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This is the Daily Joke with your host Jessie Lion.
Welcome. I'm Jennie Lighter.
You've got so much to talk about tonight. The presidential race might come down to Nebraska. Donald Trump teaches elementary school. And here's an exciting one.
The moon is.
Going to eat the sun. So let's get into the headlines. Before we get into the major news. Let's start some news right here in New York City. The New York City Marathon the best excuse for soiling yourself in public.
Now.
Unfortunately, the costs of running the marathon are overwhelming, from registration fees to travel to chronic bloody nips, and now the price might go up even higher.
It's a battle briolling over the New York City Marathon now because the MTA wants the New York City Roadrunners to cover the cost of lost tolls on that day. It's hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth because they have to shut down the Arizona Bridge. In a statement, the MTA says taxpayers cannot be expected to subsidize a wealthy, non government organization like the Roadrunners. So that could mean super fees for those runners to enter the marathon.
If that's what it's going to take to run the marathon, I think.
A lot of runners are going to just suck it up and do it. Oh, that's kind of frustrating.
It's already think super high. Yeah, because New York's one of the most popular marathons are run.
Come on, you couldn't and wait for her to cool down, dude, you know that run is the twenty minutes of peace that woman had all day. Now, the marathon does generate a lot of money from New York City, so you might be asking is it fair to charge runners even more money? That is, Yeah, if you're going to take over the city and shove it in our face.
How fit you are that you.
Have goals that you achieve, then yeah, you should have to pay for it. In fact, they should pay every time they tell us they ran the marathon.
Yeah, yeah, we know it was three days ago.
You can take off the silver blanket.
And for anyone who thinks this will make the marathon too expensive, might I interest you in a much cheaper alternative. It's called love Island and three pints of Hagandags. I win every time. Let's move on to the presidential race. It's the reason your therapist drives a Porsche mind does. As you know, the president is decided by the Electoral College, the incredibly over complicated system that our founders came up with as a prank on future generations.
Now, most states award.
All their electoral votes to whoever wins the state, but Nebraska splits theirs up by district, and in twenty twenty, that meant Joe Biden received an electoral vote from liberal Omaha because, as it turns out, every state has a Brooklyn. But now Donald Trump has realized that he wants that vote, and that.
Could make all the difference.
Could the election all come down to Nebraska? Donald Trump thinks so, he and his allies convincing Nebraska's Republican governor to support a major change in the way the state has been doling out its electoral college votes for the past thirty two years.
Governor Jim Pillen says it's time for Nebraska to speak with one unified voice by making the popular vote be the one that counts for all five delegates. Former President Trump applauds that effort, but Democrats pushed back.
Pathetic worm.
Donald Trump thinks that he knows what's best for Nebraska and what Nebraskan's want.
But this man obviously wants this s electoral vote because he's so scared he can't win the presidency without it. Excuse me, ma'am, but whatever happened to decorum? That's former president pathetic worm. Yeah, but the implications here are huge. Biden's easiest paths to the White House is to win Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan plus that one Nebraska vote. If he gets that, he can lose every other swing state and still win the election. But if Nebraska makes this change, the election
could end up in a tie. And you might be wondering what happens in that case, Well, it's simple. Really, have you ever seen the purge movies.
Like that?
Nebraska should really truly keep this system, though, because it's certainly a more fair way to divide up electoral votes than winner take all. In fact, what if every state split up their votes like Nebraska by district or maybe even by person, you know, then whoever wins the most persons would be president.
That would be pretty popular. Oh we could call it the popular vote. I don't know, I'm just pitfalling.
But let's move on to some exciting science news. Next Monday, a solar eclipse will totally block out the sun over parts of America, and we're all looking forward to having one brief moment when you can look up into the sky and see something besides the door of a Boeing airplane plummeting towards the room. That's not just a moment for humans, and eclipse offers a once in a lifetime opportunity for Rudy Giuliani to come out and feed during the day.
Yeah, it's good for him. It's good for him. Now.
In the old days, a total clips would be a time when people would gather together as a community and burn the witches responsible for it. But these days we commemorate it in the modern, enlightened way by trying to make that money.
This eclipse is causing a travel boom for small towns in its path.
Hotels here up about five hundred and fifty percent in cities like Jackson, Missouri, where it'll cost on average more than six hundred dollars a night.
In Erie, Pennsylvania. It's almost eight hundred.
Companies so rushing to cash in some of the strangest, some inspired foods, including chips you can only get during the eclipse. Krispy Kreme is even teaming up with Oreos for a donut featuring cookie pieces to catch.
The eclipse from the sky.
Delta offering a flight from Austin to Detroit to give onlookers and out of this worldview.
Wow.
Talk about a flight where you do not want to be in the middle seat. Imagine you end up sitting next to that guy.
Who insists on keeping his window shade down.
Although how cool to celebrate the once in a lifetime event of a Delta flight taking off on time. I love how every civilization honors the heavens in their own way. The ancient Incas built Machu Picchu America put an oreo on a doughnut. You're really milk in this event for everything it's worth. But look, we can't deny that the
eclipse truly is a rare, magical moment. I mean, for those lucky enough to be in its path, you'll never forget that you saw that, and nothing, nothing can take that away from you.
Weather and clouds might get in the way of perfect eclipse.
Viewing in many parts of the country.
For more on how towns across America are celebrating the eclipse, we have our news team live in the path of totality. Ronnie chan in Kerville, Texas. Guys, what's the moon.
Like where where you are?
Oh?
It's amazing, Daisi. I thought this small town would be full of dumb rubes, but it's actually full of the friendliest and most welcoming roobs I've ever met. So nice to see America stop fighting for one day and watch the Sun put on a show.
Save here, DESI, knowing how small we are in the vastness of space, has brought everyone together in love and friendship to wear repurposed Avatar three D glasses. So I agree with everything Ronnie said, except for the part about the sun. Everyone knows the moon is the real star here.
I'm sorry, Jordan, Well, the moon is supporting, but the sun is the real star here. I mean it's literally a star. I'm sorry they didn't teach you that in American kindergarten.
Obviously, I mean star metaphorically. They must not teach metaphors wherever you went to community College. The sun is not why people are putting aside their differences and coming together. Dipshit. They're watching the moon cross over the sun. Unlike you, most people don't stare at the sun all day.
Okay, guys, guys, let's not fall apart over this. The sun and the moon are equally important here.
Oh oh sure, yeah, equally important because if the sun disappears, I mean, all that happens is we all freeze to death, and God forbid, the moon goes away, and then will be what hot of the south, and Jordan won't gains period anymore.
Okay, you put some respect on the moon, all right, It's our cultural touchstone. Good night, moon, moonlight sonata. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's them all right, Tell me this, tell me this.
Have you ever have you ever gotten a moon burn?
No?
The worst thing that happens under the moonlight is that you fall in love or turn into a werewolf. Either way, it's awesome.
Oh sorry, you did you say moonlight? You mean the light that reflects from the sun.
Yo.
The moon is nothing. It's a rock, good thing. It has a weak gravitational pull, so people can leave it easier.
Oh, I thought you'd like the week gravity because it's the one place in the universe where you could actually dunk a basketball. Smart ass.
Okay, guys, guys, guys, stop this.
I thought this eclipse would bring us together.
Shut up, shut up, DENI you probably like Mars or some stupid shits.
Yeah, mass All.
Right, Look, the moon doesn't have shit on the Sun. Okay, you wouldn't even know the moon exists if it wasn't for the Sun. So don't act like the Sun isn't the most important part of the eclipse.
All right?
Oh wait, what are you doing? What are you doing?
I pass what the powerful body can do?
Get out of my.
Ready, even Ronnie, Jane and Jordan's pot for everyone.
Well the day show.
The election is well underway and Donald Trump is back on the campaign trail this week, talking about the issue that's most important to Americans.
I got indicted more than Alphonse Capone al Capone scar, you know how bad he was. You know these are I know somebody guys in the federal the tough guys. If you ever looked at Alphonse Capone, you wouldn't be tough at all. You'd be dead by the morning. Most likely I got indicted more than Alphonse. Alphonse was a tough man. They did a movie called Scarface. Check it out.
Same way you will about Trump, But when he gives you a history lesson, you remember it. I learned that al Capone's name was Alphonse. I learned that if you look at him, you'd be dead by morning. Trump is like the world's worst teacher talking to the world's dumbest third graders.
Anyway, I got us.
Thinking, if this politics thing doesn't work out, maybe Trump has a future in education.
It's the most prestigious.
Educational institution of all time, Trump University. And now the children of those Trump you grads have a school all their own, Trump Elementary, the only school where every class is taught by the smartest man alive. It's a typical day at Trump Elementary, and it looks it's like us history class is about to begin.
I don't know what it is. The Civil War was so fascinating, so horrible.
If you got hit by a bullet in the leg, you were essentially going to die or lose the leg.
That's why you had so many people no.
Legs, no arms.
Next class science, think of it, magnets Now all I know about magnets is this.
Give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets. That's the end of the magnus.
Now let's switch to that.
Multiply four thousand, seven hundred and thirty three. Multiply time steven divide without paper and pencil, by the way, divide it by four, add up another.
Thirty seven and a half.
I watch your number. How many people in this room could do it?
Not too many.
And geography, puert Rica was an island sitting in the middle of an ocean.
And it's a big ocean.
It's a very big ocean.
Okay, time to work on your vocap.
The N word.
You know what the N word is.
It's no, no, no, it's the nuclear word.
How about s one Pueto Rico?
We love Pueto Crica.
And who was Untery?
Good time for p E. Klad.
It wouldn't be a well rounded education from Trump Elementary without a lesson.
And the birds and the bees.
Ah bad happening.
I'm sorry.
The beastly lover of Ken Harby would be joining me on the show, so don't go away.
Welcome day show.
My guests tonight are executive producers and writers of the award winning documentary film Against All Enemies, which exposes the role of military veterans and extremist groups, Please welcome Sebastian Junger and Ken Harbaugh.
Well, hello, thank you so much for being on the show.
Pleasure.
This movie scared the ship out of me.
Was was that?
Was that the goal?
Yeah, it's a it's a it's a tough time in America right now, and I think we all have to pay attention to whether we stay in democracy or not. And that's what the point of this film was, is to get us to think about that.
Yeah, it really really does.
Ken, you're a military veteran, a former Navy pilot. You can absolutely say that the vast majority of veterans have not joined these extremist groups. But but for those that have, what's so compelling to them to join the Oath Keepers, the Proud Boys three percenters.
I'm glad you recognize that the vast majority of my buddies, my brothers and sisters in arms don't go join the Proud Boys or the Oath Keepers. But the ones that do, in many cases do it out of a sense of needing to recapture that camaraderie and that sense of belonging that they felt in uniform. When you take the uniform off, that goes away almost overnight. And one of the things these groups do really really well is recreate that by giving these veterans that sense of purpose and that sense
of mission. The problem is that mission is undermining democracy.
Sebastian.
You explored you co directed in award winning documentary Ristreppo that explores the war in Afghanistan, and you've extensively talked about combat veterans reintegrating into civilian life in your book Tribe. What is it specifically about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq that play a role in everything that we're seeing right now.
I mean, it's complicated. The guys I was with in Afghanistan off and on for a year, you know, they they sort of trended conservative. But I can't imagine any one of those guys doing anything like what happened on January sixth. The real combat veterans usually don't have anything to prove, and I think one of the ways that the January sixth crowd is dangerous. They're dangerous in two
different ways. One is that there are some real deal special forces guys who know what they're doing, who could organize a very serious, violent situation in this country, and we have to be very very careful of those guys. Most of the I would say most of the guys on January sixth, with the beards and the you know, camo, the tactical pants, et cetera, et cetera, might have been
in the military but probably never saw combat. And I think that makes them extremely dangerous because they have this sort of fantasy of themselves as a hero, along with probably some psych disorders, and that creates that creates a very very dangerous mix.
Yeah, you bring that, Would you say that?
Is it fair to say that in this country we could have stronger support systems for those veterans who are coming back and reintegrating into society.
Yes.
I don't think that's the problem here with these guys. I think they're sort of willing dupes of a dishonest ex president and they were sort of they wanted to they wanted to believe something, and they wanted a war to fight, and they wanted to be act in her supposedly heroic way in a crucial moment in history and like save the nation except it's all nonsense, right, And
but that aside just generally for vets. Absolutely, we live in an amazing but alienating modern society and vets come back and it's very hard to fit in, and frankly, it's very hard for all of us to fit in. I mean, the depression and suicide rate in this country is through the roof, Like why would that be?
Right?
Right?
So, extremist groups have been in the US for a long time. But what makes this particular moment so is so impactful and so dangerous.
We have dealt since our founding as a country with extremism, with extremist groups.
But you have to go back a long ways to.
Find a period in American history where a domestic terrorist movement.
Has the cover of a political party.
That is a new situation. When you have a former president name checking an organization the Proud Boys, deemed by Canada is a terrorist entity, name checking them from behind a presidential podium. That is incredibly invigorating for these organizations. And you probably have to go back to the rise of the KKK in the South to find an analog to a terrorist movement that had major political cover and used it to recavoc.
You bring up the former president. He has certainly.
Said some controversial things about veterans, somewhat disrespectful. Some might say he's asked wounded vets to not appear at his events. He's called American service members who have passed suckers and losers. Why is it that you find that your military brothers and sisters are coming to his side.
We all know he has no respect for the military. He disdains the very idea of service. He didn't just call those who serve suckers. He calls those who died fighting for the country suckers. He called those who put on the uniform to serve their country losers. I think it's incumbent upon us to make sure that every single veteran knows between now and the election just how disdainful of the very idea of service the former president is.
There's no real evidence so far that Trump and his followers will accept the election results upcoming.
How do you see this playing out?
It could go a number of ways. I mean, I certainly hope that the person who tried to end democracy doesn't win a second term. Even if he loses, though, I think we all know that he's not going to concede. He tried to overthrow the results of a free and fair election once. I assume he'll do it again. I know Sebastiana's thoughts on this, but I think we need to be prepared for the worst.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I can't think of a good reason why there wouldn't be violence if Trump loses. He hasn't. I mean, he's all in now right, Like, if he doesn't get re elected, he's wide open to criminal prosecution. He's the only thing protecting him, and it shouldn't even protect him, but it seems to be for the moment, so he's got nothing to lose.
A lot of these far right extremists don't trust the government, they don't trust the media. They are untrusting of our intelligence agencies. Is there do you see any kind of hope full time in our future where we're all dealing with the same facts.
I think a glimmer of hope, please.
I think it starts with conversations like this, It starts with films like Against All Enemies. But at the end of the day, it's going to come down to one on one conversations. It's going to come down to a family member who cares about a veteran who is at that crossroads between doing something noble like joining Team Rubicon and helping disaster relief victims across the country, or joining
the Proud Boys and Oathkeepers and undermining democracy. That decision often comes down to a conversation with someone who cares about that veteran.
Well, thank you so much for being on.
Thank you for making this incredible film and starting this conversation Against All Enemies is in select theaters and available on vod Ken Harbaugh and Sebastian Junger.
Right back.
For those of us who are lucky enough to be in the path of the eclipse, let's talk about what you should and should not do. And we do have a visual reference as to what you should not do.
I know you have some people there. You should not do this.
Apparently you should not look up at the eclipse.
Don't do that.
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