O Holy Zeit! 12/12: Joe Biden, Hot Ones/George Soros, Enron, Elon Musk, Stanley Cup Recall, Jeremy Allen White

Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Oh Holyzite. That one courtesy of the growth heillo on the disc. My name is Jack. That over there is Miles.

If your gross space Killer is your aka Tony Sharks mm hmmm yeah. If your gross is not Tony Stark, you know there's got to be Tony Sharks Tony Shart.

Yeah, because gross face Killer does feel like a garbage pale kid version of and then Tony Sharks would be good.

Yeah, yeah, okay, good.

Great, And I'm glad we established that and we're we're solving America's problems.

You got to know all of pretty Tony's monikers or you know, are you really an emotionally stunted wu TANGI?

Where where.

Lady? Wow? They're asking where it's CEO lives. That's fine.

I remember I was so fucked up by that title because it was called Sure Sheila Ghost and I was like, what the fuck is?

What the is this guy? Okay?

And then I remember my mom being like, that's French for like looking for the ghost, and I was.

Like, whoa, oh, we're in pursuit of And.

I never asked my mom, so I didn't know that until just now.

Which is funny too, because there's a line in mal Rats two where the rat brand I think you have to watch Malrats he says, that's like a very that's like and in my mind I was like, I.

Don't know what this dude just said. And now yeah, looking for the woman.

And now here we are on the editor, Chimeson says, no, do not.

Sorry, that's me anyways, Miles.

Should we tell the people some of the things that are happening in the zeitgeist?

Yes? Please.

I don't know how much this has made it into the zeitgeist, but definitely with like the people who are like, happy, now you just lost the White House from the best president of all time. Joe Biden has gone on a clemency spree. He carried out the largest act of presidential cannabis charges, marijuana charges.

Let him out.

So no, no, okay, fifteen hundred people, all of Hunter Biden's illegitimate children. No, it's uh. He commuted the sentences for almost one thy five hundred people and parton thirty nine Americans convicted of non violent crimes. But it was not It was like people who had been in jail during the pandemic and then had gotten out and like put home confinement during the pandemic, so the like they didn't so that you know, federal prisons didn't aid in the spread of coronavirus.

Nineteen, many others did, okay.

And then some Republican in Congress were like, we should send these fuckers back to prison. They got a free like that so wild that that's what they're focused on. They're like, you got them find some extra like, squeeze out any extra cruelty that we can find. Look between the couch cushions of America for some for some extra cruelty that we can find, and flip.

Some people fifteen hundred people we can be like, and we.

Sent them back, send them back to prison. So that's basically the entirety of like this massive uh, I mean great clemency commutation totally great. You know, his overall clemency record almost one thousand, seven hundred pardons and commutations, is now not that far off from Obama's, which is one nine hundred and twenty seven. But these both look like Yellowstone Show titles seventeen hundred nineteen twenty seven. But Obama

I saw something where isn't isn't there like trouble in Taylor Sheridan Land or something.

Miles, there's always trouble in Tailor.

I don't. I don't care enough about that.

Man loves to write drama and create it, write it into existence on love it very possably, printing.

Loads of cash will never wait. Oh so basic.

But that pace is pretty bad for Biden if so, Like if you said, nineteen twenty seven is Obama over two terms? You split that down the middle, or you know what I mean, we're talking about like ninety period.

You know, yeah, No, Biden's putting up numbers. Man, he's putting up empty victories fucking everywhere. I mean, I don't know, I won't say empty victories. I do feel like these are like the things that get quoted by people who still subscribe to DNC mailing lists, being like he was the most progressive president. You didn't even realize it. Yeah, he did this because the Republicans set the agenda by threatening to send them back to jail. I'm glad he did it, but yet again, I'm not gonna be like,

Sure, yeah, obviously, I mean, but look, I mean the one bright Spoty appointed sixty two black women to the judicial bench. So damn Trump too. Yeah, Trump did two Trump only two black, So that's takes men. You know how many Obama did twenty six?

Damn boom Biden double bang from way downtown. How many childs do you think it would take for Joe Biden to hit an NBA three?

T Come on, don't ask that shit due He's not gonna it would be.

Even the visual even for me to visualize in my head is upsetting, and it feels like elder abuse from me even trying to visualize him trying to heave a basketball from an NBA three.

Like, yeah, corner three. Probably never. I'm guessing infinite. I'm guessing like if you had him there and just like he got to nap as much as he wanted and then wake up and take as many threes as it took. It's never getting there.

Yeah, I don't want to think about that, Jack, not right now, not right.

So I also wanted to ask you college three and then free throw and then lay up, because like you could get a lay up then I don't think.

You probably do a granny granny free throw.

Yeah, maybe like over the head style. Yeah, like my you know, my six year old, you could. You could have him there all day. He's not going to make a free throw, you know, he just doesn't have it in him. But like Jesus, just.

Like he doesn't, you know, like he does most six your body strength.

The strength. Yeah, and like I feel like Joe Biden probably fairly sim.

Oh man, I love my kid exactly, Brian. I was about to say the exact same ship, Brian that just said, but he ain't got that dog in him, you know what I mean. I hate to say it about my own son.

You don't. Unfortunately, unfortunately, you don't have.

That dog and he got that Bobby Fisher in him though.

That's right, all right, people are about to get real weird. You're about to hear some real weird conspiracy theories about hot ones because they so BuzzFeed just sold first we Feast, which was the studio that they created that makes hot Ones. They sold it to a consortium of buyers, including the show's founder and host, which he loved to see the talent get some ownership steak sh like media Oh okay, and George Soros says investment firm. Uh oh get ready?

What the they see?

People ship for eighty two point five million dollars?

What?

Yeah?

I mean that makes sense. That ship is wildly popular and very popular.

Yeah, you could say a lot, like how much did they sell the the Gym from the Office good News show for? I feel like it was up there or even more than that, And like he wasn't even making that ship anymore. Yeah, he like made ten episodes and then was like, yeah, you can buy the idea of giving people good news for one hundred million dollars, right, Yeah.

I don't know if there it's just as there was a way to described was a bidding war before CBS got it.

CBSS got it. But have they not done ship with that? That's wild, That's.

What I'm saying. Yeah, what what the fuck? Happened? Did they know? What was it?

Like, yeah, we'll have to or some ship. Yeah, we'll put that in the episode that like, well, we'll do an episode on that alongside the Imagine video. Just yeah, right, fun time capsules of a world gone mad. But yeah, I don't know they like people are gonna be like this is a liberal conspiracy. Hot Ones apparently turned down Kamala Harris during the campaign because they didn't want to delve into politics, which I don't know.

So whatever.

I mean, it's not like that was gonna change things anyway.

So you know where that information was revealed? Huh Pod Save America? Ah, maybe pot Save America is gonna be like we're actually taking a turn away from politics.

Also, bro, those dudes, if they had a hot wing, they'd fucking burst into flames.

Oh my god, what the fuck is this?

She's a christ I'm also just how can you just tell me, like, for a second thought, exper how does a right winger begin to talk about how George Soros will change the show where people just eat spicy chicken?

Yeah? Man, oh, you don't think their questions that guy giving leading questions that are encoded if you look at the names of the hot sauces. They have a liberal agenda.

Oh okay, okay.

He's bald. He looks like he's from the future, a liberal future that respects soy boys.

Yeah.

I can just picture Sean Evans like the first season, like or the first episode after the acquisition by Soros, and he's like, all right, so Luigi, tell me kind of like, what's your background with spicy food?

Man? What are you kind of into?

Sure vibe? Homie?

What's your vibe? Bro?

What Luigi's a big McDonald's cut, Right, what's the spiciest thing McDonald's served.

The spicy chicken sandwich? It ain't spicy.

Nobody's fucking no one, no fast food place is actually bringing like some shit. You're like, what the fuck did I just eat?

They have that hot muff stird? Right? Do they still sell that the hot mustard?

Ever got that?

Yeah? Anyways, let's take a quick break. We'll be right back, and we're back. We're back, And probably I should mention that the Luigi fandom, the Luigi energy, is spreading because the Enron ceo just got pied in the faith. Oh

Yeah exactly, he's like, yeah, but he butt he basically as a bit bought the Enron logo and name, or or maybe he didn't even buy it or just using it under using it under parody law, but he named himself the Enron CEO.

And like it's getting a lot of press from like the Houston Chronicle is like revival of Enron draws like further notice as I know, new ceo revealed, and it's like it's the guy who did birds Aren't Real.

It's funny because some outlets are like and it's the same person behind the birds Aren't Real Twitter conspiracy? But then aren't I had to find like a local Houston news station that was like, no, we looked at the terms that they're saying, they're doing this under like it's a parody.

Like other ones are like articles like what Enron's back, and they're like funny.

No, it's a fucking like the news is irrevocably broken.

Yeah yeah, yeah, anyway, well what can you do?

Wild ship? Though, if you don't know the history of Enron, highly recommend because it's like a story of a company that just like was able to make up a bunch of money. Like literally they were like, okay, so if we like set our numbers at this level, we can say we have like billions more dollars, just like making up their own numbers to uh. It was like almost like they were fucking with the time space continuum like

Oh my god, bro. I'm not gonna say anything.

But dude, the way he like you doubled down on Trump and then he like gotten rich off it and yeah, like he has just like unending power, Like that's so fucking baller dog, and that's what I want to It was like growth mindset and this is kind of fundt.

I was fucking born in the eighties, bro, so I didn't have like the fucking vision to strive for that kind of thing. I was like, at best, I just wanted to have Jordan's you know what I mean, And I could have been the fucking richest guy in the world.

Fuck man, Well that's why we fucking suck, Miles, That's what I'm saying. We fucking suck, and we should just be like kneeling down and paying tribute to fucking Elon.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, well done.

It's I think there was something I read about how it's just like insane wealth growth just from since the election put him over just now, and you're like, Jesus, I mean we talked about how much he made like right after the election, and.

The line is only gonna suck. Yeah that's our god, the line.

So he had two hundred billion, Well on election day he now have four hundred billion.

Oh thank god, I know.

Two hundred billion made me fucking throw up when I heard that.

Oh my dude, I'm just I'm just glad the right people are fucking winning man, especially.

I know today, Thank you. Do you think I do feel like he's probably traveling in a bubble made of kevlar at this point with all the I'm trying to figure out too, the mainstream media accounts of like what's going on here, Like, I feel like that's definitely not like the CEOs were already panicking and talking about like buying a private island that had a poor person vaporizer like ten years ago, like before I was doing any of this shit. So he's probably just traveling in a bubble.

Or if he's just kind of like I'm so cooled, only people only want to high five me.

Yeah, I'm actually tight.

He walks around though, too, like his echo chamber got him like fucking gassed up, like in a completely different reality. So I can also see like the hubris of being like I don't I mean, I feel like any there's no billionaire who doesn't walk around with a bunch of goons anyway, But that's right, Yeah, I don't know, dude, Sick for Elon, uh, sick for the world.

Exactly, sick for our sick World, and then big news in the world of big dumb cups, we got to Stanley recall.

Unfortunately, holy shit, Stanley's recalling two point six million of its mugs because if there's a defect where the lids are just.

Falling right off, just comes right offdow flies out the window, okay, like a steering wheel, and it's just burning a lot of people.

It's specifically the switchback and trigger action twevel travel mugs. So if you got that big bohema thing that was popping, I think you're okay. But these other ones apparently, uh they said they have received ninety one reports across the globe, with sixteen coming from the US that these lids are.

Just flying off during use inexplicably.

Damn. They should have focus group tested that one more time to see if anybody want suggested lip that don't fly off them fly out the window all right? And then oh my god, oh it is the one show that I will accept just a complete reference to as comedy. I'm like, yep, no, that you should leave. That is still comedy.

I used the rules are most used ones are Hot Dog Suit Guy, Car Crash.

Sleep Back America is most used one. Yes, Oh my god, yeah, I admit it, give you that. I like the one a lot. Wow. We just did those like in with one another.

Those are the most used without thinking.

And then then there's nuance you do some dan flashes you do some are these fuckers popping out of the wall.

I don't want to be around anymore as an underrated one. I got too much on yeah, yeah, which is just like the only thought I had the one time I went skiing. Uh, is like, damn, I got way too much ship on me around a helmet, Yeah, goggles, helmet and all the ship on me. Man. Second you go inside, you're just like, ah, what the fuck? Anyway? Uh, good news for fans of the Bear.

Yeah.

So when I saw this news, I thought it was a parody. Headline, Yeah, this is true.

What's the headline?

So Jeremy Allen White will reportedly be in the next Star Wars movie.

As Okay, well like a hot Jedi.

Jab of the Hut Sun. He's gonna be playing. Uh. It's gonna go from Carmie in the Bear to Bruce Springsteen, which I didn't even realize it. Apparently he's in a Springsteen biopic right now. To a character that looks like an off brand mad Ball. You just yeah, look like dude mad Ball. But like also I can see it kind of you know what I mean.

Yeah, this wrote to the Hut character does have is giving Karmi vibes. I seem to see it like in Calvin Klein underwear smoking a cigarette, and then I can kind of.

Real Karmi's hand, arms and legs came directly out of his head. You know.

I wish though, like you know, because obviously, like he's not gonna physically be Job.

Of the Hut son, but I would just love.

If somehow they're like Job of the Ja. We can't waste Jeremy Allen White being in this shit and just reduce him to a voice, like put him in the fucking Hut makeup, the makeup. I didn't even know they were making a Mandalorian.

And Grogu movie. I didn't either. They've really eat it. This thing has really gone off the rails. And I only, like, I know it for kids, but I'm gonna have to watch them too because my son is obsessed.

It's a it's a live action thing, is it not?

Yeah, But like all these Star Wars that like I don't know. I I don't get like too upset about you know, oh, the new Marvel reboot or you know, because it's just like I don't know, man, it's for like the fans of that and like, you know, kids, and like same with Star Wars. Like the stuff that we remember is like my my son's favorite Star Wars thing is the shitty animated Clone Wars movie in which wrote to the Hut appears, also known as Stinky by the way, but it's.

People are liking that news show those Skeleton Crew.

Yeah, I'm hearing good things about Skeleton Crew. We do need to This is what's funny.

I just saw an art.

I'm just reading an article right now that, according to Disney's analytics, people.

Want more Star War and they want less Marvel.

They're like, we're in the mary all we wanted, Like, but I'm saying their own they're saying that this is all going off their research. I think it must be. Or they're like, damn, people are eating up to Star Wars. They are not fucking with MCU anymore. Okay, okay, okay, announce the new film now. Yes, people will tell you.

I want Coke to be sweeter, Make it sweeter, Give me a little, Give me a little thimble of coke and PEPSI Oh, I like the one that's so sweet when I take a little sip of it. That's how we got to new coke people. You can't just ask people what they want. They don't know, Like, they can't tell you what they want overall in a broad sense across time. You know, they can only tell you what they want in a specific like in that moment, and

A pig farm and you're like, the pigs really like the rotten eggs more than they do the old rotten celery.

Huh. Yes. As a binary, that means we're on the right track.

That's right, we're winning.

Uh yeah, I'm oh god.

I love Star Wars, loved it as a kid, and it's doing the same thing to me that the MCU is doing where I'm like, bro, is this is too much. I'm not going to keep up with all this to the point where I will just retreat until again I hit the tipping point of like five people whose opinions.

I respect, like you should.

You should watch Skeleton Crew is on the list for sure. It sounds like somebody described it to me, is like, yeah, it's like the characters are kids, and it's like Goonies meets It's like, what if Goonies took place in the Star Wars universe? And that that got me? Fine, that made Andy you goonie you.

Guys, that was the thing I think everyone screamed.

No, I have a Goonies soundboard in my brain at all times. Okay, yeah, I mean we got hey, you guys, we got Chester copper Pot, you guys, Chester copper Pot, which leads to the down here, down here, it's our time. Wow. Yeah. Wow, Mommy, when Brandt or not Brant the rich guy gets blown off the toilet.

Yeah, wow.

Shout out Mama for Telly, Mama for Telly. Yeah. Anyways, I can still hear Chunk making the vomiting sounds, you know, the Jesus.

Okay, glimpse into Jack's mind.

All right, those are some of the things that are trending on this Thursday afternoon. We are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other. Be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine and get your blue shots. Don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to y'all tomorrow.

Bye bye

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