Hello the Internet, and welcome to this special episode of elly Zygeist. This is going to be the OOPS All Overrated, Underrated and Search History series, featuring some of our favorite guests giving some of our favorite opinions from the past few months. We'll be checking in with these sporadically. They're just mostly silly episodes, full of the the treat part of the of the episode, the not about the news part of the episode, and yeah, we hope you enjoy them.
All filler, no killer, I guess you could say. And if you have a favorite overrated underrated from the long history of the show, My memory doesn't work that well. But if you have one from a long time ago, let us know in the discorder and the comments and maybe we can do an all time OOPS All over under Search history. Anyways, without first they're ad here they are OOPS All Overrated, Underrated and Search History. Bye. We
ask our guests every day what they think is overrated underrated? Uh, this is this is our chance to get some stuff off our chest. You know what I'm saying. Let's start. Should we start overrated? Get what's cheesing you off? Man?
Me?
Thing's overrated?
Me?
Man?
Who me fucking millionaires man just getting away with it all the time, specifically this Steve Balmer, Kawhi Leonard.
They had this one.
It's Pablo Tore every fucking week now is like truly they're calling him the Boogeyman. It feels like the Kendrick Drake like beef, but except it's just like upsetting legal documents about how pretty allegedly but pretty clearly.
Feel like that. Like that way, I had that same thought as he was dropping like his fifth episode where he's like, and here's more documentation, because so he found out that Steve Bamer like basically did this thing where he funneled a huge investment into this company that was ended up being a scam nobody allegedly knew was escape at the time, and then that money was then paid to Kawhi Leonard by that same company for doing nothing in order to get around the salary cap because they
had signed Kawhi Leonard to a salary that was He's like, Kawhi Leonard is one of the best players in the NBA, but you have this salary cap that makes it so no team can just come through like the Yankees and just fucking everyone all all the money and so the way he got around that was kind of this like sloppy thing where I mean, I guess it's not sloppy in the sense that we wouldn't have found out about it if this company hadn't been.
And everything becomes public.
Yeah, and then everything becomes public. But he's been going through the documents and just finding incriminating piece of evidence after incriminating piece of evidence. His fellow billionaire Mark Cuban has been defending him, being like, no one would do this. This is just he's you're wrong, he was scammed, he didn't know, and then that way he just happened to invest money in Kawhi Leonard.
Yeah, it feels like Pablo Torre is actually in the beef with Mark Cuban because Mark Cuban says a thing and then Pablo Torre is like, I actually have documentation that because Mark he was like, right, I don't know. It's like if it happened, then he would have to do it this way and maybe like he would probably prop up the company, and Probabatory is like, oh, interesting, here's.
Just that she did exactly that.
He knows the whole case, and that's why it's really interesting.
To him just to drip it out because it makes everyone look more fucking bad. And also the people that defend Steve Balmer look even worse because they're like, well, it probably was done this, or maybe it wasn't. Evidence out that refutes it, and it just again like sports is used like the one thing that people kind of feel is like free from like all the fucking chaos of the world. But in the era of big money,
like that's completely gone. And you know, the insanely wealthy owner trope has been around forever, but like salary caps kept things somewhat under control, especially like in the NBA, Like for us, we've been talking about it for the last few years. The amount like the parody that exists in the NBA is unlike anything I've ever seen.
It's super fun. It makes yeah, it makes it crazy that like the Oklahoma City Thunder, who were like a joke team three years ago, just won the championship.
Yeah, right exactly. And then like when you have people like Balmer just coming in and sloppily skirting the rules like a common CEO, it just like it just it's it's really fucking infuriating, and it has nothing to do with like the team or whatever, Like I I my fucking allegiance to the Lakers. Aside, Like just looking at this,
it's shows. I think that's what it is. I just hate the fact that that entire way of doing business, it's like, well I'm a billionaire and I have my own rules, is just done so blatantly in the in people's faces. And now you have a league with the NBA where Adam Silver is like not not being as unequivocal as I'd like him to be. When he's talking about like put like laying the hammer down on people who circumvent the cap rules, It's like, are you really
going to do it? Because Pablo Torre is really making it difficult now for the NBA to like not do you know, come down seriously on the Clippers. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean it's cool because he's a you know, he's a Politzer Prize winning journalist. He's a podcaster. His podcast is you know, once he gets on his previous thing that he got into is just the Bill Belichick and his twenty two year old girlfriend thing. That was a fun thread. And like when he gets on a thread like this, it's definitely worth listening because like especially with this one. It's a white collar malfeasance at a time when literally nobody else is paying attention to that.
You know, the authorities are asleep at the wheel, and so he's able to like just go in and get the low hanging fruit. But for people who don't know, Steve Bomber is the richest owner in any sport. He's one of the richest people in the world. He co founded Microsoft with Bill Gates, and they had an episode recently just about the parallels between what Microsoft got caught doing and then in the nineties.
This is a.
Yeah, and Steve Bomber was the head of the company at the time that they were caught doing anti competitive stuff blatantly by the US government and like forced to you know, it's like the one anti monopoly thing that has happened that like really the government pushed back on.
That's how blatant they were being. Best detail I learned over the past week is because I think it's easy to lose sight of like how much money was at stake here, So Kiletter do not to do twenty million dollars I think from this company to do nothing twenty eight I think, yeah, okay, twenty Eighth, he's getting paid more by this company to do nothing. Then he's getting
paid by New Balance for being their face. They're the face of New Balance, Yeah, face of their basketball thing like like, which was a huge Like the fact that they New Balance got Kawhi Leonard was wilder that we were like, whoa, Like, that's a huge get for them. That's like an amazing amount of value. The idea that this company would just pay him for doing nothing just yeah, it seems very unrealistic anyways, It's it's just it's just.
Wild to think.
It's like he's the face of a brand for X amount of money, but then he can get more money to literally just do nothing. Because again it's it wasn't it's it's not that he was ever doing anything with this company.
They were just funneling money to him. But yeah, this is not abnormal for Steve Balmer, obviously as the head of Microsoft who previously got caught doing anti competitive things, but also just like billionaires, as we keep talking about on this show, like it is what they do. They rewrite the history. It's very important to America's ethos and the American zeitgeist to believe that these are remarkable people who are doing things with like creative normal brain power. Yeah,
they're amazing brain power. And then you know, so they rewrite these biographies where they like started everything from a garage and all this bullshit, and then you actually look at the reporting and it's just they find loopholes and exploit loopholes is what they do. And they are predatory and will do whatever it takes to make a bunch of money.
Leen or whatever whatever their fucking worldview is. But yeah, it's just Pablo Tory, God bless Yeah, shout out to fucking keep turning the heat up on the league because that would be the next scandal, is if the NBA.
Just kind of THEBA just looks the other way.
Yeah, because again, like you said, Bombers so fucking wealthy. It's like he could buy the league if he wanted to, you know what I mean, Like it's just like he's his that's just looming over everything.
Yeah, what is something you think is underrated?
Underrated? Deer crossing signs?
Oh yeah, the little sign with the little deer doing like a little hot hop.
Yeah, my husband hit a deer on his from work on Sunday.
What did deer say? To him, fuck you bitch.
Car?
Yeah, oh okay, so, uh yeah, it was late at night, no deer crossing signs, even though it definitely needs it for the area we're in, but came out of nowhere? Did damage left the deer's okay, we didn't find the body.
We're not sure.
Exchange information and check in after.
I'm pretty sure that deer didn't have insurance.
And the way he fucking ran out of there, I don't want to God.
I mean, I know this show, you know, trying to be progressive, but that's I feel like all deers, no deer has right every time.
Every time they don't.
And I don't like to paint everyone with the same brush, but they never have insurance.
Ever.
Well, I have to register to kill a deer, so why don't they have to register for exist?
See?
This is this is God. We need someone who takes this shits here.
Need a registry for all deers.
How fucked up? Did the car get? Uh?
Not great? We're having it towed either today or tomorrow.
Oh shit, Like, couldn't you be driven any further?
Yeah, but it was fortunate it was very close to our house, so and my husband's fine. All that but we don't know about the car just yet.
Damn, it was a long time to ask if your husband's fine, the extent that we didn't even do it.
I made a joke about how I punched a deer.
I will say the deer crossing sign, like, if you're going to have a sign representing deer, like they have to be happy with that one. That is like the Michael Jordan's silhouette, like the Jordan silhouette of like it is so mysticletic and majestic. It's like springing forward in a way that like I feel like they have to be like, yeah, that's right.
And I'm pretty sure like they're antler sized. They were very gracious with antler sizes.
Yeah, yeah they were.
See this is why are they getting all the preferential treatment in society. This is what I'm now I'm thinking.
Also, like if you look at the moose crossing like I'm looking at a moose crossing one, it's all like hunched over, it looks drunk, whereas like the deer is like.
Like l elf one is pretty majestic looking and yeah because elk towards here and oh.
Yeah hel yo that ants.
But I wouldn't want to be sucked up by an elk that that would take most cars.
Yeah, my rankings, I still like deer than elk moose, But a moose is like it looks.
Like it definitely evokes moose. It's communicated. I guess it just like tells us what we think of moose. Like it looks like, yeah, I'm seeing some that are a little bit better, but the one I'm first looking at it just looks drunk like it just like watch this asshole are pretty hammered. You can just assume.
They're angry too. But I'd rather have like these instead of like impressionist paintings of animals for crossing, because you have no idea what you're going to get.
Oh yeah, for sure. Too much.
There's there's too much that someone can interpret it differently. It's like, I don't know, could be like a horse, yeah, whimsical horse with some kind of hairdo.
Or a hunchback horse.
Right.
Yeah.
I feel like they should give like the when it's like the walking cross sign, like you can you can walk now. That'd be cool if like they may us look athletic and cool as hell instead of just like you know, like they would you want just the very stiff We don't get the swag. I don't what do you want to I'm not the artist here, I'm just cruising the Pelican brief. Yeah he's no, he's not Pelican brief. He's what's the one, yeah briefcase?
Yeah exactly. Just now there goes a man.
I want the woman like on the truck flaps like the woman that sits like yeah, I want that.
Yeah, and but what's that communicating? Ladies? You can now lay in the crosswalk?
Do you want an insurance payment? Just lay here?
But not near deer because they don't have insurance.
No, no, they'll trample you.
Fuck Bambi and the child the slow children sign. That child looks like he's up to something.
He's like, there's a slow children thing that's not just like a far side thing like children. Yeah, oh sorry, I'm thinking of.
The good yeah slow chill.
I do remember that was that was like slow children? Whoa, that's so mean?
What that means?
Call in one area?
Slow children? But they're strong, Okay, they've got good they've got good leaping ability.
What is it?
Sorry, there's the one for like the girl coded figure for a slow children play, but the head of like the girl, it has like a ponytail, but it looks like just one of those like Japanese kendama things like right here. Oh yeah, anyway, George Washington ribbon.
She's also like being dragged by the boy one yeah, come on, come on, come on, we'll make it.
We'll make it, make it.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, kid.
Slippery ragging her into traffic.
One less ky came out there, children at.
Play dragging each other into traffic. What is something you think is underrated?
Underrated? Okay, this is really dumb. But for years and years and years I have been driving around without a phone holder in my car. Uh huh, and I just got I just got one. And we're not talking about these things enough.
It's amazes, Oh my god. Like literally, I want to say, the last time I had one was probably six ish more than five years ago, maybe even significantly more so.
It really is the type of thing where I'm like, wow, I I literally have the fuck that. The other day driver is like, my phone's right, there's just right there it. Oh my god. So anyway, I think those little piece of plastic are pretty underrated.
Prior to that you were just driving around with it in front of your face, with holding it up in front of your face.
An exact same spot where the holder would be.
Yeah, and I had a couple of phones. I have the Android item all I had like a real Goldberg machine, et Pro dash cam, all of it. Yea, But now I just have the one holder. Yeah.
Yeah, always a boxing glove and a that's connected to a wheel somehow.
Like on a plunger.
Yeah, I'm sure that like skins for it and kicks something.
Usually I'm usually driving down Banana Peel Lane.
And is it a phone holder that connects into the air conditioning vent.
Yes, but it is also one that has enough space so that it it's like I can still feel the air from that vent.
Yeah, that's it. Sounds like you got a good one out.
Yeah, I got you search Reddit you search read it to figure out what's one to get?
No, that one, I just took that one. I just took a stab in the dard because I think what I think what I happened was the phone foul or something. I was like, let me just get one of these fucking things right now.
I think you were doing the search on a broken phone. From the Falling.
Yeah exactly, exactly.
Yeah, phone holder for a car, and then you just hit the unfeeling lucky. But that's not even a thing anymore, don't Yeah, do they even have nothing? Oh no, they do. They do.
Here, I'm gonna do right now, still own holder for car and guess what, assholes at Google. I'm feeling fucking lucky. Oh, it just fucking feeling. It doesn't even give I didn't realize what it does. It just sends you to what sends you to the top results. Oh yeah, that sent me straight to Amazon.
Amazing, amazing.
They should I feel like they should be like, I'm feeling really lucky and like you hit that and you just like get the thing whatever they want to send you. They're just like, yeah, I bought that shit.
I'm gonna put Tame and Paula tickets refresh. I'm feeling lucky.
There you go. Just send me straight to fucking Ticketmaster.
There you go, are good friends at Ticketmaster. What is something from your search history that's revealing about who you are?
Well to keep talking about the Star Wars prequels because I need to just plug this star as.
Much as possible.
But I did search for this. And I'll tell you why I searched for Palpatine's lightsaber color because I have been brainstorming a list of possible like drinks beverages for the venues that we're performing at to like kind of create a special drinks menu for our show. And so I was like, oh, a Palpatini and it should be read because of Palpatine means lightsaber color being red. And then here, let me just pull up the list of
other drinks I've crafted. Uh, you know, listeners and and and Jack and Moore, you're welcome to to riff on this as well. Let's see the qui gon gin and tonic.
I mean unbeataful. That's beautiful, A.
Darth vodka and cranberry or any vodka.
Dark Father.
So that actually worked, does it?
Really?
Okay?
It's vader that that's a like apocryphal thing. People were like, and actually everybody would have known that his name that he was actually looks father if you knew the German translated to dark Father, and then you actually look it up and it like doesn't mean ship, it doesn't translate.
Just like yeah, that just I think that's a joke from like Pitch Perfect where Anna Kendrick is like Vader means father in German, so obviously, but the important thing here also so is that the vodka that should be used should be Anakin sky Walker vodka.
Having some fun.
Now we're having fun. And then of course there's also and then this is where things get a little bad obi one canoe beer.
And I'm sorry, did you say this is where things get brilliant? Perfect?
Sorry?
Sorry I misspoke? And then finally, mace wine do wine?
Do?
Sounds like it's I'm going to get some mountain dew in there? Do I? Is it a mixture of wine and mountain.
Wine plus a Cabernet savignon plus mountain dew? Actually, that sounds kind of good.
I'm in I have seventeen years sober.
I will relapse on that if.
You make it.
Yeah, sorry, but.
Is it relapsing if you just injected directly into my veins? But it doesn't like I don't have to drink it. It just goes right into my veins. That's probably fine, right? Yeah? Yeahs is fun? Those are great? And are do you do you think that you're gonna get cooperation from the venues?
I hope so, I emailed all of them and said like, here's my brilliant menu. Do with it what you will, and if they don't do it, that's their loss. They're they're they're losing out on millions of dollars that they would have generated at our show.
Yeah, I'm told millions part of my ignorance. But I did have to look up Palpatine. I can't believe his name's not.
Jiz He he looks Yeah, all right, he's not doing he's not doing great now.
He seems bad. All the people, all the forced people seem bad, like you would think that all the power. They're like, this is the best feeling. It feels so good, and they're just like dying like the whole time. They just look like absolute shit, which does seem to also be what happens to people who just embrace concern a bit of politics. They look like ship, but they also live forever. They also have force lightning powers. They have fingers lightning that comes out of their fingers.
Yeah, they should call they should call whatever disease bandon. Steve Bannon has the Palpatine.
Yeah he's got some. He's Palpatine in big time.
Yeah, well, your skin melts and you never die.
Mm hmm. Guy's been drinking a couple of Palpatini's about to look at his nose. You know what I'm saying.
Yeah, I know what you're saying.
What is something you think is overrated? Kyle?
Uh?
Those I can cuss? Right?
Oh? Hell yes, those fucking believe ds not that one.
I hate you believe videos so much. I hate them. I hate them. I can't tell when they're satire or not. I don't think they're helpful. Maybe I'm wrong and too closed off and too like, uh pessimistic about it, but ultimately I'm just like, who's the who's It's just to me, it's it's like, uh, musical chairs for a bigot. Who's the fastest bigot? Not even fastest quickest? And then they come in and there every one of them is like, hey,
will you ever change your mind? And that person goes no, and then they're like, all right, we should talk over each other for a minute, right, which is pretty fun.
Have you seen Yaser Lester's thing that he photoshopped him in the surrounded background and he was like one light skinned n word versus a bunch of white conservatives.
But they don't know I got a gun on me.
See, I would.
Watch that, so I really and it's something that I'm not happy to admit I find unhelpful because maybe it is just me closing myself off and it feels like a very sort of like, I don't know, I feel very pessimistic to be like, I find these wildly unhelpful, and I'm sure I'm very open to being incorrect about it, but god, I have never seen a clip of them and thought this helped anyone at all, except everyone could sit at home and be like, uh huh.
Yeah he told him. Both sides are getting like are being like yeah, exactly, Yeah, it's.
Another launch where everyone feels right.
I think like I watched a lot of the like political commentators online, and I think they helped me with talking points. So in terms of like understanding talking points or history, then I'm like, okay, like I didn't know about that or like this other argument or whatever. But I also think that the people involved are like very happy to debate, and I'm like unhappy to debate in that. I think in that I think we shouldn't have to
fucking debate human rights, you know what I mean. So I think that that's the part where I'm like, Okay, this is a bit self indulgent in that, yeah, like maybe it'll help more people like understand like the history of the talking points, like the politics of it all, but also like we're not super changing any minds on there, and it does give these fascists a platform, Like now I know some of the faces of these fascists, and but people are.
Just submitting to being fascist. And I find it to be like you were saying, the what we have normalized. I hate saying stuff like normalized. I hate you know what I mean, you feel crazy using what we have allowed to be the normal debate is so far outside of what is like reasonable or or.
Or anything like Hitler debates.
Right, We're not debating like an allocation of taxes in a community versus near a city or something where you're like, I could you know, we're we're allowing equal footing to such there is an objectively correct and incorrect answer that we're allowing people to talk about like there isn't and it involves people being alive, and then someone's monetizing it, of course, But it's just I am maybe I just want to get booked on one I don't know. I'm tired.
What's overrated? This YouTube show that won't book me.
On the clip of this, and Kyle has been we had to restraint get a restraining order against.
As We're like, wow, we were really unsure of which side Kyle it was on this whole time.
Kyle said, please let me.
I don't do the work. It's one of the It was one of the things I felt a little bit guilty about feeling is overrated, if that makes sense. But I'm just sort of like it makes me I don't think we are. It doesn't feel healthy. It doesn't feel healthy, and it feels like you you make you think something is equal if you are giving it a platform like that.
Yeah, Like it's it feels like it comes from the same place as people being like, what, we don't need moderators on Reddit because like this is free speech and then you just like get shouted down by like thirty fascists and it's it does. I think it helps my visual imagination for like what fascists can look like.
Yeah, I was gonna say, now, okay.
They do have glasses like that.
I'm like, it's your local NB barista.
Yes, it certainly is.
That has been a jarring discovery is a mute not knowing who believe what has been a tough thing to come to right where it used to be, you know, on mute, I know who's got a tiki torch?
Right exactly? They all kind of all those tiki torch guys looked like I would expect people caring tiki torches to look like, and now they look like Hawaian. Yeah exactly. They wouldn't appropriate, right, they look they look like the stars of sitcoms that had like special we go to Hawaii episodes from like the nineteenth fifty, yeah, you know.
Wanted to go on vacation. They're like, we're actually having a nice story arc here.
But yeah, they hipsters can be fascist too frequently they are, according to Jubilee videos. That's that's what I've learned.
I also I also can't tell like I understand what you mean by like not normalizing it or like wanting people to have shame. But also like as a brown person, like I would rather know what people actually believe in their hearts. And I've had interpersonal experiences where I where somebody's fully switched up on me and I'm like, okay, so that's in my neighborhood. That's good. Like I would rather fucking know you know, yeah, sure do you like hate watch them?
I have really really tried to cut out of my life doing that with things. But it's sometimes they really you know, a certain back and like the one that was just the guy going yeah, I'm a fascist, Yeah I'm aist. You can't avoid that. And so I saw, Yes, I saw a lot of clip from his clips from his of the various people, but especially.
Telling him to go leave, like yeah, you.
Just sort of like, I don't know, maybe I just but I mean.
He kind of has a similar view because he was saying like when one of them was like, yeah, I'm a fascist, he's like stopped.
K He's like, I don't have conversations with fascist. He just like.
Appreciated that I have. So I commend the people who can sit there and do that. And I just I think rationing, Oh, ultimately, I feel guilt about the amount of concern you do and what you cut out and what you're aware of and things like that all the time. And then I'm also trying to like take care of myself in a physical and manner and you're just like it's crazy to small picture and big picture yourself through all of this. It's very difficult thing to balance.
Yeah, I did like and this is probably a bad thing that this is what gave me like hope was that the guy who he was like, oh, I don't debate with fascist fascists? Are you a fascist? And he was like, yeah, a fascist and like started like ugly laughing they are. Yeah. He got fired from his job and like I was like, oh, so there's like still some institutions.
Then he started to go fund me where he raised like a fuck ton of money for.
Being a fascist that's true, which is.
Like that isn't That's the thing where I'm like, this is encouraging people to like try to become like influencers and like make politics content. And that's that's the part that I'm like, if you don't fucking know or you're a bad person, just stay out.
Like there is something it seems like that is a new It's like a quick quicker than going on a dating reality show or The Bachelor or something is to go and go viral in a jubilee moment and launch yourself into something that's right.
I do want to like see what the process is for like putting those rooms together. Like where are they going? Like is it what pool are they fishing from?
You know, they're going to these They're going to these cities that uh, fascists and Republicans love to live in that they say they hate, right, they like.
They're also influencers before, Like a lot of them are, like to the other people who said, yeah, a lot of them have either been like worked for Jubilee. Like some of the people are like picked by Jubilee multiple times. Some of them are like podcast hosts or something like some of them are already like they'll take Dane Kyle.
There might be a chance.
Yeah, one guy keeps trying to do movie puns. He keeps saying the wolf of Wally Street in the Jubilee video about order control. I do appreciate all it is just it's such an odd feeling for me, and I don't know what it is about them that feels bad and weird and it feels terrible. Yeah, you do, but there is something to like it's just like jarring. You just never thought you would see people be like, yeah, dude, I'm a fascist. You never think you'd see someone say that.
But then it's like it's so normal now. I guess I don't know.
Yeah, I'm like, honestly, I think the moment of political shock I had was the twenty sixteen election, and like I had an experience just like that SNL moment where like Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle were like, yeah, this is what America is, and all the white people were like what because I was with like my white friends
and we were all freaked out. And then I like later in the night, I was like out of mic where it was like a lot of black people and they were like laughing and they were like, yeah, this is just normal for America.
So since then, I haven't been shocked. Yeah. I haven't been shocked at anything honestly since then.
Yeah, shock is hard to have. Yeah, you just it's weird that I let myself continually have disappointment.
Yeah, I think that's beautiful though, let's get disappointed. Yeah, it proves that there's like some hope inside. Yeah, what is something from your search history that's revealing better who you are?
All right?
This is this is revealing about who I am in multiple ways, which is that I remembered I had a memory of tweeting something about how the xenomorpho is really just a huge wasp that can't stop drooling.
But then yeah, like it drools a lot, Like it's okay in a way that like any other thing that drools that much, you'd be like, that thing is.
Stupid, it's sick, all right.
So here here's the train of thought that I think actually tells everyone literally everything you might conceivably want to know about me, which is I have a memory of this because I I basically was like someone else made a sort of similar joke on some social media and I was like, I already did that, and then I looked for it and I couldn't find it. So that was my search history as Andrew t Zeno morphlass, and.
I couldn't find it. Did I.
Did?
I just think this? And so I don't know. I genuinely don't know. It seems like it's not there. But I also deleted most of my tweets at some point. Maybe it was in the deleted batch of tweets.
I'm gonna say, go get me in trouble.
With.
All of those movies have some very serious characters saying a nearly completely perfect organism.
I have to tell you it's only an okay organist.
Yeah, you can get you can get rid of that second mouth, yeah, second mouth, theol Yeah, yeah.
It's fucking It can't reproduce unless a fucking like a certain number of humanoids look at its eggs.
Yeah, like stare at its eggs with their mouth open.
Plan? Is that for propagating your sleep?
It doesn't if it wanted to bring people in, if that was its strategy, right, Like, think about like a flower that wants to reproduce, so it's brightly colored, it's like it looks fucking so hot to bumblebees. Like bumble bees are like, oh yeah, I want to fuck that thing, or like you know, they or it looks delicious to other things. Well there is one that looks like something that I forget which insect it is, but then to fuck it.
Yeah all right, well that's fine.
But anyways, like this one is on a scary ass planet that you know, like just not does not It's.
Created mist and eerie blue lights, and it looks like a fucking like demon.
Yeah you see that, You're like hell no, yeah, why would you look at that?
Yeah, Like they really need some they need to up their game. In terms of even if.
Yeah, it's just that so many things have to go perfectly for one baby to be born, and that I think is not such.
A good plan perfect evolutionarily speaking.
And also when it runs, it's like not that yeah, like when it so when it pops out of that motherfucker's stomach spoiler alert for people managed to miss that whole.
I saw Senator Cassidy's testimony.
And it runs out. It doesn't run that like, it's like just like it's just like kind of scampers out like in a way that's you know, kind of well. Some of these are answered in.
Alien Earth Jack. Then they hit series on FX it uh, they show more of the zoomorph in between, which is why this came up for me.
Someone was talking about Alien Earth and I was like.
Hold up, I already made this sick ass joke, and I just think I'm suing.
I didn't make this. The sick ass joke is what I'm saying.
It's any perfect, perfectly scary thing. Unfortunately that doesn't make it perfect for reproduction and survivor.
Yeah, it's gorgeous.
Nature's the pinnacle of nature's achievement.
It's like, what the fuck are you.
Talking about, Yeah, because there is also like the conceit is that everybody wants to use it as a weapon, Like it's just yeah, it would be the worst weapon to turn on you so fast. You heard of just a better gun if you really want.
To pretty spooky guns in here, man, Yeah.
It's not even the best gun in the like spaceship area. What did it even look like? Would it be like the car you know in Gouni's data has the vest where like a punching like a thought single pops out of would that be like just have a xenomorph that like pops out of a container, Like how are you going to weaponize that? You open your vest and then as xenomorp pops out of your chest and.
Like yeah, every every time they've tried to depict that on screen as the xenomorph being a quote unquote perfect weapon, all it does is kill some quite a lot of the people in the area.
It doesn't do anything that.
A fucking like cruise missile couldn't do a billion times more.
If you have the technology for interplanetary travel, I'd imagine your weapons might be better than just unleashing it.
Truly, monster, But I'm so sorry, but like, yeah, I'm just like putting a big bug in the in the house cannot be the best way to do this.
It's like the equivalent of like putting some bees under some door and then like walking away giggling yourself.
And then they're like I was on vacation, I came home. There's like three dead bees, and.
The bees killed a bunch of stuff. Right, Why would you do that? Man?
It's such an insane way to kill people.
If everybody stays inside this house, who we want to stay inside this house? We're in business. There's just too.
Many variables, too many variables. I don't like it. You don't want to go back.
And on the house, Yeah, bad idea.
Do you ever want to use that spaceship for your own No? You just want to kill some of the people in it? Real scarily okay, like still.
At the ancient like using an ASP as a weapon? Yeah, version of weapons. Unleash the ASP on Cleopatra.
Oh your city with scorpions?
Like what do you?
I just I listen. I get that it's a monster. I just think the underlying research imperative seems shaky at best.
Yeah, monster can't even close its fucking mouth. Yeah, what is something from your search history that's revealing about who you are?
Wow, that's so kind of you to ask, Jack.
Funny that you bring that up, because my actual last Google search was what is the newest research about octopuses being sentient? And so then I got on a a deep dive on that and I will be publishing a substack later today with your findings some of it.
Yeah, yeah, do you like eating octopus?
And well I was raised on it, my whole life.
Housing octopus right now, everybody.
All over her face.
Still something I've come to.
That's all very sad, confusing sort of reckoning that I have to be honest with myself about because I come from a diving family, so I've eaten it my whole life quite a bit.
And diving not like competitive pool diving, but.
Diving in the ocean, and like catching their diving.
Yeah all that.
No, Actually, Jack, I'm very sorry to correct you, but the correct nomenclature at this time has been changed back to octopuses, not like OCTOPI like when we were taught when we were young.
Well, just correct, both of you. I said catching octopus like catching fish instead of fishes. So you're both wrong, and yeah, I.
Can see where you were going with that.
One fish is a word, No, I mean fishes in terms of the present. Yeah, I got a lot of table it's nine eleven, all right, it's yeah, you're you gotta give me a break.
But you can't blame it all nine eleven.
I can't blame it all on nine eleven. But it certainly didn't help Miles.
Wait, so then are you so now you're a little bit because I feel the same way because everything every time you see a documentary or something about an octopus, like, oh my god, they're fucking there.
They know, they know.
Apparently they're sentient, and they can recognize faces. They're extremely intelligent. They can edit their own social which is the pea cursor to editing their own DNA, and so like, you know, there's all this new research coming out about it, and it's basically to me, I'm like, oh my god, it's like eating a dog, and I just don't feel like it's ethical, even though you know, I eat cows, which I do feel guilty about every day as well, even though I don't foresee stopping.
But you're an athletic specimen. You gotta keep you got to pack in the protest.
I am a carnivore, but I'm deciding I'm making an executive decision. I think to stop eating octopus going forward.
Yeah, octopus is so such is so prevalent in like Japanese food too, that like I was raised eating like takoyaki, which is like first ball thing, or like taco wassa, which is like what like wassa be root with like raw octopus. It's like a really good little side thing. And yeah, every time I like see that, it is just sort of like co fuck.
But I've noticed I'm varying of guilt inside me like the last year or so. And you know, I am very very addicted to TikTok, so I'm really in taking a lot of info at all time. Good good, So I just had to make the decision.
Yeah, yeah, Well, I mean they sound more advanced than like the DNA RNA. Yeah, like that sounds I don't like I've tried that before. It hasn't totally worked out the ability to edit my own DNA and RNA just with sheer tyranny of will. So that's pretty pretty impressive. They don't they don't live long lives. I've long had this theory that octopus, octopi, octopuses, octopuces, octopises would be way more advanced if like they they they would run the globe and be like waging wars and or not,
you know, just being cool. But like they, we would work for octopuses if they just had longer lifespans.
Well, well, there also have been discovering new species and are saying that there are many other octopus species that we haven't even discovered yet, and that they are possibly linked to our own evolutionary us. Maybe I don't know, or extraterrestrial we'll see. At the risk of the listeners thinking I'm a.
Total quack, yeah, they would never, they would never. No, No, you're goaded, You're gods with the sauce, Like.
Yeah, I'm some odd special. I only found out I'm autistic six months ago. But it explains a lot, Like I mean, I like, my whole life really makes sense now, Like I mean, I'm like, I complain now, I have so much stuff to do, and then I spent like all morning like just researching about octopus.
Why I don't know. No, that's the info you needed what I needed, I guess what is something you think is over efficiency.
I think I spent a time, a lot of time studying algorithms, studying how people optimize for things, and I don't think that's where we find meaning. And things like uber eats, like delivering something straight to your doorstep. You don't experience the friction that makes life feel worth living. You don't bump into your friend in the street, you don't interact with your local community. The efficiency of algorithms and how everything is streamlined in society is kind of boring to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, unless you're yeah, unless you hate running into people you went to high school with in public when you're high and you just want to get taco bell just just quietly, there's.
A time employece Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I always found people to be an impediment to the efficiency of commerce, and so yeah, that's why I'm really excited about this new direction that our society has taken. This This actually gets to kind of my first question for you is just you know, the difference between I feel like you did a post on like quant speak and like how the language of efficiency is sort of
bleeding in. Like I one example that I've noticed I don't know if this would be categorized the same in yearbook, but like the phrase replacement level is a thing that I've like from the world of sports analytics, which is just like, yeah, they're like an average player, but it like adds this sort of dark fascist like Thomas the tank engine thing, where like everybody is just replaceable in CHANGEABI. Yeah, yeah,
people as commodities. Like so I do I notice that as a as a newish trend sort of vying with the more broad trends of like language. It seems too historically and even modern like today feel it's like a democratic phenomenon. It's like not top down and it's you know, it comes from like teenagers or like frequently persecuted minority groups, and like it's a way for people without officially sanctioned power to like weird wield their creativity and like power,
which is I think beautiful. And that's what you see with a lot of these linguistic trends that scare people online. But then yeah, I do see also, you know, whether it be the world of like you know, like analytics people are stat people, or just like the corporate world, you know, creating these new phrases I feel like that's sort of an interesting like dark and light side battle that we see in linguistics happening all the time. Do you think about it that way at all?
That's so interesting?
No.
I think there's each community always finds the best way to speak for that community, and it changes as the vibe changes.
Again, I think the vibe is important here.
It's very probably true that since the moneyball era started, the sports language has gotten more about like quantifying things, and you're talking more about things like RBIs than you used to. Probably people care about stats a lot more. I think as communities have shared values, language emerges to reflect those values. So the video you were referencing was about how math nerds and cs people kind of find
streamline optimized ways of communicating. I think that's definitely true, because their goal is to find efficient ways, maybe mathematically, to express things. Same things happening with middle schoolers right. Middle schoolers are just vibing in that they are using language to connect with other middle schoolers, to differentiate their
identity from adults. And that distinction between top down and bottom up is kind of constant that we always impose like a layer, like through dictionaries or through formal rules of what language is supposed to be, but then in reality that doesn't fit onto everybody, and then different communities find their own ways of expressing themselves.
Right, Yeah, I feel like, I mean it's a fit.
Right.
They're trying to find the most efficient way to communicate, but they're also trying to make each other laugh and trying to impress people, you know. And like there's this book about the evolution of birds and the role of beauty and like how birds evolved, and so like, you know, we tend to think of, you know, the way evolution works and as like the survival of the fittest being, like you know, it's just everything is a something that was evolved to like feed or like defeat or dominate
the other side. And it's like, you know, a lot of the stuff that birds have evolved to do is just to be like beautiful in a way that is like attract some other mate, you know. And so I feel like, similarly, in language, you have how to most efficiently communicate your meaning, but also how to do so in a way that is just like fun, you know, and like makes people laugh and makes people impressed by your creativity a little bit.
Yeah, I don't think everything is about efficiency, right. I think it can also be you're joking, you're kind of trying to communicate that your chill or laid back those things aren't efficient. If you're being efficient, that it isn't chill or laid back. And I don't know, like surper communities, like we'll talk differently than the quants, you know, because they have a different goal in mind, they have a different vibe of how they're approaching language.
Yeah, it does feel like teenagers, Like how we experience language being spoken by teenagers today and then how we actually use language tho was spoken by teenagers in years past is like kind of you know, people don't realize how much of our modern dialect is just created by
sort of younger people. Or you know, I've heard people talk about upspeak being a thing that was started by teen girls and criticized and criticized and criticized, and until the people criticizing it, we're also doing it with upspeak. You know, how do you like it is that sort of a constant in your study of like how language evolves, or also like persecuted minority groups like and you.
See you seem to really know what's happening that it often does come out of these minority groups because they have the biggest reason to defy the hierarchical imposition of language, because that's not their version of language. The language that's being imposed is like the super straight, white old man version of language. So minority groups women, they're going to want to eventually talk different than than they do, and
then they're kind of scrutinized by these other people. Except these young people and the marginalized communities are the ones that are actually generating the new language. And sometimes that leaks into the mainstream, and then it gets adopted, and then it gets institutionalized, and then we once again forget like that it came from that group. This is a time honored process that we see over and over again.
But yeah, you seem to really have a good graph of that.
I think we have a tendency to call things brain rot right, and the idea that words are bad for your brain, it's kind of funny. I think brain rod is also a meme aesthetic, and to be fair, the words that are spreading right now fit into that meme aesthetic really well. And the aesthetic is like pointing back to the algorithm and how the algorithm is bad for our brains. And these words are coming from the algorithm.
Riskyvide ohio do bai, chocolate, labubu macha. You know, all of those are memes brought to us by the algorithm. And the words are funny because they're like algorithmic words. But I don't think the words themselves are bad. But you know, we do have this tendency to call language bad, and we've been doing it time and time again. And you go back to the nineteen hundreds and there are articles about people like being upset at words that we now find normal.
Right right, I wonder too, like if it's kind of you know, we we sort of speak the same way, especially as kids, because you're referencing something in pop culture or like sort of in group as like young people, this is like.
A shared experience or value.
And I wonder too, because, like I was trying to think, like, what the fuck was I saying? That would have even been perceived as brain rot quote unquote, like because again this is all generationally cyclical, where the like they go.
What are the kids talking about these days?
And I'm like, I wonder too, because like in the eighties and nineties, there was really a very limited amount of content movies, TV that sort of a lot of people were experiencing at the same time. But with the Internet it becomes so much more specific that suddenly like everyone knows Ace Ventura or everyone knows the budwe or frogs.
So being like.
Or saying like still do that to this day, yeah, same.
Or alrighty, then is again the same way we were just saying some dumb shit because it's from this thing you like, not because you're like that's the way I talk.
You're like, we're saying the thing from the thing we like that Now because there's so many different like sort of inputs for like what that what can affect someone's language or the kind of content that they have an affinity for, that's that Now it's like people are like, well, I don't know fucking skimmity of toilet, So what the fuck is skimmity toilet?
You?
No?
Literally, I think you is a really a good point about like media and the role that media plays and our adoption of slang, and it's always been based on what we're consuming. So when hip hop in the nineties was influencing language, people would say things like fo shizzle and then to when you know movies were influencing culture people, it's you know, was up you know the millennials lange
that doesn't really stick around. Some of it does stick around, you know, words like cool emerge from minority communities and now just like a part of wuage, but vine. I think in twenty fourteen people were saying things like bay fam on fleek way more. Sometimes those are still around, but I think largely they were a fad in the general population. And uh, same thing is happening now with TikTok. Some of the words are going to stick around.
Some of them aren't.
Yeah, I also wonder if they're having to like if we're seeing this moment of exploding you know, slang that is like kind of extra inscrutable because everybody, like the as Miles as you were talking about, like what were the words that we said to like define ourselves away from like previous generations. It was a lot of like swearing, right, like yeah, you know just this day, yeah, terrible, terrible, No. But now the fucking president like swears and like the
vice pread you know, they're constantly swearing. So like I feel like you need new tools that aren't just the standard old tools of like saying bad words, but like you have to like create your own sort of aggressive words that like won't be used by the president, you know what I mean. Yeah, I wonder if that that is pushing the young people to like have to get extra creative and like create new ways of speaking because literally everybody.
Says everything's on the table.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're kind of right that like absurdism is the only option here, and the importance of identity formation because young people are always trying to build a shared identity for themselves that's different from the identity of adults, because they're trying to figure out who they are in the world.
That's normal.
That's why young people are always the ones that are coming up with slang, whereas old people have a crystallized idea of who they are and what language is. But in a world where I think things are overly structured, like through algorithms which force feed us like the content that makes them money, and through like I think society is structuring things a lot more. But at the same time, we have this uncertainty about what's going on, and then
we turn to absurdism in the same way. I think you're right to point out da daism in like the nineteen tens. I think that's a really good analogy. There was a kind of that period of uncertainty going on as well.
Yeah, what is something from your search history that's revealing about who you are?
I just so this is always kind of a mirror that you hold up to yourself when you do this segment. But the last thing I had searched was are there any laws about headlights? Reddit? So I just simply don't know if there's any laws about how bright headlights are allowed to be, is anyone allowed to do anything? Some
of them are so upsettingly bright. And I was just in North Carolina, which is what made me search this, because all the headlights there are at all the truck it's all trucks there, and it seems like people lift their truck to what I like to call toddler blind spot inches high, and so every single truck is like they're like, I just see my truck. It's just high enough to where I could clip the top of a skull if it was learning to walk.
Predator.
Yeah, dodge ram is actually the two verbs kids need around and so I'm like, I'm in a regular human rental car being followed by a truck and I cannot see and I can't and so I didn't search it while driving, but I do think it's it's actually illegal there to not be on your phone. Water are we are there any laws for headlights? And did you find out?
Like? Are there? Because I really had the thought just search this, started searching it clipped A toddler had to stop and pretend throw my phone out the window so that nobody toddler.
Sounds like those parents exploiting their.
Kids a toddler.
I thought that the rule about tail lights was you aren't allowed to have them or not have them if you're black, Like I thought that.
Was the thing, right, that's right tail lights.
Yes, yeah, well that part of the internet's banned in North Carolina. The answers to that, you're actually not allowed to access black part of the internet, the part that could help a minority.
It's like square in China.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. It was no definitive answer and honestly hard to read because I was in a hotel and yet again, headlights outside were so bright.
I can't deal with it, And what are we doing National Lampoon's Christmas vacation.
When you first started this, I was like, oh god, we are old.
Like, yeah, oh, what's the oldest I've ever felt?
Yeah, but it makes sense. I get really upset when restaurants are too dim.
Now.
I'm like, these fucking guys. They think that we can't read the menu in here.
Oh I just ate at a restaurant down street from me. I say, just it was it was a long time ago, a month ago, but the guy pulled it. It was so dim. The guy pulled his phone out to read the menu and then just never turned the flashlight off the rest of his time in the restaurant.
He was trying to help the rest of the restaurant.
It was like he had a little disco ball on his table at any given moment that might blind you or might help you.
Oh, you had dinner with my father. That's it's been nice, I said.
But I have no idea about headlights. I still don't know the answer.
I don't know. Can we leave that up to the States? I wish we wouldn't, because I feel like something bad is going to happen. I know.
I don't like telling people. I'm either pro light or pro choice, But.
Yeah, headlights are gonna only can only be dimmed by the corpse of a child.
You know, you could put a windshield wiper on there to get thin hair off of it after you run a kid over it. Big wheel out of a truck.
I forgot how dark. I forgot how dark your company is?
Like why I forgot?
Every time I see one of these trucks, I'm like, they're going to run over the kid from the Incredibles that was in his driveway. That's what this looks like to me.
I just realized, I know why there aren't like creepy kids on bikes anymore, and they all are like throwbacks to the eighties.
They've all been wiped out.
So why it takes so long for them to make a new season a stranger thing? They let the kids grow out of the blind spot, I know that.
Like people always talk about how yeah, but if it's like super bright, it's kind of like this arms race that's happening with the size of cars, and this is like also a part of that where like the size of cars, the people inside the car are safer, is everyone outside the car that's like less safe because.
Once again we're talking about and square. They were very safe in the tank. Inside the tank, yeah, but historically out of it. I was always worried about the people inside the tank when I saw that bit, but apparently they were fine. It was that guy holding his groceries that but yeah, and then like super bright lights, it's like, well, nobody's gonna run into you, and it's like, well they
can't see, so they might run into other things. And it's like not you though, you know what I mean, Like it just has this like weird prisoner's dilemma, like zero something that's happening.
It's a trolley problem where you invented the track, right.
Yeah, talk problem, except they're like, is there a way I can run over some them, back up, change direction than run over the one guy? All so I could try and save a little bit on taxes in my mind, but.
Yeah, trying to research this, like headlights are too bright, but US experts say they're not bright enough on Reddit the first one, brightness isn't the issue. I'm like, all right, well I've checked out. It's it's actually the direction that you and my brain shuts down, like I can't I don't want to hear that I was not.
And I just got a little, great, little more angry about the Internet.
Yes, that's right, my underrated uh Mad's Michelson's desire to be like held down slash tied up just any any So, as you I've talked about before, my uh probably my favorite thing I wrote back in the Cracked days was this article about actors who kind of like to do the same thing in every movie. Tom Cruise likes to run, Brad Pitt likes to eat, John Cusack likes to get stuck in the rain, and the the ultimate. Tom Hanks
love to pee and he loves in a movie. And I'm just obsessed with the idea of like how that happened. I'm just obsessed with the idea of watching people pee. And the Internet's amazing because you can find so many videos of it, just like how that happens? Is it
a note from the actor? But anyways, somebody on Twitter who goes by v i z l a g F on Twitter posted a super cut of Mad's Michelson like being tied up or tied down, or like held down or tying somebody else down, And it's just there's a lot to go off of.
It's why does he have a boner in all.
These shots too? So the projects are polar The Starvation Hannibal Bitch Better Have My Money music video he's in there being tied up exit Casino Royale, Unit one valhallarizing Doctor Strange, and then something called The Call, which is a furniture ad in which he gets So it's interesting that these are like, there are some weird projects on there. Like, on the one hand, you could be like, man, they're
really scraping to find examples of this. On the other you can read it as like he will take a job that doesn't make any sense for him, like a Rihanna video or a furniture ad if they're just like yeah, but we'll hold your arms down in like kind of a sexual context.
His agent's like, Mad's, I got this news script for you. He's like, you you already know what I'm going to ask.
You know what I'm gonna ask? Why are you even why are we even talking about it right now? But Mad's this could be just say it. What am I going to ask?
Are fine?
Is it bondage? Is it hold me down? Is it bondage? Okay? Then yes, But they don't make sense.
The work too.
I don't know if this is more this one feels more in line with like Tom Hanks, because like the Brad pitt One, the John Cusack, it's just like Tom Cruise are like this is the thing I look cool doing Tom Hanks and like this one, I can't imagine they think it looks cool. It feels like it's coming from in like a deep like psycho sexual urge that they is.
Probably why Tom Hanks isn't canceled is because he's found a way to route any kind of weird sexual desire into like somewhat a creative Outlet's like, look, as long as I'm pissing in a film, like.
I can keep my shit together. Watch it. All those people I walk around this country, I make eye contact with people and I know and that's where my comments comes from. They've watched me piss, Like, yeah.
There it is.
Oh my god, we literally finish each other sandwhich is did you see that clip of Ben Stiller talking because it had been like twenty something years since that MTV Movie Awards where he was protecting Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he was like reminiscing about it, and he was like, I thought i'd be nervous. He's like, but the second I started doing it like he was, he was just all in and he's like and that made it so
much easier. I thought, I don't know what the fuck is how he was going to react, and he's like, he started laughing. Then I started He's like that scene where they just kind of start laughing, like and they made on each other. He just said that just started with him laughing and then Tom Cruise reacting and him just kind of they just kept reacting to each other.
Beautiful moment for all my old ass chooge listeners out there who remember that storied MTV Movie Awards when we used to watch them live.
The premise was that Ben Stiller is his body double, right Yeah, But then like he's like and we're exact, We're basically the same person, and it's clear that he has this like obsessive relationship with him and it's like trying to make things happen quite working both five seven too. So there you go. What is something you think is underrated?
Okay, this is something that when I used to live in the Bay and I had rich ass friends who were and they shout up to the friends.
To me anymore.
They would soon start making phone calls again once they get the metaglasses. Yeah, point to their temple and.
They call CVS, CBS.
Your extra care savings. They like would outsource like all of their chores. And I'm like, I feel like chores are underrated, like cleaning, like get it, like laundry dishes, cleaning, like you don't want to be overwhelmed by it. But if you haven't like changed your child's diaper ever, then like I feel like you're not living in the same plane of existence as me.
Do you know what I mean?
You don't change?
Yeah, daddy Daddy Bear doesn't get his pause dirty with don.
Do.
I don't know what your audience is, but the bears are tuning in, okay, very excited.
That is so funny.
Yeah, I mean like when whenever I hear people like earnestly be like, oh I don't change diapers, I'm like, you're a fuck.
Up person, kind of Like we talked about this with like JD.
Vance, right, didn't we didn't He have something about like not interacting with his kid in like yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I forget if it's one of the many famous Vance quotes where he's like I think he's like he's like my wife like likes to like coddle them.
I just kind of yell at him, and you're like.
Oh, the mama dada bear. You know, I am a me into them and don't really look at them. I don't want to deal with that ship. And then my wife cleans up my like.
I learned it from Succession. That's how I learned. That's the parenting book I read.
Yep.
Yeah, it's like that's a show man, that's a show. It's a it's a it's a parenting tone.
Actually yeah, yeah, And just generally, I do think boredom downtime, Like I listen to podcasts a lot for a fucking living sometimes and but just like carving out time to do boring tasks like clean up without anything, without like anything going on, you know, just like.
The mind mindfulness as as true as a chore wheel.
What's your favorite shore? What's your favorite chore?
I really like doing laundry, Like I like I like the like the folding and putting a way of laundry because it feels like a fresh start.
I also get to look at things that I have and be grateful for.
Them, and like you know what I mean.
I'm like, oh, like this is a cute Yeah, and I also like don't like I don't like things too much. We have to wash my hands a lot because my hands get like dry really quickly, so like dishes. I don't like or like like cleaning the toilet and like washing my hands, you know, like I just don't like.
Weird, like washing your hands after using the toilet.
Listen.
I think that you don't need to use shampoo and you don't need to wash your hands.
Okay, you you odorant can be made out of bark.
Okay, well, when the Democrats take over, you'd be a great pick for Secretary of Defense.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, excuse me.
Germ theory his hands after he pooped because it like made him stronger somehow. I was just reading back to.
Like the next a signal chat with ship hands. Yeah, he's like, hey, get my cell phone, man, bring my phone over here. You're like.
There's He's like, how come the charging ports all clogged up with stuff?
He's like, I don't know. That's why I got the magnetic charger because that hole is all.
Like crust, you know.
The I was reading a thing that like it was a poll of parents talking about allowances and like how kids like like the financial awareness of children and of like these two thousand parents that they had pulled, they were saying, they're like average allowance is around one hundred and twenty bucks a month.
And I was like, damn inflation.
I'm like, how come wages actually haven't gone up in.
With allowances?
Really everything's gone up five bucks a week And if I.
Was lucky, we didn't because my parents were like, this is your home. But also like they didn't ask us to do too many things like they did obviously like the majority of stuff, but they'd ask us to help like a little bit here and there. They wanted us to be kids basically yeah and and so. But they were also like, we're not going to pay.
You like you live here.
It was yeah, like I was.
The thing was like they would pay me to pick up dog poop and like they had like a per bag thing. I was breaking down pieces of ship and bagging it up individually.
My allowance poop trap house like just cutting but.
Naked butt naked bagging it up. The balloon meant something totally.
Different for you.
Trying to put poop into a balloon.
It's fun.
I wouldn't easy.
You just need a thing that opens it up. I do it all the time.
You do it now to your wife.
You get you get a PVC.
Pipe thing that's big enough. Just wrap the end of it right there. Then perfect funnel.
You're gonna get accused of fraud and your parents going to require back pay on this.
I'm sorry, already they required, They've already demanded it, and I have to.
Paul of what's something you think is overrated?
Okay, this is something I'm starting to recently. I think I've done it throughout different points in my life. I think like shopping online, shopping at stores overrated. Shop at your friend who hoards stuff's place because they have a wonderful, unique.
Selection of items.
Curated goods, Yeah, curated goods that they find value in maybe you will too. And then also I feel like they're more likely to relinquish it to someone that they know and love, so you're helping them.
And it's free. It's like the Facebook marketplace of like, you know issues, It's something.
Right, it feels like it works perfectly, like psychologically with the mentality of a hoarder who's like I have to keep that because I never know when someone might need it or I might and you, as a third party come in and go.
Hey, you know I could get a lot of use out of that. Please take it, please?
Yes?
Yeah, yeah, because the growing away, I feel like is the thing, right, Yeah, they want to Yeah.
It's like extreme sustainability.
So what happened? So what did you get in your latest hoarder shopping?
They got a really cool jean jacket Okay new, okay.
New with tags WTS no tags.
But it was new, it was like never used.
And then I got like, I'm getting like a comforter because I like don't have a comforter.
I don't want to like get great ship. I thought you're gonna be like an old Game Day program from now.
You have hoarders do have nice ship.
Sometimes you know, like it's it's you gotta you gotta be friends with the most people they are like, I want to be friends with with a.
Guy with a boat.
Fuck that. Yeah, I don't want a boat that's full of shit.
You want to be friends with someone who has three thousand unopened coke cans from the nineteen nineties.
Yeah, if I need a wire, I can just go, I don't need to. What is the radio shack is on a business type?
Yeah, any any sort of wire I call my friends.
Sounds more organized than the hoarders that I'm familiar with.
Yeah, you need to you need to have like it's a very specific sounds like.
You cultivate, relate, you hord relationships with hoarders.
I don't know what you're talking about. I'm so sorry. I feel like that ultimate really minimalizing.
I take them down, vampire, Yeah, take them down by hoarding them yourself.
Yeah.
People, you know, they are all these like hoarder reality shows. I'm doing the I'm doing the hard work away from camera, okay.
After the production team leaves pulls up.
Yeah, I'm the person.
I'm like the boom mic operator and I'm like, hey, if you don't want to, you.
Need just while you're operating boom, You're like, hey you need that.
What's that thing over there?
Hey that therapist is actually really fucked up. Come talk to me after this because.
And you're like, you're actually just hoarding other people.
You are, You're outsourcing your place to be a secondary unit for revers.
Just a wall of old newspapers.
Stacked up precariously, I might need to read.
I have a good friend who's in the process of moving and he's like a reverse hoarder where he's now I'm having to be like, don't throw that out.
Okay, I was going to say, like minimalism.
Yeah, he's thrown away like a work of art from his grandfather who's like a famous artist.
Okay.
Is he mentally okay though? Because worries I'm actually I was like.
That's this is good. You you'll want this. He's like, well, I I haven't used it in like a couple in the.
Kay smacks of somebody who has a lot of resources.
Exactly what it's going to say.
Oh really yeah, oh no, that's really bad because like the people I know who are like that are truly everything so disposable whatever we want, that's what.
And like this is a sentimental value.
Yeah, so crazy. No, I would check on him.
He believes in not sing Lebowski. Yeah, does he have any nice stuff?
Because yeah, roll by some grandfather art. Hey, what's up with their shoes?
What size you my man?
I'm a twelve you I'll take a wait, I'm wearing these. You don't need them?
What's that it's sentimental. I don't have any sentiments.
Give it to me, weird pot.
I'm dumping all this dust out of this pot.
What is this that was my grand phone?
Whatever?
What is something from your search history that's revealing about who you are?
Something that I can say that just guess my mom listens to. This is my my last google. I was searching Minnesota spiders, all right. We were talking about this before the show a little bit. I actually have been googling spiders because there's a fat spider in my yard. That is if you know when a bug is too so big that you're like, I think, if I kill you, I go to jail. Is that it's that level of spider.
It's really I take like several blows, like a yeah.
It's not a it's not a it's not a fly swatter situation. We're squaring up. We're bad.
I need gloves, I need a pan, a can of paint, yeah yeah, and like a torch. But so this this I my My My position is outdoor spiders are fine. They're they're not bothering me whatever. I need to cut my law.
My lot is looking terrible right now because I am that the spider is the alpha in my yard right now. The spider is the alpha myleer. It's literally one. But I'm not kidding. It's probably it's probably like a it's bit for me from Minnesota. It's bit right, like if I if I kill it, it'll crunch, and I don't like that sort of I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't want to disturb it. It's like it's kind of like a it's a beautiful thing.
You're concerned, like you're gonna be mowing your lawn and then you're gonna lawnmower the funk out of it or something, or you just don't want it, or it's gonna descend on you as your mom.
It's going to touch me. Yeah, I don't want to ye. Yeah, I don't let it burn. I don't care. But like it's it's just big enough that I feel like it might have a margin of intelligence and I would have to push more through it if I'm going to cut my grass. So I've been thinking about, like should I leave it? It's deadly if that's a stupid question in Minnesota, but whatever, So I spiders and I was just trying to see what kind of spider does. I still haven't quite figured out.
When you said you googled Minnesota spi I thought I was hoping it was like a minor league hockey team. That does sound good, the Minnesota Spiders, you know what I mean, because I know University of Richmond. They're Spiders. I always like, whenever I see that jery that basketball Jersey'm like, that's the sickest jersey.
It really fucking spiders on it. Yeah, this is with the Spider as a mascot, which is really odd to me.
Yeah, people people choose demon over spider. That's how much they don't.
Yeah, that is wild anything but a spider, huh huh.
Like multiple colors of demon. There's like blue demon, red devil, like yeah, and then double the worst article clothing. Yeah, a lot of colors. What do we go with? Yeah, yeah, no.
One's done the roaches yet or anything that's that's that's the bottom twos. But probably intimidating, you know what I mean.
They're like alphas. Yeah, they're bullying you out of your own yard.
Imagine imagine losing to the Spiders and then they just like lay eggs in your girl after.
The game or something like that. You know, yeah, exactly. They're like and thousands of them.
Probably you're a father. Now I'm not going to be here to take care of it.
You've got three thousand.
I think that's pregnanti Uh. Yeah, I've got I've got a spider in my front yard that has been it's just like found the best spot. So it's like always outside the same window. Yeah. It's built an elaborate web that like comes down sometimes and then we'll just be back the next day. Is just out here building and then feasting. It is getting like noticeably bigger as it was, like is killing it. It had a great September. I now, do you guys have this?
You're in La right, Yeah?
Do you have those?
We don't have them here yet, but they they're on the East coast and I'm waiting for this when this happens. Do you have those like quote unquote flying spiders like they float on their webs and then they're huge and they just like rain down.
From the sky and just lad No, but I've seen videos of those. Get ready Yeah, yeah, I'm My spider car was really good. So I'm like I'm like, yeah, bring it, man, I fuck with you.
People are worried about AI. They should be worried about.
Raining spiders raining from the sky. One of my favorite like piece of information I learned and the past couple of years was that like the sky, like you look up at the sky and it appears to be blue or gray or whatever, but like it's actually full of bugs. Like the bugs are just like flying, not just like flying bugs, but like bugs that bugs that don't fly just like catch a ride on the wind all the time.
And like there, if you just like cut a square chunk like of the sky above you, there would just be like tens of thousands of bugs just like floating around up there. The bugs, Yeah, they just like decide they don't want to be where they are, and they just like lift up their arms and get taken away on that gust of wind. It's fucking sick.
That's freedom.
Yeah, that's that's what I'm talking about.
They're actively trying to their own lives and then they just have the best ride of their life.
I'm good, now, that's right. I'd like to do that. They're like hands up, and you put your hands up and then just get somewhere else, Batman, get dark knighted.
Out of there.
Oh right, and that is it for this special Indigenous People's Day edition of OOPS all Overrated, Underrated, and we will be back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show.
Bye.
The Daily Zeite Guys is executive produced by Katherine Law, co produced by Bee Wayne.
Co produced by Victor Wright
Co written by j M mcnapp, and edited and engineered by Brian Jefferies.