How you doing?
Ah?
Pretty good? All right, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, it's a loaded question. I shouldn't ask you, right, Oh my god, so good, so good this past year. I don't know. I think bad before, but good yeah twenty sixteen on really yeah? Yeah? Oh shit, yeah. I need to stop asking people how are you? Give me an answer to how you're doing. Let's get it, let's get into it.
The news.
Yeah, the thing, because it's like you're either doing horrible like most people, or if you're doing well, no one wants to hear that.
I don't want to hear that.
Shit.
How bad are you? That's what I should ask? How bad are things for you?
That's the worst thing going on?
What's the saddest shit? This happened recently? My hairline? Oh on, your hairline looks spray air.
Nice to do the doopostical.
Worst thing, Brian, you were trying to ask me something, and I apologize. I just okay, just about your hairline?
How's it look?
Jack?
Jack?
Sorry?
Real quick? How's my hair look? Hello the Internet, and welcome to season four to sixteen, episode four of DIRNDAILYSI guys, Oh god are you okay? Sorry? Sorry? Real quick, wellness check on Morse sprain my ankle. Uh. It's a production of iHeart Radio as a podcast where you take a deep dive into America's share consciousness. And it's Friday, November twenty twenty five. It's Black Friday. The reason for the season.
You know, we've moved Thanksgiving forward and backward just to you know, get people time to shop, the corporations time to make that dang line go up.
I'm grateful to say eleven percent on flat screen TV.
That's what I'm great. That's my name's Jack O'Brien aka zip Ties, zip ties, so zip ties sold close to me? That one courtesy a Smitty Werbin Jaeger mun Jensen in reference to the Google search that undid the perfect crime that we covered earlier in the week, when a woman from Asian City, New Jersey, had herself zip tied and hired a scarification expert carved Trump whore into her body in order to try to make herself the next conservative victim who gets one hundred thousand dollars to go collect
an award for being brave. Unfortunately, her accomplice had just googled zip ties close.
To me.
And they were like oh boy, that's also you guys, this one was most recent Google. That's right. Yeah, I mean that they should just have have an alarm that goes off every time somebody searches that that's not good. Yeah. Yeah. Thrilled to be joined in our second seat by a very funny comedian, actor, writer. Improvisers podcast is rebrand got a new special coming up called a Timeless Masterpiece. He just knows grinded into this meeting because he is our
skateboarding man on the street. It's more what's up, God, thanks for having me, dude, Hello, mort what's up? Thank you? Thank you for being here. On to be here the slowest news week of the year. Yeah yeah, not really risk, that's nothing happening. Yeah, So we're thrilled to have you here and more we're thrilled to be joined. You're in for a treat. One of the funniest stand up comics in the world, one of our favorite guests on this podcast, and it's been way too long, you know. Here from
TV podcast. You can see your headlining at a theater near you go. Check the website. Some dates coming to the Pacific Northwest Ashland Sarcasm Fest in December. I dang sarcasm. Uh, that that'll be there. It is made the same exectveling. Yeah, please, welcome back to the show. It's Amy Miller. What's up? Amy?
Guys?
So good to have you, I know, great to have you back. How are you? How are how's everybody planning to spend their Black Friday?
Oh I'm gonna like, I'm gonna lie I'm gonna lie down.
Probably that that is the correct answer.
Yeah, my couch.
Yeah, I think think that's that's where everybody should be on this entire weekend.
Maybe a little small amount of.
Crying, gentle sobbing, Are you going to really go for it? Do you think?
I think I'm going to have maybe a good big sob sash for a few minutes, But then you got to hydrate after. Don't forget to hydrate.
That's true, like some gatorade for a.
Good water coming out of your check.
Yeh, never cried before.
Let's try to relate to the humans on this.
I got a bad headache. Yeah, it was rough. My face was making weird shapes. I do cry sometimes, but my face doesn't change shape. There's just tears rolling down my face and I don't know what's happening.
From Ghosts.
Yeah, exactly, in that I have a lesbian scene with Whoopi Goldberg.
You wish I would leave. I would love to see you act in the dramatic film Jack.
Yeah too. Yeah, there's a dramatic range. Oh yeah, for sure. Amy. We're thrilled to have you here. We're going to get to know you a little bit better in a moment. First, we're going to tell the listeners a couple of things we're talking about. In terms of the news, we'll just cover that it is the slowest news week of the year. So like I I can remember a story that broke in like two thousand and nine. That's how slow the
news were. The news is. I'm like, oh, yeah, there was one story, so I want to talk about that. It was when Tiger Woods, like drunk drove into his garden.
Oh yeah, that was good.
That was good, and like everybody remembers. So it's like a double edged sword because like the news media is not around, nobody's working, but if you fuck up, everyone's going to see it because there's nothing, nothing else is happening.
You would think more solebrities would just try to be the news story. Something fucked up and crazy.
This is your chance.
They said celebrities Jack.
That we should we should game plan something for for all of us to do. It's gotta Yeah, well, we'll talk about the makings of the perfect celebrity news story in this Tiger Woods gandal.
That's like fun It doesn't make people hate you and you're not hurting anybody give them on the coverage.
I was gonna say, it's funny if you started publicly dating the January sixth shaman guy, but that really make people hate you?
Up.
Yeah, he seems cool and.
We're not getting back together. Messed it up.
And then, as if to illustrate how slow the news day is, we're gonna cover the fact that six Flag just hired a CEO who kind of looks like the six Flags guy, And uh, I want to talk about that. I want to talk about the pope introducing like having a video at the front of a EDM rave. And then I want to talk about Black Friday news stories in general, the trend. We've covered this before, but uh, it don't stop, and it don't quit. They continue to
treat Black Friday as if it's a capitalism thunderdome. And we'll talk about the reality behind those stories, all of that plenty more. But first Amy, we do like to ask our guest, what is something from your search history that's revealing about who you are?
Oh? Okay, well, I I was looking up a picture of that that played a fancy food from Missus Doubtfire.
Like, oh yeah, from the restaurant at the end.
Yeah, and he's like jumping heat.
And he's jumping back and forth, yeah.
From table to table, right, And it always just looked as a kid like like that was like a peak of like California cuisine, like this is what good delicious food looks like with those like tiny tiny carrot.
Oh yeah.
I was like, what if I just recreated this meal for friendsgiving?
I'll have one Missus Doutfire please? Yeah, and then you get to stick your face into a cream pie at the end, you're still pretending to be a different person, but you're changing clothes.
Nast your search history, Jack, Yeah.
How do I cream pie myself? Is what I said? And people there was a lot of complicated and confusing diagrams. It's kind of hard to pull off, apparently, man, I yeah, just what rewatching Missus out Fire with my kids for the first time this past year. It is so good. Some of his riffs, as when he's just being funny Robin Williams, are like hard for kids to get, Like he's doing a lot of like old timey actor things,
like old timey actor reference is. They still liked it, but to them it was just like he was doing imitations of just random voices.
You know, he would be like doing jive talk or whatever, and you're like, hey, yeah.
And then there's the subtle races. Ignore that one. We don't do that voice, we don't do that one, the seventies racism, which is a funny specific kind of yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, like that's Humphrey Bogart. Never mind, okay that ignore that one. But it's also like a lot of the genie riffs in Aladdin are like here's Johnny and like references to the Tonight Show that they have no.
Frame of reference or the Shining.
Yeah right, well they have seen the shining and they do love that. Yeah. My seven year old, in particular, I had.
A seventh grade teacher that was an alcoholic.
Uh huh, yeah, I'm familiar with that phrase. I know about those one that wasn't that was a ship.
Anytime she like wasn't feeling well or whatever, like that was the go to.
Like we would always be shining missus.
Kids in it. The kid's a star, it's a kids movie.
Yeah, she would just throw on missus doubtfire. But uh, you know, it was a lot. It was many, many times of the year.
That's that's an interesting one. That's an interesting one because I'm trying to wrap my head around like we had a I went to a Catholic high school in Kentucky and we had a priest who not not like because he was hung over that day, but like as part of his curriculum at the outside of the year, it was like three solid days you were going to be watching Brave Heart for some reason, which everyone was like, fuck, yeah, man,
that's that's fine. I'll take that. But I think the way he justified it was that it was like based on history, Uh, missus doubt fire. I'm trying to figure out, like, based on history to you about drag in a way that isn't going to scare people. We had a I had a public health teacher who was also the pe teacher, and one time he came in class and he wrote public health but he forgot the l in public. So it's a pupil and that was our super Bowl, Like I've never seen your children.
You don't think he did it on purpose.
That almost feels that almost feels like he that was his introduction to sex ed And then he was like, people think this phrase is weird. Once he saw your reaction, public, public, public, I gotta go. He just really wanted to talk about it. He asked questions for us about what is something amy you think is underrated?
Not going home for Thanksgiving underrated?
Not going just.
Underrated, like ignoring the actual dates that things happen, Like I don't know why. We're just like I've never really got I didn't even really care about my own birthday on the day, I mean my birthday. Heills in New Year's Eve, so there's probably a reason for that.
Yeah, oh my god.
Can I just drive up next week when there's not traffic? Yeah, it just it's just insane. I'm opting out this year nice thankfully. Yeah, I feel good. I feel strong about it. I can't be guilted any longer.
That is not an overblown story. The way that travel is just an absolute fucking nightmare around Thanksgiving yeah, it's just like in America tries to fit on one plane. Yeah.
Yeah, my family lives in the Bay Area. And even driving it was like there was a year that I three years ago, I drove back and it was like literally twelve hours to get from like Oakland to LA. Yeah.
If you're wondering why mort is here instead of Miles Gray, it is exactly to avoid that situation. Was the way up to the Bay Area and he was like, Oh, if I record this podcast, we're just going to drive up there, get there and leave right away because it will take us twenty four hours. But yeah, it's, uh, it's hell out there. I think that's a I think that's very valid. Why yourselves, Yeah, yourselves to coordinate with the people. Yeah, freedom, I think he said, for your
mind and the rest will follow. The color blind. That was what he screamed at the end. What is uh, what's something you think is overrated?
Okay, I didn't hear. I didn't see it in the stories we're going to cover, So I have to say Campbell's soup. Yeah, a big piece of news.
Did you guys We covered it yesterday? Yeah, that one we covered it on every day two Damn much. Yeah, one of our nine episodes yesterday we did record three.
I've always felt it to be overrated, and I am one of the fat poors. He mentioned, I grew up eating it, and it's like, no, it wasn't. There's not even a comfort to it in the way that like a pack of blue ramen is still comforting. And I still do you know what I mean, it's like always been disgusting. Like and also why am I cooking? Like the whole point, why do I have to add water to this? Like we already decided. If I'm gonna buy a can of soup, it's because I don't want to
cook soup. Don't make me put an ingredient in it.
One place he was completely on the money was when he described the chicken as seeming as though it were three D printed.
He's very funny. I mean, he's gonna if if it's like not too late to add anyone to Trump's cabinet, he would be a shoe in.
A Department of Defense and healthcare. He's like it's like nine per so he's he's he's he does see it. I mean he seems like could be a perfect fit in that I feel like a lot of the people like Rudy Giuliani became a perfect fit for his cabinet when he just was like what if I stayed drunk
all day? And like this rant definitely feels like somebody who was just hammered, Like nobody has that much stamina to be like and another thing for an hour long zoom call where everyone else is like video off and he's still going. It's like the backstage at the comedy store when like people have been doing cocaine for too long or whatever. He's like, you want to go home, but it won't stop. He could have been cocaine actually, because he is he was in the c suite of Campbell's.
Campbell's was like, uh he was like some tech guy and it's like no, he was a chief technology security whatever. Like he he's in this c suite. He's like one of your main dudes. And and a lot.
Like Rudy Giuliani, he is red wine drunk, which is a special kind of It was like that drunk you know what a jug of not even good red wine, Like it's just a different kind of alcoholic. Like they they they're very emotional.
Yeah, dewey eyed and slow kind of that's right.
Yeah, and like rosy but you know, just yeah, dark teeth.
The teeth they need another hug, stained teeth, needing a hug for a hug.
Yeah, they're listening to a lot of opera.
Yeah, pretentious, their pretentious alcoholics. Yeah, we did. We did take a look into not just that rant, but also just their history and there's there's a lot of ship that. Uh. Yeah. They were like dumping toxic waste into Lake Eerie. For a number of you, that sounds that's why if you swim in it, it tastes like it tastes like chicken noodle. That's right. They were like, fine, we did it nine
hundred times over the course of like three years. So they were doing it three times a day, dumping toxic waste into Lake Erie, and it like contributed to a algae bloom that made the entire city of I think it was Toledo have to turn off their water for four days.
How are they going to make the soup?
Exactly? Thank you.
Can I say something about those chicken noodle noodles too, because there's nothing like it. They don't exist anywhere else. Because they could just use a short, small noodle like a shell or macaroni or whatever. But instead they're chopping.
Spaghetti, chopping chopped spaghetti.
It's like little pieces of noodle chunks.
But the least aldente pasta has ever been. Yeah, it tastes like it has the flu.
Yes, it's like gladness.
It is so fucked up. The substance of that is like the fact that that was the first pasta that I probably ever ate is.
Yeah, that spaghettios for sure are delicious. If that guy goes off, I don't know what I was in charge of, mister. If mister Boyardy lose.
Is it a jug of wine?
That's right, doctor Boyard. I think I think he got his PhD in spaghettios with Pepper old friends. Yeah, it's a very good point about the ramen too, Like that that has totally supplanted any at home soup option. Like if you're gonna you have to add water to that one too, But like if if we're adding water, might as well make it fucking awesome.
I mean, I am cooking that one.
I'm adding proccoli, I'm atkins shit onions.
Oh so much better than Campbell's to say. In the first fifteen years of my comedy career, like I owed all wrong the baby.
Yeah, what's your color?
Uh dude, well, I do the the I don't think we should call it oriental, but that's what I did.
I do.
That's what it's called. Yeah, that's that's what it was.
Yeah, the blue one.
I'm chicken just because that's what we had in my dorm when I was like in high school, and yeah it was I've never given up on the chicken.
Is the saltiest.
Yeah.
And when we eat one of those freaks in your life, that's like I only use half the packet, you know, Like I don't want to know you.
Yeah, just wanting to get out of here. Yeah, I'm too busy exercising. You're like relaxed. I like how you define it by color. I'm going to start doing that.
Yeah, that's kind of love to say oriental like you.
Yeah, I'm on the edge of my scene. I have a gong that I hit like Jackie can't enters Rush Hour of Seeds.
Does anybody eat the beef one? I don't. I think beef is like like mag I mean, I just I've never met anyone that defaulted.
The prefers read.
Yeah, anything that anything any they think that's be flavored makes me want to retire, like that's yeah, yeah, that's so good.
Yeah being alive. I don't want to be around anymore. All Right, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back to talk about the slowest news day of the year. Into her back and guys, the pressure is off. It's slowest news time of the year. Everyone who makes news, both the journalists and the famous people, usually take a break from doing anything interesting or over the long weekend, and we get stories they wrote last week that they
like try to pass off as breaking news. I just got a breaking news alert on my phone from Smithsonian magazine that scientists just discovered a second lion roar.
I know, can you demonstrate it?
Jet, It's just like, that's what it sounds like. I was like, well, there might have been a reason we weren't we didn't go with that one on the speaking spell, but you know, we're in the doldrums of the news cycle. Let's luxuriate. And then I did just want to really briefly talk about the one big breaking news story from this time of year, which was totally unplanned. It was such a weird story. So this is for anybody who's
trying to go viral this long weekend. I think it had some key elements because the very first version of the story we got didn't make any fucking sense. Do you remember? It was like Tyr Woods crashed his car into his garden on Black Friday at two in the morning while driving away from his house as we all do. So it was like day after Thanksgiving. He's driving away from the house like so fast that he crashes into
a fire hydrant in his garden. I don't know. I guess when you're when you live in a ten million dollar mansion, you have a fire hydrant in your garden. And then he was rescued from the wreck by his wife, who had to break the back window of the car with a golf club. I was like, wait, what why did she have to do that? You got to climb out in the back of it. I think it was
like a big suv and it was. And then people were like, you know, the National Enquirer had just dropped a story about how he was having an affair, like it was like next to a story about like Aliens, and so nobody took it seriously. But then it just like that was the beginning, and then it was like the next week twenty people came out and were like, I fucked Tiger Woods. I fucked Tiger Woods Woods. Yeah, we're fucking Tiger Woods. So I think that's what you need.
I think you need a story that gets people's attention but also like sticks in their brain because they're like, wait, what what? Yeah, there's some things, there's a there's a mystery to solve that we don't need the mainstream media's help with. In fact, the mainstream version sucks and the
fact that nobody's working. It's actually kind of helpful that, uh, that nobody's working, because they just gave us this bullshit, like straight from the mouth of Tiger Woods's publicist, version of what they wanted it to be.
Well, we love when a celebrity man cheats and then the lady goes off in something.
Yeah, yeah, you know, burns something.
Down, smack those nudes or whatever.
Oh yeah, when.
Lisa LEFTI Lopez burnt down Andre Risin's was that? Who did it? I feel like, yeah, she burnt down, Yeah, like her boyfriend's mansion.
Feel like the closest was recently was Puffy going after kit Cutti's car.
Yeah, thing he ever.
Did, that's the one I won't forgive.
I'm waiting for Malania's freak out.
That is so great.
Christmas this year, we're not decorating.
I mean, yeah, they like because she she'll disappear sometimes, That's what I'm assuming that is.
It's amazing she has him in such a like she's in such a powerful position right now, like ever since all the Epstein emails dropped, and it was like, not only is he mentioned, he's the most mentioned, He's the person whose name is the most all over these fuckers. He has been dropping Like the the White House was like posting just pictures of them holding hands, being like
Washington power a couple much. It's just like they they need her so much right now, and you know she's not happy in that marriage, like she could we could see like a fucking I don't know, something happened here in the coming days where she's just like, yeah, I don't fucking need this shit. She was like this dude sucks. Actually she tweets it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's good.
Guys.
We were talking on Wednesday's Trending episode about how at the White House, like Turkey Pard in media event, He just like went into this fake conversation between him and Milania that was like really forced. It was like when somebody forces in that they have a boyfriend or girlfriend so that you know they're they're just like trying to let you know that. Yeah, yeah, exactly, I have people
in my life they love me. Because it was like related, he was like, I should call these uh turkeys Nancy and Chuck, but Malani would tell me not to do that, that I have to pardon them, and I'd say darthing. He like made up this fake dialogue those like you guys have never talked to each No.
Were you guys following the story when that guy was on Twitter and he had been like a former like nanny, you done childcare for another kid at Baron's school for many years, and then he was saying like every day that she is ever at school, her like coffee cup is filled with wine.
Yes, amazing. So she's a white wine drunk. So that's why we haven't gotten the rant from her quite yet. But the second she switches to red, yeah, any good people inside the White House maybe uh maybe be like you know what go well with that? Ham? Eleven glasses of wine eleven glasses of red.
My very good friend currently has her child at the same school as the vance's child.
Oh and so.
She just like sees them all the time and it's really bizarre. But she's like, I can't like tell my kids did not play with that kid.
Right, yeah, not nice. Not their fault necessarily.
I don't want to just casually talk to that lady like a demon, you.
Know, right, yeah, but you do the child, like they do have the opportunity to open that child's mind. Because I have friends whose parents.
My parents were really progressive, but I have friends whose parents were super conservative, and they ended up because like we talked to them like human beings and explained him how the world worked. They became like way more progressive.
You know.
You guys had like a Kami re education camp for your friends. You're like, step in here. Yeah, my fellow comrade, do you mind if I call you comrade in third grade with yeah? All right, So let's get to the non news that we'll be covering. The new six Flag CEO kind of looks like the Six Flags guy, we do, mean of kind of. Yeah, he's both bald and has classes not old enough to really look like him, but his name is John Riley, not John c Riley. And
uh yeah, they they named a new CEO. This is slightly related to a story that I wanted to cover a couple of weeks ago, where Travis Kelcey announced that he's part of an activist investor group that is uh investing in like bringing six Flags back. Is there any more evidence the word activist means nothing now? Yes, exactly. There's shit to worry about, dude. I do love that.
It's I think activists, like technically in the world of finance, they've they've given up on it meaning anything like progressive, and they're just like just means they want to like fire people, hire people, and like change the leadership.
Yeah, like Republican activist Ben Shapiro. You're like, no, he's a hateful nerd. Yeah, stop calling him activist.
Yes, this is a cause. It's the cause is fun.
This is what I'm saying. Okay, I'm team Kelsey on this one. Start a new one. Six flags mold and broken.
Let's do eight flags?
Okay, what about seven? What if we just start with seven?
You know you're such a small thinker, Jack, I know, I don't know why you would just go right to eight.
That's a really good point. The even number has been working for so many years. And by working, I mean they're in a lot of debt and thinking about declaring bankruptcy for like the thirteenth time. I'm underwater of this roller coaster. Baby, you know what I mean. The market I don't understand though, like it. Why are they failing? Like I think theme parks are like perfectly timed for right now. They put you out into the world with other people. They're thrilling. They are like the cure for
what ails us. They everyone's like phones have ruined all the old stuff we used to like to do. This is the one fun activity that phones have made way better because now you have phones when you wait in line, like you don't, Yes, it makes waiting in line. Waiting in line is so much better than it was the last time you waited in line.
Like I used to play cards.
We used to play brought cards with you. Oh yet did someone have to get on all fours so you could like put use them as your card table in line on the ground. We used to play twenty questions, just over and over, and by the third time my dad was like, is this a character? From Jaws. Yes, is it Sheriff Brody? You got it into this time? Holy shit, it's we know it's always Richard Dreyfus Jack.
I think they're just overpriced, but it's fucked up because that's like the one thing there's not a lot of shit you can offload from an amusement park, but you can't like resell the coaster or whatever. I also don't want them to be struggling financially and then go on a coaster knowing like, hey, they might be cutting some corners with the maintenance or right.
Yeah, so we haven't lowered the price. We've raised the prices on cotton candy, and there's more air in the cotton candy less candy, but we have lowered the amount of axle grease we use on the roller coasters. We've cut down on that. About six Flags, it was like that it's either operating those things. It's either like a methadict or a teen and I feel safe with neither of those people. Yeah.
Yeah, my ex, like the first time he met my niece who's who was twelve at the time, Like we were at six Flags Valo, maybe the worst one in the country, and they got stuck on a ride for three hours and like the burning hots and I was just like sorry, dude, Like he wore her down over time. Like they came off really liking each other.
Yeah, good friends.
Plus side of six Flags. I'm like, Disneyland is that they sell big beers everywhere, So by the time he got off, I was just like, here's a jug of beer.
There's so much beer for you.
Yeah, but it was a teenager like climbing up on the tracks to like fix something god knows what, and it was terrifying.
It's that's so crazy scary. Yeah, it's the case. It's like the teen from the Simpsons. He's like, hell this you know, it's a sunburnt and pimply and you're like, this is my own family life is in his hands.
I bet if you're a Carney teen that's really skilled and good at your job, you're offended by this stereotime totally.
It's a coaster with like a paper clip, and he's like he's a master genius.
Yeah.
I'm like really in my thirties and forties like gotten new appreciation. Like we just I went to this scheme park Kennywood outside of Pittsburgh, which is I think its own thing and is so fun. Like it's just I don't know, like if you go to a good theme park that's not Disney, because I went to Disney World with my kids and it was like we got stuck
on rides and it's got all the same shit. It's just like five times more expensive than any you're you're just paying for the IP at those places, Like yeah, it's the same level of ride, maybe a little bit safer the rides, but like I don't need, like the the lack of safety is what kind of makes it fun, you know. So like Kenny is that just owned by a guy named Kenny that's just like a stepdad, like a cool stepdad who's like.
Yeah, Kenny Rogers and.
You get to see there it's not no, it's wait, is he dead Kenny Rogers?
Yeah, he did quarantine, so you might have lost chat. It was like the first big celebrity death like maybe like I.
Don't know, April or May twenty twenty. I was devastated.
That's tough.
Yeh.
It's not Annie Rogers. The other good thing that you you get to see like their misfires at like attempts to create where it's just like a weird mascots, just different people named Kenny.
I want to see some weird ip like that, like yeah, like found it down amusement park.
Like would be so fun amazing. Yeah, this also the CEO thing. I think that mascots should be recorded. There should be a week where every company lets their mascot be the CEO and we get to see it. So like Tony the Guy, Tony the Tiger costume.
Yeah, I just found out there was a Twinkies mascot. Never knew it in my life.
All these Twinkie with cowboy stuffy. Yeah yeah, oh yeah, we've all done for a long time. Every year I think.
Filled with cream.
That's right, cream pied himself. That's I've taken all covers. Three holes on my back have three holes. That's bunge cake, you know. Yeah. By the time I'm done with them, they got three holes. I'm so sorry you far Jack. I know that one was way too far. All right, let's talk about the Catholic Church real quick. I got to get a religion story and for amy and know how much you love the Catholic Church. I don't know
there they've been doing stuff like that. There was an event at the Vatican where Clips performed with like a full orchestra. There's just like these little drips and drabs of this new Pope just being like, guys, I'm cool, I can get it, just like pulling his hatter out of the back.
Three trans people for dinner.
And yeah, yeah, what a hero's.
Not like publicly anti, you know.
Not something. But it's also hilarious. Can you imagine having to be one of the like three mouthpieces for the entire trans community with the Pope.
Be cool at dinner?
Okay, used as a prop for them to be like, hey, we don't hate you that much exactly.
But then if one of those people was just like super fucking annoying you know, yes, you know trans.
Thinking of we're thinking of acknowledging your personhood. I know it sounds crazy.
Person's just chewing with her mouth open.
That's a great idea. Yeah, like you has got any chicken nuggets?
You have any ketchup for this spaghetti.
Jesus Christ. All right, we're gonna watch a little clip of this. It's basically they use the Pope as like the build up to the drop. Mmm, he like gives a weird little blessing.
The Son and the Holy Spirit will come upon you and remain with you always.
He like gives a big lung blessing and then goes, amen, Amen, Amen. It worked on Catholic again, how you guys are at? But that did it? Has this ever? Has this ever worked?
Like trying to meet the people where they are by being like, we're actually kind of cool and here's here's our leader, the mouthpiece of God blown up five hundred times his size to look like snoke and then just like opening a rave is like it is the best attack, Like it's better than a cool youth minister, like putting his hat on backwards and yeah, like taking out his acoustic guitar, being like, I got a song about a guy who is a little punk rock that clips album
is legitimately so good, it's wild. Yeah, but do we feel like this is gonna work? Are you guys Catholic? Now? Are you interested?
I could feel our nation changing and becoming more and more hippid Catholic.
He needs to do like a full just Campbell soup level, just like this company sucks right.
Some audio where he's like, these guys are fucking idiots, but they're all child resters.
Like until he really acknowledges the place he works, I don't. I'm not gonna trust him. I'm never gonna think the Pope is cool unless he's like, we got a couple of things to fix around.
Here, right, Yeah, he needs to snowboard into masks. Then I'll start listening. That's I think you were saying a slightly different thing than a Jamie's saying, like more substantive changes to the ideology snowboarding. I'm saying snowboarding. I think that would imply all the changes that we need.
Just do a kickflip.
Yeah, this is like they are marshaling all the powers at their fingers, Like they're like, all right, we're gonna do this in front of a grand cathedral and just have the Pope giant behind us.
This is a weird thing that kind of happens, Like, uh, Like I've been to these like cathedral shows, like in Mexico and then in some like parts of France where it'll just be like, hey, stand in this courtyard of this beautiful cathedral and then they'll be like a light and DJ show and that's like you know, and a bunch of tourist groups go on it and it's like, I don't know, I don't think this is the best way to showcase this architecture, right yeah, And then and
then they think it's going to turn into a party and it doesn't. It's just a bunch of people staring and it's very bizarre. This has happened for a while, but like, I don't know if the Pope usually is there.
The Pope is usually like weird dropping bars on top of it. Let me just lace the track real quick. Well, And in Saint Louis there was an abandoned church that since burned down, but they speaking of may you would have loved this. They put a serious vert ramp in there and basically a skate park in this like beautiful abandoned church and it was really Yeah, the instagram is amazing.
I figure what it was called, but it has since burned down, but it's like maybe very proud to be from Saint Louis finally, and you would have loved this. I think I remember you saying something about how it would help if the Pope would snowboard into a cathedral. I think that was your pointing this for years. Yeah, they could also sell all those priceless works of art and give the money to the poor. That'd be kind
of chill. Like the last pope was like I think we should be like more about poor people and that sort of thing, and this one's like we're about E D M and dance parties. Uh, and he wants to fuck.
I think he does.
I do feel like he's had sex, Like, am I crazy?
I don't think so seems you got to ask God, But yeah, he doesn't know.
As Yeah those guys fu dude, it's.
From Chicago because he's also fun drunk at noon, he beat up a he beat up a Cubs fan, And all right, let's take a quick break. We'll come back. We'll talk Black Friday. We'll be right back, and we're back. So we're gonna talk about Black Friday, which I think I think a lot of people associate with Mayhem. Scariest time of year. Yeah, yeah, can't even got kids to fucking tickle me elmo. Yeah, or like disembowel this guy for tickle me elma, you know what I mean. But
the sales have kind of they've changed. They're now like migrating into October, but the day is still being covered, Like there's a story in the sun Friday Frenzy inside worst Black Friday violence, from Walmart worker trampled to death to shooting at Toys r us five times Black Friday shopping matess turned violent, even deadly. Black Friday's most gruesome injuries and deaths through the years. These are that was the headline in the New York Post, like top five
most gruesome injuries and deaths on Black Friday. Dude, there's a website that tracks every single Black Friday death and injury, the most recent death being twenty twenty one. Because I think people are staying home, but it's also have you
guys seen the movie Thanksgiving, the Eli Roth movie. It's like an entertaining slasher movie that opens There was a Bruce Campbell movie called Black Friday that I didn't see, but Eli Ross Thanksgiving starts with a scene that is said in a Walmart esque store on Black Friday, and basically people just get just destroyed. Like someone's head gets like the top of their head gets ripped off. It's just like everybody tramples each other. Someone gets like destroyed,
like multiple people die. It's very It is what will always be in my head when I think of Black Friday from this point on, Like they did a good job of capturing what I think we all think of when we think of Black Friday because we've seen the local news stories. However, there's some problems with this. First of all, it's like very classist. Research has shown that the majority of Black Friday shoppers are people who are low income people looking for deals because they're struggling, which
makes sense. Yeah, they're as Brian put a Campbell soup buyers, if you know what I'm saying. But it's also like wildly overblown. Most Black Friday violins. Yeah, usually it doesn't have anything to do with Black Friday. It's just anytime someone gets hurt in or near a retail location on Black Friday, they turn it into a story like this.
They're like all these examples when you look back at the stories where like they don't report on the truth of it day, Like there was a story at like a Colorado mall where like these two teenage girls were fighting and they were like they were fighting over these like this buckle store and they were just like they hated There were two people who went to the same high school who hated each other and like started fighting.
There's also like a Toys r Us shooting that it turns out like happened to the parking lot and it wasn't even on Black Friday and it was gang Really that's just a standard American shootings. Yeah, that's just a straight up normal American shoot I.
Feel like we grew up with just like like in the East Bay, there's like the fighting mall and then yeah, exactly, but it's also like the fun mall a lot of the times. So yeah, like, yeah, that's where you want to hang out because there's this more other teens. You know, you might meet a boy or whatever. And then there was like the safe, boring mall where you won't get shot, but also everything's more expensive.
Oddly you might get shot by it, but it's by the private security company that they've hired. It's just normal ex masade agents.
I mean, what movie it makes me. I feel like it gave us jingle all the way.
Right now exactly really.
Think about it.
Yeah, that's and that's.
You know, I mean that Beef wasn't only about the doll. That's you know, Sinbad. They're both just trying to do the best for their families and sin has been treated poorly by the United States Postal Service.
No, not the US Postal Service. I will say Eli Roth, by the way, the director of Thanksgiving, not always great at knowing how to tell the truth of between propaganda and reality. He's like one of the most outrage staunch pro Israel voices in the world. He said, Greta Thunberg should be eaten by cannibals for trying to deliver aid into Gaza.
So there's so many of these And same with that kind of filmmaking, which can be fun, but it's like so unsubtle. It's like people who were and not you know, I'm not I don't hate professional wrestling, but there are people who've like adopted that worldview of like a seven year old you know, it's like extremely black and white. I feel like those people are very likely to fall for propaganda and strong man shit.
I mean, he is one of the key filmmakers behind the torture porn trend. That is like, if you look at it in history, was around the time that America started torturing people. And he's like, hey, that's a good idea for a movie. Yeah, it relates to this story too, because it's like the those basically the media has kind of.
Turned into like a modern version of rotten dot com if you remember those websites. Yeah, this is like faces of Death stuff. It's but it's just like it's totally normalized.
It's real weird. Yeah, we need our bloodlust. He claimed. The theme of his movie was the commercialization of Christmas and the hypocrisy of Thanksgiving, when Americans go from giving thanks to trampling someone to death for a waffle iron. And it's like, all right, that's on one way to interpret this the big story that I think everybody remembers.
They're not even expensive.
I know, I know, that's what I'm saying. Guys don't trample each other to death for a waffle iron. They're not that much. One of the few clear cut examples of like black Friday leading to a death, there was a Walmart employee who was trampled to death by a crowd after opening the stores doors, like back in two thousand and eight. And this is the scene that seemed
to like directly inspire Thanksgiving. But some people might argue that the unruly crowd was part of Walmart's plan to create a spectacle and generate publicity for their deals and
like that. This is like I think there's like you guys are saying there's always violence in malls and like retail locations every other day of the year, and that shit just like the mainstream media and retailers just agree not to report it because they're like, you know, that's bad for business, But this is the one day of the year where they're like we can actually say what's actually going on. And in fact, like the violence is like good. It makes it seem like our deals are crazy.
It's like the I'm crazy Eddy, I'm slashing prices. Yeah, and it's also like we don't we don't pay you a money when you work, and we hypnotize your children with billion dollar advertising, so you're required to get the stuff, and then when you are like clumsy about it, then we sort of make fun of you and exploit you. Yeah you know, yeah yeah. They basically like fostered the mob because they wanted to like create this sense of like,
oh my god. And then it also for the people who are actually there, not just with the media specta, but for the people who are there, like everybody's making impulse buys, so it's it's how they would ideally like us to shop like supermarket sweep styles, just like we let you in for fifteen minutes and you have to get everything you can possibly get. But a lot of people have said that the Walmart thing was a textbook
case of horrible like negligent crowd control. Like there are ways to like, when you know there's going to be a crowd, you have security present, you have like safety barriers in place. They didn't have any of that shit, even though they were specifically like trying to rereate this atmosphere of like frenzied shopping. Yeah, they had a guy on a megaphone going like go ape ship had like an airport and that's.
What the greeters do.
Look to your left.
Well. Also, they didn't have like medics on him or whatever, like anyway like save him, right.
Yeah, Nah, they're just like where's where.
Add to the chaos? I mean they should have ambulances like parked outside the lights on. That's right, like when you're going into a crazy concert or whatever.
Yeah, feels so good, you'll be badly injured.
Yeah. The Occupational Safety and Health Review Commission find Walmart for the incident, pointing out that the retailer failed to take steps that could have saved his life, that the employee was exposed to a physical hazard that Walmart was aware of from previous Black Friday events, and Walmart spent more than two million dollars to try to overturn the seven thousand dollars. Fine, God, not on like making sure it never happened again, to try and like make it
so that they could be like, wasn't our fault? Which is wild. So yeah, the moral of the story is like corporations treat their blue collar employees like shit, and we'll spend millions of dollars rather than admit that they do that. And then the moral that the US mass media took is like blue collar people are basically zombies, Like the fucking kill each other for a fucking waffle arm. Dude, they're crazy, Campbell, that's right, just pelting them with Campbell's
soup cans. Amy as always such a pleasure having you on the.
Daily seeing here.
Thank you so much.
Where can people find you? Follow you see all that good stuff?
Yeah? Follow me at Amy Miller Comedy on Instagram and everything pretty much. I'm heavy into threads now since you last saw me. Oh, I'm a thread stir, I'm big. Yeah, so follow me there. I've only been mildly canceled once for a thread. Okay, d'angelo's coum gutters. I shouldn't even say it. They were so mad at me. Everybody was so mad.
Are they so mad? Was it like right after he passed?
Yeah, but it was like, you know all I mean that's a.
Yeah, yeah, he was well, he was hot. All right. Wait, okay, so if you're gonna like make a statue and tribute to him, will he not have amazing cum gutters and you're just gonna like not.
Have to vote on this statue be involved in anyway. But I also said voice of an Angel, I loved you anyway. Follow me there on threads and then I'll be in Seattle at the end of January, and I have tour dates at Amy Miller Comedy.
Dot com Go check them out. Amy. Is there a work Amedia that you've been enjoying?
Oh? Yeah, Oh, I mean it's a thread, you know what? Really? When it's when it started to take off for me? Maybe my favorite tweeter of all time that I know and love as a personal friend. Solomon Georgio joined. Yes, so it's a it's a Solomon post nice and it's been Hayden cowardly Lion since the Wizard of Oz, acting all shy and afraid but still managed to roll or curl your hair before step.
I was just talking about how beautiful his hair is and that like two days ago. Yes, so gorgeous. Yeah, go with the.
Red bow and again old choice. That's not a cowardly choice.
No, cowardly lion, and then just serving kunt I think he is the source of the second Lions, or we got it up.
That's so good. No, it's like a friend that you know is struggling and they come out like way too overdressed for the occasion, like they're just meeting up meta bar or whatever, and then you're like, oh, you look amazing and they're like no, like, don't bring it up.
No, no, I don't. I look like fucking shit. I look like No, you're strong, you know you're how strong you are?
More?
Where can people find you? Is there a workimedia you've been enjoying?
Yeah, follow me at mort Burke. Been posting sketches and stuff on Instagram with my buddies. A Mendos that's fun here. This is this media thing involves the story. I want to go to listen, lads, that's my Yeah, that's my morning DJ voice.
So okay. My friend and I used to just text each other funny tweets, and I don't remember who tweeted this, so I need to know. I texted my friend this tweet, just thought it was a funny tweet getting my dick sucked at this webinars, Like, that's a great tweet. But I asked and only texted that to my mom. No, And my mom texted me back. Who's she's like? She was an elementary school teacher. She's always like, I'm not funny. She texted me back, Well, we've all been there.
WHOA nice?
I did? My mom's killing it. That's really good.
I think she might have been my teacher that showed me missus douk.
That's right. Check what's in the mug? Mark check what's in the mug? All right? You can find me on Twitter at jack Undersquirrel Brian and on Blue Sky at jack Obe the number one. Not on threads, but maybe I should get over there. Probably it's over there. People are living it up. Huh.
It's fun It's really wild because you get a lot of input from strangers, like way more than ever happened on Twitter.
Wow, crazy, that's what I That's what I'm in it for from strangers who don't like me.
Excited, but they'll hate you for reasons that they made up because they have no context for you.
Right, you're actually getting sort of like a refreshing new view.
From me me, they don't know me.
This is what I should be insecure about now, not the other stuff that people have been saying about me before. I get a whole new vibe people find off putting in a way that I wasn't even prepared for. I like to tweet by The Onion an article by The Onion that says man who thought Fleetwood Max the chain was over in for the thrill of his fucking life. You can find us on Twitter and Blue Sky at
Daily Zeitgeist. We're at the Daily Zeitgeist on Instagram. You can go to the description of this episode wherever you're listening to it, and they're at the bottom you will find the footnotes, which is where we link off to the information that we talked about in today's episode, and we also link off to a song that we think you might enjoy. With Miles out, we like to ask Brian the editor, Brian, is there a song that you think that people might enjoy? Damn it? Jack?
Oh no, don't you know it's incredibly dangerous to disturb someone when they're in a jazz hole.
Oh okay, you have been in a little that. I've been getting some very smooth vibes every time we enter. Brian likes to have some music going whenever we enter the recording, and it's been nice. Wee in a jazz hole sign on the door handles.
Yeah, so call me Chris Nolan because I'm about to take you on an odyssey.
Oh what if Chris Nolan was also about to take us on a jazz office? What if they're scatting in this? Yeah?
No, he'd have to put a black person in a movie if.
He did so.
This is Freakadelic by Jeff Parker ETA for the Vinyl.
Yes albums called The Way Out of Easy and It's got everything Jack.
It's got Jeff Parker on guitar, it's got j Bella Rose on drums, it's got Josh Johnson not the comedian and former guests on saxophone and Anna Butter's on bass and they just make it up.
It's amazing. They're just making it up. So that's the thing about jazz that I heard, but I never believed it. They're just making it up. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Well, so the song will be linked in the footnotes. Is that grimy? Yep? Yep? All right, well, thank you, Brian. The Daily Zeiickest is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio w ap Apple podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
That's gonna do it for us. This morning. We are back on Monday morning with the third episode in our icon series, The Iconograph. This one's about Miss Piggy. It's got Jamie loftus. It's a super fun time. That is the correct uh pronunciation of haya. Here's better. I got an hour of Muppet impressions. Oh hell yeah. Until then your weekend, you're staying miller. We'll talk to y'all on Monday morning. Bye bye.
The Daily zeit Geist is executive produced by Catherine Long.
Co produced by Bye Wayne, co produced by Victor Wright, co written by J. M McNabb.
And edited and engineered by Brian Jeffries