You're listening to Comedy Central.
Wow, Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up. It's a big show about not a lot. I'm gonna do one of these every episode. I'm just gonna find a way to describe it in another way. I'm your your co host, host, co host whenever there's two. It does also make it a bit of a weird thing.
Whenever you do the drops, you always say that you're the host.
So yeah, yeah, but then that's just because you're not there.
Wow.
Yeah, but i'm your host Josh Johnson joined by my co host.
Wow. The downgrade.
It's like a pilot co pilot situation, right like, because there's some days that you're gonna be piloting. Okay, there's gonna be days where you care very much about something that I'm just opposed, but I don't care as much. That's a pilot day for you.
Okay, Okay, okay, I hear you, I hear you.
What's your name? Tell the people I am going.
To say Sloan could have been Lazaria Sloan. But there was a very brave woman who did my birth certificate who really just had to put a foot down. I'll tell you that story. Later. But yeah, I'm dual, say Sloan, I'm here. I woke up and it is what it is. Baby.
Uh.
You know, the Lord blessed us to see another day, to talk about the nonsense that we talk about on this here podcast.
So we're here. We're here on this audio format today not to talk about anything big going on the world. We're not talking about climate change, We're not talking about anything serious. We are diametrically opposed. We are butting heads. We can't seem to agree on windows seat versus as'le see.
Because you don't want to live right.
I don't want to live right. You're out here living in chaos. Okay, So tell the people what side you're on.
I am team window seat, Joshua, where do you land on this?
I'm team I'll see, because we can at least both agree that no one in our Christian circle would want the middle seat. That that is a life listen. That is that if you love the middle seat, I'll go ahead and say it. I don't care who it offends. I think you're living foul.
You're living very foul. Also, I could say it's been a good minute since I've been in a situation on a plane where there even was a middle seat.
Wow. Wow, Wow, Wow, that's that. That's one of those things that look that's a blessing, look at Jesus. But I would not tell everybody that all the time. You know there's haters out here.
You know that you can't let everyone know how the Lord blesses you. What I can tell you. What I can't tell you is that first class seats are more affordable in certain situations than you think they would be. But like sometimes like I've gotten like, yo, I'm gonna say you, how Lord bless me? One time I got a lay down seat. I'm talking about flat right.
Yeah, Jet Blue Delta, Delta Okay, New York, Okay to San Francisco.
Our round trip six hundred and fifty eight dollars. Wow. I don't know how, I don't know who, I don't know what glitch happened on Delta on that good morning. But I needed that seat because I got very sick. It's like twenty nineteen. Remember I got so sick. I lost twenty pounds in a month, like well like actually in a week, and I was just sick all month. And we came back to working at the leaving man, I was so sick. The man next to me put
the blanket on me, like tuck me in. Then when we landed, they didn't make me put my seat up. They just let me land flat. And I promise you. I looked at the mirror one day and I was like, wait a minute, let me just see how much y'all wait, And in like seven or ten days, I lost twenty pounds. And I called my homegirl and told her after I started to feeling better, and she was like, bitch, come cough in my mouth, what are you talking about? Twenty
pounds of ten days. She's like, listen, I had a dude, tell me lose a weight, he said, either by sickness or by fitness. But we gonna get this way out.
Look, I'll tell you right now, right that thing of not even being in the world of middle seeds, ye is wild.
Have you ever been on the Jet Blue flight Mint. I'm gonna tell you what I'm with. First class is very affordable Jet Blue Mint. They don't have it all the time, they don't do it on every flight, they don't do it on every flighty route. Yeah, but bro good food. Good food. Also Delta the disrespect. Delta does not offer a lay down seat from New York to San Diego, just not at all.
Delta is okay. So sometimes I'm in Atlanta and sometimes I get to that airport, I'm like, y'all really must be feeling yourselves because the fact that you close.
So do you have clear?
Of course I have clear if you're a person who travels like but I mean comics who travel a lot who don't have clear a PreCheck, and I'm like, you don't have eighty dollars.
Also, this is my thing about pre Check. This is my thing about like that stuff is wild. This is proof. This is like, you know, American American flaws at their finest, because everything that we do around pre check is proof we really don't need to be doing this stuff at all, because you mean that for an extra eighty dollars, I couldn't possibly be a terrorist on.
A driver's license.
Uh huh.
They take all of your fingerprints.
M hm.
When I went to my pre check interview, they took all my fingerprints and it asked me like a few questions. I was in the car longer than they interviewed me.
I will tell you right now that when they did all. I don't care if you're clear pre check anything. When they take all your fingerprints, when they do all this background check whatever, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna be crazy, like that's puny crazy.
Yeah.
That's my thing with this whole thing where I'm like, you did all this background stuff. Yeah, that just means a person hasn't done anything yet.
But also when you look at this is the thing. I think they probably look into certain people more than they look at the other people. I come walking in to get my pre checked.
They're like, yeah, she.
Ain't gonna do nothing. I'm not gonna they know, like win in a history of life, have you seen any black woman do any fucking thing. When I walked in, they were like, bro, just just take her. I was I was literally like I was done. I just would That's it.
I mean, I've only seen black women blow shit up as a manner of speech. Yes, it's always in theory.
Right, it's always like I'm hurting everybody's I'm gonna light this bitch up, as in I'm taking I'm thinking shots at everybody in the room verbally m hm. But it's like we're not doing terrorism.
The the just just so that we, at any point in the podcast actually cover the topic I want to hear. I want to hear your thoughts and feelings on the window seat and why you think it's superior.
Okay, I will start with this because I know this is going to be your point, right, So I'm gonna give you this.
Oh okay, wow before you even say I already know your point. Okay, go ahead, go ahead, I know.
You're going to say now, the only cause you know, usually I start with it's kind of like, give me the bad news first. The only hiccup to a window seat, yeah, is that you have to ask an adult to let you peek. Yeah, that is, but I can't tell you. There are a few airlines mm hmm. First of all, if you're on Alaska Airlines flight and you were sitting in that very first row, yeah, there's enough seat. There's enough space for you to get around the other person.
If you are on Hawaiian air the way they're laid down seats are set up is there is more of an adequate space to get up and go to the restroom without even waking the other person up or making them even have to sit up delta. On the other hand puts you in fucking like isolation tube cubbies. So that's why if you ever I was asking you if you've ever been on those mint flights, the one where you're in the where.
It's just you and the road just you fire.
Yes, there's that, and I think Delta might do it because you know there of some flights there's like first class and then there's business class. M h if usually it's for a job because I'm not paying that much money to be in the skoy Like, I have my limits. I have my limits, and sometimes you're just like how
many fouts bitch like this? Sometimes it's just too much money, right, Yeah, but that's the only downfall of a window seat where you have to be like you either have to coordinate it or like you either have to ask the other person. Because that's why I got to a point where I would just fucking hibernate. I get on the plane, I eat my food, and I am donezo and so I don't have to pee until I get off the plane.
Yeah.
It's only recently where I'm been like, you know what, maybe I should pee because because I say something just being about a plane, I'm just like I'm gonna find I'm out, I'm donezo, I'm fucking hibernating. It's yeah, because
I don't want to wake up the other person. Also, if you were the asshole that gets upset when the person in the window seats ask you fuck you, you cannot be upset when the person in the window seat is like, hey, I need to go to the bathroom because I had a guy go or you're getting up. I was like, bro oh, I know the wildest thing that ever happened. I was on a plane. I'm in the window seat. There is this man in the middle who is translucent right what. He's very old white man.
I don't know if he got any work done or whatever, but he looked like a fucking like one of those fish that live in the parts of the ocean where like there's no light. So he had this crazy like clear you can see like all the veins in his face. It was nuts. And then he had like this two pay that looked like it was just like kind of melted. And then there was this person that he was with, this other guy that was with him. I don't know if he was his whoever friend or whatever chaperone handler.
I don't know. And so he's sitting in the row in front of us in the window. So I'm at the window, see through white man in the middle, Asian guy on the end, right, Okay. So we're sitting there and he's just like doing too much right okay. He's he keeps hopping up to start talking to the person his friend in the row in front of us. Okay, and he's like bumping in us as he's doing it. I'm like okay. And then they come by and give
you like the little snack box or whatever. And then when he's done with his food, he puts his trash on and the Asian dude's tray, so he's like, I'm done, and then he just moves his stuff and me and Asian dude look at each other like, yo, what the fuck?
Yeah.
So I had the window open to take off. Yeah, and then when we're getting ready to land, I left the window closed and he went to reach across me. He's like, can you open the window? I was like no, and then he went to reach across me and I was like, do you better not reach across me to open this window? And he's like I want to see that. I said, then you should have gotten a window seat. You won't be watching it today. He went to reach
across me. I went, sir, he was read ridiculous. Also, I've never seen this on the second time my life Arsino two paid where the hair looked melted. It was like part two part hair plugs. There was a lot going on.
With this man. And so this person was a middle seat right.
Yes, acting fucking wild.
So I felt like, yeah, we've already established that the middle seat comes with a different energy.
Why he knew.
But also it's like your friend was in the window, your friend in twitch seats with you, You knew that you were acting wild. So like, that's the other thing about being in the window. If you're in a window seat on a three row and a three seater row mm hmm, you have to acknowledge you might not asking two people
to get up to PE. That's hard. So the secret is you wait till the person in the middle gets up to P or the person on the aisle gets up to pcause that's what I do when I'm on plans now, it's when the person on the aisle gets up to P, then I'm like, okay, I'll get up there. Because I'm not interrupting you because you got up.
I get you. So this this is my thing. When when I choose an aisle seat, I'm thinking ahead. I'm planning, all right, I'm putting. I'm putting something together. I'm planning the entire experience because yeah, I'm gonna have to get up sometimes when people need to peek. I understand that. But also I got first access to the snacks.
I got first access to the.
Safety lie of y'all, window seats are dead if things go awry on this flight.
But you have but you have first access. I hear you. But I've sat and out that cart running into me over and over. It is that cart bumping into me. People, But I don't like people bumping into me. It is the bane of my existence. Like people bumping into me. When you are in the aisle seat, there's a lot of people in your personal space. Okay, someone's reaching over you to give one or two other people's necks, one or two other people a tray of food when they're
asking somebody what they want to drink. Now they're leaning over you, right, oh, talk to one or two other people. You and the flight attendant might as well be making out for the amount of times this person is about to be in your personal space in a tube in the fucking sky. It's too much. That's why I don't do ile sea, because it's an invasion of my personal
space on a regular basis. Somebody going to the back, like the number of times I've been good in sleep, and somebody has just bumped the number I've bumped into. Plenty of people in an aisle, see just coming back and forth from their arm is on the arm rest right, you are trying to avoid one arm. Boom, you hit another arm. It's like a fucking it's I'm pinballing my hips down the fucking aisle. And if your arm is out or your legs too far out, it's like you're getting touched.
Let's go over a couple of etiquette things, just in general, so we can make sure we're on the same page as we decide if window or aisle is better. Okay, okay, Now when you and this is a different time in your life, I understand, but I'm asking you to go there. Yes, when you in the past had to be in the middle seat, Oh, it.
Wasn't often because the thing is middle seat. Middle seats only happen if you don't plan ahead.
I know, I know I was asking you to go to that place. I'm not saying you're gonna go back. I feel like as soon as I brought it up, you were like, don't put that evil off me.
Don't you put that on me?
Rick and Bobbie, and so all I'm saying is, do you subscribe whether you're in the window or aisle, that the arm rest goes to the middle seat.
I think the arm rest goes to the middle seat because the aisle has an arm rest, the window has the whole side of the plane.
They have the Majesty of Flighty, the.
Majesty flights, They've got a window to look out of. You see what I'm saying. So I think the arm rests should go to the middle seat. I have been in the elbow competition with someone when I was in a middle seat, and I thought very disrespectful. I also have been on planes where because you know, when you start doing colleges, the planes get stall smaller, like like
Russian stacking dolls. So I've been on a plane. I can I can tell you I was on a plane one time and there was this very like just muscular man, this this huge man. He sat down after I sat down, and I just spent the whole flight just behind his shoulder, like that's where I want to just this is where I live. Now. Me and this man go together because there was nowhere, there was nowhere. We're a couple. For the next two hours, me and this man go together. And he would ask me, and I was very much
like the you. I was like, no, I'm good, I'm okay. They're like kids, you can't do anything. But when it came to that arm rest, when it came to that arm us, I let Homeboy have it. And I let Homeboy have it because I had his whole fucking shoulder. That's why I let him have it. If you are just out here, just your body, just on people, Yeah, we go together like truly until this plan lands. I am your wife.
You didn't you didn't say it this way what? But I can tell that this man was good looking because just the way that because you were like, no, anytime anytime you get that quiet, I know, I know you're like feeling something.
No. No, it's it's like no, no, no.
My fin you know, it's like quiet and a little bit of shake to it too.
No, I got sucking Jane fucking Catherine hepburn but no, but I I've been on flights where I also this man got so mad at me. I was the window. See, he was in the aisle. This is I was. I was on the United flight and I was just like, oh, the middle class is dying because first class was full. So there was three sections on this plane, right, it was first class, I guess, there was a middle business class area and then there was economy. Right, first class
fucking jam packed. Economy full of shit. There were forty seats yeah, in the middle that had five six people in them, And I was like, what the fuck is happening on this plane? They couldn't push any of them people from economy up here because when you look back at economy, I swear there were sirens. It was a fucking greyhound bus back there. Somebody had a bird like it was fucking a while back there, and there was curtains, and I was like, I've never seen a curtain on
this part. But this man sits down next to me. He you didn't have a little brother, so you don't know what the little brother felt like. You know how teenage boys smell where it's just that like funk. You were teenage boys, you probably don't sme there's a slight funk. There's a very specific funk to a teenage boy. Okay that unless you had like a brother, you don't know what it is. And a forty year old man sat next to me, smelling like a thirteen year old boy who just got at a pe class and he was
doing Mind you, the plane had not left anywhere. Also, he came and sat down next to me, which I get it, because there was a whole section fucking it. You don't know where these people are, right, We're in the beginning of the boarding groups. You don't know these people don't fill up the plane. He sits down immediately, man spreads arms out, so now we're going for the fucking jockey. And because he's got the fun, he had the fuck completely fucking obnoxious right bumping in, knocking my
arm off the armress. I was like, oh, this is what we're doing, bitch, let me explain something to you. I started doing the exact same thing. I'm spreading my arms out, getting my chest wide so I have titties. I need space, right, getting my chest wide I'm man spreading, pushing his arm off the arm rest. Bitch, you want to go, let's go right, the plane has not taken off yet. Yeah, he goes and complains to the flight attendant.
Yeah.
And then she looked at me and then looked at him, and I just saw her go get another seat, just sit somewhere else. Yeah, and then afterwards she was like, what the hell. I was like, I don't know, I did. It was the wildest thing to me. I've had dudes in middle seats go to man spread, but he's there's me on one side and then another man on the other side. So now they're just trying to man spread on the right. I'm like, you can't just man spread on the right. That's not how this works. You spread
and you spreading. Now, so you go to spread, I'm spreading that like we all bitch for creepy cheese out here. Everybody getting spread peanut butter at but fucking country crop. I don't care. Everybody gets bread. Right, So there's that thing. You're in the middle seat. Keep your fucking We're giving you the armrests, but act right. Also, we're already this is already the least amount of space that a human being can be in. They have calculated it. Okay, they've
made sure. What's the most reasonable amount of space to put a human being in and then not start a fucking riot?
Yeah?
Yeah, because yeah, exactly exactly, what's the smallest amount of space we can put these people in before they kill each other. I guess my thing is, I've been in the middle seat before, and this is.
Actually, wow, how dare you?
But you have though?
How in the absolute.
Of daredevil this do you?
How very dare you? Is that what you're trying to say? How very dare you?
I already asked if the way I asked, and don't even re ask me what I was asking you. I'm say, yeah, I have had a middle seaf lifestyle before, okay, and I do this thing. I actually think it's courteous. I don't know if people like it or not. I only had it go awry maybe twice. I'm a pretty nimble dude, and sometimes the person in the aisle seat is pretty little, right, So rather than wake them up, sometimes I'll just stand up in my seat, I'll put a foot on my
seat and I'll step over them. I'll just like step right, I don't even wake them up. I just step over them into the aisle and I go about my way, use the bathroom, come back, step over them again, and then sit down, and they don't even wake up.
So you either put your ass or your crotch in a person's verse.
They've only woken up twice now, both times when the person was waking.
Up on your crunch in their face.
And they they they did have quite a reaction.
But as soon, wait a.
Minute, you let me tell all these wild ass stories, and you did not tell me that you were a sneak putting your man parts and people faces, and you were making people wake up from dreamland while they're thirty five thousand feet in the fucking sky to your whole the lass in their whole face, and the American face.
I'm saying, Wow, it's gone well enough times that to me, to wake them up felt ruder than just stepping over.
You thought it was ruder to wake them up than to put your ass in somebody's face.
You don't know how hard it is for some people to fall asleep. I don't know these people, but what.
If the person in front of them, if the seat is reclined, You've already got a seat. Also, can we say that, I don't think every seat reclines the same, because some playing where you were crying and it's just too just a slight two inches, And in other seats where I'm just like, I can see this man's forehead.
Yeah he's too far back. Some reclined so much that you know they're broken.
Yes, right, Well, I'm just like when I got to recline and the person behind me got like when you see that domino effect sleeps reclining, because it's like you didn't recline because you wanted to. It was just like ugh, and then it's uh and it's h forty times fifty times behind you. I'm with you.
I'm just saying I've done that because in my mind it was it was easier for me. I didn't mind the step over.
Eisier for you. Not you weren't thinking about the trauma.
No, no, no, I was. Because here's the thing.
I have friends and I have family who do not sleep while on planes. So when someone falls asleep on a plane, I don't take it lightly. I don't just assume they could fall right back to sleep, but they also have to stay awake. They have to stay awake until I get back or else I'm just waking. One time, my kid, this is wild. I can't believe this. This person was clearly living a very fast lifestyle. Because I was in the middle seat, they were in the aisle.
I had to wake them up to get them up to get out, and then when I came back, I was I only went to pee. When I came back, they were sleeping harder than they were before this time. Their mouth was open everything. Oh yeah, and I had to get them up again. I was like, let me just if I had just stepped over this person, they clearly wouldn't have caught it because it took a couple of shakes to wake him up again.
You know, I was on a plane before and the pilot comes on and goes. Also, I love the pilot. I love I love a good pilot voice.
Yeah, there's there's some great pilot voices out there that put you at ease. There are something that put you on edge, right, Yeah, anytime you hear like I'll tell you right now, if I hear a pilot voice that sound too familiar to me, I'm already nervous.
What do you mean too familiar?
Like if the pilot sounds too late back it does, it just doesn't seem professional to me. I had a pilot on a flight one time get ready to get on the on the mic, so he had an announcement to make, but he clicked it on too early and we all heard him burp. And that doesn't sound like somebody who can fly.
Because the man burned, Josh.
Because tell me, okay, so I understand.
That you live a different life where you're brave and you and you enjoy things, and so I'm just saying.
I'm still black.
I'm saying I want to flight, and I hear the pilot get off, so we're going to be flying today over it? Like no, no.
It just makes me feel like that the cockpit is sticky.
No no, no, this makes me have no confidence.
If you burn before you start talking and like it's supposed to be a professional, it just makes me I'm not saying that I'm brave. I'm just like there's just certain things I can't be afraid off, right, because it's like there's a lot of things that you know, black people don't do. That's why we have a whole piece on the show called uh we don't do that because we don't do a lot of shit. But if I hear him burp when he comes on, first of all, just makes me think he's a disgusting human being.
Because I'm talking about hard burp too. We're not talking about a little gulp. We're talking about like.
Beer like Homer Simpson, like man burp.
Like maybe he just finished lunch.
Oh, I've never I don't even sir, you knew it was coming. You've never been tricked by a like people are like like I've had Like you've never been tricked by a burp. But it's like it's it just makes me feel like the cockpit is sticky. I don't know how. It doesn't say anything about his ability to land this plane. It just makes me feel like the cockpit is sticky. The altimeter might be you know, it might have like food, like a food. It makes you feel like there's food rappers.
It gives me car energy, That's what it is. It's like that makes me feel like I'm open, like there's some cans on the floor right because it's like I'll have stuff in my car like every many people's cars are just like completely filtering, and I'm like just move that stuff. And I'm like, you shouldn't even ask me to get in here. My shoes are gonna get dirty getting in this car. And I don't respect this at all, Like it's ridiculous. I have a standals on my feet, sticky,
how dare you, sir? I do love the hey, everybody, this is a this is your pie? Like that voice. I love that. It always puts you in the mind of like your uh, like the newscaster voice, Hi, this is like that one, or like the disc jockey voice, like they're very specific like record. But I did have a pilot say that, like he called the plane like the Starshik Enterprise, which made some people groan, but I
thought it was so adorable. And then he was talking about how we uh, we were gonna be flying at like seventy percent in the speed of sound, and I just went I didn't fucking need that.
Did you know you're going fat at all? Yeah, you're going very fast. I mean I had a pilot what type that was hitting us with too many ums? And I was like, do you are you sure? You acting like you're not sure, You're not sure where we're going, You're not sure how high we're getting that man was hitting us with multiple arms in every sentence.
So we're welcome to the.
Yeah, it sounded like it sounded like he wasn't supposed to be. I understand that that's a nervous take that people have, but you have to understand what you're when you're on a plane, and this is the boss of the plane. So if you're nervous, we're nervous, okay, Like if you get if you get on the bike and your plane and you're like, welcome to Delta. It's like, that doesn't even sound like you supposed to be flying today.
I hear you. I think what's even more upsetting is what they make the announcement. You can't understand what they're saying at all.
Yeah, because that means that if it's an emergency as well, just sit here. Yeah, this is chill.
See here, it's you hear ladies and gentlemen, right hmm, it's welcome ladies and gentleman's. And I say that eighty three degrees thirty five, and I'm like, no, no, no, I have to hear what he's saying.
I know this has nothing to do with the seats, but I hate when they tell me the temperature is gonna be because I already packed. Like, I like this, Sonny, There's nothing I can do now. So when you're like, you're like, we're gonna be flying into San Francisco, it's actually gonna be a chili sixty five today, I'm like, all right, well then I've already made a mistake.
But also, you should check the weather before you pack. If you didn't check the weather before you pack.
It sure, sure, I'm not blaming him. I'm just saying I hate when it happens because there's nothing I can do about it.
You know, I don't think I knew how judgmental you were, Joshua.
I over very specific things when it comes to pilots. Yeah, when I'm on a plant because I don't have a fear of flying, but I could grow one. I could grow one real easy. And someone gets on the mic and they're just over here ming and on. It sounds like they're stealing this play, is what it sounds like. I understand the place and the beauty of a window seat. I'm not going to completely undercut your point. I'm just
saying it depends on when you're flying. If the window seats even useful because if you're flying in a red eye, if you're flying where you're going somewhere where it's gonna be night very soon, that window seat is about to be neel and void. It's just gonna be dark. You're just gonna be dark.
No, if you're flying over land, okay, the window seat is not useless because you're going to see cities a light a lit up at night. Okay. The very interesting like flying into a city at night. It's like, especially if you're flying like into La at night, it's like desert desert desert, Like it's weird.
You see the line, yeah, of like desert desert traffic.
City, right, and so it's so funny because like you see the line where they're like we just went the lights are gonna stop here here, the lights are gonna right, We're not putting no more. No, if you don't live right here, you get no stores. Right, So you can see a lot now if you're like, I've flown to Melbourne. So I did a fourteen hour flight when I went to the Melbourne Melbourne.
Uh, what was it Melbourne?
I want to say Frank lub comed Festival. It was. I went from New York to LA which was five hours, and then LA to Melbourne, which was fourteen hours. Yeah, in a window seat, Okay, but to your point, it was over water. The flight was at nine pm. I landed at five am, completely lost Saturday, left on a Friday, landed on a Sunday. Gone, but when I came back
it was Tuesday. For thirty six hours. But anyway, plane takes off, the entertainment on the plane is not working, the Wi Fi is not working, the TV is not working. And then then to make matters worse, the overhead light was connected to the entertainment, so you couldn't just reach up and turn the light on. So even if you brought a fucking book, when they were rebooting and rebooting
and rebooting, you couldn't turn the overhead light on. Then, even if you had something you could watch on an iPad or a tablet or something, because they kept rebooting it the power was surging, so you couldn't even charge your fucking phone. Fourteen hours that night, no TV, no WiFi, no over They fed us and cut all the fucking lights off. They're like, go to bed.
Good as I'll tell you. I'll tell you right now, I'll tell you right now.
Then that thing what you described is a caveat where Yes, if you're in the window seat at night and you're passing over land, great good on you. You see some dots on the ground, you see some dots in the sky, But if you were going over water, you might as well be staring at an iPhone that is off.
But the good part for me is that the moon was on my side of the plane. So I was watching the world's first movie, which was The Moon on Water. Was what all I had to watch until my battery on my phone got low and I had to wait until I was able to fucking charge it eventually. But the people sitting on the other side of the plane with no moon, darkness darkness, had nothing, And eventually they end up giving people like two hundred and fifty dollars vouchers.
This is a stack of them, like fucking test papers, like a teacher with test papers. And we're just like here, here, here, don't fuck, we don't want to hear it here here, here. I think what has happened here is that we have not determined which one is good or bad.
No, we really have it at all. So we're just gonna have to throw this one to you, the listener. This is probably the most off topic, round about episode that we've had. We talked about planes the entire time. We definitely talked about airports and planes.
We talked about everything that encompasses being on a plane, all the whole plane experience, right, Yeah, because going through the non because think about it, it's hectic getting to the airport, then it's hectic getting through the airport. Then it's hectic getting on the fucking plane, and then I'm gonna spend the whole flight getting bumped into fuck that I pick a window seat because I've already been through the fucking gauntlet of nonsense that is being in an airport.
M hm.
But what you have to have your You ever looked at the website seat guru dot com. No, okay, My the bane of my existence is getting to the window seat. And you end up where the seam is right, so you don't have the window. You're in that part in between the windows. And one time it kept happening to me to the point that the last time it happened to me, I was just in tears. I was so mad because you can't there's one there's no window. Two, you can't lean over good, You're just stuck. I was
so angry, I was crying. I was stressed the fuck out. I'd been on a million fucking flights. I just wanted to go to sleep right, And I'm just saying, cause you just get this slight lean and then it's just the fucking seam of this plane. And sometimes the way they set up first class seats, like I've been on planes where like every seat you're not really at. The window is in front of you, yeah, but at your head,
it's the fucking seam. So I don't know if they do that so other people can look out the window that I paid for, but back either side these pets forward or back these windows up, because I've paid for a fucking window seat. I need to be able to look out this damn window and don't give me the scene. So there's a website seatguru dot com, and that's where I go. Where I'm I literally, if I'm looking at a flight, I'll go, okay, where is because sometimes you
just pick a fucking seat. You don't know there's a bulkhead here, there's a scene of a plane here. Some of them I've had it where like they're like, oh, this seat didn't work, or this is an exit row, the seats don't recline, or you're close to the bathroom here or something. It's like sometimes you're just like, I just pick a seat. You don't know all of the stands and down to the seat in the window versus aisle. There's no wrong answer, because guess what, you're on a plane, baby,
You go places, you're doing stuff. You're getting out the house, you're getting out your neighborhood, you're getting out of your state. Probably if you're on a plane, you're probably living your states. Yopunok's like a San Francisco, Los Ange less you live in a big ass state, right, Ain't nobody flying nowhere? You don't live in Georgia. Apply to another place in Georgia. You just drive, could be in an asshole. Get up. But you're on a plane. Hey, you're living, You're doing
all right. You're on a plane. There are people like there are people who have never been on an airplane.
No, I understand, I understand.
I'll say here is probably the best place that we can kick it off to you, the listener, How do you feel? Who is right you know is it our seat or is it window seat?
It's not about being right, it's about being blessed. Josh, you on the plane, baby, The question is the question is as much as it's about window at aisle, it's do you buy your snacks before? Or are you trying to fuck with the snacks that they got on the plane?
Never the snacks on the plane I always get before. Thank you so much for listening. If you're looking to catch up with us on any of the socials, you can find me at Josh Johnson Comedy on Instagram, at Josh Johnson on Twitter, Josh j Comedy on Facebook if you still use it, and Josh Johnson Comedy on TikTok and YouTube. And if you're looking for dul Say do, I'll say.
It's at dul Say Sloan on the Instagram's uh, it's duelsays loan and everything, but it's d u l ce s l o a ed. There is no o in my first name, and there's no e in my last name. My family. My name is only ten letters long, and it is spelled so many ways. It is pronounced so many ways, and all the socials Dull says loan I'm on a TikTok. I'm out here. If you're still on Snapchat, please tell me how Tumblr. I didn't know they were still open.
We appreciate you, and we appreciate listening, and you know, always hit us up, let us know if there's anything you want to hear us talk about. Any was it? What's the best word for it? Any Like two subjects that clash that maybe people even know should clash, you know.
Yeah, like apples and oranges. I mean, why are we comparing those for so long?
I'm gonna go, but I'll have a great day and a great weekend. We'll talk to you in a little bit.
Be blessed Mothers Jesus.
Listen to hold Up on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fair Amount Plus.
This has been a Comedy Central podcast