RIP ScanTrend 9/20: Scantron, Mountain Dew, Golden Bachelor, F-35, Don Trump Jr., Gen Z Tattoos

Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of ri I P.

Scan Friend.

Ah ah you love just too soon, that is Miles.

Yeah, it is on this somber day, the.

Somber day when uh, you know, a couple of days ago. We've been talking about it off Mike, but we figured we might as well bring that conversation into the public. Scantron's going away, Sat going.

Full dig Yep, they're going full digimond the Ace, the ap exam, uh like class quizes apparently like there's just the you know, a tablet and ship is taking over and the you know, multiple choice form of education that we know is soon to you know, go away, which is probably a good thing because like it, like in this article, it's an interesting article in what is it, uh the Atlantic, just talking about like the evolution of it, like how like suddenly with like the baby boom, they're like, man,

Question?

Do the bubble?

I mean they're still they're not going away away from multiple choice Are they no, but it.

But it is bringing up like this is like, I guess this is the sort of knock on effect of watching these things become more digital. Is that are we going to now rethink this idea of like multiple choice tests, like this way of assessing through multiple choice because if you're just really good at like narrowing it down. I was always told in my like in school, they're like, yeah, you know, go with see there's a higher probability.

The answer cee for you.

It sounds like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah they were really good, dude, what you want. This feels like a couple of things. This feels like something that we're going to turn over to AI way too soon, and they're they're just gonna be like, yeah, we're actually AI evaluate students and it's just going to do an absolute shit job at.

It would be my guess.

It also feels like there's I don't know, there's more too, Like I feel like Scantron.

Got bought by a private equity company.

Because because yes, it does seem like a day is coming soon where we won't need this, but certainly does not feel like it's not needed anywhere in the world right now. Like already, you know, like we still have phone books, like phone there's still dropping phone books on people where front you.

Get a phone book still, Oh yeah, I have not gone a fucking phone book in ten years.

Yeah, I mean I don't.

I don't think I've had one dropped on my porch, but like I know, my parents like have one for sure.

They just got that old number they've been keeping since like ninety six.

Yeah, because I think because they still sell ads in there. There's like a whole advertising industry that uh, you know was making bank, like local advertising was making bank and in phone books, and so they still I think they still dropped. Maybe maybe that's gone away in the last few years, but well, like they're there are these things that like kind of keep going because they are profitable.

There's also just the debate within education about how our standardized tests are fucking just biased as fuck totally, and so I think they're I think there's multiple things going on, but but also the phone book thing you really got, I was like, man, I miss a phone book because I used to tear phone books a half as a party trick in college.

Yeah, I know that was what got you with the just time we met hosted this podcast and.

I was like, was this a phone book? You're like, no, that's a memoir. I'm working.

Not anymore.

Well you think of that, dude, that was like three hundred pages. I just ripped right there. I got the job.

Yeah.

So anyways, but rip Scantron. Cool name, we can all agree, like, sounded like a fucking transformer in the middle of the school thing, you know.

Oh yeah, bro, fucking scantron. It's like a sick ass DJ name. But did you ever have someone brazen enough to mark their scantron with the key like you bubble in key, because you know, when you run it through the machine, there's there's the answer key, like you could bubble in and it would say that you're you're fucking scantron was.

The answer key?

No, I didn't know someone fucking tried it. I remember my high school and it was a fucking disaster, Like it didn't work out, just didn't think it through. Like this asshole suddenly has one hundred percent on the test and then everybody else is like fucking got like a fucking d score.

It was like a whole fucking thing.

Oh but it worked. It was It worked too well.

It worked to the point that there's no way you could finesse that unless you are dealing with somebody who is so like not paying attention but like it.

It became very clear. But anyway, so more.

Important things talking about than a children's education, which you know, some people believe the children are the future. I believe the future is Mountain Dew Taco Bell.

If you think children are the future, you're probably with skynet. Dude.

Yeah, you're fucking joke man, worried about that ship.

Okay, Mountain Dew.

Wow, this is this is like a weird headline that they say, Mountain Dew and Taco Bell are now experimenting with a new energy drink.

Cool, And I'm like, is Mountain.

Do not already like a quasi energy drink Baja Blast.

Yeah, it feels like they they've cracked the code already, but yeah, there's still a code.

Red, the code red, dude, Mountain Code red.

But apparently there's gonna be Baja Blast charged Berry, which includes I never even fucking heard of this ingredient no cit citicklin cytokaline.

It's brought to you by a city bank, uh c i ti col i any. It's a it's an upper that is you buy a City bank and Mountain Dew.

It Actually every SIP does improve your credit score by a third of a point.

So get in, Get in young kids. It says it takes the Mountain Dew energy.

I can know what it says includesive from the Mountain Dew energy, Baja Blast, which is one hundred and eighty milligrams of caffeine per twenty seven point two on serving jack.

What do you think about that?

That's not bad. That's pretty high. That's not like illegal. Let's not put right.

You know, it's pushing the limits of two hundred milligrams, which it's not. Many people were quick to point out when I suggested like there might be some sort of barrier there that there are energy drinks that go past two hundred milligrams of caffeine. But it does seem like that was like the place where the a lot of different companies felt safe stopping was to milligrams of caffeine.

There was probably some study done where they're like people start getting fucking weird after under like they don't want to buy it again.

Like this gets some double just second guessing their own brain when they drink it. They're like, am I freaking out?

You have to be like real desperate to make some money because like they're like, you know, one out of every one hundred thousand people's heart will explode and like literal lightning bolts will start coming out of their eyes and nostrils as their heart explodes. Uh, but you know, oh shot, because it's gonna be people are gonna that's that's good buzz marketing.

Dude producer Brian's just dropped in the chat that it is a cytokoline or city Colne, Thank you, city Bank. As a natural chemical in the body, seems to play a role in brain health, and it's sold as a supplement and is usually try and help sharpen thinking in people with blood flow problems in the brain.

Okay, so are you are?

We are as like part of I wonder if part of the sort of value proposition is like you will have super brain and be geeked up off caffeine when you drink.

Uh, I'm probably I don't know, I don't I'm not a huge connoisseur of the energy drinks, Like I will experiment with different levels of coffee, different you know, different drips, different being darkness. Yeah, I don't like it, just like I've felt too much like shit from actual energy drinks. They kind of fuck me up a little bit, you know.

You consider like Vietnamese coffee and energy drink.

No, because that's shit of sugar in it, doesn't it.

Yeah, but that shit, I feel like it's so like, for whatever reason, I'm not really caffeine sensitive, but whenever I have a Vietnamese coffee, I'm like fucking fight here.

Yeah, I don't think I've spent a lot of time with the Vietnamese ice coffee, so maybe I need to give it another go. But I do like when I mix in sugar with my caffeine, it does like kind of fuck me up a little bit and give me like some.

Some weird You're up, you're down, You're up your down, I'm.

Up them down, I'm up them down.

Yeah.

Suddenly it's three days later and I'm in a Taco Bell parking lot. Don't know how I got there. All right, Uh, let's take a quick break and we'll come back and talk about We've got some updates to recent stories about the Golden Bachelor, about the f thirty five, We'll be right back, and we're back and super producer Becca Ramos during the break let us gave one of the greatest product endorsements. I think I've ever heard your caffeinated beverage beca. How are you doing?

And tell us what happened with the Vietnamese ice coffee recently?

She chimed. She chimed in with the chat we're talking.

I said, never forget I almost died a few weeks ago on the Vietnamese ice coffee.

Were like, wait, what wait?

And now we're saying, oh, I never felt closer to doing a hard drug than drinking Vietnamese iced coffee. A few weeks ago. I was real tired, had just come from a costco run in the morning. My partner and I were like, let's get a Vitnamese iced coffee.

Looks good?

Why not? Both of us were like itching out of her skin. He did like a fifty mile bike ride. It was not enough. I was like, my god, sweating. I was reorganized in the pantry. At one point, I was just like screaming in my house. Because I was just like, maybe this would burn the energy. I was like, ah, like nothing was working. I like could not sleep it was. I didn't even finish it. I like put it in the fridge for later. I poured that out. I was

Weeks after that.

I was like, no coffee, actually any of it.

No telling you it's robusta beans, not a rabica. Oh okay, And they say most of coffee you drink is a rabbica. Yeah, like out here so and apparently it's got it's like at least double or nearly double the fucking caffeine.

Where did you pick that ship up? Was it like a Vietnames restaurant or.

No, it was like this new coffee shop in Brooklyn. I want to say it was probably closer to like Cobble Hill area if you're in Brooklyn. I think it was a Vietnamese coffee shop. Like it was Asian owned and they were like, yeah, have our specialty Viennamese ice coffee. We're like, oh, that's so cool. And then we were like never again, We're.

Gonna do like in La.

This is just what Vietnamese ice coffee is that's not like this was a cursed time.

I haven't like I like have to put on like I need to get in the hannibal Lecter thing, yeah, and be like put on a dolly with a fucking mask on because I don't know what the fuck is going to happen.

I remember himself.

I remember one of the first times I was hanging out with my friend like this is like back when we were younger, right, and with someone's parents was like out of town, like yo, I'm watching my like come through my parents' crib like we could hang out party whatever, and we got some bomb meat sandwiches and some ice being to mese ice coffee.

I was I got so anxious.

I fucking I've just bounced on without telling him I had to go home.

I need to say nothing. I was like, bro, I can't even be here right now, like something.

That's how I felt.

I was like, I my brain is no, It's like like that's how I felt.

I thought I would explode all over screaming.

I was like, I was like organizing the pantry like in like a sports broad shorts. I was like, I can't even wear shirts to and I was like, like, what did you scream?

Do you remember literally like that.

I was just like like it was like, this isn't working. I was like yeah, I just was like I just scream, it'll like release the energy.

Yeah right, No, that makes that tracks.

But yeah, it's like the caffeine pushes through to the point of being like unproductive. Yeah, because you're just yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, then you're just going in every different direction. Thank you Becca for sharing your experience. The podcast normally doesn't talk about NDEs, but you know, we can't talk about your

Yeah, just find you a place so because you can make it a nice day, you know, you get like some.

Spring roll, some fu on.

Me, and then take that ice coffee and then make sure it's a full moon and chain yourself to the radiator in the basement.

To see where it goes.

All right, Uh, the Golden Bachelor star Gary, what do we decide here?

Gary? I don't know.

It's like, I mean, he says his name is Gary, although we see it as Jerry and.

I'm not I don't want to be Ry.

Yeah yeah, yeah, anyways, Gary, Jerry good Jerry.

He has spilled some details about his fantasy suites and used the phrase knocking the boots.

Yeah, and we were a little bit like what the fuck?

But apparently he was just trying to say, like I'm you know, I just like to do some fun cliche phrases, and that's why he.

Says trying to avoid cliches.

Oh yeah, he said, I.

Guess what I was trying to do is avoid some of the cliche phrases about physical intimacy. And maybe I did just the opposite. Yeah, yeah, I like you want to feel old. The song knocking the Boots by Age Tongue did come out the year Jerry was born.

Oh my god, yeah, that's.

Use nineteen fifty. Wow.

Yeah, could you imagine that came coming to nineteen fifty the body of hock and knock in the boots.

Like he was in his thirties when that came out, so like.

He he like, you know, it just solidified as like a cool younger phrase for him in his brain.

This is he was probably like, don't say making Whoopee, don't say making whoopee, don't say.

Me, And we made knock the boots. Yes, sick that one. But I like how he's he's really clarified.

He said the fantasy suites were about connecting intellectually and emotionally and not about connecting physically.

Okay, that's what you said.

I guess with some wisdom, age of wisdom, you realize that the most important and lasting things that you're looking for in a relationship come from the areas other than physical intimacy.

Interesting, all right, I mean that's not a great ad for the Golden Bachelor.

Probably well, who knows, maybe, but you know, you say that and then watch cut to you know, the freaks come out at night.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

We can all pray, we can all pray.

We have an update on the f thirty five that it was. It was found in a debris field. It was found sixty miles away from where the pilot checked so that she just kept filling.

Shout out to a dB on Twitter for bringing that to our attention. Really looking at him like sixty fucking miles is so funny.

Every video I've seen of a pilot ejecting granted it's always on Reddit and it's some catastrophic shit. It's just like they're doing it because the shit's about to crash.

Yeah, but like this.

Guy apparently is like you, O, motherfucker, I don't know what the fuck this thing is doing.

Like I don't. I'm not gonna be tethered to this fucking thing. Peace.

Yeah, that's wow. It's a it's a long way. That's that's crazy. Yeah, Donald Trump Junior's twitter was hacked. This spokesman has had to come out and say because there is a tweet by him that said, I'm sad to announce my father, Donald Trump has passed away. I will be I will be running for president in twenty twenty.

If it's somehow believable that that's how he announced that.

The king is dead.

But worry not, ah, Prince Coca a Lot shall be your savior.

Yeah that is funny.

Yeah, some of the tweets were fucking wild though.

Yeah, like some of them have fucked Joe Biden. North Korea is about to get smoked, and when I become president, I'm going to burn the SEC.

Yeah, that's that is very specific. That feels like worthy was he hacked or.

Was he is did he just have like pain induced psychosis?

Hey look, or he'll say, hey, man, I had a couple of one too many Vietnamese coffees.

Yeah yeah, And because like screaming into the void and it screams back.

How often do we see that I got hacked defense and we're a little bit dubious. Yeah, but this is kind of like it is wild fucking reckless shit that was being tweeted.

So I don't know who knows who knows?

Yeah, I do, you know, I do really appreciate that I will be running for president. In the same tweet where he announces that his father has died, Yeah that isn't that, Like, well.

It feels real because that would be the like sort of pace of thought for like one of the Trump kids, where it's like, okay, Dad's died.

What do I get now?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, that's it, Like that's.

All they're waiting for, is like to hear that and like, okay, so what do I get?

Yeah?

It would be like the Succession episode, except they would already be like fighting each other and scrapping for power by the time the boat docked again.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

There would be like a fifteen minute sadness.

Yeah, a brief sadness. All right.

Finally, artists are breaking down gen Z tattoo trends.

You saw some cool stuff in there.

Oh yeah, man, well I don't know what to think of tattoo. You know, I don't have tattoos. I don't think about them that often. So this was just this is informative, you know, to kind of see what the what the youth see what I've been seeing described in a listicle.

Yeah, what was the what was the one trend that you were You're.

A little bit like, huh, well, the one that I think is neat. I think ty tattoos. They're pretty neat, mild.

Okay, hell yeah.

Gen Z have their unique take on the classic butterfly tattoo. Maybe some tiny butterflies, I don't know, but more like iconic versions of butterflies.

It's wild to see like people trying to do like chrome or metallic.

Yeah, I don't like that.

So one of them was a new wave of artists are experimenting with textures and materials, and I am experimenting with saying no thank you to that one.

If you got a tiny tattoo, what would you get Oh, I don't know, man. You never you never like looked at your arms or your body, like, yo, what if I.

Put a little tattoo there? Or like, yeah it has it just never crossed your mind at all?

It it has.

But then I've I'm just really intimidated by the decision making process of like what I would put there.

The permanence of it all too.

One of the ones that uh suproducer Becca has done that is outlines as a new trend is a letter like things written in the penmanship of loved ones. Yeah, so that's cool either one. Maybe maybe that's something I could do.

Michael Jordan's autograph.

Yeah, just Michael Jordan's signature next to the jump Man.

Or you do it or one for you or you do like a big fake bloody shark bite on your thigh signed by Jaws, Like dude, you want to see something got my whole ship bit?

Yeah, I mean, like, if I had gotten a tattoo for like the majority of my life, it probably would have been something evolving a shark and I probably would have regretted it at some point. Or yeah, the tiny one the Jumpman logo, dude.

I remember there.

I've seen a guy with a Jumpman tattoo at this park we used to go to, and it was the thing does not look good at all.

It's logo.

And I'm saying that to someone who has a fucking sports logo emblazoned on their fucking body.

But you know, when I've.

Tried to draw the jump Man, like, I like get around to the start of it, and I'm like, oh, that shit is lopsided as hell. Like maybe I would get my hand like something I do my drawing of the Jumpman logo.

Do you have a pen near you?

Yeah?

Try here?

You draw jump Man right now, and I'm a draw jump Man. And then we're gonna compare.

Well, all right, well we'll do it off Mike because we're out of time. We'll do it off Mic and compare tomorrow. But I will say one of one of mine always seems to have a very lumpy leg.

But he is. It's not him in a Bulls uniform.

You know, connoisseurs will know that it's actually him.

Hold that whoa.

It looks like an alien doing Saturday night fever discordancy.

It's pretty good.

Actually, I'm actually really impressed. Mine would not look that good.

It looks like one of the creatures from a rival. Yeah, to start a hooping.

All right, That is what is trending on this Wednesday, September twentieth. We are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to y'all tomorrow.

Bye bye,