Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Don't Vandalize the Satanic trend pull m My name's Jack, that is Miles. These are some of the things that are trending on this Wednesday, January thirty. First, we're almost out of the fucking January. Bro, you hate January? No, I don't know. It just seemed long to me.
Yeah, it's just like it just feels like when you want it feel I guess it is like the Monday of months. Yeah, you know, for sure, it's like yeah, fine, I mean, you know, some good, good, cool shit happens in January. But like also it also is like the it is the Monday of months, or it's.
Like welcome back. I feel like people like generally started work right after New Year's this year, and like like our kids' school in years past had like started like six or seven days into January, and this year was like the third you're back to school, So it just felt long, yeah to me. Yeah, you know what's making it feel a little bit shorter these new Oreo space
Dunk cookies. Miles Gray no promo. So there is this article that I was highly suspicious of in something called the Daily Meal Dot com and it was the headline was we tried Oreo Space Dunk cookies and they're out of this world. Yeah. I was the thing get out of here with that ship. But you know, I do enjoy a Oreo variant, especially one that others describe as too sweet. I'm like, and that is my sweet spot. Yes.
Uh so the first paragraphs of this review lead me down the path of Okay, so we are the Internet is now just like a corporate like they don't reprint corporate pr statements. So this opens in the world of chocolate sandwich cookies. In twenty twenty four, a new flavor, Space Dunk will boldly go where no Oreo has gone before. This limited edition Oreo flavor also has an out of this world look and proceeds thusly with a neon pink
and blue cosmic cream interior. And then they say laced with popping candies and I don't know what that means.
Yeah, but I mean it's pop rocks due pop rocks.
Yeah, So that's once you get to that part of the review. I'm in. You pulled me back in, they say, taking a full bite of the cookie, the exterior tastes like any old Oreo and the inside like super sweet cotton candy. Icing with each munch also comes a surprisingly light pop rocks like crunch. Yeah, and I mean that all my My question every time with an Oreo variant, what that cream do? Yeah, Like, what are we looking at?
You?
I want to know what that cream do because I'm looking at another the takeout our beloved, the takeout foods, even theirs.
I was like, is.
Everybody fucking all in on this?
Like Oreos space dunk fucking syop, but there's space dunk. Oreos are interstellar fun and there's is you know, Like I mean, I'm I don't know how much Promos evolved here, but like they have a very interesting thing too. They talk about the marshmallow and they say, my first bite confirmed the marshmallow notes, which I've always thought tasted pleasant, even mildly artificial berry ish. It's more like a Lucky
Charms marshmallow flavor than a jet puff one. I'm in mm hmmm, Lucky Charms marshmallow that is the That is the height of marshmallow flavor of my book. Yeah, it's just whatever it is about it, you know what I mean, It's more the flavor it's not really the texture, but I really like the flavor of the marshal whatever the fuck we even want to call those lucky charms marshmallows, so that and they're saying shout out to the fucking pop rocks too, just a little.
Marshmallows always reminded me of like astronaut marshmallow like because they're like so fried out. Yeah, like marshmallows from the future when we don't have water.
Rehydrate them with your spit.
Yeah, and there's a hole in it so you can see the like Miami vice icing a little bit better. Is like they it's their first Oreo with a hole in it. I don't know this is this is the first one that like kind of captured me attention. You know who.
We got to ask producer Victor, Super producer Victor.
I know you.
You go out of your way to get Oreo variants, and I know this one.
I think it's like limited time it goes on so to day. Are you are you fucking with these? He says, I will damn it.
Emphatically in the chat. I will, yeah, okay, but.
I hate we got Look the cotton candy is from the bad article.
We don't know, oh, he said, So I'm not excited because I hate cotton candy.
Okay. In other more serious news, psych we're just gonna keep doing dumb bullshit Elmo vers Big Bird. The debate rages on. A few people hit us up on team big Bird would claw almost thrown out. This continues to make sense to me. I feel like when we when we compare the two creatures, Big bird was designed in the shop of natural selection, like his being a bird implies millions of years of murderous like survival of the fittest guess and check that propelled him to still exist
at this poet. I'm just saying, like anything that is an animal like there is the implication that it survived the food chain somehow, so like, don't fuck with it like it's and it's especially at that size, like there, it's got some hidden powers that uh, you know, we're we're not seeing when it's like, you know, doing a fun roll bounce roller skating routine. But right, I don't know, So where are you at with them?
I mean, I'm I still feel in my heart of hearts that it's a big bird world, you know what I mean?
Yeah, And Elmo will get stomped the fuck out without question.
I mean even the stomping power, I believe, like fuck the claws, you know, a ripping the throat. I feel like Elmo will get mushed under those feet. But I dug a little deeper, and there are things that I'm I'm now that I'm wobbling a bit.
Well, guess what that is. Victors are argument, by the way, so too top heavy. Bit. Flip that motherfucker over?
Yeah, how's you gonna get up with them weird ass arms? He can't he looking like Josh Brolin with feathers.
What if you knocked him over and he just like jumped like you know how karate people could like jump from their back like that. Oh, the people fuck out of me. Karate people.
Jack, We're called Japanese Americans. Okay, I really appreciate you.
Stop doing that shit called a sushi gang earlier.
But the thing I found out about Elmo, He's categorized as a fucking monster.
Okay, that's a good point.
That's something I have to put a couple of stones on that side of the scale. Knowing that Elmo is not something cuddled. They're like this motherfucker a monster. Yeah, so I'm like, okay, I'm willing to give that. Another thing I saw was a conspiracy theory that big Bird is actually what.
An extinct bird called the moa.
And they point to this because he interacts a lot with like in one of the movies, he was adopted by a family of dodos famously.
Oh so he's just on the precipice. He's just in some kind of mammoth. That motherfucker.
Extremely he's extinct too, and what is he like surviving out here all that time? The other part is, let's be real, this motherfucker is eight foot five. Yeah, that's also fucking freaky. So I feel like eight foot five, the eight foot five with those thighs because I looked at the skeletal structure.
Of a moa.
Dude, these femurs are fucking They're grotesque. They're like oil drums, that's how thick these femur bones are, so like, imagine the musculature around that. You're getting fucking stumped to bits Almo, even though you're a monster. I'm still I think I'm coming around to that. The fact that this guy survived, he's the last of his kind.
Yeah, I don't that's yeah, that's right, even though he also eyes facing forward implies predation, you know, in the design shop of natural selection. Your eyes are facing forward because you're a killer. You're not worried about what's coming from behind. You're you're just out there on the proud.
But doesn't that also put some stock into Elmo? This fucking this motherfucker's eyes couldn't be more in front.
Yeah, his eyes are touching.
Yeah, and they have like I think he has no peripheral vision because he's like, yeah, Elmo.
They don't, man, yeh fucking if you touch me on you did. I don't know why he turned to Mike Tyson suddenly, but anyway, that's.
There's something I don't know. So the debate rages on.
The debate rages on. Yeah, and that is all right. Those are the two important stories of the day. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be back to talk about things that are news elsewhere, not just on this podcast. We'll be right back, and we're back. We're back, and Miles, the word Satanism is trending right now. Social media show spawned thanks to a new development and a
story involving Christmas decorations in Iowa State House. So last December, the government building was home to the Satanic Temple's festive statue of the goat headed Baffomet after the group, the Satanic Temple simply filled out the same application as anybody who wanted to put up a Nativity scene and put up a so it featured a rams head covered with mirrors on a mannequin cloaked and red clothing. Lucian Greeves, co founder of the Satanic Temple, says his Satanic display
as the symbol of their right to religious freedom. I got to give a shout out to Lucian Greeves being you know that is the Slytherin ass name. Like well well done all around by the Parentscian A Lucian or Lucian either way, it's like that motherfucker. Like at five years old, they were like, and he's going to be part of the Satanic Temple like that. Do you know any kid's named Lucian.
I don't I feel like I heard that name reason.
I was like, Yo, that's just fucking all right kind of goes. I like Lucian, especially if you're going to like do some ill shit like put a Baphomet up in like next to the activity scene.
I like to I like to class up Baha Met and pronounce it like Timothy Baffo. May you know the tea is an invitation to class it up a bit. So he shut out Baame Baffo.
Man. So the Satanic Temple puts up their own monuments and government buildings all the time, has a counterpoint to Christian ones. And it's kind of like a lot of the time when I hear people from the Church of Satan or the Satanic Temples talk, they're they're kind of making sense more than the knee jerk reaction might lead you to believe. Uh So they're calling attention to the loophole in the First Amendment that allows for religious displays
despite the no Establishment of Religion clause. So basically, the Supreme Court created a loophole in the First Amendment to allow religious displays by arguing that as long as every group gets to have one, it doesn't violate the no Establishment of religion. Cause yeah, yeah, got their ass. They're like truly just being like, yeah, it's no problem, right.
I love how they put up their baphome and this fucking their fuck this fucking state represented some weird dude who had a failed congressional campaign just fucking ripped it down.
And now what are we looking at here?
What kind of charges? Uh So at first it was fourth degree criminal mischief, which makes them sound like a real scamp. But now they got bumped up to hate crime charges, which that's uh, I mean kind of is what it.
Is, right, Wait to keep it consistent, I mean, yeah, if we're we're talking about these are these are like the freedom of religious expression, then yeah, to tear down someone else's religious expression should be considered a hate crime.
Yeah, So prosecutors Mattu ramped him up to third degree criminal mischief with a note that the crime actions were committed in violation of individual rights under Iowa's hate crime statute. So somebody's like behind the scenes doing doing the good work of being like, we gotta gotta defend these Yeah, these satanic temple people doing the doing the lord's work.
Obviously this has caused a lot of conservatives to flip their ship just all the way they're they're just like, how could you be charged with a hate crime when he was fighting hate by beating up a mannequin? It was clearly a manifestation of pure evil.
Right, pure evil that, as Brian the Editor points out that abortion is a sacred religious right.
You know, yeah, that's what the Courch of Satan per evil, per evil, pure evil.
But yeah, it's really just a foil to the Christo fascism that we're seeing just just ramp up by by every decade, just a little bit more.
Yeah, I mean, the Satanic Temple has been designated as a church by the IRS. In twenty twenty two, a guy tried to burn down a Satanic Temple building in Salem, Massachusetts. I'm literally telling police it's a hate crime. He was churched with a civil rights violation, destroying a place of worship and arson.
So I'm great, I'm doing a hate crime poth.
Hey, buddy, I'm doing a hate crime over here, because you get those blinking lights off me.
Yeah, hey, get your blink is off me. I'm trying to do a hate crime here.
Brian the Editor points out the Church of Satan and the Satanic Temple different churches with similar ideals. So in case I fucked that up, I don't get them apology. Don't get them fucked up. Yeah, you don't want to get big birded out here. Big Bird definitely an icon of the of the church. No, I'm saying they'll stomp
you out. Yeah. Yeah. Twenty seventeen, the Satanic Temple's decorative tree topper was stolen from a holiday celebration, and the police asked them if they wanted to file the incident as a hate crime, but they declined. So the cops are like, you know here.
To Satan is a kind god.
Satan is a kind god. I will say that. I will say that, all right. So, there was a drone attack in that we talked about on our I think it was the Monday Morning Trend's episode. Yeah, just to update that story, there's new reporting about how the drone was able to attack American soldiers on the Syrian border. It turns out that the drone was mistaken for an American drone that was heading back to base.
Not not great, not great.
There sounds avoidable, but unfortunately that has led you know, just thought leader Maria Bartiromo over on Fox to just to really identify the true and I'm sure it's predictable, but you kind of have to hear how quickly she like in light of this report just pivots to some culture worship.
Maria take it away.
It's the weakness that invites that aggression. Well, maybe they're focused too much on DEI. There's a concern at the FBI because they're dropping the FBI special agent requirements in the name of DEI. I'm just wondering if that has anything to do with missing an important drone that just killed three of our heroes. Congressmen, And by the way, the national security issues go way beyond just this, look at your backyard at.
The Southern Yeah, that's wild. I don't know, man, I mean, I guess not. She's a character for TV, but yeah, that's wild.
But they love that.
I mean like, I just love the logic they is like something bad happened, they got DEI.
Yeah, that's what it was.
That's what it was, man, Not gross negligence, not oversight, not being overworked, not corporate greed. It's that it's that they're trying to give marginalized people a fair shake.
Yeah, the as we talked about before that they blamed DEI initiatives at American Airlines for Boeing planes falling apart, and.
Boeing too I feel like too probably I don't know, I feel like anything that's I wonder do any police departments have DEI initiatives? Because would they would they keep it a you know, a buck if they're like seeing these cops they're doing such a terrible job.
They're hurting innocent people because the DEI stuff.
Whoa really the police too?
Whoa?
Whoa? That's just logic is so wild to me.
Like it's especially with like that un you know, the welfare organization that got their funding pulled after like Israeli intelligence was like twelve people of this like thirteen thousand member organization may have been evolved in the October seventh attacks,
and they're like defund it all. And it's like I thought the American government was such a fan of don't let a couple bad apples on the bunch, right, you know, because even if you do game that out and like it was in fact some people did infiltrate, then does is that reason to defund the entire thing?
But yea, it shows you, it turns out in this consistency and thought there Yeah, finally, Mark Zuckerberg back on Capitol Hill, testifying at a contentious Senate hearing.
There's plenty of research evidence that social media is very bad for young people, that they are just focused on making money and just drastically underfunded when it comes to making sure that their platforms are like safe places for humans to communicate and exist with one another. So, Noah Hawley, I think it was Hally. I think isn't that his first name? No Josh, Josh Josh. Yeah, so Josh Holly made him get up and apologize to the families, and
he did it and it was very uncomfortable. And then the Snapchat ceo like apologized to families because somebody bought a fentanyl pill on snap and uh so you can buy a whole lot more than them on the fucking Snapchat, right, And then, yeah, they're wildly irresponsible companies that make these people a shitload of money. But I don't know that
a public shaming is is quite enough. It seems like maybe instead of having them get up there and like stand in the stockades of you know, on scene man and be like pelted with disapproving looks from families who've like lost people, maybe we should actually like pass some legislation that requires these things to be fucking monitored and like staffed appropriately.
Yeah, it's just, uh, it was just a it was just a chance for people to win mill on Mark Zuckerberg and like I'm not defending him at all, but it's it's wild when you see all of these people just come at him from For a moment, I was like, Oh that sucks, and then you're like, wait, this fucking guy's the destroyer.
Yeah that's how hard they were going on him.
But yeah, the real question is, Okay, what kind of substantive legislation are you going to introduce, what a kind of like, what a kind of laws are you going to draft any or is this just gonna be again? So Ted Cruz can go on, He's like, did you hear when I said, what.
Were you thinking?
What the hell were you thinking?
Like it's just a.
Bunch of people grandstanding like that, And I'm like it again to your point, it's it.
God, don't make it for nothing.
Like I love seeing this guy with he did change his hair like he's getting wavy. Yeah, he's got a little because he's the Roman emperor that he like idolizes that he was doing his hair like you know with the with bringing it all to the front.
I mean call the Caesar.
Yeah, in the black fir style Justinian. Maybe I don't know. I just made that up. But I don't know who Mark Zuckerberg likes from the Roman Empire. Uh god, no, there was someone.
It's it's so specific. Augustus's.
Yeah, he's so into fucking Augustus, Like everything is about that anyway.
So and now he's like it's growing out. I guess. Look, dude, just being in Hawaii man.
Chill, laid back Zuckerberg man, exactly. Hey that that guy, that guy was sucker nerd all right, this this is Mark Man, This is your buddy. Mark. I grow my own beard to like eat my get my cattle drunk.
Grow grow my own cow to feed my beer or something, my bunko. I don't know.
Man.
Look, I'm surfing the surfing the waves.
Buddy. You're out there surfing the web, and it is my web that is killing you. I'm out here surfing waves. Brother.
Yeah, God, it's just it's fucking This is like the worst part of like, you know, Hill politics is just like the bringing out your poster boards and being like what do you have to say?
And it's like except for will you keep donating to my campaign?
And then that's right, Maybe we will do something about this, because, yeah, when you look at the face of it, and we talk about this all the time, the harm that's been done not just to younger people, but to like marginalized people, Like if the actual violence that has played out because of the lack of moderation on these platforms, like what.
That's the fucking tragedy.
Now do something other than just being like, do you see what I fucking said to him?
Dude, fucking snailed the sweat. Dude. All right, well, those are some of the things that are trending on this January thirty. First, we are back tomorrow with a whole ass episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to you all tomorrow. Bye bye,