Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Fuckable snow trend Movie. Wow, my name is h I got a song in my heart and I have a dance in my fingers because my heart worms. Uh, all right, so here's we We've come up with the structure of
this episode. It's if you've ever watched like high school football practices running the ball, Yeah, where you run the ball through a gauntlet of people with tackling pads and they just wreck your ship from left and right and you got it through that, and then you get to the other side and there's a Fuckable Snowman movie waiting for you to uh just discuss.
To discuss.
So that's uh, We're we're going to run through the gauntlet of terrible news and then we will get down to hot Frosty.
We won't expand too much because I think we already know how bad everything is.
But let's just start number one. Joe Biden is trending.
Why okay, Frosty like a sexual maneuver right like that, you know, like the rusty trombone.
Got to get through it.
The whistle has blown. We've been handed the ball, and we need to put our heads down. Frosty would Hot Crossty do so?
Again last month we heard again.
Oh, I know what it would do. It's gross though, we're not going.
To talk about. Don't talk about it. Talk about this gross thing. Joe Biden, stay focused. Last girls one cut that look, dude, that looks like Jo're gonna remember, We're going to have to. So last month, you remember, there was this whole threat of like, we're giving Israel thirty days to make sure there was more humanitarian aid going into Gaza or else, and people were like, what does the or else mean? He's like, oh, we don't want to know, brother, even in the wording, you're like, could
potentially cut military assistance. Well, thirty days have passed and we haven't seen any consequences. So as this is all happening, you know, we're there's new crossings opening up into Gaza. Israel announced and again the quote what we're hearing from the State Department is basically that there's there is They will be doing nothing.
They will be doing nothing. They will be doing nothing.
It's very I don't know again, this was I mean, we've seen just based on how the administration has been making these decisions that it was always just going to be sort of performative, but now to the point where it truly is just like nonsense. They're like, oh, we got thirty days and or else means or else, we will just keep help helping you. And this is well again, we're seeing more violence in supposed safe zones, more violence in the West Bank, and you know this is all
happening while Palestinian people are starving. So yes, that's the first bit of terrible shitty news. The next one, oh yes to yours, Jack. I saw you writing this point too, because last week there was this other thing the ultras in terms of like soccer hooligans that support Maccabee Tel Aviv.
They were in Amsterdam for a soccer match.
These people were singing, you know, just racist chance talking about like the death of Palestinian people very flippantly. They were like assaulting people, tearing down Palestinian flags around the city. When people responded to that, and in turn they became sort of like, you know, like people throwing punches and shit.
We then immediately saw this the media apparatus go into there are like pograms happening in Amsterdam as we speak, completely removing the fucking context of what was happening, and you saw, you saw mainstream outlet after mainstream outlet just completely parroting this total misinformation.
It was the day, a day or two after the election results, and yeah.
Yeah, they were seen in froday.
Yeah, it's amazing how much the mainstream media has managed to completely ignore the any poss ability that the dampened turnout for the Democratic Party, the fact that they performed worse with young voters than they have in their memory. Yeah, than maybe ever that those things could possibly be connected to the genocide that they're not allowed to talk about, and so they're trying to manufacture something to make it so they don't have to talk about that. So yeah,
that story was pretty wild. Yeah, and yeah, by the way, Biden awesome, Look, you know he's just what do you mean, we're soft on it, We're not pushing back on Israel, We're going to do this thing, not doing it. And then he was he issued a statement about the you know, soccer hooligan rampage where horrible things were said on both sides, but that was not how it got reported.
No, No, it was purely like these people were just there for a soccer game and then they got rolled up in the streets for what Yes, without mentioning that we're attacking like taxi drivers and things like that.
So anyway, the other here we go, more fucked up news.
Right, so that a pad from the right. That was one pad from the right. Here's another pad from the far right. Our fk has been tapped to head Health in Human Services. Okay, there it is.
It happened. It happened. We were smart enough to know how bad that I can get. Let's not let's not be too focused on that. We get it, we get it. Fucking yikes.
I mean, we will be focused on it. It's I it's so bad, but I I don't.
Know, Brad, I lost four words.
I mean, here's the thing, right, appointment after appointment coming from the Trump administration two point zero has been fucking just mind blowingly bad. But that's also the point. It's a big fuck you to everyone in every way.
So it's like, oh, you like.
Science, guess who's running Health in Human Service services? Mister fucking brainworms Mike whale fuck is now going to be the czar of vaccines and firing people from the National Institute of Health. You have a sexual predator who's under an ethics investigation because of his penchant for trafficking minors, is in the top cop spot.
As Attorney General.
And Matt Gates, and you know, you have someone who people are like like, is this person a Russian asset? Is now heading up intelligence and DNA wat.
Yeah, it's again.
Everything is like fuck whatever you are, whatever you thought was gonna happen, it's not this again. I think it's just important to note that these people are not in the jobs because they have some kind of experience or vision for these departments. All of the policies have been predetermined by the Heritage Foundation at all, and the other people who are like the real sort of influencers within Trump's orbit that are talked about or not talked about enough.
So these are basically gonna be These people are just merely the faces of the cruel policy we're going to see. They don't need experience, because that's not the point. These people are political of admits, you know how like when you pick up something hot, you don't necessarily need an ove admit. You're like, well that's not an ovenmit. That's not good for the job. It's like, well, it's a towel. That's preventing my hand being burned, and that's all it needs to be.
Although sometimes I pick up the wrong towel and then we're in trouble and then all the.
Cookies get dropped.
Oh, don't wake like a wet one, because that that would transfer the heat much quicker.
I did learn that very quickly.
As aybe a too thin one. Oh okay, maybe a t shirt, a tissue, yeah right, a paper towel. Producer victors that.
And like, again, a lot of people are like, well, good luck confirming these people. Now, there are some people who think that, oh, this is this is Trump's way. He's going to humiliate Matt Gates because Matt Gates again he resigned immediately to avoid an ethics investigation from fully you know, showing their findings.
They can still release a report.
But some people are like, oh, he's setting this up so he can get totally you know, and interrogated during his confirmation hearing about the things that he's done. I don't think I don't necessarily think that's going to happen. There's a lot of talk from the GOP, especially senators, who are like, I'm shocked by some of these picks. Miss me with all this shit. This is the same playbook from twenty seventeen, when people like Susan Collins are like,
I'm alarmed at this decision, but I will vote for it. Yeah, And you know you're hearing stuff like Tommy Tuberville's already threatening other senators like if you don't get in line and support Trump's picks, then it's going to be trouble for you, and maybe you'll be out. And again there's also talk too about recess confirmation or recess appointments. That's really wonky talk for normally, obviously, the Senate is the
body that confirms judges and cabinet appointees. Now, if they think that some of these people are beyond the pale and can't get the votes they need to actually get to be confirmed, then Trump can basically adjourn the Senate on his own and completely circumvent, you know, their sort of constitutional oversight power to push his own nominees through.
So, but that would get called fascist by the mainstream media.
Miles, yeah it would, or I don't know, or they'd say it's unprecedented.
I don't know, Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe it just unprecedented.
So Yeah, anyway, brace yourself.
I'm sure more wacky wacky picks are going to be out there. The one thing you know, I'm I try and remind myself is is, like, the huge thing about authoritarians is they have to project a ton of power and have people as scared as possible, and.
These picks do that.
But I but we I'm just prepared to steal yourselves, as they say, steal yourselves.
Yeah, it's for what's to come.
Yeah, it feels like he's high on his own supply. He's like, people told me not to do certain things during my campaign, and I did them and I won, and therefore everything I say from here on out is going to be the right call.
And that's the most you can pray for.
Like without actual, you know, full on organizing massive demonstrations or something like that, is that his ego completely gets in the way.
But whatever. That's also magical thinking at this point.
Yeah, on the democratic side, I've just seen more frustrating bullshit.
Like one of the narratives I'm hearing is this was I mean, we talked about the pod save guys being like this was like a inevitability because of the backlash to inflation that followed COVID And actually the one added detail that I'm starting to see now is actually they did like really good compared to like what you would expect from Internet, like other cases of incumbents, like incumbents got wiped out around the country, like the nations too great, yeah,
other and yeah sorry in other nations, and it I don't know. I'm just trying to like get my head around what a successful realignment of the Democratic Party is going to look like, because it is not going to look like the New York Times, like the mainstream media all of a sudden being like we were wrong, the Democratic didn't have establishment, being like we were wrong and changing.
It's going to look like, you know, somebody having the right set of beliefs and strategy, the New York Times and the DNC making fun of them, and then that person suddenly performing better than anybody expected in the primaries, or you know, whenever it happens, like they are going to reject good ideas and like ideas for you know, changing the direction of the mainstream party and the mainstream media like a peanut allergy.
Yeah, as the DNC will no doubt reject any idea or form of thinking that would hold themselves accountable. I think voters also have to be just as set fast and rejecting whatever the Democrat Party is going to offer.
Yeah, it was wokeism.
Yeah.
And from that schism, whether it creates more room for a third party to get more votes that they have to actually sort of listen to, you know, progressive ideas. Who knows, but I think that the first step is like, I'm sorry you are you the aren't? Aren't you the guy in the hot dog suit that crashed the car the hot dog car in here.
It's amazing that they're successfully like not talking about the electoral implications of like their stance towards student protesters and the genocide and Gaza uh when they got a lower portion of the youth vote than it. Like that, it's just like such an obvious story. Their ability to ignore it is actually, like that's all you need to know about how well and stream media operates.
Because again they're they're firefighters who can't use or talk about water. They are actually they're barred from doing enough enough enough.
We got to talk about the fuckable Snowman movie. Where we'll take a quick break and we'll be right.
Back, Fuckable Snowman.
Fuckable Snowman, and we're back, Yes, fugable Snowman. Won't you save me? And this is what I'm talking about, Like it's gonna at first it's gonna look a little silly, but then and people, maybe the mainstream Democratic Party is gonna make fun of them, but the fuckable Snowman is here to save us.
I've lost my mindstract him got hot Frosty.
Catch you see you got a carrot instead of a pep U?
I should I give you U?
T I man care?
Well, all right, dirty den, I'm gonna ask, all right, just making they come out of the ground.
Ye okay, all right. This is not an experiential thing or this isn't like an anecdote.
From from sticking a carrot in my p Yeah, parachute, what has this show?
It doesn't matter. Like honestly, this is when we're at our best.
This is in full on just delirium. Yeah, I've been.
I think you were out when we were talking about miss Frosty. I think it was Polavi maybe and I were hosting that day.
But yeah, look I love a holiday movie. I love a terrible holiday movie. Add horny to that.
And you've got two of three because this one's apparently good.
The review Hot Frosty review Lacy Chabert.
Shae Bear, Yeah, Sha Bear Lacy Sha Beart trades fruitcake for beefcake and Netflix's heartwarming holiday romp.
Is that a good review? I don't know.
That's like a description, right, you know, It's like, Frosty might look like fun, festive fluff, but it deals with a complex female fantasy.
Stylist dot co dot uk.
Where I go for all my thank you stylist.
Hot Frosty is good for your mental health, says me from Nashville. I like that headline, but yeah, apparently it succeeds on its own goofy terms and even deals with a complex female fantasy. I just watched the trailer. I was behind the times, and so this explains a lot for anybody who was like, why does Jack seem like different? Why is he so on board with the Seltzer poll. It's because I hadn't seen the Hot Frosty movie trailer
and I was just like out of touch with the zeitgeist. Yeah, but yeah, one of the reviews so far not enough to get an official Rotten Tomato score because there's only eight and forty or needed for a streaming movie to get a score posted, but one percent of the reviews so far are fresh are positive. Yeah, I don't know what, Like I watched the trailer. First of all, no surprise to those of us who have been arguing that Christmas, the Christmas holiday are actually about sex. It's it is, uh,
factually humanity's mating season. The number one season for birthdays is early September, which comes, you know, nine months after were the holiday season. All those weird, old, horny alcoholic anthems of the forties, you know, they're a little outdated and do to be replaced by more and hornier Christmas content.
Yeah, with with consenting horniness.
Yeah, yeah, the ones it's like, hey, I've always in your drink.
Hey, where the fuck are you going?
Where the fuck do you think you're going to it?
Yeah, it's uh, yeah, we need we need new traditions. So I think it's a good way to completely demphasize the religious aspect of it and just make this be like it's kind of this is the new this is the new Valentine's Day.
Actually yeah, yeah, Like I I honestly and this is a take fueled by the fact that I watch Love Actually and I'm like, I don't know, like what, I must be different, different species from people who like But I think my theory is that it is driven by people just being like, ah, finally a horny movie about Christmas that's like mainstream. I know they didn't invent it, but I feel like they made Christmas to chaste and like family values, and the one family value it's about is fucking guess what.
You can't have a family. You can't spell family without fucking well, you can't have a Look, I'm work shopping it. I'm working, I'm work shopping it.
Anyways, I feel like we're about to see this trend go crazy. I will say this appears to be one of my favorite genres of movie to talk about that's always seemed slightly weird to me, which is everybody wants to fuck the person with the mind of a child. Big was a seven for me, Like, literally, it's just the body of an adul brain of a child. Yeah, obviously you know mannequin hell?
Who could forget mannequin?
Yeah?
Who can?
And who can forget? Uh? And this is another one where it's just like this person's a real that the only options are either they just came to life via magic the other day, or traumatic brain injury.
Right, yeah, fair, fair, shit the last one you.
Want to I mean, we we've we've had this kind of on the on the back burner.
It's worth talking about, just because at least for me personally. Look, there's a there's a study out this on CNN. Apparently you shouldn't be on your phone on the toilet because they say don't be on the toilet for more than ten minutes.
More than How the fuck do I get a break? Okay, my baby he knows how to open doors.
Now I have to like it's why yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I think people with young kids know.
It's like sometimes that's my Dad's.
Not even on the toilet, he's just crouching in here.
He's hiding by the shower curtain looking at Reddit or some shit. But yeah, apparently they're saying for like, again, this is according to the CNN study.
I look, I've been sitting on I've done twenty minute solos on the toilet. Thirty minutes solos, okay sometimes and I got the squatty body, but hey, sometimes I just get I get.
Distracted, they say, Quote, first, here's a short physics lesson. Gravity keeps us grounded on Earth. But the same gravity also forces the body to work harder to pump blood back up to the heart. The open, oval shaped toilet seat compresses the buttocks, keeping the rectum in a lower position than if you were sitting on the couch, with gravity pulling the lower half of the body down. The
increased pressure affects your blood circulation. It becomes a one way value where blood enters, but blood really can't go back. As a result, the veins and blood vessel surrounding the anus and lower rectum become enlarged and engorged with blood, increasing the risk of hemorrhoids.
Okay, one thing, I'll say that, CNN. You haven't seen me sit on the couch. Okay, so you just get my ass all the way down.
And all the way it's on the ground.
Somehow I'm negating the cushion really with my posture.
I mean, I think, have you I mean, are you along? Do you? Are you quick? Quick? I used to be longer. I've I've sped my.
Sh speed up, that's for sure. I don't have that used to be a luxury. The one thing I I do realize is like, yeah, when I have my phone, it goes longer. I feel like I should we should just bring back the magazine rack by the toilet, you know, and just read the same the.
It's just it is one of the just great, unstated, like disgusting things about our modern world. I also think it's interesting that they're like, yeah, so you know how you we all carry a device around in our hand that just like makes time disappear, just like turns us into like junkies who have just tied off. Don't do that on the toilet. That's bad for your health.
It's yeah, you might get hemorrhoids.
People are also driving with that thing. Like it's really maybe the problem is the you know, dopamine delivery device that we're all as.
By his studies Jack.
Then I feel like our personal attack on me and the other people like to look at their iPad on the toilet, you know what I mean?
But I do asshole is going to be disgusting.
All the do you guys remember like the magazine rack like how or like you would have a loose I remember we had like when I was a kid, there would be like we had a scale like near the right, near the toilet, but that was basically where we would stack up all the magazines because no one was using the scale, and I would basically read like the same issue of Sports Illustrated that had like the Cincinnati Reds owner Marge Shot on the cover.
Like for years and just be like, I don't know, maybe something's changed in here.
Yeah, it was like that was a weird swimsuit issue, the Marge Shot edition.
It was.
It was so you didn't study Moore and after Uh.
No, no, I've always thought about that. It's never ended up doing it.
Okay, that's not It's not as big a difference as you would think. Yeah, right, right, right, I'm maxed out at twenty five pounds.
What's your max? Oh? On bench? No, sorry, something different?
Yeah, jeez, all right, that's a good, good place to today. We are back tomorrow with the whole last episode of the show. Until that time, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves. Get the vaccine, get your flu shots, especially especially now more than ever folks get your vaccines.
Get them while they got them, get them while they're hot. How is he really going to go toe to toe a big pharma.
Yeah, that is one like this is the horrible thing about the Trump administration is that it always makes me root for the worst. A C I A come on, peiser, Come on, piser, do I come on?
Come on?
FBI am rooting for If you're really doing the ship that they talked about in the Fugitive.
You'd be right now, you know what I mean?
Where's the one armed man? Fiser?
It wasn't me.
Be kind to each other, be kind of yourself, get the vaccine. You don't do nothing about white and policy. And we will talk to y'all tomorrow.
Bye bye