Did you see the new alien movie? I would guess I would assume the filmmaker prides itself on like having disturbing things to say about, like the body horror of like childbirth and you know, procreation, and but they still let you know she's pregnant in the most cliched way possible. She just throws up in a toilet and you're like, that she pregnant.
I don't know. It could be a lot of weird aliens, but that's pregnancy.
It's the short of But it's like undefeated. I couldn't believe it when I saw it because also they're like in a like doing a vomit comet type situation in a spacecraft, so it like makes sense that she would throw up, and she runs off and throws up in another woman's like how long has it been? How long have you been pregnant? A different world.
Just immediately, rather than like, oh you had the Salisbury steak. Yeah, yeah, that'll do that to you.
Guys. If I ever cough and then look down at my hand and then put my hand below and then look around nervously, it's it's because I got TV and you can just you need to start looking for a replacement.
It's funny how though too Like all like the big shows also have to have it, Like The Walking Dead has a blood cough, The Sopranos has had a blood cough. Lost has had a blood cough. Better call Saul has had Like it's like.
Popped his cherry. That's what Like the great TV showrunners are saying they want to get a blood cough.
I did the blood cough on tell you to keep.
You see so welcome to the club. Brother.
The one I think of two is in like Bobby Bacalaw's dad has to do that hit and he's so old, remember, and he's like coughing blood up all the time. And one of him he does like a little blood cough and you're like a Bobby bocodad.
Not long for this show.
Bobby blood of.
One of the lesser Wu tang a kas a ka Bobby blood cough. That was that was before you maybe just go digital on this one.
Bobby blood cough is that it sounds like a zarw from from Russia.
Feel does kind of sound like it Azar?
Yeah, it was blood.
It's bloody b from the Miracle that Ivan Drago's last name was not blood cough blood is pretty good. Yeah, Hello the Internet, and welcome to this week trend edition of a production of iHeart Radio Cook Crisp. Sorry, Brian, I didn't mean to max things out. My name is Jack. I'm thrilled to be joined by mister Miles.
WHOA, we're not doing funny case now. I'm just I'm just a guy. I'm just a washed old man trying to make sense of all the iconography and symbology around me changing at such a pace. I don't know what anything is anymorets aren't even on the box of Cookie Crisp anymore.
You're like Red or not Red, the guy who gets out and shawsh hank and is like the everybody went and got in a big damn hurry all of a sudden.
All right, well yo, sorry, just a bit of Lord. They changed that shit back in two thousand and five. Wow.
Yeah, we were talking before we started recording about the Cookie Crisp, about Cereal mascots, and they changed away from the burglar to a coyote.
It appears like a wolf. Yeah, Chip the wolf, Chip the wolf.
And yeah, I have since then not seen nor heard of Cookie Crisp.
Yeah, exactly. I thought they backed the blue I thought I thought you guys back to the Blue Cookie.
Crisp. All right, this is the episode where we tell you what was trending over the weekend. But first we get to know each other a little bit better by telling you some things we think is overrated underrated? Miles, what is something you think is overrated?
Overrated? Video game reviews, specifically about Star Wars games. Now, this is sort of my gamer take right now. There's there's a video game I've been waiting for for a long time called Star Wars Outlaws, where it's basically like an open world game where you can you could hop on a ship and like, yo, we're going to another planet.
We got to go to Taxo we now, and you could just leave and mob over to another planet, get on speeder bikes, do all this kind of stuff, do heists and so like, as somebody who loves open world games, I'm like, oh, this is perfect because I love Star Wars. I love the aesthetic of Star Wars and all that.
And the reviews, like people were getting early review copies and everyone was saying how shitty the game was, Like it's so bad, it's terrible, Like it's not worth it whatever, and I was like, oh, damn, so I guess I'll probably hold off. Usually, like when I'm hyped about a Star Wars game, like I'll get it. I don't care about the reviews, but all the reviews seem like universally like this thing is bad, don't buy it. I get it,
and it's really not bad at all. Like there are a lot of things, like in terms of game mechanics that I think are different than what people expect. So that's where like a lot of the pain is coming from.
But it looks really good. I'm having a lot of fun with it, and I don't know, like I think I'm realizing too that there needs to be like reviews for people who are like so into all the finite things about what makes a game a game as someone who's played games forever decades, like I'm very savvy about games. But there's also like an element of when I play a game, I don't need it to be like the game of the year. I just kind of need an escape where I'm like, look at these beautiful landscapes, like
and I'm going so fast on a speeder bike. I crashed into the side of a Hut and broke it. But that's okay because the landscapes were so beautiful and Job of the Hut, yes, yes, that used to be a Pizza the Hut, but it got you know, private equity took over and you know, you know what happened
to the Job of the Hut quickly. But no, like it was just one of those things where like the the public sort of like the mainstream public opinion of this game was so negative that it was as if they're like, dude, if you pick up their controller and play this, you will get a blood cough just from how bad this thing is. And it was like, it's fine, I've played way worse games, but I think endorsement No, no, no, no, I'm not saying I'm not I'm not saying I'm not
here to say this is the best game. Ever, however, like there are reviews, like the sort of momentum of reviews is almost like do not even cast your gaze upon the game because it's so bad. And I played it, and I'm like it's fine, Like it's not like I'm not I'm not supremely upset by these things that a lot of people are pointing out because for me again. I need I just want a little bit of escapism. I just want to put my music on, ride a speeder bike, get into some things with my hood rat friends,
and you know, move on with my day. So anyway, I just think I'm reminded of my mother's stage like wisdom to me ever since I was I was my first day of school, which she always said, always have your own judgment and have your own opinion about something. Don't just accept somebody else's like, learn for yourself. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry, mama, but I let the reviews
poison my perception of it. And then like a few of my friends were playing, they like, yeah, it's fine, Like it's not it's not so it's not so bad. I regret it. Just it's but if you know what you want, it's great. And I see some zych ganger playing. I wish it was online so we could all play together. But I would love to hear Zitgang's opinions of this game too.
Is kind of cohere and like influence each other and like we'll take on sort of a gravitational like pool where like if one person says it's like yeah, then there'll be a lot of it, there'll be a chorus, especially.
If you're like at the top too, and like the prevailing opinions from people who are sort of like at the top of their review game is sort of like, yo, this just sucks, right, then you might if you also have a channel or something or an outlet, like maybe you're just kind of like, well, I don't want to be the one out here being like it's not that bad, y'all. But I'm now seeing plenty of reviews now that the game is fully out, people are like it's fine, Like
it's not. Again, it's not the best game ever. And I guess because of that, people built up in their minds that this would be the best, greatest game ever and because it's falling short, therefore it's trash. Yeah, but it is what it is, and I think the I think it really does a good job of like at
least visually pulling off like the the aesthetic of Star Wars. Now, mind you, I'm like like a not even halfway through the game, but I'm just saying, yeah, I wasn't disappointed, and I'm glad I took a risk.
Yeah, I feel it like I definitely a guilty pleasure of my is like reading movie and like music reviews, and I've noticed that they off a lot of times, like the person or like the whoever's getting credit for a given movie or like a work like album or something will get be getting credit for the last thing
they did on this review. Like there's like a lag because it just like influences how you feel about a thing, like and so you know, people in the moment aren't able to deal with their feelings of like a really great album or like movie, and then you know you'll you'll suddenly see their next thing be like really highly rated, the most highly rated thing they they've done, and it's like, actually it's kind of derivative compared to like what the
stuff they did in the first place. Yeah, there's just always a lot going on with revi Use, But I still consume them.
Yeah, and I do too, That's what I'm saying. I love them the same way. And I was like, oh damn, this just sounds like an l Yeah, but and like the graund like but again, it's I think with something like with games, it really is subjective. Like people play games for a myriad of different reasons. Some do it because they need to literally feel like they are in the most authentically recreated Star Wars world. Sometimes you just need something to blow steam off so you're not as
invested in like how every single thing turns out. But anyway, yeah, just just just decide for yourself.
Yeah, I mean, similarly, one of my oprateds is like my ability to resist a list like the uh, like the one Rolling Stone just put out the excuse me, the list of top TV show episodes. Did you see that in like the top fifty TV show episodes of all time?
I saw that people were talking about it like last week, but I never I didn't. I didn't bother to like actually look at it, because again I'm like, what the fuck are you know?
Yeah, it's fatally flawed, like by design, because like everyone's favorite episode is going to be like not this one ninety percent of the time, so you're just like pissing off pissing off super fans. But then for everything else, like you're like, oh, yeah, I remember that that was actually like really fun, you know, and then it just it is the perfect machine for just generating like the
specifically doing TV show episodes. For some reason, I was like, oh, that's kind of a brilliant piece of clickbait because right it reminds you of something specific, you're actually going to disagree with it because it's like wrong most of the time, and you can't like pick one out of like an entire series that's going to be the one that everybody agrees with. But it also like by getting specific, you're like, you know, it forces you to be specific because you're like,
that's actually not the best episode. This is the best episode, and it also reminds you of something specific. So I was unable to resist reading that, and you know, developing a lot of opinions.
I think it's just such a like a brat in my mind, I'm just like, if it if it's not, If I don't agree with it from the jump, it's bullshit and I don't want to be upset you.
Also, I have paperwork as overrated just I don't know, I had an annoying thing happen over the weekend, having to like you a cop. Yeah, all those goddamn paperwork fill out on that.
Body cam could turn it into a report using age.
Just say, I don't recommend having an apostrophe in your last name.
Wait, what the fuck happened?
It's just like I had to Basically I signed up for this thing twice, and like once or I was was signed up for it under Jack and the other one was signed up under my actual name, John, and so there were like these two profiles, and so I just had to like re upload and refile all this paperwork I'd already done, only to find out at the end of it it was like, oh, you just had to like report this. But like the piece of mail that I got was like intense, so I was just
like on it. You know, we got I'm in trouble.
You will get blood cough in ten minutes if you do not upload your paperwork.
But I just feel like we're all constantly in this world of like especially in America, like whether it's taxes or health insurance. We've talked about how like in other countries taxes they just send you the bill. They're not like all right, so you know, you're not having to do all this paperwork. Having to do taxes is not like a job in other places, or at least at the job that is done by the government behind a wall, so you don't have to deal with that shit.
I'm guessing your paperwork wasn't literal paperwork right, Like you could do this over the internet.
Yeah, I could do it over the internet. I did not.
I was gonna say, my man, Japan, you want to talk about Backwardians, Dude, it's every shit is still on paper, like you'd have to go to a municipal office to like, dude, like they're like E file what, No, bring the papers in here and fill it out if you hand them to me, and it better not be wrinkled. You better bring that ship in a folder too. Oh really slop. I mean like it's just more culturally like people would never bring like a folded like application, like you would
keep it completely pristine. It's just look, it's well, we all have the cultural quirks, but having not not folding up paper, that's I no, no, not for anything important.
That I don't know. I just I feel like it's the thing we all deal with, and it's like a type of hell that everyone's just like goddamn, like you know, like have we all have hanging over our head? And like I think in America a lot of it is the right having been like small you know, small government
is better because government is incompetent. And then depriving government of all the jobs that make it not incompetent, so that like all the misery is passed on to us, and then the job you're dealing with government governmental bureaucrats is a pain in the ass because they fired all of them. But yeah, I don't know.
I just think it like you know, how you go like a new doctor and shit, and you got to fill out like seventy pages worth of paperwork. Yeah, I wish like I could just like in my mind, I'm seeing how my browseruld be like auto fill.
I'm like, yeah, yes, yeah, do this please that.
I'm like, can I get a digital version that I could upload into my browser that would practice well, I mean it just has my address, but a lot of the stuff where like you're your own medical history. I get that that shit changes, but I guess it's all to say my hand cramps easy.
Yeah, but you guys want to like give us a reason to like ai U s A I to like get rid of all the fucking paperwork we have to do. Let it like intuitively know that just because an apostrophe is missing, everything else is the same, So those are the same person.
Yeah, cut to when that shit completely misidentifies you as some like scoundrel from like eighteen hundred.
Yeah, all right, myles, what is something you think is underrated?
Underrated? This is a quick one. So I'm on the precipice of turning forty. This is my last this is my last Monday of being in my thirties. So I just want everybody to know that this is my last Monday of my thirties, all right, because Sunday I will be turning forty years old and truly going to the washed world. But I think what's underrated just like the small details that kind of make you realize how how much time is getting like generationally popular culture is getting
away from you. Because I saw some viral tweet where the punchline was about like quote like looking like the guy from Limp Biscuit, And in my mind, as somebody who has you know, done a lot of comedy, taking a lot of impron done a lot of improv, you take classes, and you know, specificity is something that you always talk about in comedy, Like there's something a little bit funnier about being specific when you're landing a joke.
And in my mind, I'm like, why don't just say Fred Durst, right, like that's that's the guy from Limp Biscuit. It's specific and more funny. But then in the reply someone also mentioned that they're like, oh, you mean Fred Durst, and some of the younger people replied like who the fuck is that, like truly being like we know the Limp Biscuit guy, we don't know who the fuck Fred
Durst is. So I was like, oh, the tides of washed nests have now come upon the Limp Biscuit shores for us to know that we no longer we're not close enough to use that kind of specificity and have it be understood because now there's a new generation like younger people are jal just saying yeah, the red the red Yankee hat guy from Limp Biscuit and like that was just one of those small things, and I'm like, ah, but I am of that generation that knows him as
Frederick Durst Durst fame, and so yeah, the young's I get it. It's like in the same way like when I didn't know, like like I don't know who Gene Simmons was, I would say like the Monster band guys, like when I was younger or and then I knew Kiss, but I still know Jene Simmons was I'd be like the guy from Kiss, which I get because again that for me, that distance, I'm like, I wasn't fucking with Kiss like that, to know who you know, like they popped up in pop culture, but not in no way
that I would be specific. So now I'm seeing that happen with some shit that's you know, like you know, the Olympiscuit heyday was like almost thirty years ago now, so yeah, yeah, to see good, to see it all just just I just love to see time operating and the ways I'm noticing and not like, oh I'm getting a bunch of gray nosehirs or like all this other weird shit. I'm like, they don't call him Fred, they don't call him by his name.
From It's Over, even though there was a guy from Olympiscuit with a very different look, but I'm sure given Toland, Yeah, Wes Borland with the like with the wild contact.
Yeah, shout out to younger people who are like you should have seen these guys fucking having a crisis, being like yo Westborol, Like, who the fuck are these guys?
Right? Yeah, I mean twenty seven years ago, so when their album came out twenty seven years before that was nineteen seventy, so you know, that's I didn't know who. Like if you had been like, I mean, this guy's over here looking like Sid Barrett, I would have been like, who's that like a you know, comedian or something, and
that's actually the singer from Pink Floyd. But I fucking wouldn't known that, you know, moon, I think I knew who that was, but like only vaguely, Like I don't I don't know any of the bands from like nineteen.
Seventeen, but I mean, like it all, you know, Like I remember I thought I thought, wow, like Digital Underground, I thought the guy was Humpty Dumpty. Yeah, yeah, Like I was like, that's Humpty Dumpty. You know.
All right, My underrated h one is just really briefly watching the US open the chair umpire when people cheer and they're not supposed to the chair empire will.
Go please please in a way so desperate, please please.
He's the tone of his voice is threatening, just like having a complete mental collapse.
All right, Pipian Ghost.
Yeah, I couldn't place his accident because I really only ever heard him say please. But Uh was wild that. It was like, you know, the US Open is a New York saying, you'd think be like, hey, shut the fuck up.
Oh, but it was just please please.
Anyway, I say that constantly around our house now, to the delight of my wife. Once and then I'm still saying it, no no more. It's like okay, yeah, we got it. Please Sorry, I just pronounced that my wife the I also want to just give a shout out to Roy Wood Junior on Twitter for highlighting the famous beach race between Rocky and Apollo and Rocky three and just highlighting the performances in that in that race, because I don't know, like the music and context really sell
a thing. I had not really notice it the way. Uh this Twitter post made me realize. But like he he's pointing out the like Rocky looks like he's dying, Like his face is like straining. He looks like he is having an angorism, and all looks like he is jogging, yes, which like totally fucks up the contact, like totally fucks up if Apollo is letting him win. This is like such a it's it is the climactic moment before he
goes to fight like that. Like the moment after that is like they they cut to the fight, but it really looks like Apollo is just like kind of amused and letting him win the race.
I mean, this is the difference between having an actor in Sylvester Stallone pretending to be an athlete and fucking Carl Weathers.
Yes, for the NFL linebacker. I met Carl Weathers. His hand was bigger, like his fist was bigger than my head. It was I bet so wide.
I bet I just remember even that prosthetic Handy had and happy Gilmour looked.
That is the one I'm talking about.
To say, Yo, it's hard as shit too, like.
Would saloon it's worth watching well, like off to the Roy Wood Junior tweet in the footnotes. But Rocky's running motion is also like it looks like someone it's inefficient, just let him test drive a human body for the first time, and like he'd seen someone sprint before, but like you.
Know what he's when I watch it, and someone who's been watching a lot of Paralympics and Olympics this summer, like in terms of like sprinting, it looks like in his mind he's doing he's running in slow motion, Like he's seen people sprinting in slow motion and he's doing that in like real time because he keeps slam I mean his chin down, Like yes, he keeps doing like this like headpeck thing, like to make it seem more intense. And yeah, it's just so bad because it's so clear.
Carl Weathers is like, bro, this is jogging.
Yeah. He's like kind of looking over at him like is this motherfucker for real?
He's like, is he okay? I better slowed out? Let this dude.
Crisis. He needs it. He needs the confidence booster. Rocky's just like being a gas lit into thinking he's the best fighter in the world. And then everything after that when they jump into the waves to like celebrate, he actually drowns and everything after that. He's just a dream wish fulfillment.
Space of purgatory.
Yeah. Actually, to your point, I think I remember there was they had a sprinter look at various movie running styles to be like who is actually a good runner? And Tom Cruise was deemed like pretty good but a little too upright, But like the one who was like, yo, what is that is he running? Was Sylvester Stallone.
I get that. Yeah, bro muscles, doesn't mean like you're a graceful athlete, doesn't mean you've just lifted a bunch of shit.
Yeah, all right, let's take a quick break. We'll come back with some news and we're back. We're back, and we are one day away from the debate.
Yeah, why could it have been on nine to eleven?
I mean, just and we just have like a nine to eleven off of just like how much they aren't forgetting it.
Because you imagine Trump just makes a bunch of off color jokes. I never forget what I mean. You know, I saw them cheering from across in New Jersey.
And now it's I have the tallest building in Manhattan. That's the one that he's on. Yeah, yeah, I think he saw something cheering in Jersey.
Yeah, he's like I saw I saw Arabs cheering in New Jersey, saw people cheering in New Jerk.
Anyway, Yeah, pulled into a radio show on the day of nine to eleven and specifically said I now have the tallest building in the island, which wasn't true. Anyways, Unfortunately it's not on nine to eleven. It is on nine ten, nineteen, and he is still complaining he's kind of run out of like rules to complain about. So now he's complaining that he doesn't want Harris to use any boxes or artificial lifts, which he considers a form of cheating, adding, you are who you are. It was determined.
Oh, it was determined.
It was determined. You are who you are.
Okay, I will you want I mean a little are we projecting much, sir?
Mister shoes, my shoes, my special.
Shoes, which many people pointed out, like we know, we know you're you're doing, you're using some enhancements, sir.
Yeah, there's a lot of pictures of him in his shoes where his heel is like peeking out of the top of the shoes.
Yeah, you know, like anyone who like look at your like your foot where the heel meets, like where your achilles is, there's that little bump it kind of rounds out. Usually you don't see that part out of your shoe, whereas like this part you can clearly be like, oh, yeah, look at his heel all up high and ship that shoes.
Yeah, and leans a lot we look at I mean, first of all, like in the immediate aftermath of the assassination attempt, like you said, he just kept asking for his shoes.
Yeah, and then do you think that ship was staged? Yeah, shoes would have been fucking glued on.
That is the only thing I see now on social media. I mean, like, is people just talking about how it was staged, Like that's seems to be for.
What for his campaign to take a bigger l right, that was so wild even if it was, I know, at the time, people were like, oh, this is it. He's going to have all the sympathy now and win, and sadly like just you know, there was a mass shooting again in Georgia last week. There's so many happening that they truly at this point just get lost in our news cycles. Yeah, for better or worse than Yeah, I'm like, I don't know if he staged, but anyway, the shoes wouldn't have blown off if it was staged.
And also in the aftermath of the U of the assassination attempt, when he was talking about it, he kept talking about like how you know they they came and tagging me like linebackers and like my shoes, like talking about how tight his shoes are on his feet, and they still like knocked him out of them. Which is like, wait, are you still just covering up for the fact that you have left on him?
Might bring that shit up.
You just had a near death experience and you're just like covered.
My shoes though, Okay, yeah, go on, but.
Anyways, you know, let let's go to the tail of the tape like a boxing announcer. You know, he is reportedly between six two and sixty three with his special shoes on. I think most people who've seen him without the special shoes on say he's more like five to eleven. She is five four and a half, but with heels on, her height reaches five seven and a half.
All right, coming in with a solid three inchiel. Okay, we like that. He's got Yeah, terrible reach though he's six foot his wing he got a five to three wingspan.
Yeah, I feel like his arms aren't that. Also, like the the lift thing also explains like his posture a lot of the time, you know how he's like kind of always leaning forward. Some people on social media have like suggested that that. People say it's going on there.
Yeah, but it's I always see two competing theories on Twitter. It's like either his cognitive decline throws his balance off and that's why he leans forward, or it's his lifts, and I can I see the case more literally for the lifts that are have his heels off the ground, which is already kind of slightly angled you to the front. Not to say that this man isn't also melting from the inside out in the right right.
And we will get to that. But he does stand like he's wearing ski boots the whole time.
Yeah, like he's doing he's like mid ski jump, right, like when he's mid air.
But candidate giving themselves extra height actually has a historic precedent, a historical precedent. It's not that history. It's not so important that it should be called historic. But I misspoke. Ducaccas actually stood on a riser in nineteen eighty eight while debating Bush. And then there was a famous SNL sketch where John Lovett's playing Ducaccas like raises and lowers
himself at the podium. Yeah. Well, there's like a loud hydraulic lift sound in the background that that feels like one of those moments that like I know that more than I know anything that actual Doucaucus did is the oh that's all hydrogly Yeah, yeah, it's like the and I can see Russia from my front porch is not what she yeah, not what she actually said, but yeah, so, I mean the reason people actually pay attention to this is that research has showed that voters have a preference
for tall leaders, possibly due to a quote instinctive reasons going back to caveman days, which really just goes to show how stupid we all.
Are doing this evolutionary psychology thing.
Now, yeah, I guess so that certainly seems to be.
The candidate would the bigger bust will also win because it will show that they are able to nourish the nation, Like okay, go back to cave man days.
Yeah, but the taller candidate has only one fifty eight percent of the time between seventeen eighty nine and two thousand and eight. Although I feel like we should only be paying attention to like after people knew what the candidates looked like, right like they I mean, I guess there were like drawings and newspapers or whatever, but like right right, warrant.
They're never like all right, y'all, go back to back. You know how we do this every presidential race? Yeah, yeah, he barefoot? Barefoot?
If that was a thing like, please let me know, that would be wild if they just if they did have tail the car.
Set shoes off. Mister Andrew Jackson. This is a serious presidential measurement.
I mean speaking of Andrew Jackson Lincoln, who a lot of people have claimed was the greatest president ever before Trump came along. But he exaggerated his height like he was already tall, and then he wore a hat that added like sixteen inches.
He said, check people, hit, I'm gonna put a fucking ten gallon hat on or whatever that show was called.
Yeah, stove pipe.
Oh wait, what's that? Sun is cowboy hat?
And it's called that because you can use it to scoop ten gallons of water, like one at a time until it starts leaking. Is it doesn't actually contain ten gallons.
Right, and you're able to move ten gallons?
Yeah?
Yeah, hey man, that's a that's a good ad.
I but yeah, I don't know, like I.
Would use a bucket myself.
But do you wear a bucket on your head?
Man? Hell?
Yeah, like buckethead of reference. Nobody is gonna get.
This is the Washed report.
This is the Wash Report. But I also like have the same question about this debate that I had about like was like with Lincoln, I'm sure the height thing showed up because they used to wrestle each other to see who can president back then, Like, dude, are we going to have like a jump ball at the start of the debate, Like wow, I feel they would.
Get washed even by five four Kamala. If Trump had to jump be amazing, he probably break his ankle. Yeah, he's like, ah, God, get too much air this. I mean, I'm the debate, the prep seems non existent again. You on Fox this morning they have people literally begging him to not be racist. Seems to be the latest tactic, which is I don't I don't know if that's good because you know, they got Lawrence Jones, who's this black guy who's been showing up more and more on Fox
like in the last year. He sat down with them this morning and he was just sort of like, you know, don't like Kamala, Harris, don't like Kamala like bait you into being racist?
You know Like what, Yeah, that's the only way I could see this guy being racist is if he.
Baited into it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it's just as it says, don't put voters in that position where they have to choose between their economic situation and feeling sympathetic or personal. He's a Trump is a peculiar in a peculiar situation right now, because when you look at the polling data amongst you know, Latino's black voters, you see these gains happening, and there's a case for all these people saying that they were
better off under his economy. You want to keep those voters right there right Well, Kamala Harris is going to try to what she's going to try to do is get him into this race war right, to be vicious, to attack her as a woman. And I love again that they're like treating him like a wild animal who knows nothing. And look what they're going to do to the poor guy. They're gonna make him be himself up there, Oh how awful.
Gonna let him say the things that he thinks. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's a very good call out that a lot of this ship is just bullshit evolutionary biology or evolutionary psychology shit where it's.
Which I love. Yeah, Oh helly dude, the way that shit blew my fucking mind. Yeah, And like I was Oh my, I was so insufferable, like just regurgitating that to like women on dates.
Well, you think about it, like we.
I'm not joking, I'm like, my, I'm dying inside even thinking about how intellectual I thought I fucking was at nineteen doing that shit. Oh yeah, oh oh my god, Like I want to ask. I think I need to stop the recording and go out a fucking cigarette, take a shower. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck anyway,
Focus on Trump. Oh, so he's been doing like over the weekend he was posting wild violent shit on truth social like I'm gonna lock up all my fucking you know, the people who try and cheat in this election again, because I think the writings on the wall, at least in their camp, which is like, you know, this might look like an l So we need to figure out how we're gonna steal, like we gotta we can't fuck
the steal up this time. And then at the end of last week he had a string of just awful, awful appearances, like to the point where you know, there's been a lot of write ups there like why is why isn't the media being like this guy is losing it? Like in real time before our eyes, Like stop pretending like what he's saying makes sense, Like he's it's all
word solid buffet. On Thursday, he went to the Economic Club of New York, which is a group of like economic walks, you know, people who fucking their whole life is talking, yeah, talking about the details of economic policy. These are the kinds of people who you cannot just pull up to and go, well, you know, Kamala Harris, the border, blah blah blah when they ask you. So this is a question. He was asked directly at the
Economic Club of New York. And probably again you can just tell by I started cringing when they were forming the question because I could already see him, like Trump ain't answering this, like in a way that makes sense. This is him at the Economic Forum or Economic Club.
If you win in November, can you commit to prioritizing legislation to make childcare affordable? And if so, what specific piece of legislation will you advance?
Oh, my good, this is starting a feeling, Billie Madison.
And also that was a pretty straightforward question, but like you're right that the feeling is.
And what specific piece of legislation? Oh, no, you can't answer that. My man's about to pull a fucking revolver out like my boy did in the Billy Madison movie. Well, I would do that.
And we're sitting down, you know, back from the top, sitting down. You know, I was somebody we had said in a Marco Rubio and my daughter Ivanka was so impactful on that issue. It's a very important issue. But I think when you talk about the kind of numbers that I'm talking about, uh huh that because look, childcare is childcare is uh huh. You know, there's something you have to have it in this country. You have to have it.
But when you talk about those numbers compared to the kind of numbers that I'm talking about by taxing foreign nations.
There we go, and then he just nation to fucking tariffs, talking about triffs. Wow, they're really great, and you know you gotta have childcare, you gotta have it.
And but if you get the numbers, and yeah, in.
His mind he's like, yeah, these are you com they love something like if you compare, then if you crunch the numbers, all right, dude. Wow. So that was just so rambling a non answer. People like, yikes, dude, this is absolute nonsense. And then he continued this streak on Friday. He had he just threw like a press conference because he was to hear.
A press conference just through it.
That's how these things are, like the feel like well thought. It's just like it's like a kickback where you're just gonna hear this. You would be like, yo, I just learned this track on guitar. You want to hear. So he spoke because he had an appeals hear in Manhattan over the sexual abuse case from Egene Carroll. Because he's trying to throw He's like, they want a new trial because there was inadmissible evidence either. Whatever. It's like nonsense, and he comes out he starts in an attempt to
like bolster his case. He brought up allegations from another woman named Jessica Leeds, who said Trump assaulted her on an airplane in the late seventies. And this is again how he's flanked by his lawyers. Alina Haba like through this entire clip, she looks like she's trying to get the fuck out. She's like, this guy is fucking everything
up right now. But anyway, this is him just being because I think they're pointing to this woman as like some reason why his doesn't matter, because just the way it sounds, it sounds like an old guy who's just shooting off weird, sordid memories in front of a microphone. This is him is now.
There were two witnesses. As a woman who's followed me for years, she said, in nineteen seventy nine, I was in an airplane with her commercial flight and we became very intimate. I just sat down.
I think it's like, wait, what what?
Like?
Yeah, he does seem to be just like glitching out a little bit more than because it.
Feels like he's just saying like he's there to act like he's innocent. But then he starts it's as if he's recounting a real event from his memory, right, and he's like, yeah, yeah, and there was this one I remember this other woman and we became intimate. You're like, yo, what, bro, you're trying to act like you're not a sex krim right,
what what do you mean by this? Then he goes on, he brings up the art of the deal a bunch like he goes on, this is him, just the art of the deal, just to be like, because I'm so famous back then.
Right, and.
I sat down.
I believe I had some pretty big success then, and I was being talked about a lot. Maybe the Art of the Deal was out, you know, some time after that. I'm not sure, but I was well known and passengers are coming into the plane.
So now he's just talking about like he's trying to say, like I was just out of just like you know, I was really famous. I think what he's trying to say is because he does this all the time, like and a lot of people do this. If I was so famous, why would I be assaulting people. It's kind of like what the gist is here? And then he goes on again. He's gonna bring up fucking the art of the deal again, Like wow, just here.
He goes I'm famous.
I'm going to plane.
People are coming into the plane, and I'm looking at a woman on a grab her and I start kissing her and making out with her. What are the chances of that happening? What are the chances? And frankly, I know you're gonna say it's a terrible thing to say, but it couldn't have happened. It didn't happen, and she would not have been the chosen one. She would not have been the chosen one.
Wow, the chosen one. He doubled down on that. He was like, yeah, that's what I wanted to be assaulted, to be assaulted by me, She would not have been the chosen one. So is this the thing that you think through frequently and have like chosen ones that you're.
Yeah, I was just it's the art of the deal I was in. I was very fa It's like, you're like, bro, this, I mean, you know, my grandmother had her bouts with dementia towards the end of her life, and when you start to realize it, it comes out in these weird ways where it's like I wasn't even talking about that, right, you know, like or like just confusion around what the conversation is about and all that to say, this is
these the kinds of he's like off Mike. He had like little Q cards that he was holding, but he's like, I don't know, like he gave up on him once, like they got out of order and he was like, freestyle baby, It's time for freestyle.
Time for Trump to be Trump baby. Yeah, that's what That's kind of what his feedback has been to people being like, could you not be you? He's like, I can only be me and we'll see. All right, how are you feeling about like the debate? Uh? Just inherently I feel like shit about it. I feel like it's, you know, uh, scary because of how bad the last debate went for people who don't think that would be a good next.
President happens and Kamala bombs the fucking debate, Like, man, yo, I don't think that's going to happen. You could literally just not say anything and and look off do better than Trump in a debate. But it sounds like the plan going into it for Kamala Harris is to just look stable and like you're a leader. Right by that, it probably just means just ignore all the bullshit. So I think it's a pretty low bart clear.
All right, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back.
We're back.
And Tom Brady made his debut as an NFL broadcaster over the weekend, UH in what people have called the most scrutinized announcing debut in a decade. I did not catch it. So the reason this was a big news story is Tom Brady signed a ten year three hundred and seventy five million dollars deal with Box before ever having commentated a single game.
Wait, and is totally site unseen sight on.
Well, I mean I've seen Tom Bradley.
Sure, wait, but I mean, y'aw baby, Oh right, it's probably he'll like he'll stop in to just say something for like five minutes on a podcast probably and then leave, rather than like he called an entire game.
He's that's what they're having him do. They're like, this guy is gonna be fucking awesome at this.
I know. I mean, I know enough about Tom Brady to know that when he's just speaking, it is the most uninteresting shit I've ever heard of my life.
Yeah, they they didn't just like sign him to a massive deal to speak, you know, without a script for ten years in a row. They like double the fuck down. Like there's this commercial in which he gets visited by like past versus versions of himself, and he's like in the lab, like watching football, getting ready to do the game, Like he's watching tape and he's like, I'm just trying to be the greatest there ever was at like talking into a microphone for an ungodly amount of money. Every week,
and so they did all that. They like ran this ad repeatedly during the morning games and then he started talking, you know, then he got on camera. Also another thing they did just because like they're so into like we got Tom Brady everybody is. They like showed him watching a new Tostitos ad in which he's like one of the people, and like it's just it's just him with a rigid grin on watching it, like not.
Really his own commercial.
Yeah, what kind of y'all.
They're so stupid, man, what about Brady watching Brady.
Ye huh huh, okay, Brady on Brady on Braid. Yeah. Yeah, like they just like multiplicitied this shit. We can't get enough of Brady.
Even in the commercial. Dude, get Michigan, University of Michigan Brady, Get Tampa Bay Brady, New England Brady Brady. So many Brady's in the commercial. Then we'll do a thing. We'll do a side by side split screen where Brady can watch Brady in a tostitos ad with Brady.
So after all that, people seem to think Brady was only okay at the job, sometimes just straight up bad. Some of the reviews like there's this Guardian review that is so wild.
I'm like, I'm angry on Tom Brady's behalf. I was like, you're not talking to me like that the Guardian.
Yes. So I'm just gonna read some segments from this Guardian review. Even when the words did emerge with more fluency, the thoughts they contained were invariably dull and cliche ridden. The stats sheet for Brady's first half alone contained one high IQ football, at least three instances of He's just so athletic, and a Dan Marino quote deployed as a broadcasting hail Mary when it became despairingly obvious that Brady was approaching the end of a sentence with no natural
thought on which to terminate it. They also that review goes on to say, and this is where it's like, yo, is this person trying to like, there's this paragraph listening to these do we believe delivered hymns to organizational order? It was hard to escape the sense that Brady is a real company guy, the kind of shirt tucked in narc who would call coworkers out for not showing up
to the special quote. Games Day employees were asked to attend on their day off fucking ether random Guardian TV critic just fucking from Brady over and over delivered, we believe. Aaron Tims from The Guardian.
Do you want? You really want? The Fall of the Smoke?
You know?
It's funny because like when I read this, I was like, Okay, I gotta find like the just the one that sums it all up, and there isn't. I couldn't find one that like truly summed it all up because everything I saw was just like just generally bad, like uninteresting and like hey, Tom, like what's the key here? But going forward? Like they got to put some points up where He's like, hey, man, if they want to go forward, they got to stop
going backwards. Got a lot of negative yards from you know, penalties. But like, yeah, okay, so I get that. You said you were like hey in order like cool, yeah, but holy this is the danger of telling people they are the greatest of all time.
Where they've done a single thing.
Yeah, Like I get it, you know what I mean, Like I think a true goat knows they are the goat at one thing.
They usually they don't, but yeah, like Irina.
Williams wouldn't be out here being like oh yeah, here's my fucking you know, spoken word poetry that I'm getting into. Everyone like now look at me, right now, let me get all this money. But like Tom Brady, you're the goat at one thing, throwball okay, and like this is whole, like his whole you can tell. His demeanor too, was a little bit sort of like yeah, I'm killing it. Like in his I'm sure everybody around was like, oh my god, Tom, you're doing great. You're doing great.
You're doing great, Tom, really good one. It's just like people laughing like silently, but like you know in the background to be like, yeah, thumbs up thing.
The finance guy at Fox is sweating bullets. He's like, dude, okay, man, we boy in years, yeah, is even gonna be alive.
There's a former player, Greg Olsen, that was like new to like he and the guy Tom Brady did this with were like a new duo last year and like got rave reviews because he was just really good at put it, you know, weeding all this stuff together, and he was just really good at his job. And they were like, fuck out of here, You're no Tom Brady, and yeah, I don't.
I always want justice for Greg Olsen. Was trending good. Yeah, people kept being like, yo, they did Greg Olsen dirty.
It's yeah, people just think. I don't know, And it is interesting to me that, like it's not always like sometimes handsome movie stars translate really well into a director even though they're not like great actors. And I think that like that the way Ben Affleck and like you know, Mel Gibson and Kevin Costner and there's other better examples of this that I can't think of right now.
But.
And I think it's because they got to be movie stars without being able to act well, and so they like understand how everything works around them, whereas like really good directors like or whereas really good actors like Robert de Niro or John Trauturo, like they're the films they director,
like at least not like big massive successes. And I right, but like I don't I don't know the exact science of like who's going to be a good commentator, because like there's another quarterback who's like decent, Tony Romo for the Cowboys and he ended up being like a really good commentator, but like just to assume because he's best quarterback guy, that he's going to be possible to even listen to. Is so weird.
It's wild that I was reading a tweet that aged terribly from this, like talk sport radio dude, like this is on Friday, this guy twooted this. Tom Brady's Fox debut will be insanely good. He'll be terrific at everything, breakdown, criticism, fun stories, and every week this season we'll talk about what Brady said during the game on Sunday. It's simple. He wouldn't do this if he didn't know he could kill it, right, uh huh uh huh. In fact, did not kill it at all.
People who are massively famous for over a decade are always good at knowing their limits and yeah, having a good sense of how they're going to do it everything around there.
This guy, I mean, this guy isn't even the goat at describing what's happening in his own mind during while watching football, right, because at the very least, right, you'd think with someone with Brady's career has at least the ability to talk some fucking high level stratospheric x's and o's stuff that would like blow the normal viewer's mind. And I feel like, can you not even do that?
You know what I mean, like seem like it like I don't know, you.
Know, can you think about it? Like you hear like Kareem or like Magic Johnson or like basketball, like the basketball players they talk about the game and ways you're like whoa, and you're not even being paid to say this, Like you're just talking because you love the game so much, Like Brady's just not even capable of that. I think that's a huge red flag. But hey, you got the name. You're paying thirty seven and a half million dollars a year for it for the next ten.
Good luck to you, good lad speed. Yeah yeah, yeah. I feel like something about being the goat like doesn't necessarily because like Jordan, I feel like wouldn't necessarily translate well to like insightful commentary. His main Like the thing you always hear about Brady is like, man, he works really hard. He's intense, he's super competitive. He will monitor every single gram of every piece of food that he
puts into his body with intensity. But that like does not necessarily lead to being somebody you want to hang out with and watch a football game, which is ultimately what this job is.
The guy who's measuring his food down to the microgram doesn't know how to have a loose conversation with someone.
So we'll see where we won't. We'll check back.
We'll check back Tom.
Yeah. And finally, on Friday, Aischanor Esgie, a gay an American citizen from Seattle, was shot and killed by the Israeli military at a peaceful protest in the West Bank, and the US government has responded with the policy equivalent of a shrug emoji. Crickets.
Yeah, Like, there's really like we're not hearing anything directly from the President or Harris nothing. The wildest thing, okay, right, because this is not the first time the like the IDF has shot and killed an American. I mean Sharina bu Ackley was a journalist who was shot and killed
by the IDF in twenty twenty two. That the way, the like, if you google right american killed west Bank and you just look at the news things, it's like the passive voice and lack of like attribution to who may have done the killing is mind blog.
Blog possible, don't know what happened here?
Like on CNN it's aid family of American killed in west Bank blames Israel for her death.
That's wild whoa they do.
Okay, the CBS news American woman asen or Aggie killed at pro Palestinian protest in Israeli occupied West Bank. AP news did a good job. Israeli soldiers fatally shot an American woman at a West Bank protest, a witness says, And yeah, it just like just not it's not even journalism. And that's what's like so fucking upsetting about all this
shit is it's you. Even even as you described the story, maybe your headline is misleading, but your story will ultimately say that she was shot by the IDF, But you don't want that to be the headline because you're trying to protect sort of the the reputation of the Israeli military, who at this point the reputation couldn't be further like underground. But yeah, it's all again because we're this wasn't they said violent behavior was happening because someone threw a rock.
Yeah that and blinken is like we just got to gather the facts here, investigate this.
Ohoo, well we're calling on Israel to investigate themselves.
Okay, people, the people who did the thing, Okay, yeah.
Okay, okay, okay, that that'll that'll work, that'll work. Yeah, this is just it continues as like there's just there are more incursions into the West Bank and yeah, this is a twenty six year old who just graduated. Yeah uh and you know, was there to protest what was happening in the West Bank and you end up being shot by a sniper. Yeah.
No statement from Biden Harris or any administration official. So I don't know.
Let's yeah, come on, y'all, please just do the bare minimum here, like to stop treating people like they don't know what's happening and act like there's something you can do, like this is the like the worst look is just to be like all right, I don't know, I don't know. You see Project twenty twenty five. That's bad. That's probably what's gonna be. Yeah, well, we'll see. We'll see what other stories take the place after like an American another
American citizen is killed. But hey, dude, go on, do you thing. Empire, keep on empiring.
All right, those are some of the things that are trending on this Monday morning, September ninth. We are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to you tomorrow.
Bye bye