Twitter Blue Goes Off The Rails | Jordan Peele

got a fun show lined up for you tonight. The mid terms are getting people high. Sean Penn just won the war in Ukraine and thanks to Elon Musk, now you can be Elon Musk. Plus the one and only Jordan pill is joining us on the show. Star. Let's let's und straight into today's headlines. All right, people, I'm gonna be honest with all the news happening right now. I don't think we have enough space in today's show.

And I tried. I tried everything, I promise you. I even put the news in the laundry hoping it would shrink, but then it just came out cleaner and smelling like lavender. And we still don't have enough time for it all. Fortunately, not enough time. It's just enough time for a segment week hall Ain't nobody got time for that? Alright, Let's kick things off with the mid term elections. A night's so disappointing for Republicans. Mitch McConnell is flying his jawls

at half masks. As of right now, there are several big races that are still too close to call. For instance, will Republican Adam laxalt to hold onto his lead in the Nevada Senate race. Will Lauren Bobert's sleep squeak one out in Colorado? Will election deny a carry Lake accept the results if she loses the Arizona governor's race, or will she try to hang whoever? Arizona's Mike Pant says,

nobody knows. And one reason it's so hard to predict the results is that Americans cost ballots in so many different ways, and they all come in differently and separately, all right. And Democrats tend to vote early by mail or drop box, Republicans show up on election day or use military ballots, and herschel Walker votes the way he fathers his children. Absentee. But there is one unfinished race that's not all that close and it's a real trip.

We're still watching Proposition one two, which appears likely to pass, and if it does, Colorado would essentially legalize psychedelic mushrooms. Passing the proposition with decremine allized personal possession right away, and then it would allow license medical facilities to administer the natural medicine starting in Yeah, that's right. After being one of the first states to legalize marijuana, Colorado is not one of the first states to legalize mushrooms. And

I think it's great. I think it is, Yeah, because of creating like a instead of creating a drug underworld, Colorado is bringing everything else and to the open. You know, you can legalize that, you can regulate it. It's like those parents who give their kids wine with dinner. You know, it's like, yeah, I'd rather they be drunk in front of me because it's safer. And also it's funny to

watch them bumping into things. Girl, look at you, Tyler, And I know right now, I know, right now, there's some people seeing this low going into effect in that panic and they're like, shrooms, who are gonna be legal what? And I'm like but hey, hey, just relax, relax, breathe, You're gonna be just fine. Just drink more water and listen to some enya. Okay and yeah and yeah and yeah.

It's a weird name. I'm freaking out again. But personally, I'm all for drug laws getting less restrictive, and if they do officially legalized rooms, I'm also excited for their next ballot measure. Why are my hands so big? Now? If we had more time, we could talk about whether the acceptance of recreational drug use can lead to increased

understanding of the therapeutic value of psychedelics. Oh, how weird it is that drugs are like the one illegal thing we get to vote on to make legal, you know, Like, why don't we legalize jaywalking or even better, jay driving? Why do the pedestrians have the sidewalks after themselves? But we don't have the time for any of that, because while the US is abandoning the war on drugs, Ukraine is still fighting its war with Russia, and its leader

just got some really strange military assistance. The actors on pen most often doing the unpredictable. He did it again, this time loaning his oscar to the President of Ukraine, but it comes with a condition. Video posted online shows Pen handing the oscar to Ukraine in President Zelinsky. He said Zelenski can keep it until Ukraine wins the war against Russia. Penn has visited Ukraine several times since the

fighting began last February. If I know this is here with you, then I'll then I'll feel better and strong enough for the fight when you when you win, bring it back to m Alba. Okay, I don't even know how to process this information, and am my own mushrooms? Is is it happening already? Like like already? I don't get it. How does the oscar help Zelensky fight the wall?

It's supposed to use it as a weapon. I mean, if that's the case, at least give him too so he can use them like nunchucks, like on a chain, you know. And it would be strange enough if he just gave him an oscar to help win the war. But he wants Zelensky to return it. That was the weird part for me. He's like, make sure you bring this back to me. That's a lot of responsibility. The man is already running a war against Russia. Now he's gonna make sure that nothing happens to Sean Penn's oscar.

It's like air raid sirens are going off there, like quickly, sir, quickly, everyone get to the bunker. He's like coming. I just need to find Sean penn'scar. Can you it back? Can needs it back? The only way I think this could work as if Zelensky gave the oscar to Putin and then while Putin gave the acceptance speech, the music just played him off and then he had to leave you crazy. But wait, I wasn't finished. Okay, good night, goodbye everybody.

I actually hope that Zelenski is a fan of Sean Penn's movies, because because we don't know what else happened there, you might have gotten really awkward. You know. Sean Penn is like here, I want you to have my best actor. Oscar for Milk, Yes, Yes, one of my favorite film my I remember watching it and thinking, well that this lot of milk more where you come drink all the milk.

Powerful story. Now, if we had more time, we could talk about the other major development in the war, which is that Russia was just forced into another embarrassing retreat from a major Ukrainian city, probably because they heard Ukraine has Sean Penn's Oscar now. But we don't have the time for that, because right now, the one thing being mismanaged worse than Putin's war is Elon Musk's websites. On Twitter has officially debuted it's verified blue check marks in

the future, is already causing a lot of confusion. Subscribers who pay the eight dollar monthly fear now entitled to some additional perks, namely the blue check mark previously reserved for verified accounts. The problem is some of those users are using their newly acquired verification to impersonate celebrities and other public figures. Someone pretending to beat Lebron James tweeted,

I am officially requesting a trade from the Lakers. An account that appeared to be from the pharmaceutical company Eli Lily announced that all Inland would now be free. Meanwhile, a user impersonating George W. Bush declared I miss killing Iraqis, and a fake account for Nintendo simply tweeted a picture of Mario giving the finger. Oh no, because anyone can buy verification, they're now impersonating famous people who could have seen this coming what everyone? Wow, where were you guys?

Forty four billion dollars ago? Look, I'm gonna be honest and I'm gonna be blunt. Here. Elon Musk is running Twitter into the ground, and it's the best Twitter's ever been? Are you kidding me? Fake Lebron leaving l a, Mario flipping the bird, George Bush telling us how he really feels the thing is an absolute train wreck and I'm here for it. The only reason we know that that wasn't the Mario was because Mario would never flip someone

the bird. He's Italian. Come on, Yeah, he probably do this, right, But this is like, hey, Cooper, tell your mother said hello? Why? But who knows? Who knows? Maybe all of this verified real fake people on Twitter chaos is actually part of Elon's plan. Yeah, maybe this is what he's doing on purpose, so no one will know a real account from a fake account. And then he'll be like, guys, did you see someone impersonated me and spent four billion dollars on Twitter?

That was crazy? Well, I'm just gonna take my money and be on my way. Okay, bye bye, now bye bye. Now. If we had the time, we could discuss how this verified fiasco isn't just hurting Twitter, it's also damaging Tesla Stock. Oh, we could definitely talk about how Rihanna just said on Twitter that she wanted me to perform with her at the Super Bowl, and no, it's not a fake account

because she even asked for my Social Security number. But we don't have the time for any of that, because while Twitter is faking celebrities, a real celebrity is in trouble for faking his life. Vogue issuing rappers Drake and twenty one Savage for using a fake cover story to

promote their new album Her Loss. So back in October, Drake shared what appeared to be a Vogue magazine cover featuring himself and twenty one Savage with the caption me and my brother on the newsstand tomorrow, thanking Vogue editors for their support. Well, apparently they did not like this, because the publishers they filed a complaint in federal court this week, saying the stunt was infringement of the company's trademark. So far, no comment on the law suit from Trade

or Savage. Yeah, that's right. Vogue is suing Drake and one Savage for four million dollars for photo shopping themselves onto the cover of the magazine, which, to be honest, I don't know if Vogue has a case here. You can clearly tell that this was a fake cover. I mean, Vogue lighting black people properly. This is clearly not real. No, it's parody, but the beef is very real. The biggest name in magazines is going up against the biggest name in hip hop. That's no joke. This hasn't happened since

Tupac got shot by Reader's Digest. That ship was no gang. Now, just for context, this Vogue cover wasn't the only fake promotion Drake in twenty one Savage I've been doing right. He also released a fake interview with Howard Stern, a fake SNL performance, fake appearance on NPR like Tiny Desk, which is a little weird because he's Drake. He doesn't have to fake any of these things. You know, it's so weird to me. It's like, Drake, if you want to be on NPR, I'm pretty sure you can be

on NPR. This would be like Obama photoshopping himself at a Buffalo wild Wings. You know, It's just like, look, Michelle, it almost looks like I was actually there. How cool would that be? Come on, you're the pregnitt and you

can go to the Buffalo Wild Wings. Now, if we had the time, we could talk about how Vogue has inadvertently given Drake in twenty one Savage way more than four million dollars worth of publicity by suing them, making this the most successful marketing campaign ever for their brand. But we don't have to talk about that because we have some brands who would like to sell you about some very real products they'd like to sell you. We'll

be right back, Welcome back to the day's show. Tomorrow is Veterans Day in America, and to commemorates it, we look at a group of veterans who sometimes get looked over. In another edition of Ronnie Chang teaches you about Asians. Hello, class, thanks for coming, although you really had no choice, since if you don't come to school in America, your parents

get arrested. Today we're gonna learn about some of the great Asian veterans in US history because Asians have served in the US military for almost as long as America has fought in wars, which is basically the whole time America loves war soul much it wants to have its babies and then send those babies to go fight in the next war. Anyway. First top is Augustine Feliciano, who fought in the War of eighteen twelve, which happened in Yeah, the tess guy doesn't actually say so, nice going morons.

Feliciano was the first Filipino to serve in the U. S. Navy. But before he sailed with the navy, he sailed with pirates. That's right, American history has Asian veterans and Asian pirates. I'm blowing your freaking mind today. What's next Asian werewolves? No, that's beneath us. Let's fast forward to America's Civil War, the first one, not the one currently happening every day in your Twitter feed. The Civil Wars, where Chinese American

soldiers began to make their mark. Of the roughly two Chinese Americans living in the Eastern US at the time, fifty eight of them served in the war. That's fifty eight two hundred. Can you calculate the percentage from that number. It's easy. You just cross out of zeroes, you move to this one point over. You fit the whole thing you multiplied by a hundred, and you play your phone and used a calculator. Math is easy, especially for me, a teacher. One of the most distinguished Chinese Civil War

vets was Joseph Pierce. He rose in the ranks to corporal, the highest rank of any Chinese American in the Union Army, which I can also relate to because I am the highest ranking Asian at the Daily Show, though sadly I do not have as many confirmed kills. And yeah, there were white soldiers in the eighteen hundreds who are taking orders from an Asian guy because those guys were hashtag allies and they didn't even need to brag about it

on Instagram. All right, Julia, we get it. You tell your dark Cantonese, but not every veteran god what they deserve. Edward de Cohotel was a Chinese immigrant adopted by an American ship captain who founded the Civil War and then served for another twenty six years. But get this, America still refused to make him a citizen. Do you believe that? I mean, this guy risked his life in the military for almost thirty years. Most citizens never do anything close

to that. They automatically get citizenship just by getting pooped off of their mom's But that's right. I threw in some sex head for free. You're welcome. Let's move on to World War One and one of his greatest Asian American heroes a lousing Key. He was a runner, which means he ran messengers to the front line, all while dodging gunfire and flamethrowers. That's right, this guy risked his life to send messages. I hope this makes you grateful for texting. In fact, I wish this was still how

we had to send messages. You probably think twice if you have to run across a battlefield to give someone a picture of your dick. Now, let's turn to World War Two. We saw Asian American heroes like Daniel in Newey, who fought the four hundred for his Second Regiment, a unit made up completely of soldiers of Japanese descent and

one of the most decorated regiments in military history. During a combat mission in France, a new escaped death when a bullet to his chest was blocked by two silver dollars. Try doing that with bitcoin, you crypto bitches. Daniel he knew it is why I carry two silver dollars in my breast pocket at all times. Wait where are they? Oh yeah, I got that vending machine coke. Okay, nobody shoot me until I can get to the bullion exchange. Even after his military service, he knew it, went on

to serve fifty years in Congress. So congrats to him on finding the only job worse than combat. But maybe the biggest Asian bad has to come out World War two was Captain Nieves Fernandez, a Filipino school teacher who became a guerrilla warfare fighter and led a squadron that killed over two hundred Japanese soldiers. You hear that class school teachers can become guerrilla assassins. Do not mess with us.

Oh goddamn shop. The last veteran we're gonna learn about today is a living legend, and not how that term is usually used, like if your friend Jake wins a stupid flip cup tournament. I mean an actual legend. Tammy Duckworth. She served as a Black Hat helicopter pilot in Iraq until two thousand and four, when her aircraft was hit by a rocket propelled grenade. She lost her legs and partial use of her right arm. For her sacrifice, she was Arnold with a purple heart. I don't know why

it's purple. I guess whoever designed there was a huge Prince fan. But her service didn't end with the military. She went on to become the first Ti American woman and disabled woman elected to Congress. She also became the first woman to bring a baby onto the Senate floor, although it definitely wasn't the first diaper. Those dudes are

old as ship so class. In conclusion, from now on, when you think of Asians in American history, don't just think of railroads and that guy from Breakfast Actiphanies who isn't actually Asian. Think of Tammy Duckworth, Losnki and Jeves Fernandez who killed build half an army. Speaking of which, I gotta go tend to this neck wood. Knowing how cheap these school districts are probably have lead poisoning class dismissed.

Thank you so much about running, I say, because when we come back, the one and only Jordan Hills will be joining me right here on the show. You don't want a mission. Welcome back to the Data Show. My guest to Mike is an Academy Award winner who create the hit films get out to us and most recently Nope. He's here to talk about his new Spotified original audio horror series called Quiet, Part Loud. Please welcome Jordan Peele

of that field. That field absolutely under for the appropriates you think so, because appropriates, that's what we're gonna It's just gonna be now of applause for you. That's overwhelming. That's what you deserve. That's how you make people feel. You know, That's what you deserve, my friend. I mean, I mean this honestly, I knew this. I want to say,

you don't. I was. I was scrolling on my TV the other day, and you know, I was bouncing around everything between like YouTube and then going through Netflix and then bouncing like different apps and watching. It's amazing to see the impact that you have had on the culture. You know, obviously not really with Key and Peel. Some of the funniest moments and ideas still existing on TikTok kids loving them today, and then you move into like what you did with Keanu and then the new range

of movies. I don't understand this. One of the funniest people out there. You were for a very long time putting out some of the funniest content and now it's just like like scary ship. Is this fullbalanced? What what happens? Is it weird that I think it's funny? Is it? I? You know, I think the comedy part of my career

is still going. I think it's still active. Wow, And part of that, you know, part of I talked about it as sort of like the difference between comedy and horrors the music, and it really does it does feel like that, you know, when when we uh sorry, I'm sorry. Now I'm picturing the ceiling get out with the guys running like you know, he's running at the camera. He's like head on. But now I'm pretty like, I mean, it's like Benny Hill and it's funny. It's funny, and

it's very funny. And I could have done I was at the finish line with that film. I could have gone either way. It would have been a very different film. Um. But but thank you for saying that. Yeah, no, I I I'm I love comedy. It became very uh complex somehow making comedy in this world as it is complex.

I think making anything or getting anything accomplished in this world, it feels like you were the only person who wasn't surprised about the filmmaker you would turn into, you know, And I think it's because you came from this world of sketch, and sketch always seems unplanned and unprepared. It seems off the cuff, but there's so much work that goes into it. And and now you you turned into or rather you've been revealed to us as this film maker.

Like when I was watching Nope, you're sitting in that movie theater, nobody knows what's gonna happen, why it's gonna happen, how it's gonna happen. You successfully got people to not spoil any of the plot points. I don't know how you did that, because people who saw there like, have you seen Nope? I was like, no, I haven't, How is it? They're like nope? But you you create, like you create a feeling thank you well that you know

I have. I just have this love of my audience, and I think of my audiences has been telling me in responding too, because that that very thing is something that they love and that they're going to, uh, they're going to show up for it, and so you know when and and you know you say I knew. I you know when I made when I wrote get Out, I didn't. I didn't even know if they would let me direct it. I didn't. Yeah, that's that's how how

much has changed in my life. You know. I was trying to push this thing, and so I luckily I found a wonderful home and wonderful producers for it. But when I made Nope, that then I you know, I was like, Okay, now, hold on a second. They're gonna let me direct a film. You know, They're gonna let me direct a big movie, and so there's a responsibility there is there is there a pressure. Do you ever, do you ever like feel the weights of your own pressure?

Because get Out is one of the greatest movies that has ever been made. From that moment onwards, everyone is expecting you to create the greatest movie ever made. There's always gonna be that pressure. There's always gonna be the criticism. Is gonna be the critics. Do you feel that as well? Or do you find yourself just making what you want to make? Well, you know a lot of people hate get Out, and there's a certain who these people, well,

they're out there, they are out there. Wow, I get, I get I still get hate from from from that era. I mean, there's a lot of people that don't like the you know, the the agency that it brought interest me and other people. I truly feel that. And so you know, and and and and can you impeel as well? You know, you're you realize people are going to respond, but there's always going to be people who don't respond.

And that's okay. That's part of the adventure of doing something risky, doing something you're not supposed to do, is that you're gonna be pissing people off. But that's okay. I wonder if some people are pistolf at what you illuminate in the stories that you tell, because it's one thing to create a horror movie. It's one thing to create thrill and suspense. It's another thing to to weave into that story everything that we're experiencing in real life.

You know that there are themes of race, there are themes of of gender, there are there are themes like everything is encapsulated in the stories, Like you you went and went, what if there's racism, and what if there's sexism?

And what if there's also a monster, which seems you know, which is the very much the real world once again a documentary, but no, I uh yeah, you know, I mean this one wanted to be about this, you know, this idea that was sort of forming in my head that there's some people, there are some things in this world that are these bad miracles. These are these things that are so entertaining that it uh that we're blinded

to the danger of them. Wow. And so I wanted to make a film about the you know, the human response to these things and how we interact with and how we we will chase it off a cliff. Wow. You do that with everything though, because when they told me you had a podcast, I thought you were going to be interviewing people. I thought it was gonna be a conversation. They're like, no, he made a horror podcast. So I was like, but that's but that's not possible.

And then they send it to me and I was like, Oh, this is terrifying because I just have to use my ears. This was something you know, all of us at Monkey Pot Productions were very excited about, like trying to make the scariest horror podcast of all time. And you know what, people normally use podcasts for a drive. You know, some people play podcasts sleep I've heard and then this slides

into your playlist, you know. And this is something we we we talked about in Horror all the time, which is this idea that it's it's the things you don't see that that are the scariest. It is terrifying because you've created this podcast that is essentially it sounds real.

It sounds like an actual conspiracy theorist, and we're following him and his journey of creating this radio show that sort of sets in a pre Trump world and he's talking about everything that's happening in he's digging into conspiracies, and it feels too real. Jordan's it's and if this is brilliant and Tracy Letts wonderfully plays this, this character and and this whole Faustian thing. It ends up being I'm not going to give away what the what is

going on? But then but there's there's something of yeah as because Yeah As discussed we need to but it's it's a story that needs to be told in the sound medium, because there is a sound element to this parasite and the it's scary when when you tell your stories and and this is something that I feel you've always done, whether it's in a sketch, whether it's in a movie, and now even in the podcast, it feels like you're commenting on the aspects of the world that

we oftentimes take for granted or ignore because they almost seamlessly happening to us, and you you take them, you amplify them, and then it becomes a horror we can't look away from. Like, why do you think it's important for us to focus on those moments, to focus on what's happening in real life? Well, it is, there's there's there. It's important for us to pay attention to the real life monsters. And I think it's important to uh too, And it's important for us to feel fear as it is.

You know, so much of this, so much of this doom scrolling and stuff. It's it really is about us, uh, the fact that fear is something we bury, Fear's something that we don't like. We don't like that feeling will we will converted into anger other things, and so anyway it sgnumbs us as we scroll. Yes, So yeah, did I answer? Did I answer the question with that? I? Well, can I just say, um, I've loved everything that you've created.

I I enjoy how original your art is. I I also really appreciate you know, how you work with the te them that you work with, I mean Kiky Palmer, and people have been loving her forever to see to see her in the movie, to see what you did with them. No, obviously, Daniel, you know we've loved them since forever. You don't just create a story, you also create stars. You know, you also give people an opportunity

to shine on the screen. And I would love to know what you look for in these performers that you think well, I mean, as it does successfully convey the feelings that you're trying to get to the people. Well, you know, first of all, I'm also I'm trying to hitch my wagon to these moving trains, right I'm trying to find people who are ready to do their the their greatest role, you know, and in that perfect place. So I I very much. I'm so I'm so thankful that you know, the Daniels and the key keys of

the world will will come out and do it. But I'm also looking for somebody who is really smart enough to take over the character for me. I I do the work to build this character up to a certain point, and then I need somebody to come in and become the expert it so I can ask them how does Emerald feel? And she can she can answer that question.

We can kind of move from there. And so you know, I just I have very I have the privilege of working with people like like Daniel and like Kiki, who are just you know, the best actors in the world. And then we have the privilege of enjoying everything that you will create together, the privilege of having you on the show. Thank you, my friend. After your package will thank you again. Sure feel everybody, You're gonna take a

prick break over right back after this. Well, let's o shoffic to like watch The Daily Show weeknights eleven ten Central Armed, Comedy Central, and stream Fool episodes anytime. I'll on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast