Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Owner of a Trending Heart. Courtesy of Panoramic View on the discord. Uh, Owner of a Lonely Heart is the original way that that one goes. But I did not know what they were saying in that song. Hall, it's one of those. It's it's that one. Anyways. My name is Jack o' brown. I'm throwing to be joined by black wetlin. It's wetual healing.
And that's what I got for you. Oh no, I said it was gross before it even got fully disgusting, the way it was, just the way your voice turned. Can I tell you something sad? No?
No, God, My legs are small.
So so they got small on your ass.
They got really small because I didn't work them out for a few days.
Oh my god, just a few days, so saw buddy.
But I'm gonna get a lot of new hours that make them look bigger and then I'm going to burst through my pants.
You wait, you wait, it's just your it's just your thighs are small. Your thighs look like yes, but your calves look like Popeye's forearms. They do they do, they do.
It's they're doing most of the work right now, I'm walking as if like like a horse on its hind legs basically with that agility.
But you can't see me at that. You can't.
You see leg You see them when they like, yeah, you know, when they even rear back parry. Yeah, yeah, so it's kind of like that. But walking, Yeah, I love horses.
Makes sense. The Philadelphia Eagles fan, we've seen your special relationship to horses as it's convased. Yes, it's very cadidated. It's incredibly complicated. How much like do you have, like international relations It's that complicated. Blake, thank you so much for joining filling in four miles. Well, he is a traveling Should we tell the people some of the stuff that is trending?
I think this is the right time to do that, and I appreciate it if you did it, because I don't want to.
Okay, yeah, that is I don't have in front of me. It's it's like just trying to stretch as as long as possible before we have to talk about the news, and especially today because we have bad news. There's a large bruise on our president's hand and people think it might be Bruce from an IV port and We're just worried about him. You know, mysterious bruising is how we
lost Mitch McConnell. You know, like, first bruise start appearing, then Mitch McConnell powered down in the middle of a sentence for ninety seconds and has to be escorted off stage, and then a mirror two years later he's resigning. So we just don't want to see this sort of thing from our dear leader.
This is different because the bruises for Mitchell were on his brain primarily, and.
They were closer to his brain for sure. It was like his neck and face. Yeah right, well those are the ones visible to the human eye. Yeah, A got it.
And President Trump, I can't imagine it couldn't have been an IV like just harm that man, that strong, beefy strong man. He must have been shot in the hand for something like that.
It's how quickly he heals from the bullet wound in to the ear. Jesus, Yes, man's got elephant skin. To quote and the editor he he claims that he has a bruise on his hand from shaking hands all day every day. Is that true?
Yeah, that's what they're saying. Kind of just say something else, Yeah.
No, fuck it, we'll just go with the like that the point is. And I wish it hadn't taken me eight years to ten years to get that this is the point. The point is to say something that makes us say what does he think we're stupid? Or you know, like that that's an insult to our intelligence. That is the point. It is. His point is to insult your intelligence. And then you talk about it, and then all of his supporters are like, look at the fucking triggered libs.
And then and then in the meantime, he's done seventy five of the most fucked up things you can imagine, and you can't catch up. And then he has a little bruise again, and and then a new bruise appears. He says, sorry, I have elephant titus, and it's like, did he mean elephant's skin?
What is he talking about?
And then he's shut down on the elephant tusks.
Uh, did you get the ones that I sent you in the mail? By the way, kind that's such a kind of gift.
Of course, you were going through a tough time and I sent you both.
Yeah, anyways, we're just you know, thoughts and prayers, go out to the big Man and also to because the Pope is in critical condition. The world waits on the edge of its seat because he had double pneumonia, and people were like, I didn't know that was a thing. He's uh currently in critical condition, and I this is an incredible tie in to the Oscar campaign for Conclave. I don't know if you guys watched Conclave. Did you watch Conclave? Of course?
And I want it well finish your thought. I'm want to come back back.
Just that, like this is an amazing well I thought Conclave was a great time of the movies, but now I'm thinking about it regularly because it's actually happening. You know, it's actually about to happen. And I do think that there are like there have been some good long read articles about like the internal battle for the Catholic Church and like, how you know this is the liberal pope.
You know this guy? Yeah, and like the other pope was, like the previous pope was conservative Nazi pope, Nazi youth pope. I should say, yeah, And like I think there's a lot of people just waiting in the wings, like oh, yeah, we're going to take this ship back to the dark ages, homie, that is a brutal thing I haven't thought about.
But now am and my wife and I did see Conclave, and I think you might be able to relate to this where your partner knew was you so fucking well at this point that even a slightly different diction or manner of speaking, they're like, what the fuck is going on with you? Where I was thinking in my head that exact thing of like there might be another conclave soon is what I wanted to say to her, because
she hadn't heard about the pope yet. But the way it came out where I was like, because in the morning, I just go, the Pope is very sick. He might not make it, and which is not how I would ever talk to her about a pope, like the Pope is quite sick, he might not make it, and she's like, okay, fucking weirdo. But the way I would talk about that is like, oh, there might be another conclave because you know the Pope is going through something right now, is how I talk.
Remember when we saw conclave, well that might be him, yeah, yeah. But I put my hand on her shoulder and I said, the Pope is quite sick. He's novella. Right, he's like a like a eighth grade Spanish language translation, like the pope is very sick. Do you know who the bookstore is? Yes, Bernie Sanders is on a coast to coast tour of town hall events dubbed fighting oligarchy. This appears, you know, this is as other Democrats are busy doing unclear nothing. Yeah, yeah,
so he is. You know, we I think we were like, all right, so now it's time to see who's gonna step up. Can't be Bernie because he's ninety seven and just like you know, burned a lot of good will by being pro Israel and pro Biden. It's gonna be Bernie. Guys, there's nobody else turn out. It's that's that's the only one who's like seeing this and being like this is bad as of right now. Maybe maybe he will show the Democratic Party that there's a lot of energy there.
What he seems to be doing is going to particularly conservative areas and having town halls and where he talks about how oligarchy bad kind of an American kind of against the thing that you guys seem to be so into here in these red areas of the country. And when he does that, thousands of people are turning out, like they're you know, having to turn people away because
there's so many people. And yeah, he just seems to be the only person who's actually being able to like fight through the demoralization and frustration among you know, the people who actually are affiliated with the Democratic Party.
The guy, you know, he puts his money where his mouth is, you know, or unfortunately it manifested with the pro Israel stuff recently. But unfortunately, you know, like eight I did say unfortunately, right, yeah, yeah, okay.
Good, Yeah, I second yet that okay, thank god.
So but then, you know, eighty five percent of the time, ninety percent of the time, you know, the guy, he's the workhorse that no one wants to ride. Yeah, you know, it's like, all right, he's not he's not running for anything. It's not like, oh, you know, if I if I go to Nebraska, some conservative part of Nebraska, I will get a eightieth term in Vermont. You know, like there's he really is just doing it because nobody fucking else.
Nobody else seems to be willing to do it. Yeah.
Yeah, there's no presidential run coming. He's just chugging along.
Yeah, I so you know, Jacobin went to one of these rallies and spoke to some of the attendees who seemed to be and this is going to surprise you, fed up with the Democrats quote pathetic non response to Trump. There it is what what if? What's those people's problem? Yeah? I do think if I had to guess, if I know my if I know my Democratic Party, they are going to respond to this by being like, the challenge
has been set, let's let's go out there and fight. No, they're going to be like Bernie Sanders can go fuck himself. How do we fight this? How do we undermine? Do we fight Bernie Sanders? Yes? How do we fight this movement that he is showing us how to build? Uh? Would be my guess. I don't know. But what the fuck do I know? All Right, here's a fun one, blake. Yeah, yeah, good, go go good. You ever seen this Mile High Club? You ever heard about this? You've seen this? Ah fucking
in the old airplane? Yes, in the old airplane. Yes. Uh So there's apparently a hot air balloon that is allowing you to join the Mile High Club because I guess the airline industry is too scared and so this hot air balloon company will take you up so you can make those.
The don't ask, don't tell policy of American airlines not good enough for thank you permission.
Oh my god. It is such a weird, Like I want an official ticket on an official certificate that said I did this. I this sounds way more unnerving to me than the airplane. It's like they took a problem nobody was having with the idea of, like, you know, joining the Mile High Club. It's just like a dumb thing that I think appeals to Like I guess like teenagers before they've had sex, is what I feel like it is. It's like, oh, that would be sick, and then you have sex and I'm like, no, that would
be very uncomfortable. I prefer a bed. But right this, Yeah, they're like, all right, so everybody wants to join the mile High Club, but it doesn't like swing around enough and it's not freezing cold when you do it. How do we fix that? And also I had never really thought about I've never been in a hot air balloon. Have you ever been? No? No? And I think about
it all that it makes me sad, that so horny. Yeah. Yeah, but Brian the editor was talking about how the idea of being in a hot air balloon and looking up into the hot air balloon and seeing nothing and you're like a mile high would be terrifying. I'd never really thought about that, but that would freak me the fuck out.
The scariest thing to me is that I'd try to fuck the balloon. It's my it's just see this big billowy pillowy.
Yeah. I have to stop talking about it right now. That was That was also my concern with you when I asked if you'd been up in a hot air balloon. It was mostly out of concern for you and the other people on the hot air.
But you said, have you been all up in it hot? And no, God willing, God willing.
Yeah. Also, you'd be in there with a hot air balloon pilot whose job it is to like take you up there and like not look over at you. Which part of it that license? Yeah?
Yeah, I think that would have to be. It's also like six dollars, like it's not that expensive.
Fair.
Yeah, I guess I have it in my pocket. We don't have to do it. We can just go up in the thing.
I just go up and like Jack off while you turn around or is that what?
What?
What? What's what's allowed here? Sorry, my lovely lady couldn't make it. Oh no, I've just been informed the show's canceled ureak. Sorry, we'll figure out how to run back together. We'll be right back and we're back and a lot of asteroid news. This is, I guess, another of stroid Watch. You know, in the traditional bloid watch where we used to look at tabloids in the early days of the podcast. This is, of course stroid Watch, where we cover asteroid news.
We explained that a little bit better for the people so they can actually understand what you're talking about. No, I think you did.
I did. I didn't great, I seceeded the tabloid. Anyways, the scientist went up to an asteroid, got a sample, and flew back. And so, I guess one of the problems that we had with knowing what is up there in outer space is that a lot of the asteroids that reach us had to like enter through our atmosphere, catch on fire, burnt up, it's a met They're messy as fuck by the time they land on the planet. So they had to go out there, land on an asteroid,
take some soil samples come back. This happened last year. They're just now kind of publishing what they found, and they think that this asteroid was a piece of one of the planets that existed in the early formation of the Solar System, where there was just like too many planets. It was like a pool table right after you like break the billiard balls of just just like these fucking
planets were just like crashing into each other. So this is the one that got crashed into and is now just you know, millions of different chunks of rock out there. So they decided to go up see what these early planets looked like, and they found like exactly what they were looking for, which is like a lot of organic compounds and a lot of the ingredients, amino acids, nucleotide bases, basically all the things that are necessary for life on Earth.
And so they're just like, oh, life is probably everywhere, is what we're discovered. My theory is always like we're going to discover life and like maybe advanced civilization, but it just like won't still be alive. It'll be like evidence of like a past one. Because but I think like this indicates that there's just the possibility for life everywhere.
It's just you know, this planet crashed and was like smashed into smithereens scientific term, you know, millions of years ago or however many years ago, so of.
Metric smithereens smashing too exactly. But yeah, so I don't know. I find this really intriguing, like that all the ingredients were there in our Solar system, like on other planets that just like you know, crash crashed out a number of years ago, and I still hold out hope that we'll encounter intelligent life. Yeah, I find this news story intriguing. It is intriguing. I think that's just so what we would deserve as a human race too, is not be able to meet any of these things, you know, any
of the intelligent life. It's like, listen, we found a frozen dead cat on an asteroid and it had a virus, and we're all gonna get that virus. You don't get to pet the cat. The cat is so fucked looking. You don't even get to.
Imagine what the cat look like because it don't get give you. The virus is transmitted visually visual visually. Yeah, so we have it, I have it, You'll get it.
And yeah, it's it's just that's so interesting where I think everybody holds out the hope if they want this, but for ah, we'll see the man. The man will come in their ship or whatever, and it's like, no, I think we might at best see you like a like a clam, you know, a dead clam. I think that that's what it's gonna be, slam that existed a billion years ago on some other planet that has since been destroyed. Would that excite you seeing that? Like, I know that's a silly question, but I.
Mean I think it's similar to what this is, which is like this is kind of a set like probabilistically, like this is like oh life. Definitely there are dead clams on space rocks floating around out there everywhere. Probably this has all the ingredients they just like haven't been put together properly yet on this very specific one that exists in our very specific solar system. Yeah, but I mean more that like we're going to find out that Star Wars is a true story that happened a long
long time ago. Yeah, too far far away. No for the questions, Blake, Okay, all right, hey, speaking of Star Wars, that's a movie and uh so this is this is a movie we've had our eye on from Daniel Kluia, who one of our one of our great actors, has been talking about this movie is producing about Barney the Dinosaur. Weird.
You know, he's like he had won the Academy Award or was he nominated or won for Judas in The Black Messiah, and this was like kind of the thing that came out that he was like, this is what I really want to work on, and specifically this quote he said, Barney taught us I love you, you love me? Won't you say you love me too? That's one of the first songs I remember? And what happens when that
isn't true? I thought that was really heartbreaking. I have no idea why, but it feels like that makes sense. It feels like there's something unexpected that can be poignant but optimistic, especially at this time now, I think that's really really needy. So it's like there's a there's a Barney movie coming about what if Barney didn't actually love you?
What if Barnie like Neaggie. It's just like such a weird combination of idea and like subject matter, and then you know there were reports that Mattel Films was like making it, and that the Barney movie would be inspired by the works of Charlie Kaufman and Spike Jones, focus on millennial angst, that it would be a eighth twenty four type artouse film, and so all very exciting, and then the CEO of Mattel was like, wait a second, No, don't get any ideas. This will not be an odd movie.
Speticularly said, yeah, this.
Isn't gonna be one of those weirdo movies for weirdos. It's what if mister Rogers was a Dallas cowboy fan, Like, I don't know why we have to ruin these nice This is not the right time to ruin a sweet arnee, a sweet thing. We need sweet things. We need more Paddington's is what we need. We need eight more Paddington's during this presidency. It's Paddington a week. Yeah, we need to leave one Paddington, one full feature length Paddington per
week to get through this shit. The Popeye movie that you showed me on this show was traumatizing enough.
I don't think they're doing that with Barney personally. I think I think they're just sad. I think it's gonna be like sad but hopeful and heartbreaking. I mean his statement that it's like in times like these we need that sort of heartbreaking sweetness like that makes me think it's that and not like what if Barney an ar fourteen Barney was the last of his species and fighting versus destroid. Yeah, but so.
But it will be This is a little bit of it's not gonna be an odd movie. It might be odd, but I don't I don't expect it to be depressing necessarily. It is now being reported that ao adeboats from the Bear and you know, comedy, all things comedy, one of the greats Will is going to write and possibly star in the Barney movie. Exciting enough, And it's not just a a twenty four type movie. It's actually being made with a twenty four now, So.
I think that's fun. I think that is a good piece of a little good piece of news, a little more little good news we can all put in our little pipes and smoke them. I agree. I trust for the trust Aoh yeah, me too. I think that would be cool. So just an update on an old story for some old friends, Blake, where can they find you, you son of a bitch.
They can find me at say that about on all social media, you bastard. And then you can also see me doing stand up live in Fort Collins, Colorado, March thirteenth. March fifteenth, This is a big show. It's going to be in Los Angeles at the ice House Comedy Club in Pasadena.
Would love to see you there.
And then April fourth through fifth Sissyphus in Minneapolis, and please grab those tickets while you can in my bio, on social media and wherever you get comedy tickets.
When is it again in March fourteenth in Los Angeles, Pasadena.
March fifteenth, Saturday, March fifteenth, seven pm, The ice House in Pasadena.
The ice House, The ice House, It's amazing. March. That's mark Saturday pm, Ice House, Pasadena. Uh, March, everybody, get out there. Thanks, Just show them the Gang cares and also just go because it's really gonna be very funny. That's gonna do it for us this afternoon. We are back tomorrow with the whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves. Get your vaccines way still can't get your flu shot.
That's particularly bad this year. Don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to you all tomorrow. Bye.