Trump Renames Persian Gulf, Teases a “Big Announcement” & Loses Another Fighter Jet | John Green

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I'm dylighted. We've got so much to talk about Tonight. The military tries to teach another jet to swim, the Vatican turns into the world's holiest man cave, and Trump is keeping a huge secret. So everybody check your signal chats. Let's get right into it.

I'm gonna.

It's been a rough few weeks for Donald Trump, mostly because Donald Trump. So he's been looking for a way to change the narrative. And yesterday he made a big announcement.

We're gonna have a very very big announcement to make like as big as it gets, and I won't tell you on what.

So the announcement is that he's got an announcement. Cool. It's great to have a president who does teaser trailers for world events, like when FDR said, we only have one thing to fear and I'll tell you what it is after the break. But okay, Donald, can you at least give us a hint.

It'll be one of the most important announcements that have been made in many years about a certain.

Subject, a certain subject that narrows it down to literally anything. This is Donald Trump, so his big announcement could be anything from I've achieved peace in the Middle East. I just tried bucatini, and I'm never going back to regular spaghetti. At least tell us if it's good or bad. Should I be stalking up on champagne or toilet paper?

It's very positive.

Also, I tell you if it was negative or positive. I can't keep data.

It is really really positive.

Okay, that sounds really positive, But I want to temper my expectations here because the last time you had a positive announcement to make, it was that you were destroying the economy. So I just want to make sure is it really good news.

It's going to be.

A truly earth shattering and positive development for this country and for the people of this country.

Earth shattering.

Wow.

Okay, as long as I don't have to clean it up, I guess I'm in. Just tell me when exactly to tune in, and I will clear my schedule.

And that announcement will be made either Thursday or Friday or Monday before we leave.

All right. You have no idea what you're announcing, do you You're just gonna go into the next room and be like, guys, I promise them something big. Does anyone have anything good? I have two to five days and don't say jell o shots pete next time. Just come out when you're ready to say the announcement. We don't need a pre announcement. This is worse than my cousin announcing that they're trying for the third child. Great, so you're telling me that you're fucking a lot. Call me

Where do you see the plans we have coming out literally over the next four weeks.

We have great healthcare plans coming out. The plan is coming out over the next four weeks.

We'll be announcing that in about two months.

And that two months was up sixty nine months ago.

Very nice.

But while we're waiting for Trump's earth shattering, mind blowing, orgasm inducing announcement, there's already a much stupider announcement in the works.

We know we have the Golf of America formerly the Golf of Mexico, and next week President Trump plans to announce the US will refer to the Persian Golf as the Golf of Arabia or the Arabian Golf.

What is it with this guy and renaming golfs. At least the Gulf of Mexico is on our border, but now we're just going around renaming other countries water. The Gulf of Thailand is now the Gulf of White Lotus, the Indian Ocean is now the Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas Ocean, and the Black Sea We're just getting rid of no more dei.

He was.

You know, why shouldn't we be allowed to rename the world's oceans? After all, we have the world's most competent, powerful, competent navy, full of competence, operating right now at the top of their competence.

For the second time in just over a week, US fighter jet falling off an aircraft carrier and sinking in the Red Sea, The sixty seven million dollar F eighteen Super Hornet crashed into the Red Sea last night and was lost. The pilots managed to eject safely just over a week ago, another super Hornet fell from the same ship.

Not to get all doze over here, but I think we could save some money if we stopped dropping fighter jets into the red scene. At some point, we're giving more military aid to puffer fish than we already. You print, the landscape should just be following behind our aircraft carriers with a net. And I know this is all a

Another sunk jet.

Damn it, top Gun, Maverick, Why do you keep trying to see if planes can fly underwater?

It's born of life's mystery, sir, No, it's not. Jets don't belong in the ocean.

I would fire you, but you're white, so Pete haig Seth won't let them.

So I'm just gonna bear.

Please stop sinking jets, maybe, sir, but not today, not today.

That sounds like you're gonna crash another jet into the ocean.

Don't you eave it the.

Top, Gord.

He truly feels the need for speed. And finally, an update on tariffs. They're the reason your Magot family stopped talking about the economy. Just mine, just my family. Ever since they kicked in, Trump has been telling Americans that they're going to have to tighten their belts a little. And there's one example in particular that he keeps fixating on.

Maybe the children will have two dollars instead of thirty dollars. You know, I don't think a beautiful baby girl needs at eleven years old, needs to have thirty dollars.

I think they can have three.

Dollars or four dollars. Fifteen year ago doesn't need thirty seven dollars.

You don't need to have this.

I said, thirty five dollars. You can have two, three, four. You can be very happy with two or three or four or five.

What what do I feel like?

Last week Trump walked in on Eric kissing a doll and now he's like, sorry, America, we're banning dolls banning either way, it turns out that the whole expensive doll example was not hypothetical.

Mattel, the company that makes Barbie dolls, is raising prices to offset President Trump's tariffs on Chinese imports.

Yes, they're raising prices on Barbie. Even she has to cut back. She had to move out of Barbie's dream house and into Barbie's dream studio apartment with two roommates. Her pink convertible is now a two thousand and seven toyota to yourself, it's.

Been very sad.

Come on, don't make Barbie tightener belt even more. She only has a one inch waist. And Trump's not the only one answering doll based questions. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessont, seen here watching a bulldozer demolish a local community center, also had some thoughts. Secretary Bessett, what would you say to a sweet little girl who wonders why she can't have a new Barbie this year?

I would tell that young girl that you will have a better life than your parents, That you and your family, thanks to President Trump, can now be confident again that you will have a better life than your parents. You will be able to the advance. You will have a good education, you will have economic freedom.

Yes. If there's one thing children love, it's the concept of economic freedom. It's very clear that you were never a little girl. They would never be on board with this. I don't want that stuff. I want barbies. You can't make economic freedom, sisor each other.

The points.

Also, kids today are going to have a better life than their parents. Honey, I had twenty five barbies, plus the dream house. We knew how to live in this country back when I was a kid during the Obama years. Don't google it. I knew Bessett was a shitty Treasury secretary, but I think there's one job he'd be even worse at.

You and your family. Thanks to President Trump, can now be confident again that you will have a better life than your parents.

But don't worry too much. If you really can only buy one doll, there's a new one that's just right for twenty twenty five.

Ten year old girl, nine year old girl, fifteen year old girl.

Doesn't need thirty seven.

Dollars, Hey, ten or nine or fifteen year old girls. When you can only have one doll, there's only one doll to have. Tariff Tilly the perfect companion to help you write out our magical trade war.

I love being a long with you.

Tariff Tilly is the ideal replacement for those thirty seven dollars you want but do not need.

China's keating her what chap terror jirope Howe is a loserwer rates.

Now you'll love playing with Tariff Tilly during off work hours.

It's by the yen for your shift dinner on short Lestian Factory.

And don't forget to grab Tariff Tilly's hot as a new accessory.

Thing that you carried the babies around it.

That's right, Tariff Tilly's thing. You carried the babies around it. Now just seven thousand dollars and now you can feed Tariff Tilly with real American made baby formula.

Uh oh, looks like you got a tainted bad health Inspector's contort.

Stimpard Tariff Tilly to your playroom today, Available Christmas twenty twenty nine.

Black have the joke on the post, so don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show.

When a news story falls through the cracks, Lewis Black catches it for a segment we called back in Black.

It's been three weeks since Pope Francis went to that great Sunday Mass in the sky, and we're all still thinking why Pope Francis got Why not every other world later? But now the Vatican has to elect a new pope, and you know what that means. Conclave.

The conclave is now underway.

One hundred and thirty three cardinals filing into the Sistine Chapel where.

They will vote on the next Pope.

The candidate must win two thirds majority, which could take multiple votes twice a day. Ballots will be burned and smoke released from the Vatican's chimney, black meaning no winner, white signals a new pope.

And red smoke means an altar boy fell in the incinerator. Oopsie should have kept his mouth shut. Why of all these endless rounds of voting, just keep it simple. Let a gorilla loosen the Vatican, and whoever survives is the winner. And if it's the gorilla, so be it all. Hell pump Coco. Now, I'd love to tell you more about the conclave, but it's a lot like masturbating. You don't talk about it.

One hundred Vatican staff and clergy took a solemn oath today, swearing that what happens inside the secret Conclave stays secret forever.

Cardinals walked away inside the Cystine Chapel with no electronics, no.

Phones, no computers, no televisions, completely isolated from the outside world.

I believe the kids call it raw dogging.

It if you're going to go through a long period of time with no electronic device.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure when Cardinals involved, the kids call it something other than raw dogging. Plus their phones. How these guys follow the Getty trial. They're huge fans of his work.

Oh stop.

You might be wondering why all.

This secrecy is needed. Here's the secret, because it's boring one hundred old guys sitting around talking about which old guy will lead all the other old guys kill me now. But with all the secrecy, many people don't know what to expect at a conclave. Don't worry, though, the Cardinals don't either.

Viewers have been streaming Conclave the film in record numbers since Francis's death.

Rancis appointed so many cardinals who therefore have never sat through a conclave themselves.

Many of them have been watching the movie to get tips on how the process works.

That's funny.

Ha ha, pisit incompetency hilarious? Turns out the only qualification you need to vote for the most powerful religious leader in the world as a peacock account. Look, if you need to watch a movie to learn about a job you already have, you shouldn't have that job in the first place.

If I hire a prostitute.

I'm not gonna wait two hours while she watches Anora. But it's but it's not just incompetent cardinals traveling to Rome for the conclave. It's also incompetent tourists.

Rome locals know the death of the Pope guarantees new life for tourism. There's the souvenirs, calendars and keyrings, fridge magnets and mugs, and even gelato in Francisca's flavor.

Wow, his own ice cream. That's the kind of honor they only give to Mickey Mouse.

Let's hope I.

Don't spill any of it on my The Pope died and all I got was this lousy T shirt. But if you don't want a shitty pope Keychain, don't worry, because there are other ways to flush your money down his holy toilet.

Global betting sites now taking in a collective nineteen million dollars from the thousands of people gambling on the future of the church. The Vatican Secretary of State is the two to one favorite, with Carnel Luis Taglay of the Philippines three to one.

Taglay would make history if he were elected as the first Asian Pope.

Let me get this straight.

You want me to bet money on the first Asian pope and you won't even let me parlay it with the knicks.

That's disgusting. Shame on you.

I know I'm picking the knicks, but tell me more about this Lewis Taglay guy.

There's a karaoke king in the conclave Philippines, Cardinal Lewis Toglay. I.

I don't know if this guy will be the first Pope from Asia, but he makes my ears beg for youth in Asia. This is what my career has come to assisted suicide puns.

But here's a question.

Why is the front runner for pope singing a song about imagining there's no religion? I mean, without religion, you're just a guy going to.

Work in a nightgown.

Look, if this conclave wants to make history. There's another group they've been overlooking a Jewish pope.

Huh.

I've already got my pope, Yamica. Oh all I gotta do now is glue my foreskin back on and I'll fit right in.

Luckily, I keep it in my wallet.

Jessie lock Black.

Everyone welcome next week, John I guess.

I Award winning author and local healthcare ref advocates. Lingen's coking is called Everything Blueberculos Lea's welcome.

John Green, Hi, Hie, thank you so much for being here.

What a joy, What a joy, What a joy it is to be here with you with all this insane news happening in the world.

Yeah. Fun, fun day for you, so much fun.

Every day is a fun days here at the Daily Show.

Yeah yea.

But you were the bright light.

Oh you're very kind.

You have had massive success with your young adult novels of Walton, Our Stars Looking for Alaska. You and your brother have had h were kind of early pioneers, so to speak, in the with your YouTube channel billions of views, and now you have this number one New York Times bestseller, Everything Is Tuberculosis. You're like a modern day renaissance man. It's very kind who's also trying to eradicate a deadly disease.

Yeah, I'm super opposed to tuberculosis. It's true.

I'm a little confused why everyone else isn't. It feels like a should be kind of a universally held opinion. But yeah, I was traveling sier Leone in twenty nineteen. I didn't even know that tuberculosis was still a thing, to be honest with me, when I was in Sierre Leone in twenty nineteen and I was asked to go to a TV hospital there, And when I was there, I met a kid named Henry, which is also my son's name.

And through knowing Henry and.

Following his story trying to recover from drug resistant tuberculosis over the next five years, I really I wouldn't say I fell in love with the disease. I guess I fell in hate with it, you know, yes, And so that's where this book came from, was from wanting to tell Henry's story of this ultimate story of survival, and also wanting to tell the story of the fact that this disease is not history, it's present.

Right, and part of what I loved so much about your book, it was fascinating, But it doesn't just go through the history of tuberculosis and the gravity of the disease itself, but you tell all of these personal stories along the way, like Henry and many others. When most Americans, like you said, think about tuberculosis, they think of it as a thing of the past. But just in twenty twenty three, over a million people died globally from tuberculosis.

That's right.

It's the deadly stone axious disease in the world. And unfortunately, as a direct result of decisions made by our government, that number is going to go up instead of going down. It's been going down for the last twenty years, which is something we can be really proud of.

The US has long been.

The most generous funder of TV response, but that's changing with the dismantling of USAID and as a direct result, I think the estimates are that within two years we might see two million people dying instead of over a million.

You say in your book, we know how to live in a world without tuberculosis, but we choose not to live in that world. Yeah, and that the problem is us.

Yeah.

Ultimately, we've known how to cure this disease since the nineteen fifties, and so the problem can't be a bacterium called M. Tuberculosis, right, Like I mean, the bacteria is hard to kill. It's a tough disease to treat. But my brother had cancer a couple of years ago, and that's also a hard disease to treat, and nobody at any point said to my brother, I'm sorry, but it just doesn't make sense. It's not cost effective to treat your cancer. They treated his cancer, they cured his cancer.

You mentioned all the doge cuts. You wrote this book before all of that happened.

Yeah, I wish I could run an extra chapter now, well you can, I will, I will for the paper.

Yeah, you might have a sequel on your hands with apparently measles are back now too. Are you concerned that tuberculosis has found out that measles is having a moment and it's come in and want to teach us all which disease is boss?

Yeah, yeah, I mean measles is an interesting case because of course it's completely vaccine preventable, right, Tuberculosis hasn't had a new vaccine in over one hundred years, So like, at least when people get tuberculosis, you know, you can say, like, well, this isn't a direct result of misinformation, but in the case of measles, it really is.

So I am a good worried that measles. I mean, it's a bum that measles is making a comeback, does he Yes, it is definitely. It's definitely upsetting.

Yeah, but you know, tuberculosis, measles has a long way to go before it captures Tuberculosis's spot is the.

World's deadliest infection. Okay, Okay, so don't worry yet.

All right, Well we'll worried for other reasons.

Yeah.

You.

Part of what was so interesting about your book is you also go through all of the history and how the disease impacted everything culturally, poetry, literature, The Cowboy.

Hat, the cowboy hat. Yeah, there was a guy named John B.

Stenson who was living as a hat maker in New Jersey who got TV and was told by his doctor the only way to survive is to go west, which lots of people heard. He went west, and as he recovered from his tuberculosis for reasons we don't understand, some people just recover, and he was one of the lucky few. He also noticed that the hats out west kind of sucked right, like they had the coonskin cat. There was

That's how we got our hound.

We're at Everything is tuberculosis.

It seemed that way.

You say everything is tuberculosis. Can you connect tuberculosis to why fighter jets are falling into the water?

Can I give me a second?

Okay?

Yes, so that that if I'm not mistaken, I heard you say I believe that that aircraft carrier is the Harry Truman.

Sure does that sound right? Anybody?

We'll go with it.

We'll go with it.

I think Harry.

Truman, this was in a different age in American history. Harry Truman sent a budget ask to the federal government for two hundred thousand dollars to fund the development of the most critical or one of the most critical TV drugs, IONIZI it. So if it weren't for Harry Truman sending federal money, federal government taxpayer mone to fund the treatment of tuberculosis, we wouldn't have that amazing drug.

Hot Dan, everything is.

Okay.

Can you connect to tuberculosis to why my algorithm keeps feeding me weighted best?

Absolutely, not even a challenge. It's trying to shrink your body. It's trying to make you smaller. And that is a result partly of this tubercular beauty standard when we romanticize tuberculosis.

I know, when we were romanticized tuberculosis.

In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, we began to associate beauty with very frail, small bodies, and so attempts to shrink the female body, or at least in part a response to this tuberculosis beauty standard that goes back to the nineteenth century.

Yeah, well, I'll give you that. I will give you that.

Oh my god.

All right, So how do we go about curing this disease of injustice? What needs to happen in a perfect world? What are the steps that need to be implemented.

Yeah, so we know how to live in a world without TV.

You search for cases, you treat every case you find, and you offer preventive therapy to folks who are near those cases. And that's how we eliminated TV in the US, or nearly eliminated it. That's how we've nearly eliminated TV in many countries around the world.

But that takes funding.

And right now, if you think of the history of tuberculosis as a long staircase where we learn more and learn better tools, have better tools to fight the disease. Right now we have the tools, we just don't have the political will. And so right now, unfortunately we've fallen down the staircase. But it's easy to feel like this is the end of history. Like I mean, I feel that way all the time, to be honest with you,

I still think that it's possible.

From your lips to God's ears, thank you. Thank you for making the world suck a little bit less. Thank you for educating and engaging your viewers, and for all of the work that you do. Thank you for being here.

Thank you.

Everything is Coberculosis is available now.

John Green, We're going to take a quickly.

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