for the last century, and we're like, this is actually all fucked up, Like everything we have is built on a pile of bodies where we don't fucking give what's due to working people, Like everything's all over the place.
But like the leaders of the you know, the modern world are still very much caught in like this old century way of looking at things, and you're you're starting to see like how the how that friction is manifesting more and more, but it seems like they have no interest in it in like addressing it in any meaningful way.
So I don't know, I would hope that he would say something to you know, that bare minimum toward a ceasefire, let alone moving on to the next part of like what occupying Gaza looks like in the West Bank, but one horrific step at a time, it seems while you know, we just are keep just a NonStop onslaught of like really really tragic headlines. Yeah, all right, let's take a
quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back, and people are walking into public places wearing like meta headsets essentially, which this is different from the Google glasses because they are full on virtual reality headsets.
Yeah.
The thing that they're carrying in is I don't know, it's like augmented reality where it looks like they're just holding inside the augmented reality like they've imaginatively made it. So you're holding an iPad like it doesn't the heads up display is like still on an iPad that you're holding in your hand for some reason.
But I don't know this man, just don't whatever, you know, get get your get your fucking wallet taken out of your pocket because you're too busy with your fucking yeah goggles on. I I thought this was talking about those sunglasses that had the cameras built in, but I didn't know people were talking about.
Full on, full on VR heads shit.
Yeah, just being like this is the future, guys looking like shit, Uh, but yeah, I don't know, fucking bummer. It truly is the Apple one, like I feel like, is when we're gonna really start seeing it if they ever.
Yeah, like, that's that product off the ground because it's got.
Like brand prestige for consumers, you know, like's not out here with some meda quest. I'm out here with my five thousand dollars.
Whatever the fuck it costs. Thing. It's wild. I mean again, I'm not gonna lie.
I do want to see what it's like to watch a movie on those goggles, just to see what that's like. But other than that, there's no way I could ever wear that in public, like a your part of me is like I remember being a kid and I got the when I was running track in high school. I got these noose track spikes that was so proud of, and I fucking like I was kind of being flashy with them at a meat somebody straight up took fucking
jack that shit when I was off your feet. Oh no, no, no, I had him off like after a race and I had the like and I have my back turn and somebody came through and nicked them. And ever since then, I'm like, you know what, you don't really need to be out here flash and shit. Yeah, you know what, I mean, and then with this, like most death says mister fashion, that sty will never last long.
The harder you flash, harder you get flashed on.
There it is all right.
Is there a more terrifying sentence in the English language than Kevin Spacey made a surprise appearance. No, he just showed up at an Oxford lecture and received standing ovation.
I saw.
I saw the headline that was Kevin Spacey received standing ovation at Oxford University on like lecture about cancel culture.
Yeah, so it is a writer and free speech advocate Douglas Murray, who was giving a speech all about the evils of cancel culture, and Kevin Spacey came out and did a five minute scene from Shakespeare's Timon of Athens sadly. Zero scenes from Barry Sonenfeld's Nine Lives unfortunately, which we talked talked about recently as how that career went out, how Barry Sonefeld's career ended as a feature filmmaker.
But yeah, the lecture, I don't know.
This, This seems to be I think we're we're seeing it also with Gaza, where you know the old heads at Ivy League schools are like these these damn children or like the Wall Street Journal had that op ed that was like, don't hire my students because they criticized Israel, And I don't I don't know like all the details of like what the student groups are saying.
It's just interesting to use your power to yes, be like I'm going to an op ed to blunt the future of these people anyways, But it's like, who are the people even fucking throwing this, Like, obviously it can't be like a group of upstanding people if you're like and here to do a fucking monologue is Kevin Spacey, y'all, let's give it up.
The lecture was actually a memory of the late philosopher Sir Roger Scutten, who they believe the organizers of the lecture is a victim of cancel culture, because he was fired from his role as a government housing advisor in twenty nineteen merely for spreading anti Semitic conspiracy theories. Oh he also also yeah, he's he covered a lot of ground here. Actually, he also claimed that Islamophobia had been invented by the Muslim Brotherhood in order to stop discussion
of a major issue. So he was, you know, he was all, you know, covered a lot of ground. And you know, the these people were just Kevin Spacey and his friends at Oxford were just impressed by his ability to you know, it's a shame be a piece of shit.
Sir Roger Scruton could have had a heck of a career working for the US government.
But that's right.
Well, anyways, according to the lecture, the play Timon of Athens is about a guy who is generous to all, but when he falls on hard times, everybody deserts him, which doesn't seem like it's exactly the same as Kevin Spacey's situation. Like in that play, timone is generous and gives away all his money to his friends and when he's broke, none of them will help him, which I don't know, it.
Feels like slightly different.
I can't put my finger on, like how it's different from the racist philosopher or from sexual predator Kevin Spacey, but right, right, it's just like something different.
Yeah, I'm glad they found they found their king. I guess.
Yeah, at Oxford.
Well there's all's there's all kinds of cool stuff happening around the world.
That's right, Well, that is going to do it for us this Tuesday, October seventeenth. We are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to you all tomorrow.
Bye bye,