Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of the Jack Off trend Motion. Uh, or we would have also accepted, Uh jack Off, No, that was that's it.
That one's courtesy of mine.
I thought he'd give me three options, but he just wrote the same one over and over again. Uh.
That one's courtesy of on the discord.
My name is Jack and I'm thrilled to be joined by super producer Brian the Editor.
Well that was that was long. That was a long yell. Yes, it's me Brian the Editor. I'm here because Miles is not.
In my mic. Sounds nice.
Welcome back to the show. It's great to have you as always. Thank you, Thank you Maniche for the short show title. Sorry to have butchered it.
Let's see.
Yes, Miles is out on assignment. Uh, and we are here checking out the trends. And what a batch of trends we have for the listeners today. Brian, we got King Charles's first official portrait since the coronation. We've all been waiting on the edge of our seats.
Uh.
What what's the first official portrait going to be?
Like? It's going to give heavy ghostbusters two vibes, which I was not expecting.
I wonder was this like a big event Back in the day, they were like, all when somebody was coronated, they were like, oh man, you see the new coronation portrait just dropped.
Wow.
Yeah, it had to be like a big deal back then when you know, there was no like TV or TikTok or yeah that stuff. But yeah, so the painting is bathed swapped in.
Right, cut that so it's either extremely pink or extremely red, and we honestly couldn't determine which, like you to producer, justin both thought it was bathed in red, which would be very sinister, right for a you know, the head of an empire that has been built on bones and blood, and also funny for somebody who was you know, flirtatiously telling his mistress that he wanted to be your tampon.
But I see pink for some reason.
I mean it is a lighter shade of like okay, like if I'm not saying the painting was actually painted in blood, because obviously it would have like a much you know, in blood dries, it has a much darker hue. It's more brown. Yeah, right, I'm thinking like this is this is like Evan D's horror movie Blood.
Yes, seventies, like The Wild Bunch Blow or like the Day of.
Day of the Dead or Donna the Dead where it's like the blood is just a little too vibrant.
Yeah, of a hue and.
Which I thought I thought of that. Yeah, it's like.
For the ooze from Ghostbusters because but it has this irridescent.
Quality to it. Yeah, that is very.
Look, there's no way to look at this painting without thinking of Vigo the Carpathian.
It's impossible.
If you've seen that movie and you look at this painting, You're you're gonna get chills. The eyes are going to follow you around the room. Right, It's it's a choice, man, I don't know what the.
Fuck this is.
It is definitely a choice.
I do wonder like what if the artist Jonathan Yo like comes out and is like, so, I'm a big GB two fan. I've just always loved that. I thought this guy gives off goes usters too. I doubt that's where it's coming from, but yes, that is the sinister connotation that you could you can detect if if even
if you think of it as pink. But it's interesting, like even the media accounts of the painting are like some headlines are like pretty and pink, and others are like it is like, you know, covered in blood, red and I don't know, it's like the new dress, you know, like different different colors. Yeah, but anyways, zeigang sound off
of the comments what are you see in here? You see him pink, you see in red, but even you are saying it's giving you light red, which I have frequently referred to as a pink.
Okay, look smart guy, there's you know, let's move on.
It does totally change the meaning of the painting because, like if you ever read the letters that he has written two people, he thinks of himself as like I'm like the eco monarch and like I'm all about gardens and beauty and nature.
He's had a little butterfly on his shoulder.
He does a little butterfly on his shoulder, which.
Is kind of hard to really parse that because of all the blood, But.
There is a monarch butterfly on his shoulder.
Yeah.
His big sausage fingers are front and center, like because everything is red or pink except for his head and his fingies, and his fingies are plump. They did not hide that. I mean, they probably slimmed them down quite a bit, but they still, you know, are notably pretty pretty sausage. They're giving a full serving of sausage.
Yeah, they really captured his his dead eyes and his palette complexion perfectly.
Anyways, who gives a shit? I don't, but people are talking about it, and that's what this show is about.
I just keep following me, man, they just keep following me.
The eyes, well, they're bait. They're like deep set inside his head. Maybe they made it like right on the edge of red and like sinister on purpose. I don't know, it'll be interesting.
Uh.
TikTok users are dipping their testicles in soy sauce to taste it. So that's what's going on on TikTok.
Uh.
There there are apparently taste receptors in the testicles, but Brian, wouldn't you know it? And now I look like a full There aren't taste buds, so I you know here, I am h like I think we all have been doing this for for a long time, taste testing our food with our testicles. Uh and lo and behold, it turns out no taste buds, just taste receptors.
I've heard I've heard this before in regards to eat where if you like, rub garlic on your foot, like an hour later, it'll like it'll like somehow go into your bloodstream and then you'll.
Be able to taste it in your mouth. And I'm just like, why, garlic is amazing. It's an amazing whatever kind of vegetable or fruit it is. Uh yeah, and why would you waste it rubbing on your foot or your testicles. Don't rub garlic on your testicles, everybody.
Yeah, what do you do anything spicy? I would not rubbing your testicles.
This is like what is compelling slash confusing about social media is that like things get flattened out, so your news is right next to a what seems like a trick that people are playing on their little brother liked it online.
A lot of what TikTok seems to be or like weird, like household hecks that require you.
To have like a whole machine shop and all this Google stuff and it serves no purpose and it's weird and off put.
In just the kitchen hacks where it's the person making spaghetti and meatballs on a countertop and it's like Oh no, you're just like being mean to gullible people.
Are You're just dumping a bunch of shit into a sheet pan and putting it in the oven.
I'm like, what, no, like this is? This is clearly a prank. Yeah.
Yeah, And as has been canonically established by Marcel Argueyo on this show, if anyone was going to know whether your balls could taste and sense anything, it would be old smelly balls, O'Brien. And I'm not getting anything. Maybe I'm just super used to the whatever is happening down there, but yeah, no, I think the lights are off down there in terms of taste buds.
Oh okay, people, please stop trying things you see on TikTok. Yeah right, all.
Right, let's take a quick break and then we're gonna come back and talk about why the news cycle is broken.
We'll be right back, and we're back now.
He's the host of the show.
Fuck, all right, take it away?
Uh what do we get? What we get?
What else? What else?
All right?
Do my job? What else? What else?
Let me tell you you don't want you don't want Jack's job. He has to like pay attention and know what's happening next and stuff.
And then say what else? What else?
Yeah, it's hard all right?
So Chuck E Cheese's animatronic band, This is a little quiz for GDZ listeners. I'm gonna start the story. You tell me if you notice anything. Chuck E Cheese's animatronic band is dead. There are a lot of headlines this week about how Chuck E Cheese is acting it's animatronic band, including a write up in Billboard in the music news category as if this is like a real group that's being youzed like putting.
Get This isn't the banana splits, like come on?
It's all stems from a New York Times report that outlines how Chuck E Cheese is getting rid of munches make Believe banned at all but two of their four hundred US locations. Instead, they're going to focus on more screens, digital dance floors and trampoline gym's digital dance floors. Isn't that just like the dance dance revolution games like.
The still four hundred Chuck E Cheeses in the United States.
Yeah, this is the thing that this is like a thing that you you see the world again with new eyes when you become a parent and in some cases that is a good thing, and you're like, oh, well, I see like the wonder of nature. I'm like seeing everything again like through their eyes. And the other thing you realize is that Chuck E Cheese is thriving.
Private equity would have.
Would have come through fucked them up.
Yeah, it just seems like one of those legacy kind of.
Brands that So what happened with Chuck E Cheese is as arcades were dying everywhere, Chuck E Cheese was still left over and had some arcade games and just like slowly expanded out until now they are just like basically the most common arcade.
It's them and Dave and Busters. Yeah, the upscale discerning manchild.
Yes exactly, So no more ballpits. It's all just a video game arcade essentially, with like the rotting husks of the munch As Make Believe band up there in like
most locations, the animatronic band is still up there. I have had some of our kids birthday parties at a Chuck E Cheese at one of them, at least, I think they tried to like make the band like still happen and be like all right, everybody, get your hands together, like get excited because it's about to go down holy shit, like hype manning up this animatronic band and then it's just like it's just three animatronics. Yeah yeah, just like
dying a slow death like up up on stage anyways. Uh. Now, no more bands, just screens, digital dance floors, trampoline gyms, which presumably it's just easier to clean puke off of those things than a forty year old rat robot.
Yeah, or a ballpit, like how you I've never understood how you clean cuke out of a ball pit.
They didn't either, That's why they're no more ballpit those are gone.
Yeah, that was they were like, we get these the.
Fuck out of here. However, so this is where it gets a little weird. We've like covered this story every two years, like since the show has been in existence.
Mm hmm, that's true.
Like last fall we got this exact same story, only then the band was only only being left in one location. And then back in twenty seventeen when the show first started, it was reported that Chuck E. Cheese was ditching the band, Like it's.
Just maybe they get a bump every time, must say a bump, like getting rid of the band, people pull up to pay respects and they get a little more life. And I know it worked for Jamie Loftus, right, wasn't kind of like she's like.
Wait what she so she had Jamie has been trying to manage the band for a long time and it hasn't quite worked out, unfortunately.
But it's just like.
I've always suspected that like part of the news cycle is like fueled by marketing companies just being like this this will I'm sorry, actually will actually be good for your bottom line. And yeah, they're just like, hey, we're going to we're going to reissue the they're killing the band thing, Like no downside for them on the one and they get to be like, now we're doubling down on these fun things and like getting rid of this thing you're nostalgic for, so hurry up and like come out and see it.
Before it goes away.
Or maybe they just like keep tearfully changing their minds at the last minute because they really do believe it's a real band. It's hard to tell what's happening here. Whichever it is, we're suckers because we just keep covering it.
Yeah, it's it's woefully effective drag.
Yeah, this is no other way to describe it is woefully effective.
Yeah, all right, and then we wanted to talk about there's some good horror coming our way, maybe just a couple of trailers then from horror nepo Babies that I'm always the first to you know, admit, sometimes nepotism works, and there's just I don't know. These two trailers, one from M Night Shyamalan's Daughter is Ishana and another from
u Osgod Perkins Anthony Perkins's son. So Anthony Perkins of Psycho fame, his son has like a you know, this is not his first film, and you've seen you've seen some of his past films.
Right, Yeah, The black Coat's Daughter was like a sort of gothic horror slow burn kind of kind of film he did a few years ago. He's got a few films under his belt and they've been received well.
And he's got it like, he's got a style. He's got a style.
He seems like he's a talented writer and director. And yeah, this trailer.
Was this trailer.
His film is called Long Legs, and yeah, I just suggest people go check it out. It's I don't know there's just there's some good writing, like it keeps cutting to just like text with like really creepy sound design in the middle of these like brief glimpses of horrifying images. Is there's a neutral mask, which I'm always a sucker for some newte mask, and uh, there's just horrifying things happening in all corners of the universe of this movie.
And it's it's also it's I'm not a fan of trailers because I find that they tend to give too much away, just the cycle that they have to keep. You know, you get a teaser and then you get like five fucking four minute trailers after that, and it kind of like ruins the movie.
But this, this is a trailer.
I would recommend people watch because it doesn't really it gives you just enough to be intrigued because I'm like, I have no idea what this is about, but the vibes are palpable and I want to I want to see what happens next.
So that is that is an effective trailer to me.
Yeah, this one Twitter person who got to see it said absolutely rancid, cursed vibes that had me scared to enter my dark hotel room. They also said it's a contemporary silence of the Lambs, So.
Okay, Yeah, I saw some FBI jackets in the trailer and I was like, yeah, I wonder what that's about.
With like some like FBI looking at a corkboard with like a bunch of imagery up that looks like zodiac symbols. Anyways, the other one is the Watchers from m Night Shamland's Daughter, And this one is, as you termed it, a human menagerie.
I'm a sucker for a human menagerie. Stick some people in a fucking weird box where they don't know where they are.
A person zoo.
Yeah, dude, I love the Human Zoo movie.
Yeah, what are your top like, old boy, I'm assuming.
I just I just love It's to be frank, there's not that many movies that are like that. I just love that as a concept of of being transit. It was I think, I know, I'm more familiar with it from like old sci fi like short stories or like like weird things where it's like or like you know,
there's a few Twilight Zone episodes. There's one I can't remember the name, but there's this couple who are in this deserted town and they can't get out of this town, and they keep they get on a train and the train just takes them in a loop and all this stuff, and at the end you find out that they are in, uh, you know, basically a play set for some large alien creature or something and they're just sort of stuck there
as playthings. And I just I just find that concept equal parts amusing and it can't be horrifying, but usually I find it amusing. Yeah, it's just it's just a fun, fun concept that you don't really see.
Much of these days.
And that's exactly the kind of thing I expect from an m Night production because he loves him some Twilight Zone concept.
I mean, the village is kind of human menagerie, like nobody's.
Really observing, but it, like spoiler alert, the Village like kind of has that sort of like we've captured these people and put them there. Also that don't worry Darling movie has some of that going on, and again spoiler never saw it, but yeah, sixty eight and sixty nine big for this. The end of two thousand and one Space Odyssey and Slaughterhouse five has like passages where they kind of play with that idea.
Yeah, two thousand and one, I can definitely. I never thought of it that way, but yeah, it's definitely that ending is he's he's kind of being kept.
Yeah, yeah, which is going to follow our Sirens song and We're just gonna let you die in a weird hotel hell room from the year two thousand and nine.
Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. But yeah, like the trailer this trailer had. I saw the trailer in the theater this past weekend. I was seeing The Fall Guy, which was not great, but this trailer stuck with me because I had really good sound design, like sort of creature type sounds.
And both of them have good sound design for sure.
Yeah, it just it's stuck with me, and I'm like, Okay, I'm definitely gonna check this out when when it drops.
Sup Producer Justin saw the Long Legs trailer in the theater and he was shaken. So a couple interesting horrors we are O for one in our look at this horror movie trailer. I bet the movie is good. We did that with Backwater, I think is what it was called. It was like a it was a like desert horror, cosmic horror thing.
And low budget found footage type movie.
Yeah, and it had its moments, but it did not pay off in the end and.
Made me think of that movie Back Country where it's a horror movie, except it's like a slasher movie, but the slasher is a bear.
That's fun. Yeah, like Country bear.
Yeah, it's it was great.
You kind of got to see an abusive partner get torn apart by a bear, so that's hell.
Yeah.
All right, Well those are some of the things that are trending on this Wednesday, May fifteenth. We are back tomorrow with a who last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to you all tomorrow.
Bite Bite,