Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Pokey Trend Shaped Cheeto in honor of our first story.
My name is Jack O'Brien. That over there is Miles Bred.
Oh thank you, Oh my god, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for thanking me. Oh thank you, right off the bat, Miles. Yep, let's be heard about the rock pipe theory. Shout out Connor O'Malley. Great video that we'll be talking about in a moment probably forever, but forever, for now and forever. But first we got to get to the top story of the day, which is that a Pokemon shaped cheeto sold for nearly ninety
thousand dollars according to CNN dot com. At first, I was skeptical, you know, how.
Could a cheeto possibly look like a Pokey Maine exactly?
But so it looks like charizard it do.
So I went, it's in a It's in like a glass case that you would like keep a baseball card in. That's also inside another glass case that you would keep like the crown jewel inside of. So this is a fucking dead stock cheeto. Yeah, this shit never saw the outside of a bag.
They were just like gloves. Yeah, exactly dead stock cheeto dust on there bro no dust transfer, no dust transfer even when this thing was being set. Yeah, but so.
Yeah, skeptically first when I went and saw it though, So it has this combination of, uh, it actually looks like charzard, but it also looks like a cheeto enough that it looks accidental, you know. Yeah, So that combination makes it one of the finest specimens I've seen. I still think they slightly overpaid it ninety thousand. I'd probably put the value closer to seven dollars and fifty cents, but a remarkable specimen nonetheless.
Yeah, you know, yeah, I mean, I'm currently bidding on a cheeto that shaped like the Persian princess Shaherazad, and it's not going about fifteen bucks, right, I think a much more seminal figure. But yeah, whatever, dude, if that's your shit and you have that much money, to fucking piss away and I don't know nothing, nothing means anything, So yeah, buy your ninety thousand dollars.
For it really matters. Got I'm a good singers. That's the second story. I'm a really good singer.
Third story story this nothing nothing really matters to me.
Oh, that was all the same note I was sinking. Maybe it's the same note. All right, big news for us, I guess not us. Right, So there's a new generation here, like starting right now, babies born going forward. So babies up to this point have been JEN Alpha Alpha alf
this generation they've decided to just go straight up Gen beta. Yeah, they're calling them jen beta, which that's it feels like they're going to like to watch other babies nursing on their mom like that whatever the cuck equivalent of a baby is.
You know, I think that's what.
Weird too. Yeah, and they're buying too much avocado toast and not buying enough engagement rings, so they're off.
The engagement ring market has fucking collapsed. Things generation started being born. Yeah, they don't have as much disposable wealth as past babies.
Uh, it's there. We're so the generation. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And it was like that's what this one's going to be called, more and more screwed. Yeah, these are the people that are like and like the younger Gen Alpha are the people that may live to see the twenty second century, you know what I mean, Like this is this is the way people.
Yeah, yeah, they should all things. I mean, I think on average they will at this point, born in twenty five, they should, they should get to seventy five, I hope.
So, I hope.
Yeah, because, as we've seen, healthcare in this country is progressive and just keeps getting better and better. So yeah, surely lifespans will. Oh wait, what's this about nobody regulating air pollution anymore?
Never mind, we're all fucked. Good boy, Jen Beta though, Hey, good luck out here.
It's tough, Jim Beta, Jim.
Beta, you come to me on this day of my daughter's wedding.
I don't know. Does it sound does it sound like it could be Jim Beta?
I like more bib Fortuna from Star Wars. Ah they want gen Beta and like then Jaba is like, yeah, sounds like a thing, sounds like something.
That is what we have figured out. We figured out that I'm a good singer. And Jim Bade sounds like something.
It sounds like bid for tuna, talk bib.
For tuna, that I need a big fortuna. That's how much. That's how much I'm gonna be housing these fucking poke balls. And dang bib, dang bib, what a stupid joke.
You try and tell like some Star Wars fans and like Dode, shut the fuck up. They just try and tell on your podcast.
You're tired of talking about Donald Trump, so we're just doing anything to fucking well.
Look, there is some news. The Supreme Court did basically say like, sorry, assholes, you got to pay that two billion dollars that you thought you didn't have to pay. So that's that's that's a that's a bit of niceness. What what. They denied Trump's request to block the two billion dollars for an aid payment, so they held up a lower court decision five to for a vote. That's where Amy Coney Barrett and John Roberts flipped on him to get that one to squeak by it. But a lot of it too, is just slip.
Yeah.
I do call Amy Cony Barrett and John Roberts the flip mode squad. Yeah yeah, you did always say that.
Yeah. John Roberts is like the spliff star of the Supreme Court.
Slow down shot of Trump, Tony Barrett and her being like, god, damn it it is. Now here's here's my outside theory though, Pardy chess. No, she's praying for him. That would be because so in the clip, she looks at him and then closes her eyes in a pained way, looks directly ahead, closes her eyes again in a pained way.
I think a lot of people are.
Like that is how I would act if I was like this fucking asshole.
But but you think she was trying to most people, I.
Think she's just like, dear Lord, please protect him with the Holy Spirit.
Your Lord, please protect your lord.
Donald Trump, Yes, exactly, Please protect your father.
To your father God, please protect your fad they're Donald.
And then uh, there's some question on whether he's holding up the tariffs. This is a genre of news story I'm not crazy about where it's like they're trying to go Trump into doing something that's gonna fuck everybody over where they're like, WHOA, well, I thought you were tough with the tariffs, bitch, what do you you know what I mean?
Like, I know you have to report on it, But like the thing where.
They're like, oh, not such not such a tough guy anymore about the tariffs, or about like the deportation fucking police coming through and they're like, wow, looks like he's not deporting as many people as Biden was. It's like, well, yeah, Biden was a fucking monster. What do you Yeah, we're yeah, anyway, that's.
The other thing he was. Well, the other thing too, is like they're talking about potentially taking away Temporary protected status for Ukrainian refugee in the US. Yeah, And then someone asked him in the Oval office. He's like the what like PPS? He said, you said GPS, and they're like, bro, he has my grasp of all the shit, like just sorry GPS.
Yeah, are you talking about GPS?
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, real bad, real bad stuff there.
I hate it.
Can't even tell me where to go when I say where's toilet when I'm just walking around.
This is definitely a bit of pump facing Trump facing on the This is like everything just like the last time. He's like I got them to agree to a great border deal, where they're just like, yeah, we're just doing the same shit. What are you talking about? Like you
didn't get anything out of us. And now the talks are that the tariffs will be delayed for about a month on a lot of exports to the United States coming out of Canada Mexico because they will exempt traded goods under the rules of the US Mexico Canada Agreement that trade packed the USMCA from his first term, and it's just all it's just a bunch of fucking.
Cho It's my favorite mid major basketball college basketball tournament USMC. He does seem to be like backing down. He's like I'm doing I'm extending this nicety to Mexico because me and shine Bomb are tight. She's cool, she gets me, so I don't know. She continues to be good at her job, so that's cool.
So we'll see.
I have also been enjoying the meming of jd Vance's big cabbage patch ass face.
Uh, that's awesome.
Wind milling on him. These memes are some of them are like fucking me. Like visually, they're hard to kind of digest. The JD Vance's pumpkin face.
He's just such a like easy canvas to like, you know, with the catch fucking with just so many like now a chairlift can't get off a chairlift because as he was fucking the chairlift like this one. Now, I'm like, I can't picture him. I can only picture the big puffy face him. Uh huh, you know that's all I see.
Another one like a minion. Yeah, go with.
The whole old school Kate Gosslin, Can I speak to the manager haircut? It all just works. He should have been an actor. This guy could have been, could have done such a chameleon, you know, he could look like the greatest performer, senator, a vice president, a piece of shit, like, whatever you want, he can do it.
Well, you're welcome, I guess on the internet's muse. Okay, so yeah, you're welcome for all the memes. All right, let's take a quick break and we'll come back and talk about the pipe rock theory aka the curse of conspiracy.
We'll be right back, and we're back.
And we're bad.
The right is a bit into cursive these days, which feels counter to their whole shit, like that seems like the sort of thing I don't even fucking believe in cursive, dog, Like, I know.
Why don't they say? It's like, like, I'm surprised they never went around to like that cursive as woke because they can't do it. It's like, I'm bad at cursive, so that's woke.
Yeah.
No, they are fucking screaming about cursive handwriting constant because recently the Idaho Senate introduced a bill that would require students to quote be proficient at reading and writing in cursive by the end of fifth grade. But it's already talked in schools in Idaho. But it's now declared an emergency so they can assess students cursive next year. What why?
Yeah?
Man, but you already do it.
We got to address this crisis. Wait, it sounds like have you not heard cursive conspiracy?
Piper?
All right, we keep referring to this conorill Malley. You're talking about cursive.
Theory, you're talking about pipe rock theory.
This is a great Connor O'Malley video that you guys just need to go watch.
Go to his instagram. It's it's one of the first posts he has.
They just nail the tone of ninety percent of podcasts or just.
That like pseudo intellectual Broach Bull Show. Yeah, where it's like it's always like, have you heard of this thing?
What?
Yeah, dude, I just checked it out. Anyway, I can't look at pipe obviously, pipe obviously sitting rock.
So this one holds together about as well as well as the fictional pipe rock theory. Their theory is so Obama's common core uh, you know, the like federal rules around public education that still leave like a ton of leeway up.
To the states to determine, like, you know, what their per.
What the Civil War was about, right exactly.
But they did not require cursive at a time when people were starting to communicate almost exclusively through keyboards. Hold on what.
They're not required to learn cursive and soma.
I'm just saying. I'm just saying. That caught my attention.
Uh huh. So now we're thinking about what does Obama want to do? What does he want to do?
Yeah, wants to tear up the Constitutionstitution country.
So it's the Constitution written in.
Fucking English English.
Okay, that's true, bro, But like the style of writing on the old paper, the old cop the old printer paper, they wrote on what kind.
I've never seen it. I've only That's the thing. I just use it to justify my transphobia. It assumes that people only read the Constitution at the Smithsonian, Like the Constitution has been translated from its original cursive into uh, you know, text on the internet, text on you can get it as a book, notably not written in cursive.
And they are still like we got.
We got the shit figured out the whole.
They're just trying to shut down the Constitution by keeping us from reading the original document in the Smithsonian.
That's true because if you can't write cursive, then you can't read cursive constitution incursive. Therefore you do not know about the Constitution, and there's no other way to read it except for going up to the little glass case and reading it through there.
So it does like tie into a part of conservatism where they just like to I don't know, they like rules that they like to be like told they're being like bad or good and like, you know, fuck free thought, Let's just learn how to like make these shapes, you know. So they're like, yeah, this is cool. Let's let's focus.
On cursive again and again.
And the thing that people were it wasn't really being taught. It's like, I, man, have you tried to write cursive? I know we were taught cursive, you know, but you what's what's the last time you actually wrote in cursive?
I tried up Billy Madison. I'm Billy Madison. Man, We're rude.
I am you.
You asked me to. If anybody hasn't seen Billy Madison, he's asked to write uto in cursive and.
His cursive Z is just uh.
Quigly like this. It's so hard to do.
Yeah, they're really a lot of work.
I hate it, right because I could. I couldn't nail an upper case like a capital G incursive and that's like, you know, fundamental to writing my name. And I just hate the way it looked. It looked like a weird I don't asks character or something. Yeah, is this shiit?
No, it's like got curls in all four corners kind of yeah.
No, it's tough. It's tough, so I don't know. It's also weird.
Wait is the no the uppercase b's alright, yeah, that's one's easier. Yeah, but there's there is something you hit Q you fucking talking about?
All right?
WHOA do it? Please?
Please thank you?
Why did they make it? Why did they make the queue so complicated?
Yep, I'm just saying, Actually, it's not that I should look like it too. Never mind, it just looks like it too.
But that's confusing, And what who's the second parties.
Were getting stupid or even trying to even think about how it's fucking connected.
Have you heard of biproctery.
Yeah, I heard a biproctery.
It does seem like the Republicans have been trying to make this one of their cultural war causes for a while. In twenty thirteen, North Carolina Republicans brag that they had reinstated cursive in a list of accomplishments that also included tax cuts, abortion restrictions, and the right to carry a gun into a bar or restaurant.
And cursive fulk.
Yeah, because kids need a little discipline.
Yeah, I mean that there again, there's like just study after study shows there's no fucking difference when you learn how to write in which one doesn't. There's no advantage to either. Uh, and I don't know. I mean, like we writing evolves over time. I mean I remember in an era where there was no cursive.
I think when what was that?
You remember an era? I don't know, No, man, I don't think so. Man, Yeah, I think that's been interested. Yeah, you're right, I guess I should keep it.
My mom has beautiful handwriting. I just want to say, a beautiful cursive ship. Yeah, cursive, all cursive.
It is interesting to see because like you can almost you can see it's funny I can tell like a Japanese person's handwriting in English, because everyone learns to write in English the same way that like I can look at I go, this is a Japanese person writing in English, because like, neither to. It's just the way. It's just the way the shapes of the letters are and things like that. It's not necessarily that it's like beautiful, but it has like a distinct style. But it's also funny.
I think, like, when I think of my grandmother's cursive handwriting, it looks like the fucking Constitution, right, how the fuck are you? I'm like, I can barely write this fast.
Or yeah, my mom's penmanship is beautiful and completely impenetrable.
I don't know what any of it says.
It's not that I'm illiterate, it's that this curse it's all fucking weird.
Yeah, yeah, all right, two quick stories here, okay, close to my I thought of you. I thought of you when I saw this, all right, So on the Yeah. The Academy Museum groupid Trip announced that they have coming for the fiftieth anniversary of a little film called Joels. As my cousin said it, They have the Jaws exhibition Jaws the exhibition.
I mean, it's.
Got everything, it's got everything, it's got the the fin I think was the one thing I see.
Fin up there.
I can't wait to see the news article about local man tries to get his whole ship bit by an electronic Jaws exhibit.
But they do have Jaws hanging in the museum already. Yeah, so, I mean I've already been pretty Uh.
You had your eye on that thing Horny on.
Maine while touring that touring that museum act Jacked.
Why are you looking at that? Let's just go, let's go see the original Rosebud?
Why are you sweating so much?
Nothing? When I saw that sled from Citizen Kane? Is that real?
They have the sled from Citizen?
There's like two Yeah, apparently they made two rose Buds. Is Rosebud the sled?
Yay? Miles fucking spoiler dude.
So I don't give a fuck, And I don't know what the fuck that is. I ain't watching this shit. Yeah, I just know. I just know what I was lying. But I remember it was there, and I just remember, like, all right, another, I mean, I guess it just shows you how different people attach meaning to film like where I know it just sort of as a cultural thing. Never seen it. Not interested it's black and white. Sorry, can't.
Sorry that movie isn't a movie.
That's a historical doc. There's only one black and white movie. I know. It's called eraser Head, Okay, and I will then I'm sticking to that.
But they showed you that before you had seen the color ones, So.
You're like, is this what movies are? I guess all black and movies are like, but yeah, I don't know. This looks like I don't know. Just from the ad for it, it looked like they had so much of the original props and objects that.
They Like the Godfather exhibit that they had was really solid, Like they had that really good footage of like people trying out for the various roles the different.
Sets they rebuilt inside.
Yeah, really cool.
So like this is gonna be fucking level three gush for this bogs.
Yeah, where he's like, I'm about to fucking hide in the Academy Museum Night at the Museum, folks, Me and Jaws. Yeah, September fourteenth. Anyway, that's it. That's just like the most la thing that we could have said right now, Like do the jaws exhibit Jaws EXHIBI jowels. Yeah.
And then also Taco Bell had so they do like a parody of tech conference keynotes where they announce upcoming.
Products so funny.
So they did one.
It's so funny, you guys, get god, why this one? They're like stvery shitting on their old like chicken products while introducing some that like don't seem better than the old chicken product. Like they're like the they made fun of, like the chicken biscuit taco. They're like, why why would we have done this? I'm like, I don't know that shit sounds good. I just like didn't have time to eat it.
The new biscuit chicken taco just crispy chicken in a burrito.
Yeah, I love it.
Well anyways, won't try it because I only eat the same four things. Sorry, Taco Bell, you won't get me. You're sorry, you can't do it.
That's good.
That's gonna be their next move. It's gonna be the equivalent of the like forced obsolescence that Apple does where the food goes bad really quickly, right.
Where you're like, oh I can't eat this, I better get the new thing. Sure, all right.
That is the episode for today, Thursday, March sixth. We are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other and be kind to yourself. Get the vaccines while you still can, get your flu shots while you still can. Don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will connect to you at tomorrow.
Bite peace,