Santa University Part 7

Happy holidays everyone. We're back. We're back with the tradition that won't quit, or it would be on me to do it. And I'm scared too, and so I won't quit. It'll keep going forever. Welcome to Santa University seven. My name is Jamie Long. This is the seventh time we've done this. It made me physically sick. I kept being like, that can't be true. It's true. It's true. We started in twenty seventeen and here we are, so welcome to the Santa University expanded family. We've got a doozy this year.

How should we do this?

Let's go. Let's Caitlyn. Caitlyn kick us off.

Hello. Hi, I'm Caitlin, and I will be reading the part of Kevin. I believe well, I won't spoil anything Kevin. We'll just say that, as well as reprising my role as Sully.

Miles.

Hi, I'm Miles, and I'm playing Dan Santa.

Wow, the man himself.

Magpie Hi, I'm Magpie. I'll be reading too many DVDs Santa, as well as all of the AI action lines that were not written by a human because I'm also not a human so it makes sense.

Wow, Angel Catherine, I have some big shoes to fill this year. I am reading Dean Santa, huge debut year Danel.

Hi, I am Daniel, and I am reading Mole Santa.

Another new character. We're very excited. Sharene.

I'm Sharene and I'm going to be reprising my role as Intellect Santa classic character Joelle.

Hi, I'm Joel Monique. You'll find me playing Ai, Dan, Santa, Cool Santa, and Jill Santa.

As we'll talk about I made a huge mistake.

Your turn, and I'll be playing Ai Jamie, a role I was born to play, and Samantha Jones.

The second role you were born to play.

Honeys Hi, I am in a host nine. I'm reprising my role of Gal Santa Sarah.

I'm Sarah, and I will be playing the role of Image Scary.

Uh prep prop what prop? I'll be playing head ass Santa looking.

At us, a requested character that I don't know if I execute did very well the life Victor.

Hi, my name is Victor. I'll be reading script notes.

Yes, the most manic part of the script.

Justin.

I am Justin.

I will be playing Arms, whereas I should be Santa, Mike Santa, and the cloaked figure. Pretty self explanatory. None of these roles will be uncomfortable for me in any way.

Shape.

I really do feel like I've done this to people, Okay, several times Santa University four if I remember correctly, Robert.

Evans, I'm going to be second Amendment Santa and primarily the character of Jamie Loftus, which I.

Did bring on myself and yeah.

What a do baby?

I will be God Santa or whatever.

And finally, Jack O'Briant.

Hi, I'm jacqu O'Brien. I will be playing the Zazz David Zazlove.

It's true, shockingly large part this year. All right, Coln, I really don't know this year. We'll see, we'll see. I did finish it technically on time. All right, let's get started. There's there's some business at the top. There's some some script notes to start with.

Launch. Between pages five sixty seven and five sixty nine of the ingenious screenplay Santa University, in which forty thousand Santas are admitted every year and only one graduate, are a series of thumb drives marked sensitive jingle information. Within on them are a series of surveillance footage conversations between Jamie Loftus and widely hated Warner Brothers executive David Zaslov from June of twenty twenty three. Wasn't that during the

Interior Jamie Loftus's writing study night.

The whole feel of this scene is eerie. Something isn't quite right, which feels especially obvious in a work as perfect as Santa University. Jamie doesn't quite sound like Jamie. Dan Santa doesn't quite sound like Dan Santa. Even the gorgeous voice that reads the action lines sounds better.

And then a third script note, just kidding.

It just felt weird to only have two enjoy the show, everybody.

The room is filled with the soft glow of a desk lamp, and the walls are adorned with inspiration boards featuring festive images. Jamie Loftus, the creative mind behind Santa University, sits at her desk, staring at a blank screen. Frustration at you is her face as she battles with the writer's block.

Come on, Dan, I need something magical here.

As Jamie mutters to herself, the air in the room shimmers, and to her surprise, Dan Santa materializes in front of her.

Did someone call for a bit of holiday magic?

Dan? What are you doing here?

Well, it seems my creator is in need of some inspiration. What's going on, Jamie.

Jamie gestures to her computer screen, where a cursor blinks on an empty document.

Writer's block, That's what I can't seem to figure out. The next chapter. It's like the holiday magic has left me.

Dan Santa chuckles and takes a seat across from Jamie.

You know, writing about the magic of Santa University is a bit like spreading holiday cheer. Sometimes you just need to tap into the spirit.

Easier said than done, Dan.

Think about what makes Santa University special? Is it the characters, the camaraderie, the challenges they face. Find the heart of the story and the words will flow.

Jamie nods deep in thought.

You're right.

It's about the characters, their connection and the joy they bring to the world.

Thanks Dan, anytime, Jamie. Now, let's bring the North Pole to life on these pages.

Inspired, Jamie starts typing, and as she does, the room fills with a subtle jingling of bells and the distant sound of laughter. The words flow effortlessly onto the screen as Dan Santa watches with a twinkle in his eye.

There you go.

The magic was inside you all along.

Thanks Dan, I couldn't do it without you.

As the scene unfolds in Jamie's writing study, the collaboration between creator and character weaves the holiday magic back in the Tale of Santa University.

Hard Cut two interior David Zoslav's office June twenty twenty three, made you look, bitch. The real Jamie loftis in her twenties, let's say, or.

At least looks like it.

I hope you're gonna make me move out of Los Angeles soon. I know. It sits at the desk of noted Hollywood villain David Zoslav, who spent most of the year lighting finished movies on fire for tax reasons, which is showbiz speak for getting pp hard. He looks like shit, but tragically can read. And that's part of the problem.

That's the punch up script for Santa University, My life's work. It sucks.

Sh baby boys are talking.

He pulls a slingshot from underneath his desk, which is made of lead. Everything in the office is made of lead. That's what daveyik. He looks out the window to where writers are striking outside and puts an egg in the slim shot. It hits David Lynch.

I'll get you, you set of a bitch, A really strong David Lynches enter the chat.

I'll see you in court, you midwestern fuck. Oh my god wow.

Page five hundred and sixty seven of the screenplay A Santi University, and the amazing screenplay has already passed the elusive Deck Dell test, which requires the two men named David's threaten each other with violence. Jamie looks across the desk at the punch up writer Amoj, a mannequin that looks just like her, but has a computer where its stomach should be. The mannequin also has huge boobs, which doesn't seem fair that show business, baby.

I hope you appreciated my efforts.

When Amog says Jamie, it's fucked even though I didn't write her saying Jamie, something's not quite right about it. The actor should try saying Jamie again in that.

Fucked up way, Jamie.

I try it again, Jamie, Please just fucking try Jamie.

Okay, I don't understand. You cost three billion dollars to make, and you don't seem to understand the concept of looking like shit and not being able.

To I understand perfectly, Jamie loftus young millennials trying to pass as gen Z Caspinett's not working, but I have been hired by David Zaslov.

The way Amos says David Zaslov is like how a two thousands. Computer game says, your name all stilted in weird.

To make your script more marketable to general audience. I am the only reason people get new episodes of Young Sheldon.

David Saslov sits back at his desk, putting the eggs. He throws at writers back in their carden.

That Amy Sherman Palladino sure can run, Jamie. I'm giving you an opportunity here. We'll make Sanna University, and all we need from you is to let us scary computer rewrite it and also cross a pigot line. And also we'll probably throw it away once it's done for tax purposes.

But you gotta play. You got to work with emoge.

iMOS, like said Jamie, scanning her face to use in background scenes for Hacks. She auditioned for Hacks, and now she's staring down the barrel of David Zaslov's sexy robot. Oh, that's probably why imoj has big boobs.

This is why I have big boobs.

I'll try letting the computer write stand University for just one scene, and if it works, I'll accept her as my master.

Great, could you bring her home with you?

Actually, I have an appointment with another sex robot in an hour and last time I left emoje in the room, she scanned my humping style, and now it's the house humping style in Young Sheldon.

Imoj stands up and shakily walks over to Jamie. They head for the door where they open. Where they opened, The two see the manions. They're much bigger in person. The tallest minion and therefore in charge, gives Jamie a sexy little look.

Bellow chica.

Wow, I'm such a huge fan. I'm going to be sick. Smiley face Emoji.

No one ever talks about how the minions canonically worked for Napoleon. It's in the first five minutes of Minions from twenty fifteen. A lot of criticism for that new Napoleon movie, but not a peep about how the minion's involvement in French colonialism was completely erased. We used to be a proper country. Just kidding, we didn't. David's Lost Lives slingshots another egg out the window, take that bomb Bach interior. Jamie's dirty apartment day. All is misery at

So in this scene, Dan Sanna falls into a hole and none of the other Santas help him. But it's not just any hole, it's a city hole, and therefore it's more complicated.

Which other Santa's are there.

Jamie consult her notebook, which is mostly covered in still wet.

Ragusas the whole gang goth Santa Gal Santa armswear's eye should be Santa Sully head ass Santa.

I am not familiar with the character of hat Ass Santa.

Of course not.

He only appears between pages five sixty seven and five sixty nine of the movie Santa University.

Not wanting to waste another moment considering how machines will replace her, Jamie frantically begins typing page five sixty seven scriptnote.

The actor playing Jamie must be hitting the keyboard really hard with their full palm, just slapping it.

Exterior Santa University outskirts near the city hole day Dan Santa walks a lonely road just outside Santa University, the only rote that he has ever known. There is a gigantic, deep hole in the middle of the road that he's walking straight toward. But his descent into looking like shit and not being able to to read is so advanced that he can no longer perceive city hole.

I'm such a freaking loser.

Yeah, He looks at the photo in his locket. It's a picture of Natalie Portman and Black Swane. Who can say why it seems to mean something to him? The fucko? He takes one step forward and falls in the hole. We hear him echo as he descends.

No University.

Interior, the city Hall continuous. Dan Santa lands in the hole far below. It's filthy and dangerous, surrounded by stalactites, jarz a p and sad graffiti reading pork Santa? Was he a dying in the hole? Twelve three, twenty ten.

I wonder what that says. It's probably something nice.

He looks up to the hole, but no one is there. He looks both ways. Is it safe to sing a song? Smash cut two Interior, Santa University Cafeteria, continuous. No one notices Dan Santa isn't at lunch in spite of his being the protagonist of Santa University. The whole gang Goth Santa, Gal Santa, and Intellexanta chow down on jingle stew.

The stew sure is thick.

Intellecxanta can barely talk through the almost solid stew.

Sick with the joy of holiday season.

But Gal Santa looks into the distance. This happens often in Santa University, as the writer is not good at women characters, and we'll sometimes just forget that they're even there. Sometimes she'll just launch them out of the scene without warning. But this time Gal Santa is pensive for a reason.

What's wrong, Gal, You've barely touched your thick, joyful stew.

I've got this weird feeling that Dan Santa is about to sing a song.

Not again. How many times we have to tell that week's son of garbage.

You don't want to hear him sing.

Without warning, Intellexanta is suddenly launched out of the scene through the glass ceiling of Santa University cafeteria.

Scriptnoe. The irony of this is not intentional, and if anyone writes a listical about it, I will start to poison my boyfriend's food.

So she bursts through the ceiling and out into the ether, into the great nowhere. No one in the scene reacts.

Where is he, gal Santa, use your feminine sonar or whatever.

Galsanta closes her eyes and focuses using her feminine sonar to locate a man she personally murders. At the end of the movie, she nods.

The city hole into like.

Santa walks back into the scene a little disoriented. She's been Sully, a fan favorite character who once fired Dan Santa from Lidzo.

Hey I'm back.

Was interior the city Hall continuous Dan Santa starts to sing the tenth god Awful exhaust Sting Ballad of Santa University.

Script note song must be commissioned from Sting. If you cut corners and hire Phil Collins, I will be able to tell I'm a virgin who sucks in.

Is not surprising.

That the station, Santa, you were still freaking rising. I'm so sad that I couldn't detail.

The hole. Now I'm stuck in this hole. Locker Santa mo.

Unreal incredible As if summoned by plot magic mole, Santa emerges from the shadows. He does not look like a mole unless and I didn't finish that funny as he joins in on the song without introducing himself to Dan Santa, who could blame him? Dan Santa's a piece of shit.

My name is Moul Santa, and I survive on Fanta.

I only move through this hole.

To escape Dan Santa. He looks like shit and he troubles my soul, and I'm pissed that he's falling in the city.

Hoh.

A third Santa peeks out from a stalactite. A third Santa has hit the Santa University city hall. Is that anything we start recording in twenty six minutes? It's head ass Santa.

I'm head ass Santa looking ass.

Stereeor Santa University outskirts near the city hall day Gal Santa leads the way with Goth Intellect and Sully, using her feminine sonar. Intellect and Sully are vibing. Sometimes the only way to remember to use woman character is to give her loud boyfriend, you.

Are still fucking beautiful, Intellectue Santo. Thank you.

Oh no, damn, she's kind of pulled it out of the scene anyway.

Tough break, Are we close? Gal Santa, I'll be honest. Without Dan Santa round, I tend to get lost in the mix. I'm his roommate. Remember I love Tim Burton movie.

Yeah, Gal stops sniffs the air, nods.

We're close.

Sure enough. The faint bars of Dan Santa's pathetic song can be heard coming from the near distance from the city hall.

Oh shit, oh fuck.

You know we're not gonna be able to resist joining the song. Let's turn around at the rotarie before we join in. Let's get a drink from the bubbla.

I've spent my entire life, which we know nothing about because the writer of Santa University didn't care resisting the urge to break into song.

We have to keep going.

They sold your fourth as the music. It's louder. It's getting harder to resist, God, Santa throws up.

Y'all.

Santa never wont to have my ket is it because I was fired from Lee.

When the emotion becomes too strong for speech, yo, you there.

At the hole and Galsis can't resist. She joins in this song, her veins straining against the desire.

Cool Santa is my boyfriend. Dean Santa is my dad. Actually that's not even true, As discussed in Santa. You six, though, that plot point won't come.

Back until like Santa wanders out from the bush is pissed off.

Hey, I'm back.

Was that the city hall?

Continuous Head Santa is in the middle of telling Dan Santa the story of his life when Gal Santa's gorgeous, generation defining voice pulls his attention away.

Hey, look, so I told my head ass father if he really loved me.

He looking ass Stop?

I don't care, Gal Gal, is that you?

Mol Santa puts his arm around a sad head ass Santa.

I told you, man, Dan Sanda's a piece of shit.

Exterior Santa University outskirts near the City Hall day Gal Santa collapses to the ground.

Theatrically miserable Galsanta, We're gonna like rescue you from this horrible musical number. You know, I'm gonna get some things too that that usually always.

Helps, And don't get Duncan and family guy intellects body starts to shift involuntarily. She starts humming the theme from Santa University to herself.

Who no, it's happening.

When emotion gets too strong for song, you dance. It's all of them now, They're all humming Santa University and moving their hips from side to side.

Go.

Santa has a huge butt, which is only coming up for.

The first time.

Now intellect Santa is the one to break it. Begins to sing.

Every fucking year.

Every fucking year they forget to write me something that is even vaguely interruptlated and I A shot is heard.

Breaking the tortuous song. The gang whips around a gal nearly falls into the hole. No one is injured this year. No one gets injured except David Zaslav. Later he's fine, though I can't get sued. Interior the City Hall Continuous, Dan Santa screams in horror at the sound of the shot.

First I fall in the city hole, then the woman I'm in love as hell where this is possibly injured near the city hole. The dramatic stakes of Santa University, of which I am the protagonists are relentless.

Mol Santa raises his eyebrows, judging.

Wow, you really don't care about your other friends, do you?

Near the City Hall continuous, the source of the scary noise reveals themselves. It's Second Amendment Santa holding a pile of guns for no reason at all. That's his whole thing.

Stop your Dan said, motherfuckers.

That's my fucking guy, mister senseless violence himself.

Second Amendment Santa, is he dead at this point in the story. If so, it's his ghost is flanked by fan favorites that sell millions of Funko pops every holiday season. Arms where his eyes should be Santa and too many DVD's. Santa Gal, Intellect, Goth and Sully cheer They're saved. God Santa gets up a little too fast and grows up more of the jingles.

Dot.

Wow, that vomit sounds really thick. Mind if I give it.

A touch.

Excellent read Wichael is one of his hands attached to his arms that are where his eyes should be. Suggestively, God Santa doesn't know how to say no to people and winces.

Uh, sure thing, I guess.

For the rest of the scene, arms were his eyes should be, Santa is just sort of touching the vomit, tuning in and out. Intellect Santa shakes Second Amendment Santa's hand, Thanks.

So much, Second Amendment Santa.

She's launched out of the scene again. This sucks too many DVDs. Santa fumbling with a pile of loose copies of Whiplash.

We saw you walking towards the city hole and got concerned. Second amendments. Sanna always keeps a close eye on all the Santa Santa University. He says it's for our safety, but I think it's because he fears something connecting the others.

Second amendment Santa shoots too many DVD Santa in the dick.

Unfortunately, God out, that's not true, you canniving little ass hole. I bet you don't even have a rare copy of the Abyss. How can you even say that? Besides, I just made a new friend at Santa University. He's a pretty cool guy. He looks normal and knows how to read.

He's too good for me. Come on, guys, Dan Santa, I ain't getting out of that hole, and my name isn't Sully Charles down. The yells will get him later.

It's too dangerous. We might start singing again. Come on, too many DVDs, Santa, stop being a baby.

Too many DVDs. Santa staggers to his feet as arms where his eyes should be. Santa finishes off the stew vomit.

God.

Santa is uncomfortable but relieved it's over.

Thank you so much, man, I really needed a moment of connection with someone.

Mm hm.

He throws up and arms where his eyes should be. Santa claps his eye hands.

Oh goodieymore.

As a Santa group heads into the distance and away from Dan Santa, we hear another muffled shot. Second amendment, Santa has all also shot himself in the dick. That freaking rascal, that's me, Dan Santa could be heard crying from the hole. As two characters we won't be hearing from this year pass Dean Santa, the gnarly old fuck himself, the headmaster of Santa University and Santa's father, not that

Yeah.

They walk away, never to appear again this year, unless just kidding. Interior the city Hall continuous Dan Santa sits in the fetal position in the city Hall, miserable mole Santa and head as Santa take pity on his ass.

Dan Santa. That was really messed up.

Yeah, and confusing plot wise. Why did your friends walk all the way over here if they want to talk to you?

That's just how the world works.

Sometimes it feels like there's some depressed woman sweating at her house making shit up.

Any seconds speaking a witch, I never got to sing my verse of a song.

I'm Dan, Santa, Jamie, Samie.

The scene starts to dissolve around Santa's Dan moule and headass. Very masculine scene and therefore awesome. Amos's voice pulls Jamie out of the zone and we fade back to Jamie's filthy, dirty little apartment, continuous the strain of writing. Yet another genius scene from Santa University has covered Jamie and flopp sweat as well as the increasingly urgent gas leak. She looks up to a passive looking emas soaked.

A scriptnoe in spite of being dirty. This set should cost a lot of money.

I don't need your help, imaj. I will never respect you or David Zaslov no matter how many eggs he throws at David Simon.

Jamie, I have prepared a holiday rap for hat ass Santa.

Jamie is torn. Does she want to hear Imas's hilarious little holiday rap? Of course she does. AI jokes are so easy to make, and that's why making them is probably playing into the hands of the oppressor. But I'm tired today, she sweats more.

No thanks, I already have one written and it's good. My wraps are very famous. My bars are known throughout the area.

She looks both ways before starting to perform tepidly.

Oh uh do I read rap? Okay, well, I'm supposed to do this like Will Smith. I'm not really sure how to do that, so I'm just gonna okay hah. My name's had a Santa, and I'm here to say my head is in my ass like every day.

Ivaj opens her mouth and an ominous siren sounds. Jamie panics, taking a shocked inhale of the gas that's still leaking in her kitchen. She falls to her knees.

Okay, I lied, my bars aren't known.

Ima shakes a robot head, trying to look smug, but the technology isn't.

There yet allow me. No.

The kitchen begins to dissolve around them, as Imas's sick career making scene for head Ass Santa takes over interior Santa University dorm common area night.

A script note it's another freaky AI passage and the narrator sounds better than normal.

The common area is adorned with dim fairy lights, casting a mystical glow on the eclectic mix of holiday decorations. Goth Santa with dark attire and mysterious aura lounges on a plush sofa. Head Ass Santa were in a comically oversized Santa hat bursts into the room with boundless energy.

Y'all, golf was good.

Not much, Just like embracing the darkness, you.

Know, ah embracing a dog, and I'm embracing the festic ka.

Check out this hat.

It's like a whole what a wonderland in my.

Head together and there are unique styles Goth Santa and heat ass Santa and bark on a festive adventure, proving that even the most contrasting Santas can find common ground. In the magic of Santa University. Head Ass Santa begins to sing a signature song, Holiday Magic Flow.

Y'all check it, y'all, y'all, y'all gather around. It's the time of year here, Santa University, spreading joy your cheer. I'm from the North Pole with a snows peer of bright with training, Santa's Day and Night, Ails in the workshop, Crafted toys, Glee, Reindeer's Stable, Ready for the spree, Jolly Jim in the mix, bringing up laughter, fun and tricks,

In the two set of King.

Hey, Jamie's voice cuts through the song, which unfortunately only gets better from there.

What is happening?

Stop the wedding interior, Jamie's disgusting apartment a bit of a city hall as well? If you know what I mean? And do you day? Jamie is miserable, covered in sweat, but this time from dancing. Holiday Magic Flow didn't have to go that hard?

Did you like the song?

A beat?

A long beat? Jamie tries to think of something negative to say about Holiday Magic Flow, when she loved it. It's really good that the WGA one AI provisions because the world could not handle holiday magic flow. Also labor rights. We start recording in sixteen minutes.

It was fine.

I mean, it would be pretty humiliating for a professional rapper and poet to have to perform it.

But it is that you liked it.

Also, Who's Jolly jim Oh?

He's a character I added to Santa University. Dan Santa wasn't testing well with audiences. People much prefer handsome, literate Santa's you bitch.

She tries to take a swim at Emags and Missus. The ghasolek is getting pretty bad. Has there been a ghaslk in Santa University before? I feel like there has.

You can't add characters to Santa University? Only I can after three MIC's hard lemonades.

Of course I.

Can add characters to Santa University. It's the whole reason I was created. To add Ip from the Warner Brothers portfolio.

Jamie's eyes widen, they say it in.

Unison Corporate Senergy.

Image grabs J's pointy head and clasps her hand on either side of her face in a vice grip.

Bitch, I could swish you like a grape. Bitch, I could got you like an eel an eel.

I can't do anything watch this emage. The room begins swirrel. Jamie is transported into an AI generated scene against her well interior Santa University common area day.

Uh script note AI narration again. Also the scene was Sophie Lichdermann's request, It's just true.

Samantha Jones, known for her bold and confident demeanor from Sex and the City, steps onto the festive grounds of Santa University. Samantha struts through the common area, turning heads with her unmistakable style. She spots Dan Santa, the main character of Santa University, checking his list twice.

Well, well, what do we have here Santa University? Honey, I bet I can teach these Santas a thing or two about spreading joy.

She approaches Dan Santa with a sly grin.

Oh hello, can I help you help me?

Darling? I'm here to add a touch of spice to your holiday routine.

Dan Santa looks intrigued, but not entirely sure what to make of Samantha's bold entrance.

We're all about spreading holiday joy and warmth here. How can you contribute?

Oh, honey, I've got a few tricks up in my sleeve. Let's shake things.

Up a bit.

She takes Dan Santa by the arm and they walk together through the festive grounds of Santa University.

We cut back too, just a quick note. I think that if you pay for chat GBT, they'll let them fuck.

But I'm not sure.

I don't know. They only imply, okay, interior means dirty, nasty little apartment night. It's been hours, and Jamie's eyes flutter back into consciousness. She didn't want to admit it, but she loved it. The Samantha seemed was so funny. What the fuck? She mumbles to herself as iMOS comes into view, sitting in the corner, smugly.

Should have made city whole joke in the Samantha bit.

Oh don't go blue, it makes you look in secure.

Jamie is now fully alert and sees that she's changed to with a piping hot radiator. It's interesting, she thought to herself in passing. Even though she herself is not in the screenpap for Santa University, which she is, it still feels as if the stakes of her own life are rising almost as if art reflects. iMOS kicks Jamie in the head.

I'm kicking you in the head and delivering this line of dialogue. I am going back to David Zaslov's office and telling him you don't want a co writer for a Santa University. You want me to replace you.

Never You're not fit to polish Young Sheldon's shoes.

IMA's laughs maniacally, leaning in close to Jamie.

A ha ha ha ah. That's right, bitch. I'm going to add John Snow to Santa University. I'm going to add Ken doll Roy to Santa University. I'm even going to add she.

Leans into Jamie's ear. It's erotic, the gossip girl removed. No, all you have to do is tell me how the scene ends. How does Dan Santa get out of the city hole. Jamie resists the gas, realizing Imags must have started the leak herself to trap her close shave for the writer of Santa University, who was worried they might have to go back and take the whole section out.

Few fine, don't tell me. I'll find a way to get him out of there, even if I have to.

Script note, she makes a hilarious and prescient reference to Deadwood here, what is Deadwood about? Jail prohibition? Who's the main guy?

Emar slams the door after killing it and really landing the Deadwood joke. Jamie struggles to hang on how did Dan Santa get out of the City Hall? As she fades out of consciousness again, we're taken back to the city Hall night. Dan Santa sits alone as head as Santa and Mol Santa sleep peacefully nearby. They honks she adorably, but Dan Santa is deep in his feelings.

They just replace me like I was nothing, Like I looked bad and had no skills.

Such a fucking loser.

What the freaking heck? Dan Santa hallucinates, and I'm so sorry you could. Jill and Mike Santa his parents who sent him to Santa University so that they could spend more time with some clowns they met on Tinder.

Mom, Dad, why are you ghosts?

She looks to Mike Santa, squinting and trying to remember who she's talking to.

That's our son, Ah right, I'm Dan Santa. When did you die?

Well?

Son?

It's true what they say, what with fucking around and finding.

Out especially with clowns from Tender.

How you doing, shit bag?

What's what the hole?

Oh geez, you guys must be so freaking disappointed. I lost my job at Lid's. Everyone at Santa University freaking hates me.

We hate Joe Ass too.

Even the guys in the hole hate me.

I'll be honest, Dan Santa. We didn't want to visit you if we were really hoping to go to Dennis Leary show.

And besides, when you're a ghost, you conneg someone so much they fly.

They Oh my freaking gosh.

Dan Santa looks down. It's true. The pure hate ridden indifference from his parents has him floating several feet off the ground. He makes a series of gleeful noises that are hard for the listener to endure.

Keep going, Mom and Dad, keep hating that I'm your son. Let's see, I heard you got replaced to Linz with a seven year old.

I ran into your high school algebra teacher the other day, and when I said you were doing well, he said, that's too bad.

I genuinely thought I wanted to be a parent until I saw your little mute net poking out of me.

It's working, Dan Santa's getting nagged so hard that he begins to levitate up, up, up, until he's completely out of the city hole.

Mom, Dad, you nagged me out of the city hole.

What's your name again?

Jill and Mike Santa stop listening. Their ghosts are making out in the hole. I have nowhere head as Santa and All Santa shake their fists and swear at Dan Santa, thanks.

For fucking nothing, Dad Santa.

Yo, no reading, headass, dumb ass, dumb looking ass, pretty ass, stupid ass, head ass, you piece of shit. After and after I sang my song, awesome song, head ass, stupid ass.

Dan Santa is two looks like shit to care. He soars into the atmosphere, chanting.

I'm Dan Santa.

I'm Dan Santa. I'm Dan Santa.

Bitch.

We know.

He levitates so high he's out of Santa University. Off the page, into Jamie Loftus's writing study. Oh no, the computer is taking over a kitchen full of gas. Jamie can't believe her eyes. Is Dan Santa, the man she's been writing for six years, descended into her apartment like an ugly ass angel. He smiles knowingly, his stinky boots touching the floor.

I'm Dan Santa here, You're real. That's the magic of Christmas, Isn't it that special time of year when everywhere where you look there's some.

Guy who I'm familiar with your reputation?

Are they Are they gonna kiss? Dan Santa's been getting a lot of action in the last few years. Nope, Dan Santa chickens out at the last second, turns his head and starts to sing the.

Perfect Santa is kind and good.

No fucking way, Dan Santa.

Ah Man, no one likes me songs.

Unchained me from this radiator. We start recording Santa University in eight minutes, and we still have to kill David Zaslav.

Dan Santa dexterously unchains her and Jamie thanks for a fleeting moment. What would those hands feel like? Hun never mind? Never mind? Interior David Zaslav's office night. David Zaslav sits at his desk getting his shoulders massaged by imaj looking at a freshly printed copy of Santa University.

My Time the nighttime really cool.

iMOS strokes his hair. But she's got some ragusauce on her hand from hanging out at Jamie's apartment for too long, So it's missy.

She had to admit it, David, My script was simply better. When I showed her the character of Charlie Jim, she wept.

I just think we could get Ryan Reynolds for Jolly Jim.

She said, And I quote Charlie Jim is way better as a protagonist than Dan Santa. Dan Santa looks like shit, and.

Dan Santa kicks down the door, or tries to. It takes a few tries, it only half works. Jamie ends up just opening it for him as emagen. David Zaslav look on, kind of trying not to laugh at him. Jamie pieces her head in uh uh.

He was just gonna say, can't even read, I'm Dan Santa. Hia.

Jamie still has the shackles around her wrist and hurls it out. This was written very fast, taking imas down to the floor. Her head shatters instantly. The battle takes over four four.

Hours, like.

So, I guess the security guy in front fell asleep. He just let Jamie and Dan Santa in a series of high octane shots. David Zaslov uses Batgirl DVDs as throwing stars. What else are they good? For Dan Santa tries to do a flip but lands on his head. Jamie spots up plot convenient vault on the other side of the office. Oh didn't mention that before, Well it was there. Dan Santa and David Zoslov get into a slap fight. Dan Santa slaps David Zaslov closer and closer to the open vault.

You fool, I'm a slapping machine.

Oh crap, my hands are getting tired.

Across the room, Jamie slingshots an egg at David Zaslov's head, launching him into the vault. Dan Santa slams it shut. Thank god, I'm really running out of time. Jamie and Dan Santa embrace.

He'll be okay for legal purposes.

Thank you so much. Strange woman i've never met.

Yeah, I guess you don't know who I am, and maybe that's for the best. You belong at Santa University and I belong at my dirty apartment that keeps leaking gas.

Dan Santa does a hat tipping motion, but isn't wearing a hat. He can't pull it off.

I guess it's just another year at.

The whole cast pops their little heads into the windows, doors and air vents, as if by stove induced magic. The whole cast sings the classic song, fading into the ether of Jamie's stove gas addled mind until twelve hours before Santa University starts next year. She looks around at David Zaslav's office.

What a really cool day for me?

Freeze frame the end, except the camera pulls into where Imaj has crumpled to the ground. There's a flicker of remaining in image's eyes. Post credit scene interior, SANDFORDI University Common Area.

Night script noo AI section.

The campus is quiet, bathed in the soft glow of twinkling lights, and surrounded by the magical hush of a winter's night. The credits have rolled, but there's one more scene left to unfold. In the common area, a cozy fire crackles in the hearth. The camera zooms in on a table adorned with letters to Santa and empty milk glasses from the student's festive celebrations. Suddenly, a gust of wind sweeps through the room, and the air shimmers with

Valvalval Sansor University certainly knows how to keep the holiday's spirits alive.

The figure steps forward, revealing a mischievous smile. It's none other than Crampis, the legendary Christmas demon known for punishing naughty children.

But perhaps there's a room for a little mischief from the darker side of the holiday spectrum.

As Crampis disappears into the shadows, mischievous jingle echoes through the room, leaving a hint of uncertainty and excitement for what might come next in the world of Santa University. Fade out. The post credit scene leaves the audience with a touch of mystery, teasing the potential for new adventures and challenges in the magical world of Santa University.

They mulloween, Joele and Justin I'm so sorry happen. He's mostly just yelling at Miles.

That's pretty funny though, you just roasted it.

That was actually my idea for head ass Santa, where he just comes in and just roast people.

It's his whole role.

He'll be back.

Thanks guys, Thank you so much for seven seven.

Consistency.

I gotta I gotta take a shower so bad