Hello, Froggy, leave it, leave it, Hello the Internet, and welcome to this week Trench super Bowl Monday, Super Bowl Sunday Hangover episode. Yeah, I could care less about the team struggling team.
Uh I guess the forty nine ers. Yeah, they lose, they lose. I'm jack. That's my.
This is the episode where we tell you everything that was trending over the weekend, what's going on with us, all that fun stuff. The super Bowl was last night. I am staying preyed up. That's all I learned. That's all I took away. As Mark Wahlberg told me to stay preyed up.
You got to day prayed up. Hey, Hey, hey, day prayed up. Stay prayed up. Bro. That's what me.
That's how me and my friends say goodbye to each other. Anyways. Hey, he's like bringing it to a mass audience.
So man, say hi to your kids. Man, say hi to your mother for me, Man, say hi to your mother. Say they prayed paid up, Stay prayed up, right, bro? All right, Big night for Boston, Big night for Boston. Holy shit.
You know, the Patriots may not be in a Super Bowl for a long time, but the city of Boston well represented wonderful culture well represented in the advertisements.
Yes, Miles, you are in Los Angeles.
No, I'm in atl Georgia, and it's you know, what do they do for you? It's a raining like planet, Like, Yeah, i'd be get to go a different place, exact same weather.
The problem, man, it's clear back here now, man. Also, the studios here are so nice in Atlanta.
Yeah, oh my god, oh my god, oh oh I did he.
Didn't play that, did he? Yeah? He did. It was just for a brief dude. It was like his second his cattle.
It's so dense he could only do like one bar of a song as like a transitional line.
Yeah. Are we gonna talk about the halftime show. We'll get to that. We talk about the super Bowl for sure, halftime show.
But I am Jack beats Miles. I think I already said that. Before we get to what was trying to go over the weekend, we do like to tell you what's going on with us with a little overrated, underrated. Yes, you want to kick us off with something, Miles, you think is underrated underrated? Mid toilet paper, Just that nice mid toilet paper. The fancy shit sucks too fancy, like the overly quilted, overly quilted you're dealing with.
I'm sorry, but you're gonna be picking bits. But you know what I mean, it falls apart. And here's because on the spectrum of toilet papers, on the low end you have I don't give a I don't give a fuck about my orifices and the damage I'll do with this rough what they call paper toilet paper.
Yeah, it's like tracing paper at the lowest end. Yes, exactly. Yeah, it feels like most in common with like yeah, the rice.
Paper, right, or like a dental bib that they pin on you good for it, or they're all in the same family, they get all for the same supplier, just rough rough. And then on the other side of it, you also have like when it's too soft, the softness is over emphasized and you actually have something that is there. The structural integrity is compromised the second it interacts with any kind of moisture. So as I as I you know, sit here and think about it. I was in the
hotel room. The hotel room I was in was on concrete paper tier almost to mid level tier, which I respect.
But you know, also when you use a bid day. When you use a.
Bidet, the toilet paper typically just there for a little dabbin, for a little dry in.
So it does. But yeah, I'm just saying we need to respect.
Let's really stop buying the super expense of ship.
When it's like it's like wiping your ass, you're just encouraging then you guys.
Yeah, I don't need to wipe my ass with newspaper anymore.
I'm I'm past that, and I'm past wiping my ass on pillows. It was a fun frank in junior high. But with the pink eye outbreak, I realized it's a bad thing.
And that horrible outbreak of pink eye that yeah, they say we.
Lost our flag football championship game because of me.
Quarterback Woolen shot quarterback and his eyes were just swollen shut.
Oh no, oh my god. Yeah, I had a I just I'm very thankful for the for the advent of the beday era of my life.
I'm living the bday era.
I just had a day over the weekend where I was away from my home for a long period of time.
And my Yeah, I was just miss isn't it.
I was begging for the bidet, you know, just had to get back, and you know, I'm sorry, sorry for listeners anyone who didn't want to hear that, But then that's just the way it is.
I'm just being honest. Mindrated. So I gotta like low power mode.
I just I'm sure I'm missing something here, but like the low power mode on iPhones, I just like use that whenever I think to turn it on, and I've never noticed a difference in the funk like how my phone functions. I'm also stupid, so I'm you know, I'm putting the question out into the ether, like what is what? Why wouldn't you just always have low power mode on
and just have longer battery life at all times? Like there's nothing that prevents you from having it, like turning it on at ninety percent and just leaving it there.
Wow.
Oh, because you're doing the uh the Kramer and Newman thing where they're trying to see how far they could go on?
Man, Yeah, like could I could I get two days of usage from a single charge?
Oh?
Probably not, but you know, yeah, I've had to do it, you know, when traveling, I've had to do that. But I just I don't I don't understand what the I've never been like, man, low power mode is really fucking me here, you know.
Right, Ah, yeah, you don't have someone going, well, there's your problem.
You got all little power mode all the time. Yeah.
I also, I should say, I also leave my flashlight on it all the time.
The person. Yeah, yeah, I know, honey, I know, I know. Sorry.
I shouldn't be on the phone in the movie theater. I'll be I'll call you right back after. Yeah, we're taking the second act.
I just love the ideas. I mean, you see that. I've caught my mom. You know, people flashlight on, Yeah, they forget. I remember one time I think my mom had it on all day.
Yeah, and I remember it like because I was with her all day and I remember helped, like we were looking for something in the morning, and I remember she turned it on and then like in the middle of the day, I was.
Like, you still got your flash not okay, miss. Never know, you never know where you're gonna need that.
I think the one thing that could only be perceivable as I do a little research, is if you have like the like a newer pro motion display on your phone, then it just limits the display refresh rate to a paltry sixty frames per second.
Yeah, maybe, yeah, And I wonder if it's like actually diminishing the quality of pictures I'm taking while it's on low power.
I imagine the photo sensors are like work at the same But I have.
A Nokia thirty three ten, so that's also people should take that into account.
I'm back here, right right, okay, all right? What is uh? What's something you think is overrated? My mouth?
I keep saying this, but travel? Oh, first of all, update I was traveling. I want to go see how much checks mixed cost at the Hudson News at LAX four ninety nine.
Lax, what the shoutout to Lax? What in the fuck?
It was only like a dollar more than it was in my rite aid, because I remember I went to write aid earlier this week. I said, let me just let me just just for a baseline, see what the checks mixes.
More bake news, I mean I think I do.
He's did He didn't say something about he's like tired of the shrink flation crap that the snack companies are doing. Anyway, But I'm always thinking about food because I love food. I'm always hungry and I love to eat, and I was just thinking that, Like I talked about this when I got back from Japan too, that like we just American food culture is just fucked up. Like the food
itself is great. We have a lot of great food that has come out of the United States, and it's not about food, but capitalism has destroyed our underlying beliefs around food, and I like, again, I talked about this a lot. But if you eat outside of your house, that's a luxury, and we are denied opportunities to socialize with friends and family if you go out or something and maybe just get like one bite to eat without it being a financially fucking tense situation most of the time.
So so you're saying that like in other countries, it's not eating outside your house is not a luxury.
It's like kind of more powerful there there are you.
There are places we can be like, oh, this place is cheap, Like we can go and at least we can sit down, we can have a drink if we want, we have a little bite to eat, and it's not like just you know, exorbitant prices. But really, I say this because I thought of something in my hotel room late at night as I was trying to fall asleep. Is we need to nationalize the sandwich, and we need what we need is to set a standard for what a sandwich can cost. And I'm not talking like a
HOGI those those are more bells and whistles. I'm talking about your standard issue two pieces of sliced bread with something in between sandwich. Like, we need to find a way that we say we cannot go over a certain price for this thing.
There's no need for it. And also we can help people.
I'm saying seventy five cents seems like a fair price, Like if you're just had seventy five.
Any sort that's like well talking fucking call it.
I don't know, a fucking egg salad, a turkey sandwich.
Ham and cheese, cheese, a veggie, whatever.
But like there has to be a there has to be like a floor and that we are a ceiling and a floor that is set in a way that we're like, we don't go over this. We this is part of the social contract that a sandwich that's simple can be accessible to anybody because fast food is inaccessible. I just like I'm just thinking about all this stuff. Like like in Japan, I always use this an example, like ramen is a working class food. It's accessible to everyone.
That's why, like I have trouble eating out, like having domin in like La because I'm like, I'm like, I can't. I can't wrap my head around a fucking eighteen dollars bowl of this shit. Like there it's understood, Like you can't. Don't start gouging people for this. This is a staple thing that we agree on costs a certain amount.
Can I make a request? Yes? Can we nationally?
Can Can we just take ramen as our national baseline food instead of a wonderbread sandwich?
That is a very American thought. And yeah, you know what, I like your thinking. I don't like because sandwich daughter.
Yeah, Like there's way better man or like a burrito something that I can buy at seven to eleven or the National Sandwich Dispensary. Yeah, and then take home and microwave, you know, with without it the sandwiches, the kind of low price point sandwiches. Uh usually get fucked up at something.
Understand that.
But but it's all to say that there is a way to get sustenance that doesn't cost too much money. And that's for you, for president, Thank you, because like in Asia other parts of the world, the seasoning part is already understood and it's a little bit delayed.
So we can't.
We don't want to jump over and be like, well what about the brito, because they know what that tastes good. We have to accept our lot as Americans. This is our cheap food, and we do not go over a certain price for it. So anybody in a just in a pinch, whatever you can at least eat something. I just think it would have much I don't know, I think it would just be a net positive for our society.
I'm just envisioning a lot of like grilled chicken breast on white bread with a slice of cheese and a piece of wet lettuce, kind of making the whole thing, you know what I mean.
Yeah, I get that.
I think we can think a little bit bigger, you know, because everything is so mass produced, right, even if we're like pimento cheese. I'm saying that because I'm in Atlanta and I'm surrounded by it and my blood type is slowly turning into amento cheese. But like in mass you can find a way and keep your margins low. Like the whole thing is this is not going to be a great business model.
No, but exactly.
But how this food that people can afford is a bigger issue, and I think that's where I don't know.
That's what I'm saying.
We need to nationalize and be like, okay, you know what, we love your pimento cheese. Some of this is going to like the federal fund for our nationalized sandwiches.
It's just unrealistic. If it's not a good business model, it's unrealistic.
I know, that's what's so fucked up.
But you're a child if you don't if it's not a business model, if you can't explain to me how you're gonna get this thing capitalized, bro, how you're gonna get some VC funding. Some angel investors excited or.
On the right, they're like, this is big government coming for you and making us eat their prison food or whatever. I'm like, no, well this is already a prison anyway. Thanks for that realization, But we also need to we just have to have some level that we agree because food is so so ridiculous.
Man, it's just sir, all right, let's take a quick break.
We'll come back.
We'll do my over, which is related to some news stories. So uh, it'll get We'll get into the news when we come back.
We'll be right back.
And we're back, oh we are. And so my overrated is.
News stories that are called.
Anytime you hear this construction the real world insert movie, the real world Home Alone or something, the real world Gone Girl, the real world war fin. So if you're
seeing that construction, be very wary. I've talked about my you know, I the power of movies that I think movies like channel our national like unconscious, and you know, the ones that hit are expressing something that like we need expressed as a culture, and sometimes it's so powerful that they like the culture will manifest an actual real
version of that. Like I've always said that, I think the Dahmer thing might have come about because like he was discovered during the Sounds of the Lambs like mania, Like after that movie became a huge hit, they discovered Dahmer. He has all these bodies in his house and his freezer, and he's like, oh, yeah, I was eating them.
I don't I don't know that he was.
I think like he met the moment the the like and the and the police obviously like found that compelling, and you know, got on a bunch of talk shows because they you know, that matched what the people wanted.
Right, And I ignored that one victim that stumbled out of his house because I don't know, he seemed like he.
Had right exactly. So.
But there are these two stories that are kind of like, uh, making a lot of waves in the true crime world right now, that are examples of this. So there's the Natalia Grace story. You know about this.
I've heard about this, folks. Yeah, I've seen folks, you've seen this. You heard about this? Did you watch both seasons? I haven't watched.
Either documentary, I'm but I just became aware of them, and I'm like, this is exactly exactly what I'm always talking about. This couple adopted a child with Dwarfism from Ukraine and then like convinced themselves and a judge and a bunch of true crime podcasters in mainstream media outlets that she was actually an adult with Dwarfism.
I remember we talked about this on the show like years ago when it first came out, when like it was sort of like, what's going on, Like these people are claiming that she was like saying, like I'm gonna cut your throat and like she still stood over me with a knife while I was sleeping, Yes.
Which are like scenes from the movie Orphan. Right, And the plot the premise is the same plot as the movie spoiler alert for the movie Orphan. The twist for that is that the child ends up being like older, so they have sense, you know, they they convinced a judge that she was an adult. She was legally like her birthday was legally changed. Yeah, made an adult, and then the family just like dropped her in an apartment
to fend for herself like she was a child. They so they've they've done like the testing and like all the DNA and everything, and they're like, no, she's the age she said she was.
You may spoiler alert she got her age changed back. She did, she got was able to get her age changed after.
Such a wild story. And it's just the power of people, you know. The movie hit on this premise that people are like, oh shit, could you imagine?
It's weird though too, because like some people's even perception of her in their first hand experiences with her were tinged by this idea that she may be older or like when she lived in that apartment. Like in the in the documentary series, they talked to the neighbors and they're like, she was always like so obsessed.
It was kind of weird.
She'd always be like when you're going to be home, or like when we'd get home, they would come out and like knock on our door and like see what we were up to, And it's like there was really no boundaries, and like part of that was sort of you could say people were saying that from this perspective like kind of creepy. But then there's a version to her, like this wasn't a This was a child who didn't know anybody.
So imagine circumstance. Yeah, imagine a child is like, hey, what are you guys doing? Oh? What can I do? Stuff? That's what probably was fucking happening. Rather than being like, hey, where the fuck were you? You know what I mean?
It's just yeah, this this the story gets I guess even deeper because she was adopted by this other family. Now and the cliffhanger at the end of the second season. There's a spoiler alert if you're watching it and you're not caught up, but they seem to cast doubt over how like if she is sort of like always this kind person, or if she's a little more aggressive, or if there's just another family that was in over their skis and were like, something's wrong with her.
Yeah.
There's also this popular crime documentary, American Nightmare. I think it's called about a woman who was abducted her boyfriend reporter missing after he said he was drugged, and then like the police began to suspect him, and then she returned alive like three days later, and the police and the media immediately were like, dude, looks like Gone Girl to me. Do you see that movie Gone Girl that's out in theaters.
It's exactly what it is. Reminds me of no thought needed.
Here, So they like just assumed that it was a Gone Girl situation, right, she had like faked her own abduction, and and there was a real serial sexual predator who was out there and kept on doing it and had been doing it for years, but Gone Girl had just come out, So that's what the police went with. And it's just it's another like I mean, true crime is basically like the true crime obsession is America waking up to the reality that the police are like so bad
at their jobs. Yeah, and this is no exception. There's like there there was this serial predator who was responsible for the abduction, had been doing shit like stalking students for years in a different community, and like the police were dismissive of them, and like the students caught him, like figured.
Out who he was, like that he was.
Had a military background, he was a lawyer, like all these different things, and the police just more like, yeah, well that's what you crazy kid. Yeah, you go back to being a student. Detectives like, what do we got here?
Oh?
Yeah, she disappeared, came back a few days later. I've seen this one hundred times. It's a Gone Girl situation. Wait, you've seen it a hundred times from your experience as a detective. Now, I've seen the movie Gone Girl one hundred times. Really good, really out there. Anyway, this is like exactly like that, So we should just go with that.
Yeahs anyways, very I don't know, there's a real, uh, real attraction to bullshit.
That is, you know people imagine.
In movies if a movie says it, if you see it in a movie and then the police say it happened, I would be very highly suspicious.
Yeah, just like wilder than someone at a podium like in a police press conference, Like, yeah, it's an open and shutcase of the lovely bones.
What lovely bones on our hands?
We got a real I Am Sam type thing going on here.
What what what do you mean? Did you guys? Yes, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, got that messed up? Got that messed up? You thought it was the Sean Penn Yeah? Wait wait, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Not familiar, all right.
Uh, We're gonna check in with our two presidential candidates from the weekend. Trump, you know, continued to impotently rage at the mere concept that Taylor Swift would endorse Joe Biden over the weekend, you know, just revealing where the
anger of his follow his supporters comes from. All mad at Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift, and he is not making it easy for them to hide where that anger is coming from, because he's having a temper tantrum about how she should like him more in public, master with all the conspiracies, He's like, she should love me.
But why why should? I think?
This is the best part is that he actually is like, she should actually like me better than Joe Biden because.
I was responsible for the Music Modernization Act of twenty eighteen. Oh, there's no way she should endorse crooked Joe Biden, the worst and most corrupt president in the history of our country, and be disloyal to the man who made her so much money. Friend Travis, even though he may be a liberal and probably can't stand me. Exclamation point that that detailed, like adding that at the end, probably hates me so money.
Tight end boyfriend, even though he may hate me and think I'm just probably losing.
I we know he's impressed by big guys with muscles. Yeah, oh yeah, looks like an oak tree smuggling Christmas hands.
I mean the right places, The way he was, the way he was screams singing Viva Las Vegas from the podium when he raised that trophy, it was we've.
Lost, we lost. Folks were completely lost in his voice.
But yeah, he uh, you know, he loves a bit of MMA. So the Music Modernization Act and I guess maybe falls into that.
But yeah, it's like, I'm sorry, did you conceive the bill? Did you say? You know what?
As president, we need to address how royalties are paid on streaming services or whatever.
It sounds like him that sounds like that's true. Donald Trump, Yeah, you're right. Actually, what am I saying? Yeah? It's responsible just legislation based. Now. According to the key attorneys.
Behind the MMA, his comments were funny because he quote did nothing on air legislation except sign it. And she also suggested he quote doesn't even know what the Music Modernization Act does, adding that someone should ask him what the bill actually accomplished.
Yeah, I'm sure if someone said, Trump, uh, you know, can you tell us about the m m A, he'd start talking about UFC. Oh, for sure. There's no way. There's no way you could just lob that. And he goes, I get this, Dana White, really good friend.
I feel like he treats like the things that he signed during his presidency like their memorabilia. You know, it's like he doesn't know anything about it.
He just like collects full of bills that he signed.
Pretty cool life profile The New Yorker profile of Trump from like the early two thousands, where they're just like following him around and he's just showing them like the spot and loves signing Show and Tell by Hollyfield being like it's a pretty cool life, eh, Pretty cool?
Pretty cool?
Yeah, and it's and I'm glad that he's like, I'm the reason she made all the money. It's because the way the publisher worked for streaming platforms is the reason Taylor Swift made so much money, not because prior to that for music was so popular. But yes, but yes, that will convince her to say, bow to the man that gave you all your precious little pennies.
He also proudly stated that he would encourage Russia to attack any NATO members that fell behind in its payment during a rally, leading NATO's chief to suggest that those comments undermine all our security put American and European soldiers at increase risk. That doesn't really have anything to do with Taylor Swift, So I wasn't going to really.
Get it, so to speak. I'm not sure what that's all about.
That's the one part he told the truth about. And I'll put all of his brain power towards that statement. That seems a little more realistic.
Yeah, it does feel like the Biden campaign should just be running on. He's more likely to start World War three. He like seems to want to start World War three. Yeah, he might not know the difference between Mexico and Egypt, but yeah, we'll start World War three American democraphy.
Democraphy democracy is too amorphous of a concept for the regular voter.
But if you're like you.
Want to get conscripted in World War three, like exactly, then maybe be like wait what wow? But again that's a cynical politics. It's like Biden's whole things. She'd just be pointing at Trump.
Yeah, it really should.
Unfortunately, I know what's he gonna do. Be like, I can't get countries right in my mind.
Yeah, So that that did happen, just to like check it on the other side.
So he started out so strong.
He had the there was uh this Special Council Robert her report on Biden's mishandling of classified documents where he was like, you can't charge this guy. I mean, he's so old he can't remember shit. Is essentially he called him quote an elderly man with a poor memory who couldn't remember when he was vice president or even when his son Bo died.
That's actually in the document.
Yeah, oh boy, which is that's not good, That's that's not a resounding endorsement. Biden comes through and was like, all right, that's it stage of stage of press conference.
Oh no, right now, do you want to telepronster?
No, no, we're going off prompter. We're going off prompter Jack. Yeah. So I mean people are some people are like it seems a little mean and like bringing up the his son bo dying thing feels a little like wind crossy, but also like his memory was material to any conclusions that were reached in this investigation.
So I don't know, because if you're honestly, like, honestly, bro, this dude didn't remember, So I can't really say there was anything like untoward, Like this dude didn't even remember when his sun died.
So I'm like, how am I gonna? I don't think there's any malicious and.
Like I feel that, you know, it's it seems malicious or whatever. If you're so concerned about people the perception around Joe Biden's mental acuity, they're like.
Don't fucking shake the boat right now.
But they're both fucking in decline.
Yeah, So it's not like I can see how it would come up when investigating someone's mishandling of documents and they can't remember like that that they were vice president for a moment. He might he might be like, yeah, I feel like this is what's going on here.
Yeah, but I get it too, because he's like it was like a Trump sort of appointee sort of pattern of like the people involved. But sure, yeah, the fact remains Joe Biden can see dead people and he can commune with the deceased. Yeah, and also, maybe you know, the memories a little dodgy at times.
So you did this impromptu press conference that I have to assume was just like he asked for it, like forty times before they even acknowledged that he was asking for it.
Yeah.
In the first a couple of times, it was like that conference. Sure, let me tell the press conference. Okay, I give me ten minutes.
Let me just get the press pool together in the conference room really quick.
He goes in.
It's all his staffers still just fucking pretend to be the press.
Okay.
He's like, hey, hey, hold on, hold on, no, that's my assistant.
So when asked about his memory problems that is impromptu press conference by Fox News is Peter Doocey. He responded, my memory is so bad, I.
Let you speak. Yeah, got his asked. Everyone was like, all right, Biden's sharp, so just.
As he's walking away, and his you know, staff is like high five a like responding like they just won the super Bowl because they're like, oh my god. He like pitched a perfect being almost out the door, and a reporter asked him about Israel, and he returned to the podium and he kept speaking and he referred to Egyptian president Abdel Fatah, I'll see see as the president of Mexico.
I'll see see. And that that was Yeah.
It was just, you know, it's kind of the kind of ship that he's been doing for a while.
I think.
I don't know, like three of the four last presidents have all been like this, you know, but w Bush, Trump and Biden have all been the sort of people who confuse words for other words, the misspeak and are kind of bumbling.
And but yeah, I mean, is this bumbling or his men? I mean, because like I'm.
Trying to be like, is it your mehotocracy.
Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador sound like.
Out CC and anyone like trying to figure out it, like if there are any connections here. But yeah, Joe, look man, it's like it's it's Battle of the Olds this fall.
Yeah, Trump, Meanwhile, this weekend couldn't say the word subsidies. He also talked about how he once saw a migrant stealing a refrigerator and claimed that if he didn't win, Biden would change the name of Pennsylvania.
So I just he said. It was such confidence too.
Yeah, oh, we're not gonna have He's like, you gotta vote, Remember, we have to win in November. Quote, Oh, we're not gonna have Pennsylvania. They're going to change the name. They're going to change the name of Pennsylvania for what reason.
Again, like the people who work for him are like, Okay, we can probably figure out a way to justify him saying we're not gonna have Pennsylvania, Like maybe you know something with taxation, they're going to change the name.
Oh fuck, what does that mean?
Now?
You know?
Miss but you're going to change the name of Pennsylvania.
Oh fuck. It's because he.
Has this like rhetorical style when talking about like when he has to sort of forecast what a like a liberal future looks like in in America, and it's always they're gonna take away your bread, folks, They're gonna take away all your TVs.
They're gonna change the name of like It's just like a thing.
He always just says shit like this, and sometimes it makes sense, kind of like when you're talking about gas stoves or whatever, he's like, they don't want anybody cooking with gas. They want people just cooking with charcoal again or something, or magnets.
And with this he just unfore you, they're gonna change the name of Pennsylvania.
They want toilets with tiny little mouth holes that can't flush our huge turds exactly.
That was one of those things. Could you imagine if he started doing I think you should leave shit?
Yeah, I think, I mean, I think I think you should leave is one of his favorite shows.
And he saw that and was like, that's what they're gonna do. I mouth.
Because he did have like a run during his presidency about how toilets can't flush as big dumps anymore.
Yeah.
Oh, and then remember that one Attorney general guy who made the toilet for big balls. Yeah, and my balls are always Matt fucking Matt Whittaker.
Good lord, why is that name still in our brains? Anyway?
That's not a mine. Yeah, that is one of the things I have forgotten. Just for Uber Eats commercial, which we will talk about when we come back from break the Super Bowl commercials. Guys, we love them, don't we, folks.
We'll be right back and we're back. We're back.
And uh so you were you were kind of in flight and then at a bar.
I was.
My flight took off at two thirty, so you were, Yeah, so it started to take like an hour into a class transcontinental flight.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's kind of interesting looking at the flight map too, because like a lot of times, when you know, like you take like long flights, you kind of use the curvature of the Earth to like lessen the distance traveled, like and I was like, oh that makes sense. Like flying from Eleida George, it's like the most straight line I've ever seen, like a.
Flight path pick.
It's like, and we're just on this one road. It's like take the ten on down and you'll get there. But yeah, I got that and I saw So it's funny I didn't I didn't have it on my I didn't. I wasn't watching it, but every person pretty much had it on so like peripherally, like I was always kind
of seeing what was happening. And so but then I didn't see the halftime show because I wanted to watch it like properly, so I saved that for when I got to my hotel and I watched some of the I just watched some of the commercials on YouTube because I wasn't really watching it in real time.
Yeah, yeah, I mean halftime show was good.
Oh my dude. The skates were an incredible feat.
I'm sorry, usher Man forty five, you're doing it. You're still you still got it? Like is ninety eight in here? I don't know how, sir, but you're when he like when he went into you don't have to call, but he was out, like he was almost out of breath from like the last number and then had to go situations And I'm like, hot, bro, you were just running.
How did you hit that note? Yeah?
And you knew the audio was actually his audio because they were having some mike difficulty.
Yeah.
Also, Jermain Dupree looked like a miniature version of se Lo.
He did, I could. I didn't know who that's who that was.
Yeah, I was like, that's jdqual because you know, we're used to we're used to the braids and ever since he went clean shaven, you know, and and the glasses and like this sort of tuxedo short style felt very like NARLS.
Barkley era Selo that did it was?
I think that that was who the people I was watching was thought it was at first, Yeah, sure.
No, but he was too short in stature to be Selo Green. But yeah, really.
Big different, I mean a big night for Jesus, Jesus Christ like four ads where Jesus the he Gets Us those are everywhere. And these were like a series of what seemed to be AI generated images of people washing each other's feet. I need a bunch of little freaks.
It looked like, can you do like Norman Rockwell and David la Chapelle, like David la Chappelle's photography style and generate all these images of the foot washings which are very that commercial was so weird.
Very weird.
Love the message of like, hey, Christians, Chris, here's the thing that like It seems like his main thing was about like kind of liking each other, being kind. Unfortunately, the group behind it, He Gets Us is bankrolled by at least partially by anti LGBTQ plus groups, So.
Which is why because that I feel like the final image was him with like like a gay guy with like a like it was sort of meant to be, like and even homosexuals are welcomed to Jesus, but also partially funded by the people who are trying to roll back rights for LGBTQ plus people in America.
Yeah, oh, okay, okay.
Mark Wahlberg has mentioned up top urged us to stay preyed up.
Uh and it.
Was weird, like it was. It's an ad for an app. Most most of the ads seem to be for an app in one way or another. Yeah, but his is an app where you can pray with people.
At the at the same time. I don't I don't really.
I haven't really figured wrapped my head around how this works or why you would want to pray with people at the same time.
But I feel like it has to be a little sacrilegious to be like we're going to monetize a prayer app.
Right, like actually, like we're we're we're not going to make you pay. We're just gonna, like, you know, you still with your identity. We're going to basically steal your identity.
But then like also let us know what you're praying about, you know what I mean, Like type it in what are your thoughts, your feelings.
The Scientology model. Scientology had a couple ads, which I'm not I'm not going to talk about them because I still have some research to do, but look very intriguing. I'm very interested in this group. I haven't I don't.
I don't think I've ever heard of them before. But we'll give it a look. Yeah, we'll see some interesting stuff being talked about.
But yeah, the scientology model of where you like, you know, find out compromising information about the people up front. I don't know that that's what the preyed up app does. Uh, maybe it could be.
At the highest levels of the Vatican, they're like, we gotta, we gotta go Hubbard on them.
This one goes all the way to the top.
Bro, exactly, my boss, the Pope here, why don't you Why don't you take it up with my boss the Pope?
I feel like that was the name.
Mark Wahlberg is constantly saying that ship, quoting the Pope's exorcist.
Yeah, or he'll be like or he'll be like really mean to service workers. But then he'll be like, yeah, but guess what, It's not coming from me, It's coming from my boss Jesus Christ. So why don't you learn how to fucking why don't you learn what a well done hamburger looks? Like?
Yeah, yeah, I like it, fucking well done. Ben Affleck did a duncan add with a fake boy band.
They're like, I don't know, like if you I rewatched it this morning, so I get I get the vibe a little bit more. But it's just the he like comes into J Loo's recording studio and pretends to be in a boy band called the dun Kings dum, and I thought they've been like, y'all are done? Like you're correct, Yeah, the dune Kings.
I thought that's what Maybe he was like, Oh that's that's clever, because y'all are I mean.
It was him, Matt Damon, and Tom Brady, youeh, at least two of those three might be done. Tom Brady seems to just be on a tour of like appearing as himself with like silly shit on his face right in a way that's like self effacing, but also it's impossible to tell if he's in on the self effacement or not.
Yeah, it's so that's what a lack of charisma does to people.
You're like, I'm not sure what you're.
Doing here, so I guess I'll have to so maybe wig acting.
Yeah, be the move this guy.
I honestly, I think the best part of that duncan Ad was Matt Damon because he was the audience surrogate representing the audience like this is fucking terrible, dude, why are we doing this?
So our writer jam was like, how much does he love duncan that he, like Ben Affleck, is like willing to routinely humiliate himself for them, Yeah, which you know, partially you're like, obviously he is making a lot of money. Yeah, Partially you're like he's probably taking payments and iced coffee.
But it's it's just a weird brand relationship because his initial association with them comes from like tabloid photos of him looking like rock bottom as hell, just like puffy relapsed face, smoking cigarettes, looking like the soul has been just like drained out of his body, and people were like, man, this guy loves his donkeys. And now he's got like a national ad campaign where he's just got to pretend he's a loser and ads for a brand. Yeah, he's
associated with because they were there for him. It's a rock bottom.
It's like the subtext, Yeah, it's like this is his favorite thing, like even at his worst, like Duncan was there for him, but they can never acknowledge that, like in the commercial where they're like, Duncan is there for people even when you've hit the absolute fucking bottom of the abyss.
Yeah okay, which maybe be a hard name. Immersial cafter us was how the ad ends. Yeah, okay, what is it?
It's just an iced coffee with a bunch of a lot more creamers in it or something, the seventeen creamers.
Dude, how do you like them? Duncan's yeah, Matt Damon's you know. Fun.
There was a campaign at about like uber eats where it was like, how do I remember that uber eats can deliver all this stuff? And it's like, well, for everything you new thing you remember, you have to forget something and it was just a bunch of people forgetting various things. It was that was kind of that felt like the most classically executed Super Bowl ad, right, very basic premise, doesn't really make sense. Could be for ninety other products, right.
Oh right, the genius product that we should all be remembering. I remember it now.
And they also had a thing where an actor is like eating peanut butter and having like an allergic reaction, and the joke is like he forgot he was allergic to peanuts, or that peanut butter had peanuts in it, and that's it. Weird to like have something that seems like it's a riff on brain damage in the middle of an NFL game, right, Yeah, like the biggest NFL game. But yeah, it's kind of just a weird ad.
I mean, you know, shout out to a friend of the show, Adam Lustick, who played the man who had to have a little bit of peanuts and they had to cut that out because yeah, Adam, hey man, I hope you look.
You got the check obviously to be in a Chipable commercial. It sucks that they didn't.
They didn't air your part where you were somehow the guy who was about to go into anaphylactic shock was about.
To die from uh uber eat.
Uh RFK Junior aired a surprise super pac funded campaign ad that reproduced JFK's nineteen sixty campaign ad that I was not familiar with. Yeah, but it's just you know, it had old timey music, It felt and looked like it was from a different time. Basically, it was just like images of him looking like just like skiing and shit. It like he just looked he just like looked rich, which seemed like a weird image for somebody who's like trying to be a man.
Of the people. And were they like accentuating his eye color. I felt like his eyes were.
Really popping out, and they like, yeah, they do some monocroshout to make his eyes like bright blue.
Oh cool. Cool.
So yeah, vote for the the White Walker to be.
The fucking night King will be your president.
So he then apologized to his family on Twitter, claiming that the head was created by a super pac without any involvement or approval from my campaign. Guys, I'm not trying to capitalize off our family name. That's what I was not even my dad about.
I could have went about with my dad, but I chose your more popular dad.
And I know that's kind of scummy.
But I love how he's doing the fucking same Excuse again, Oh, it wasn't my idea.
It was a super pack. No, I'm not having him.
I'm not having the birthday party no one wants to go to. It was a super pack, the super I planned. It always at the last minute when something's that l the fucking super pac is the one that came in.
Yeah, okay, and also yeah, just uh. That apology was slightly undercut by the fact that the ad was pinned to the top of his profile. He uh was apologizing for it.
I think you know how much that should cost. I think it costs seven million for that each ad cost seven million. That was so uh. The other thing that jumped out to me was Tamu uh tu.
Mum no, no, I mean I saw the Adam was like, what the fuck? Because I remember I think in the group chat. I think you referenced someone referenced in the group group chat, didn't they Yeah, yeah yeah, And then I remember seeing it Yeah, I think it was super producer Becca.
Oh yeah.
So the deal with Tamu is like it's like cheaper Amazon, right, you can just buy stuff directly from China. It like bypasses American warehouses, and the ad just it felt like the sales Genie ads from years past. Do you remember those where it like the first one happened early two thousands.
I think, oh yeah, it was like the panda.
The panda was the more racist like second edition. But the first edition was this guy Pierce, and it was just it was like an ad out of like an eighties infomercial like that was just like randomly in the middle, like the quality was terrible. It was just everyone being like, hey Pierce, what's with the new car?
Right?
And he's like, you know, just killing it. It was just this like random like white guy and like his boss was like, hey Pierce, let's go golfing. It was just showing this guy like succeed in all these very like basic business y ways and then they're like sales Genie, Hey Pierce, what's with those sales leads? And my friend Shold and I have never stopped talking about it.
It's so heavy handed.
It's so heavy handed, like he just has like the ve get some wet energy of like an ab sexual predator, right right, right, So.
This one is not like quite that uh, I mean tame in that sense. Yeah, that's tame.
But it just it's like such a like kind of basic computer animation. It really felt like it was like teleported from a pre Pixar era.
Yeah, it feels like children's animation from the mid nineties.
Yeah, it's just like, oh, this ad is coming to us from a different universe than all the other Super Bowl ads, And they ran it like three times right in like during regulation time in the Super Bowl, so you know, seven million dollars a pop. And yeah, super producer Becca was saying that, like their business model is like sell stuff for cheap, but then they get access to your data.
You know, Oh is it?
That is the rumor I have not independently verified, but.
I mean yeah, at the very least, it just feels like a thing. We're like, watch this, all the stuff they saw on Amazon, we actually got it over here.
How about we cut them out of it?
And yeah, here's here's how you get into the fast consumer track.
But yeah, it's it doesn't get like even in the places where reviews they are pretty you know, usually like in the four star range, like it's in the two and a half star range and people are like, yeah, like this table only had three legs or whatever.
I feel like that was like the problem with Wish too. Yeah, Everyone's like, oh, Wish is so.
Cool, and then they're like, uh, everything had lead in it.
Yeah, all your favorite products made entirely out of lead.
Oh's are guarantee? Yeah?
This wow, this looks like an Eames desk chair, but it's actually just made out of lead.
That's how we make it affordable.
But yeah, I can't think of a worse product for the world right now than an Amazon that sells even shittier, junkier stuff like Ason already does at a lower price point. Their slogan was like shop like a billionaire, right, which is like, oh, you mean like being the main contributor to climate change in the end of the world. Yeah, that's can shop like a billionaire, shop.
Like a billionaire.
I think the one thing I saw the guy who got like a ten dollars two pay you know how, like the characters like in the commercial, right, like they would be from like normal and then suddenly acquire stuff. This bald headed dude, I feel like he had hair all of a sudden said ten dollars like a ten dollars.
I don't know it like a billionaire. I mean like billionaires.
I don't stand in the sun with it too long, or you will will you are you are combustible and we can.
Be made of ice cream.
Unfortunately, I think the other thing that people hopefully begin to realize is so many of our consumer goods that are coming from China like that, there's this whole thing where people just like print their own brand name on it after going to one supplier and being like, oh, this pop socket, I put my company's name on and it's now different. But other businesses also are obtaining their
stock from like the same manufacture. That's why it's so weird when you see like identical USB cables or something, but they always have like a different brand name on it, and you're like, y'all, it's we're all just it's all different levels of marketing and you like, I think this one's better.
It's like it's actually the exact same one as this company. It is.
Really it's just like a scam site going mainstream is basically what this was, which I guess where we're at, Like it's not surprising, but it does seem like, you know, the thing we've talked about about like just products getting worse and worse because they've just like corporations have all the power and they figured out like how to you know, make things cheaper and people will still buy them because we're confused because you know, there's still a thrill of
having a thing show up at your house, but like, you know, the the idea of I think Emily Heller talks about the time that sh ordered a welcome matt that's made of like what looks like real grass, and like the thing that showed up was a piece of cardboard with like a photograph of that like taped onto it, and it's like that's the world where.
Yeah, this was for this was for a this was for ten photos of the iPhone.
Read the fine print. Yeah, so, I mean.
The fact that that is kind of the name of the game these days in capitalism, Like it makes sense that TAMU would be debuting with like.
Three pretty shitty Super Bowl ads.
Yeah, well, I'm sure they're like some ships cost seven seven million of pop. Like you think we're gonna spend we can't. We had we made those animations on an app.
Right, there was It felt like there were a couple ads like that, and some of the Jesus ones felt just AI generated for sure.
Yeah, the the foot washing one was very I was really trying to look to be like is this did you guys.
Mid Germany Monny Fingers, mid Germany mid Journey.
Yeah, all right, those are some of the things that are trending on this Monday morning.
We are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show.
Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to you all tomorrow.
Bye bye,