Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of existrensial crisis. That's courtesy of Maniche all right on the discord in reference to Barbie. I guess probably generally everybody going through an existential crisis these days.
On sign of Jack that is Miles, Yeah, thank you.
Dang computer lag is I muted instead of turning video off. Uh, dank computer lag is. Give me an existrential crisis. I'll tell you, tell you what, and I'm good with technology. Miles. How are you doing?
Oh, I'm great, I'm great.
Just just blew me away with the a rendition of cash and cash out the twenty one Savage verse.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, but.
Only only the ad list.
You got to just do the ad libs because when you hear how many times he says twenty one in succession, it's impressive. That's why you he says one. I was well on twenty one. It's just bless him, bless him. One of our greatest, one of the greatest British art.
Sports. Yeah, British exports, remember that.
Remember he got deported for a little bit and then everyone had almost twenty one Savage being a brit meme.
It was just really important sports.
Just actual terrible immigration laws is what that story was about.
Yeah, all right, should we tell the people some things that are trending.
To Yeah, the Rock, it's a rock.
Themed episode on The Rock. Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Uh just made a historic donation to help striking actors who aren't Dwayne the Rock Johnson just gave a seven figure donation to the SAGA After Foundation Relief Fund, which provides emergency assistance to union members during strike action. It's a fund that you can donate too. Yeah, it's definitely worthwhile to help the.
I mean, at this point, why don't we why don't we let the Rocks and the you know, top three, top two percent of actors, you know, give back a little bit. I think I think I think they got a good group right there, fertile group to start opening their pocket books there. But yeah, they say like it's gonna be like it's gonna benefit tens of thousands of actors and union members. Uh when because all that money
just went in there, So okay the Rock figure. Yeah, I mean good to see that, because that's truly when you hear the cynicism of the networks and saying shit, although they deny. They're saying it in that way about being like no, just do it till they literally can't handle it anymore financially and then we'll be fine.
That.
Yeah, those kinds of funds that support striking union members are very important and also just generally for all the other people who are tangentially connected to too, like production like ye aren't in unions, who are also not fucking working, like costumers or makeup artists or crew and things like that. Those are the funds I think that also, you know,
could could use some support too. But I think just like anything, man, we're dealing with a lot of workers coming, you know, you just stepping up to figure out how they're going.
To get what they're owed. So could to see the rock be on the right side of that.
Rather Fast X money around, by the way, Fast which I remember we talked about how it was it didn't live up to the domestic box office, but it's I think still like all the reports about you know, how well Barbie did over the weekend internationally, Fast X like was massive, was like one of the biggest movies, yeah, worldwide.
That is wild to think that it did better than Fast X. Yeah. Yeah, Okay, good for you, Barbs.
I feel like, speaking of not not to shoehorn everything into Barbie, but with Ryan Gosling's triumphant turn as Ken, I feel like, you know, and and the rock pulling this, I feel like the Himbos are having a real moment right now, you know.
Finally beef Steak, you know, for the people, for beef Steak for the people, my favorite album. We have.
A list of the ten US places with the shortest average marriages, and Texas is number three. I don't know why that that feels fun to uh throw in the face of Texas.
Wow. Number one is d C.
DC's only ten and a half years.
Wow yeah wait so wait wait with the shortest So DC's a ten and a half your marriage Alaska sixteen.
Sixteen, Texas is seventeen. That's a big leap. Something's going on in DC?
Yeah, what the fuck's going on in DC? Is it? Like?
Because part of you was thinking, like, oh, are like sort of short marriages? Like is it because like sometimes you have people who get married for financial reasons, like if there's like a military base nearby or something like that, but.
Not something something with taxes. I don't know, but yeah, Texas number three. Uh, California. I was expecting California to show up there, not even in the top ten. It's not in here. Yeah, California is in it for the long haul. Nevada in Oklahoma at seven, Utah would not have expected, but it's it's in the top ten.
Hey, divorce is allowed, you know, it happens, it does it does?
I mean I wonder how much you know, I feel like because the divorce rates aren't they're going down, aren't they?
In the Yeah?
I think they have been actually because people are just less likely to rush into marriage, So that it makes sense that a place like Texas or like a you know, stereotypically conservative place would have it because it's the place that most people are more more likely to rush into marriage than they.
What's that median age? So in.
Whoa, that's fucking wild too, Okay, So median age of first marriage in DC is thirty one point ninety five, Ascar's twenty eight, Texas is twenty eight, of Nevada thirty and a half, Utah twenty five point eight, Colorado twenty nine point five.
So a lot of I don't know, I don't know what to make of this. Folks.
But I have a feeling that, just like myself, I put our marriage off for a long time because watching my parents' shitty marriage unfold before my eyes. I had a front row seats to the Lake Show for that one. Wasn't fucking with it. So it's like, nah, not like this at all. The Jack Nicholson of divorce, you know, yeah, the really speak. Yeah, that's why Jack Quickle was an impresions. Yeah, exactly, raising your eyebrows every once in a while. French's mustard
skittles are a thing. Jacks on your twenty twenty three bingo card.
Mainly, I want to talk about this because the headline for the Today Show, so the Today Show media in turn, congratulations on being the last person to be reached by the That wasn't on my twenty twenty one bingo card. Yeah, meme, and think it's still still cool because that is the headline. Frenches Mustard skittles are not was not on our twenty twenty three bingo card. But here we are, so just like a nice throwback, you know.
Yeah, I mean I love it.
You know, I wonder if I wonder if the intern was trying to say, no, don't do that.
That is the most washed fucking saying on the internet right now. Just don't. And then some older head was like, no, I just heard that yesterday. I think it's really funny.
It's like, could you imagine if you did if you had bingo cards for the random things you thought would happen in a year.
That just get you thinking.
So Matt Lower's former producer who got busted down to just controlling the website.
Yeah exactly, Yeah, but I mean, what do you must smack it so fresh?
Are you? I'm not put off by this, actually, I'm.
Oh, I just like one of the first time. I'm like, go on, because I like mustard. I'm kind of weird. I fuck with my I was a little concerned. I'm a little twisted, Okay.
I was a little concerned because the bag does have a rainbow on it, so I thought it was going to be mustard skittles mixed in with the all the flavors of the rainbow. But it does appear that it's just just mustard skittles in there, so right, you're safe to dump them on top of your hot dog, which is the other thing that they released.
Have a little tang to it.
But yeah, I don't know, that's like it.
It's just weird.
Normally, like when I hear candy be like savory food flavor type things, I'm like immediately know, but party me. I think yesterday I accidentally put a ton of mustard on a bite of food I was eating, and I was like, oh, this is going to be ruined, and I just I just ate it and I was like, you know what, that wasn't too bad.
No, I have an open mind with the skittles.
Now, I've been known to put an extra dollup of mustard on a like half eaten hot dog, you know, on the on the bite part, just to get it a little spiced up. Okay, Miles, Yeah, I am a little fucked up. I'm a little sick in the head.
Go ahead, listeners, call CPS on me, But I'm not going to stop eating mustard like this.
Anyways. Let's take a quick break and we're going to come back and talk about another rock story. We'll be right back. Hell yeah, and we're back. And Trader Joe's has issued a recall on cookies that may contain rocks. And this is one of those recalls that just ruins all cookies for me. I won't I won't be eating How are we getting rock in the cookies? I mean rocks?
So I in the past year, you know, in doing some homemade split pea soup, was made aware of the problem of rocks and split peas little pebbles and split peas, like during the sorting process. Sure they're just incapable of like there's just like, yeah, we've given up on this. There's probably some rocks in your split peas. So when you're watching them, just like look for any of them that wiggle differently or look like rocks, because they probably
are lentils. Recently, Yeah, lentils similar problem. Apparently super producer Brian has experienced rocks and potatoes and yeah, like bit into a potato and had a chipped muller because of it.
And that's and that's not him just lying again, I know.
So I fact checked it because I was like, we have to have the conversation again with Brian about lying about all the ways that the chip is.
We think you're cool even if you didn't chip your tooth on a potato.
Do we still think you're cool?
But yeah, there there's actually a Wisconsin University Wisconsin dot Edu paper by you Guessed It, Jeb B Qualquahouan and Larry K. Binning about embedded stones being found sporadically in the flesh of chipping potatoes wow, and not being effectively removed, and the whole paper is like, how the fuck did those get there?
Right?
Growers and processors have suggested maybe the potatoes grew around them. Maybe the stones were pressed into the potatoes while being harvested, loaded, unloaded, or even by the pressure placed on the tubers while being transported.
Or maybe they're being put there by Joe Biden.
Yes, thank you, I'd like to see.
But yeah, I guess.
The things that are almond windmill cookies and dark chocolate chunk almond cookies.
How the fuck again? You get fucking rocks in there? That would really upset me?
Like a cookie, you you feel like you're safe from rocks.
When eating a cookie, you know what I mean?
And I wore other vegetables, but fucking cookies, motherfucker.
Sometimes there will be a nut in there that's a little too hard. I don't like. I don't really fuck with nuts and cookies.
No, I don't like this. And oh see, okay, Brian just said in the chat, this is where we agree. Cookies are my safe. I feel safe when you eat a cookie that should be drama, drama free indulging. You know, I don't need to think about if I'm eating a fucking geode or some ship.
I'm just trying to eat a nice chocolate chip cookie or some ship.
Come on, you do you like nuts? Do you like a walnut in your cookie?
Uh? Hm?
For me, that's some ship. I don't like.
No the hip hop fifty yesterday.
Hey man, you know it's still it's still, you.
Know, the one type.
So I'll I'm usually not because I think back to like childhood where my grandmother only made like fucking like cookies with nuts and shit.
And it felt like to adult for me.
Love a macadamia nut, like a white chocolate macadamia cookie.
I'll eat that shit all day.
But and I like walnuts, not that I dislike them, I just I guess in cookies, I like to go back to child mode and I just wanted to be simple, sugar sweet, that's it.
I'm baby.
Yeah.
I don't like any any sort of nuts, even like peanut butter cookies. I don't like it to be the crunchy peanut butter. I want them to be soft and smooth.
Yeah, yeah, I just want the cookie flavor to be peanut with like those nondescript like Manila envelope colored chips that are in them. I'm presuming our peanut butter, yeah whatever, we call them.
Not peanut butter chip your tooth, you know what I'm saying. Thank you?
Hold that ol Trader Joe's.
And then in China we also learned of a dish, a rock based dish, literally the world's artist dish.
Just the hardest dish you could eat, homie. But yes, I saw this on I saw I saw this on TikTok with the kids.
Yeah. The sturf fried stones.
A traditional stur fry featuring stones.
Yeah. Yeah.
It just reminds me of like when you're a kid and there's like a little bit of flavor left on something that isn't edible and you just put that shit in your mouth to get the last bit of the flavor off.
And I always bring this up, like the little paper on the on the.
Cut off, Yeah, the cupcake paper chewing that yeah, oh yeah, scrape that ship, the scrapings of a cupcake paper.
Do your kids say that some of the most delicious, Oh yeah, you to them. Or they just just scrape it off your teeth, yeah that, or scrape it off with your teeth, not off your teeth exactly.
Or you get the little bit of cheese from a cheeseburger on the paper when you unwrap the cheeseburger and you like, I'm having that. I'm having that. I'm not leaving that. That's money on the table. So trust me, you're coming with me.
We got more reports from people who have worked for Steven Crowder who say he's uh, not that cool, say he exposed himself to them and swapped drugs regularly in the office.
Yeah, the drug swapping sounds like he's like, yo, he was taking edibles, percosets, other prescription pills that he would get from the staffers and they will like trade. But then also had a quote habit quote had a habit of passing out prescription drugs fairly freely cool. So he's just trying to be cool man as he makes am you know, tries to make sense of the chaos of his soul as he can hear it rot in real time from inside his own skull.
So I get that.
And then the other thing was the exposing, Like they said one time he did it like he had his balls out or some shit for a quote unquote comedy sketch. Also then would also send like fucking weird text messages with like crude either memes or pictures of his dick.
I guess no, he sounds he sounds cool, like yeah, fun time.
There's a quote they said.
Two other staff members said Crowder exposed himself to male staffers as a quote regular occurrence quote.
It usually happened when he was in a really good sort of manic mood. So while we were all disgusted by it, it was never welcomed.
It was preferable to him being in a bad mood and how he treated people that taste Holy shit, God, I hope.
I hope Steven's in one of the moods where he exposes himself to us today, Like that's that's the best.
Please be in manic scroat show mode. Yeah then agro scream at me mode. But yeah, uh well, I mean just from that one clip we saw him talking to his pregnant wife, Jesus Christ.
So do you need to know anything more about this person? That would be surprising.
Yeah, and then also in the category of abusive people who don't seem that fun to work with, Elon Musk just you know. So, it was reported this morning that Lebron James's son, Brownie James, suffered at cardiac ress during basketball practice at the University of Southern California. He's now out of the ICU and in stable condition, but truly, you know, just horrifying, so scary for him and his family.
And for some reason this prompted Elon Musk's brain to conclude that he should weigh in on this issue, obviously as the foremost doctor xing, I guess are we calling it that, tweeting to his millions of followers that this was probably because he's like, how could I turn this moment of like, you know, tragedy for a family into a moment of just like you know, genuinely damaging misinformation
for the populace. So he tweeted that it was probably because of the COVID vaccine because myocarditis is a known side effect.
Okay, do you know about COVID though, because that's the real like it's like eleven times greater for adults.
Yeah, Risco carditis and young men was seven times higher after a covid in infection than after vaccination.
But again, this is all because the suddenly dyed crowd. Yes, UH needs to have this guy because it also, you know, it's wild. I didn't mention this. That game I went to on Sunday at the Rose Bowl. This guy, Shaka Hislop, who is one of the like sort of like touchline reporters. He was doing a pregame like sort of intro to
the game. He fucking passed out in the broadcast and like, I was hot as shit inhumid and I'd imagine I don't know if he was wearing a wool suit, like pardon me, could see like he just was heat exhaustion. But whatever happened, dude, the fucking anti vax crowd hopped on that shit almost immediately immediately the vaccinated, Like, yeah, people passing out on camera, it's always the vaccine, and even even even before.
The vaccine, it was the vaccine.
Also, cardiacress is the leading cause of death and young athletes, like this is a thing that unfortunately isn't isn't that uncommon? But of course yeah, they're they're just ready to politicize it as soon as something happens, and their dear leader is you know, he's like, I got you guys.
Remember Reggie Lewis died on the court.
Yeah, and that was definitely the vaccine though that one all right, well, unfortunately, those are some things that are trending on this Tuesday afternoon. We are back tomorrow with a whole last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to you all tomorrow.
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