ACAB Includes Shrek, Scotchgard Apocalypse! 06.06.24

And I got that from method Man. His method Man was the king of rocking unorthodox headwear, like using a paper towel as a headband, and shit, I thought that was the coolest. Shit.

Paper towel is a headband pressed me so much.

Jo You would take like along like from a public bathroom paper towel, like maybe like two and a half feet long, and fold it over so it's like this thick and then put that on like that, tie it up. Boom.

Yeah, MTV cribs and ODB antics kind of like maybe being as trash as possible while living a luxurious life.

It's like the best form of anything as a kid.

Uh yeah, it was like blank check that Disney movie, Like that's that's what I thought being an adult would be like if you have isn't there a.

Scene where a grown woman kisses that young boy?

Probably it's probably problematic.

I don't remember.

I saw it as like an eight year old and then locked it in as like an aspirational goal and then and and then never saw it again.

So I should date more grown women, not that.

You know what, or just like I remember that movie had me thinking like literally, if you found a blank check, it's over for the person who had the check. You know what I mean? Like that you could do like three billion dollars, asshole, this fuck.

That'll be three billion, thank you. Yeah, and your ma jet for the rest of you.

Like a blank check of a bank account that only has like eleven dollars. Yeah, those people's banks accounts, Like.

You're like this, ooh, you fucked up. They're like you've overdrafted.

Oh damn, I'll put fifty one hundred million dollars.

All right, I'll bring it down three million. No, No, I could get forty two cents. Basically, That's where.

I learned all my financial literacy from. That's why I'm such a financial genius.

Is that blank check? Like you just keep telling your wife, babe, once I find one of those blank checks.

Yeah? Were that and the uh Danny Boyle movie where the kids find a big bag of money? Those are my two financial plans.

Playing check or come upon bags of cash.

Hello the Internet, and welcome to Season three forty one, Episode four of der DAILY'SAI Guys Say production of iHeartRadio. This is a podcast where we take a deep dive into America's cheric consciousness. It's Thursday, June sixth, twenty twenty four.

Oh yeah, it's takes Day. You got two four? Oh yeah, National Higher Education Day, National Gardening Exercise Day, Hey do some gardening exercise? National drive in movie Day? Remember those National Apple Sauce Cake Day. Never had that National Yo Yo Day, National eyewear Day. And of course it's the fucking what does it not? Eightieth Anniversary of the D

We're the good guys by default. The next eight hundred years, we're one tenth of the way through.

Who knows, maybe the next five it might, it might happen, It might happen Quicker than you you can.

You can realize we have a d Day anecdote in one of the stories on Today's Duck. We'll see if we get to it. Where's really too it's the goldfish one anyways. Uh my name is Jack O'Brien aka lift me up before you go go if they aren't swollen, and then that's an no. No limph me up before you go go and let me ogle them nodes. That is courtesy of we'ren the wear Bear on the Discord in reference to me getting hornie for miles of plump lymph nodes.

They're going down, Babe. You know that's right, Joy, I should have enjoyed them while they lasted, although I'm still contested. Oh I did, oh, I did draw me like one of your French girls.

Also, I want to give credit the ninety nine poop balloons aka Yesterday was a collaboration between you current do that on television who I mentioned, but also.

Charlie's a the originally Charlie x Oh is that the Toxic Celtics fan listen the Boosty's Discord service? Is it Charlie Big? So that's you, you Big Celtics.

Never mind, I take it last credit, dude, A good one, bro. We're thrilled. I'm thrilled to be joined as always by my co mister Miles grat It's.

Miles Gray AKA, and I would wait six point eight weeks to dress up to go trick or treat. I don't get how you get six point eight weeks because it's apposed to be seventeen. I don't get it. Don't get don't get it, don't get I don't get it.

Get this stupid shit.

Shout out peanut, Buddy Brown. Because I'm still I've had people say I had my brother in law text me. He's like, I was listening to the show. Here's my theory.

I need you.

He's like, yeah, I need to shut the fuck up about this before I lose all respect for you. But he was also thinking, He's like, people constantly misremember the bookend summer holidays, Memorial Day and Labor Day.

That was my initial thuck.

But my thing is, where the fuck are the sports of July come into it? Wait?

Is maybe maybe Labor Day is six point eight weeks from all hallo z.

The days between Halloween and Labor Day. I don't I don't know how any of this works, to be.

Honest, So how many days until Halloween.

Yeah day, Sorry to jump in, but yeah, I just please, Labor Day is the beginning of September and October. September Halloween is the end of October, like two months essentially.

Yeah, weeks.

So yeah, that's that. Ain't six point eight again?

Six point eight?

It's fucking nonsense.

What the fall?

I'm so sorry that I have to keep bringing this up. But another theory dusted. You're wrong, mild, but I got a date calculator. Look, everybody's just trying to make sense of it.

It's the paragraph in an eminem's press release that we just can't make sense of.

Caitlin, Oh okay, I was wondering what this it's.

Fifty nine days?

Yeah, no, we don't. We just you jump right into the deep end on this one. Unfortunately.

Yeah, yeah, no, not buying it. A month and twenty nine days still is not enough. I'm sorry.

Well, while Miles is over there puzzling, just with clouds of numbers swirling around his head like in a beautiful mind? Does that happen in a beautiful mind? Or is that like a false memory?

Oh?

Do they do actual numbers around his head? Oh that's a little that's just that feels a little stupid for that, but even for that.

Movie corn of your movie then.

You remember, yeah, yeah, exactly, we let him get away with any anything back then.

Wait, it is, isn't it the one that has like there's that meme with like the Confused Lady. But isn't that like that's like a meme from like a Brazilian show, Like there's like a you know, the meme where it's like the white woman and there's like all these like fucking geometric shapes around to.

Be like oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Anyway, math Lady. I think it's called math Lady.

H Hey, we are thrilled, Miles to be joined in our third seat by a very talented writer, stand up comedian, podcast host of Oh Shit, Now I Get It, The Bechdel Cast, which takes down the patriarch one movie at a time.

They all Jack, by the way, you're the only I feel like no one ever refers to the Bechdel Cast in that way. I know, it's like never, It's like not on any I don't know.

I just made that up at some point and I was like, this is good. They're gonna want me to keep bringing this up over and over like it's their catchphrase that they came up with.

I think at some point when we were like joining the network, it was like, we need a tagline. Came up with it, and that's I think I came up with it. How dare you not?

Okay? Okay, I am very good.

But then we never used it again, like Jamie or like and but you're like, this is it? This is I'm gonna is it?

Cut to crickets.

You're walking down the street. I just drive by Durante taking out the patriarchy one movie at a time, right, yeah, And.

I'm like, you me, the fun is that, Caitlin, I don't.

Know, just keep walking anyways. I just it's a good catphrase.

I wrote it.

Yea also happened to have a master's degree in film.

You also, I don't like to mention it, but.

You hate to mention that, And you're gonna now do a couple of minutes on how I keep bringing that up and you refuse to ever talk about it. Also, the most anagrammable name in the English language, possibly.

So when you know other people have numbers and mass symbols floating around their head, I've got letters.

Of my name, don't.

Niles.

Mm hmmm. Do you have any new ones? Yeah, no, we've really depleted the options, I fear.

Yeah. Now it's like breaking it down into like like two regular words and then like two nonsensical words.

Yeah, yeah, yes exactly.

I'm gonna just see what else we got here.

Yeah, yeah, Now I'm trying to do one on the fly. Like, there's definitely urinated is in there?

Yes?

Have we done that before?

There's definitely urine. One of one of the ones I've come up with has urine, but amazing urinated.

Nature cat in lid uh huh in lid in neutral.

There we go.

There are new ones.

Yeah, details waiting to be discovered. Caitlin, it's wonderful to have you back on the show.

Thanks for having me.

L net cat India.

That's the new worldwide protocol for Yeah, it's a webe web far Yeah yeah. All right, Well we're going to get to know you a little bit better in a moment. First, we're going to tell the listeners a couple of the things that we're talking about today. We're going to talk about the candidate from Missouri, Valentina Gomez, who keeps calling everything in America weekend gay and recently got fired. Nope, actually fired the company. Y yeah, fired, Yeah, just so

Mm is that have you ever played? Have you ever let's think, have you ever thought that spicy dell pickles is for me?

Yeah?

That's a Kendrick reference. Yeah, I'm I've had spicy dill pickles. There's one's called like Devil's spit that I get.

That's a damn dog that sounds tough as hell.

Yeah, that reminds me of the Shrek's piss. Drink I made recently.

Oh, go on, tell is it just something you called it that?

Or there was a recipe on someone's Instagram page and my friend sent it to me and I was like, Oh, I'm trying to do promo for what at the time was the upcoming Bechtel cast Shrek tannec tour. It has since past, but I was like, oh, what if I make a video of me mixing this wondrous cocktail that is Shrek's piss and and it was disgusting.

Come on, that's a clever name. It's not just a clever name the same.

Well, it's like madori, which is green, and then like apple Pucker, which is green green ship it's like mostly green liqueur, and then you add in some like lime juice and some other kind of mixery type stuff. But at the end of the day, it was way too sweet and tasted pretty nasty.

Holy yea, I haven't thought about midori in fucking like decades.

Well, welcome back.

Yeah, I did not need that, all right, Well.

Heylen, I just showed Shrek to my kids. The the first Trek a huge hit, A huge hit, the first Shrek, the second Shrek. Did I don't. We stopped watching after the first one many minutes, but it seemed like a giant drop off.

Because that's a period film, it starts out a little shitty. I'm okay, but we just need you just need to let Puss and Boots get on screen.

Oh yeah, you just need to let Shrek to breathe like a fine bottle of Shreks.

I like the idea of you watching it with your young kids, like dad, this is like boring. Hey, let's Shrek cook Man. Let them. Let wait till Puss get in the picture. Bro, it can be completely different. Let him cook.

I didn't have any memory of it, so I didn't know what what we were waiting for. But now I do, and I have some enjoyable film viewing to look forward to. Nice. But before we get to all the all those news stories, Caitlin, we do like to ask our guests, what is something from your search history that is revealing about who you are.

It's another Shrek thing. I'm not even joking. Get string down. It is Shrek rave l A. I googled it because people keep talking about these Shrek raves. So a Shrek rave is a thing. It's an event you buy a ticket for it. You go dressed up as a Shrek character and you just rave all night long.

Yo, it's fucking tomorrow.

It's tomorrow.

What the fuck are you gonna go tomorrow?

Friday, June seventh, Yes.

I.

Would palladium. I Well, the thing is, I don't have anything to wear, so I could maybe try to cobble something together last minute, but right now I don't have the appropriate.

Oh, like, you have to pull up in Shrek regalia.

Everyone else is, so I'm also want to be some outsider, some loser who's not participating.

Don't do that.

You gotta come correct with your Shrek outfit. So people do like switch sticks. They're like, dude, win your tickets to Shrek Rave.

Yeah yeah, wow, now I know what me and my kids are doing this weekend.

Take your kids do a rave, you do like a full on even if it is Shrek, they're gonna end up seeing Inevitably, there's always people at a rave that did too much ecstasy and are sitting down crying somewhere.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've never been to a rave, how much less.

There's always a Yeah, there's always a couple, like a shirtless dude and a scantily clad, like girlfriend who's raved out and then they're having a big fight. They're just all these tropes you have at raves. I mean, yeah, maybe it is good people watching for the kids.

Far to kids for the kids. You know, what is something that you think is underrated?

Dating without intention, which is something I've been doing quite a lot, and it's just it takes a lot of the pressure off of dating. Well, I'm not out here trying to find anything. In particular, I'm not going in with much in the way of expectations. And part of that is because the bar for male behavior is low. But you know, I go in with the expectation that I'll be like treated well and stuff. But I it's bleak out there. Let me tell you, ye, dating is

I mean, like, are you saying so the intent being I don't need to I don't have to go into this saying like every day I go on is to potentially find the person who I can have like a meaningful long term relationship. You're sort of switching gears, so like I'm meeting people I don't really expect shit, and if I meet somebody that's cool, that's a bonus.

Exactly, yes, got it. So not that I'm like very like oriented toward uh finding like a long term monogamous relationship like that isn't super my thing anyway, but I'm like, oh, maybe one day I'd like to have some kind of companionship. But now you ever, like, well, mister Wright, I'm afraid doesn't exist.

So I'm just like, you're truly shrek brained. You're not waiting for Prince Charming. You're waiting. It's treck.

And that that is an expectation. But I don't know. Yeah, I'm just sort of like I'm gonna just have a night where I'm not sitting at home by myself and I'm you know, meeting a new person and it'll probably go anywhere from mediocre to badly, but it's a way to pass the time. So that's how I work dating. Dating, Yeah, pretty much?

Right, right? Right? What's a non shitty date? Look likely not to say stellar, but just not shit.

I mean someone who can carry a conversation and who I don't end up arguing with. Because the past few dates I've been on, I have like gotten in a fight with them, and like a date I went on recently, he was like carrying on about how it's pointless to protest, and he was specifically talking about like pro Palestine protests, and I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, And he was like annoyed at the like effects of protests, and he's like, oh, people are trying to get places

Kiln is currently like seconds from punching this person in the note just based on the.

Yeah, yeah, I love it. It got very heated, so yeah, I.

Mean I get it. Yeah, it's fucking wild, like, especially when you're looking for someone to potentially like relate to that they're so far off with something where they're like honestly like people being up in arms over a genocidal campaign happening someplaces, not even here, Like it's annoying, and if you're like Oh that's your fucking worldview, then we have nowhere.

To fuck truly. I was like, there's no world in which we would ever have anything to talk about or get along about anything.

And so who do you have empathy for those people who are trying to get places?

Dude?

People sitting in traffic, like, traffic sucks?

And while I get to like, yeah, you see things where people like I'm legitimately having to go, I'm gonna lose my Like, I get that there are all sorts of extenuating circumstances that make that disruptive, but yet to say things like and because it's annoying, don't fucking do it?

Yeah, he's like, what about the people at Starbucks who like have to get to work? I'm like, well, that's a problem with capitalism, not a problem with the protesters. Like do you not see any see the world?

What do you like? What are these antifas?

What is something you think is overrated?

Sorry, sorry to start screaming on the podcast.

No, no, no, get it out. I like, like, I'm someone as someone who's so ignorant of what the modern dating world is like. And I mean I have single friends who everyone says the same fucking thing. I'm like, what I mean, backyard, I don't I don't know what the difference is like. And that's like the hard thing to wrap my head around is like, is it that it's too many options? Because for me, I was like, I'm

Who many options of the problem. I think it's more just the quality of the options that are available is kind of at an all time you're too high valuable, right, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.

That's a yeah. I feel like I've seen an unofficial trend online of people being like it's really hard for guys on these dating apps. Like I just helped my roommate with like his dating profile and he didn't get any bites and he's good looking and like he's awesome, so what's going on?

And people have standards?

Yeah. Someone had a theory though that because of like the frequency of new dates, you can get to that like the Again, this was someone's take on Twitter that I'm not entirely sure is accurate. Or not, but that it's different than like when before pre app dating, like you'd meet someone and just you try to make it work because you're like, I don't know, let's see, let me try to make it work, and then from there you either adapt to someone or don't and move on.

Well, that's something I now do, like immediate in the middle of the first date. I'm like, if I sense.

That hud for something like that, that's disqualifying for sure.

Yeah. Do you always tell them you're leaving or do you ever just like pretend?

One time I did consider, uh, just walking out the side door and running away, but I didn't. I was like, I just like sat back down. I was like, so I'm gonna leave now. I don't think we're connecting at all and I have to go. And he's like, oh, all right, well no, we can't all be for everybody. He took it surprisingly well, and I was like, so true, so true.

Are you mad that I again?

Are you mad that I insisted on this date being at Lappoo Belle. I thought it's cool that this is where Danny Masterson always used to hang out. Yeah, there's like a huge thing because the owner of Lapoo Bell is also like a big Danny Masterson defender a lot.

Yeah yeah, wait, that's that French restaurant near uc By Frank Okay, never go there again. I've only been like once or twice, so yeah, yeah, yeah, but never.

A master saying you go into the poobe later. What are we talking man?

LPs dude? Later?

What is something, Caitlin that you think is overrated?

I thought Furiosa was overrated?

Wow, seen it, But I'm I hold your opinion in high regard. So to hear this, I would like to hear more.

Thank you. Well, to be fair, I do put Mad Max's Fury Road on a pretty high pedestal.

I've seen the tattoo.

I have a tattoo about it. I've seen that movie well over sixty times, so, you know, normals, normal behavior on my part.

But it came in with a pretty level head about But I was.

Ready okay, So I went in being like, all right, it's probably not going to live up to Fury Road, not much can. In my eyes, I see it as more or less a perfect film. But I was like, I was still kind of expecting. I don't know, I don't know what I was expecting. Actually, my expectations were kind of low because when the first trailer dropped and it looked weird and looked way too rendered and cgi, I was like, oh no. But then I heard reviews coming out that were like, no, he's done it again.

I loved it so much, typical regular human being regular.

It's good.

The popcorn was good. Impression I realized.

Fell how but I stand by it. No, it was. It was a shitty thing for me to say. Even so, they're wrong, and I'm right.

How many times have you seen it? By the way, I've.

Only seen it once, and I do want to watch it again in theaters to just give the full like to have a fair assessment as much as I can. I thought that visually it was not as impressive. The action set pieces were not as as fun and impressive as Fury Road. And again I'm comparing this to Fury Road as a standalone movie. It's yeah, so it was. It just didn't quite live up visually because there's also like more reliance on c g I than Fury Road because so much of those effects were practical and I'm

Right, right? It's not until like almost halfway in.

Wait, what I mean, She's Ania Taylor Joy shows up later on because the first chunk of the movie is her as like a younger child. Even so, like it's a focus on I mean, I feel like the story is like really milking the fact that Chris Hemsworth is there and he's like chewing up the scenery a lot of the time. And then there's just like other characters and like scenes where Furiosa will be present, but she's not like driving the action of the scene or she's

Uh and.

Exactly so well again, Furious it was the one driving most of the narrative in Fury Road, so I was like expecting the same deal for Furiosa and it just didn't quite happen. So, I mean, I walked away from it feeling like emotionally affected. But then the more I think about it, the more I'm like, I'm not sure it's as great as everyone's saying it is.

Would you put it on par with like some of the previous Mad Max films.

I mean, I am not really a fan of any of those one because so hard to stomach. Mel Gibson and Number two, I don't know, they're just to me there, it's a different camp because the budgets for those were so much lower. The kind of again the effects and stuff, I don't know. I just I'm not like a a purist when it comes to Mad Max. I'm all about that Fury Road life.

Yeah, exactly, they messed up. They should have called it Fury roadsa so then people at least, you know what I mean, just connected a little.

Damn.

That's my that's my terrible idea for Jordan.

That's why you should get notes from Miles Gray on all your blockbusters.

So I'm saying, man, charge nothing for this terrible opinion.

It does feel like there's this theory on like aw tours, like you can follow these their their careers and like some of them are like trying all these different things out, and then some of them are making the same movie over and over again and just trying to get it right. And I feel like you could say that George Miller kind of kept making like I'm pretty sure one of the Mad Max's was just a straight up remake of a previous one with just a bigger budget.

And maybe I I've only seen each of the original trilogy ones, but the first one was literally like a student film. There was like no budget for yeah whatsoever?

Was like shit, that was the one I like went back. I was like, Wow, the people talk about these movies, can't wait to see it, and it's like, this looks like shit. Georgia Miller and I did reach out to him and let him know thank you. But yeah, there was the first one that like looked like a Mad Max movie with like master Blaster and stuff. I thought

Prequel?

The other one really need because we have all the information the furios of the movie gives us.

So he's like I already like worked out the beats, and while I was like kind of writing, yeah, but we don't need to see it.

We don't need to see it, We don't. I wish what would have happened is what like and Or did for the Star Wars universe, where like kind of it takes a character that we like vaguely know about from one of the like minor Star Wars movies and then expands the world from there, but you know, and introduces new lore and new concepts and ideas and blah blah blah. Yeah, so I think they should have done the same thing with like the Mad Max universe. Yeah, that's just my humble expert opinion.

And Miles is that it should have been called Fury Roads.

Fury Roads, Yeah.

And more of the cocaine guitar guy.

Yeah, you should go to a Shrek rave.

Oh my dude, see a Fury Road rave, get people. People will absolutely fun. Dude. The second that guy comes out on that fucking guitar, just befome shooting out. People are just gonna be overdosing immediate.

People are dying of chrome spray paint ingestion.

Everyone is just huffing metallic spray paint to be like, dude, it's like the movie. You're like, you're killing your brain.

You're actually dying right now due more tango, please.

Sup.

Producer Justin points out that that might be Burning Man what we're describing. Okay, and I'll go to Burning Man.

But it's like expensive, and I don't want to be in the back of a pickup truck with diplow and Chris Rock who think the world is ending.

I want to be on a helicopter with Elon Musk. That's the way to do burning Man. Let's take a quick break and we'll come back and talk about just how badly the Republican Party can fuck up Pride Month.

We'll be right back, and we're back. We're back, and we're yeah, we're back. It is Pride Month, and there has been a predictable onslaught of homophobic bullshit from conservative media, conservative politicians.

Yeah, you've got the FRC, the Family Research Council, which is the absolute homophobic freak show that's like there right now. They're like celebrating sports teams that have not posted about Pride while also claiming that like major sports have like rejected the concept completely. And while that's not true completely, there are definitely a few teams that are holding out on acknowledging the month, which is disheartening. Like I think there's only one team in baseball, the Texas Rangers, that

It could be any you want, can.

So hard.

She said, you can be anything, so don't be weak and gay, be fucking hard. And then it's like a fucking just a collage of her holding guns and then it's like, Valentino Gomez from Missouri Secretary of State.

Doesn't she realize that America would be such a better place if everyone was weak.

And gay gay Yeah, we probably wouldn't be in the starting wars all the time. I'm like, not really for us, you know, to be honest, but we are. We are having a fantastic ball if someone wants to come through and you know, see if they can actually really get served in this arena.

A gay Shrek ball.

But yo, could you imagine that death drops for people in a Shrek costume? Get get down, just and look. She also proved how hetero and non groomer she is because she also so used to fucking blow torts like a flamethrower to set fire to books by LGBTQ plus authors. All of this is a great distraction from the even bigger thing here, which is she is totally unqualified for the position she's even running for. But again, make a

Own, And I think, did she make too much noise? Dude?

She's just spread too much truth, man, so much truth that I mean in most instances when you're like, I'm not working for the place anymore because my company said they're unhappy with me. That's usually because the employer is letting go of the employee. Oh not here, No, not here, motherfucker, this trucking patrion. She ain't fucking going down without a fight.

This company tried to keep me choirs for speaking up against the pornographic material in our children's libraries.

Like today, I fire them.

No amount of money, stock, or bullying would make me compromise my values. So I will never support a company that wants to empower and protect pedophiles and rumors in our schools and libraries. So figuo dug something that is now weak and gay? This is good versus evil.

Don't we don't be weakend gay week in gay dot com.

This is for someone running for secretary of state and their whole platform is just to be like Purina dog food is weak in k Yeah, and that's just the level of fucking just backwards discourse. So yeah, she fired them she was not fired because that's just just very healthy outlook that she has. But also other shit happening in Utah. The governor in Utah is using Pride month as a way to cool build bridges between the sides. And they're like, what size the lgbt Q plus community and bigots?

I think, Oh, it's we gotta hear out both sides.

Absolutely. He says June should be a time to exchange ideas and see how everyone experiences Pride. Quote he said in this declaration that quote, those who do not identify with, celebrate, or support Pride celebrations nevertheless share the experience of being marginalized.

Thank you at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

In you, we love our children, and we hope to live in such a way that our children will forever love us. And even if at times you may disagree over deeply held personal so fucking wild, Like, what a load of fucking horse. These people are not persecuted by our children, Yeah for not loving us enough, because we're so we're so bigoted and hateful that we refuse to let people be like Again, you people who do not

Man, We're an endangered species, all.

Right, we need protection. Going the way of Shrek man. Hate to say we're going the way of Shrek man. Our swamp is in danger.

Man.

I just want to live on my bug by myself and to have my kids forced to come live with me and honor everything that I believe.

Yeahs as, I have an absolute crisis talking to a donkey and a cat wearing boots that I call my friends, you know, they say.

Okay, why don't we be smirching Shrek?

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

This is not fair.

This is someone, This is someone who thinks they got it like Shrek and they don't. You don't have it like Shrek or Shrek is Shrek a ally?

Actually? No? Okay, okay, good thing with Shrek one And you might have noticed this Jack upon watching it recently, but he's like pissed off that all of these So basically what's happening to Shrek one is that Lord Farquaad is ethnically cleansing his kingdom and he's displacing all of these fairy tale creatures who in the context of this kingdom are marginalized, and he dumps them in Shrek's swamp and Shrek is fury that they're there, and he's like, get them out of here, this is my land, Like

He's like a weird mercenary.

First he's but he's not a boot liquor either. It's not he's like, yo, man, like, I get what pro.

Monarchy until he fucking marries a princess and then in Shrek two he like goes to the kingdom to meet the parents, and then in Shrek three he becomes a stand in for king the King. So actually he loves the monarchy.

At this piece. So does acab include Shrek?

Yeah?

I would say, so do.

We need to start Do we need to start announcing that at the top of the mountain, just so you know, a cab also includes Shrek? Yes, just so fucking.

Know Trek is the villain of Shrek.

Shrek. Wow. Yeah, I again, just back on this Utah thing. It's just so wild when they're like, let's use this moment to center ourselves and and and it'll be a testament to our myopic self victimization. It'll be fantastic. It's going to be fantastic. The dominant culture has to make space for marginalized people, and now we are the oppressed. Humiliating anyway, aboud treck fact that they just start talking about we love in Utah, we love our children, and we hope to live in such a way that.

Our children will forever love us, even if at times we may disagree. Like they just immediately like go into this weird like subtweeting of their kids in legislation for like not agreeing with their fucked up, like hateful viewpoint.

It's yeah, dying alone, bigot boomer apologia they're doing, you know what I mean. It's just like so because that I mean, that is a thing you see like a lot, Like I've seen a lot of people talk about how like there are so many.

People like I just I don't I don't even talk to my kids, I don't even see my grandkids anymore because I'm so backwards. But they're still using that, like and I feel like I've got a scarlet letter on or something exactly just because I didn't I know.

What it was like to be a black panther.

Wait what, I'm sorry, I don't think you do.

That's why I also celebrate. I understand February. It's also a month for me. Yeah, that's amazing history. All right, Uh, let's take a quick break. I can't fucking believe that story. That's truly rarely am I speechless, but fucking.

Utah, you've done it again. It does again, famous line from point break. Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back, and we're back, and time to discuss one of my favorite ridge farms, pet Ridge Farm, makers of Goldfish, who recently unveiled a new flavor, spicy Dill Pickle, which isn't the first time that they've released a different flavor, but it does seem they got Old Bay. They got Old Bay, they got flavor blasted goldfish. Flavor blasted goldfish are fucking incredible. I got that.

It's too much. It's a hat on top of a hat for me.

No, so are the ones that are like that have like a powder on them right now?

Yeah? They have, like dorino dust.

I don't want that.

The originals to begin with, they weren't a finger altering substance.

Yeah, yeah, No, the originals are probably the best. But of the additional varieties, I do think flavor blasted original, you know, like you blasted with the original flavor. You doubled down on what was working in the first place. That is what I'm talking about. None of this fucking parmesan stuff.

Yes, that's gross.

I better stop here before I start saying stuff about Italian people that I'm gonna regret.

But Jesus, let's.

Just say I did say parmesan in a weird way there that sounded more hateful than it O. Wow, Okay, parmijeon sit on the ground.

I only like the craft ship and the green can. The fake stuff.

Yeah, give me that American cheese.

You don't.

You don't actually put American cheese on my pasta. When I'm at an Italian restaurant.

Individuals like cheese, not that ship, though I have my own what do you call them bread? Will you please take this plastic sleeve? I don't eat it any singles.

That grow.

That's how we had lasagna. I remember at my school cafeteria it was all American cheese.

Yuh grows. American cheese is objectively the worst of all the cheeses.

That were alive. Is incredible, like what we ate growing up. It's unbelievable.

Do you know how expensive American cheeses though, It's like the price does not make.

Four nine for like a thirty pack, but each pack is individually each piece is individually wrapped, so it doesn't it doesn't go bad.

Like there was like yeah, like one of those little half sacks was like on par with buying like legit just cheddar cheese, and I was like, what what the fuck are they trying to do? Like why are you charging this much for just water and oil? Yeah, in the shape of a cheese.

Whatever oil is, it has to be made in a machine, it has to be drilled out of the earth miles.

It's made with crude petroleum. That American cheese like doesn't make sense from a physics perspective. American cheese is made with jet fuel crude oil bullets.

But anyways, goldfish taking a big swing with a spicy dill pickle. There is a like market research firm somewhere that has been like guys Pickles the wave of the future, because like that, the city of la is covered in billboards for like pickle companies and like pickles that are coming out and now Goldfish is like getting in on the pickle craze. That was congratulations to them.

Yeah. About eight years ago, there were like people around here like dude, I'm starting to make pickles. And I'm like, okay, sure, man, Like thanks whatever.

I make pickles. Whenever I bought by a jar of pickles, I eat the pickles. There's a lot of pickle juice left over. And then I buy a cucumber and I wow it up and put it in the pickle juice. Let it sit, let it, you know, fester for a bit and pickles.

Yeah, and they're all a cookbook. They get that nice nice just you can you really do that?

Tho, I legitimately do that.

That is the most sustainable ship I've ever heard of, because it.

Feels wasteful to dump out all that pickle juice.

That's a lot of pickle juice or use it as brining liquid. Yeah, exactly like chicken thighs and like really grind that ship and pickle juice, because you know, that's what they say about Like the rumor was like a Chick fil A or whatever that your pickle brine or whatever. But I think in general, like it's a good salted brinding liquid. It was that. Or I would just buy a bottle of whiskey and just do a bunch of picklebacks. That too.

Oh okay, wait, wait you say it.

You're in recovery and you never were drinking picklebacks. No, drinking tequila with Tabasco sauce. That was my Like, oh I don't like this, but I can't stop drinking Casco Tabila Casco. Wow.

No, you take a shot of whiskey and then you chase it.

WITHI with pickle juice.

Goddamn it.

I was drinking. I was hooked because the way it neutralized that alcohol flavor in your mouth and gave you a little bit of that like briany like ah. I thought it was a health food for a while.

Yeah.

I was like, it's vegetable water. Yeah, this is basically what they used to drink, and lethal amounts of salt.

I'm drinking.

But okay, I you know vinegar, which I'm sure is the main ingredient in pickle juice. It's it helps with your digestion. It's good for you.

Yeah.

So there, So there. I just dumped my leftover pickle juice and my gas tank and Jesus does not go, well, yeah, that's all right, So you know, some theories have it. The Pepperidge Farm is looking to distract from the fact that they recently got sued for allegedly misleading customers with claims that goldfish crackers contain no artificial flavors or preservatives. It's wild because that phrase artificial flavors was invented to

I am so fucking stupid that you saying that just fucked up my entire worldview. Yeah, it's crazy out here, be like, oh, no artificial flavors. Yeah, except for industry is straight up some fucking wacky combo that doesn't exist in nature and would have to certainly be artificial.

I'm like, but they said no artificial flavors, But they said.

Yeah, wow, Wow, wow wow.

Which brings us to our random aside. Apparently the origin of goldfish crackers. They were originally created by a with a machine built by a World War two Nazi codebreaker who was instrumental and convincing Hitler that the Allies were set to land in Kalay not Normandy. Wow, we have goldfit.

Wait he no, no, no, he's a Nazi coach. He was breaking Nazi code. He was breaking well, that was my question. Was he a Nazi? No no, no, no, he was breaking Nazi.

A code breaker? Who was He's good.

Guy, He's jack. If I can't I can't in one go, I can't learn that artificial flavors is bullshit and I'm eating Nazi goldfish crackers. Man, Like that would have been such a blow to my entire identity.

Oh wow, okay, yeah, okay, so he on purpose wrong like convinced the wrong thing, so he was like fucking undercover.

Good for him. Yeah, I'm back on board. Oh I gotta go fish so many bags of goldfish crackers out of my garbage.

Not even this fucking third Reich bullshit.

Okay.

So anyways, though it ties into D Day, Yeah, you know, shout out to that.

I also just think it's.

Funny that like that was like an invention goldfish shaped crackers. They were like, you hear about this guy over in Germany. Crackers are shaped like little fucking goldfish and like they had to hire him to like it feels like it should be easy, but well.

It makes you wonder about like who invented the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets?

Right?

And I want there, I don't.

It'll break you.

It was Oppenheimer. I'm like, no, goddamn it, I mean these I just want to resist saying that this is the bomb, but it's damn Close's damn close. Yeah, who invented dino nuggets? Because those aren't. That's also I feel like we do need to know the history of the dino nugget.

There, I haven't had them, you know, since I was a kid. But they're delicious.

Yeah, probably, and probably terrible for you. But then that's fine, and that's fine, and that's fine.

Piss. So who am I?

I'm watching it down with the fortieth Shrek piss. Okay, that's the weeks of my words? Oh shit, amazing.

Should we do one more? We got we got a couple of kind of meatia ones.

All right?

Uh? Did you guys read the three M story?

The I remember it was getting teased out last week or the week. Yeah, got forever chemicals problem.

It's bad, man, it is so I So I finally read the three M story. We'll link off to it in the footnotes. It's a collabo between Pro Publica and

So like at first they were.

Like, well, this is no problem though, because even though the chemicals are in our bloodstream, like they're not that harmful, but they accumulate and get more and more, so we actually don't know what's going to happen. And now some people are speculating that it has it's like the cause of some types of cancer, and it's the cause of lowering like sperm count and lowering reproductive rates around the globe and it's just a again, we'll like off to it.

Okay, first of all, sounds like we need a sequel to Aaron Brockovic.

Yes, yeah, I mean I think Dark Water is somehow related to these chemirats Dark.

Darkwater is the all male reboot of Aaron Brockovic. A Brockovich. I don't know if anyone saw that movie, but I did in theaters brag. And I forget what company. It's not three a M. It was a different company that Mark Ruffalo's character was like learning that like all this like Tefton or something is in drinking water yeah, DuPont yes, yeah, and a bunch of people were being poisoned by their drinking water in a certain region, And so I guess we just need another movie to complete the stream.

Yeah, that's what it takes. Like did you see the movie about three It's like that pro public article came out seventeen years ago, right, You're like, oh no, yeah, but the movie's great. Anya Taylor Joy is fantastic as the human manifestation of one of those p Foss chemicals Powerhouse Performance, Powerhouse Performance.

It is wild, like how like there's a part of me like I had been incepted with goodwill towards this company by like articles that were just yeah, we're just like and this we think your stuff ingenuity works, and like yeah, we're just like kind of the people behind the people. And like once you read about them, you start looking around and you see like, oh three M is like their labels on everything. And for me that was like a fun discovery back back in you know,

Yeah, damn, it was wild too, because I remember they like a few years ago, like right before the pandemic, they were trying to get legislation through that three M was fighting hard about designating these chemicals as like fucked up, and they were successful at defeating that legislation. And now we're like, yeah, because it's so fucking bad. Cool cool all right?

Yeah, I mean yeah, so need a new system.

Anyway, That's what I'm saying. Just take eat a handful of goldfish, wash it down with some Shrek piss.

Yeah.

I might just have to get out there and like help people with the misinformation. Like this is the only way we're going to get folks.

Yeah, let's do it.

Yeah. But yeah, drink your Shrek piss, eat your goldfish.

Thank you so much.

Take down three Am, Caitlin. What a pleasure having you.

As always on the show, the pleasure is online.

Where can people find you? And that's not true, by the way. The pleasure is also our stop being greedy about the pleasure.

Stop being greedy about the pleasure.

Lady Wow, I was talking about earlier with dating.

That guy was me by the way, you have to just walk out of it. I'm just saying it's hard for me to get to places where can people find you, follow you all that good stuff.

I'm mostly on Instagram these days at Kaitlyn Deronte. You can also check out my website Kaitlyn Durante dot com. I post my upcoming screenwriting classes I teach. The summer sessions are all filled up, but I'm going to be teaching stuff in the fall. Both my intro class and

And does the damn Bechdel Cast what does the Bechdel cast do? If you had to just like kind of put it in a single sent.

I would say it maybe like takes down the patriarchy one movie at a time.

Okay, hey, that's pretty good.

All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, amazing.

Can I use that? You can use it to back just anything. I like this restaurant here. It takes down the patriarchy one film.

At a time.

Long is he talking about?

I don't know. I don't have much to say.

American cheese and.

In various forms.

Is there a work of media that you've been enjoying.

Oh, I would recommend everyone check out the show We Are Lady Parts. Season two recently dropped. It's on Peacock. Ever heard of it? So yeah, catch up on season one and then watch season two. It's a great show. It's so funny and it's so charming.

We did a stream and corner with super producer on hose Enate for season one, and we will be doing a streaming corner for season two of We Are Lady Parts. So n everybody that that is not just a piece of media that is being enjoyed by Caitlin, it's also an assignment if you want, if you want to know what the fuck we're talking about on that episode Amazing Miles. Where can people find you as their work media you've been enjoyed?

Uh?

Yeah, you can find me on Twitter and Instagram at Miles Gray. You can find us on the basketball podcast Jack and Miles, Miles and Jack Got Mad BOOSTI is however you want to however you want to order that? And also on four twentyance talking ninety Day Fiance and the latest episode of My Mama Told Me. That's the Langston Kerman and David Moory podcast. Let's see. I don't know if I had let me, let me just look at Did I like anything? I don't know if I liked anything?

Do I have any works of media.

That I liked?

Oh?

Actually, yes, yes, yes, yes yes uh. This is actually from your co host, Jamie Loftis at Jamie Loftis help tweeted this like last week. I remember when Babu Frick came out this. She was always talking about how down she is with bab people. Babu freak out here this tweet. I love it's it's a picture of Babu Frick and Jamie tweeted. Five years later, I remained Babu Frick's only fan, and no one but me has the Babu Frick toy and the Babu Frick crop top I have. I haven't

You can find me on Twitter at Jack Underscore O'Brien uh tweet I've been enjoying MS Grace cooling ship. Schmidt tweeted, I built a squatty potty out of Mahogany, with a picture of the squatty potty built out of mahogany and left at London tweeted eminem lyrics since two thousand and nine, build a squatty potty out of mahan.

Wow, hey, I get it, Build a squaddy.

Shit way too many napkins and then please be nice. Gn e I s S tweeted in response to the recent ch Podle story, me more teeth dentist, what me recording video? No skipping now.

Forties.

You can find all right for us on Twitter at daily zekeus. We're at d dailyes I Gus on Instagram. We have a Facebook vampage website dailyzeikes dot com where we post our episode and our footnotes foote and look off to the information that we talked about today is episode well as a song that we think you might enjoy. Miles, what song do you think people might enjoy?

I just like that this like soft R and B that feels like from It's like from the nineties is kind of making a big comeback. This is galdive and or Galdeve. I don't know, it's like how you pronounced or end dive malde yeah or Galdeve's but anyway, g A L D I v E. The track is called Bloom and it's just like some nice like whispery R and B kind of shit, just you know, setting yourself up for the weekend, getting in that vibe, you know, letting the sun hit you. So bloom gal dive get into.

It all right. We will link off to that in the footnotes. The Daily Guys is the production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. That's going to do it for us this morning. We're back this afternoon to tell you what is trending, and we will talk to y'all then. Bye bye bye