That Ain’t Kate! Recessions Are Healthy! 03.20.24

Hello the Internet, and welcome to Season three thirty, episode three of US Day production of iHeartRadio. This is a podcast where we take a deep dive into America's shared consciousness. It's Wednesday, March twentieth, twenty twenty four, three twenty twenty four.

Good buddy, yep, guess what. It's National Proposal Day.

So I hope you get off your keyster and start asking people to marry you, all right, because that's what it's supposed to be today.

Multiple people.

I'm averaging three to four people a day on National.

Prong handshakes of mutual benefit type proposal.

Exactly business oriented. You're gonna want to hear me out here. You're gonna want to hear me out here.

I know what you think.

Good for your career and mine.

It's also National Ravioli Day, so shout out rao, Wow, Yeah, that's convenience.

Yeah Ravioli Day. Shout out to ghost Face, shout out to Zaggots. Sketches from Yeah.

Each word more useless than the last. My name is Jack O'Brien aka oh.

Oh Oh Brian, you know, co host of the Daily's Guys. That is courtesy of Oh Ship. I cut the name.

Off fuck me. No, no, I did it again.

Myself. God, I humiliated my team.

Oh no, it's okay, you got no h m hm oho.

Wow, I'm sorry. I just got distracted by I'm on I'm on Twitter now. Actually I'm not.

I'm already dude, I'm trying to find Kate Middleton where she asked.

I just got some good intel about Kate Middleton. Is really cool thing.

This guy used a I to make like the coolest muscle cars and the strollers, so like for that real motor head dad.

What if a car was a guy.

I'm just saying, like, has anyone ever done anything with it? What if my baby was a Dodge dart?

And I'm not talking Lightning McQueen style. I'm talking about a guy. Yeah, I'm talking about Titan style, a guy car man.

Yeah, well this is awkward. Discord just crashed on me and then said, well this is awkward.

You know the host of the dailies, that's from hand, that's from Hannah. Dude, is it? Oh? Brian, you know Jack, you know that one is.

Courtesy of hannahamic you aka Hannah Soltas on the discord. Shout out to you, Shout out to Uh they said, aka to Magic by Pilot, more popularly known as the Ozempic song.

Yeah, ozampic, Oh oh ozampic.

That's that's mainly how we know it, and that will be its lasting cultural legacy. Uh. Anyway, it has become so holl.

Sampic.

You know.

Oh, my shits are probably really weird. H I'm thrilled to be joined as always by my co host, mister Miles Gras, Miles Gray k Look at this photograph.

It was altered on Cage's behalf. Yes, is she in MI six stage abroad? Or was she buried with the queen and her dogs and the palace won't steal the book? That she's not in Piers Morgan's trunk. Is she a vampire and that can't be filmed? Or in android?

They need to rebuild, all right, shout out Salvador, jolly, you know, just giving me a chance to get that nickel back and then intersect that with the Kate Middleton whatever the fuck is going on over there?

Thing? I think we know love that she back, Yeah, she was just she's back. She's back.

She was grocery shopping the whole time.

It's a Dave situation. Dude, it's a Dave situation. I trust it's.

The Crown that is my one pot. I'm very generally, very skeptical, but I do trust the Royal family and whatever they tell me.

Yeah, if we can't trust them, who.

Honestly, Honestly, We're thrilled to be joined Miles in our third seat by one of the very faces on Mount Zeitmore, an Emmy nominated writer.

Artist, comedian behind many of the most acclaimed podcasts like back Cast, Ghost Church, The Bechdel Cast, the author of the New York Times best selling book Raw Dog, and her newest podcast, Fifteen Minutes, is dropping in May.

It's just.

I'm So Bad aka The Dogmeister A K. J Lo The Real One, the real, real real Me, the real, real real jal to Boston.

There you go.

I'm going to release my Yeah, my documentary is gonna be the real real Me right.

From the heart, mind, Dreams and Souls of Jamie Lotus.

Trailer, My Galactic, Michael mich Galactic, Like what is it, Michalactic. Group of celebrities is going to be. It's going to be. You guys will be there.

Oh I think you said celebrities.

Though the look, it's but like the real real me is this podcast. It's like, you guys, the Dope Boys will be there, they'll be there as well. There you know it's there.

Does her movie like take place in like a heaven of celebrities? The the other j.

I'll be honest, the other j Lo's movie. I didn't get through it. Through it. I wanted to watch it so that I could. I started it. I got about halfway in, and it is just like a series of disjointed bad music videos, but it's connected by Jlo in therapy, and her therapist, of course, is Fat Joe. And Fat Joe is like, well, why don't you say, like it's about her journey to find love? So you I think Ben Affleck shows up in the back half. I didn't

Jane Fondane Fonda, Jane Fonda as like Sagittarius.

Oh, they're all playing different sides. Neil deGrasse Tyson is there. It's a weird group of people, and you can tell the way it was filmed that none of them were in the same room.

Right.

But what I really wanted to watch it and why I'm going to get through it is because the real good movie is the documentary about the making of the movie, in which all twelve celebrities are like, Jlo, you shouldn't do this. It doesn't make any sense.

Really. Yeah, I was reading the Vanity Fair piece that came out in advance of it, where all the best parts are things like Jane Fonda being like, I.

Don't know, girl, Like I don't know if I would do this if I were you, but like, I guess if you really want me to, I guess, but like, for real, I wouldn't do it.

I truly, I take I would take Jane Fonda's pr advice very seriously, right, but Jlo did not listen. I guess. I don't know. I'm excited to watch it. I guess. Like there's a good portion of it is her like being stressed out to Ben Affleck on the caw and him being like, it's all good, babe, don't worry.

Are you smoking inside? Again, no fucking wind. Okay, So let's see post malone. Jack, that's your zodiac sign. Post Malone is the Leo. Yes, very strong post malone energy so much. Shane Fonda is Sagittarius. Sophia Virgara is cancer.

Huh.

Jennifer Lewis is you know, obviously playing twin duty here as Gemini. Trevor Noah, Libra, Kim Petris is Virgo Okay, he keep palmer. Oh yeah, this is someone's described as a spot on Maya Angelou impersonation as Scorpio.

Wow, do you catch it? I guess I'm never looking for a Maya Angelau impression.

Yeah, and then that's right.

Keep your head on a swivel out there looking for the Maya Angelou impressions.

You never know you got, they'll slip right by you.

But it really like I had only seen the preview, but hearing the summary, it really feels like she was conceiving this with the idea in mind that in a thousand years people would still be like puzzling over this and like looking for the like theological implications of the universe that she had created.

I love that. I feel like Jlo is just like such very a powerful example of like someone just has not said no to her in a long time. Yeah, and watching that erupt, I'm very I mean I have to support the Jlo industrial complex. I'm a part of it.

Yes, yeah, right right right, one of the foremost parts of it.

Yes, I this is the real, real, real me.

Yeah, there's no such thing as there's no such thing as ethical consumption. And we finally gotten to the core.

This is the real, real, real Jamie, Jamie, what is fifteen Minutes about?

It is my new podcast. It's a weekly show where every week we take a look at one of the Internet characters of the day from grand Internet history. Our first episode is going to be a look back at the Hyde your Kids, Hide Your Wife phenomenon, and I'm interviewing Antoine Dodson himself. So it'll be a different character of the day every week starting in May.

Amazing.

I'm excited.

Well we are too.

We're going to get to know you a little bit better in a moment first. A couple of things that we're talking about later on. This is for some reason shaving up to be like our economic episode. You know, we had Jamie on and we were.

Like, I'm an economist.

We have one of our foremost economists on, So we're going to talk about how recession's actually good for your health.

We're going to talk.

About did you guys know asbestos isn't banned?

Hey? Just the love kind?

Oh Jack, I really did think you were about to be like, did you know if asbestos isn't bad?

Essentially and it melts in your mouth like it, it tastes good. It does taste better than you would expect. We'll talk about inflation, because that just keeps going up and people are like, huh, that's weird, that's not that's not what our charts say should be happening. The supply chain problem over why inflation.

Keep going on.

So we'll talk we'll take a quick look at that offer a very loose theory. We will check in with the Kate Middleton conspiracy theorists just to see how they're doing all of that plenty more. But first, Jamie Loftus, we do like to ask our guests what is something from your search history or we added a new wrinkle if you'd like, what's the most recent thing that you screencapped?

Oh?

Okay, so I'll give you both. Okay, the the thing I googled recently because I I fumbled, I don't really do Saint Patrick's Day since I moved here, but these are both Saint Patrick's Day related.

So I think it's a non holiday, like since I moved here.

Since I don't respect my family.

Yeah, but I did.

I did want to pre order it for next year because we recently were recovering The Departed on an upcoming episode of The Bechdel Cast, and I wanted to get the shirt that the Jack Nicholson character is killed in, the one that it just says Irish on it. He's wearing a green T shirt that has a shamrock, and you think it's going to say Boston, which would be on the nose as it is, but it insteads just as Irish underneath the shamrock. And that's the spoiler alert

Yeah, that's pois is he like in disguise as like a volleyball player or something. He's just that he's.

Never in disguise. Frank Frank oh Franco or whatever. His name is is the.

He's He's Frank Costello.

He's Frank Costello, Yeah he is. He is Irish through and through, and he doesn't care if it's on his shirt, which brings me to the thing I screenshotted, because I do think you know the fact that every movie about Boston takes place at either Harvard or in like three blocks of Southee. It troubles me. There's so much more

Oh wow, they just laid comment. How did your career ever recover.

From your fucking congressman? I flamed you.

I was his Looking at his political record is pretty hilarious because he's just like a famously not a great person. But yeah, no, I mean I was crying. I called my dad crying. I was like, they roasted my ass in the paper, and he is like, no, this is the best thing that's ever happened to you. It's funny.

Family, Yeah, yes, that's amazing. I mean you were crying. I remember that day as well as an Irish person, and my whole family was crying as well because because you wrote about us, because it was disrespect this disrespectful the.

Best day of your life with family, just had the.

Best day of our life. Like such an overstatement, like such an unhinged way to respond to that, Like it's truly like a five year old like being like this was the best day of my life. And then you ruined it with this comment that people in Boston South he likes to drink.

What is that? Even where do you even get this stuff from? He said?

The land Up guy, the guy who the guy who assaulted Iranian American students in the seventies. Yeah, so fucking wild.

I mean, yeah, his record is gross, like it's yeah, but I'm big at it against.

Yeah Irish, even though he was he was arrested for assaulting six Iranian students. Okay, in the seventies, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like in seventies.

It wasn't a place in the seventies, see dropped, they rocked.

Good impression of Bark Walver.

Oh God. If I had been there on that day that she was shadowing that bartender, things would have gone down a little differently.

Bro Boston dot Com wouldn't even exist.

You would have been written an article about how I was working out at three three in the morning.

Yeah, the tenor of that story would have changed quite a bit if Mark Walberg started doing push ups in the middle.

What's something you think is underrated?

The spicy potato taco at Taco Bell. Really, I'm really laying into it recently. Taco Bell obviously one of the best fast food options for people trying to eat less meat. I'm trying to eat less meat outside of hot dogs, which I don't count as a meat for me.

Oh come on, Mat Romney disagrees.

I'm trying to get burgers. I'm trying to get extraneous meat because I can't I can't get the hot dogs out of rotation, but trying to get right of other meat. So I'm I'm deep into spicy potato taco I can't. I can't say enough good things about it.

Is it as advertised or it's tagobo spicy?

First of all, yeah, okay, don't tell me that.

There's no potato.

What are they advertised? No, it's not.

There is just leftovers. But yeah, no, I've been I've been racking up the points with the with the spicy potato taco perfect. It's not too spice. I'm like, I can't handle it. Maybe that's where my true irishness takes hold. Can't can't really do spicy. And it's like it's like Chipotle Mayo spicy is what I would line it up with. It's really good. Two of those and you're just you're just set two of those at eleven PM. Maybe you're depressed.

Conceived, just hovering two inches off the ground. Yeah, yeah, tangy is like tangy is synonymous with spicy in a.

Lot of the the world of fast food.

But not to discharge that those those look good, I'm gonna find with them. This is this is an underrated that it's going to change my life.

I wanted to change your life?

What is uh, what's something you think is overrated?

Let's see. Okay, So I was going to say Pizza Hut. I just like I'm I'm wow.

Yeah, but they're the same family.

I know, I know, I'm coming. I'm I've got it on the brain. I'm coming off of I did a Dumb Boys episode yesterday, so I'm like, I'm in there, I'm thinking about ye pizza It's it's all of the Oh god, I'm Misremember we were recovering all of the restaurants that are o by the company Yum, which also like that also I guess owns like some weird proprietary like AI technology, which is kind of scary that aren't taco bells. So that was like Pizza Hut the habit

Counters not sexy.

And the pizza sucks. The pizza sucks.

It's like cheesy bread. I feel like there's no sauce really to speak of, right, is that still how.

Par It's greasy, That's what. There's a time and a place for pizza. Hut pizza with me, because that greasy ass crust. I'm like, oh fuck, yeah, it's like just all it's it's wild how greasy the fucking crust is.

It's it's nasty.

I just feel like that you're getting like Little Caesar's quality for like twice the price for no reason.

Yeah, that feels right.

Pisses me off. It's like the difference to me between Denny's and I Hop where I Hop caused like thirty percent more for like for what reason is unclear. I'm still mad about, Okay. Something that was overrated was the Minions tie in menu at I Hop in the summer of twenty twenty two. I still think about that a lot. That was so they like bana banana, yeah, but the titles were garbage. There was like one that I think about all the time where it was cold brew on

I think after buying it, do they still the thing? It was like, hey, man, if you come once, we'll give you a season brow.

Just give us twenty more dollars and you can come every day.

It's still that.

Yes, yes it's a little more expensive now, but I my favorite thing about it still is that you can bring your laptop there and just like write at most. So sometimes I'll just do that, I'll just write it most Anyways, I went to Minion's Land. They have a Minion's Cafe equally trash menu titles. I ordered something from there with Caitlin a couple months ago that was just called evil mac and cheese, and it was.

Why mac and cheese?

Why naming these?

Like it's truly, they're not even having the meeting, like the brainstorm. It's just first idea is the best idea.

It feels like a computer made the decision, or be a.

Grow coffee people mac, a human mind of any sort.

Yeah, they would. I would. I would punch these menu items up for free. They're leaving money on the table.

You just start Yeah, you just start leaving like little USB drives. You're like, I don't know. This is like a there's like a whole Canva presentation here for you guys to check out. You can integrate if you want to have all the PSD files there if you want.

Just call it cold groo folks. How hard could it possibly be? Yeah, I don't know.

I love I love the when you because I had a season past the Universal for like one time and we were like, oh, let's just upgrade it so we can come back. And I remember going back like twice and it would just to be like high at the fucking Whoville Christmas thing, be like oh my god, I went, and then leaving after ten minutes.

Yeah.

I like that they do. I think it's the most baller ship you.

Can get there on the train and then yeah, just like plant somewhere.

It's nice.

Meanwhile, families are making memories and I'm you know, on like mushroom pills at most yeah, googling stuff. It's horse ship.

The tables yeah yeah, yeah, they're like fucking dinner plates right now.

I feel like there's an alternate universe where Pizza Hut pizza parlors like stayed in business and have Wi Fi and are like a place where people just hang out all day and like work like.

Most places tried to. I mean, Chuck E Cheese tried to do that, which is like really weird, but it didn't.

It tried to be like a third the third sp besides working home. You just go and hang it, Chuck E Cheese.

Sure, childless adults come.

On in you I mean you kid. But in the mid twenty tens they were like, all right, we now serve coffee, We got a panini press. You don't need a kid, we have Wi Fi. Please come through. And it's like you can't really like I you know I did, but like you you shouldn't.

Yeah right right, it looks bad.

What if pizza hood had just like leaned into their literary kind of reputation with our generation because they were paying us to read books with personal pan pizzas, and they just became like the salon of the modern era.

Wow, I love.

Yeah that they just need to like get some like industry plants to form an algonquin table like.

Thing and a local pizza hut just big like pictures of pepsi and the thinking man's pizza.

Yeah there, Yeah, I like I was reflecting recently, not to keep talking about, but like I was reflecting recently on do you remember this is like ten years ago where Chipotle was trying to be the literary fast food restaurant. For a while, they were like publishing George Saunder's short stories.

On their bags.

Yeah, it's really bizarre.

It didn't work out. It's also like a thing that so pizza Hut kind of because they do sell caffeinated beverages. But like Chipotle is food that like drains your brain of energy. It's just like you were eating food that like makes you want to take a nap. It's a real weird fit for them to then be like and now it's a place where you can hang out and discuss ideas. It's like, no, you're putting yourself into a coma, Like that's what Chipotle does for you?

Yeah, I mean is that just me? Am?

I the only one who eats Chipotle to a degree.

That I think I believe they have to like if you want, if Chipotle wants me to read a book, they have to be like, it's and it is your bathroom book. It's the one that is like on.

Top of your toilet.

We have the best toilets in town.

Yes, exactly one.

Yeah, all right, let's take a quick break and we will be right back. And we're back, and let's talk about why recessions good good for your health?

Exactly, thank you, thank God, good news.

I don't even of course, because this book is good for it's bad for corporations, good for our health.

That's actually, let's not let's not let's not get too upset about a recession. But look, as a millennial, and many of us are here millennial or younger or slightly older in Jack's case. What I'm not that well anyway, I'm far too familiar with the recessions millennial ger z. But you exactly, that's my life. Actually, we forgot it's actually actually gen Z. We like, basically I'm gen Z

It is, and we'll get that.

Even though we may have gone to a dark place because the wealthy stole our futures, there is a bright side because new research suggests the receptions recessions actually are actually good for life expectancy. Quote in this study from like a health economist found that during the Great Recession from two thousand and seven to two thousand and nine, age adjusted mortality rates among Americans dropped half a percent.

For every jump of one percentage point in an.

Areas rate one more joldlessness, the longer people lived, especially adults over sixty four and those without a college education, and these effects were immediate and lasted for ten years agoing as research, it said, the effects are so large that it effectively provided four percent of all fifty five year olds with an extra year of life, Like some kind of fucked up video game. So oh wow, Actually,

Yeah, that was the thing that jumped in my mind, is that, like maybe people just didn't get as many flus because they weren't at work.

Or it could have been having to have that difficult discussion with yourself of having to decide whether you want to start a family or just continue eating taco bell hot sauce packets as a dinner.

But what's the catch here? Oh, guess what.

It's the fact the health benefits for a result of towns being so dead economically that pollution went down, specifically the right reduction in PM two point five, a particular particulate matter.

That's I don't this this very much rings to me of like how once a year they're like another sort of like poorly like all these poorly sourced research things where you're like and who said that like alcohol actually helps your liver and you should you actually should be drinking more of it of like we're like five hundred cups of coffee a day will turn you into god.

But also but it's kind of real in the sense that it's basically just saying it's like, because this is what they're saying, fewer people drive to work during our session, factories and offices slow down, people cut back on energy use, so all the reduced activity leads to cleaner air. It's like it is sol pollution that they're just like, oh, yeah, well, because no one's working, there's less pollution because we're already killing ourselves in that way that this is this added

Right, Yeah, they're like, we should be in a recession longer because then a tree might grow. And it's like, well, but how could we get a tree to grow while people have jobs?

But that's how that's how the wealthy are able to siphon up more wealth and a tree grows.

Yeah.

Yeah, My takeaway from this is just like, oh, man, like this system is terrible, but we do to this place where like the quality of our air is so much worse than they're telling us anywhere else except for this article where they're like, so it's okay that we.

Fucked the economy, Like that's fine, Like it just.

A little bit of truth like slips out where they're like, yeah, so don't don't worry about it too much because you'll you'll actually live longer because we have slowed down on

The murky thing too, which is like even with people without college education, which is what they mean, or like working class people who are living in areas that have less protections so they live in highly polluted areas. It's like, and there's even benefits for everyone whoa.

Yeah, but when it's air pollution or like shit that they put in the walls of public buildings, there's not a whole lot that can be protecting you. You'd think that people would be more up on this, Like the right yeah. Related story is that the US is finally sort of almost banning asbestos, which I would have thought was banned.

That was that like a moment of cultural like it wasn't right. Did people just really it was bad and then be like, so, probably don't use it. We're not gonna do whatever you want, but probably don't use it.

Yeah, right, they So I think they discovered that asbestos writ large, bad and banned all but the most profitable types of asbestos. Which profitable types, yeah, which have remained in use and contributed to the deaths of tens of thousands of Americans every year. Like what, that's absurd that? Yeah, that's how is this just.

A thing that we're.

Just not talking about all the time? Again, it just feels like one of those things that should be the only thing that newspapers write about.

Yeah. I thought the government had like a whole mission accomplished banner and shit in the eighties, being like we're done, folks, We're off that shit. Yeah.

It's like the famously like cliche poison thing, like you know, like there's Simpsons jokes, I'm sure about asbestos. Like it's just a thing that we've all known since I was born in the early two thousands, that we've all known was poisonous.

Yeah.

But yeah, the US is quote joining more than fifty other countries that have already outlawed the substance. The band comes after decades of pushback from companies that have used it and everything from consumer goods to manufacturing processes. That's in NPR. That's not like in some you know, left wing zine. That's yeah, they're just they've been using this shit.

For them, and is it. Yeah, it's just connected to I'm just shocked that people can still make money off of asbestos, like fucking pivot pivot from asbestos. It takes me back to I mean just I'm sure that there's been a lot written about it, but just like how they was characterized as like this, like i mean like as the villain of Ghostbuster again. Yeah, like the there were this ghoulish you know, kind of like kill Joy initiative, and then fast forward, you know, thirty forty years and

They showed them, right, I mean, are they counting like all the people that were basically exposed in the before times, because like one of my really good friends, their dad was in the Navy and there was asbestos all in those ships during the Vietnam War and they were just no respirator on just fucking taking lungfuls of that shit.

And then unfortunately got me. So the lioma from it.

Yeah, like you see sort of like the reverberations from our less regulated period. But then I'm like curious, like what is this form now? Did like the industry be like.

Oh no, this is like this one's like wayless like this one's more low risk. It's like low risk. I mean it's still this beestis, so there's some risk.

But it seems like they're saying that the use of chrysotile asbestos or chrysotil I don't know how to chrysotile asbestos. You're gonna get sued jack for defamation for not pronouncing this form.

They need to work on.

The branding of this type of asbestos because I don't even know how to pronounce it.

Figure it out.

Yeah, yeah, you'll meet christ in a while.

But they say that particular type that hasn't been banned is linked to the deaths of tens of thousands of Americans over here.

Okay, so still fuck wow, I what is I guess, like, I'm curious what those deaths are classified as, like language wise, because I want to believe if like the cause of death was listed as asbestos poisoning, we would be hearing more about it, but I don't know if there's like a get around uple sort of more ordinary sounding cause of death, because you can't classify asbestos as natural causes, right.

I think it's one of those things where it's like, well, you could have gotten lung cancer from any one of these things, but you know, we we all kind of have have air suspicions, and then like scientists are like, yeah, no, this is probably the number of people that are being killed by this on a regular basis, based on like the scientific evidence that we have.

Right, yeah, oh interesting this so this was this was truly It's like the articles treat it like it's some kind of like mythical subjects, like EPA bands the last form of asbestos, like like the boss level one that they're like, we couldn't get off of this one. But apparently it's used in a lot of friction like sort of heavy materials like break blocks and other gaskets.

Bring well, fortunately I don't use those, so yeah, you know, famously don't use you don't use brakes, just let the car coast to the quitters there for quitters.

Yeah.

The EPA proposed a two year phase out. Originally but that's been changed, giving companies up to twelve years to phase out this poisonous material following extensive being by chemical manufacturers.

Mister Asbestus stomped on down to the State House.

Yeah yeah, wag his finger in Joe Biden's face and.

He's like, I'm sorry. So that I mean that is to the tune of thousands and thousands of lives.

Yeah, okay on a daily basis, being like lives are being you know, negotiated, Like it's truly what I mean. It reminds me of the story that I bring up a lot on the show, but I like, I can't get over it, where you know, Johnson and Johnson and like makers and producers of talcum powder like new in

Like, hey, that's some guy's dad, Jack, that's.

So, And that guy used that money to send his kids the best schools the money could buy. And his son is Brett Kavanhall. So like, it's yeah, the bad guys want essentially, and they can't.

They keep winning. You know.

That's like it's I feel like that is the true American tale, Like Fibal, this is this the real American tale, the one that like tells you how things actually work. Guy like lobbies the government to allow corporation to continue giving people cancer and uses his winnings to get his son on the Supreme Court.

Yeah, to create one of them spawns.

Those are the same type of people who be like, God is so good to us. You're like, no, you fucking freak. It's it's the system we live under, white supremacy that is very good to you.

That it was good to you. Oh, we're just so blessed. We're so blessed.

Anyways, So that was a happy segment. We're going to take a quick break and we'll come back and get to the real news aka Kate Middleton conspiracy theories.

Yeah, and we're back, and all right, we've got big news.

Kate Middleton has now been spotted and spotted. I'm gonna put spotted in quotes in a video of her leaving a grocery store.

Kate billed.

I watched this video in question just so we can all sure.

Yeah, I feel like I don't I don't know. I I think I clicked on one thing and now my algorithms fucked.

Like, so here we'll put bring it up on miles just like you don't have to further.

Wait, why aren't they showing us the garish darn video? Kube?

Oh yeah, yeah out in I was getting all these targeted posts for like I used AI to clean up this image mistake number one and then and it's not her. It's not absolutely not her, mate, It couldn't be her.

Are you kidding me?

It's Hurrycane, It's Hurricane massive.

Mate.

The thing with like stories like this are like, even if there is like even a shred of truth to the conspiracy theories which with the royal family like they could be, it's everyone's being so annoying. Yeah that you're just like, I don't know, call me back when they figure it out.

Okay, that is truly, Like I just want to watch the documentary. They're walking, They're walking, what's happening?

That's them?

Will's is wearing a hat, she is wearing f leisure, she's smiling.

Big dude, there's so many This really is like a Zapruder film, like Back into the Left.

Yeah, yeah, you just have like five seconds between a car and like them getting to their car.

Yes, this is a Zapruder film for even more annoying people.

Yes, yeah, for the worst car.

Anyways, you guys just received an email, a forty five page PDF that I put together just kind of Oh, you weren't laying out where, you know where? Okay, so where is this person shooting from. They're shooting down so like from an angular perspective, like that doesn't really make sense. And then if you see the three d readout of bone structure, it makes it clear that's not Kate is JFK Junior.

You added this parenthetical at the very top of this PDFI that says, read in the voice of Gilbert Godfreed, it's.

Important to me.

Okay, sure, I guess that gives it a little bit more gravitized, the voice of the most gravitz.

There's a lot of long descriptions about how how this is that this woman is beautiful, but not the kind of beautiful that Kate Middleton is and then there's a couple of pages on what you mean by that, and I don't know that it's necessary.

With a lot of geometric lines, like you're trying to break down.

Some I don't I don't know.

Now.

I'm just saying you can tell this woman is Welsh and the skull shaped and obviously we know that Kate's an that's true. Like, I don't don't get me started, Like that's another PDF. I'm seriously don't get me started, because I will be canceled by the end of this episode.

People.

It's just like she doesn't even know she's beautiful, you know, And that's.

What that's the hottest, dude, that's the hottest. We don't even know.

Because then you can tell them and then they know, so maybe they won't believe it.

Yeah, like they don't believe it and then they're like, you're a fucking liar.

And I just got to the page that said I wish I could take Kate Middleton's glasses off so she couldn't even wear glasses.

Yeah, that is an important part of it, is that I take her glasses off and say, there you are, like Bradley Cooper did the Lady Gaga when.

She took off the makeup, which means you would have to like put them on.

Also, yeah, because she doesn't wear glasses. But it's just an important kind of dramatic moment in Yeah, so a lot of this is just kind of fan fiction of like me finding Kate Middleton had.

Even admitted it, Yeah.

Putting glasses on her when I first find her.

The amount of detail is like that Ai Willy Wonka script from The Glasgow.

It is mostly written by Ai, so you'll notice a lot of misspelling.

Yeah, it's Kate's eyes light up with a sense of hope that only a newlywed could imagine.

I don't even.

Okay, I don't know what to make of any of this. I just know that it is absolutely like demolished an already bleak newsfeed.

Yeah, because it's it's it's only like there's nothing fun.

We're always saying like it.

Honestly, there's so much lon information out there that I'm I'll believe whatever, like if whatever, if it came out and like, no, it was a body double, and I'm like, all right, I.

Guess well, I also believe that they would use a body double to cover up the fact that she possibly got like a facelift, you know, like there's all of these sure, I don't know, Like, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know the analysis of like where her eyes are. Do you this one picture where someone just scribbled with their finger on their iPhone, like look at this straight line from her eye, like where her eyes are in relation to William's body at completely different perspectives, and be like, there it is. Yeah, that's the thing.

I know.

I wasn't like do it.

I didn't have my pen I was just using my finger on my iPhone, so like, yeah, I guess it's not perfect.

Sorry, Miles, didn't use your name. We were trying to help. Yeah, I do feel like Internet detectives, like it's always does there within six posts of going full phrenology and like and what and be like, well if you look at the shape of the skull and you're like, now, let's not do that, like they're I don't know, but also you know, of course, of course the royal family is doing something fucking awful.

Like right, yeah, but it's like we don't want to, yeah, we don't want to say the awful thing. Like people people's brains are rejecting. Like in one hundred years, people will look back and be like, oh, the royal family was doing like all these awful things and like had stolen all this money and we're still collecting taxpayer money and you know, but now, like our brain doesn't acknowledge

Yeah, at very least. Yeah, it's like a clear demonstration that there is just like sub zero trust in anything. I mean, the fact that they were like sort of blacklisted by credible news sources is very telling as like a reliable source. But I feel like the truth has to be somewhere somewhere in the middle here.

Yeah.

People also notice the video has Christmas decorations visible, so obviously it was taken months ago, despite TMZ sharing the video metadata including and indicating other words. And then like a person just like went to the store and was like, yeah, I guess they still have those fucking decorations. Oh God damn it, God damn it, damnit, Kate Middleton's alive.

Probably we were hoping she was dead.

Like what what eggs are your basket?

What basket are your exit?

I do feel like we get like our best Internet can be is and like random things to fixate on when things are really not going well in the world, when things are really bad, because you're just like I just need something to fixate on that is not that's a little narrower than the scope of Doomed.

Earth human history.

Yeah, yeah, it's like, well, look, yeah, sure the corporations will pulled the fasten on all of us, but the monarchy with this photoshop, I don't fucking think so.

I'm sitting at home breathing in my asbestos zooming.

In well, I'm taking a puff off my asbestos inhaler.

Yeah, but you can see her eyes are too close together to be as beautiful as Kate.

That's where it's again, we get her the spacing of her neta.

No, no, I believe.

She maybe of sob Saheran just stops fucking stops please right now.

They can't help themselves.

All right, Well, Jamie, what a pleasure having you on the daily get as always? Where can people find you follow you all that good stuff find.

Me anywhere you like. Start listening to the new podcast fifteen minutes that's going to be starting in May. Keep listening to the Bechdel Cast. If you're an Inner, if you live in the UK or Dublin, We're going on a short European tour at the end of May into the beginning of June. Check that out.

Great opportunity to do some undercover work on the Kate Middleton mystery.

I am being brought by by an agency that may or may not have killed MLK. Not to brag, but so I did a thing. I worked for the FBI.

I tried Obama. He wasn't able to get to the bottom of it. Yesterday.

Oh so I turned fed. Oh now we're all yelling at women. Stuck yelling at women. God damn. Anyways, I always think of them like Julia Child was in the CIA. Sometimes that just reoccurs to me, and you're just like she met her husband in the CIA.

Wanda Sykes worked for the NSSA. Come on, like everyone has their origin story.

We all make mistakes, is the point. We all got to make a living working for the CIA. Anyways, Yeah, I'll be on this. I'll be touring for the CIA in May and June by Raw Dog. If you haven't read it, that's all real good.

And then Raytheon is co sponsoring the tour, right, they are.

Huge yet they actually they have we and and we have Craytheon Funko pops that we're gonna being after the show.

Made purely out of asbestos.

But yeah, take a whiff.

It's actually we we we will be selling them in international waters.

So it's actually yeah, if you if you paddle out after this show.

Just don't get them wet. Don't get them wet. Oh my god, do not.

It will actually kill most of the marine life in and around Europe.

Is there a work a Meetia Jamie you've been enjoying.

I've got it. I've got a tweet. I've got a tweet here. I want to shout out the Zoe Kazan tweet from yesterday, contextually coming on the heels of the executive published letter essentially denying any wrongdoing or murder in Gaza. Zoe Kazan said, kind of shocked that anyone who saw zone of interest could be shocked by what Glazer said at the Oscars. It's a good thread, sort of one of the few prominent voices in Hollywood that has kind of called out this backlash for the for the crock

Amazing, Miles. Where can people find you as their work media you've been enjoying, Yeah.

Find me on the at based platforms at Miles of Gray. If I'm Jack and I on our basketball podcast Miles Jack and I'm Mad Boosties, and you know, find me on for twenty day Fancy as well.

A tweet I like from past guest Amy Miller at Amy Miller tweeted spending one hundred dollars on groceries, This inflation is out of control. Spending one hundred dollars on dinner in La Wow, this was actually really cheap for two people thinking.

Oh my god, it was like it's like so cheap. It was like one hundred bucks for two people walk out of here.

Tweet I've been enjoying John Drake Drake Gatsby tweeted me, but what about the time I saw eight huge claw marks in the sand? Jesus, Oh my god, I saw that too. I have no idea what that was. I was scared. You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore. Oh, Brian, you can find us on Twitter at Daily Zeitgeist. We're

Oh?

Man, Well, we've been talking a lot about this track. At least a remix of this track called Sprinter by Central C and Dave. But there's a remix of it that I like playing because it's more like a little bit housey dance music version of it. It's Sprinter, but the TJ remix t J y Remix. It's only on soundclouds because you know, it's a non authorized remix. But hey, at least, at least have you said, he's just putt nine gallon in the sprint off, and that's.

All we need to be saying. So anyway, TJ Sprinter Remix, here we go.

All right, we will look after that in the footnotes today, these guys the production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever find podcasts are given away for free. That is going to do it for us this morning, back this afternoon to tell you what is trending, and we will talk to y'all then bye bye bye