The Chris Crofton Dating Simulator 10.11.24

Yeah, what's the power?

Move on?

You know, it's like saying you have a hot mail account on the first date. You know you're not going to say that.

When do you hold onto that? Chris? Usually when do you hold on to it? You got a hot mail? That you got a hot mail?

I don't have a hot mail. Come on now, I'm trying to make it.

Wait, that's not a yeah, so that's that's not a good look. I feel like it's a I don't think so. I don't know.

My brother had a hotmail account and I told him he should change it when he's looking for a job.

Yeah, like you're going to get laughed out of the room.

I'm not kidding Age jackets it. Yeah, I mean it should be a Google. I mean like I think people frown on a God, my glasses are showing the whole damn screen.

All right, hold on a second, that's better. Who cares? I don't need to see anything. I don't need to see anything. You're like, where's this thing headed? Chris? You're facing the wrong way? Chris. Yeah, yeah, face the mic, Hello.

The Internet, and welcome to season three point fifty nine, episode.

Five of Guys Say.

Production of iHeart radio where America's Only Undecided podcast, And yeah, we really.

Like who do you like? You know? Trump just said that Kamala should concede because she was on sixty minutes. Uh huh. I think he has a point. He makes some interesting points. They both make such interesting points. Here's the thing. I like them both so much. I just don't know who to choose. I think, And also for me personally as a biracial, Black and Asian person, his commentary on racial identity was really poignant. Huh. I really had to think what am I? Really? Who am I?

Do?

You see the New York Times headline that talked about how he has always had a passion for genetics instead of it or like, yeah, an interest in genetics or something like that, like Trump talks about race and genes feeling.

A sidehild Yeah, yeah, made it aspiring genesis.

He's a polymath. Who's just you know, this is one of many interests. Anyway, this is a podcast and it's also a place where you take a deep dive into American chair. And it's Friday, October eleventh, twenty twenty four.

Yeah, ten eleven eleven, it's twelve, No, just ten of maybe, well, not this week, but it is National Coming Out Day, It is National Sausage Pizza Day and National or General Pulaski Memorial Day. I remember this happening last time, and I was like, who is General Plaski? And it was a Polish immigrant who was serving in the Continental Army.

Heyal, happy national coming out there to all who are celebrating, Good luck to all who are partaking. Takes a lot more courage than anything I've ever had to do in my life, so truly true. Good All right, my name is Jack O'Brien AKA. You can dance if you want to, you can cream your couch tonight, but if your friends vote fance, then there is a chance you could lose

Guy fucks couches.

Yeah, and we don't notice it that much anymore. So I feel like that means it's just a part of us, Like JD Vance's couch fucking energy is just in our bones and it's just water and that's for goddamn sure. I wonder how we'll handle that on the video episode, just a disembodied voice because we haven't introduced him.

It could just be maybe a bottle of the cold brew or something bottle flapping.

Anyways, I'm thrilled to be joined as always buy my co host, mister Miles Grass.

It's Miles Drag. Her name is mood Dang. I have a dream about her splashing again hose bath in half an hour. Oh how she rocks. I watch her tiktoks. I know she will never see I want her to buite Miami cause she's just a pig me hipo baby. Yeah. Yeah, she's just a pig me hippo baby. Her skin is so very slip o baby. Oh yeah, shout out to she's baby nice. On the discord weatest classic teenage dirt bag, shout out, whaedest, where you've been?

Her skin is so very slippo Yeah, it is exactly. I can't believe nobody had pointed that out to me before. Oh you can tell from the pictures, man, that song was really one of my faves for like a month there. Really from the pictures of me at that time. Anyway, I didn't know.

I didn't know. I didn't know. We are thrilled to be joined in air third seats. Holy shit.

It is a hilarious stand up comedian, actor, musician. You can listen to his podcast colebrew Got Me Like Anywhere, and his book The Advice King Anthology is available now anywhere fine books are sold. The poetry window is open because it's.

Chris motherfucking Craft.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, Look I got I got TV's in my Look at this. Look at these glasses Crofton a little behind the scenes.

Yeah, old blue screen eyes. Good to see you, man, and I see you guys too.

It's been a little while. He used to do one earlier, but I can't remember what happened. I had to go somewhere.

Oh, I know where I had to go.

I had to deliver Robbie Robertson's belongings across the country. I had to cancel because I got a high paying gig to drive from Los Angeles to Nashville, like a U haul full of Robbie Robertson's stuff. Because my friend works for this company that bought you know, he works with a humongous company that bought Robbie Robertson's like likeness and everything, including.

But including like his shoes. Oh wow. So like I was driving with like his clothes, just a ul going across the country country with Bob Dylan's guitarists ship in a vein.

I had a less Paul.

I don't know.

It was like a five thousand dollars. It was probably one of those things that he.

Roberts.

Yeah, I guess band they were kind of a big deal, right, And I was stopping in you know, the middle of New Mexican co And like staying in hotels and the you know, if someone grabbed that guitar, they definitely.

Would not know that it was obviously, they wouldn't know it was his. They just pawned for like fifty.

Bucks, so you tell us.

But yeah, I was anyway, That's that's what I was doing last time. I just got this hot gig driving a U haul.

When it was it was a success.

I got it and got it back and nobody took any of his pants or pants or anything.

Okay, they didn't, and you didn't. You said that like you might have taken some of his pants. Wanted to get in the back.

I wanted to get in the back and like look around, but I had no time. It was like they need to get back, like in the exact amount of time it takes the drive across the country. So I couldn't even get in the back and try on his slacks.

What what's that trip? Like, well, how how long is that? Thirty hours? Twenty nine to thirty hours? I did, so did you do it in two days? Three? I can't drive.

Fifteen hours and I can drive ten hours, and even that's that. It's pretty weird, you know, but I like that. I like that middle of the night driving listening to music you hate, but all of a sudden sounds awesome, you know what I mean? Like like like Party in the USA is the greatest song by Miles Cyrus is.

Like the best all you ever heard?

Because just because you're up for ninety hours and you're.

Like this is pretty good. Why am I so hard on her? Right? You're like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, God party picture you in the morning.

Oh, I'm not kidding, that's my favorite artist. Like you're young again, You're listening to trash music and and smoking cigarettes and considering relapsing. It's like it's great.

Sleep deprivation is very like that's how they often describe it. They're like, okay, so this amount of sleep deprivation is the equivalent of like two drinks, and this amount of sleep deprivation is the equivalent of oh yeah, yeah, they're sleep So no wonder. I was having so much fun in the middle of the night. I was drunk, yeah, exactly.

Oh my god, I didn't know, but I was having so much fun. Yeah, And I listened to songs like you know, Genesis, songs like you know, Invisible Touch or something, which is a really bad.

Song, and I'm like, it's a pretty good song on the radio, listening to like radio.

Through Spotify or the radio, you know whatever. I mean the radio radio. If you're in the middle of like wow, anywhere from like New Mexico to Nashville. Really it seems like.

It's all Bible. I mean it's all there's it's just preachers and songs about and Christian rock and like Christian Chris, it's insane. I spoke to you, well, it's all it's all like it's just you know, just I want to get this right. So Miley Cyrus, you know, got lit a fire under you, but the word of Christ did nothing for you. Well, he's just putting his hand out. You can choose to accept it or not.

It was it's just shake your you know, if it was the straight word of Christ and it wasn't mixed in with maga, maybe maybe I would.

Imagine maybe like and he said unto them, and you're like, wait a second, Yeah, And there's a way we.

Can interpret this passage to mean that he was mad at migrants, right right, right.

So I don't like that.

Like if they were doing straight Christianity, I would like that, sure, Like, you know maybe, but I mean there'd be no market.

You don't want to tune in to.

Be Like here a station that said, like, share your belongings.

What the.

This Christ Jesus has the walk wine virus?

Man, I'm kind of glad they nailed him up. Man, if he was talking this kind of nonsense, you know what I mean? Socialist socialist?

All right, Chris, we're going to get to know you a little bit better. But first we're going to tell the listeners some things we would theoretically be talking about later in the episode were we to ever.

Get to those things.

Yes, okay, and we will endeavor to yeah, of course. Always the LAPD starting to use their robot dog. And there are some media accounts that are just kind of interesting, like one called meat Spot, the LAPDS new crime fighting robot dog.

Oh cool, Yeah he sounds neat. Yeah it fights. Yeah, dear dear god. They always compare him to a Golden Retriever, you know, most friendly. They're like, he's like a seventy pound Golden Retriever if it had a snake for a head, right, anyways, and you couldn't stop and you couldn't stop it. Yeah, you truly just can't stop it.

We will talk about Jamie Kennedy seems to be doing well, so we'll check in with that, all that plenty more. But first, Chris Crofton, we do like to ask our guests, that's you, what what is something from your search history that's revealing about who you are?

Well, you're not gonna believe this, you guys. But this week we're on the Damn TV, so we're on the Internet elevision, so we can we can show the damn we can show the.

Damn things that I that I that I fu with the kids saying.

I also have I also I also have an ak a. But I want to I want to at least shout out the guy who gave me the A K A, and I'll study better last time, because I thought I knew the tune to chick chickaquita abbas.

Is it just chiquita?

I think they say chiquita, don't you know?

Or something?

Anyway, he did a nice A K A for me, and and I can't sing it because I thought I knew, Like if it was the Dancing Queen, I'd be fine. But it's like a deep cut in a way out of the chicki qita and the and but I'll read it because what the heck?

Uh? So this will be a HI.

I'm back on the daily. Ye guys, Jack and Miles. Check out this new old beer bottle some guy found in a cave or so I told. He sent it to me the Zeitgang. Thank you for the applause. It's an honor to hang out with the wet boys. Allow me to take a sip of my colbrew start vibrating into a high dimension. I'm sure that's much better with the with the tune that this man intended. But his name is Omar. I can't even read Omar Ramirez. These glasses are like.

What they're fake. They're fake.

Omar Ramirez, So thank you Omar. Anyway, so yeah, this week we got some videos like I just recently discovered SMU the university, Southern Methodist University has uploaded like somehow gotten their hands on all of the old news reports from the seventies and has uploaded a huge amount of

Or that sounds like a bike.

Well yeah it sounds I mean I I quick clicked on it, like thinking it was a surgical procedure. But it's a turns out they've overhyped it just a bit.

October.

It's just the most cropped and shit like dude, a fingernail transplant in Dallas in nineteen seventy five.

Well, I thought this was gonna be like an operating table, but it turns out it's just a nail salon.

Well let's find out together. Yeah yeah, okay. So for the listeners who are.

Just getting a fingernail transplant, I mean it's you will cost her about dollars for a thumbles nail job on both hands. Some salon ru classified ads to find people whose nails are broken off, who are willing to sell what's broken off for nointy sense to a dollar fifty e their nails. They used to make other people's nails longer and stronger.

We glue, and now they're just yeah, fingernails, fingernails on yeah finger. So it turns out a fingernail transplant might be a little bit of an overstatement.

I mean, yeah, it's.

Yes, but also no, like I assume this was just the invention of like Lee press on nail, but like they are like the thing that they're putting on the tip of somebody's finger looks like yellowed, and it's somebody's worst case scenario for someone's corpse.

It's a corpse's fingernail.

Yeah, they're like they're jack like it's not even these are like clean breaks too. It looks like they were traumatically broken off.

Yeah.

They So the audio on there is kind of bad, which you might expect because it's like a digitized piece of footage that someone probably tried to destroy at some point. But uh, yeah, it ends up there paying like they're paying like a dollar fifty a bag for fingernail clippings and then they're gluing them on people's fingers and calling it a fingernail transplant, charging thirty bucks, and they act

A data entry person, but I don't.

That doesn't make any sense to me. It seems like maybe harder to put in data entry if you had really long nails. But then it's also for personal reasons, which makes me think running him across your lover's back and there are someone else's goddamn fingernails, that's fuck.

Yeah, Like your first is like kind of hot. You know where are they?

Maybe yeah, yeah, yeah, until you truck driver's fingernails.

You imagine that there's some hot I mean, beautiful nails for a truck driver, but I don't know.

One of those nails that they cut to in one of the close ups looked like it was a fingernails or looks like a trucker's.

Yeah, listen, do you have to do you have? Do you guys take whole hands or do I have to just do to get to take the nail?

I want the dollar fifty I need I need a beer. Well, And also is it like a like a red flag if someone pulled up, was just a bag of Lucy's like that, like, yeah, I got fifty bucks working here. I think they're like I might have to call a homicide.

Tote every alcoholic and Dallas was pulling off everybody's fingernails at the bus stop. You know, I mean that is a very that's not good. That's like having a bounty on fingernails right right, and also then you get your anyway, I just couldn't believe that that was what the fingernail transplant.

They were catalytic converters before catalytic converters. Oh, that's funny, just popping them off, like yo, no, we can get fucking cream copper wiring. Yeah.

Also just great room tone of you know, just what everybody's wearing, the hair fait. You get the sense that this was a time when people still got up for like the local news coming through the salon. You know, of course they had the hair was up, the you know, cute outfits were on.

I was. I'm into it. So I just love the just the people that have gathered because it's clear that they're like, you know, the news is gonna come by to talk about my revolutionary finger transplant procedures.

That yeah, talking about our oh are like grave robbing business.

There's more.

There's also a guy in the background who, yeah, I think he's just in it for the cameras. I don't I don't know that that guy's he works like he worked in the law office.

Next story, he just came in.

Yeah, just so just chick.

So that one has bad audio though, So now I would just recommend the whole SMU.

Archive is great. And there's like, wait, one question, Chris. Yes, I'm looking at this YouTube video. It says it was uploaded twenty three hours ago. So you caught this shit like within moments of it hitting the internet.

When you find something, when you find a passion, when you find something you love, you go after it.

If you're me, you just got your alert set up. You're like, listen, you got for me SMU archives.

When I was drunk, I might have let these opportunities slide by.

But now now I'm ready your vigil.

I'm seizing the day.

You're just you're just laying in your bed with your eyes open, and then you just get a notification.

Oh my, someone at Southern Methodist University uploaded another film strip?

Did somebody do you have somebody inside the digitization room who like alerted you know what.

I could I would have something you might want to look at.

I want to I used to think I wanted to date Nicola White Mudlark, but it turns out I want to date the video uploader at Southern Methodist University. Like I need to call them up and find out who this.

Who knows?

That's probably my match?

You mind, though? Amazing?

Well, the whole Yeah, there's like there's also like a film festival called the American or the USA Film Festival, which started in Dallas. I guess as I'm using Dallas, so it's all Dallas related stuff. But there's there's a whole documentary on there, basically a twenty minute interview with a pawn shop owner from.

Like, I'm looking at that. That's amazing. You could show on this joke.

Yeah, yeah, that's great. You know, you can show a little of that if you want it. I don't know how many people are gonna be watching this thing, but you can just find them on you find them on your own, you know.

Yeah, yeah, one of my got it off. Find them.

You can find them on your own. Yeah, there's this thing called YouTube dot com.

Okay, the Internet is truly worldwide.

No, you're not gonna believe this. You can find this on your own. So YouTube dot com put it in the words s m H archive spelled with ach.

H t t P S colon slash slash. I'm just a panel discussion on birth control from the early nineteen seventies. That's gonna shit. I'm upstairs watching for real, and I'm like, all right, I'm just kind of like, where does this go?

Although I'm curious if it'll just be like more progressive than it is now.

Yeah, I'm just more into it for the outfit, that's me. Man. These costumes are good. These costumes are great. What they're not costumes?

Well, because everyone was, because everyone was improving their outfit. They didn't have like an Internet reference. They were just like this looks good. And then they left the house like they had no and then everyone.

Else is like what the hell's that?

They're like, oh no, But if everybody is giving off looks that warrant to what the hell is that? Then nobody is you know, then everyone yeah, like this is just what we look like in this decade, right, are fine?

Yeah?

Where's the instant where's the instant coffee at?

Yeah that's in New York.

I've also just you know, interesting interesting viewing for people like any of these videos you can be like, just ten years ago, this is these are the people who killed John F. Kennedy. They might have this person might have been to see what actually happened.

There's actually an interview with Marguerite Oswald, but it's her talking about recipes. Yeah yeah, Miley loves my Tuna noodle castle.

So so yeah, so there's that, And then I wanted to if you want to show just the opening of now this is my life's mission, like I'm glad you should. Guys should go to the s m U archive and look at like people with giant collars talking about voting

We're just knocking feet, We're in a loop.

We're just wearing very boring clothes exactly. So yeah, so this is like the devil at your heels to me, is like something that God gave us, Like God gave us devils.

You're underrated, are we moving along.

Okay, yeah, sure, if you want underrated under Jackson's.

Let's try and maybe make it conforms. So this would be your SMU archive. It's called the Daily Sieist. Hey, Chris, and I am and I invented it. God damn it, I did. I bet the whole concept of a guest uh smu r card.

Hey, we actually cut those parts out so they don't know that that's an exact accurate.

Impression of me. When when the cameras aren't rolling.

Hey Chris, Yes, what's something you think is underrated?

Thank you?

Host of the Daily Guys, Jack O'Brien. I think that something underrated is the movie Devil at Your Heels. It's a documentary I've mentioned, i think before, on the show many many years.

Ago, maybe early reference to this.

Yes, it's one of my favorite things, and it's it turns out it's almost impossible to make someone watch a documentary. You can tell them about it over, you can tell them about it over. You can make it your life's mission to use every breath in your body to tell people about this movie Devil at your Heels.

And no one will watch it no matter what.

Love that as a truism of that human experience. No matter how much you fucking love a documentary, it is almost impossible to get somebody.

To watch it. I feel like the only way I've done it is to be like, it's gonna fuck you up. There's such a twist in it. I feel like the only time I've gotten people to watch the documentary was that one about like the tickle tournaments. Oh yeah, yeah, it started one way and then goes yeah another way. Every other time I talk about it's true, like they're like, oh yeah, I chuck it out.

Well, what makes me mad is American cinema tech in LA Like, somebody just showed it. They just showed Double at your Heels, the only the only print in the world. They showed it in l A. And like my friend Seth, who I've told about, who's directing a documentary about me ding and it's done, it's done. Ill I'll mention that, well, maybe I'll mention that'll be underrated so or overrated. So overrated will be like not knowing about that documentary or something. So yeah, I see what I did, So I.

Do it every time. Oh so cool, so cool.

So anyway, the table at your Heels is just a great movie about a guy who's who's like a dreamer and he's trying to jump a car over the Saint Lawrence Seaway, which is like a half mile to a mile wide, and he is so damn genuine and earnest that he manages to get the ramp built and he sort of gets it to happen in a roundabout way.

Like, oh my gosh, they'll smoke pipes and talk about it. And I'm so mad, you know.

So Seth finally went and saw it when it was in LA and he's like, that's documentary. It was incredible, and I was like, you know what, fuck you?

Like, I feel like I can't watch this now, Like there's no win win for me at this point.

So I watch it now you're gonna be like, yeah, exactly what you need this show.

This is a perfect vehicle. So let's roll the very beginning. It's just it's it's a Connecticut. It's a Connecticut. It's a I'm from Connecticut. It's a Canadian Broadcasting Company, so it's public domain. It's a great, great resource. Also Canadian Canadian Broadcasting Company posts all their great stuff. I just want to show people the ramp and I feel like then people will be on board.

People will sooner stand Yeah, as soon as do you see when you see? Yeah, do you see how reckless we were? But are you here we go? Sorry?

Got it? No, I didn't know if Sorry, without further ado, the ad the show is the ADU.

Many apologies to you.

Welcome to the Canadian Broadcasting Company podcast.

Yes Here we Go? I love that logo National Film Board of Canada. Okay, wow, that's a poorly built ramp.

Is Now If that doesn't get you interested in watching a documentary, I don't know what to tell you.

I'm sorry, you're trying and jump that body of water with yes on?

What in a Lincoln Continental with wings on it, and he gets pretty damn far, and he gets a lot of experts on board with him. He gets someone to put the wings on the car. He gets this expert guy to say that. He's like, well, I don't know how he can do it, but once he's up there, these wings will work. He can steer in the air. I don't see how he's gonna get up there, but these will work if he does. I mean what he's like,

Wow.

So it's like, also he can't swim? What Ken Carter can't swim? So the guy is getting jump across a fucking river?

Do you know what. I'm sure you've seen the documentary. What is that distance exactly he has to go across? Its supposed to be a half mile mile or something. Yeah, it's impossible.

Well, he's planning on going six hundred miles an hour off the ramp, but he has a jet car, has a jet car, and it does go like two hundred and ninety miles an hour off the ramp. And when it eventually goes, but that's not nearly enough to get to cruising altitude, it turns out, so he never gets But anyway, it's a great it's a and Ken Carter.

Is just awesome.

He he's he's like a grade school dropout or like a high school maybe he says fourth grade, but I think in Canada that meets something else, so I think it's like maybe he dropped out of high school.

I don't know what. He's like, year four or something.

He's really confident and for no reason, he calls himself a healthy specimen when he's broken every bone in his body.

He's just great.

He says, I'm a healthy specimen standing on the threshold of life. He's like forty two and has broken every bone in his body.

I just love.

It's inspirational. All right, here we go, and then.

God, this guy the full goatees curly possibly, and this man is a lovely man.

This guy is a lovely man. He's in But this is he's about to tell you all in me what I'm like. He admits what what the quest for fame is all about? But he doesn't he says something so earth shatteringly honest right here, but it's just amazing anyway.

And I jump, Oh no, no, this is the guy who tries to jump it. And this is Ken. Like lung quest, it has been to try and jump.

Yeah, and he does other I mean he's been also doing stunts along the way, but he wants this big monster stunt because he wants to be the greatest daredevil of all time. And right before this clip, Evil Canevel comes out and checks out. They were gonna broadcast this on Wide World of Sports, but then they decided not to because they thought he was gonna die.

So documentary.

Evil canos documentary and he comes and assesses the jump and talks to Ken, and Ken's thrilled. You know, Ken, he was a relentless human being and he had two personalities that he talks about. He's like, there's Ken Polachak and then there's Ken Carter because his real name is Ken Polachak. He's like, Ken Polachak is the one who says, maybe you shouldn't do this jump, maybe it's not a good idea. But then Carter says, what are you talking about, you pussy.

So it's like a very very there's so much inside you are two wolves, and both of them have pretty normal last names. Yeah, Ken Carter a cooler days.

So funny called Ken Jump or something.

Yeah's is on fame. He said, this is him.

Yeah, he's gonna talk about why he jumps. And it turns out this is why you do stand up, why you play music, why you I mean, it's just amazing.

Some work harder at something, Some sacrifices are a little more than others, so therefore they deserve more. You know, if it's money, if it's glory, no matter what it may be. I always said when I first started, I always I said it's money. Years and years went by, I knew, I knew that wasn't it. I then begin it's challenge. It's it's all a challenge. It's a challenge, and it's a starvation for popularity is what it is.

You've just been liked by three more people in high school.

I love it, you know, I just love it. And he throws that in you always like, at first I thought it was money, you know, yeah, And then then then I thought it was the challenge.

But then I realized that ain't and that real it's challenge and a starvation for popularity.

Moving along. I just love that.

I want to start doing that everything I do. When I get if I ever get interviewed about every anything, I'm just gonna be like, listen. It's a starvation for popularity primary. I also like to paint, Like, yeah, I like to paint. Van interview with Van Goh, yeah.

I like to paint.

But I also I'm also starved and popularity.

Fucking dying over here, man. And he liked me already.

Yeah, So that just was like, we're amazingly honest, right right right. He's an endearing guy because.

Invested, and I'm like, I just want to go to the part where he jumps the fucking car. But you know it's so.

Yeah, yeah, it's like the there's a corporate guy who comes in and tries to make him jump when the ram's not ready amazing, and he's like, I don't want to die, you know. He's like, I don't want to die. The rams not ready, and he's like, yeah it is. I think it's going to smooth out once you get up to speed, and once you get.

Up to speed, smooth out.

And this guy who says it's going to smooth out, who is trying to kill Ken Carter because the money men are like, get him to fucking jump the car.

We got film rolling. This is costing his money because.

There's a production crew to shoot it.

Yea.

And they were from Hollywood for real, they were like came in from Hollywood. They kept saying in the documentary, these Hollywood guys, and they were like, the Hollywood guys were like, listen, man, we're burning daylight.

Get him to jump the car.

And so there's all this intrigue and then there's just like yeah, things like that, like and there's also tons of people misusing metaphors and old sayings and stuff like that guy right before you know, he'll say like they were like you think Ken can do this, and he's like, well, a man's got to bite off a hunk and fight it till he can.

You know, Like he uses a lot of dot dot dot. There's a ton of like there's a ton of misused saying you gotta fight that hunky bit off. Yeah.

I just realized we haven't taken a break. We gotta take a break. We'll come back.

We'll keep talking about the devil at your heels. We'll be right back, and we're back.

We're back The other thing I like about this is that this is a glimpse into what history was like like but before the invention of like film, it was basically a quest for flight, with people doing the stupidest shit you could possibly imagine to just like hurl themselves into the sky. Like that was just a man's eternal quest.

To talk about.

Like the pilots were like national heroes, And it's just funny that, like seventy years on, this guy's still like what if I like made up a new way?

Yeah, what if I can fly away continental?

But it's not? Then how much would I get laid? Yeah? What do you do? I'm a pilot? Oh yeah, me too.

I'm like really right brothers, except like with a car right here.

Yeah, take Henry Ford and the Right Brothers take out the Nazi stuff and you got me.

Yeah, So he he ends up. He ended up years later, not very many years later. What am I saying years later? Like five years later? Because this was shot between seventy eight and eighty I think it. Maybe it came out in eighty or maybe it was shot in over four or five years. Maybe it was shot from like seventy six to eighty. I can't remember, but it's was shot over a long period and it was worth the wait because it got weirder and weirder. And that's why I

D were you talking about this on Coldrew got me.

Like, I've been talking about this, well, almost exclusively in just nine years.

I'm just looking at the comments section and the second comment is celebrity Chris Crofton told me to watch this. I'm doing so despite it being free. Wait what is this? Is this on We're not live? Are we? No? No, I'm looking at the comment section of the YouTube

No?

video right here. Oh my, I guess so, yeah, I guess your fucking influence is your potent dude.

Ooh, I've got a serious reach in the obscure documentary comment world.

Yeah, a lot of people saying I'm only six minutes in and I'm feeling like this could be the greatest documentary of all time? Is it is? I think I have to really Yeah, as much as I want to like and you know him to the end, I'm like, yeah, one of the documentary.

Watch guess what, Jack, you know what.

Miles isn't going to watch it. He's not gonna watch it. No, I'm not gonna watch it. I'm gonna say. And this is proof positive. This is what happens.

What happens people says documentary exactly what.

People who are not going to watch it watch it now.

This is exactly what people who do not watch it say.

I fuck it.

Yeah, you're just often roll of documentary consumption.

They have to watch it.

I just imagine you're doing this on a date. You're like, oh, it's great, and they go, oh, yeah, I gotta check it out. Yeah, he's just fucking saying that you're not gonna just like all the other ones, you fucking piece of ship.

I tone it down on dates. Yes, this is a lot like a date, but I tone that.

I don't. I don't get so aggressive about like.

You're not gonna watch it this.

Yeah, we're gonna this episode the crift crofton Dating Simulator.

Yeah, it's sort of like it's just like a first date, except I don't react quite as badly about like you're not gonna watch it, You're not gonna watch it.

Like I get a little bit like maybe you are going to watch it. Yeah yeah, yeah, no, maybe you are going to watch it. I don't think you are. No, I've definitely springs eternal. Yeah I say stuff like that on dates all the time.

Ope, springs eternal. And they're like never gonna just like again.

Yeah, they're like, so, Chris, what was it like being a comedian and musician. Oh well, you know, just you got to bite a big hunk off of life and then you know fight it to the end. Uh.

I'm mostly doing for the art, but also starvation for popularity.

Start start so on it. I really love it. I hate it, but I love it. But yeah, so.

Yeah that's that's a little selection. But I'm excited about this video podcast because I do think it would be fun to play some of these things.

We're done with that part, right, what, Yeah, we're done with that videos, right? I mean, I think so unless you're overrated? Is a video like a bad video that you want to show us? Oh?

Well, overrated is what was I saying it was gonna be overrated? Not knowing about my documentary. But it's not time to promote my documentary yet because it's not it's coming out in the spring. It's coming out in March. But it's I just to mention it's a finished documentary by my friend Seth Palmeroy, who already made a great documentary about Silkworm, the band from the nineties, and it's

Okay, and I just who I just sort of met.

I just sort of met him through a friend of mine who records my records named Kevin Raderman. And and we went roller skating. Well, we went roller skating.

And I want to mention this guy. Yes, just making sure you're at Moonlight roller skating and I had never been. Did you fall because you were bending down to pick up the names that you were dripping?

Oh shit, okay, we can close down the show.

Now I'm slump so you can actually watch me slump in my chair.

Now wait, how did you follow? Digit were trying to do a slipping on ice?

Right?

No?

No, no, I broke my I broke my class caculu. Yeah, it's hard to keep it's hard to keep trying, all right, yeah, yeah, of this man on disability?

Wait wait wait, so wait, how did you what were you trying to do, like a triple axle or some shit on road? No? No, no no.

And the reason I bring up Jim is because Jim ended up playing my show instead of me. That's why I mentioned it, because I had just met Jim and we were just like getting to know each other through I don't know, just doing things that rock stars like to do, like I guess a roller skate, and you know,

It was right when Aretha Franklin had passed away, and it was Aretha Franklin tribute night, and they started playing rock Steady and I started.

Wakling, and I fell and I broke my hip.

And I broke my hip. And then the roller rake was so used to people breaking shit that they were just like I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I was like, I ruined to wreath the Franklin tribute night. Please get me out of the lane. I'm ruining it for everybody. And they're like, this happens every ten minutes. Sign this clip and the clipboard said like I was never roller.

Skating or whatever. You're in shock.

Yeah, and you're in shocks, you sign it, you know, and then.

They put you in a room in the back and there's three other people there that're like, depicoat you just you signed.

Somebody says you owe us money. I would have signed anything. So Seth was there to shoot the shoot the Damn Album release party, and so he was making this documentary, so he was going to put this in the documentary. He'd been shooting it since twenty fourteen, so this is four years into making the documentary. And then instead he was filming when I fell or no, no, my friend was filming when I fell, and then he put it.

But so the fall is in the documentary, yes, and it's doument you're never but so anyway, yeah, that.

Means what everybody that's like the Norm McDonald's saying when he was got thrown into rehab after being drunk twice, and he was like, I kept saying I'm not an alcoholic, but it.

Turns out that's what alcoholics say.

Yeah, that's right anyway.

So then Jim James, the reason I bring it up is because my album release show was a bigger success because I wasn't there, which is pretty funny. Jim James played instead of me because he felt bad that that that I broke my hip, and he played one of my songs too. He covered one of my songs which was so nice, cool, and that's in the movie too. But then this ties into Devil at Your Heels, which we just talked about for the whole show. So, uh, Jack's.

Looking at the clock.

We got one minute left, so he got me being loaded into the ambulance and I was saying stuff from Devil at Your Heels when I was getting loaded into it, because there's a scene in Devil at Yours there's a scene in Devil Your Heels where he's getting loaded into the ambulance and he's saying he's.

Saying, we'll be back tomorrow night. He's like, give me the microphone.

He goes get he brought he's right at the beginning of wr Heels he smashes because his big thing when he's not trying to jump with Saint Lawrence Seaway and the Yellow Lincoln Continentals, he just jumps junk cars over like a bunch of other junk cars and then lands on a bunch of junk cars. So he's the landing is on junk cars. But he when he lands on the junk cars, it like hurts a lot, so he like sometimes so his leg went through the floor of this and hit the transmission.

So he was like, I broke that that leg I hurt. And he's like, that's that leg I hurt in Dallas or whatever. He keeps up saying that, like it's that, like, don't worry is that leg?

Oh that's it?

Hold on well and now now again I have to find out what It's just so funny when people are like, hey, something bad happened to me, and I'm gonna use this moment to reference to my favorite documentary.

Well, so what happens is so he breaks it, So he breaks his ankle or whatever. He says it's sprayed, but he's lying and there he is right there, and so yeah.

That's it. That's it. He's talk into the microphone.

So he says, give me the microphone, give me the microphone, because all he cares about is that he's worried the crowd isn't gonna come back tomorrow night. So he goes, listen, I sprain my ankle against transmission. It's it's a it's a. It's an ankle, I hurting in in in in St SA Saint Lewis or whatever. And like, you know, he's like, as if that's important, because let's.

Hear from old Kenny himself. Yeah, you know, he's so he's on a gurney, just trying to make sense of where he's at. Is that is that the microphone? Yeah? I broken, but it's a little bit.

We'll be back here to the More nine eighty plot. You're just gonna take me in an X ray off. I don't think it's broken. I think it's badly spraying. I just slammed up against the signing the transmission. But believe me, we'll be back here to More Night at eight o'clock sharp. We'll be back here to More Night, Thank you very much.

Fat dude. This this guy is shaking because he's like in shock, like the adrenaline. You can see him be like, I was in shock, and then wait, so what did you do? Did you say? Hey?

I said I'll be back tomorrow night and something like I was saying that to the to him the cameraman being loaded into the ambulance. So and then people people were like, oh my god, Chris is Chris is magical. He's like always in a good mood or something like he's even being funny when he has a broken hip.

But I was in shock right right, and so the most you can do is like wait.

Like my friends were so, oh my god, you don't nothing gets you down. I was like, no, no, like so I'm justularity just.

Hungry, bro, I'm hungry. You break a bone and you're not hungry anymore. Man.

But it was always like I do get when I get I get funny if I get like pumped up, you know, like and so like like coffee or in this case, adrenaline from a broken hip. So I was like doing all these jokes and people were like, man, nothing gets them down.

And then the next two weeks in the hospital they could, I mean, they came and visited.

Then they saw man, it was down right right right, yeah, so yeah, that was.

That was six years ago. And and uh yeah, this documentary is now done. It's called Nashville Famous. It's it's he's submitting it to film festivals right now. And it's really great. You know, it's really gonna be great. I hope it, you know, I hope it gets more people will listen to my podcasts and come to my shows and whatever else.

But I'm not. I'm just grateful that he's doing it. It's really that's really cool. It's really nice. It's a funny it out. You know, it'd be so cool. We should do an la premiere, dude, not just not just watching it. We should blow this thing out.

Well there's the other thing is my record's coming out at same time, so we're coordinate.

Wow.

So we're gonna do.

My record and my documentary. So if I don't get you know, some money out of that, then I'm just gonna you know.

We're gonna be there for sure.

Well, we'll figure something out, but I'm excited for you guys.

I'll figure out. Well, yeah I won't. I'll be there, but I won't watch the documentary. Yeah, I don't care. If I've resigned myself. I know there's just cat videos. Cat videos are better.

I'll be in there, but I will I'll be on my phone the whole time, and I'll be like I.

Just imagining, uh, just imagining a version of munch Housing Center where somebody like repeatedly hurts themselves because it makes them funnier.

Right, I was just thinking of that too, Like, you know, I get funny when I get the adrenaline rushing Gallagher, but you just hurt. You hit yourself with a hammer and ship.

Yeah, you know what's fucking sad? Alcoholism functions sort of that way.

When I was hung over, that was the funniest I ever was, because you're that sort of half like che kind of thing. And I used to kind of live on that on that like like if I drank enough the night before, then all the next day I could kind of ride on that punchiness and I enjoyed. I enjoyed that sort of like that funniness that came from being hung over, and then when it started to wear off, I just drink again. So anyway, that's just the you were trying to make a joking.

Now, its sad, no, no sadness behind every joke. But yeah, this show's about we gotta don't do it.

Don't break your hip to get jokes. Yeah, it's not fucking worth it it all of us break. You're not everyone's built for that kind of ship. But yeah, yeah it sucks. I'm still dealing with it. I just started going to physical therapy again six years later to try to try to get it stronger, because it's like, breaking your hip is just an absurd thing to do. I mean, you're not supposed to do it that young anyway. That was a I was a whipper snapper of forty nine.

Yeah, everything's built on that thing. Man, you got to keep the hips hips right.

That's right, them boding me on the X ray table. I was genuinely screaming when they put me on the X ray table, like not, you know, not like not ironically, like you're.

Not screaming tomorrow night. Just it wasn't like a teenage Wasteland kind of screaming.

No, exactly exactly, it was not.

It was.

The new boss same as the old boss. No, it was a real I've never had a real yell of pain like that, Like these guys were trying to put me on the table.

And the documents like, oh thank god they didn't. Well, now I'm out, Now I'm out. Let's take a quick break. We'll come back, we'll close things out. We'll be right back, and we're back. Hi. Hello, hi oh hi.

And courtesy of Christy Amagucci man will Pool. We found out about this clip from Jamie Kennedy. Hadn't thought about Jamie Kennedy in days before I had seen this. It had been a couple of days at least since I thought about him. Well, how many days had it been since you watched Malibou's Most Wanted? Like, yeah, that's the thing, is probably like three or four days.

Okay, oh damn. But by the way, so.

Documentary's documentaries, it's impossible to get people to watch.

But Jamie Kennedy movies, you just tell me about one and I'm there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But this just continues a long, proud tradition of people like celebrities announcing that they're conservative. I'm sure that this can't be the first time he's announced he's conservative. It's just the first time that I've seen it. And looking like hell, looking like they've been floating face down in a pile of fast food wrappers.

Yep.

Yeah, So this is just a you know, vlog from Malibu Most Wanted Jamie Kennedy.

So if you're voting left, you're one of three things, brainwashed, getting paid, or a deviant.

That's it.

If you're still considering the left after everything I just told you, assassination attempts. Even people that don't personally like Trump will believe in him. How he's targeted, targeting. I'm Trump is clearly not a perfect person. I'm clearly not clearly there's a lot of stuff there. But he also look at is he targeted? Are they trying to take him out? Because he's he's gone off, shut up in a good way.

He looks he looks bad, dude, Like, what's going on? What's going on with all right? So, first of all, I don't know what you're talking about. His shirt matches his background, so it's a regular shirt. I don't know what you find a new angle.

Yeah, he looks so bad I can barely recognize him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's I mean, clearly he's he's he's struggling with something, some kind of struggling with the truth. The way that the truth.

Well, yeah, these people don't ever look good, like you know, Jim Brewer, and and and Roseanne.

Barr and John Voyd, Bill Maher, they all look like ship. They all look like Yeah, they don't look well. I mean, I mean Bill Maher.

I guess I included him sort of as a I mean I consider him part of the problem too. But these people, Yeah, it's a gross.

No you can you're allowed to include Bill Maher on this podcast.

Yeah. Yeah, it's just.

A gross, nasty point of view. And and it's and it's it's it just makes people gross.

Clearly been like online way too much like with his like you either d you get paid? He sounds like a fucking character from like Manchester on the Sea or something.

It seems like did he burn down a house with a bunch of Actually, I don't know. It was not gonna the I mean the Manchester is that what? But no, probably just his career went in a direction and he didn't want it to and he never really came to terms with that.

But oh, kid Rock.

Kid Rock is a good example of a guy that if you really get a good look at Kid Rock, he looks like ship.

Yeah, And and I don't think you need a good look at him you just well, you know it's true.

But if you look at like, I mean he really he him.

Let's call him Robert Ritchie. Okay, let's use his government name. Kid Rock is too cool for someone who's actually comes from a wealthy family.

Yeah no, anyway, anyway, it's it's it's it just makes me sad to see people uh so so starved for popularity.

Yeah yeah, no, it's the election is bringing everybody out. Like it's just so weird too, because yeah, they see more and more of this shit with like celebrity and like the stakes couldn't be high man. For the devus it takes over and socialism will happen to everybody, man, Yeah, take it from me. I had a terrible New Year's special about fourteen years ago that I hope people don't remember or look up on YouTube because that was also a fucking disaster. I don't know if Kennedy had on

You know, lot of people thought RFK Junior was a big loss for the Democratic side. But this is the Kennedy that really hurts the most. Well, yeah, for me, it's like I think it's a cliche, how do you

This is I mean, I'm just so baffled that a guy who had such amazing jokes about talking to black people, uh, that it didn't go better for him. This was just one that came up. I would said Jamie Kennedy Black Jokes on YouTube. I said, this shit is not going anywhere good fast. I'm just I just have to see what the he's saying here. I know black guys like me too. When they meet me, it's they always complimenting with him. You know, they see me at the mall

Yeah yeah, stand up special Yeah, same kind of stuff.

Just like it's just weird. I don't even know what it is.

It's just like I'm famous, so you're gonna laugh when I say something.

Yeah, it's called inflection comedy. There are no jokes, but I might talk different and then that's a joke.

That story Patton Oswald told about being at the at the casino or and like, I forget what they quote. They kept yelling at him, but he didn't even get to do any material at all. All anyone wanted to do was here's him say, he just said stuff for movies. And then he roared and he was like, I got paid like twenty thousand dollars for an hour of just standing on stage because people knew who I was. And he's like, this is not what I got into comedy for.

Right, It's like I.

Didn't have to do anything. Everyone was so drunk and just excited to be in the room that's with someone they had heard of, and that's what really that that shit is. Yeah, well, Chris Crofton, we wish that for you, a world where you could just like just show up, just show up and say.

Lines for movie, get paid and go home.

Should you show up and say lines from a documentary, Devil at your heels?

I want that too, And people also need to get a job, Like Jamie Kennedy, Man, how bad do you want to stay home and float around in your pool that this is how you got to make money? Go get a regular job. I get it, you've had the day off. You've had the day off for thirty years. But if this is the only way you can continue to have the day off, you might want to look into stocking some.

Shows that's you, Pece Stritch. Where can follow You.

Can follow me on at the Crofton Show, on Instagram which is the main thing I'm on, which is because I'm a basic b and also Twitter, at the Crafton Show, where you can find me if you sift through a ton of hate speech, and then you can find me mainly on my podcast colebrew Got me like And now I've expanded that in wild ways. I have a Colebrew Conversations show now and I have one episode so far, and I actually edited the whole thing myself and I

On my own with no help. It sounds decent. So watch out.

I'm going to start interview everybody, including Myles and Jack if they'll let me. And I'm gonna be I'm gonna be doing like my favorite comedians and and and whoever, like even like I'll do my favorite.

Person down the street too.

I want to interview normal people, like, you know, not normal you know, yeah, civilians. Yeah, you know, in comics call regular people civilians.

That's the worst. Yeah, that's cool because yeah, you're in the military. That's the worst.

It's mostly open mic. It's mostly open mic comedians to say that. But anyway, not that, how would I know about that?

So that's it. That's it.

Just check out the check out that and watch out for this documentary coming out in March along with my album.

And is there a work of media Chris that you've been enjoying?

My friend Sam Severin, she's a comedian in Atlanta. She puts up things that I like. It's like, not.

Hurt She mostly retweets, but who was the genius who invented the lip gloss that hurts you? The lip gloss that makes its process? No, and that's not good? I like that one.

Okay, Well, that's that's one of Sam Severan's.

That would be a great stand ups from your notes up you're saying something.

Good, but yeah, they're jokes that killed, but the delivery is so fucked up.

I guess I'm too old to understand what that even fucking means. Uh, But anyway, Sam Severin follow Sam Severin at Waitress Boner. She retweets great stuff and she also tweets great stuff. But I don't know what why.

I just don't. I don't know how to read tweets or whatever. Yeah, there you go.

Yeah, well I enjoyed the hell out of it. I think I think the inflection was perfect. Miles, Where can people find you as their work of media? You've been enjoying.

Find me on Twitter, Instagram, anywhere they got at symbols at miles of grades you are a y. You can find Jack and I obviously on the basketball podcast My House and Jack Got Mad Boosty. You can also find me talking ninety day Fiance on four to twenty Day Fiance and some works of media. I like some tweets. One is from at Bobby Likes Beers. It says AI is coming for your jobs. I'd like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their co worker under the bus as soon as their boss asks

A pj Evans one also shout ut pj Evans shout ut pj Evans at p j A y e v A n s who tweeted, hey man, be careful taking a nap. One of my buddies had a dream where he was getting chased around fun.

That's just a cool thing to tell people. You can find You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore O Brian. You can find us on Twitter at Daily Zeikegeist right the Daily zaike Geist on Instagram. We have a Facebook fan page and a website, Daily zeike Guys dot com, where we post our episodes and our footnote where we link off to the information that we talked about in today's episode, as well as the song that we think you might enjoy. Miles, what song do you think people might enjoy?

Uh, You're gonna like this one. This is an artist called Sam Austen's who is from Detroit to Detroit based artist and look, Detroit music is some of the best music out there. This one's called Pretend Friend. I don't know how to describe this genre wise, It's like and like Andre without cast E, but also there's like some electronic and some rocky elements. It's really still really dope. Track it's worth listening to. So this is Pretend Friend by Sam Austen's all right.

We will link off to that in the foot note. The Daily z Eitegeist is the production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio visits Yeah Heart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, that it is going to do it for us this morning. We are back on Tuesday, yes, to tell.

You what is trending.

We are off on Monday for Indigenous People's Day. I have a great long weekend everybody, and we will talk to y'all on Tuesday.

Bye, thank you,