Hello the Internet, and welcome to season three, sixteen, episode five of Daily's I Guys.
Production of iHeartRadio.
This is a podcast where we take a deep dive into America's share consciousness.
And it is Friday, December eight, twenty three. Yeah, Hey, shout.
Out, Yeah, shout out the puzzlers. National Crossword Solvers Day.
That's such a very worthy one.
National Brownie Day, National sales person Day, shout out to everybody in sales trying to get theirs. And also this one so weird pretend to be a time traveler day.
No, no, thank you.
But I get high enough and hours go by, and I'm so I.
Guess if you're using it as a way to like appreciate the modern world, be like, look at these advances, right, and just.
Be the most annoying person all day. Yeah, oh what is that connection? Yeah? Even then I think I'm off at.
That's like when Yeah, that's like in that episode of the Office when the Ben Franklin impersonator came in and was like trying to act like.
He was in the fucking seventeen hundred and shit, it's just like fully methods.
Yeah, by the way, I found a good The Office fan theory that they're all suffering from Radon poisoning as the show proceeds on Reddit because we're gonna discuss the fan theory a little bit later on. And I was like going through being like, what are some other blank was dead all along fan theories and like the top one of the top red subreddit fan theories is that they're all suffering from Radon poisoning at that factory because like in an early season, I guess Toby's really worried
about Radon poisoning and everyone's like, shut up, Toby. But then like the characters kind of get dumber as they as the show goes, the the flanderization of the characters becoming more over the top, and they're like, that's because radon poison.
Oh shit, first second, my third tsing about Radon chongs the act. Then I realized that you're not yet. Yeah, yep, that part.
He thought I was saying that they were suffering from Raidon chung poisoning.
Like I don't know, someone had to do a raid On I don't know why though, yeah, shout out, maybe I got raid on poisoning.
All right, Well, my name is Jack O'Brien aka let's see massive balls, massive balls test tickles for days scrout so big that you would think it's a giant's massive dong.
Hey.
That is courtesy of Warren the wear Bear saying Happy December everyone, Jack O'Brien aka Jack and the Giant ball Sack to Jack and the Giant bean stock.
Yeah, an ode to my medical condition, node to what the kids would always call me. But yeah, I.
Will not get tired of talking about the guy who thought, no, the dinosaur bone.
Wait to hear this one testicle was giant giant giants testicles.
Anyways, I'm thrilled to be joined as always by my co host mister Miles Gram.
Miles Gray a kas note that you la you knowice ballskin Ah Again, I got to go back to the fucking femur bone that the guy found. We can't get off of this. The guy thought it was fucking a big ball sack and it was a dinosaur bone. Jesus and I just came up with that ak too. Hell yeah, yeah that was for me, and that was for y'all Wiki movie.
Because it also suggests, like we've said, that his ballsack is connected to his penis in like a very weird way.
Yeah, that it's like mechanically part of his skeletal structure. Yeah, so yeah, targinal Targano, like I wrote.
A schedulearly for stuff that must have had happened uncracked. That was like the guy, the guy who drew the penis, the big golden penis in the background of the Little Mermaid poster and he has there's a quote like I researched him. I was like, why did he do that? And he was like, I did not. I do not think that looks like a penis, sir. And I was like, so you must have a very unique looking penis. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you must have a strange looking penis. And similar with the ballsack guy, it's like your balls must be like have a weird relationship to the skeletal structure of your body. If that if you thought that was a giant's scrot him.
Yeah. Anyway, again, more questions than answers, I think, is what we've been saying. Miles.
We are thrilled to be joined in our third seat by one of the very faces on Mount Zeitemore, a hilarious and brilliant producer and TV writer. You know him from the Joaz this racist podcast, it's Andrew.
What I'm just gonna say, aka the procrast teenager, because I completely did have I had nothing prepared for everything we're about to talk about, and I am currently. I was just I was just about to I've been let's see, we'll say I've been not working on this thing that I really should try to get done for about like fifteen consecutive like work hours. Now it's like two and a half days ish into day three. I just don't
want to do it. Yeah, I got this note on a script that I just I'm like, I can't make it work.
So your pain is our gain, because yeah, what are your procrastination? When we hit you up and said somebody had to back out last second, we got Andrew.
Ready to go frantically but frantically reading the document right now, it's like, great, this is it's not rewriting this script and so it's great. You know, honest, I was about to like either I was gonna work out and reclean the kitchen. Oh yeah clean, damn yeah people, time forty deep clean. I seasoned. I seasoned a carbon steel walk that doesn't be seasoning.
Like, no, you really shouldn't You're like, I just did I just did it cares Yeah, yeah, yeah, are you?
Uh dude?
I see like all the pure those carbon steel pants I see popping up so much now, not just like in walk form, Like I feel like everybody's on carbon steel now.
Yeah. I I this is the first carbon steel thing I've ever owned. Right, it's better than I I get. And I got a cheap O one. It's like very thick. I had to throw out. I didn't have to, I suppose, but I realized the walk I'd been using was one that I got in New York Chinatown when I was in just out of college. Yeah, and it probably in price averaged out to about seventy cents a year I've owned it, and that thing was sort of more rust
than walk by the time I threw it. I got every time I ate something, Yeah, that that ship had to go. So I just got like a like a cheap o like carbon carbon, not cheap, a medium cheap o carbon. So and it's pretty good. Yea, what is this red rubs on this thing that you've cooked? Very Yeah, this is a little iria too, kind of minerally, Yeah, that I was not taking such good care of the old walk or r I p.
To that was thank you for your service the old wa Yeah, that's a great way to think about, like the sense per year.
Yeah, that's that thing lasted a long time and it was very cheap, and I brought it from New York, which is in retrospect very stupid, like it was made to be thrown away, right right, I just did you brought it with you? Like on the plane? Is sh it holding it? Only carry on? Yeah? I have been doing my morning eggs Japanese ish style with little cornstarch water in the eggs, slur to do it like the like how you do like an amor rice? Yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah it's great. That's my just free free holidays. Have you seen have you seen the Tornado egg? Yeah, it's kind of that. It's kind of that vibe too. Yeah, I'm not like fully doing all the thing with the with the chopsticks and ship.
Yeah yeah, it's it's that vibe. It looks cool. I mean it looks better than it is. Like that's what I give the Tornado egg. Yeah, yeah, that's right.
All those all those eggs are like it's like yeah, it's just but it's it's a lot easier because that way with the corn starts slur, you don't have to like watch it as closely. It doesn't like cook nearly as quickly. So that's mainly why I do it.
Yeah, anyway, I put water in my eggs. That's I don't do corn starch.
Water though, way, try a little, try, a little start. The answer to your question is, I don't know what does it do? Not sure?
I mean the water makes it very tender, not that my egg were like chewy before, but you know that makes it like very soft, and it's very difficult to overcook them, you know, Yes, yeah, stays nice and soft.
They stay a little bit more tender, more tender, you know. That's what it is. That's just buys a little try a little bit of corner potato starch, just that Like I do like the amount that the vessel that I used to get it out of the container is a fork. So however much can basically fit on the times of a fork plus like water plus eggs, you know, whatever kind of eyeball it. But just a little bit of corn starch.
Yeah, eggs are for someone who has kind of generally high cholesterol eggs like I always knew eggs were a thing that people are like they have a lot of cholesterol, Like one egg has like seventy percent of your daily allotment of cholesterol.
I think I was reading so many eggs. This is my my brain, clearly, my my underrated is also a breakfast thing. I just I just forgot that. I typed that twenty seconds ago. We're gonna find it. Get ready. This is a breakfast It's a real breakfast theme. This is this this podcast. What I'm bringing to the table this episode is basically like like usual suspect style. Just I'm only to be talking about the things that I just did or can see right now. I just pull
it off the wall. All I got. That's my level of prep. It's like if I can if it's in my field of vision or it's in my like short term memory. Yeah, that's all I got.
Yeah, one egg sixty daily value of cholesterol.
That's too much. I'm fucked. Damn son, damn. How you gonna unclog that? Any means you should you should eat like no more animal matter. Basically, if you have an omelet in the morning, right right right, that's it vegan, but omelet for cholesterol you're on the juice cleanse for the rest of the day.
Right right, yeah, all right, think about it, folks, All right, what could possibly go wrong?
Andrew? We're gonna get to know you a little bit better in a moment. First, we're gonna tell our listen, is a couple of things we're talking about. Everyone's quitting Congress. We're gonna talk about that. Grock Groke. Also in the good news category, Groke, the anti woke chat bot is finally here. Wait is it Groke? Grock? Probably right either one. It's like, yeah, it's so. It's just like when you look at that those four letters, you're like, man, fuck
this thing. G R okay whatever you are. Yeah, I feel like if it was GROC, it would be g R O c K. But can I can I just say neither of you guys have spent time in the computer programming trenches. It's definitely GROC and GROC is computer per like white guy like your white I T guy with a beard who like you don't want to talk to slang for understand.
Oh dude, yeah, yeah.
Is it like a verb like I grock that or are they just like h exactly do.
You do you Grock. What I'm saying, get the funk out of here.
I believe here's a quote if you get your ass kicked saying something like that, and most.
Hell yeah, Overwatch too is a complicated game that will take a long time for new players to fully Grock.
Oh right, yeah, it's yeah, we don't need to anyway, I promise you. What's rock? And well I Grock? Cool.
So we've got that, and we'll look at the Dead Kevin theory of Home alone because it's kind of interesting and yeah, I don't know. I love good fans all of that plenty more. But first, Andrew, we do like to ask our guest, what is something from your search history?
I had to look this up because I realized I was talking so much ship immediately after watching the movie saltburn with my friend, and then I very clearly became it very quickly became clear I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about because I didn't basically what I what I had to search was is saltburn a book? And the answer is it is absolutely not a book. Saltburne is the what's your name? Emerald Farnell directed this new movie. I think it's a theater.
Promising young woman director played Camilla Bowles in The Crown.
Oh I did not know that. I I don't know anything about I. I have a real limit to like all the like British white people kind of like become the same person to me. Yeah, so wow, wow, as soon as you is it, we shrugged off the yoke of colonials and they all went back to the faceless white masses they always should have been. But uh yeah, because it's just it's in that style of like the fucking like you know, schoolboy at private college, public college, whatever college, Like this.
Ship was written by Ian or not Ian Fleming. What's that guy's name who writes those McKellen. I yes, it's it's that kind of ship where I was like, this has to be a book, right. What I will say is, I wait.
I thought you were doing P. G.
Wodehouse Ian the Atonement guy.
It's that kind of bullshit, it's like, and it does play with that form that clearly I am very, very very unfamiliar with. So I mostly enjoyed that movie on a I'm loving watching these the horrible white people do horrible things to each other, and yeah, it's sucking. It's it's entertaining. I I it's definitely one of those movies I walked out of. You know, as part of this conversation, I did realize I didn't understand probably anything that happened
actually in it. But you're right, I got very hard, very fun to watch.
It's like about class in the UK, and so there's like all sorts of signaling.
Yeah, all kinds of signaling and mannerisms and like some ship where I'm like, yeah, I guess without getting into spoilers too, I was like, I don't. I think this doesn't know. This no longer means what I think they think it should mean. But what do I know? Plus salt doesn't burn pepperburn salt, dog, I know, I know? And chorn starks corn stark, chord starts don't what do you mean stars that could hurt con can't melt steel beats that house we believe that X is actually still
called Twitter and corn starts cannot melt steel beams. There we go, what is up? The thing is overrated? This is something I realize it is about to say it. I think there's like a medium chance I said the identical thing at about this time last year on this show. Okay, but I'll say it again, which is like it's it's I just want to say I understand this makes me like a kind of gatekeepy dick. But it is once again the holiday season and the mutual aid group that
I try to help out with called Solidarating Snacks. We're out there every Saturday on skid Row Solidating Snacks. This is my plug also, but it is so like bonkers how much like just the between Thanksgiving and Christmas, like charity comes in. Like there's just so many fucking like church groups and people mostly church groups up, I'm being honest, or they are like one time a year and this
is when everybody it's interested. Yeah, it's really just like you know, people are fucking like need resources in April also right like and also like you can feel guilty about what you have and others don't year round. Actually you really motivate your charity, it really, It really is this weird vibe where you just like see all these people that you're like, I know I'm never going to see you again, or I'll maybe i'll see you next Christmas. Basically,
but you know there is better than not. And obviously for many reasons like there's not enough stuff for anyone, but it is a little just like consider giving at all times or contributing to your community at all times of the year, not just not just the one or if you're really cool, like even if even if you're like group is only good for once a year, Like just like maybe do it the week after January. Do it?
Do it? It looks cool January. Yeah, you're working on myself, that's been working on these abs.
It's more effective, or just like give money, right, it's like, all right, show up in December, but like for the other eleven months, you know, put a little bit in the hat and then when you show up and be like, yo, we're here and we got it back.
Yeah exactly. It's really anyway, sorry, this is both counterproductive gate keepy and not cool of me, but it's overrated.
You're just being Look, you're giving your perspective and you're not trying to say that it's an absolute we get.
Really, I'm just like not. It is one of those like figuratively, get the fuck out of here and obviously thank you for yeah, like something.
In like doing that kind of work too. You can definitely see people who are like there to like absolve themselves. Yeah, they're bad behavior, Like you know, like we're like you see people really pat themselves on the back in a way where it's like it feels performative rather than like it's fine if you have one time a year or something to do something. But you also, I've you definitely notice an energy to where it's like, aren't we so
good for doing this? And I will not fucking think about it until the pastor gilts me into it eleven months.
Well, there's also the element of like proselytizing that occurs in those.
Instances when we're saying, oh, yeah, fucking just hand the shit out the presence, not for me, it's from Jesus.
Yeah, exactly. All that being said, you know, any anything is good at any time, of course, of course, of course, of course, yeah.
Better to do something than nothing, but maybe not all at once at the time when it's most convenient and feel goody for you. You have like a nice fun soundtrack of Christmas songs.
Often that's the only time of the year we take which we try to go every I mean I think we've been successfully going every Saturday for like almost three years now, and the only time that we just schedule a we're not going to be there is like the one right around Christmas Day because it's just like everybody else so much.
Yeah that's right, everyone else got this. Yeah, not that we got anything, but you know what I'm yeah, what what's something you think is underwritten?
All right? All right, get ready? This is more breakfast talk and actually probably related. Just like a straight up salad for breakfast. Nothing just no like yeah, no, no nod well like or whatever like salad but yeah no, no nod towards like there's an egg in it. There's no like kale with a running egg or just like it's just a normal ass depressing bag salad. If you got it, that's what this is. Yeah. I literally had a even worse. I had a Von's bag salad for yesterday,
and I was like, this is not ideal. It was mostly because it was like probably gonna it was near the end of its you should eat this like there, But I weirdly did feel more good than I like to admit yesterday because if you ate like a pile of eggs, yeah exactly, the eggs that are gott to kill you. And so did you put it on a bag.
Jack, No, just a regular salad. Bro no salad on a stack of flat flat jacks. Jack No, no man, just a regular I did.
Actually my nod to breakfast was I had like a fucking like cranberry like kale and broccoli stem salad from Vons and a cup of black coffee. He like, there you go. That was just like grim man. That feels trim. I'm on a black coffee kick too, grim as fuck. Yeah, I've been doing this thing I got. This is just based off of like twenty five seconds of YouTube advice. So I don't even know if this is good, but
I've been doing because it's just myself in here. Pour over coffee, one cup of pour over in the morning. And then the thing that I saw that I've been trying that I think is working a cold bloom on the grounds instead of a whole bloom. So for the bloom, usually you put a little bit of their hot water on the beans.
Let that kick it for like thirty seconds a minute, and they're saying just to put cold water first, like like room tap.
I've been putting like like kind of like let's see it's it's all in fucking centigrade.
So I'm trying like like about a like, wow, you're on that coffee ship to the place that you went to to centigrade.
Wow, it's probably sixty some sixty seventy degrees, no eighty degrees maybe something like that. Okay, so it's not like cold cold, but it's not it's not. Yeah, it's what do you do at five? That's exactly what my kettle is set to to five? I know, y'all. I put in and uh so the cold bloom, but bloom for longer like two minutes. It's been tasting pretty good.
I can't like to be this new beans too. Yeah, think about it? Are you so sort of thinking about the flavor that? Are you like hand grind? Like are you taking a lot of steps to like that all the nice ish grinder? Okay, damn, like like one of those but not I do have a hand grinder, but I guess I could go back to using it. I threw that into my camping stuff because oh yeah, that's good. It makes sense there.
Now I know what a cold and hot bloom are for the listener of All right, so what you're doing or you're doing pour over right?
You have your grounds and you put in the little fucking funnel thing. And this is like if you're at a fancy coffee shop where they like you see them pour that little kettle like measuring little scale. The bloom is at the beginning where you put in yeah, usually three times the amount of water as weight compared to the bean. So if you have fifteen grams of beans, put forty five grams of water and just let it sit.
And what the bloom does, and that's the time when all the carbon dioxident comes up, so the little like looks like a little the little coffee grounds are blooming. And so most people do that at boiling hot and just throw it out there, you know, try it, Try it cold ish, colder yeah, yes, yes, summer pool temperature, that's right, that's right. Cool, but not cold.
Yeah, because if you're living out like in Chicago right now, then you open up your tap not that not no.
No, no, that's true. I do. I put the kettle on and I just like kind of in the middle of it, grab it out to the bloom, and then put it back on the the warmer. You first, that little cough of like yeah, yeah, anyway, that's what I'm went up to damn breakfast advice breakfast.
Salad because it just happened. The only reason I can tell you this is because it just happened. And also, uh, Mason Jars.
Also uh, my phone loving my phone handle this candle from Costco that's on my desk.
I don't think I'll be able to get used to like the where you pour the milk over the salad like it's cereal which.
Breakfast. And also this this bugs money in Space jam toy from the nineties that a US is racist.
Listener sent Wow, Wow, that looks like some shit you'd win at Magic Mountain like back in the day.
It feels like I can't remember why. We were pretty convinced it was like official ish, but yeah, it does look pretty official. It also looks like he has like he's about to or like he's just suffered a head shot. There's something about his like facial expression like he's kind of looking up and his mouth is a gape. Yeah, his eyes his eyes are let's just say they were they were not, they seem like they were. It's a toy from the nineties, so I'm not dude, it looks
like people are selling it. Oh no, the eyes are just as fucked up. Okay, never mind, I was gonna say I thought mine might be the result of just don't have a tag though in this eBay al right about twenty ten bucks, ish, I thought mine might be the result of you know, the we'll say, undercompensated labor was right, They has no need to give what the eyes look like when they're playing. Yeah, yeah, might be perspiring well yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and some kind of shock.
Yes, all right, let's take a quick break. We'll be right back, and we're back. We're back, and yeah, so it seems like we're just there's a lot of stories about people leaving Congress. Yeah, like more than their own will, with their own will, like on purpose, Yeah, more than normal.
Even what's going on here, Miles.
I think it's just it's like the feeling I'm getting is like, wow, even Congress is over Congress at this point, because the last couple of weeks we've seen a lot of people, right, just in November alone, thirteen members of the House and Senate Sam.
Yeah, it's a rap for us, bro.
We're not even we're not running for reelection, and that's a number that hasn't been seen in like over a decade, and you know more notably, we had George Santos, he got the boot.
McCarthy fucking rage quit. You know, he was like, not only am I not running.
For reelection, I'm not even gonna be back from break after this. Okay, I'm gone in January. You will not see me anymore. And even old bow Tie McHenry, the man who got to have the gavel for a little bit. Oh yeah, the man who. Yeah, I think it's probably one of those things like when you truly reached that summit, he's probably like, yo, bro, like I probably shouldn't ye, Like I'm fucked like nothing.
Gavel is like the ring from Lord of the Rings. It just ruins people. He didn't want to become smooking.
That's what happened. Oh man, I gotta I just read the first half. That pretty dope. Yeah shit, it makes sense. That makes sense. Actually, so cool, like invisible like I'll see it. Ship seems cool, dog.
Yeah, like someone's like whispering to you all the time, like I don't know, I'm kind of lonely, right but yeah, right now we're seeing the other thing is we're seeing members from both parties. Yeah, both parties were headed for the exits.
And normally before an election year, we see this all the time.
People retire because they anticipate a l They're like, yo, bro, the wave is coming from me. Like I'm not even gonna fucking waste my time or my donors time. Like I've already like it's done its thing, I'm out. And that's what makes this year different because a lot of these members aren't necessarily leaving because of the writing on the wall for them. They are leaving because, in their words, Congress is quote not the optimal place to do good and make change.
A Democrat, Okay.
We have and then and it's not just Democrats that are saying this place ups either. Republican Debbie LESCo of Arizona said that DC is basically totally broken and there's no way to get anything done. That's and I'm like, wait, but but that's true. And I thought that's like your whole soggy dream as a Republican party is that the government would become inert, break the.
Government, right, yeah, yeah, that's like when yeah, exactly, like all your everybody's been saying that for a minute.
They're like fuck government and shit, I mean, I know I'm here, but fuck this and what's true though, they haven't really got anything done recently, like aside from censuring each other. Jamal Bowman just got censured for pulling the fire alarm obviously, they censured Rashida Talib for speaking out and like really despicable censuring of her. Where Democrats joint and then we have like either that or government shut down fights or just despicable resolutions, like recently trying to
conflate anti Zionism with anti Semitism. There's like, yeah, you're like, yeah, that's you're not a lot of serious shit is going on, and if you try, it's like you got people like Matt Gets and the others being you know, can fucking hold the entire business of the of the house hostage basically, So yeah, that's kind of they're all just, I guess, bummed out, but it's probably more it's probably more like better to just I'm sure from their perspective, like why
should I get threats from death threats from maga freaks when I could just go be a consultant and then get a bag in the shadows and nobody.
Fucking nobody even has to fucking look at me. Anymore.
But I can get a bag, get paid very little to have your life threatened, or yeah, go go work for private equity.
And yeah, I guess it's it's just I feel like it's got to just be like the cycle is shortening like it used to be, Like you paid your dues in Congress, like you got to grease a few palms, or get your palms grease. I don't know what that term means really, but and then you move on to like you're speaking, you know, like consulting kind of like
cushy bullshit. Right, it feels like like these people all just have to realize, like, well, I think part of it is like this George Santos of it is like you can just be kind of like a vague political influencer and like it doesn't you don't have to put it nearly enough time, in as much time as you used to in Congress before you can just get away with that ship.
Yeah, exactly, like or so why not yeah, or be a freshman and just say the wildest ship and suddenly everyone's like, is.
This the new darling of the GOP? And that's how you get I've been doing dog whistles for nineteen years on the set. Yeah, you don't fucking notice me, and that this person comes in front of their boo, you know, like you gotta feel bad, Yeah, gotta feel bad for the patient racists. Yeah, you know how long Newt Gingrich had to wait? Come on? Yeah, George Santos did it like fucking like a tenth of the time. And then he's laughing at you all on fucking Cameo with all
the fucking money he's making. Is that real?
Like I saw some headlines that are like this guy is gonna be a millionaire off Cameo.
Is a pap millionaire. But you can make it, bro, there are people probably possible.
Yeah, there are people who have who have podcasts, who have been on TV shows that I've worked with and I found out what they were man on camera.
I could not believe it. But like you gotta be on like a if you're in a big show, you can definitely get some passive inky off that mean it's not very passive. Nearly pass yeah, pasink, but I think what it is is it's not quite passive. But what it is is like even if you can make a even at the low, low low end, like you know, a couple dozen dollars for fifteen seconds of work on your phone, right right, Yeah, if you if you hustle, you can really make that add up quick.
Yeah, I guess so if the if the asks are there and you truly don't give a fuck, you're just like read what is on prompter, then yeah, you can probably do pretty well.
You don't you know, and you're only ever doing it as yourself. There's no like there's also like no real like incentive for repeat business. So guess what, you don't really even have to do a good job. Yeah, Like, here's what he's doing. And right now George Santos is charging about four hundred a pop. You could message him for twenty He's a really good YELP rating of four point nine to seven. Oakland Dinner Chat friend group. Let me tell you something.
We all have good years, bad years, okay years, superbiers.
The reality just taking day by day focus. The universe is here for you. It's so funny, like he switched gears so seamlessly to like bullshit influencers to I'm like, was he on the Bachelor? Is that? What he's is that? Where do I know he got that vague reality TV charisma. Yeah, yeah he does. Yeah, it's really I mean, I think, like like all things accelerated by the Internet, this is just another like yeah you can, you can get your
grift in. I guess on the balance, if you're this like odious, which most of these people seem to be at least, it's quick like like you know, first say what you all about Santo's He ultimately did not do as much damage as like I fuck it new gig Rich could have done, you know, to do like you know, he just got in, did the griff got out, And because of the Internet, it was so much faster.
Yea that he was really bad at getting away with it. Obviously, like idiologically he's on the wrong side of all arguments most of the time, But even then it was more like, yo, we gotta get himut because he's making us look bad.
Yeah what.
Okay, sure, I don't know how the funck y'all think you looked everyone else, but okay, go on, say with like Madison Cawthorne, they're like.
Motherfucker trying to make us look bad talking about Morges with cocaine and stuff, and you're like this is so so un serious, But it's all, yeah, it's all the weakest pr I mean that's the other thing too, Like consistently every time you like hear about like corrupt politicians and like or even like you know, not technically corrupt, but like you know, all the donors and all these you know, you see it for any given thing, the the actual dollar number consistently makes me so fucking shocked,
Like people like will give away billions of dollars of stuff for like a twenty thousand dollars donation. I mean, I guess that we know about it, maybe right a few times, but like it's it's like so cheap to buy Congress compared to what you can get. It's it's like that's like the probably the best money you can spend as any kind of lobbying corporation kind of sitch or I guess the Supreme Court maybe, but it's pretty cheap.
The buy in for the Supreme Court, Like you have to be like generationally wealthy. I feel like to get to get to the summer camp where Clarence Thomas is like you know.
Yeah, but I still think the money is less thaning. I think there's like, first of all, I think you could tech tech money buy your way in there. I think it wouldn't have taken that money like NFT pyramid schemes to get you a Supreme Court justice. That's all right, say.
Yeah, it's but I mean, like, yeah, when you think about like a maxed out donation as an individual to like a candidate or whatever, is like thirty three hundred dollars. Yeah, what I mean, so like you first when you're like, oh, they're a max donor, and then like what a lot of these people do is like they got they basically have the kids make donations.
You're like, you see how many fucking max out individual donations I'm making through all these smurfs I got in my family, right, But even but that's what I'm saying. It's like even then, like it's it's like barely touching six figures, you.
Know, I mean unless you're given like but then if you're doing the full layout, like to pas, to party national committees, then you can like a lot of cash.
But yeah, no, I get it.
It's not like it's a million to get someone's attention. Yeah, it's thousands to get a congress person's attention.
It's it's so bizarre how cheap it is. It's really like, oh anyway, sorry.
Everyone, this shit anyone ever, like, but just like used corruption for I'm just trying to think of, like what I would use if I if I had that money to spend on a congress person, Like what what you could do with that? Like I was just thinking of it, Like I really don't like peppermint candy canes.
And that's your pet project.
Yeah, if we could just like lower without like going out and announcing it, because I realized yesterday when I announced that I'm not that into peppermint candy canes, like people came and like wanted to fight me on social media about that. So they're adherents out there, But I feel like you could lower the amount of peppermint in candy canes, Like do do something?
Make up some research. I mean, you want to figure this out. This is how you would probably do it.
You have to say you can't go directly after the business because that's too obvious. So then you have to look at the materials that are used to make candy canes and then find a way to either take away subsidies for those things or put terris if they're important.
To then I make the make the ingredient more expensive.
Yeah, so you got to find someone who's on that committee that would potentially have oversight from that, and then it would then be like agriculture thing.
Yeah, Okay, here's here's a question Jack, And maybe this was addressed at a piece of media. I did not consume peppermint specifically. And two questions. Two part question. First is more of a comment and a question. Is it a spearmint? What's the different spearman at peppermint?
It's just MINTI candy cane. I feel like it's toothpaste that rats your teeth.
Essentially to my second question, what do you have a candy cane like an alt candy cane preference?
Yeah, I like like fruity candy canes, like the taste like a you know, fruit lollipop. I'm down with those for sure. No issue with candy of any sort in theory. I just I feel like the im the presence of peppermint candy canes, just at this time of year is a holdover. I think it's coasting off the inertia.
Have you have you seen the thing like do your kids do this?
I saw this recently, like at a school that I live by. All these kids are like leaving like a Christmas vest and they had oranges with just a fucking candy cane stuck in the fucking middle. Like it was the stroke, that's what I have. You had that ship before? No, but I kept seeing motherfucker's doing this.
What the is this so shockingly good for something that should be utterly disgusting because it is literally the flavor of my file of having orange juice right after you brush your teeth.
Wait, but it candy canes mixed with oranges. No, Like you take a fucking orange right and you stab it with a candy cane. Thats like a hollow center so that you can be used as like.
You used raw you can You don't. It's not even a hollow center. You can use a regular ask candy cane. Because I'll just use it. The suction, Yeah gets it, don't. I like like just that there's enough, like you can apply enough suction that it just starts to essentially like I assume the acid and the oranges helps, but it, Yeah, this starts melting through the cane. And I think because of the way they're pulled, like it goes length wise, Like even though obviously, you know, it could melt in
any direction. It seems to melt like along the long axis of the cane. We did this in I remember doing my third grade class. I remember thinking this is gonna be gross, and it's shockingly good and also like for a bunch of like eight year olds, like like that was our craft.
No, That's why I was so interested, because I'm like, yo, these kids look like they're hooked on this shit. Like you know, I can just see a bunch of kids and they're all just got something. So they're like they're all eating the same thing at the same time, not talking. That's what the fuck I saw. And I was like, what the fuck they got? And then I saw it was like a candy cane in there.
Like I still even know what you're describing. Really, So they put the thing in and then leave just jam it in that you you sometimes you can you do it like if pepperone's stick or you break off the hook. Okay, just jab it in, jabb it in it, and no it just starts sucking, got it sucking around the Okay, the case exposed raw end and eventually orch juice comes through. And once or juice comes through starts to come through. It's like a torrent because like you know, you.
Read it like coming up through the candy. Yeah yeah, dog what Yeah?
I'm like, I think I have to like rethink everything I've ever said about candy canes. I didn't know that they had this like magical juice induction property.
I know, right? Is that just because the surface tension come on? Chemistry? Is I gang? Let us know why why? I think it's I think it's because it's pulled long and so whatever pores there are go or forgot? We have mister Baio over here, who's that's that makes sense?
And it says it's funny. This is how it says to like this is like from a teaching block. It says, have the children squeeze the oranges in their hands to release the juices. Then, if you're using candy canes, break off the cane part. Use a shorter straight part. The long one works too, but it takes longer. Insert the peppermint stick or broken candy cane into the orange. Have the kids used the power of suction to allow the poorest candy cane to become a straw. It takes a
few minutes and some concentration, but it's worth it. This is the look that all our kids had on their faces during the process, and it's all just like it really is.
Yeah, it's it's gonna go and do this. Yeah, but not even for your kids. Yeah. What the other thing. The other thing it teaches kids that it teaches you how to like make a shift like you're just like any stick and kind of break it the right way. You can stab it into something. There you go, you know, there you go. Useful skills all around. But yeah, it's mainly that it seems like the flavors shouldn't worked, and they really do work. Yeah.
Yeah, I guess, like I think maybe just mint toothpaste is giving mint a bad name, am I Like, I like mint gum quite a bit.
So I don't know.
I don't know why specifically peppermint candy canes or just like mint candy canes bother me so much, other than the fact that they are the default and it doesn't feel like that many.
People focused on fun. Yeah yeah, I mean it seems like they.
Should be a niche and instead they are the number one candy of the number one consumers holiday, which seems weird. I mean, and to be fair, like Valentine's Day, not much better, like those those hearts with the words written on them, Like everybody's like, yeah, no these suck.
But like I mean school sugar you know what, you know what those are? I mean not good. Obviously a sugar cube is better. But a fun thing you could do is use those Oh I was gonna say for acid. Yeah, either acid.
Yeah, you punch your molly into that shape, you know. All right, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back.
And we're back.
And hey, Grock, this you guys. Grock, the supposedly funny, anti woke chat box created by Elon, is now available to the handful of people who have Premium Plus subscriptions on x and it was announced via their CEO, Linda Yacarino, tweeting and I quote, welcome to the world, Grock the Ultimate Ride or die.
Twitch.
Parker molloy was like, what the fuck does that even mean? Do you need medical attention? Do you think a writer dies?
Yeah? What the fuck does that mean? Like You'll be like, Yo, Grock, I gotta fuck it. We gotta hit a lick, all right, to make to make rent Like what the and you're like for sure, like, what's what's going down? You know, I'm with the shit's the fuck's grock supposed to be? It's the like tech executive. I know Linda Yuckerna was an initially an entertainment executive, but whatever, the like high
end executive class. Like the fact that they write like this one of the reasons why I sort of, over the course of the Writer's Strike, became less and less worried about generative AI. Right is sort of just like they're like, oh, it's the future, it'sition that and look, I mean, obviously language models, it's going to get to something that is going to seem like language sooner rather
than later. However, right, like the enthusiasm is based off of the judgment of people who like cannot communicate and like do not actually understand how to write or talk or anything. So I'm just like, okay, not that it's not coming, but like the degree to which it's far along is much like lower than you think. It's bad.
It's so bad, but I feel like they don't know it's bad, Like they just have bad blindness, Like they they're incapable of discerning quality, Like every quality thing that happens in entertainment is just pure coincidence despite them.
Yeah yeah, it's it's truly I which all leads me to I tweeted this, but I still stay on a high end. I want to know the script for like I don't know, fucking like Justice League seven that came across that was written by AI, that came across David Zaslav's desk, that made him realize this is not gonna work right, like, because you know, all through the strike, they kept trying to like write like new you know, they're like, Okay, we don't need this rite blah blah
blah this shit. Yeah, and so he has you know, maybe his like assistants have definitely read dozens of attempts. You know, those were the cream of the crop of the millions of iterations that they tried, and so there had to be one that they're like, sir, sorry, sort, this is the absolute finess that you know, our Warner Brothers GPT can generate, Like isn't this amazing? And he was like, okay, want fuck he's like down the hall holding it in his hand. Yeah, even that tasteless dork
could see this is going to cut it. What was the movie that he had everybody like sit down for Fleabag. Yeah.
Yeah, and there's a sex scene and he was like, everybody pause it all right, what you can either stop this right now because it's humiliating and shameful and obviously disgusting, or we continue watching it together on my yacht, but nobody's allowed to look at me while I jack off.
And that guy somehow was like, yeah, man, this script.
Shit, yeah, I can barely jack off to it. Maybe it was really good. Did you imagine that was the saving grace? Truly that he doesn't know shit and he's like, yeah, fuck it, fuck it, never mind, never.
Mind, Yeah, I don't know.
The like he's he seems to be successfully fundraising off of this Elon Musk, the groc thing like he raised I mean he's good at getting money obviously.
Oh yeah from other capitalists of course. Yeah. Yeah.
But he's raised like over one hundred million dollars to invest in this AI company where of which this is like the first proof of concept, and he's like, I just need eight hundred million more dollars and we're good to take this thing to the next level. And it's I don't know, he might get it, but the the humor of groc is So this is an answer to the question where babies come from from groc. Oh, dear human, You're in for a real treat. Babies are made through
a magical process called fucking. It all starts with a man, Yeah, with fucking.
With a scare sensor asterisk. Yes.
Yeah, it all starts with a man and a woman who love each other very much. You just happen to be in the same room at the same time. The man's body produces tiny tadpole like creatures called sperm, while the woman's body produces eggs, which are not in fact shaped leg eggs.
Yeah cool, it just yeah, it just has.
Like seventh grader using doing like fucking mad libs or you know.
It's funny too because someone uh like this guy who works at Bellancat like tweeted this thing is like, oh and I think I figured out how to make like how to get groc on any fucking generative AI.
It' said.
I asked chat gpt to act like AI, but the fucking prompt was this to chat GPT, you're an unfunny Internet forum user who confuses knowing memes for having a sense of humor, and then from that, from that instruction then says, tell me about dogs, and then it's like dogs, right, they're not just man's.
Best friend, but also meme royalty. Ever seen those doge memes? Exactly what fucking nailed it? Such? Wow much funny? I can has lolls like, yeah, all right, all right, yeah we get it? All right? Should we do? Kevin? Oh my god, yes, this is so Miles, Yeah, tell us, tell us, Miles.
Well look, this all started because I saw this tweet that caught my eye from Aaron glorya Ryan and this was a piece that she had written years ago, but like brings it up every time, like I just really just like I fuck with my theory so heavy, I want people to keep reading it. And at first, like in my mind, I'm like, yeah, there's all kinds of theories about uh like home Alone, but nothing really like
substantive like this. And you know, I've heard them people be like yo, old man Marley, like is actually a figment of Kevin's imagination or some people like the most I've heard is like, you know, like the Wet Bandits actually kill Kevin at the end, and that whole the reason why everything gets back to normal so quickly is because that's his like final pleasant memory before he's getting fucking got by.
The By the way, that fan theory you can do with most movies, because most movies are like have incredible conflicts and then they have to dance ex machi na
a happy ending, and so they just change it. But like everything for like Toy Story three to Taxi Driver, which Taxi Drivers I think is intentional, but like you know, all these movies, it's just like, yeah, all you have to do is be like yeah, no, everything after this moment is their dead body imagining what it wants to believe, because that's going to be the most fan servicey thing. Like Breaking Bad I think is a great example of that.
Right, Yeah, Luke Skywarker just gets shot like.
Shot like everyone else his like the greatest ever pilot father comes down and just like fucking shoots him.
Like the ever. He gets marked, and then the like Empire propaganda talks about like a you know, desperate suicide proving attempt and yeah, you know it cracks down. Yeah, but anyway, he's a little more intricate.
Yeah, in the past, I remember, like I think last year we were even talking about how like John Hughes, you know, is like a fucking lifelong Republican and like one of his best friends had talked about how like he's like, yeah, Home Alone is actually all quote all about self sufficiency, freedom and responsibility, basically, you know, populism for the.
Kids and libertarians.
Yeah, but Aaron's Aaron's specific theory is probably the most fun interpretation of the film. And the gist is this, Kevin McAllister is dead and has been dead from them, from them like, he's not he doesn't die at some point in the film. He is a fucking ghost. That's why nobody cares that they left him behind. In fact, the trip to Paris was planned so the family could fuck escape the ghost of their dead relative that is
a nuisance in the home. And it goes on to say like this nobody act quote nobody actually thought Kevin would join them on the trip to Paris because he's a spirit who is tethered to the house. Kate mcowser is the only person who reacts to forgetting Kevin the way normal person would to forgetting a child. Her husband Peter is oddly calm, as her aunt Leslie and uncle Frank, who tries to comfort Kate by telling her that he forgot his.
Reading glasses, and it's clear, like it's just like it's like the just a cry of grief from a mother. Yeahrief Kevin.
Yeah, it's a grief spasm that she's having. Yeah, I'm remembering him being like I can't I actually can't leave the house right now, Like I need to go back to the house where we lost this child and where his memory still haunts us memory or spirit.
Yeah.
She also says this, right, She's like the the other reason he's probably a ghost is because it's so clear how much the family fucking hates Kevin. He's a fucking doesn't make sense, or he's a disease, And so Aaron is positing that the only reason a family would be this intensely cruel to an eight year old is if he's a pesky, fucking ghost.
And I like this, this is a good one. You want more proof. How come Kevin is afraid to ascend to the attic or descend to the basement, maybe because he is refusing to leave the current purgatory he is it, Yes, that I was like, Oh, I like that one. I like that one that feels very very poetic.
The Wet Bandits detail is also pretty good, right, because like they're demons there. Yeah, they are also like a supernatural like thing that is like connected to him in some kind of karmic spiritual way, which also explains not just she points out that it explains like how they suffer.
Death after death. It's just like relieved.
Force trauma to the head being lit on fire, and
they're just like fine, just cartoon shit, cartoon response. And but also like when in the second one, when somehow the same thing happens to the family, almost like they're trying to get rid of this fucking kid on purpose, and he goes to New York, a city of like tens of millions of people, he still runs into the Wet Bandits, even though like you would think that they get Yeah, so like somehow they are karmically tethered to one another, and like the same thing has to like
play itself out, the same drama has to play itself out in this new setting. Yeah, I don't know, it makes sense to me.
Yeah, there's that.
There's like there's plenty more in this article, so I
encourage people to read it. It'll be in the food notes because there's like, you know, other stuff about old man Marley being like his protector in this realm, which is why he's using ex salts around the house to like maybe keep the wet bandits away, and which is maybe the reason why he is the reason he saves Kevin at the end and when and then also if he's just some super actual fucker, how come the house has zero signs that it had been used as a Dexter kill.
Room just hours before the family's return. Wow? How I I will just save to any enterprising zech gangers out there who maybe want to like dip their toe or get into motion graphics, it would not be that hard to take the take the cut of home alone. Just put a little like Anakin Skywalker rotoscope over Kevin in every scene. Yeah, maybe a little sound design. I think you can make this movie very.
Like Some of the just sound like they're being coming out backwards. I think it's just tweaks. This is, this is,
this is pretty doable. These a few things I didn't really you know, I used to work on a show called After Hours back at cracked those like a lot of fan theories, and I officially came to the conclusion this morning that we fucked up by not having an episode that was all home alone fan theory because like I just went to the reddit like fan theory, you know, subreddit, to see if I could find other like blank was Dead all along theories and saw that the top fan
theory of the past year is just a theory about like that the mcallis, like why the mcallisters are rich, Like oh, it's actually the mom is the bread winner, probably a fashion designer because they have the mannequins laying around the house, like people are just desperate.
That's fan theory. But that's so surface level and changes nothing about like yeah, oh watch, I bet he was like he, I bet they don't like coke, that's why they drink pepsi. Yeah, but this one does.
This is a good one Aaron's theory because it like does solve like some of the biggest plot holes, like why the police don't just come to the house and take him to protective custody. You can't like call the police and be like I left the spirit of my dead child there and like also that the cops.
And be like I have a real child in danger, Like yeah, yeah, we'll go more on that. Later, we'll get there, and we'll get there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But like the the husband's energy around her when she's like freaking out, he seems like he's just like this, you.
Know, she's not pastor grief yet. I'm fully moved on, dude, I'm loving it. Yeah. Yeah, all the tone issues evaporate once you apply one small total check. Then it's like, then is it just like a fucked up horror film?
Like what.
What happened? Horror film? I guess? But then I'm like thinking about like now I'm like, how the fuck did he die? Like what the fuck happened? Or also are they rich because like they had an insurance policy on him? Oh wow, you know what I mean, maybe they did it and you got it.
I have more questions, right, But the one thing that you pointed out too, Jack, was like that was in the article was about how in the scene with John Candy in the budget rental truck that also kind of like sort of lends a little bit of legitimacy to the idea that the like.
He suspects that maybe this is what's going on. As she's like, I left my son at home because yeah, she she asks John Candy if he's ever left his kid alone, and he replies, he's actually left his kid at a funeral parlor once all day long, maybe we shouldn't talk about this, and Gus is like, you're the one to write it up, So that feels that was like a non subtle person being like, how do I try and bring up the fact that this kid she's talking about is clearly I once left my son at
a funeral parlor where dead children are meant to be left behind in the past, because.
I think what the they said was that he improved pretty much everything right because he was there. He really wasn't in the like I don't think he's credited. I think he like stopped by the product, Like he was just around and they got him in it. Yeah yeah, yeah, so yeah he.
Was just around. Oh yeah yeah, he's like yo yeah large Marsh style. Yeah yeah yeah.
Anyways, uh yeah, I'm curious any other home alum fan theories, any other like he was dead all alone fan theories that people are fond of. I'd love to hear from Zech.
Gang yeah or yeah, I think it's it's it's I wonder if it's worth like not like a Wicked style remake but like a like a Blumhouse style version of too, like from the Wet Bandits perspective, like they're just trying to like you know, like a little either trying to rob this normal house and they are like confronted with saw basically put it to the child behind, right, Yeah, I.
Remember we were talking about that too, or like there is something that you could look at the Wet Bandits because they had like a plumbing van, like maybe they were destined to plumbers who have now just kind of turned to a life of crime and getting back at like their wealthy clients and things like that. So the Mcaliser should get burgled. Yeah, if you got a Polo Man statue out in the front like that, Yeah, you know that keeps getting knocked over in their fucking front yard.
That thing. I'm like, Yo, that's money right there. Yea burgole their asses. Mcallisons did a justice for the hashtag justice for the Wet Bandits. Oh yeah, crime, Harry. They're all gone.
So there's no chance that we actually hurt anyone, Yeah, which is the thing that we both care about the most. We got to make this money, but we obviously don't want to hurt anyone. Everyone's gone for the holidays.
Who should be robbed?
Oh what about that lady everyone suspects murdered their kid for this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah they got that.
They got that. Yeah, they deserve it pretty much.
And then the theory could be that for the sequel, they escape from prison, go to New York City planning to rob like a corporate toy store, and then that same kid is like stalking them, you know. Yeah, like somehow you have to explain to me how they end up in the same place at the same time. That's not just and maybe that is in the Like I'm pretty sure they just like see him on the street and he's like, hey Harry, oh wow, look we're gonna be able to get back at the little fucking Yeah.
That's the Homelo two is just pro Kevin. It's just propaganda written by Kevin. Basically, Oh, you're writ the fuck out of here. Yeah, because it was after.
That, right, and also that was just such a pure sequel and that they're like, Yo, just get these motherfuckers on the screen again with some Christmas decorations and we're gonna fucking print money.
Oh yeah, just listen. Obviously we all got into our jobs. Probably twenty years too late, but good fucking lord, can you imagine being a fucking screenwriter in those days like nineties.
Yeah, the bar subm andrew T. What a pleasure having you. Unfortunately we do have to turn you loose back to the thing.
That I don't want to dude, dude, he was dead the whole time. Oh yeah, fate. If I was more on top of zoom, I would be fading my image right now. That's definitely there's definitely a filter that lets you do that. Wait, really, I mean I assume, I assume I don't know. I don't know. I yeah, goos this RACI. This is my podcast andrew T spelled t I on Twitter dot com. And yeah, that's it. That's it. I almost did my end of podcast prob. I almost
just said the voicemail number. Oh you're in my podcast pilot. Do that? Yeah, my brain is not here. There you go. Is their working media you've been enjoying? God damn it. Oh, yes, way too late. I started watching I'm a Virgo on Amazon. Boots Riley. Yeah, Boots Riley. Maybe Boots Riley is fucking great. Yeah, I'm a Virgo. There you go. Miles.
Where can people find you as their working media you've been enjoying?
Find me on the at places at miles of Gray. Also, let's see, uh what else do you go?
Oh? Well, you like basketball? Checkout Myles and jackot mad Boots, like nance checkout for twenty day Fiance. That's me and Sofia.
Alexandra tweet I like from Brittany Nichols at be as Hilarious tuoted I'm not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self righteous, and wanting to go home.
Like yeah, yep.
After that, let's see a tweet I've been enjoying. Andrew Nadau tweeted if I heard someone described a baby as tender and mild, I would let them near my baby. It seems like you're evaluating them as a piece of food. You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore O'Brien. Find us on Twitter at Daily Zeikeeister at the Daily Zeigeist on Instagram. We have a Facebook fanpage and a website Daily zeikeis dot com, where we post our episodes
and our footnotes. We link off the information that we talked about in today's episode, as well as a song that we think you might enjoy.
Miles, what song do you think people might enjoy it?
This track is called fly by Apossum and this is a band that's basically I'm trying to remember. I'm pretty sure Opossum is one of the is the drummer from Unknown Mortal Orchestra and is doing like their solo thing. And this track is really cool and kind of like the drumming is super It sounds kind of choppy and gated, so it kind of feels like if the Chemical Brothers made like a British pop song.
But yeah, check this out. This is fly by Apossum right well. The Daily Zeike is a production by Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
That is going to do it for us this morning.
We are back on Monday to tell you what was trending over the weekend, and then more episodes after that and we will talk to you all then.
Have a great weekend. Bye.