War in Ukraine - Volodymyr Zelenskyy's Speech to Congress | Quinta Brunson

they're gonna do it. It's gonna be interesting to see how mosques handle it when you throw up inside of them, because we've done everything without mosques, but this is gonna be a great new thing to see how it works. You know, just like inside the mosque, it might actually help because a lot of the time the throwing up, the thing that makes it terrible is that it goes out. A lot of the time I've thought I didn't want this to go out. I just could have kept it in.

Coming to you from the heart of Times Square in New York City, the only city in America. It's The Daily Show. Here's a Tony People versus Plutin. Everything is Meta's Quita Bronson. This is The Daily Show with Trevor No, Hey, what's going on? Everybody? Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Trevor Noah. It is now day twenty one of Vladimir Putin's invasion of Ukraine, and it's safe to say the world is officially tired of his bullshit. So let's catch up on how the world is pushing back in our

ongoing coverage of the war in Ukraine. Even as Putin continues to push into Ukraine and kill civilians, the world is uniting to fight back. Today, the International Court of Justice in the Hague ordered Russia to halt its invasion of Ukraine, so you know that should get results quickly. And here in the US, the Senate is advancing a bill that would give ordinary people a reward for snitching

on oligarchs and helping to identify their assets. Yeah, so you snitch, you find an oligarch, and you get money, which is really interesting, and it's probably gonna mark the first time people are gonna call the cops, like, hey, I just saw a very suspicious yacht sailing by, and look, some of my best friends have yachts, but there's something

fishy about this one. Yeah, I'm in danger. Also, yesterday the White House announced that President Biden himself will travel to Europe next week for a series of diplomatic meetings with other NATO leaders, and in response to that, Donald Trump Jr. Remember him, He tweeted that his dad should go instead, saying quotes, if you want to get something done right, send Trump, which I actually agree with. Yeah, if your goal is to confuse the hell out of

everyone in Europe, send Trump. That will definitely stop the war. Russia is stealing Ukraine's land, just like Black lives matter. Still, the voting machines and the toilets, they don't flush anymore. They don't flush. And that's why we gotta band windmills, gotta get rid of well of them. Now. Vladimir Putin is not happy about any of this. In fact, today he gave a speech in which he complained that the West is trying to cancel Russia, which is pretty rich

coming from this dude. A man is over here as the only person in history who has ever sent an army to kill a comedian. And guys, can we agree? Can we agree that the term cancel has lost all meaning? Right? Because first, canceling meant that people were getting mad at you for what you said online. Now you're being canceled

if people don't want you to invade other countries. I feel like we're a few months away from archaeologists being like and then sixty six million years ago, a giant asteroid hit the Earth and canceled all the dinosaurs hashtag walk. But the big news today is about Ukrainian President Vladimir

Zelenski and his speech to the United States. Yeah. Appearing live via satellite in Congress's home theater, Zelenski pleaded with the US to send more weapons and enforce a no fly zone over Ukraine, and based on his references to American history, it was clear that Zelensky knew his audience. I remember your National Memorial in Rushmore, the faces of your prominent presidents, those who laid the foundation of the

United States of America as it is today. Remember Pearl Harbor, terrible morning of December seven, nineteen when your sky was let from the plains attacking you. Remember September the eleventh, a terrible day our country experience the same every day. I have a dream, these words unknown to each of you. Today, I can say I have a need. I need to protect our sky. I need your decision, your health, which means exactly the same, the same you feel when you

hear the words I have a dream. Yeah, that's right. Zelensky brought out all of America's major moments. I have a dream, N eleven, Mount Rushmore. You know he was on Wikipedia last night planning this out. Okay, Pearl Harbor, Boston, Deep Perty. Should I mention how Cogan sex tape? Maybe? And by the way, props to him. I mean he knows way more about America then most U. S. Senences know about his country. Like, can you imagine how they would sound if they had to give an inspiring speech

using Ukrainian history? People of Ukraine? Remember the vision of your founder, I want to say, Daniel Ukraine. I'm also impressed that Lensky was able to dodge so many landlines in his research, because you realize this could have gone very wrong. And now to nine eleven, which, as we all know from YouTube, was inside job. I see you Bush No for real. It was a really impressive speech.

Although you know, these days people on Twitter will complain about literally anything, So of course there was one economist who tweets I understand times are hard, but doesn't the president of Ukraine owner suit? Damn? What a weird criticism. That's the kind of guy who would see Jesus come back and be like, really, sandals my guy. But anyway, most people were impressed by the speech, especially the powerful ending when Zelensky switched to English and addressed President Biden directly.

Today the Ukrainian people are defending not only Ukraine, we are fighting for the values of Europe and the world. And at the leader of my niche, I'm addressing the President Biden. You are the leader of the niche of the area. I wish you to be the leader of the world. Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of this Thank you, blobb o grain. That was inspiring. I'm pretty sure that was the first

time in history people applauded a zoom call. It's also impressive that Zelenski was able to deliver that message in his non native tongue. In fact, when you think about it, his English is better than the past two U S presidents. And also how a raised it. How raised it to see everyone in Congress all stand and applaud for the

same thing. Right, you never see that, I mean obviously almost everyone, almost everyone, because I don't know if you noticed that one congressman, who I guess I didn't realize that everyone else was doing a standing ovation. My man, we're on the brink of nuclear conflict. You can fill

out your bracket later. Now, it doesn't look like America is going to support and no flies on over Ukraine anytime soon, because again, a direct confrontation between American jets and Russian jets that could end up spiraling into World War three. And that's a sequel that nobody wants except for maybe the History Channel. And you think they want to be talking about aliens and ship they hated as much as you do. But America's government has been ratcheting

up with support in other ways. Today Biden announced that America would be sending another eight hundred million dollars worth of military aid to Ukraine. And aside from the American government, the American people have also taken it upon themselves to step up and help Ukraine. And I'm not just talking about the usual ways, by the way, like donating money

and putting a Ukrainian flag in their Twitter handle. And don't get me wrong, the flag emoji is making a huge difference, but people are also finding more creative ways to help out Inspired by these images of Ukrainians displaced by the invasion of their country, Americans are finding inventive ways to help, turning pain into purpose. Sasha Schmurkowski created an Amazon wish list of items needed in Ukraine. The response overwhelming, one truck after another dropping off donated goods.

Forty thousand counting people are booking air babes in Ukraine with no plans of staying there. The initiative, which gained popularity on social media, is a way to get money to Ukrainians impacted by the war. More than sixty one nights were booked in just forty eight hours, raising almost two million dollars for hosts in Ukraine to Harvard University students are doing their part to help Ukrainian refugees find homes around the world. They have launched this website, Ukraine

Take shelter dot com. It's designed to help refugees find hosts with spare rooms, condos, and dormitories. Wow, people, that is heartwarming. Huh. These two students helping thousands of Ukrainian refugees find places to stay. That's amazing. It's amazing. I mean we should keep in mind not that the website was built by Harvard students in their dorm room. So a few years from now it will probably lead to an attempted coupe, but for now, it's all good times.

And I also love that people are renting air bnbs in Ukraine but not staying there. They're just doing it to send money to Ukrainians who in need. That's one of the coolest initiatives I've ever seen, although I hope everyone understands that this is just a donation, okay, because you know there's gonna be one guy who actually shows up just being like really disappointed. WiFi was spotty and

sound of missiles exploding kept me up all night. Two Stars, and it turns out Americans aren't just helping refugees and ordinary civilians. No, they're also directly contributing to the war efforts. The company in the Wisconsin is donating a million of rounds of ammunition to Ukrainian forces. The company's close ties with the US military makes workers confident to the ammunition will it gets to where it is needed at most. A growing number of police agencies across the US are

jumping in to support Ukrainians with combat supplies. This box full of gear used to be for law enforcement in Colorado. Soon it will be sent to protect people a world away. The Citcienati Police Department is pitching in to help Ukraine defend itself against Russia. It is sending nine and fifty

ballistic helmets to people fighting to defend their country. When New York County executives organizing a collection drive for guns, asking gun owners to donate their weapons for the cause, we could get a million guns to the people of the Ukraine. The Ukrainian people want to protect themselves, so let's give them the resources to do that. That's what I'm talking about. America's police forces are sending their military great hardware to help Ukrainians fight a war in Russia.

That's dope. And if you're asking, wait, why do our police have things that you can use in the war, You're not asking the right questions. The question you should be asking is at what point does America realize it has too many guns? Because you realize that that guy just said, we can get a million guns and we can send them to That's when you know your country has too many weapons. Is when another country needs weapons.

And everyday people in America are like, yeah, we can give them the spare block in the guest room, honey. But I guess this is just a beautiful example of how an ecosystem can balance itself. You know, one country's problems can be another country's solution. America has too many guns and an over militarized police force. Send it over to Ukraine. Hell throwing some mass shooters to go get him,

Tyler Hakuna matata. But look, whether or not it says something terrifying about the States of America, it is still a nice gesture for Americans to be donating their own weapons and they get to Ukraine. Still, for some Americans, sending guns just isn't good enough. No, they're also volunteering to be the ones shooting them. Ukraine's government has actively recruited foreigners to join the fight. Over twenty thousand have reportedly expressed interest, and many Americans are showing up daily.

Harrison josepha Witz is twenty five and was a Chicago police officer. Harrison spent five years in the U. S. Army and did a tour in Afghanistan. You just quit your job and got an app pretty much why that's the right thing to do. Dennis Diaz is a former marine. When he watched Russian tanks pulling into southern Ukraine, his gut said he had to do something. As America's way take on the big bullets. Right now, UM is the big bullet. The resumes range from combat experience to no

military training at all. I worked at a place called Talk About. It's a fast food restaurant in the US. I did saying similar. When I was nineteen, I went to UM I react to join up with the MS. So everything that was happening here, I just decided to take that take that money had the planes are cann't come out here. Yeah, you heard that right. This guy left his job at Taco Bell to go and fight the Russians. I'll tell you now, he's got way more balls than me. I also think he's got the perfect

experience for war. If you've worked at a drive through, you've already seen the worst of humanity. Those have probably gained a lot of hand to hand combat training. Ship have you seen what people do at three am? But yes, thousands of people around the world, including many Americans, are heading to Ukraine to join up with the Ukrainian resistance.

And these people are heroes. The heroes no doubts, but I think we can also admit it's probably a few of them who made this decision partly because of COVID. I don't care where it is. I just want to travel again. Yeah, but seriously, good luck to all these people who are risking their own lives to go and defend democracy. And don't forget you headed into an act of war zone. So please remember the pack of suits. All right when we come back. Ronnie Chang is going

into the metaverse. You don't want to miss it. If Donald Trump were president, no descrab what they're going on, because you've got to be strong. Just now, President Putin denied having anything to do with the election, your parents? Who do you believe? President Putin? He just said it's not Russian. I will say this, I don't see any reason why it would be Donald Trump's, both clearly and forcefully, and that as credible deterreds. I said the word would

instead of wouldn't. I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be Russia. Sort of a double negative. That's the kind of President Trump was. He'd say, get him on the phone, and then he'd read Plutin the rioter. President Trump admitted that during an hour long phone call with Putin, he did not bring up Russian meddling. My father, would you call up and he would have said, Vladimir, don't even think about it, and don't even try us. I'm telling you it's not gonna work out very well for you.

But you know, the people have cried meat from what I've heard, would rather be with Russia than where they were. And as far as Ukraine is concerned, it's a mess. They were very sure when Donald Trump was in office

that they should have mass with America. Most of the dictators the president is friendly with it now understand they can play Trump to get what they want from him by flattering Vladimir Putin feels like it has the wind at his back, especially with a very different type of American leadership compared to the America First, Donald Trumps a killer, a lot of killers. You've got a lot of killers,

what you in our country? So when this in president, the American people remember what it is to have a commander in chief who is respected and feared on the world stage. North Koreas. Kim said this, I will surely and definitely tamed the mentally deranged US Dotard with fire. Welcome back to the Daily Show. There are some news stories that help us understand the world we live in, and there are some news stories that are just stupid.

For those, we turned to Ronnie Change. In the world of the Internet, there's one thing everyone is excited about right now, and I'm not talking about those stupid monkey and f t s. Everyone is buying non fungible Have you never heard of a printer? Just print them all out? Yeah, I just saved you a million dollars. No, the hottest trend in tech right now is the metaverse. And you know it's hot because no one will shut up about it.

The metaverse is defined as a virtual reality space where people can play games, connect with friends, and even go to virtual concerts, a parallel world in your computer or phone. The metaverse is where tech is headed. You see Apple dedicating time here, Microsoft, Samsung, Navidia. It's really hard to ignore or to label this as a fat Facebook has changed its company name to Meta. It's short for metaverse, a virtual reality considered by many to be the future

of the Internet. That's right, Facebook change his name to Meta before the metaverse even caught on. It's like tattooing a girl's name on your arm after two dates. Luckily, if it all goes solved, Zuckerberg can just change it to Meta Musle and pretend it was a fiber company the whole time. But yes, the Metaverse is coming, not that anybody asks for it. These companies just decided to move us all into the metaverse like they're putting their grand mind to a nursing home. Sorry, Nanda, you have

to live in the computer now. But apparent of lead, we should all be excited because the metaverse will allow us build our own world and explore the limits of human imagination, which makes you think you'll be flying on dragons or an orgy full of unicorns, you know, the thing we all dream about. The only problem is the Metaverse is being made by Microsoft and Facebook, so you know it's going to be boring as shit. Meta is also working to bring remote workers into a similar virtual space.

This app is called Facebook Workrooms, and it's designed for meetings. It's a sign of what a professional piece of the metaverse will look like. It basically gives you the opportunity to sit around a table with people and work and brainstorm and whiteboard ideas it's this pretty amazing experience where you know, you feel like you're really right there with your colleagues. Microsoft just unveiling some new tools to immerse users in the workplace, integrating avatars and virtual reality features

into teams. By the middle of next year, power Point will be available in the metaverse as well. Oh thank god, there'll be PowerPoint in the metaverse. I can't wait for the massive experience of feeling like I'm inside a pie chalk. So let me get this straight. The metaverse gives us endless possibilities, and you want to have virtual meetings. Imagine a world where your shopping never runs down an inc.

You did it again, Zuckerberg. And even though the metaverse looks like the wet dream of a billionaire robot, somehow real people are laying down actual money to pretend to live there. There's a land rush happening, and it's not in New York City or Beverly Hills. Early speculators, professional realtors, and celebrities are buying up virtual land for millions of dollars. Sales of virtual land and the major metaverse platforms top five million dollars last year. Celebrities like Snoop Dogg and

Paris Hilton are also diving into the digital land. Grab you're in the sandbox. This piece of land with Snoop Dogg's face on it is owned by the rapper. He's building a virtual mansion on it. Fires all want to be neighbors of Snoop Dogg's upcoming mansion. A parcel next to him just selling for five hundred thousand dollars. You're paying half a million dollars to live next to Snoop

Dogg in the metaverse. All that money, and you came and get a contact high Hell for half a million dollars, you can buy enough drugs to thank you are Snoop Doggs. But this is how bad the real estate market is now. I'm being priced out of worlds I don't even exist. There's nothing more depressing than showing up to the metaverse and needing a roommate. But even if you've got rid of the meetings and the dumb houses, the meta verse is always gonna be made up of people, and people

are gonna make anything shitty. Facebook parent Compty Meta is adding a feature to combat virtual reality harassment. It comes after a woman claims she was verbally and sexually harassed within a minute of joining a virtual game last year, less than thirty seconds into it, um he suddenly surrounded by three male avatars with male voices who were kind of staying sexual innuendos to me. Before I knew it, they were, for lack of a better word, grow being

my avatar. That's right, women are being harassed within seconds of joining the metaverse. I guess it will right. It is just like a real office, Like how is Facebook not prepared for this? Pervs have been a Pavla internet since they won. You know, to sound your dollar connection used to make that was your mode of having an orgasm? Disgusting. So overall it seems like the metaverse is a total ship show. But there is one small silver line, a

word of warning if you're visiting the metaverse. Insurance firm Aviva says it saw a thirty one increase in claims involving those VR headsets last year. In one thing where over your eyes, the average claim for VR related damages it's about eight hundred eighty dollars. Most of those incidents involved cracked TV screens. Of Viva says it's already processed a number of claims so far this he did. You

know what, I take it all back. I love the metaverse. Now, if it's gonna let the world's biggest dumbasses blow their savings on fake houses and then crash into their own TVs, this might be the best thing to happen to the Internet since they invented cat fishing. So thank you, Zuckerberg, Unicorn dis here we come. Thank you so much for that, Ronny.

All right, when we come back, comedian and actress Quinta Bronson will be joining me on the show to talk about her show that everyone's loving right now, Abbott Elementary, So don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is comedian and actor Quinta Bronson. She's here to talk about Abbott's Elementary, the hit show she created, writes for, and stars in Quincy Bronson. Welcome to The Daily Showavor. Thank you for having me, you kidding me,

Thank you for being here this show Abbott Elementary. I remember when I saw the first trailer. A lot of people we fell in love with it just in a promo. The idea was funny, the idea was special, and I'm so glad that it has lived up to expectations. Let's talk through the idea, the inception of it all. Quinc has always been somebody who's been very funny. But why does Quincin Bronson go like, the funniest thing I want to do on the network show I want to make

is going to be about school? Why that's well? You know, I got really inspired by going to visit my mother before. It was the year before she decided to retire. I lived in l A. And I came back to visit her. My mom was doing basically a parent teacher conference with a parent on an open house night. The night started at twelve o'clock PM and ended at eight o'clock uh pm. Okay, okay, no parents came the whole time, and I was there with my mom waiting with her. A parent walks in

at seven eight and I was livid. I was just like, how could you not get here earlier? There was so much time. But my mom then look at it that way. She was like, this is the time that this parent could get here, And she sat down and had the conference with her, and it was in that moment that something was sparked um where I said, this is what I want to make a show about, because the whole time I'm there, I'm just thinking about how funny the

places her co workers in this situation. Her and I started fighting about me, you know, doing comedy and her not retiring yet, and then this beautiful thing happens, and I think, boom, I saw a show and I saw what I wanted to work on for the next however many years I'm able to You know, before I knew that your mom was a teacher, I was just like man Quinco is just like in love with teachers in a really beautiful way. And I know you all, but

it explains so much. For instance, I remember seeing how you got this marketing budget, for instance, from ABC, and then you took a chunk of that money. Instead of spending it on marketing and billboards and everything, you gave that money to school so they could buy supply, so that they can get things. What do you think we don't understand about teachers, you know, having grown up in a teacher household, just how much work they really put into the job. It is not a it's not a

nine of five, do you know what I mean? First of all, my mother used to wake of a seven thirty six sorry earlier, because she had me. She had her own children, do you know what I mean? Which we forget her own children that she has to get through school, clothe and feed. And then she would go to school, Um, deal with kids who were great, well behaved, but also kids who are menaces and parents who are menaces. And then she's identifying more than just these are my kids.

It's this child has this learning issue. This child over here comes from a home where this is happening. This child is a selling too fast, and I have to make a little extra room for them. She's doing this for thirty kids all at once, my mom. And then after that she would stay later, she would stay until the last parent picked up their kid, because there always was a parent that would come in and be like, oh man, pick up, set three up the same time

every day and come in at five thirty. And then she would go home and she would sure grade papers, which is the thing we all think is like, oh, that's what they do at home, but no, it's doing lesson plans which takes up like an hour. Um, it's doing learning new development material that the school district puts

out that the teachers have to learn themselves. Exactly, and I can go on and on, but I just think people who maybe don't have a teacher so close in their life, I don't know how big the job is, and it's one of the reasons why I firmly believe they should be paid more. But I hope your show does this because you don't. You know what your show has done. I think a really great job of is that it shows the human side of being a teacher. We've only watched what seven episodes of the show already.

You have quadrupled your ratings from the first episode, which I didn't even know it was possible either. I always thought it was like start at the top and then you just gradually. Network TV never does that. And you've broken records, you've changed history. You you know, congratulations and two has already been you know all of this, And I think a lot of it comes from the dynamic of the cost. How did that happened? How is everybody so comfortable in such a new thing? Oh my goodness.

I feel like I got to pick everyone I wanted for the cast, and I think that's rare. You know, usually there's some issue like you can't get this person you want because of this reason, you can't get this person, blah blah blah. But I also had like a personal connection to each person that I cast and knew what type of person they were. Ultimately, I think, you know whatever, everyone has different opinions, but I wanted my show to feel like a workplace. I know, it's TV, and TV

can be crazy, and we accept it. We accept like a bunch of crazy uh this shit. You know, yeah, we were did the Today Show this morning side, but we you know, we accept like that behavior, We accept like so much. But I didn't want it to be like that because, you know, is my show and I

was no asshole policy. I believe in the same thing. Yeah, you know, so getting all these people together in a room that the first time we filmed the pilot, everyone's just energizing and feeling good about each other and feeling good about the show that they're making too. So I think everyone's happy to be there and I love that. I just you, you know, you maybe one of the few people I know who has gone off of the

Internet because of too much positivity. January, You're like one of the few people I know who's gonna guys, I'm gonna take a break from Twitter. There's too many positive comments. I have to take a moment, please, And I think it's because of what you put out into the world. You know, I hope you never lose it. You you have this thing. It's so authentic that I know everyone asks you questions. I mean, it's there's a fervor around

the show, which I hope never never ends. One of the more confusing things that happens to people was a video where all the kids are leaving and you know, you're saying that it's the mid season break. All the kids are leaving, but they're all saying goodbye to you as your character. You know, so fin mis TV se you on Monday. You guys, be careful. Anyone was watching this video and some people thought, yeah, that the kids don't get paid and the kids on it was very

confusing with some people, it was very confused. I'm not sure they jumped there until we don't pay them. We take a few steps before we get to later the world is a bad place. People think it was a bad place. If nothing else. That really showed it to me. I was like, no, no, no, no no, we would never not pay the kids, Like why would you dump there?

Please don't look. People were very confused by but the way our set operates with the mockumentary style camera work, the kids are viewing it as a typical TV set. They know that some people are moving around with cameras, but they can't bank on where those cameras will be, Okay, so it doesn't look like this, and so to them it almost feels like there in a classroom and someone's

making a documentary. Absolutely in our classrooms look so real because they also have school there where the kids actually have school there. Yeah, because studio, you know, they have to have school. So they don't know me as Quinta Brunson girl from you know, the Internet and TV. They just know mistigues and sometimes I have to tell them to be quiet as mistigues. They would raise their hand

and be like miss Tees. He hit me, miss Teaues after the bathroom, and I would just have to play the part so we could get through the Yeah, so we could get through the scene. And they know they're acting. By the end, some of them kind of started to figure out there like, uh, this is a set, Like yeah, I'm on TV, so and your name is Clinta. My mommy told me. I'm like, Okay, you're not figuring out anything groundbreaking, but all right, I love it. I love

I love everything you do. Thank you, thank you, and thank you for your continued support. Always been so supportable for my career. I appreciate it. Yeah, thank you so much. All right people. Abbot Elementary returns to ABC on Tuesday, March two, and is available to street on Hulu. If you haven't started watching it, you're missing out. Just go and catch up and then we'll do it together. All right, We're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right

back off to this. Well, that's our show for tonight. But before we go, families in Ukraine are fleeing violence and urgently need emergency aid. CARES Immediate Crisis Response aims to reach four million people, prioritizing women and girls, families, and the elderly. So if you can, please donates at the link below to rush urgently needed water, food, hygiene

kits and ongoing support in Ukraine until tomorrow. Stay safe out there, get your vaccine and remember, if your upstairs neighbors making too much noise, just report them for being an oligarch and the FBI we'll do the rest What's the Daily Show weeknights at eleven Central, earned Comedy Central in stream fool episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast