Seattleites > Jesse Watters, SWAMP SHACK BABYYY! 09.28.23

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Hello the Internet, and welcome to season three oh six, Episode four of.

Der Day's I Guysay production of iHeartRadio.

This is a podcast where we take a deep dive into America share consciousness. And it is Thursday, September twenty eighth, twenty twenty three. Overheard somebody signing for something and they say, what is it? September twenty third, And I just respect being like almost.

A week off.

Yeah, because I've done that ship before, like signing my kids into school and they're like, what do you do for a living sir, Like I'm not a banker. Okay, yeah, I don't know what the date is. I just have a daily podcast where I say the date at the beginning every time.

North National North Carolina Day, National Beer Day, National Strawberry Cream Pie Day, and National Good Neighbor Day, which is the sketch group that Kyle Mooney was in with Beck Benet. Is that really it? No strawberry pie Day? Sure, strawberry cream pie. I've never had a strawberry cream pie.

That feels like a gross thing, that looks like a older cousin would tell you what it really means.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cream cheese, though baked into a thing. It looks. It doesn't look baked cream cheese doesn't always look the best, dar Man.

It works, It really works for me. That is some good down home Midwestern casserole cooking right there. Anything where you bit your baking cream cheese in.

Anyways, my name is Jack O'Brien aka speaking of sexual pies. So why why all the hype for AI? I could use it for a paper, but then maybe I'd die and them good old boys, you know, those silly con guys, saying him, won't you fund our killer AI? Won't you fund our killer AI?

Now American Pie at that point not explicitly a sexual pie, but it did become one and then and growing up Jason Biggs. Anyways, I'm thrilled to be joined. Oh wait, I gotta say who that was from that beautiful eight aka that was from Rizik on the discord.

Shout out to you, sir.

I'm thrilled to be joined as always by my co host, mister Miles Grass.

Oh shit, hold on, here we go? Uh back track? Oh god?

Oh well, imagine as I'm reading the news about the next election, and I can't help but to read, No, I can't help but to read about the newest polls, Trump speeding, Joe Biden tarrum speed and Joe Biden says a new ball. He's up ten points, he asked, But what a shame, what a shame? He's the only option we have.

I chimed in with a hasard DNC he ever heard of holding a primary? And h it's much better to keep the incombing even though he's lucky popularity.

Okay.

Shout out to Shanee Pawnee on the Discord for that little panic at the disco, actually panic at the discord on the discord over that one.

Shout out to you, hm hmm, Miles. It is a full it is we needed We needed this for our system. We've been having all these damn experts on lately.

We needed intelligent guests, thoughtful guests, intelligent thoughtful, intelligent guest. We needed a pure chaos episode.

We are thrilled to be joined in our third see by comedian, a writer, an actor, stand up albums. Blake album Stuffed Boy Live from the Pandemic All debut Number one iTunes Amazon. His album Twelve Years of Voicemails from tug Last to Blake Wexler charted on Billboard. Please Welcome, the hilarious, the chaotic. He's riding a recumbent bike in short shorts and his plumpers are on full display.

It's Blake. This is Blake Weaxler, AKA.

I have a special, a stand up comedy special, but zite geist my peak. I have two plumpers. What the hell am I doing here? I am a wexpert. I'm a wexpert.

Baby.

This is I heart media at its finest. Blake Western joined by Jack and Miles thank you so much for having me.

Show now too. Yes, I have data. We're going to dive into the data.

We're gonna talk to people on the ground and we are going to say that they're long.

That we have data that we're diving into. Today we're going to bring up the electoral map here and I'm going to show you which you know groups are reporting as yet.

Blake, how are you doing, man?

This is the Electoral Community College. That's right, it's not it's a two year associates. I'm doing great, guys, Thank you so much.

For Electoral Online College.

Phoenix Phoenix exactly. This phoenix will not rise from the ashes. It has burnt itself to death. But yeah, no, I'm so psyched to be here. As usual, you gotta start a little late.

We're busy integrating the Damian lillar trade into our into our beings, into our personhood. Didn't see that coming. It's hard.

He even gonna play for them, didn't he. He only wanted to go to Miami, right, and now this is going to the Miami of the North Milwaukee.

Yeah. I want a.

Body of water up there, right, one of those one of those great lakes. It's like I'll be yeah that.

Yeah, He's like, you're not going to Miami, but the team does have M and I in the first two letters of this Yeah, so you gotta read it. You gotta read the whole word.

Paid attention to the opening sound and the ending sound of the word city that he was asking to be traded to in between me. I think this trade is really fun. I know this isn't our NBA podcast, but I think it's fun. It brings Damian Lillard, puts him on a team that gives him a real chance of winning a title. It makes Jannis relevant again. Jannis is probably our most fun and lovable celebrity basketball player at the moment.

So I'm I'm.

Here for James Harden. I think James Harden is the most fun you know one. I think we can.

Take our self hating Sixers fandom off the off the mic. But my Miles suggested a good new new line for for us. When people ask if we're Sixers fans that we we only recognize one team of Sixers. Yeah, Miles, you want to tell them what it is, the January six Ers. Yeah, that's only That's the only Sixers I recognize. And I'm not a fan of them, and I don't even know about another another group. Anyways, Blake, I'm thrilled to have you here. We're gonna get to know you

Don't like you.

Was that his first episode where they're like, Okay, honey, we love you, but like you're doing a bad job and making the world a worse place. Try not to do that so much.

Love you too. That was like kind of his like energy to hold him. Yeah, okay, all right, mom, Yeah sure, yeah. Anyways, he sent a producer to Seattle to do a story on the liberal hellscape, and it's interesting. I don't know, I don't know what they were looking for and why they thought they found it, but we want we want to see what's going on over at Waters. Airbnb is doing another one of their fun like you can sleep in Barbie's Malibu Dreamhouse thing, but this one centers e

Yeah?

I don't know how much of that's being talked about, but that was like one of his arguments and deposition that it didn't matter because he's got Saudi buyers that'll pay whatever. I say, Wow, I did. I totally missed that was that reason? Yeah, it's buried in like a lot of the documents. Some people are beginning to sort of look at that and be like, hold on, well, I mean it makes sense when you look at like

No, it's fucking crazy. I don't know if you know this. I used to be the president, so I can just tell people what to pay.

It's fucking great. I mean I don't like to bring it up. I hate bringing it up. However, if you want us to look.

Laying it out here, killing it out here, dude, all of that plenty more. But before we get to any of that shit, Blake Wexler, we do like to ask our.

Guests, what is something from your search history chistory.

Search history is my favorite pale ale and it is forty percent ABV, which stands for alcohol by volume.

Of course, it's just Roman. Yeah.

People keep telling me it was made in the West Indies, and I'm like, not with a name like search history. No, that was definitely made the greatest Britain search history. I recently googled crab walk because I posted a video where I was crab walking out of it concert and I was unsure a if it was one word or two, but b if it was a potentially unsensitive term. And I don't know why to Crustacia, which I believe was a plane that went down somewhere crust Airlines. But yeah, the only it.

Would only be derogatory towards member of the crypt gang. That is, that is derogatory. Crab is derogatory for a crip. And then if crip walking, crab walking might be a you know, I don't know, I don't know who you hang around. If they're all wearing red, No, you're right, that's why you got that take. But hey, no, that's that's gonna get me in trouble.

Said that he was crab walking out of a concert, he was crip walking. Yeah, and he had a red He had a red flag coming out of his pocket. I was like, okay, damn I was.

I was wearing a Phillies practice jersey as well, which was red too. So No, it's first of all, not offensive except to the groups that we mentioned crabs and certain crip la based gangs of course. And I mean it's a national I believe it's international. I'm so sorry, and I'm really in hot water right now. Hot blue water with.

The anti the crip, anti defamation. Everybody needs an advocate. Yeah, we do.

You've proven that, but yeah, no, we're we're all clear on that. But it turns out because I remember crap walking from like middle school, where it would just be a thing like in gym class or maybe in regular class, or it's like all right, but it's just a thing for kids to do. But I really I think it might be a legitimate exercise where you engage your core while you do it, and it also it's you know, probably your triceps it helps with as well.

So apparently physical trainers recommend this also your hips too, because you got to get those hips up. That's a good hip exercise. This is where you're like on all fours, but on your back right, let your heel on off your heelva correct, yeah, helva hips to the sky Yeah, yes, plumpers, I would hope like just a perfect mine all parallel to the ground. Yeah, parallel to the ground. Yeah, where they belong.

And because a lot of people use their legs to walk straight up, and I find that, Yeah, go ahead, did you pull off? Inish statement? I said, I found it disgusting. Go ahead, mile did.

You pull off of Like, how did it feel to crab I've and crab walked in the minute? How did that feel? Did you feel like you still had it or maybe you got held up? Do some more reps?

Okay, yeah, the blake still the body held up and I did even slip, which completely defied the purpose of the crab walk. Where I was at a concert and on a steep hill, and I could have paid for nicer seats. I have the money. I just like sitting on the ground.

So I was it was an indoor concert and you were on a hill nearby. Yeah, I brought sod with me.

I brought a hundred square feet of sod for me to sit in the mash pit in the middle of it. Right, Yeah, I got stepped on rudely, but yeah no, I held up. Well, I did it for a long time, and I see it. I might just do that just my be how I walk now, I might just can continue doing it.

It feels like, but I'll have to get a handshoes. It feels like one of those things like someone has I feel like I've seen on the internet someone who like crab walked like across America to like raise awareness.

Yes, yeah, it was November, but before that it was U yeah, crab walk March, and.

I think yeah, the last one they they I think the last time crab walk came up came up was that guy who escaped prison in Pennsylvania. Oh I know him. Did you see that clip He crab walked his way out. Yeah, because he like found he found like three miles of shit. No, no, he had to like get up the prison walls. But he did the version where you put like your feet on one wall, in your hands on the like an opposite wall, and just kind of like inch your way up.

Oh yeah, you know it's not it's not acceptable, but man, you can. It's just what do you mean an energetic way to get around? It's not acceptable for me to skip around miles. You've made that perfectly clear. Well, I've only said that ain't skipping you're doing. I was like, I don't know what that is, but that is skipping.

It ain't. Have you actually have you seen those clips of like older people trying to skip and they can't remember. Oh no, oh my god, you can forget how to skip hard on your knees. Dude. It's so funny watching like people have been like, I can skip and they hold on. I gotta play. I just I don't know if you can watching watching somebody who does, like watching my five year old try to remember how to try to figure out She asked him to prove it. He didn't realize that got how Yeah, this is this is

Every day I go on these social media platforms and it's trending and I'm just like, yeah, I don't know, we get it. Blake was some of these things overrated.

Now this is at the risk of Miles saying something snide about my palate, and then I let it go, and then I think about it for weeks and weeks.

Fifty dollars worth of taco bell over the weekend I got. I got no place coming after people's palate, But go ahead.

I feel safe that it ordering meat rare, I feel like is overrated. I feel like you get shamed if you even order it at a medium at a medium situation, and I think that I eat meat constantly.

I'm not.

I don't have a good diet by any stretch of the imagination, but I do see meat as a delivery device for like sauce, you know, like as a platform for what I think.

The sauce is.

Generally the star to me. So what's the difference. I mean, you don't want it tough, like you don't want to, you know, hurt your teeth. But I think when people like, oh, I want it rare, or if I ask a waiter, hey, can I get this medium, they go, well, actually, we recommend that it's rare. It's like, well, I recommend that you leave it in longer because I want to eat that. And that's how I talk to people in the service.

Well, let me speak to your manager first of all.

Can we bring out someone of the bourgeoisie please, that I can speak to so I can be heard.

Who is the owner of this business, not the worker. I'd like to speak to the owner, yes, and I would like to call him mister. So I also feel supported around them, kind of like yeah, yeah, eat whatever the fuck you want. I think I don't even eat sheer. I don't eat I would never order something rare, like

That's interesting. That's yeah. Uh in the Yeah, no medium rare. It's funny I say medium because then I feel like they're just gonna do whatever the fuck they want anyway, you know, so medium and then they're gonna bring it out.

Well, we can do. And that's also you do also say that's the server. I'll say, you're gonna do whatever the fuck you want anyways. Are no sure? I wave my fork around like, no, we actually cook it to order. Yeah, but you're probably just gonna probably fucking spit on it or do whatever, you know whatever, Just do whatever you're gonna do.

I know what they tell you to say. Yeah, you don't value my opinion, do you, Like? I don't know why I even came here. I don't even know why I go out to eat anymore. And it's always a shitty experience. And it's your birthday, and I cooked your favorite steak, the one you've loved since you were a boy. Open it up, that's what I say. I don't even say cut it for me. I say, open up. What's inside it?

Good? Hoop that thing up? Its autopsy? Yeah, what's in it? Yeah, crack it over?

Uh yeah yeah yeah no, spread out suspected. Yeah, no, it's so funny. And then I go sit, we don't We have one piece of patio furniture outside, and I just sit in the chair and I stare until until I do come in and apologize, of course, because I would never speak to my wife that way.

Wait, oh, I was playing. I was playing your mother. I was your mother in that bit. Actually not your Oh oh yeah. I don't publicly acknowledge that I have a mother. Oh I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Didn't mean to do that. That's right. Until i've uh you fell from this guy. He came

I will publicly acknowledge it after I go from seven days a week of therapy down to six, and then I will acknowledge that I have.

Good We'll be waiting. We'll be waiting. I know you own you're good friends. Yeah.

I'll also say there's something like very I don't know when people when The thing that people criticize Trump for is that he likes his steak. That he gets the Blake Wexler and asks for his steak, right, that's well done, Yeah, slathered and ketch up. Like that's not a good that's

Gross and rude. And I don't like the way he liked hawks, like his accent uncouth, doesn't non presidential. Yeah, just just focus on the racism. You're still talking about Trump? Yeah yeah, not me, Yes, my accent is focus on.

The racism and not like what how he likes his hamburgers. Who gives a ship how he hamburg hamburgers?

Yeah?

I agree, Like if how what what we thought of meat and how he took our meat was the main deciding factor, then I would be the biggest Mitt Romney supporter. Because his favorite meat is hot dog. That is that ship rules. That's the fucking funniest thing anyone's ever said.

It's great.

Yeah, and he orders his rare. He has a rare hot, rare hot.

I like a soft, a warm pink center. Yeah. Well it's a fucking hot dog. Man. That's kind of what it always is gonna be. Here's the one cooked anyway, eating cooked. Well, he doubled down on his hot dog love over the summer. I don't know if you saw this clip, amit round? You walking with a hot dog?

You know?

Hot dog hat with a hot dog on This was This was viral content for Jamie Loftus's book.

Well, as you all know, today is National hot Dog Day, and perhaps you also know that hot dog is my favorite meat. I love hot dogs. I love them in buns. I love them outside of buns. I love them with baked beans. I just like hot dogs. It's the best, you know, mess meat there is? Without question?

Is this the basically like the best meat there is?

A walk and talk whose decision was like, nah, you gotta walk. You gotta walk while you're doing this viral video.

And also, don't be a question. Don't bother to hide your like Lavalier wire, like Mike. It's like the chords are dangling. Everybody's about to trip on it. But hey, hot dog is the best meat there is. I can see him putting like a napkin like in his shirt, collar, forkin knife. Where is he going to become a public servant next? Where? What state is he going to move to? Because he was what governor of Massachusetts? Now he's a senator right in Utah? Yeah?

Yeah, I probably. I mean he might become the Senator of Milwaukee. And then you have a senator. The city itself is a.

City has a senator famously. Yeah, of course, yeah, fun fact he's seventy six. It's pretty strong, pretty together for seventy six. Don't have to the hell value of hot dogs? The only thing. Yeah, what's my secret hot dog? I like dogs. My favorite meets Because he did say my favorite meets hot dog, he still said it like it is a kind of meat rather than like the idea

Yeah exactly, or maybe it's yeah, maybe it's just because he's a fucking connoisseur.

And that's just you know, like that's the right way to say it. That's the right way to say. Yeah, it created it actually has all the meats contained within it. That's why I like hot dogs. Yeah, it's a omni meat or a Romney meat, as I would that's right.

There's also a profile to him where like he the the person goes to his apartment in DC and he's just every night he eats like a frozen piece of salmon smothered in ketchup, like like he he cooked the frozen salmon. Lisa Rakowski was like, you know, gave him just a freezer full of salmon.

Was like, here you go.

This is for you forever. You will always have salmon. And he he like, out of a sense of duty, just like joylessly grinds down a fucking piece of baked salmon like smothered and ketch up every night. So man has interesting tastes.

Yeah, he's allergic to wild caught by the way, it can't happen.

Yeah, yeah, it has to be shock. Yeah, it's a shock to his system. This was this wild cat, not can sandwich.

The joy is taking over my body like an alien symbiote.

The excitement emanating off this frozen fishing to give you a heart attack.

The sense of freedom, the sense that it had love in its heart and knew its mother. All right, Uh, let's take a quick break. We'll come back and find out what you think is underrated? M And we're back in it, in it, We're back.

Isn't it blake it? And it's underrated? Isn't it it is? In't it is underted? Underrated?

Yeah?

Is Cuba, which I bring as a as a place to go, and I went there with my wife for a one year anniversary and Miles was wow to give But I don't actually know how to say this without coming off as a total fucking idiot, So I'll just

Could have in salmon slathered in ketchup. I it was I actually nutri grain bar that I melt the chocolate over that I brought with me. Actually that's pretty good. That's man. You just put them together. Put the nutri gray bar and the chocolate bar in your pocket together.

Boom, and just walk at a brisk pace and my legs are so plump that they rub together and create friction heat to melt the chocolate. Uh, and I have they're in separate pockets and it still works. So I love that.

That's how hot your legs are.

That's my legs got It's just anything or within a foot of my legs warms the hell up.

Yeah.

Food wise, literally, this is gonna be such a simple answer. But any like garlic shrimp, like garlic fish, seafood where it would be very very simple and absolutely delicious. Fuck, there is a very like a braid, like any braized you know, beef and stuff was like really good. It was just the drinks exactly. The drinks were so like were amazing. Yeah, it was just so pared down. I

Did they let you see the sample the sound lasers?

They so, they didn't let me stay they h It was just that's how I feel in general, living in my head is like I'm being sound attacked.

Yeah.

So I've been diagnosed with havana syndrome since I was at the age of but before you even went there, before I even went there, and then it actually just even me out. I think that's why I relaxed so much. Is that yeah, no, and they and it's really targeted to where they don't target anyone else there. It's just purely a Americans with the sound the sound weapons, but.

The idea Americans go there and just blame the symptoms of being an American in modern America on CUBEA like, yeah, I'm like that depressed and like tired all the time and feel like hopeless.

What the fuck's going on? What is that? I feel guilty? It must be your fault, beautiful place.

Why do I have to bring all this cash with me, you fucking people, because I can't use a credit card here. Why don't you guys let me use my credit cards here? And you do have to travel with all the cash that you need for the trip also, which is not as harrowing as you think. I think that that was another thing I like doing that. I carried a briefcase handcuffed my wrist for the as an accessory.

Amazing. Well, that's very cool. That sounds amazing, And I truly I did not know that that was something that you could that you could do. I thought that there were still things in place to make that very difficult. I thought, yeah, I could have sworried when you got back, You're like, it's a communist healthscape.

Right, what it was? I thought it was a liberal healthscape, is what I thought. That's the term I use. I actually use that term whenever I exit my house. I'm like, this is a liberal healthscape out here.

Let's talk about a liberal healthscape. Seattle.

Jesse Waters sent producers into enemy territory to see how cities are completely falling apart and how the citizens like it's it feels like they went and being like, now the people who live there are going to ask you to take them with you, and you just you have to not look at them.

You'll get stowaways. You'll get stowaways.

Check your bag, gonna try to check your bags because the Seattle residents are going to try to stow away in your begs.

Didn't it doesn't seem like it went that way.

Instead of what they got were people being like, no, it's it's nice. There's just a problem with poverty and inequality in our city, like there is in a lot of places right in the world in this country.

Yeah, this clip was going around. Shout out Katabu on Twitter, who has the mental strength of a granite mountain, as she like regularly monitors Fox News to give Twitter like these amazing clips. But yeah, let's just watch them, hoping that the people in Seattle are just in absolute shambles over the state of their lib Healscape.

Jesse send Johnny to the progressive Hellescape, where residents mocked the idea that the city is spiraling out of control.

I've never seen any crime in Seattle. I've never seen any of it. I've seen fun and laughter, and laughter and fun. I don't believe that number people there, you know, get robbed out here, carjacked. I've never heard of anyone getting robbed.

Prime is a social issue that could be solved by giving people their basic needs.

It's not a thing that happens just on the street. People don't just come up and try to rob people on the street. Do you walk around every day like someone's gonna rob me every second? Seattle decriminalized drug use, and then they criminalized it again. Oh my god, who are you going to your premany cars? Apparently you're listening to the wrong people. I saw a lot of people shooting up on my way down here. Did you okay?

Oh no, they were.

Hurting you so bad.

I don't know.

So yeah, they tried. I think this second you go up with that Fox News Jesse Waters, flag, people are gonna be like, you think I'm gonna cooperate with whatever fucking propaganda you're trying to manufacture. Here, guess what? I like the one person's like, never heard of crime, don't know what it is? What is that?

Yeah?

Yeah, it's like I'm not fucking like, what the fuck you to say? But yeah, it's just like when you watch that, I'm like, why the fuck would they air that? I think part of them was trying to say, like, these are the facts, this is the data, the statistics that say it's a progressive hellscape. But then afterwards, like that was judge what's her name, Janieri Piro, Piro, the clown Piero, Judge Janine Piro, and she's like, wow, the arrogance of those people. And then Jesse Waters was like,

I Where else are the deals gonna get done?

It is funny too that the sweetest woman in the world said the most devastating sentence I've ever heard, in this devastating tone where she's so sweet, she goes, oh.

Were you in your car?

Yeah?

Your little car? Oh no, oh my god? Did the heroine go through your car?

And you shut up to but did it come through your your recycled air conditioning that you're probably using with your windows up?

I'm sure it did. Yeah, an airborne heroin.

But it's funny because like I always felt a little bed like back when you know, The Daily Show would go to a conservative convention and show like conservative people just like not being able to like back up their beliefs or you know, just saying wild ignorant shit, and it's like, well, you know, you can go anywhere and find people like the fact that this is their equivalent is like going and showing people on their way to work just like saying the truth and then them being like,

Yeah, this one's sweating. I think more than that, though, I think it just shows the difference in how people view crime, right because they're coming with the Fox News version, which is like poor people and drugs or whatever, and then for other people who have some sense of like how a society functions are like, yeah, I mean, like those are kind of the failures of our government to be able to support people more than like what that people like were you try and use it as like

Anytime someone has any heart for another human being, they blur out their face.

Yeah, person, be humiliate. That was the actually the uncensored clip that we just heard, Yeah, the one that went on Fox. It was just it was just like that sensor tone the whole time.

Right, It's sounded like a heart monitor of someone who had recently deceased, right the entire time.

Yeah, the city of Seattle that just died ri ip because all the fucking libs up there. Yeah that's right, great, Fries is great. Frid.

I do feel like part part of the reason we got to see that was they you know, they blew a big chunk of money on this reporting mission and this was the best that they could get, which is whi because when you put a team of comedians, try that in a small town with just a comedian and a camera crew, and what the shit you get is amazing. Yeah, like people saying the wildest, most offensive shit ever about their fellow human beings. They they're supposed to be an

People and you just are you view them as human beings? Yeah, or you look at it and go, man, like we can be doing better as a city is like a government or whatever. But again I think that's the difference. Like comedians go and they're like, honestly, the fun is just going to be letting people just run their mouths, where like they go into this very narrow framework of I'm going to a liberal city and I'm going to need someone who off rip is going to agree with

Yeah, they spent all the money on first class tickets. God, if we sat him and coach with the Liberals, we wouldn't have had to show this fucking segment.

Right, But then they wouldn't have had the that certain geno sa quah about them when they were looking down on everyone. You know, they wouldn't have had the extra money to buy their pipe.

Tobacco, pipe tobacco, that's true. I don't know, just picturing picturing that person lighting up a pipe after he gets Jesse Waters kind of has pipe pipe energy, Like I could see him pulling out a pipe, really puffing on it. Little pipe energy like a corn cop or like a full on Sherlock Holmes.

No, no, no, like uh, I like he's seen one too many episode it's of Sherlock Holmes and thinks it makes them look distinguished.

Oh oh, like at home, he's like, you want to see something holy? This pipe collection I have, Like you haven't even smoked out of these, He's like, I don't want I'm scared. I don't violently smells terrible so that I have asthma, so I can never smoke cigarettes. I've never inhaled my cigarettes. I just don't like that. I just like the t Yeah, yeah, all.

Right, let's uh, let's take a quick break and we'll come back and do a couple of real estate stories.

Yes, yeah, real Estate Corner. And we're back.

And that's right, it's time for the daily Zeit guys, Real Estate Corner, brought to you by Zillow's.

This is Illo Willow. See how much your friend's homes are the second you get an address, throw it in Redfin and be like, yo, whoa, it's Jeff house poor. We'll find out after this. The sport of millennials everywhere.

So Airbnb has this thing that they're doing to distract us all from the housing crisis that they contribute to, where they do like a cute little fictional location as a publicity stunt. This feels like it could I love that, like that. This is a well executed publicity stunt. I am count me as officially distracted from the housing crisis when they do this Barbie's Malibu dream House looks fucking awesome.

Yeah, remember when they had the McAllister Home from the Hollister and Home Alan, Yes, yes, bring that back.

Malbou dream House is like legit, Like I think they should legit, dude, Dude. There's like a slide coming off the second floor down to the that's a legit dream house Leni area. Also, if you look, there's a again, there's a basketball on the highest fucking veranda of this house. There's a fucking hoop like rip if you fucking hit the heel of the rim and then you just like you bludgeon somebody you know, fifty feet below in the pool.

It's in Scotland, right in Scotland.

Wow, that is offensive attempt at a Scottish accent.

It's mostly because you're Irish, Jack, That's why it was offensive. Yeah, just stay on your side, bro, That's right.

It looks awesome though, Like I'm I'm not gonna sit here and.

Be like that just dumb fuck this. It looks cool as fuck to me. I mean, I guess it looks cool in that, Like it seems like a from the pictures, like a well executed kind of like film set. But I have no interest in staying in some ship that looks like a tree stump with like cottage core like acid trip vibes on the interior.

Cottage Yeah, cottage core lsd accented. They say it's starting Friday, October thirteenth. Onion lovers, I don't know why onion eat a bunch of onions?

Did he okay?

Request to book a free two nights day for up to three guests in a thrilling looking recreation a thrilling looking recreation of Shrek's mossy swamp abode.

Or ogres are like onions. I think maybe that's what he said, ogres are like onions? Anyway, does he eat onions? It's not.

It's not the thing that I would have gone with in the first sentence. I wouldn't have said for onion lovers, because first of all, it sounds like a slur yeah hunt, and yeah, it also is the Welsh.

Yeah.

For instance, for all you onion loving Welsh Welshman out there, don't think about coming up from Cardiff now, uh huh, his.

Friend donkey, it's airbnb host is house sitting for Halloween. According to the listing description, the downsides.

Sure, like what could they possibly be? There's no kitchen or bathroom. Okay, fine, you're gonna stay there for a couple of days. You could probably get by, but you will also be forced to ship in Shrek's outthouse, which are twenty meters from the house. And and don't look down into that toilet because there's a guy. Now, yeah, the whole thing like there's an onion lover, right, in the.

The whole thing has stinky vibes, Like, yeah, truly stinky vibes. The Malibu dream House looks like it smells like, you know, suntan lotion, and this looks like it smells like onions and piss.

But I I just stay home. Yeah, yeah, you could stay on onions and pissed. I wouldn't leave my house, That's right. I guess, like, is there a cartoon based air B and B that any of you? I think like for me, it's just missed on me because it just feels like sort of juvenile like or I don't know, I'm just not as I'm not, you know, in the Shrek a verse like that. Yeah, I'm trying to think of some like Ninja Turtles probably like I would like if I'm thinking of some stinky ship that I'd like, Yo,

Smurf village I think could be fun and is sort of in the same oh Shrek genre by this, Yeah, fragle Rock.

Would you go to Fraggle Rock? Oh? Yeah? Oh yeah, Miles, Miles, you just want to live underground, and I love that.

I know you.

I want to move underground with you.

Donald Duck's house, it's just a rich guy's house. Yeah, exactly like McDuck's house.

Yeah.

Yeah, with coins you can actually dive in like it's water. Oh my god, can you imagine? Do you remember? Do you remember the first time you tried to attempt something like what you saw on the BNF ducktails of like swimming through coins like I remember my grandparents would have like this three gallon jug of like change. And I remember the first time I looked at him, like watch my hand go through this ship like water, and I almost broke my knuckles and I was like the hardest, Yeah,

And I would have. I would have found myself in a ballpit constantly. But I just don't know when the snake is going to bite you.

Yeah, Jack, do you remember that? Because because the thing was they didn't tell them right like they just thought they were getting enough ball weirdes ballpill and they're like a surprise, motherfucker.

I would not I I didn't see that one, and I would not have gone. I was in like the biggest ballpit I've ever been in in my life a couple of weeks ago, and I probably would not have felt comfortable going in there.

That's a first. I check it for snakes. Yeah, what's your worlds? I told you about Bubble World. Oh yeah, Bubble World, Bubble World, World World. Don't don't even worry about it, Blake. It's kind of a long story.

I'm very concerned that I haven't I'm coming out like world.

Yeah. It's an activation, It's an Instagram activation. It's an activation. Okay, Yeah, but I don't know.

I feel like there are opportunities here that are the Shrek one, not so much like the Shire from like I guess, I guess that's what is intriguing to me, is like the shyness of it all. But it was like if you could have the whole, like a whole.

Little town with like where you like run out the whole little shire they have that you said, And there's like a hobbitin tour. I know in New Zealand. I know, if you're trying to get fucking hobbity, you gotta go down to New Zealand. You gotta, yeah, Amity Island. I would, I would love to go. Where would you stay for vacation there? Like if there was his house, Wow, it was a house nice or wasn't it didn't kind of like a spooky house. I don't think it was spooky.

It was a shithole. His house was a ship hole. His house was coming to him.

I would I would.

Sleep in the shack that Quint lived in with all the shark jaws and like it looked like the least insulated. Uh really bad.

It does feel like low hanging fruit when you consider like how I know, like with the Star Wars star Cruiser thing, they had to kind of abandon I'm not sure like why I think it may have been like the price point or something, but clearly you can you can meld the fandom into like a location where people can stay. So like if it was Game of Thrones, I'm sure if there was some fucking winter Fell Park or fucking you know hotel, people would want to go there.

Yeah, you go from like nineteen fifty six house, nineteen eighty eight house to like future house. Yeah, like that you can like skip from one part to the next exactly.

Yeah. I'd be down for HUT.

Since we're entering Spooky season a couple where we'll be in October in a couple of what what's like A I feel I feel like we haven't fully cracked the Haunted House yet, Like I feel it. I feel like they could do you could do a spend the night in the house from Halloween and like the bodies are hidden and a Michael Myers figure is kind.

Of stalking you.

Yeah, the whole the whole evening sort of. I'd love to pay for that longitudinal haunted house where like last all night and you're just menaced.

I mean that that reminds you of like that one where the guy was like, it's like people fucking almost die when they do that haunted house, but he's really just like abusing people, right, Yeah, it's actually just as salt. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

They almost die because I put my my hands around their neck and see because I believed you may have actually were about to kill me, like but I wasn't, But I wasn't.

Yeah that's right. I don't know.

I would love to just go to mar al Lago just for just to spend a night in Marlago as a haunted house. That's my haunted house, just stand.

Yeah right, two billion dollars, as we talked about on yesterday's Trending, which is where I got to kick the Trump libel for fraud story to trending. But yeah, show him how the don't show him how the hot dogs are made. Check, yeah, the meat the hot dog arm made. Don't show him how the hot dog arm made, but the hot is made. There is like, it's funny.

The value of mar Lago is a big Trump has valued it at two billion dollars a building at two billion dollars, that makes total sense.

A judge valued it at like, you know, eighteen million dollars, which incident now eighteen million to twenty seven point six million, which incidentally way too much money for any one property to be worth, right, any any home that has ever sold for that much, Like you see how much it's sold for the next time, and people are like, whoa, you made a big fucking mistake on this one, pal.

Yeah, but that is what is at the heart of the entire you know, Donald Trump's story that this case, but also like the entirety of his rise is so much of this shit is just made up money. It's just made up numbers that they made up. He told everyone he was rich and became rich by telling everyone he was rich. That's basically what it comes down to.

It's dumber. It's kind of cool, you think possible. Yeah cool, it's not more complicated than that. It should be, but it's not. How'd you get that line of credit? Oh? You know my house that's fifteen hundred square feet? I said it was seven thousand square feet and worth five million dollars. Yeah, so I got that least that easy. I'll give you that money too. Yeah all right.

Well, Blake Wexler as always such a pleasure having you. Where can people find you?

Follow you? All that good stuff?

Today, September twenty eighth, my first ever hour stand up special is coming. Oh it is out or it's coming out at premieres at seven pm Thursday, September twenty eighth and on YouTube. It's free. And yeah, I'm I couldn't be more proud of it. If you know me personally, you know me saying that something I did is excellent will probably stop my heart in in moments. To have that kind of positivity and optimism about something I've done but yeah, I think it's a it's an excellent special.

Amazing see thank you. I love that it's called Daddy Long Legs. Thank you. Man knows his brand. It's that the legs, folks. It's about him with Daddy with legs. That's right. And is there work a media you've been enjoying.

Yes, uh so, it's at Jeff mcdev on x normally.

Twitter and talk about it. We just talked about Twitter. We don't don't get don't get sucked up. Don't get sucked up on you for I already let that crab tell you. Yeah. Texts TwixT TwixT formally Twizzler and you're good. That is good.

I should have written that instead of improvised. Can you edit your stand up special before if we can grant that?

In Just Hardcore voiceover dub one of the jokes.

Just there's completely apropos of nothing in the special of just it's a cutaway to the audience. TwixT formally Twizzler and then I don't even care, like no, but yeah, this is cut to hard, just like just an explosion out in the parking lot and comedy club. Yeah, the oh so work of media. There was a study apparently

Yeah yeah, and stop and kill. We've been talking about it, yeah, and I was so confused. We put our listeners to work. We said, go find like, make a full time job. If you want your children to say, if you want to survive, go out and stop and kill those they're like between my legs. I'm sorry, go ahead, No, it's gonna say those those are the ops. Now just go stomp them out.

Sorry, I didn't hear that, Joe, what was it? Blake said, Oh it was I. I could just do it again. I would take the lantern flies nest and I would put it in between my legs.

Okay, then smash it with your big strong legs. I plump them out.

Yeah.

Got that explains the odor that is would say as you did it, I would. I would go towards turn the light. That's been our a SMR segment of the Daily You're welcome. That's the patreon, our patreon. You look at our series of a SMR videos, though our hottest one is You're a lantern flag getting squished in Blake Wexler's sighs. Three. This time it's free. You're being hooked to death. Wow, Jacket is really going in on this as m Marsh barely hear it. So I'm making myself

Oh Jesus, Miles, where can people find you?

What's the work media you've been enjoyed? You find me on at Miles of Gray all over on Twitter formally x and the rest of it. Also find us on our basketball podcastles In Jack on Mad Boosties. We got Matt leeb on this week, and then also what else, what else? What else? Obviously Fourance and the Good Thief.

Let's see, there's a bunch of like white man math man, math, girl math and not dja as b said what is white math? And Pelavi Ganalin tweeted putting your grandma in a home and rescuing a dog.

Because we don't put them in homes.

And then at JP Brammer tweeted, they should invent a stretch so big and so satisfying that I black out. And there are some stretches that I do it's basically a flexing of my plumpers, of my upper of my thighs that when I stand up from a long sit and I give those plumpers a stretch, straighten my legs and stretches. Oh my god, that's about as good as it gets for this mortal coil us.

All the blood away from my brain and heart. It's great. Oh boy. Also, b I h underscore w Ee tweeted a photograph of the Phillies Pirates game. You know, the Pirate's logo is P. The Phillies logo is P. The score was zero zero, and he said, it's poop night in baseball. The scoreboard spells poop. I love it. What a treat and somewhat appropriate to the team's playing. How are the Phills doing? Did they? This is just clinched, Yeah, just clinched the first wild or a wild? Yes, it's I follow.

The Phillies so closely when I'm home staying with my dad, like every game is like He's like, you know, I find out everything about them. He's we watch every game and then I leave and I'm like, I have no idea, which is what's what's happening with them anymore?

Your whole opinion is just that window of three days. That one we find the entire one hundred and sixty two game season and it's like, that's right. They're on a losing streak. They didn't win a single game all year, and it's.

Like another the killing it. Anyways.

You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore Obrien. You can find us on Twitter at daily Zeikeeist. We're at the Daily Zeigeist on Instagram.

We have a Facebook fanpage and a website, Daily zeikes dot com, where we post our episodes and our footnote where we link off to the information that we talked about in today's episode, as well as a song that almost totally threw me up, as well as a.

Song that we think you might enjoy. Miles, is there a song you think people might enjoy it? Yeah, there's a track by Oscar Jerome. I don't have much information about this artist except that it showed up on a playlist I was looking at and it's called use It and it's got like it's just got kind of you know, chill going into your weekend, easy vibes, you know what I mean. With a live band playing if you like an sultry voice. You're gonna like this. So this is

We're everywhere that is gonna do it for us this morning, back this afternoon to tell you what is trending, and we will talk to y'all then.

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