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Your Holy Ronnie, you're con dem damn show.
I'm Ronnie Shang. We've got a great show for you Tonight. The TSA is going DIY. The COVID vaccine meets its biggest fan, and we sent Michael Casta down to the border and unfortunately he came back. Plus, my friend Aquafina is joining me on the show.
So let's get it done.
Let's begin with the pandemics. Yes, remember that next week will be for you. Since the day we started to take it seriously because Tom Hanks got it. Oh no, not Tom, take chat instead.
But everything's fine now.
The CDC just issued new guidance saying that you don't even have to isolate if.
You get COVID anymore. That's right.
You can go ahead and keep coffee into people's faces as long as you feel a little bad about it afterwards. It really feels like no one's trying to avoid COVID anymore, well, almost no one.
A German Man has puzzled scientists after he deliberately got more than two hundred COVID nineteen vaccinations two hundred and seventeen to be exact, over two and a half years. That's a shot every four days roughly.
Of course, scientists are wondering what the effect was on him. First of all, he didn't report any vaccine related side effects at all. Secondly, his immune response did show an increase in immune cells, but not necessarily a better or worse immune response. And finally, guys, he never got sarskob too, the virus that causes COVID.
Sorry, two hundred and seventeen shots, an approach also known as the immune system bukake. If you laugh at that, you are disgusting. I mean, I mean, I know anti vaxxers are stupid, but let's not overcorrect here, all right. I will say this. Though a lot of people did their own research, this man became his own research. That's commitment and also a nice change of pace to see Germans doing human experiments on themselves.
And also, hey.
I'm glad that he didn't suffer any major side effects. But sadly for this guy, doctors still haven't found a cure for being weird. As let's move on to the ongoing crisis in Gaza, where the United States is taking extreme measures to solve a tiny fraction of the problem.
The United States has conducted another air drop of aid in the Gaza Strip. The mission delivered six thousand meals in the north but it's still far below the amount of a needed for the around three hundred thousand Palestinians who remained in the Northern Strip after the Israeli invasion.
Air drops are probably the least efficient and most expensive way to deliver ate, but it's a last resort with Israel blocking critical supplies on the ground.
Yes, that's right.
America managed to air drop food around a blockade that Israel built with weapons America gave them. That's good, but wouldn't be better if the United States just told Israel just move move by the way we gave you that we'll trying to help people go away.
Yeah, it just I don't know.
It just seems a lot less efficient that uber eats drop food from a thousand feet off or yelling hey, don't forget to give us five stars.
Oh maybe I don't know.
America should just invent weapons that only fire food and send those to Israel.
That way, when you go there, use the tank.
It just fires burritos, efficient and delicious.
Move on to some domestic news.
Here in America, the TSA is testing out a new way to make airport security even more annoying.
This could be the future of airport security. At the TSA's Innovation Checkpoint at Las Vegas, international travelers are testing new self service.
Technology for the first time. The idea is it's supposed to be like a regular.
TSA checkpoint, except fewer TSA agents and hopefully streamlined.
Do you have everything coming into inside your bit?
Yes?
Here, passengers are greeted by a virtual agent.
If you have a question, it's really easy just to talk to the camera, get a very.
Quick answer back.
Really agent, real person.
Right who doesn't have to physically be in the checkpoint with you.
They're still performing the function that we've asked them to perform, but in a different location.
What the is this shit?
So it's a regular TSA line, but you added a zoom meeting.
So hey, I.
Said, I don't have a bomb, I don't have a bum. What what You'll mute it? You'll mute it?
I can't. Oh wait, sorry, I'm muted. I'm muted.
Okay, This isn't gonna work, guys, okay, because we all know what it's like to work remotely. TSA is gonna be pretending to look for bombs, but they actually have poorn opening another tack, right, and even if they do catch someone, what they're gonna do order us to tackle ourselves. Hey, I got a solution for you, TSA. It's a new form of technology called open another lane.
Just open another lane.
In fact, in fact, it doesn't even matter what TSA is doing, okay, because the problem is the people. There's always a guy in line holding everyone up, trying to bring a full sort of armor through the X ray machine.
I'm sorry, it's this metal. I'ma but look.
Now, this even really matters because once you get through security, there's a good chance the door will fall off your plane anyway.
Okay.
So, and finally, while the TSA is trying to reduce the number of security agents, the New York City Subway is getting a shit ton more.
The controversial new plan to addrests crime on the subway.
A thousand members of the National Guard and the State Police will join forces with transit cops to conduct backchecks and patrol hundreds of subway stations.
The move by New York's governor follows a reported forty five percent spike in transit crimes in January.
The NYPD reminds people it is worth taking their long standing advice on how to stay safe, watch your things, and at least lower the volume on those headsets that you wear, or take them out entirely.
I'll shut up, mom, I'm definitely not lowing the volume on my music. Okay, you think I want to be a loan with my thoughts on public transport, I'd rather get stabbed. And look, look, I'm not saying crime isn't a problem in the New York subway.
Okay.
A forty five percent spike in transit crimes in January alone is actually kind of impressive. I mean, New York criminals are the only ones keeping the New Year's resolutions. But getting the military to search bags for weapons isn't gonna solve it.
Okay, because New.
Yorkers can make a weapon out of anything, a bottle of vape, a day old bagel. It's prison rules down there, Okay. Anything can be a shave if you stab hot enough. Drawing up invasion plants for the sea train just feels like you're playing off people's fears. All right, My mom lives in Singapore. She's already worried for me here. She thinks of New York subway is a fist fight to the death every day, when really it's only a fist fight to the death only once or twice a week.
For more on this story, let's go to a New York City subway station with Troy IWAA.
Troy, Troy, Troy.
What's the mood down there?
It's great, Ronnie. Everyone feels super secure. There's sixty soldiers here, fifty more police. The coast Guard has a dinghy floating in that gross puddle over there.
It is it is.
Down, Okay, glad to know that people are feeling safe. What are the long term plans for addressing the root causes of subway crime?
Long term?
Those are big words, don't I don't follow.
I don't know.
I don't like mental health, treatment of affordable housing?
Oh oh, does sound like really nice expensive things?
You know?
We just don't.
We don't have the money for that.
Okay, but how much did all that national God stuff costs?
Don't worry about that. That's military spending, so it doesn't doesn't count.
What do you mean it doesn't count? It costs money. Money is money.
Money is money except money for the military. You know, you know how like calories or calories, except when it's your birthday or you're sad. Military money it just appears when it's needed, you know, like a fairy godmother with a rocket launcher.
I don't think that's how the military works. But even so, shouldn't we invest in a long term solution to help people get around safely?
Yeah?
Yeah, I guess we could have the military bring people to work. You know, have you ever been air dropped into your office? It hurts, but it's fast.
That sounds like it will cost like a trillion dollars.
A trillion military dollars, not my personal dollars.
Where do you think money for the military comes from.
The war prize? When we win the war, you get the war prize?
And okay, you know what, Troy, just just get the train.
Back to the office.
Oh, there are delays which we cannot fix because we are broke.
It's a CONUNDRUMA Troy want everybody when we come back.
Michael, cos I go to a border, so don't go away.
Welcome back to the show.
The Boril crisis is a major issue in this election cycle, but Michael Costs, though, went down to Eagle Pass, Texas to discover another invasion.
Eagle Past, Texas has become the epicenter of the national immigration debate, as over the last year, an unprecedented number of migrants crossed here to apply for asylum, and for many observers, this complex issue can only be summed up in one word, invasion.
We are being invaded.
We are being invaded.
We're being invaded.
We're being invaded, just like it's a military invasion. But how are the locals coping with this? Relentless onslaught?
They've come and taken over the town.
It's our land, and there's just people coming.
In causing you know, havoc and craziness. There's chaos.
Shouldn't you be welcoming?
Don't you have any empathy for the journey they've taken together.
They're not welcomed the hell out of our place.
You can't move around seeing them.
You can't get a meal in a restaurant, can't get a hotel room unless you're going to pay four hundred dollars.
Wa Wait, who are you talking about right now?
The State Guard from Florida, Tennessee, Arkansas, Idaho.
Oh, what you'd need to be afraid of is some of these convoys of people.
They're talking about Central American caravans.
Oh, no, we're talking about the people that are invading the country here, not the Mexico.
The invasion here is from Governor Abbot and the Trumpers and the Maga people.
Yes, Eagle Pass has been overrun since Governor Greg Abbott declared a crisis at the border and sent in the Texas National Guard, attracting a flood of Republican governors, congressional delegations in even billionaire weirdos.
This is our.
Tax payer dollars being put to use by coming.
Out to Eagle Pass.
And what's happened is it's jacked up the hotel prices.
Our room is three hundred and seventy dollars and they don't even have any handlations understood understood. What is your message to the people that want to come down here and don't come?
Okay, but be more clear, please don't come.
It's not just cool guys and scarves that are being victimized in this conflict, but also local small business owners who resemble Sam Elliott.
Right now, the only people that are going into the water are individuals from the press that can want to see how ugly it is out there.
The governor of Texas is here disrupting your job, and you wanted to port them.
Get them out because I mean, I'm expected to follow federal law, local law, state law. I would expect the same thing from our leader of our state.
Sam Elliott and his mustache's concerns were justified because when America sends its people to Eagle Pass, they're not always sending their best. Some I assume drove countless hours to sit outside a fence.
But why this is my land.
I'm from Texas. I'm glad to support those people who are fighting for me, Ma La my land. Do we have guts enough to defend ourselves?
Do we now?
Are?
You're shutting your head?
You don't really, I'm not practical.
You're wearing a suit.
You've been successful in the New York media. You know what, you sold your soul to the devil.
If I sold my soul to the devil to be successful in news media, I would be more successful. I wouldn't be sitting here in an Eagle Past, Texas. You think I want to stay at a Marriotte town plaza with no body lotion.
That sounds like something the devil would site.
Yes, Dan's fashion fatigue hurt and his outlook was very confrontational, so I decided to talk to the chairwoman of the county Republican Party for a more measured view.
So we've had this invasion and it's fully turned this town upside down.
You mean from Governor Abbott, from the thirteen out of state Republican governors, news media such as myself.
No, I'm talking about the illegal.
Wetbex And I'm sorry, what was what did you call them?
Wetbas?
Wetbax man, I haven't heard that word in a long time. Okay, Now that you'd gotten that out of her system, I was ready for a more nuanced conversation.
We just want them to come legally through the front door.
Calling them wet backs to me is not a we welcome you here.
I want them to come legally.
That's what I want.
So they aren't wet backs, so they don't have to swim the river.
They wouldn't be wetbax if they didn't.
Obviously, there's some disagreement about whether we should let people from other countries seek refuge here, and whether we should refer to them with vintage racist slurs, but as militarizing the border actually worked to keep anyone out. I asked Magali or Beanup whose pecan farm borders the Rio Grande.
I asked them to several times, please don't put the wire up.
We don't want it.
It's liability.
Yeah, and they just came in and they put it up.
Anyhow do you think the fencing and the buoys and the razor wire do you feel.
Like that's working?
No, No, not at all.
The governor's just pushing them out to New Mexico, Arizona, to California.
But guess what, they're still coming in.
So if they haven't solved the migrant crisis, could there be another purpose for the thousands of state guards, miles of barbed wire, and throngs of sunburned politicians and Eagle.
Pass I would have to say it has to do with the fact that it's an election here.
A narrative is being told that creates chaos, scarce people.
It's what's going to win them the election.
Do you think this issue at the border has a lot to do with Donald Trump's reelection.
Yeah you do.
Trump is concerned about the welfare of the people made this country. He's not worried about trying to look good so that he can get a leg.
Guy with a golden toilet and a spray tan isn't worried about looking.
Go it's a political stunt. The Republican been there, of course, who don't get a.
Band I might have been Spanish, but I forgot ten days than in politician.
Well, it's kind of a heavier word than idiots. Not as heavy, not as heavy as prayers, but heavier than idiots.
Stupid, somewhere between mother Becker an idiot.
I would say so as I'd come to understand. The border is a complex issue that affects people's real lives. It's so much more than a photo op. But before I left town, there was one more thing for me to do.
Thank you, Michael.
When we come back, I'll Wafino be joining me on.
The show, So don't go away.
Hey, welcome back to the Heavy Show.
My guest Tonight is an Emmy nominated actor and comedian who starts in the new film Kung Fu Panda four. Please welcome the one and only aquafina.
Right, all right, all.
Right, thanks thanks for comments comment. It's good to see you guys. Yeah, good to see you again. It's great. So what's this one?
Is?
What come Fand when you came out? Yeah they did. It was even louder when I came in. So come Fu Panda four?
Right? Yeah, yeah, good movie, great movie.
I agree. I think it's amazing. Yeah you know I'm in that movie too.
Oh yeah, right, yes, you are in that MOVI. Yes, you are in that movie. Yeah, I'm in that movie too. So in that movie. You are in that movie? You you uh, you know what do all this press for it? Yeah? I've been doing a lot.
No one's asking me any questions about that movie. Why do you ask me some questions about this movie? I'm in the two? Ask me some questions about you want to ask you? Okay, yeah, okay, So we're doing good. Okay, I'm gonna go out. You're introduced you as a guest.
Okay, just read that and you can ask me some questions.
All right, you're gonna go out, Yeah, just read from that. Okay, just read that, come all right, and then interview me about this movie.
Yeah, okay, okay, guess wait, okay, go, okay.
Wow, that's so nice, My guests tonight is a towering figure in comedy and icon for all Asians, a colossal acting talent who deserves his own action franchise, and my personal hero who I'm honored to even breathe the same air with. Please welcome Ronnie Chang.
Yeah, how can you hear that? Traders? Okay, there we go. I prepare some questions for you in case.
Your voice acting is so realistic?
Did you go to Juilliard or something? Oh? I'm glad you asked that.
You know, I just think that sometimes with voice acting, you want to you know, yes, natural as you can. So I'm kind of proud to say I didn't have any formal training in it. I just, you know, I just think authenticity is the key to a good animal uh animation?
Yeah, yes, yes, one hundred percent that I mean. This year we saw actors take on some incredibly challenging roles with Stilian Revie or Killan Revie and As Oppenheimer, Bradley Cooper as Leonard Bernstein, and Ronnie Chang as Fish in Kung Fu Panda four.
How How do you? Yes? Yeah, I keep it going, keep it going, keep it going. How do you prepare to take on such a big role.
Well, you know, I've been kind of eating fish my whole life, so I feel like I knew what this character would really tastes like, and I kind of, you know, I channeled that into I tried to put a little bit of fishiness into.
You live inside a bird? Yes, and spoiler alert, yeah, I live in a bird character.
You know, it's actually the second marine character developed your in a Kung Fu Panda franchise.
Really take it what.
Figure figure?
It's not to uh, it's had to show on the aquatic animals on land.
But while we figured it out.
This is this is the fourth project you've done with me. How does it feel to always be below me on the call show?
You know what? I didn't forget that what he says?
All right, anyway, this is the fourth project we've done together. We have We've done so much cool stuff together. We have, yeah, done crazy occasions, We did shang ches together, we did Come Fu Panda Panda. It was the other one, that's true. You were on my show, yeah, Noah from Queen's on Comedy Central.
Whoops, I was on that.
I forgot that was on that show that was on my own network. Yeah, yeah, thanks for having me on that, by the way, thank you for Yeah. Yes, such a cool icon, you know from New York City, worn and raised queens.
Yeah yeah, yeah. What's your what's your connection to New York City? What do you mean? I mean?
I was from here? Yeah, raised here. I love I love you know, bagels and pizza.
Oh no, but.
Sorry, watch you up asked a question, Bet, I meant like, you know, you had your family restaurant here.
Right, oh yeah, right, yeah, my yeah, we had the first Chinese restaurant in Flushing was called Lums. It was my great grandpa, my great grandpa, Jimmy Lum came over in the nineteen forties and and then it kind of went out of business and in the eighties.
Yeah yeah, great Riagonomics and then but what was you You grew up in that restaurant? I didn't.
I grew up in a restaurant because then they had an offshoot. After Lums closed, my grandma opened a new one, and so I grew up like in the restaurant, so like I would eat that would.
Yeah, yeah, so very much. In the in the in the kitchen, in the kitchen.
I ate like a scoop of MSG one time, like just like literally literally, I it was crazy.
It was crazy. It's like a crazy it's not okay, Maybe I just try that sometime to.
This yeah this yeah, yeah, well this this new I got. I got spent at least something I got talked talking about this movie a little bit.
You're you play a.
Collac Okay, sorry, Corsack, call sack fox.
You're mispronouncing it is that real.
Animal animal, beautiful Asian fox.
Yes, you play a beautiful Asian fox in yes, yes.
Yeah, yeah, there you go.
That's what you look like over there.
And I don't know if I spoil it, but it's a pretty important role in this because not only are you the second lead, you know, something happens in this movie that you know, really it really will change the franchise whatever I think. Yeah, I don't know if you can talk about that, but you want, you want to. You can't say what's gonna the spoiler alert?
Yeah yeah, ok, well, well.
I think I think the movie is just this one. I watched it a lot. I was a fan of it, and I'm a huge fan of Jack Black, who's you know, like kind of reprising this role. And yeah, I mean like he's he's really the real deal. And and so I think it's now speaking to I think the adults that that kind of watched it and you know, them moving on and stuff like change and stuff like that.
Yeah, that's great. Okay. Should we kind of really lost steam in this one after Yeah, once we started being too sincere we got lost. Yeah, okay, when we're doing the bid, it was do you mean to be lessons here? No? No, No, it's okay, Well, what all this out of the way, Well we'll go from well ed. Well, okay, I'll give you I'll give you something for YouTube. Just ok So, what was it like working with Jad Black?
It was so good?
I love.
I love I love him. Are you really asking? No, We'll use it to say we'll cut all the stuff that's bad.
Only these people will know. Yeah, okay, cut everything. Well, start an interview from here. Yeah, So what was it like working.
With Jack Black? Working with Jack Black? Is I mean, are you kidding? No, I'm not.
No? No, do it.
Just do the press thing so we can go home.
Do the press thing, do the Yeah, just say Jack Black's great, movies great, and you know, I was like, yeah, just just go just going to press mode, going to press mode. Okay, what's it like working with Jack Black?
You know what, Ronnie, it was.
So good and I and Kung Fu Panda for you especially so good in it.
Yeah.
I hope we can hope we can sell a lot of stuff.
Animals in that thing.
I don't know because you would be in because you have to open the whole bird's mouth.
Yeah, my stuff animal is actually like two figures in one.
So cool. Yeah.
Also, you know Jack Black interesting his mom. His mother was one of the women who contributed to the NASA Polo program. She coded the programs that let yeah man go to the moon. Yeah, so you know, way to go Jack Black's mom.
Yeah, not just not just a physical genius.
No, I got to meet him at the premier because I'm not famous enough to hang out with you guys in the studios.
Well you were in the TikTok with them, you got in the.
Tech No, the premier. Yeah, I met him at the first prem at the movie premier.
It was very nice. It was nice to see you there.
Yeah, you were nice to see me. Yeah. And he's just such a ball of energy, you know, he's like a physical genius. It's very hard to keep.
Up with him. Like, I mean, he's so funny.
Yeah, he's super funny, very energetic. Also a bunch of other Asians in this movie. Yes, James Hong, No, I meant that sincerely. James Hong's names. Yeah, legend legendary, James Hong. He's like ninety four. I think he's still in that.
Yes, I mean he's he We were at the grove and we went up the trolley and he and he like I can think he was doing a bit, but he was like, oh no, there's stairs. But then he I think he was jokingly ran up them. Oh yeah, he's like so rightly, so much energy.
Yeah, yeah, unlike some presidents I know. Yeah, yeah, he's still going going, very strong. And when you hear his voice acting in the movie, you're like, this dude doesn't sound on you for all. This guy sounds like you know.
I think he was the best.
I think he was the best other Asian actor other than in the movie.
Other than yeah, other than.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, is incredible.
All right, Okay, you know what, let's send this so we can go home. No, no, it's really good to see you.
Man.
You'll honestly the best. I've known you for so long. You've always been really cool to me. Kays in theaters nationwide on Everybody.
That's Over the Night, Your Momental Day.
We heard from Michelle Obama's staff today that she officially is not running for president.
If you read between the lines, she's not saying she wouldn't agree to be drafted at the convention in Chicago, her hometown. She's saying she's not running for president, so there is a chance. And I'm not just saying that to titillate the audience, or maybe I am.
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