Hello the Internet, and welcome to season three thirty one, Episode three of Dirtdilly's I guyst Day production of iHeartRadio. This is a podcast where we take a deep dive into America share consciousness. And it is Wednesday, March twenty seventh, twenty twenty four. My name is Jack O'Brien aka exercisings overrated. My body is old ass. Fuck Danna only stretching, Dannan no plunges. I don't give a fuck now. I agree with Trump. Nana no no, no, no, no, no no no, Internet.
We have limited heartbeats. That is a last resort. Poppa Roach aka from East Eager Full twelve, twenty nine. In reference to some advice I shared that I recently got from my personal trainer, Donald J. Trump, that maybe maybe exercise is bad, but once you get old, exercise hurts. And maybe we do have a limited number of heart beats.
Bro, you guys reps for muscle be careful.
Yeah, that's it. You'll only got ten reps. That's them. I got ten curls per bicep for my lifetime. That's what I've been given. Anyways, that voice you asked, that voice, that lovely voice coming all the way from party. Well, we are thrilled to be joined in our second seat by very special guest co host, talented writer, stand up comedian, advice columns podcast host. Please welcome to this show, the brilliant and talented Sophia Alexandra.
Thank you, thank you so much, so excited, thank you, thank you for having me.
I don't have any ka.
That's no problem. You're coming to us all the way from so.
Much motherfucking cheese. You are not ready.
You could I could tell by the way you the that you've just been walking through clouds of cigarette smoke for the past couple of days. And that's how you know you're doing it right.
Yeah, delicious man baguettes with cigarettes in the middle.
That's what breakfast every morning here.
Yes, well we are thrilled, Sophia, You and I are thrilled to be joined in our third seat by a very talented writer, stand up comedian, podcast host of The Bechdel Cast, taking down the patriarchy one movie at a time. They also happen to have a master's degree in film.
Ever heard of it film, specifically screenwriting, but.
I thought it was pronounced hilm Hale wants yeah oh, I mean I am familiar.
Have how you say cinema. Also, the most anagrammable name in the English language it is Caitlin Doronte. I'm not in tula Ak Latin answer ut, I sorry. I do have to add that just so people know when we say your name is anagrammable, we're not fucking around here, all right, Lauren d Titanic Titanic, and we do have a Titanic story.
Crazy because I know the story of Kaylen and Titanic has just been It's one line. It's a single line. It's not event diagram.
It's just a line exactly.
So the fact that the name is anagrammable, so I'll kill myself tonight, I don't care.
We can all rest.
Know this.
Yeah, this is the apex so we could reach as a society.
Is that Yeah, no it is. It doesn't make sense how inagrammable your name is, but it is perfect, perfect?
Thank you.
How are you doing, Kaylen?
I'm just fine the end.
What super classy European city are you in right now?
Well, I am in the classicly beautiful European city of Los Angeles, California, but I actually will be in Europe not to blow all my plugs at the very top here. But I will be in Europe in Paris, okay, doing stand up comedy and seeing Hans Zimmer in concert. Thank you so much and wow. After that, I'm going to Berlin and Copenhagen and Dublin and then the UK for a Bechdel Cast tour, so everyone should come and see me. I'm doing stand up and or Bechdel cast shows in these places.
So that's amazing. Caitlin, When are you going to be in Paris? Just in case any Paris listeners are listening, that's your.
So right to ask me that I will be this podcast by the way, are oh my gosh, cross.
I will be in Paris in early May. The dates are I'm gonna say like May sixth through the ninth, or fifth through the eighth or something like that. I have all of the dates for all the shows I'm doing on my website, Caitlin Durante dot com slash shows, so all the info is there.
Thank you so much for sharing. I hope everybody comes to see Caitlin, Thank you, oh my god.
And Berlin, Berlin.
Have either of you done comedy in France or Germany? How you say Germany?
I've done comedy in Paris and I've done comedy in Luxembourg.
I recently learned that the movie from the podcast blank Check that the movie green Book, the Academy Award winner green Book, is a massive hit in France.
Interesting, so is Jerry Lewis.
I know this is my question. I'm nervous for you both going into the French comedy scene armed with like your vibes are not very green Bookian. I would say, I.
Take that are a major compliment, and I appreciate that I had. This will be my third time doing comedy in Paris, huge brag for me.
I mean, goddamn, the first time I did it.
Actually it might be the fourth. I don't know. I've done it a bunch of times. One of the times I did it it was on a boat that I swear the boat was called Savage Garden, which it is the name of amazing, incredible band that we all know and love, and I did that.
It was actually that band is named after the boat.
Yeah, all the songs were recorded on that boat.
Just like how I'm starting a band called Titanics, Lauren d Titanics family time band named after.
That's amazing. Well, uh, I, I do not fear for either of you. I fear for the city of Paris because they are going to catch some sharp comedy. You know, I don't know. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. All Right, Caitlin, We're gonna get to know you a little bit better in a moment.
My grandfather, Joe Biden sharp cock my comedy.
Sharp jokes that are gonna catch anyways, I know, help me put the razor blades in the rain jar. Anyways, We're gonna get to know you a little bit better in a moment. First, a couple of things. We're talking about major upsetting news out of Baltimore early this morning. The Franciscott Key Bridge fucking just collapsed, So we'll just talk about that briefly, and also check in with Cable
News because they are having a literal field day. They're just Yeah, the Fox News has some theories about this bridge collapse, so we'll we'll check in with that, and we'll also talk about the fact that we don't understand the universe and.
Never have question work and never will.
And maybe ever will that Like, according to the Jim Web telescope, you might notice the James Web. But we're pretty tight at this point.
You're like headline, all of us on the universe saying what do.
Yeah, literally, the entire astro community all got together and said do what when looking through the gym web telescope and discovering that it's not it's not telling us what we thought it should be. Things are expanding at irregular rates. Might be no Big Bang is the basic is the gist? The Big Bang might be a thing somebody just made up and like, this is not not.
A television show on CBS.
Yeah, bunk off, Okay, Young Sheldon, are so mad right now?
It was Big Sheldon that put this conspiracy out there, and that's it was all to for that sitcom. We'll talk about the Diddy raids. Maybe maybe we won't. I don't know. We'll talk about the Titanic door that Kate Winslet floated to safety on me.
With the premiere expert on Titanic on.
The pot, do you believe it? This might be the only story we talked about, to be honest with everybody, But it sold for over seven hundred thousand dollars at auction along with other movie Yeah, so it was flex all of that plenty more. But first, Caitlin Dorante, we do like to ask our guests, what is something from your search history?
Okay, well, obviously I'm looking at Shrek stuff and I found out Slash. I think someone told me someone damned me on Instagram and told me about something called Shrek's Adventure, which is like a I don't think it's quite a theme park, but it's like some sort of attraction in London. And I will be going to London on said Bechdelcast tour and we're doing the Shrek Tannic Tour AKA, we're covering Shrek and Titanic on this tour, so I have
to be going to Shrek's Adventure. And then that sent me down a rabbit hole and I discovered that there's a whole section of Universal Studios in Singapore called Far Far Away, so there's a whole Shrek theme park basically, and so I just have to go to all of these places. So I was just googling and doing some research, looking at the photos, and so that's my recent urch history.
I'm wondering if Shrek is popular in France, is it.
In any way comparable to the other live experience that has been getting a lot of press recently, and that the man who put on said it quote unquote ruined his life.
Oh, I thought you were doing around about the plug of Caitlin's live show again.
No, I was talking about that Willy Wonka man. That that truly, that truly.
Yeah.
Yeah, the fire the firefest of of exact.
Media, I mean not according to the website, it is not similar because these families in the photographs look very happy taking a picture next to a man in a Shrek rubber mask in front of that's actually Shrek. Oh yeah, sorry, my bad. Next to Shrek himself in front of Big Bend, just looking and waving at somebody in the sky off in the distance.
Wow.
Yeah.
So I'm going to that and I'm gonna have the best time.
Will you wave to the sky for me when you go?
Of course?
Yeah, yes, sk I feel like mileage may vary based on what country you're in, but Shrek is universal and international.
Literally a property of Universal.
Yeah, that's.
More universal. Did you get right?
Actually just went to Universal Studios with my kids for the first time on Saturday morning?
Pretty did you go to them? Ride?
We know? They we just we hit the like it was poor and rain out. Highly recommend that go while it's poor and because then the lines are very short and we hit the Simpsons.
Right, did you go to water World the show?
No, we had to like leave right before everybody. I know. But the theme, the concept of water World I mentioned. I was explaining it because I thought we were gonna have time to do it because to my kids, going yeah, My six year old like two days later was like, what was that movie? What was that world you were talking about where everything's like there's no land. I was like, son, you're talking about water World, And I can tell you are of me and mine kind, because yes, that I
remember when that ship came out. Man like, oh my god, I was so excited, so bad that the world is water.
Water World. It is wild that you're bringing this up because this is very relevant to my overrated.
Oh no, let's go right to your overrated.
I've already promised to kill myself once, not make me go.
There again, which is you're reaching your You're almost halfway to your average for appearances on this daily.
It is not water World. The it's not even a ride. It's a show. It's an experience, and therefore, well actually Okay, this is not my overrated, but I do kind of think it's overrated because I don't want to watch a show. I want to be a part of it. Put me on a water World ride, you know, but you will get.
Splashed, Caitlin, and then you're a part of it.
Yeah, okay, I guess my actual overrated is Kevin Costner.
Wow.
I hate him so much. I deaply hate that man. I don't know how he is as a person. I don't know what his politics are in real life, but him as an actor, I can't stand him. Sorry, everybody who's obsessed with Field of Dreams, I think that movie's overrated. Everyone's going to come for me and slaughter me probably, But there I said. I think he sucks.
Okay, say more. I want to hear more.
I don't think his politics are great, so I think you can feel okay about that.
I think he I mean, he looks like his politics are not good. Yeah, we're not like shocked about it.
He actually, like really tried to be a leftist and like his like every time he looked in the marror, he's like, no, this doesn't work.
This is He's like, no one is going to accept me everything.
Like I could just like you could plant me in a field and a fucking country club would sprout up around me. You know, like I just look like that. I look so Republican.
You can't get around that Republican. No, it's just it's it's overwhelming.
Yeah, it's not even.
Given moderate face, you know what I mean. That's like Bruce Willis, That's like, okay, he's a moderate.
Yeah, he seems pissed off enough about certain things.
Kem. Cosser is just straight repub pase.
Yeah yeah, yeah, no, piece of shit. Kind of knows it at some level that like gives him gastro intestinal distress, but ultimately his conscious mind is not aware that he's a complete piece of shit, and his politics are really constructed to prop up some idea that he's not a piece of shit.
Wait, I need to know, though, Caitlin, other than Field of Dreams, least favorite Kevin Coster movies.
I mean, I also don't like the movie water World. I think, sure, he's not the experience. It's right, the experience is actually better than the movie.
It really is. When you take when you take a like spectacle movie and like spend so much money on it and it doesn't work, and then you take the main actor out of it and like put a bunch of stunt people on a live stage to do it in front of you, and like that stands the test of time. There might be something with your there might be a problem with your casting on that first Yeah, you know, they're just like what if like the you know, Kevin what if water World except no Kevin Costner.
Yeah, what if he wasn't there?
Yeah, I honestly would maybe like it better.
Then.
I don't buy him at all as a romantic lead in the Bodyguard. I don't like the whole narrative around dances with wolves. I've never seen Yellowstone, but I'm sure i'd hate it.
Oh it's his Robin Hood.
Okay, no, give me Robin Hood, Meden tights anything. I don't want this like serious.
There's something there's something about him that is really convincing as an athlete, and like that's why I do like him when he's playing an athlete, including in the Robin Hood movie, because he's just like a guy who's really good at shooting arrows, Like that's all he really is. But I think like his charisma is the same as a great athlete, which is like not there's not much there, Like they've just been never had to like develop a personality. So that's why he's so convincing as that is, like
he just has. It's like if you had an athlete act in a movie like that kind of feel like you always feel like you're kind of getting an interview with a baseball player after a baseball game, and like.
Just it's like if Travis Kelsey had like an extra minute after.
This, Yeah, if Travis Kelsey was like slightly more boring, you know.
Yeah, he did this like he presented some award at a couple oscars ago. It might even been like the twenty twenty three A Screwed anyway, he it was like drivel. I don't know what he was saying. He had no charisma. He was I think it might have been for Best Picture. I don't know. It was something and it was awful, and he's not good at talking and I hate his whole thing.
What I think is underrated.
Okay, I'm really scraping at the bottom of a barrel here because I've just been on this show so many times and I'm running out of things. But I do think this is true. I think that Cris Picks cereal is very underrated. That's right. X.
They are the little hexagons.
Yes, I was gonna say octagon, but there's no way they're octagons. They don't have they got to Yeah, they have to have six.
Honestly, Caitlin, what not a fair?
They're good.
Counterpoint, very good. Correct.
You need to spice them up with some you know, sugar and milk.
They're not sugar enough, but they have a very unique consistency, very unique milk they do.
And sometimes I'll just like eat them as a snack instead of like eating chips. I just want something dry and they're very good in like a party mix. So everyone's all about that Checks mix. No way, no how, it's about Chris Picks Mixchris Mix.
Yes, Christmas Chris Picks mix.
And I always make it at Christmas time.
So there you go. Mm hm, Caitlin special Chris Picks st Chris Picks Chris Mix. Yeah, I agree, uh And I really do like it with milk too. They stay crispy longer than most cereal.
It's in the name Chris.
Round.
They really deliver on that name.
Yeah.
No, but like it's it's how there's like, okay, So oat squares also do this thing where like they stay crispy on the outside, but they get like just the right amount of moshey on the inside. And I feel like the number one thing in your cereals you have to find out that right like consistency for you when it gets milk on it. And I always want there to still be some crispies left, So I don't know, I might fuck around.
I'll throw some berries in that bitch.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're versatile.
Oat squares are a bit heavy, a bit dense for me.
It can't up too many.
You could do not overdo it with the oat squares quick.
Girl, think you can handle two cups.
They got a nice subtle sweetness. I'm a fan, but yeah, don't don't bite off more than you can shoot with that. Where's Chris picks? Chris picks also like they turn into these little like milk gushers, you know, like the milk all over. Yeah, it's really nice. I really like this under right, thank you. This is all very gross sounding. You get a nice milk gusher in there. But anyways, great, overrated and underrated from one of the greats to ever do it. Let's take a quick break and we'll come
back and talk about a fucking bridge collapse. For Jakes, Jesus Christ, We'll be right back.
Fucking seamless, and we're back.
And as the former guest said, the trademark of the show hurdling changes of pace and tone, we're going into just a horrible tragedy in Baltimore early this morning. The Francis Scott Key Bridge, the one from season two of The Wire. I remember them sitting there looking at it. I believe from Frank Sabaka. Is fucking beautiful. It's f fucking picturesque, is what it is. But anyways, that bridge collapsed after it was hit by a container ship, which
sent several vehicles plunging into the water below. An unknown number of workers were also on the bridge repairing concrete ducts at the time of the crash. It's truly like the video is. I mean, if you turn on CNN right now, when you're listening to this on Wednesday, it will be playing like they are just playing the shit out of this thing. But it is really staggering, just the violence and speed with which it collapses. There is
a detail from the story. Two people were rescued from the water after the ship hit a pillar supporting the bridge, and like two of the people survived, like we're found rescued from the water after the ship hit a pillar. So one was in good condition and refused treatment and the other was seriously injured and was being treated a trauma center. But like the person who was on that bridge and landed in the water and was just in
good condition and refused treatment. Is one of the craziest things that I've ever just like incidentally come across.
In this especially the water has to be so cold.
Yeah, you know who it had to have been?
Because I was trying to like play in my head like when I read this news, like who couldn't have been.
Rose from Titanic as well?
Isn't unbreakable?
Yes? And yes?
So yeah, I was thinking my grandfather, because this motherfucker hates hospitals, hates doctors, Like, I mean, he's dead now I'm talking about him, like he's still here. Well he is, but what I'm saying is like, you couldn't have paid him if you survived falling off a bridge. He's like, Okay, I already had something terrible happened to me once today yeah, now you're gonna take me to the hospital. That's the
second terrible thing. No fucking thank you. So I think that's it's the only kind of person that we're reading streaming at that point, someone that is so anti like going to the hospital for whom it's such a that's to know for me that they're like, I don't know, I'll brave hypothermia.
Let's fucking yeah, let's roll the dice on this.
You know, refuse treatment really does give like they do not want their bodies studied by science vibes to me. But yeah, it's a horrifying story. Obviously, something that we've been noting of late is just whenever there is a piece of news that is getting a lot of people's attention, it immediately just starts being flooded with conspiracy theories. And it's not just the Internet at this point. Obviously, we talked about Kate Middleton, like the Shoheo Tani thing, the
best baseball player in the world. His translator was fired for gambling. It's like, you know, I can see where there would be some suspicion, but people immediately were like, oh, yeah, no, this person has a massive like gambling problem and like it's over for them, and like in the case of this bridge collapse. On Fox News, first of all, Maria Barbaromo was asking the important questions, like will this disaster that people are still being rescued from, mak inflation worse?
She raised that question and then asked if it was somehow caused by migrants and Biden Biden's wide open border, and then.
On okay, Jack, is that now what you thought?
Right? Okay, that wasn't your first thought.
Okay, okay, way, don't lie about it. Well, no bridge collapsing, that is migrants.
That's migrants. Okay, obviously they need a bridge to get here. And yeah, Matt Schlapp did the other thing. Those obviously all on our mind and blamed COVID lockdowns for Yeah, that just makes sense.
First things, the virus attacks the lip tard. Second thing it attacks is the pillars of a bridge.
Thank you, prove me wrong, science, But there is like you see the lights on the boat go out and people and apparently there was a it issued a may day just before the collision, and that allowed bridge operators to halt traffic and potentially save lives. But people online are like and that's proof that it was a cyber attack, probably from China. So we don't know, but people are wildly speculating, as we are wont to do these days
because bad bad universe. Hey, speaking of bad universe. We don't understand the universe and never have speak for.
Yourself, Jack, Yeah, we understand it perfectly, Okaylyn.
And I were just like taking notes because we were like, this is too easy before.
Too too easy. So there are a handful of things that I thought I knew about theoretical astrophysics, like so you got your gravity right, got your light, got your speed? Theory of relativity I don't totally have a grasp on, but like I know that like maybe time and space and speed like affect one another. And then the universe to.
Watch back to the future a few more times in Interstellar a couple of times and then you'll get it.
The important speed barrier is not the speed of light. It is eighty eight miles per hour, and that is the point at which you can start warping speed third time. But the one that I thought I knew was like kind of a basic one doesn't really make sense to me, never has. But the universe is expanding, right, we knew that because it started by a big bang. Right, those are like two of the core ones that I feel like I had trusted them on. Well it turns out
they fucking lied to us. You guys, No, they're just like they So they had this theory everything was kind of expanding at a constant rate, and then they would look in the Hubble telescope and they would be like, accept, it doesn't like when we point it there, it's not going the same speed as when we pointed over there. And they were like, well, that's probably wrong. We're just like not pointing it correctly.
But now this that's why I could never be inside scientist because the media I would be like, I'm not doing it right.
Yeah, exactly, I'm not wrong. But that's like they've had evidence for years that like they weren't. But they were like, no, we just fucked something up because it's such a sort of load bearing assumption. Like they the whole thing was
like big bang leads to expanding universe. But for their previous model to be true, it seems like they needed everything spanning at the same rate and they got so now they got the super duper high def kind of James web telescope picture of deep space, and they that also said, hey, not expanding at the same rate. They were like, we're gonna keep keep assuming it is. Finally they checked James Web against Hubble, like locked the data together, and it seems like all doubt has been taken out.
It is no longer you can no longer say that the universe is expanding at a constant rate, but it is.
Still expanding at an inconsistent rate.
Yeah, it's expanding at an inconsistent rate. No me, So this is the thing. It's this paper was published by the same assholes who did the dark energy thing. Have you heard about the dark love but you.
Have an agenda and people you hate and you're like, it's these motherfucking out again.
Yeah.
Energy.
Dark energy is like the mysterious force behind the universe's accelerating expansion. Like they're like, well no, no, So basically they like did the math and they were like, none of this makes sense unless we create this invisible force that we haven't really found yet. We'll call it dark energy, and they want a Nobel prize for that. Basically, they are like geniuses of making me recognize that I know
nothing and you know, I thank them. I'm extremely good at knowing nothing, so they're really like kind of hitting my sweet spot. But yeah, so now their paper states, with measurement errors negated, what remains is the real and exciting possibility that we have misunderstood the universe.
Motherfucker. That's the possibility and reality I'm living every day. Yeah, give me something to cling to. Are you serious right now?
Also?
Okay, to expose my own lack of knowledge. How does this in any way relate or not relate to string theory?
I don't know?
Yeah, okay, cool, I don't want to thank you. Okay, No, we're all stupid. Great, I love that for us.
But I can't even like, no matter what rate the universe is expanding or not, and however it's consistent or not, I can't even wrap my head around that because what is it expanding into?
Like exactly more universe?
But what I know? I know it doesn't like there was nothing and then the universe expanded into it. Like I don't get that.
I'm noting it, but are constantly like my kids turn.
A beautiful dummy, I not meant to understand. I smell flowers, ipet dog.
I rate I make dumb podcasts, We're good, I know.
The other thing I cannot really wrap my head around is like, so, because we are here on Earth unless you've got listeners in Mars, Like.
Am I right?
These these migrants from Mars collapsing our bridge grins? So we you know, live on this We're all pulled down by Earth's gravity, and so like I'm like, oh, I have to go somewhere it's forward or backward or to my side. But what I never quite can comprehend is that like in the universe, like exactly above me, like however many light years there's like other solar systems, and then exactly below us is other So like it's just happening in all directions.
I don't now, not to make me feel bad, but I totally get it.
Oh okay, no.
Fucking way do I get it.
The more we talk about how big the universes, they're like more I want to hyperventilate.
It hurts my feelings, it really does.
Have you ever had this feeling?
Okay, it's like you're okay, You're at the beach and you're like looking down into sand and you're like going really in it, and you're seeing how fucking much of the sand is made up of how many different things, and you're seeing all of the different little grains for what they are, and then you start realizing how much sand there is, not just the beach that you're at, but in general, And do you just start feeling sick because that happens to me.
Yeah, it's overwhelming.
It's too much.
It's like that too beautiful and I'm only looking at a little bit of sand and I'm like I cannot.
Yeah, yeah, I have an existential crisis anytime I really think of about anything. It's like the end of Men in Black, when like it pulls out and it pulls out and it pulls out and you're like, oh wow, it's the Earth and then we're like pulling out even further. And then it turns out the Earth is just one of many, or like even the galaxy is one of many marbles that these huge aliens are playing with, and I'm like that is probably what.
It is, right.
I'm like literally getting hot, like you can see me getting pink, because like this is too much and like.
Our little human brains simply cannot comprehend it.
I had that thought when I was younger, Like, what if we're just like a little bit little like tiny thing, you know, Like because when you get down to the quantum level, it's like so chaotic and like you can't look, you can't really tell what's going on down there. So what if we're just like down at the quantum level of something much bigger.
Yeah, I think we all deeply do feel inside us that we are, Yeah, because we what's so unsettling about like acquiring enough knowledge or brain to actually comprehend even a little bit of that reality. That's when you're like, oh now I'm fully like fucked because like this is too much to comprehend. But I do want to say, like the sad thing always not always, but a lot of the time freaked me out to the point where I'd be like, Okay, this is too much in a
bad way. But like I remember the first time I actually saw shooting stars when I was in Maine, and it was during like a meteor shower and I was like on the dock on my back, like looking up. There was no you know, light noise, you just could really see it. And for like my whole life before that, I had pretended to have seen shooting stars.
You know, nobody.
I would always be like, oh did you see that. I'd be like I did.
She's like totally did not. It's like those like what you stare at the painting and you see a thing. I was like, totally didn't. Like you guy, yes, I will lie about it. I'm like brain freeze felt it totally turns out genetically some people can't feel it. I can't feel brain.
Freeze really like when you eat ice cream, you.
Cannot you cannot feel like wow, I'm like my mouth is cold.
Is that what you guys mean?
We're like, no, that's not at all what it is, and I cannot conceive of it.
I get brain freeze all the time.
I know, and I have been faking it this whole time.
I know what it feels like. Option.
It's an option. It's an option.
So that's how I felt when like I was seeing shooting stars, or like when I thought I was seeing shooting stars, like yeah, we all see them, and then the one time or I actually saw.
Them during that meteor shower.
It was actually like one of the most like so shaking experiences in my life in like a good way where if I could slay there and for like just a limited amount of time have a window and see so many things.
Then like that means that it's possible to have a window and see so many things all the time. And that made me feel like so glad to be alive.
It is kind of the opposite of the sand feeling, even though it's still you are tiny and the world is big.
Yeah, that's a little bit how I felt when I looked at that first James Webb picture of the universe where they were like each one of those galaxy, Oh you thought it was a star galaxy? Motherfucker. That is we are like one of a trillion in our galaxy. Each one of those is a galaxy.
So it really boggles the mind. Also, how do we even have like telescopic photographic technology to be able that. I also don't understand that millions.
And millionlog genius is like building on there that it is like cool, Like it's like the stuff that we can do with science like is pretty impressive, and we tend to right out like the wonder at like that's amazing that they built that that like just all these geniuses like working together without like they're they're not James web you know, but they're like still putting in all the work to put this thing out there so we can get this picture, so that we can realize we
don't know shit, which is pretty wild, but it's so crazy.
I appreciate them most beautiful way.
Yeah. But yeah, now, I because children do ask these questions like they my kids are constantly like, so what is after the universe? Like what? Go like, you're yeah, so the last star and then what And I'm just like I don't fucking know. But at least I had when they were like what started the universe? I could be like, big bang, uh, yeah, I know that one, you know, like and now I don't even we don't even know that.
Oh my god, you got nothing.
I got nothing for It's always when they're taking a shit, I think like there's something with the bage old nerve, Like there's a you know, the digestive nerve system that is like that. It's like relaxation and digestion and like all those things are tied together. And it's like the second my kids sit down on the toilet, they become like the biggest stoners in the world. They're just like, what is it all mean? Though, I'm just like what
to think about it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Have you ever Dad, have you ever looked at the sand on the beach and been like.
You're like, no, I'm gonna send you over to Antie Sophia's house.
Exactly.
It's been fucking her life up over this for a long time.
You talk to her, Yeah, exactly. Actually, the thing they say about the beach is that it's all parrot shit. Parrot parrot fish shit, parrot fish shit. That's what sand is. The thing that breaks up sand is like parrot fish eating rocks and shitting out. I mean it's not the only thing, but it is often like white sand is parrotfish.
It seems like exactly what a Jack's kid would say.
Yeah, I know it does sound like something that was made up by a six year old, but no, it just.
Sounds like Jack O'Brien's kids.
Yeah, you're like, surprise, these are just strangers.
I don't know if parrotfish were a thing, but now that I'm looking at one, I'm like, oh, they have a little beak.
They have a little beak, and they kind of have little human teeth. I saw one in an aquarium and I was like, you are a fucking nightmare. My god, you are.
Fish have teeth in a way that should not be okay.
I'm I'm not okay with it.
Like, if you require a night guard, you can't be a fish.
If they do wear nightguards.
That's fucked up. I have a nightguard. No, Like, we can't.
I can't be looking on my teeth pattern in your face if you're a fish like that, it's not okay.
Sorry, we gotta cut this short. I've got to take my parrot fish to the orthodontist. It's because brace is tightened. His teeth are all jacked up. Yeah, but anyways, the report concludes sleep tight motherfuckers at the end. It doesn't, but it might as well. So that's that's that. I take it as like cool, more mystery in the universe. So let's me so tiny. That's that's what I take away.
I love it.
Let's take a let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back and all right, it's that time to uh get a Titanic story in while we have Caitlyn Durante, Okay, Lauren d Titanic.
Yes, I so badly want this dong to swell up behind this segment.
But this was beautiful. Thanks. All right, there it is the dancing by the way listeners, really good stuff from Auntie Sophia. All right. The big cellar at Heritage Auction's recent Treasures from Planet Hollywood event was the door that saved the life of Kate Winslet, Kate Winslet's character Rose in Titanic. And you know that wasn't heavy enough to hold Jack Dawson out of the freezing water.
Yeah, don't even get on this. It's not about size. It's not about there wasn't there was enough space, yes, but it's about boo and c it was.
It wasn't buoyant enough, yes, exactly.
And so I'm tired of everyone screaming about it.
And it would have frozen because they would have been submerged in the cold water.
Regards that they would wait is so much for that she bade.
Anyways, she barely made it out like as it is. You think with his cold ass like up there with her that it would have been fine. M M.
I think they would have been happy if she just like ended up like eating his like body on that door. As it got later, I'm like, just let him die.
Chewing on his ass, his marbled ass also.
Like and then she would have got brain freeze.
Come on, Jack, you were a bit of fun, okay, you she wasn't going to leave her life behind for you. Come on, Jack, would you think this way? What if she had just turned like cold as Kevin Spacey and was just like what do you think? This is Jack? Obviously this is you. You can't get on this with me. You know?
What do you reference.
If she had just like been like but Kevin Spacey and what? Yeah, I don't know, just like I feel like sometimes he'll like give like an ice. Maybe I'm thinking of the Iceman Cometh the.
Like just the iciest thing is the Iceman.
Old the coldest hearted? I don't know. Yeah, I guess Kevin Spacey is not a cool reference anymore.
Foreigner song? Is that right now?
You think mister Freeze or whatever from.
Yeah, I'm thinking I just mean like cold hearted and calculating and just being like, yes, agent Kuyan, you know, I don't know. He never says that, and fucking usual suspects. It's a long day, but all right.
The coldest thing he does in that movie is just walk away.
Yeah, but he doesn't so cold.
It's so fucking called ice in his.
Veins, all right, So it sold for seven hundred and eighteen thousand, seven hundred and fifty dollars more than Indiana Jones's whip Jack Nicholson's Axe from the Shining. But I don't know. Some of these price tags are making me wonder, like if any of you remember like when the NFTs first came out and they were like, this art just sold for like this art full of JPEGs just sold for three million dollars, and then I feel like.
A lot of ape is eighty five dollars, Like Bill Murray's red Rose bowling ball from Kingpins sold for three hundred and fifty thousand dollars and the Axe from the Shining only sold for one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars.
That feels feels like things are off there. Well.
Also, okay, the door, First of all, where do you put that? How do you display it? It's huge and if someone comes over, they're like, what's this random hunk of wood in your house? I don't think a lot of people would recognize it for what it is.
No, it's not iconic, like it's just a shape. Its visual water. Yeah, yeah, it's super iconic in terms of like the plot, like architecture. It's very important, but it's not a thing that I could pick out of a lineup.
You want to be able to explain it to other people for the rest of your life.
Yeah, you do.
You're buying a conversation that would never happen otherwise, say.
Chap, what is that?
What's that? Or that?
For the rest of your life, and that's what you want.
I guess, Hey, Chap, oh, what's that random piece of shit leaning up against your wall?
There is that firewood that you need to chop up because that's what it looks like. Whoever bought it needs a swimming pool or some kind of pool, and then it should just float in the pool. And then they should just get like dummies of the Titanic characters and position them. That's what I would do if I bought it, and I did buy it, because I'm the person who you are seven hundred nineteen just.
Under a alias of Lauren d. Titan.
But honestly, that fool idea is kind of the best idea I've ever heard, Like buying a piece of memorabilia and like letting it serve if you will like that door will be serving kunt in that Pool's be honest.
Yeah, it's just how you're floating trying to get reactions, you know.
Yeah. And also you could have people be like, okay, can you get two people on here?
You know, Well, do you remember a few years ago James Cameron did he like hired scientists, the same ones who just told us probably that the world doesn't make sense, so we know we won't understand the universe. Ever. He hired like professional energy darkness, the dark energy. Yeah, and he hired people to conduct to like recreate that because he was so sick of people being like Roe should have scooched over and there was room on the door, and she was so selfish, blah blah blah. He's like, no,
that is not true. So we hired people and proved that the BOO and C was not there. Yeah, So that was like a newsworthy story a couple of years ago.
Yeah.
I also couldn't believe it because I'm like, if I had James Cameron like fuck off money. Mm hmmm, I'm out here in the streets hiring a scientist to prove something from a door in a movie I made, like twenty plus years ago. Yeah, that's what made me be like, he doesn't have a family or friends that love him, Like, why would you? Yeah, I you were having a good life.
He would just think that's hilarious.
Yeah, and just move on. But he's no, I have to prove it.
Yeah, at least he would have made an effort to like get it. But then maybe it's not heroic if he tries. If like he keeps clambering up onto the door and it's like she's like, no, no, you're you're fucking thinking it, like you keep you know, so they just accept it. Yeah, he just resigned to his fate.
You could also so apparently it's part of a door frame, which again goes to indicate that everybody thinks it's a door and it's part of a doorframe should suggest that like nobody knows what the fuck this thing looks like at all and might not be worth you're seven hundred thousand dollars, But I guess you could use it as part of a doorframe, like that would be and just be like that doorframe you just walk through. Look at you so dumb, you don't even know you're part of
a letter. Yeah, you've just walked through the doorframe that saved Rose's life, my dear.
Right, it's not even a perfect rectangle. Yeah, it's just like it's like a chunk of.
A wall chunk. Yeah, it's like.
Shaped more like a crisp picks than exactly than a rectangle.
And it's no milk gusher, am I right?
No milk gusher, not giving me any milk gushing. I'll tell you what. Yeah, there is a story about a guy who I think it was like a Texas oil billionaire who bought the window that Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy through and like put it up in his house, like just had it installed in his house. Let's show them what happens to democrats when they come to cases, but.
Let's show them what happens to people that love theater.
Right. But so that's where I got the idea for the putting the door using the doorframe as a door frame, you know, and that genius anyways, Yeah, yeah, yeah, all.
Right, Well, congratulations Caitlyn.
Anyway, congratulations to Laurence d t.
Enjoy that door chunk, door chunk.
I really will thank you so much.
I have good plans. Thank you so much for joining us on the Daily zye Geist as always, Caitlin.
Oh my gosh, thanks for having me.
Where can people find you and follow you on all that good stuff?
You can follow me on mostly on Instagram these days at Caitlin Deronte and kind of barely there. And my shows again are on my website. I'm doing stand up in various European cities. And then there's also the Bechdel Cast Shrek Tannic Tour. We are doing shows on either Shrek or Titanic in cities such as London, Oxford, Manchester, Edinburgh, Dublin. And all of that information is either on the Bechdel Cast link tree or my website. So check out all of that stuff.
Kaitlyndurante dot com slash shows.
That's right and link tree slash Bechtel Cast bang.
And is there a work of media or a tweet that you've been enjoying.
I just saw the movie Problemista, starring written and directed by Julio Torres, and I really liked it, so I would recommend people watch it if they can.
I can't wait to see that.
Yeah, I highly recommend.
Is it film theaters if it's at the AMC Glendale, freaking Americana.
Yeah, Goo Google Glendale. Amazing Sophia. Where can people find you as their work media you've been enjoying?
People can find me as always at the Sophia Sofya on Twitter and Instagram. I'm not posting very much either, but you know I will be. I don't know that sounded vaguely threatening for no reason, and a work of media I have been enjoying lately. This is by Matt Margolis. It's Matt's Law. You'll hear from my lawyer, boring overplayed, probably tax attorney.
Trish is going to be fucking livid, intimidating. Who is Trish? What have we done?
That's right, Trish is gonna hear about this.
Just just wait.
Let's see mcdad's stuff. Tweeted. Please stop telling me to lift with my legs. My legs are also not strong and leak siggles. Keep tweeted. Imagine if you will, a town where the boys are back. It's just one of the great first sentences of a novel. You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore Obrian. You can find us on Twitter at Daily Zeichgeist. We're at the Daily
Zeitgeist on Instagram. We have a Facebook vanpage, and a website Daily zeikeist dot com, where we post our episodes and our footnotes where we link off to the information that we talked about, as well as a song that we think you might enjoy. Uh, super producer Justin Connor, is there a song that you think people might enjoy?
Yeah, I'm gonna keep the Parisian vibes going with this track called Jane, which means I don't drink much. And this is a very danceably jazzy track that's got a good cleaning your house type of energy. As Miles likes to say, I don't know anything about the musicians, but they created this nice groove and they just stay in the pocket with some flourishes here and there. But yeah, this is Jane by leyatupa Duzer.
And you can find that in the footnote footnotes.
I know you were fluent in French, just barely.
This episode is going to get flagged for being French. We're going to put it in the French language section the Daily we Baltso. The Daily Zea is the production of by Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio is the heart radio app, Apple podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. That is going to do it for us this morning, back this afternoon to tell you what is trending and we will talk to you out then. Bye bye,