Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Advanced Kate Middle Trend Theory. My name is Jack. That over there is Miles, and boy, there is some suspicious stuff going on in the Royal Court over in the UK. More on that at eleven miles.
Yeah, eleven seconds.
And yeah, like maybe like five minutes. First we have to talk about ice cream. Yeah, it's uh, you know people who likes who.
Like put the ice cream?
Yeah, ice cream.
Her majesty says sour cream.
Sour cream. You say cream, Yeah, yeah, sura.
Cream, sour cream.
And sour cream sat and hey, we've heard of ice cream, We've heard of cream. This ship is sour. That is a notable thing.
Wasn't there video Seinfeld like harassing like Palestinian protesters at a recent thing. Anyway, I'm not surprised to someone who like I think he was doing like IDF fantasy camp or something with his family eight years past. But anyway, ice cream another IDF, the International Dairy Foods Association IDFA is guy put out like a list of like sort of what America's top ice creams are. But the thing that people are taking away and I think this is in the take out they're putting this out too, is.
That uh chocolate chip.
It ain't nowhere near the top ten, not even the top fourteen.
It's why do we expect it to be?
Okay? But I'll just let me just.
Yeah it did. It was to be for a while.
Yeah, I mean remember when we were kids, that was like the way to be, like, well we have vanilla chocolate or chocolate chip.
Was kind of like bull.
But anyway, top from ten down number ten, cookie dough, then caramel salted caramel as nine, chocolate chip, cookie dough, Coffee butter p can is number six.
Shout out butter pe can.
Wow. I love that still out here.
Well, you know some people still respect the class to the gym favor.
Yeah. They used to sell hoodies.
I remember like and you know when you buy Wu Tang album and the CD jacket would be like merch you could buy. And I remember they had like they had like they had like wou Wear for like the shorties, like they're like your butter pea can't ice cream.
Anyway.
I never bought wou Wear clothing, but I bought the wou Wear album that they made.
You're like, well, I don't know if I can pull off wool wear, but I'll have the album. It was a spiritual version of it.
Strawberry mint, chocolate chip, chocolate, vanilla number one cookies and Cream. I'm not mad at that. I love cream was one of my favoritest kids. But anyway, vanilla chocolate chip is not up in the mix. And I don't know, Like, according to the New York Times, it's because our palettes are evolving and we want more intense, exotic flavors. Now, I don't believe anything the New York Times says anymore.
So I'm gonna go ahead and say it's because our pallets are evolving and we like unique and more intense flavors.
And that's gonna be my take.
But yeah, like, I think it makes sense because if you look at all the things that like, you know, these like sort of higher end ice cream companies make, it's not chocolate chip. And also I think we both have the same bone to pick with chocolate vanilla chocolate chip ice cream.
Yeah, it might as well be crans Like for the first few seconds, it might as well be crans that like pass through a wood chipper because the chocolate is too frozen.
Yep.
Now, I've had good versions where the chocolate immediately starts melting your mouth.
And fish food, you know by ben Cherry's Yeah, yeah, exaust chocolate fishies they go.
I actually don't like the chocolate fishies. I feel like they have the same problem that I'm describing here, Like I just generally unless it's like a different like kind of not to over quote Brian the Editor's non new Tonian substance, but I do love it. You know, something that's like between liquid and solid and like just kind of melts even though it's been frozen. I'm suspicious of it. I do think like magic shell, it's like on that line between chemistry and like witchery. Yeah, but I don't.
I don't totally trust. I feel like it's going to eventually kill me. But it's I don't. I don't like a hard chocolate in my ice cream, or at least it's not my favorite they get.
They have the like to your point, terrible mouthfeel. Yeah, they don't melt in a pleasant way. They feel like waxy, and they typically have no flavor. But the way I eat fish food, when I take a bite, it's like sunflower seeds, like a kind of I kind of sequester them to the corner.
Of my mouth.
Yeah, yeah, the fish and then then I go then like then my mouth has kind of melted them, and then I fucking go in bro.
And then all the fishies And that's why that side of your teeth is just rotted away, rotted.
My identisty saying please stop doing it. I'm like, well, doctor, I like to leave them in overnight.
I all right, So my kind of unified theory of ice cream flavors this is just for me. I need a so generally have a sweet uh preferably non marshmallow, gooey with a sweet preferably non chocolate solid with a non chocolate ice cream base. I'm not a big fan of chocolate ice cream in general.
Okay, Oh, that's why you don't fuck with fish food.
And it has you just describe, fish food has a marshmallow ribbon going through that.
Also it also has like caramel ribbon and fudge ribbon. I mean, it's got so much going on that you can find something you yeah, yeah, exactly, but yeah, you know, like I like I like a gooey noss with like you know, like there's the brambleberry crisp at Jenny's. That is like it's like a pie crust, like a really sweet pie crust, like berry filling. That ship's really good. I just had a powdered jelly donut from them. I like sweet and solid mixed in. But that's because I'm
baby and I need a baby. You know, that's okay, not all of a from basket of Robins anyone.
Oh shit, you almonds fudge, Holy shit, dude, that is definitely that. That to me was like a parent ice cream.
That was that was my mom's favorite. But I have come to appreciate it. Uh if you could just like make the almonds coated and sugar, I would prefer it. But oh, like, uh make almond brittle?
Yeah yeah yeah? What are those like candy covered almonds called candied almonds? No, but you know they have like a shell. There's like a name for him.
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, I forget what they're called.
But any whatever, anyway, zigang, I know you're yelling at your radios right now. Try and tell me what it is, but I don't remember. Yeah, So anyway, vanilla chocolate chip. Sorry, sorry, And apparently like doing this article, they were saying that. A lot of the ice cream makers are like, yeah, we we honestly don't even have room to make that
shit anymore. Like it's seasonal like they now, it's like they make it in the summer because that's ice cream season, but like year round, it's like it's just not moving.
The needle really fell off.
Man.
Mint chocolate chip though, you know, it's got the same problem, but it's got the mint cover it up, and so it's got enough going on.
Do you remember when I was I kept eating that ice cream. I was obsessing over maybe like a year and a half ago. I kept eating this blue ice cream that would dye my insides. I was getting handles. It's called blue Monster. It's the most juvenile thing I've I love. It's it's bright blue ice cream with chocolate like chips, ahoy and oreos in it.
Oh yeah, that's yes. Please like cookies in my ice cream, any sort of sweet pastry. Yeah. Does it shide because it's blue because it's cookie monster? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I have seen that out in the wild. I've been bleeding blue cookie based ice creams. Ye, And yeah, I'm saying.
To make it that queue of blue You are you basically should just drink like a little bottle of food dye.
Yeah, yeah, like you. Yeah, it's wind blue out this much cookie. Look what we can make you eat. We can imply that cookie monster jacked off in this. Now why the monsters always there come is the same color as their body as with our Grimace milkshakes.
It's just how it works, all right, Ye ask Darwin?
All right, don't ask us? All right, So what's what's the name of the palace? The the Buckingham Buckingham Palace has issued a statement, so there's a massive Harry Kane. Uh So this story is a little This feels like the Internet is. I'm sure I'll be yelling at by the Internet in one voice, but it does feel a little bit like the internet's losing its voice. Kim Middleton's been out of the spotlight for a while after having abdominal surgery in January. People are like, where is she? Like, Okay,
she had the surgery, but she's like still recuperating. Like they're they're trying to erase her. They're trying to get her out of there, you know. They There was some speculation that she might have been one of the characters at Willie's Chocolates. Glasgow asked character that will dig into a little bit more on tomorrow's episode, But I don't know.
Like the Palace said on January seventeenth that she would be taking a step back from public duties until after Easter following the procedure, So they like told people, and I feel like that just got erased and people were like, what the this is, Like, Hey, she's going to be gone from this date until Easter, and you're in the period that they laid out and said she was going to be gone for to like have a procedure, and everyone's like, did you kill her? She's mad? You sick? Fuck? Yeah?
Wait you up from that coma? Yeah. People are saying that their theories that she's in a medically induced coma. But two theories that Kate is the mask guy's wide shut guy at Willie's Chocolate factory.
Yeah makes sense.
I mean, but isn't I thought something that like even her parent, like her family hasn't seen her. I think that's the layer that has people being like, but I don't even know where that comes from at the end of the day, Like it's I don't think it's I don't think it's a.
Fun reason why Kate Middleton is not being seen.
It's like, like, for sure, y'all, I just had to go to Turks and caicos, you know what I mean, let my hair down right. And also abdominal surgery depending on like what it is, getting your abdomen cut open. Uh, isn't always the east thing to recover from.
But yeah, I don't.
Know as it like, because she is a human being. I'm like, I like, everybody leave her alone. Because she's part of the royal family, a racist cult who lives off of stolen wealth. I'm like fair play perceiveing like she was at the Willie's Chocolate experience. That's what it does to you being in a royal family. That's not even a mask. But you'll note that she's They never exploit, like in their statement from Buckingham Palace, they say like, hey,
this is what we said was going to happen. She's recovering, she's doing well. They never say if she is in Glasgow frightening children. Were you thinking of Jordan almonds?
Oh? Is that what it is?
That is a candied almond? Yeah? Yeah, not what I had in mind because those kind of suck.
But yeah, yeah, yeah, have you had one? You don't like them?
Jordan Almonds?
And I think that's my weird shitty candy that I like.
It's just like if you triple lacquered an eminem got rid of the chocolate.
And just like Matte Finish.
Yeah, just like completely candy. Shelled the ship out of almond Eminem without the chocolate.
Isn't it like a shitty wedding thing that people would usually get, like a traditional thing.
It's like and some Jordan Almonds, I.
Mean, they were a hit, but they for me, they're relegated to the necho wafers, those things that are just like you're putting the people level just candy, those like we we have better.
But yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not saying that's the height of it.
But like, I guess I acknowledge their ship.
But you know what part of me I like how they make my tongue dry.
Right, they're also very sharp on the inside.
Yeah, yeah, that's Shelly playing.
Chaotic is trending also for the worst.
For the worst reason, Chaotic Incident is trending because we have a yet an other bit of mainstream media journalistic malpractice. CNN so I'm gonna read this, Yeah, CNN, so many people. It says at least one hundred killed and seven hundred injured in chaotic incident where IDF opened fire as people waited for food in Gaza. Palestinian officials say, yeah, the wording of that is awful. You look, you click through
to the article on CNN. Again, the lack of like assigning accountability to what happened is really fucking alarming.
It says like, um, but let me actually find it says over one hundred killed.
Oh so now then, so like they have a bunch of different ones said a one hundred people died while were died while waiting for food, as if it sounded like people were like just dying of starvation when the story is that Israeli forces opened fire on.
A food line.
Jesus Christ.
And there's you know, there's a lot of back and forth. We're like, well, the Pelostimians are saying this and the IDEF is saying this. I'm gonna go based on a journalist who us saying this is what happened, basically saying that people were getting around these food like these aid convoys that were getting near to deliver food and some of the trucks had hit people, and in the chaos, just things ramped up and then suddenly these soldiers are opening fire on civilians who are starving.
Yeah, the people are starving. They you put them in a place where they might receive food and then start shooting if they don't act orderly, right, they're starving.
Yeah, yeah, and it's yeah, I don't know, it's just like chaotic incident is so a large, so disturbing, right.
Yeah, we're talking about a massacre.
Yeah, like any other you look back in a historical event where civilians are killed in mass like that, who were Like it's not like there was some I'm seeing no reports of there being some kind of like armed standoff aside from something happened where they decided to just indiscriminately shoot into a crowd.
One hundred people dead, seven hundred injured. Yeah.
The reason, guess alec Kerkatsanez was pointing out that this is a language that is also frequently used in police killing right in the US.
Yeah, like a person dies and you weren't there.
It was chaotic, so yeah, yeah.
Yeah, this is just all and again like this this is now affecting According to the White House, it said this is certainly going to complicate uh ceasefire negotiations. I mean, just as people looking on at what is unfolding, it seems pretty straightforward that the president needs to be being
more forceful about a ceasefire. I see a lot of also people who are being online who are saying like, well, obviously things like this like diplomacy, foreign policy, stuff like this isn't going to happen unfold in front of your eyes on TV, on social media. They're doing everything they
can behind the scenes. But to see this kind of like unrestrained violence just taking place so frequently, it's like I'm not what is being said, and it's just like my god, Like you could, at least as president, be even more forceful. I know, he says like, yeah, we're
calling for us eastfire. But on the other hand, you know, Joe Biden at the start of this was like, we'll give Israel whatever they need to do with this, and yeah, so we're continuing to live in a healthscape where the media is just doing all the heavy lifting for these regimes as innocent people's just entire families are a race.
It's yeah, twenty four.
Yeah, all right, let's take a quick break. We'll be right back, and we're back. We are, and there's a sort of ish article reporting. I mean, so's anecdotal, right, it's just so anecdotal. It's like somebody's like, yeah, my kid said, my name is old print printed. It's in BuzzFeed. They're the names that are being The headline is basically, millennials, your names might be considered old people names by the youths them these days. So just let's uh, yeah.
That's fine, that's fine.
I don't give a shit. I like, truly, I grew up with the oldest of old people names in the Bible. When my name no Jack. When I was a kid, the only people named Jack were me and people who were in there like over the age of sixty. It's it was like nobody had the name Jack except me, and like my grandfather and my grandfather's generation. It was just like an old ass person's name.
Yeah, for a lot of the eight back in the eighties.
Yeah, now it's back, but like for a while, I don't know, like who gives a ship, but it's people are so obsessed with being young. But anyways, we've got names like Ashley, Amanda, Amber. Somebody pointed out on social media, if you got a shout out in Mambo number five, congrats you now have a granny name.
Messed up.
There's a lot of Jessica as opposed to so the young people's names are Scarlett, Charlotte, Olivia, Penelope, Isabella, Bella, Ella Ella Ella Ella. But yeah, Erica, Samantha, Amanda, Ashley, Jessica, Jesse, jess We got bad news.
I mean, who, I guess if we compare the names, what puts you on more of a watch list by getting a shout out on Combo number five or DMX is what these bitches want.
I don't remember the part where he gives Laticia, Linda, Felicia, Donda, Shawn and Alicia, Teresa, Monica, Sharon, Nikki, Lisa, Veronica, Karen, Vicky Karen definitely, uh yeah, well.
I met her at the ice cream Partler, Tanya, Diane, Laurie, Carla, Marina, Selina, Katrina, h Sabrina about three camps, LaToya and Tina.
I think I think that's you're more safe if you were called out on the DMX track than Monica, Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra Mary Jessica.
That's the one that really seems like.
The Jessica getting Jessica catching hands in this article. It feels like it was just like a a person who doesn't like someone named Jessica was like, my daughter says, your name sucks shit.
But isn't it like almost like a mathematical fact that every person who was probably like a millennial elder millennial knows Jessica or went to school with a Jessica.
Yeah, like a six degrees of Kevin Bacon for Jessica.
Yeah, like I was telling you, like I dated three people named Jessica, like in a row once when I was a teenager.
He certainly has a type. And weirdly it's people named Jessica. Oh can I help you know?
I'm fine, Well, Jessica, if you needthing, what your name's Jessica.
I don't think I ever dated a girl named Jessica. Katie was over oversampled in my.
Uh oh okay history.
Yeah, yeah, that was a big one. But Katie's kind of always around.
I feel like, wow, they say Jesse's, jess Britney's are catching strays, Ashlee's, Erica's, Samantha's.
Wow, I remember Heather really going off a cliff. Like even as I was a kid, it was like big in the eighties, and then by the time I was like a teenager, people were like, by the way, just FYI, everyone Heather is washed. If your name is Heather h you might want to change it.
Yeah, please get into this nondescript fan yeah, where you'd be whisked away to Washedville.
That's why I mean, I've been trying to do this for a while, but I'm thinking of changing my name to Cad Matrix like that. That's just like.
Matritrix sounds like like an NFL quarterback who's addicted to games. Though, Like you're like, if Caid Matrix could just put the controller down, this guy would be he'd be coming for Tom Brady's title as goat.
Yeah, but unfortunately he's always in my gaming chair.
You know, any caids.
I see that name pop up a lot on social media as like a name.
I don't know any cads per.
Hed it at like the playground, you know, like I feel like it's coming back for sure? Is it all because of Caid McNown Yeah, that guy Cunningham. I would assume, who's Kate McNown.
Cade McNown dude, football quarterback. He played for the I think I only remember him because he played for U C l A. And he had like he fell off hard.
After that.
Yeah, all right, well sorry to you. If having a name that is no longer on trend is to us.
It's fine, it doesn't matter.
It's fine. I feel like your name is going to be Your name is going to be cool for probably got another at least one hundred years, and.
It's got it's got mileage. It's creeping up the chart.
You not mileage. I mean, this guy has has been talking about how cool his name is for so long. He has little cliches that he did exactly. Uh. And game sent speaking of my new career as CAID, Speaking of my new careers CAID Matrix professional gamer and football player. Uh. Game Scent is a new device that I mean, there's no reason this should be an AI device, but they are using that to sell it. A new AI device that lets you smell game worlds while playing.
Is do you like strap a box? Oh wait, it's a box you just leave like in front of you. Yeah, okay, like sure, Like what are they they said it some of the game. Yeah, what is the sense that you can get from here?
Yeah, I think you're gonna know, You're going to just get a sensory memory for all of these. You of course have gunn fire, you have great which smells like I have fireworks display. Probably you have explosion.
Let me stop you there.
This is already so dystopian that there are people who would hook up a fucking tiny odor box while they play games like Oh that's what.
You know, just just gaunt violence. It smells like two of the three so far our gunpowder. Essentially you've got racing. Wait, I like that is that just gonna be gasoline? What do we what kind of what level? What kind of octane?
We talk high octane, Well, we're talking riding lawnmower.
Racing is quote clean air that that's the only one that's end quotes for some reason, that is dystoped. That might be the most dystopian of ball. Get to create the illusion that you're playing a video game in a world with clean air.
Oh wow, I remember that.
Yeah, those are the days storm. I feel like an artist. I would trust an artist to like create the smell of storm. I would not create game scent a box that you put in front of your TV. I feel like, yeah, Storm is just gonna That's like if you get a car freshener, you know, a car air freshener that's scented as storm, It's like, oh what this just tastes like it's available now?
Yeah, Jack, can you buy one for the show? And I'll I'll do a heart to factory reset on my brain. I probably just hold it to my.
How we pull you out of the hard factory RecA.
Hey, set it to fresh air, then explosions, then storm.
Yeah, Storm and Forest would be good if you were really this was like being created by the foremost scientists at MIT. But I feel like in the hands of somebody who is just releasing a box and being like, yeah, I don't know, tell them there's AI in there. This is gonna smell like shit.
Yeah, And there's apparently there are.
There's going to be updates in the future, including Sports Arena, Fresh Cut Grass and Blood. Why Yeah, because I want to play Left for Dead, my zombie game, and be like, yeah, dude, I'm glad I can smell the rotting corpses. I'm exploding with my shotgun now, Jesus, that's I don't know man. Also, like you know, kids aren't gonna be able to lie anymore if they tell their parents they weren't playing games like I.
Smell gun up there, I spell explosion. All right, well, those are some of the things that are trending on this Thursday, February twenty ninth. We are back tomorrow with a whole ass episode of the show. Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to you all tomorrow. Bite Bite,