Okay, now, Andrew, what is a dirty soda?
All right?
Dirty soda pilled?
I thought it was soda with drugs. It's it's more Mormon than that.
I am the dirty Sprite, So dirty sprite specifically is is from Houston. Dirty soda, dirty dirty die of pepper is from Salt Lake City.
That's that's more where this vibe is from.
But I just I just sent in the chat a link to a product from the official I assume Goodness stands for Nestley, but it looks like an official website selling a product that is labeled dirty Soda by Coffee Mate, and it is coconut cream, sugar, fake flavors obviously, and lime, so I think that's in my mind.
And it says mixed with doctor pepper, so it's like a fucked up Italian soda.
Yeah, it's an egg cream. I think this is all for people, and people who want any of the Mormon reality shows, I think are much more intimately familiar with this.
I mean that makes sense because they don't get high, so they need.
Something they do get extremely high, Brian.
Off, they do this, Yeah, I mean they need they need a sugar the crash.
I just didn't realize how much of it was cream, sugar and cream and lime.
The cream and lime and soda.
This is doesn't citrus cream kurdle.
Well, but that's why this is like coffee.
Mate, Oh so it's not like yeah, okay.
I assume like I mean, and there are ways to temper the acid, I'm sure, but one of the better ways to do it is to just have no milk protein in there in.
The first place.
Yeah, because like coffee, maate, water, sugar, soybean oil, and then less than two percent of fucking well.
Yeah, yeah, that's not gonna hurt.
That's gross, is it? That's my question. I think it might not be.
I think it might be delicious.
Where are you on an egg cream?
I don't like egg creams because they're not sweeten them. Like, well, have I got a answered exactly? This answers my problem. This fixes my problem with egg creams. Egg creams are just chocolate milk with selter, right, it.
Doesn't have to be I don't even know if it's there's no egg, but yeah, it's like a milk product, an Italian syrup and selter. Essentially, this is an egg cream, but you replace the selter water with straight up doctor Pepper.
Yes, that's right. Egg cream feels like a product that was only good to children who had not had chocolate milk before and they like the It feels like it was like a way to introduce children to chocolate milk without them like it.
It feels like it had to be like a close to depression era, right, I mean it's it's just a way to stretch a difficult to find product, like or chocolate. I mean, chocolate was deer into the past World War two, so like, yeah, it's just like what if we replace eighty percent of this chocolate milk was soda water.
Yeah, it feels like it was of the era where like those little dots on paper were like the best candy going.
You know, Hello the Internet and welcome to this episode of No Sparra.
Trends. Courtesy of Vanadium Silver on the discord. Have we done that one yet? Anyway? Uh? Trends? I mean it's it's surprising to me that we haven't, but that one. Courtesy of Vanadium Silver, who also contributed never Skipped Trends Day for Never Skip leg Day. My advice to count or lock in no Saratu because his legs were looking thin. They were looking like a couple of flats, you know, before flat.
Of the pieces.
I can't believe how much we've talked about for rock To in the last two weeks.
I can't stop.
I can't stop. I I liked that detail on him. How I like it too.
I just think he would have been too overpoweringly sexy to like if he was thick. He was project.
I have a question, was the thin leg thing because of what happens in the end, Because remember there's a shot where he like he stands up early in the movie and you see his dick.
Did he have skinny legs in that scene too?
I don't remember, but it's just like the skinny leg Yeah, Well he gets all shriveled.
Up in the painting, right or in the picture they find We're really gonna talk now rock too, Okay. I I will just say I was so blown away by the fucking mustache. It's wild how much the mustache overshadowed the dick.
Okay, can you explained the mustache thing?
Because people keep talking about it and I don't under it's he's like an old like Romanian dude.
Of course he would have like a goofy must.
Never shown him with one. He's always been.
But the character he's based on, the character that that character's based on had a had a mustache, just like the.
Character he's directly based on is hairless completely because it's not Sparatu.
No Sparatu is based on Dracula, which is based on Vlad the Impaler who did.
Know mustage, sure, but No Sparato twenty twenty four is based on nos Faratu I want to say nineteen twenty six or so, and that guy had no mustache.
So the one.
Degree he just looked like he looked like he who shall not be named me with a note.
Yeah, the mustache is fucking doctor Robotnik.
Who it's giving And I wish they had said that in the movie, been like, you're giving Robotanic right now. I know you're supposed keep going for a vampire thing, but you're really giving me a Robotnick.
It's just it's breathtaking. Literally, I'm just like, ah, it's crazy.
But that is what like my favorite detail, my favorite moment in the movie is when he enters that town and they just all like put on a little show for him, like like making unblinking eye contact with him, like because it just really feels like you're in this like world and like this could be a moment in history that's like totally lost to us.
I call that scene the laughing at the cook scene.
Yeah, this couck. That also happens me any time I enter a town.
Yeah, they just laugh. Everyone knows.
This guy. This guy's into being fund I don't know.
I did.
I did also see Baby Girl in the last week, and what I heard is good.
It's pretty good. I think.
I I.
I have some.
And this is quoted on the poster. I have some.
Here's what I will say about both Baby Girl and No Spatu. I kind of hadn't really thought about this that much, but like they're both really good examples to me of horny but not sexy movies. Yeah, in a way that it's we're a real renaissance for like super horny but not like sexy really in a I guess.
Good way nasty, but which it kind of reflects our real life honestly, because there's a lot of horny and almost very little sexy.
Yeah.
Not to overly pitch and tell other people in Hollywood how to do their jobs. I do think every character and baby Girl could have used just a little bit of the substance.
Just oh really, it would have.
It would have solved a lot of their problems. Slash exacerbated a lot of their problems.
The broader twenty twenty four Oscar verse like, yeah, all the movies in the Yeah, yeah, you know those like Billy Crystal, Oscar Opener like song, pretty things that he would do if the if they just like turned those for this year's Oscar movies into a into a shared cinematic universe, that would be as you.
Say it, there's I would bet money they do a sketch and feel free If you haven't thought of this, Oscar writers to steal this by giving count or Lock the substance.
The substance, Yeah.
I think that would be a good good yeah, just like that's whatever.
So a sexy guy with a huge mustache and a raddy cave walking out is a good sketch.
I feel, why are we talking about nos Faratu at this time, because there's not a whole lot going on. We're in the middle of a we all. You know, the wildfires in Los Angeles are still raging, and it is supposed to get windy in the next twenty four to forty eight.
Hours reporting in like the tiny window of maximum ignorance about how tomorrow is gonna.
Exactly now is going to be.
But in the meantime, we can talk about the fact that half of the jack Smith report dropped last night, baby, and it's a hundinger Jack Smith who was spent. You know, it's like the Robert Mueller for a time when we no longer believed in Robert Mueller's Yeah, you know, came through with his report, dropped it on the desk, but before it had even thudded onto the desk, he had resigned because he's like, I'm gonna get fired anyways.
Yeah.
In the report, he makes it clear that he believes that a trial would have resulted in a conviction had voters not returned Donald Trump to the White House, claiming that Trump engaged in an quote unprecedented criminal effort to unlawfully retain power.
Yeah, yeah, not to listen. Obviously, Trump bad. The fact that the Democrats, I'm just gonna go out on a limb, are about to proceed with their farce of governance, their farcical side of governance for the next four years, as if these words were not there is, like.
Don't just fucking grove they're adults.
How dare you every time he does something, fuck you you're a criminal. Like that's what they would have done and did do with even less direct of Obama.
Yeah, like on why are you playing along with this fucking racist Fox? Like yeah, like we can't do anything about the Republicans and just this shit in general.
I do wish a little bit that, you know, a party that I at.
Least vote for, yah, would pretend to be less like just fucking do something.
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, Andrew, I'm gonna tell people to lower the temperature in the room a little bit. And yes, I was talking about because I just put on a third sweater because I'm ninety three years old. But also I will to do that because because it's getting a little too hot everybody criticizing the president, it's getting a little too hot for me. Yeah, that
was my impression on Joe Biden. Anyways. It is a one hundred and thirty seven page volume entitled Report on Efforts to Interfere with the Lawful Transfer of Power following the twenty twenty presidential election or the certification of the Electoral College vote held on January sixth, twenty twenty one. Wow, straight up titling that shit like it is the eighteenth century. Like I had to, I had to go find my
favorite example of this. So the book that we all know is Robinson Crusoe, which I don't know came out in the seventeen or eighteen hundred, was actually titled The Life and Strange Surprising Adventure of Robinson Crusoe of York Mariner, who lived eight and twenty years all alone in an uninhabited island on the coast of America, near the mouth of the Great River of Arunuk, having been cast on shore by shipwreck, wherein all the men perished but himself,
with an account how he was at last as strangely delivered by pirates. So many words they don't even spell most of them correctly.
That is also just like like in our current part, the reason we don't title shit like this anymore is because that is an entire book for gen z.
Yeah, that's way too much reading. That's right, that's two TikTok's worth of text.
Bro. That is wild that they titled the report such and fourth that is report on efforts to interfere anyways, he's an old fashioned guy, Jack Smith. Most of the evidence in the report is stuff we already knew about. He did explain why he didn't charge Trump with insurrection. It's because while he used violent rhetoric, it could be argued that he didn't intend the full scope of the January sixth violence, but he certainly let it go on without telling anybody to stop it or knock it off
for a long time. And they also couldn't find a precedent in which a criminal defendant was charged with insurrection for acting within the government to maintain power as opposed to overthrowing it or thwarting it from the outside, which we don't have precedent, and that's what our legal system is based on. So if the president like murders somebody, we're kind of out of luck here.
It's also like, hey, when you couldn't find precedent, well now you've set one and the precedent is you don't do shit.
Great job, well done, sir. The second half of the report pertains to the classified documents case, which is the one that's being held up by the other defendants. Honestly, who gets a shit but based on this this one where you have the goods, I don't know, it's good to have on record, I guess for Yeah, once all this is over and we're picking through the rubble of the country.
Yeah, I mean, like again, if if the people that we elect who should be doing the most of like this is your AMMO Democrats and I'm watching you not use it. The fact that you're not using it means we've already lost. That, I guess is sort of was sort of my feeling on this last election was like we lost before it started. So I don't like not we as in not Trump, but we like any people who want anything good to happen.
Yeah, it was bad and depressing situation that election. Let's take a quick break and we'll come back. And we're back, and we can add Neil Gamon to the list of sex crim creeps. Uh, not gonna go into it too much more. But the famous author there's a long New York magazine article that is pretty upsetting. Uh yeah, turns out he's a real gross sex chrim. Let's see what do we got? We got cees. Uh, it just ended.
I wanted to point out so Brian the editor and I were talking about how bad ces seems to be and how kind of flat it is, and he pointed out this anecdote from the World's Fair. Do we do this on on Mike Brian?
Now this is after after the show.
Yeah, so you're where all the best content happens.
Always We're like, ah, now we can relax and be entertaining to one another. But you were talking about this inventor last name Otis who you'll still see his name when you walk onto an elevator in New York City at least. So this was at a time when New York City was made up of at most five story tall buildings because nobody wanted to walk any more than that.
Yeah, back in the day, penthouses were undesirable. You didn't want to live in.
Yeah, pent up up there in the penthouse, all pent up. And so this guy invented something that was elevator breaks, where if the wire on the elevator snapped you, you
would still be safe. And then he went to the World's Fair and he stood on an elevator and had somebody cut the fucking elevator stray, and then his breaks invention like stopped the elevator and you know, a year later, Otis elevators were being installed in buildings, and you know, a century later, New York City looks completely different and there's tall buildings all over the place. So it's just the sort of thing that would be great if there was that sort of pluck and inspiration.
Tech leaders to put any of their money where their mouth is.
Fucking Elon Musk go to Mars.
Oh my god, it would be so great if he started launching himself in those rockets. Yeah, like what what needs to happen to do that? But anyways, the closest we have to that like a world of you know, bringing inventions forth is cees. I don't know, is it the closest we have. It's the most famous, Like it.
Is the only analog to something like the World's Fair that we have.
Yeah, I can't think of anything else.
I'm gonna throw this out there, motherfucking shark.
Tank, that's right.
Yeah, Actually that's a lot closer to the spirit of the World's Fair of people.
Actually, but why does it suck? Like why do why is the best thing that's ever like come out of shark Tank? Is it is like scrub Daddy, you know, Like.
What I think it's because invention.
Well, I mean, the the boring answer is because so much of invention has been capitalized as opposed to like the Internet wouldn't have existed without significant academic, non directed, non commercially directed research.
Let's just do this thing.
We don't have a platform of let's just do this thing, or let's just learn anymore, because it's increasingly like needs to pay off, and that's has to become shark tank and ces.
Also, to bring it back to Nasfaratu, when you think about the Doctor Left film. When you think about the doctor in that film and his methods, he realized that the bar for being like a brainy, you know, the equivalent of a tech billionaire was much lower.
Back then.
All you had to do was like expose yourself to radiation or invent something that was obvious, like people not dying in elevators, to you know, become rich and famous. Yeah, a lot of the inventions back in the day were accidents, like X rays were discovered on accident.
Well that's what I'm saying, there's like no money for undirected research though, I'm just.
Saying, like you don't, I don't get it.
Threads.
Yeah, to do to.
Discover something by accident, because you need to. You have shareholders who demand results immediately.
Right like we shareholders microwave pop the bag of popcorn kernels I happened to have in my pocket for for some reason, But we can't put that in the PowerPoint slides because are I'll get fired because our border a bunch of fucking asshole capitalists.
A glibber version is that like Silicon Valley has always been, but now it's just very clear, simply a regulation skirting machine. Like all the innovations have been like shit you could have done, but the reason it was monstrously profitable was that you could figure out a way to get around.
Like be it.
Unions, like or like taking taking public resources and using them, or undercutting the fact that most like a taxi company needed to maintain a fleet before, like offloading risk responsibility has been like Silicon Valley's biggest innovation. I know, I feel like producer Brian's eyebrows went up and I was like, Silicon Valley the dou shit, which is fair.
What I'm trying to figure out is because that is true.
What I'm trying to figure out is, what's your fucking problem man the show, just because what Andrew.
Is saying is true, but only after a certain point.
I feel like, and I'm trying to figure out when it was because they used to make things like hmm, and then it when did at some point.
But I think these earlier than you think, Like, like I think, to me, the clearest example is like liften uber. Right, you could have just made an app that was for cabbes that would have done the same thing, but instead the business innovation of lifting uber was not the app. The business innovation was how can we put the depreciation of our fleet onto independent contractors?
Yeah, because they could have.
They could have revolutionized the taxi industry, but they didn't.
They Yes, yeah, uh that's billion dollar thinking. You know what's actually cool? Bryan fucking zillion.
Like twenty eight dollars I think.
No, I totally agree with Andrew. I'm just like I'm trying to figure out, like did that come like post two thousand, pre two thousand, because I feel like through the nineties, like most of the nineties blame it all on nine to eleven, there was actual innovation, like with different technologies, and then once I feel like, once apps started being a thing, that.
Yeah, but I I mean the thing that I I so. The reason I think it was before the nineties is because I lived in New York in the nineties and it doesn't exist anymore.
It was one of those like essentially like trying.
To undercut bodega companies, but it was like a proto delivery service.
Someone was that what it was Cosmo Maybemo. Yeah, Cosmo, I remember that.
Yeah, but someone pointed out to me that, like so, cause I was fucking like cycled everywhere person at the time, and one of the biggest things that was super annoying was that there was always Cosmo trucks parked in the bike lane, and what they would do was to drive to like locations and use that essentially as their distribution point, like the truck would serve as like a mobile mini warehouse.
And then someone pointed out they.
Use a lot, they have to rent a lot fewer warehouses because what their warehouse is is a public utility the bike lane that they are stealing right.
Double parking there.
And I was like, because I was like, yeah, fucking any of the existing stores could have done this delivery thing. These guys just decided that they would do it virtually, which fine, but their actual edge was the fact that they were paying for less warehouses. Yeah, and I was like, oh right, all of these morons are not morons.
They're very smart at what they do. But what they do is stealing from the public.
Yes, yeah, that's what they do. So when it comes to so that's where the just like.
Count or lock from the pass in Transylvania.
I mean, there's a lot to be said about the deeper message us all around around real estate and not sprout too. So that's where the money is. Is like finding that billion dollar idea that just goes into like fucking with the law, finding a loophole in the law that's going to allow you to just exploit the way things currently are and make billions of dollars. It's not going into R and D. It's not going into inventing stuff. And the evidence of that would be cees, which I
will say. There was a product from overseas, I think Singapore that was really cool. It's a like paper width and also like literally made of paper battery that is biodegradable after I think like six weeks, and it's just a flat piece of paper that functions as a battery and they secured a whopping two million dollars on fun Day because people are like, yeah, I don't know, not interested.
But the thing that everybody seems to be talking about is a rumba that is no longer stumped by a sock that seems to be the Yeah, a rumba that has like a little like scorpion stinger arm that comes up from the back of it and can like that's like what it honestly looks like it's going to do, but and say it just like picks up the sock after its third try. Oh, it's not even good at it. And it doesn't even have a problem, I guess.
Figure out like where you You're just gonna put it somewhere else on the floor because I can't reach into the hamper.
Have you ever had a rumba? Like they're wildly inefficient.
Rumas are the worst, especially if you have any kind of pet with any kind of possibility of an accident. It is just a disgusting piece spreading machine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally if it Yeah, if there's a piece of shitting in your house, that's just gonna get fucking squirshed all over the place. Thematically, spread every even if you don't like even not in that worst case scenario when you're the only one who shits on the floor in your house. Yeah, it's almost like having a pet, like it's just it's just constantly roaming. It takes forever to do a small amount of work and then you just like find it dead under the couch, like that's all.
It's five hundred dollars.
Yeah, that's that's like consumer technology. I will say, do you think this paper thing? I think the other problem with CEES is because it's nominally consumer facing things and it is evaluated on a convention floor, it demands fraud. Right, if you're not committing fraud on the CS floor, what are you doing?
Yeah? I mean when you when you look at last year's it was literally the biggest things that people were talking about.
We're all vaporware. It was all bullshit.
The little you're highly incentivized to lie and.
To you're completely incentive to.
Get investors to give you money. That's that's the that's the game. Because no one wants to make a product to sell it because that's not how you make money. You make a product and you sell your company to some oligarchy, and that's how you get paid in doing that over and over again.
If you had a product to sell, I mean you literally would be on shart literally just suction cop TV.
And what a pleasure of having your wife. Since the ground.
Uh where ed t is racist? I don't know.
Who gives a ship. All right, we are back tomorrow with a whole ass episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine and get your flu shots, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk.
To you all tomorrow.
We will also link off to the gofundmate for Miles's family and a fun fundraiser where Zeikegang, a listener, built a really cool lightsaber that you can bid on and all the all proceeds go toward Miles's family who lost their home on the fire.
All right, be safe everybody.
We will talk to you all tomorrow. Fight