Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of the Daily Zeich. Kurt is the Blaky Heck shout out to you? Tell me I had to do it at my best Shaggy from Scooby Doo voice. How about if I do it in just like a mediocre my mediocrest.
How do you do Shaggy zoinks? Oh? There you go?
Is that is that Shaggy or is that Scooby?
Yeah?
I never.
Flaggy scoob man. Scoop sounded more like a freaking dog.
Yeah. Anyways, it is that time of year when we talk about Scooby Doo. I'm jack That is milesy. It's spooky season. It is the peak, the climax of spooky season.
And I'm sorry, what would your Simpson's Halloween special name be in the credits if yours came out?
Oh you do it?
Jack o' lantern or something?
Yeah, probably jack O'Lantern, although I'd probably try and find something different because that was what kids called me for a long time when I was in elementary school. So jack o' dyan, pack o dying.
Yeah, hack o dying flat, yeah, said Miles Sleigh. Or bile spray.
Bile spray That rules.
Anyway, bile spray spray god, so evocative Halloween name. Yeah, I didn't really, I didn't think too much about it, but that just came to mind.
I know, Well, that's that's why you're the best in the business man.
With puns that no one asked for, Thank you very much.
I demand the people demand them, Miles, I.
Got to hit one of those punning competitions.
Yeah, you'd be good at that.
Yeah.
Well yeah, speaking of what the people demand, the White House celebrated They're Halloween with books and coughing some bile spray from from Joe Biden, hopefully not full bile spray.
He coughed once.
Oh my god, he's dying. He's dying.
I get it, we all get it. But like, let's that's everyone fucking coughs.
So yeah, there's the sign of that that his organs are working, you know, like at this age, at this stage, I'm just I want I want evidence that like everything's it's like when you have to show that you can poop before you leave the hospital, because they just like want to make sure all your all your quote my friend Ryan who wants the bragged to a girl with matter all my parts work.
Yeah, in relation to his digestive system. Just like just generally, all my parts work, but.
Biden all his parts work. The White House Stage is the annual Halloween event on Monday. The theme was Hallo Read, which oh about exactly they brought his desiccated corpse out. No, they it was because doctor Jill Biden, uh yeah, was like a reading specialist with children, and so it was ay. They gave books out with candy, celebrated featured famous literary characters. Yeah,
it's kind of crazy. The famous literary Halloween decorations included a accurate down to the inch recreation of the murdered family from In Cold Blood and a recreation of the beach murder from Camus the Stranger. Oh okay, that's really wild dark stuff. Ye, wild, wacky stuff.
Morrison beloved section for the kids to Yeah.
Right, a lot of the ghosts from uh one hundred years of Solitude, A thousand years what's that book called anyways?
Gabriel Garcia marcuz.
Yeah, but I didn't know how many years of solitude it was because I was a philosophy major. I wasn't an English major. Among the guests, Secretary of State Anthony Blincoln who dressed his kids up like like I had to so our writer JM put this in the dock and I was like, no, this is a joke. Like this, I have to go and see what he actually did. He truly, blinking, truly dressed his kids up like Zelenski and a Ukrainian flag, like.
Truly the fuck out of the fucking thrown city. How like how these kids look tiny?
Yeah, they're like, they really want to be Vladimir Lensky and a Ukrainian flag.
They want to be paw Patrol. Come on, dad, Jesus.
They want to be Sonic, they want to be Mario, they want to be Grogud. They don't want to be the bolstering our like the image of like why we need to send more billions of dollars to Ukraine.
But they don't want to be like a part of your fucking political cartoon man, Like.
Could you imagine though, that house is so rife with propaganda that the kids are just fully into it. They're like, Dad, I want to be President Zelensky, Like you make me so proud.
But yeah, the right really tried to create some kind of controversy, pointing out that Biden first of all, dropped a piece of candy. So this is like it really is interesting, Like they seem to have such a detailed memory of the Trump administration and like anything that people made fun of Trump for, they're like, what about that Biden just dropped a piece of candy? So in your face, because didn't Trump like put put a piece of candy on a kid's head at one point?
There was something where he didn't know what to do with.
The costume candy, Like it was the difference being Donald Trump looked completely lost interacting with children, like versus Biden. Yeah, he's like old grandpa, Like, sure he's gonna he's gonna drop a couple fucking words, yeah, as he tries to fill up the kid's satchels.
But Trump interacting with children by not knowing what to do with the candy and like putting it on top of like a mingion's head or something because the kid didn't have arms, or him talking to the kid and being like, so are you still into Santa Claus? Is that like sort of in your purview, he like used business language or something, right, Like those are two of my favorite things about him, Like it wasn't like those are those are some of his highlights that go along
with him being a complete Nazi piece of shit. But anyways, yeah, holy shit, he dropped a piece of candy. What if the nuclear codes were in there, we'd be we'd be in trouble.
We hide it in the snickers. Yeah yeah.
Well then the coughing, I just like, you know, apparently he was repeatedly.
Coughing into his hand. Yeah. I mean, so many people have either COVID or the Forever cough.
I feel like, yeah, just make more identifiable, can finally relate to Joe Biden because he also has the forever cough.
That's right, all right, let's take a quick break and come back. I want to talk Halloween decorations. I want to talk. I want to kick us off with my my three I'm going to get opinionated here. I'm gonna get spicy here, Miles.
Yeah, I'm looking for.
Three uh three mistakes, three Halloween decoration mistakes. And then I also want to get your input on some that I don't know. I don't know how to feel about them.
Yeah, whatever you want, man, I got my own opinions too, and I think I disagree with one of them.
Oh oh, all right here we go. We'll be right back, and we're back.
We're back.
So I've gone around my neighborhood with a clipboard and a pen and a disapproving look on my face.
M M.
It's one of those pens that clicks, and I'll like click it multiple times.
As I just observe people's.
This is what you went with?
Huh Okay, it's like, why did you click it five times? Could have just clicked at once.
These are I've already told you my favorite Halloween decoration, which is the twelve foot tall home depot which that appears to be flying on broomstip which I happen.
To have shout out geometry and physics. Get a lot of a lot of kids stopping by, very impressed.
These are the ones. These are the one. Yeah, you think you're better than me. These are ones that I feel like I need to stop, or like need to at least be used in better moderation. Okay, the yellow police tape, Yeah, okay, I'm okay with a little yellow police tape. If you've got like a wild murder scene happening on your front lawn, like crow a line of
police tape up for very similitude. We're good. But there are people who like this is their this is the you know color that they paint with his yellow police tape, And that's like their entire concept is like, what if like our whole yard was just like mummified with yellow fucking.
Police right, and what else? Not?
Just that just that man, like, what if like somebody really went wild, must imply that something bad like must have really happened here, but it ends up just looking like a construction site.
Yeah, you know the I think it's also like to your point, it's lazy. Like some people will just like sort of tape off their yard with like one random thing and be like, see now this shit's freaky.
Yeah, when you can, you know, do better, do better.
And also I'm not really into seeing police tape just a general. I could use a different aesthetic that would bring about, you know, a fright within me than see though, there was a person in my neighbor who had l a p D police tape. I don't know where the fuck they got it, but they had the official ship and I remember at one point like they put their stuff up early and people my neighborhood thought something actually happened at the yeah, because they had.
It's also yeah, it's also a functional thing that lets you know something bad has happened. So I don't know, I'm just saying, doesn't it doesn't like look cool, it doesn't. It just like is confusing. I would say in general, you know, if you want to use it in one spot that is like very clearly part of a police of a larger theme or like you're creating a scene, fine, but let yeah, yeah.
I'd say, like do it over your front door and do like blood splat like gore on your door with like you know, X out your door. Like, so just keep it to the on the door. We get it, we get Yeah, more gore on the door. That's all I'm saying.
All Right, this one might be controversial, but Biden pubes the white cotton fake spider web things.
I call it witch hair.
But yeah, whitch hair. Yes, yes, for me, this is the number one offender. It's probably the most common Halloween decoration, and it almost always sucks. I feel like, Okay, like, first of all, I never I never have like my kids stop and say, whoa, look at the fake spider you know, like it doesn't really look that much like spider web, and like it's usually not stretched like the way that it Like sometimes it just looks like they just like took it out of the bag and just
like kind of draped it there. It just it feels overused and doesn't really have the effect that I think people are hoping it will have when they when they put it up. It could be it can be a fine accent, but it shouldn't again, should not be the main show and.
Stretch that shit out.
You can't just have like clumps of it, you know what I mean.
Yeah, this is the one. I love witch hair, Okay, I think because I just like witch hair. Yeah, and for no other reason aside from just I like miss the misnomer of calling fake spider web's witch hair.
I think.
So you're implying that the whole decoration is actually them being like a shed all over your eah.
Yeah, yeah, just like a witch's hair just like blowing off in the breeze. Like what's her face in the craft when she said hair starts falling, It just keeps falling out. But like I think that with the spider webs, to your point, people just get that clump. They just stretch it like as far as their arms go and they're like, yeah, that's good, I'll put them on that, and you're like, no, that fucking looks It's.
Like it's like the fucking police tape. People get lazy.
They think the mere presence of the witch hair makes the shit spooky. You gotta put a little bit effort of effort into it. Another side note, I remember there was a girl on my like high school that was scolding people because they were pointing out that it's hazardous to birds and like nature like to have your trees off thumbed up with that ship.
Yeah, such a pain in the ass to get rid of too, Like you see that shit just like stuck in the trees after the fact.
I don't know, man, just go hard, go hard on the witch hair.
I think it's just more like I've seen someone do it cool, like where it looked like their car, like they had an old car in their driveway and they stretch it out nice so it looked like a fucking giant spider like was fucking up their car. Yeah, but like I'm merely putting it over some shrubs next to your door.
That's fucking lazy.
And I've been guilty of this in the past, and I get it, I get it, I get it. It's just people.
It's intoxicating.
The police tape the witch hair and they think this the mere presence of it is enough.
You've gotta do the work.
Tiny gravestones. This is on Amazon and not the people who buy it, but it's very Most of the gravestones you can buy on Amazon are like, come up to your ship. They're tiny gravestones. They're gravestones for a dollhouse. When you put them out, I'm not mad at you, but you were signaling nothing spooky so much as Amazon got my ass or like a celler on Amazon tricked me into thinking these are gonna be the full, full sized grape.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, I'm with that. Tiny grape zones are.
But what do you think about this styrofoam like like just arms and legs that are meant to be like it used to be, like the witch getting crushed. They just put it in the ground so it looks like arms and legs are coming out like a zombie arm.
I like those. Those are like the new school one.
I think big time.
They love those.
All right, So here's here's some ones. I have questions about it. Okay, do you think snakes are are Halloween decorations?
I feel like snakes are freaky when they're moving, so to see like a fake static snake ye doesn't quite do it for me. But I know people who are very fucking afraid of snakes and just even a rubber one will set them off.
So I don't know, I'm not a fan. I mean, what are we talking about, just like having a pile of fucking snakes everywhere?
Yeah, Like sometimes people have fake snakes involved in their Halloween decorations and I'm like, for no good reason, I'm like, no, snakes aren't aren't spooky. They're scary, but they're not spooky. They don't count.
That's where we're coming from.
Sharks are scary, but like a shark is a shark Halloween decoration? Like that doesn't fit because that's not where get your ass, you know? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I think more Indiana Jones like style, like Jungle Ship.
The ones that are cool are like when people use the projected animation of snakes and they projected onto something so it looks like ship's actually slithering because there's like motion that that I'm down with, Like the idea of moving snakes I think can be spooky, but just random snakes.
Yeah nah, But spiders do make the make the leap, and do do spook me out?
They do belong. Yeah, what do you think about birds?
Like a lot a lot of people are just like these these crows, these black crows are evil.
I'm not a fan of the anti crow propaganda out there. Yeah, and raven They're very intelligent animals, so I want to give them that. Although I did see somebody put them in their tree, like it looked like a full on murder of crows was just chilling, and they had like glowing eyes.
Yeah shit, look yes, okay, not like one random one.
You want to look like a whole fucking set pulled up, like to fight another fucking raven gang or something on your block.
And that I can. I like that. I like that.
Yeah, black cats obviously work for Halloween, But like dogs, I feel like anytime someone's trying to incorporate dogs, that's not working as much for me. Dogs. Yeah, like sometimes they'll have the skeleton dogs. Uh. There was of course the Bye Bye Man who had a heavily featured dog in his Uh right, Bye Man isn't that what that movie was called the horror movie, whereas like if you see him, you're going to like commit a murder in the next Oh.
There is a movie called Bye Bye from I have no idea about this with Faye Dunaway.
Oh is that?
Yeah?
Yeah, Faye Dunaway is.
And carrying moss trinity from the matrix.
Yeah.
Is the detective okay by bimen.
By bymen by Bamon's. Yeah, I guess the Hound of Bakersville is is one of the hounds, but like Hounds of Hell for some reason, have never fully baked Field Bakersfield. Yeah, now Baskerville's Baskerville Bakersfield.
You go the Hounds of Baker's Field.
Yeah, where's a flat brim?
Yeah? For real? Pulls up with the big Fox racing sticker on the back of the pickup.
Yeah. My number one Halloween decoration always impresses me. Uh, fog machine if that house has a fog machine that is actually like working. Oh, Like sometimes there's a fog machine and it's like is that a humidifier? But like when the fog machine is really like you got spitting, Yeah, when that shit is spitting wow? Yeah, come on, come on.
I mean again, I think this all goes back to the thing that I'm saying is motion.
Makes it spooky.
Yes, if it's to static, it's like, I get it, it's like a nice sort of set piece.
But if you have motion, like people who do the little fake flame.
Pots and stuff with a little silk underlit silk that just blows like that, a little bit of fog, a little bit of creepy Crawley projection, that's is very easy and very spooky without having to deal with witch hair, police tape or none of that shit.
That gives me and I we should we should go to market with a hand reaching out of the ground, one of those zombie hands reaching out of the ground that like moves. A little bit like that would make it twenty. It was just like like twitches, twitching, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like it's coming to life. Kill it. Anyway. It's all about the motion, baby, That's what I'm saying, all.
About the motion. Speaking of the motion, I actually don't have a way that this is about the motion.
Are they gonna make you something about Drake.
Taylor Swift Pumpkin. Uh, it's it's the nightmare inducing Taylor Swift Pumpkin. Charlie Brown. I think that's that was what the Halloween special, Peanuts Halloween Special.
Yeah, yeah, this is a viral pumpkin of Taylor's. It actually looks like her, even though her head is not pumpkin shaped.
No, they've made it look they've They've nailed it. I'll give them. I'll give them that.
It is what you would hope for from a Taylor Swift bobblehead, you know, the Taylor Swift bobblehead, like you would want it to look this good. It is a three hundred and ninety nine pound gord that they've painted to look like Taylor Swift and they've nailed it. Past celebrity pumpkins that were less successful were Kanye.
Oh, this is by the same artist, same artist, same person.
They do it every year to raise money for Yeah, breast cancer awareness, breast cancer research.
Got it? Yeah, maga, Kanye.
I don't Yeah, okay, not working for me, not working, not working in general, no.
Need for it, but thank you, thank you for your thank you for your effort.
The Taylor Swift inspired Halloween decorations Halloween costumes are huge this year, going to be huge, have been huge. I am not going to get those or I at least I'm going to need I'm gonna ask my.
Wife, is that a She'll say, yeah, that's the Taylor Swift.
No, right right, nice Taylor Swift costume, unless she is with Travis Kelsey, in which case you have no idea. Yeah, I'm out there.
I mean their jerseys were selling out, they got.
Are selling as Halloween decorations, and I'll throw it away once they break up.
Yeah, exactly.
That's got to.
Be such a boost for the Chiefs. They're like, I don't even who cares how long this relationship lasts, Like we can't even keep the jerseys on the shelf, even if it's one year.
We're doing great. We're doing great.
I know that. I Mean some people are like, is it a distraction for him? But he performs better when she's in the stadium, So that's all I.
That's Oh is that born out in the statistics?
Born out in the statistics? Man? Oh?
Hello, Yeah.
We all just need a fucking Tay in our life to get us to fucking perform at our highest levels.
So good for them, Good for them. Catch that ball, man, catch that ball and block or whatever. Is he a tight end or some shit?
Yes, he's a tight end.
Yeah, catches the ball blocks, the nice big blocks. Love to see that love zoo.
But yeah, like one of these tiktoks with a Kelsey Taylor Swift pairing of costumes is like POV you find the best decorated house for Halloween in the neighborhood. And I don't know what any of the ship means, like Kelsey on a skeleton torso like seemingly kneeling before Taylor Swipt like.
And then those are her exes, Jake from State Farm.
Okay, yeah, fu Jake from State Farm. They were dating for a while.
Jake Jillenhall. That's Jake Jill.
Come on, Jack, you know what I was looking for, Pete because I was confusing Taylor Swift.
Don't admit don't admit it out loud. Don't admit it out Oh my god, my career is over. And that was the last podcast he ever recorded. They've they've covered a lot of controversial topics, but it was when Jack ultimately confused Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift that the show's.
And rightly so. Yeah, and finally, the Takeout has a nice article to make you grateful this Halloween that you live now and not in history, which is a nightmare that we're all waking up from. So they just went through, like, what were the we're the cool candies that people were giving out. First of all, trigger treating didn't really become popular until the nineteen fifties.
I didn't even realize that they were pointing out that, like the phrase first trick or treat first emergeder on nineteen thirty nine, like it, Wow, they can find h But yeah, it wasn't n til the fifties till people started I guess it became a full on national thing apparently.
Yeah, But so the popular Halloween candies in the nineteen twenties orange gum drops, orange jelly beans, orange buttercups, okay, and chips and hard candies, and there were black licorice gum drops and jelly beans and buttons and all possible devices that were ever seen in black candies.
So they kept it on on brand with the black and orange everything.
Yeah, but black black candy.
Now that licorice is fucking disgusting. I'm sorry, I hate that Annis flavor fluh.
Yeah, fifties they kind of like caught it up to candy corn Hershey's kisses, Hershey's miniatures, Jordan Almonds through those covered ones. Yeah, they're like candy. I think they're like a maroon ish candy around the spiced jelly.
Drops of course. Ah. Chocolate Bridge mix.
Is that like that bar mix that like with the chips and the pretzels and all that chip but.
Just covered Bridge mix looks like a bunch of like raisin nuts and ship I think it's just basically chocolate covered nuts and.
Raised chocolate covered trail mix basically. Yeah, yeah, okay, I.
Don't know why it's a bridge again. That feels just like so old school. Someone please tell me why.
Because that's what people.
People just played bridge all day long. I'm bringing my bridge mix for my bridge game.
And then in the sixties we got uh, you know, caught up and people were like, I can't believe the variety of candies available at your local retailer.
Yeah, this one is amazing.
From the article this Chicago Daily Tribune from nineteen sixty two Lois Baker. Never before, it seems to us, have the food stores been stocked with so many varieties and such novel packages of candies, cookies and chewing gum and other goodies. Designed to provide you with simple loot for those little trigger tweeter treaters who will soon be making their Halloween expeditions. This is the part that bums me out.
She highlights what she thinks is the coolest thing. Quote a cellophane bag filled with fourteen miniature boxes of plump.
Sun made raisins. Wow.
Although these we think should really delight the junior set, they also are ideal as snacks at.
Any time of the year for young or old.
No the fuck they are, aren't or are just no what I'm noticing raisins?
Okay, No, raisins as a thing given out at Halloween.
Probably not that.
Maybe maybe that was cool back then. Maybe they still get reasons.
But think back right, My earliest memories of getting sun those miniature sun made raisin boxes were from like elderly neighbors.
Yeah, where they're like this all they're like, oh.
You're gonna fucking your little wig's gonna blow off Einstein when you taste these fucking ships and so.
Uh sorry because so heartbreaking that that's what they thought our reaction was gonna be. Instead, I was like, what the fuck is this old man?
Yeah, like, well we're teeping the fuck out of your house later and then we regret it.
We regret it anyways, Happy Halloween everyone, Happy Hello to you, Miles, to you and all end All, and to all, a spooky night, a good fright so good. Uh that's gonna do it for us. Today, we're back tom with a who last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind yourselves, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to you all tomorrow.
Bye okay, bye bye