You're listening to Comedy Centralow.
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only sorts for news. This is the Daily Show with your host, Jazylon.
Show.
I'm Bettiliek.
We've got so much to talk about Tonight, America imports a beef with China. People are getting frisky with statues and Fox News he's the stock market and goes, hey, look over there. So let's kick things off with another installment of trade Wars.
My favorite word, my favorite word, caraffs.
It's been one week since Donald Trump announced his bold vision for destroying the economy, and guess what his plan is working.
After another chaotic day on Wall Street, America's CEOs are sounding the alarm.
Most CEOs I talked tole'd say, we are probably in a recession right now.
A new CNBC survey showing those concerns are widespread, with sixty nine percent of CEOs expecting a recession and eighty two percent expecting resurgent inflation.
This is a snapshot of the Dow since President Trump's inauguration, After dropping more than fifteen percent since it's record high, putting it into correction.
Territory I'm not.
An economist, but it's probably a bad sign when the chart itself looks like it jumped off the roof. Look at that drop. Six flags is going to make a rollercoaster of that, Mom, I want to ride the Dow Jones.
We can't afford it.
So the economy is incredibly unstable right now. The only upside is that this crash is much easier to understand than the two thousand and eight one. Remember the Big short where they had to have Margot Robbie explain it in a bathtub.
Here's how that would go today.
Trump did it.
Thanks Margo, thank you.
So the resident may have single handedly tipped us into a global recession, and with so much uncertainty, the world is glued to the financial news networks, who are surely focusing on this story.
Twenty four to seven, right Fox Business, the.
President welcomes the World Series champions, the Los Angeles Dodgers of the White House.
He was funny, he was entertaining.
Yes, that's definitely the big story. The President made new friends today. So yes, economists are afraid that we're headed into a recession, but don't worry. Things could still improve quickly as long as Trump de escalates.
Soon, President Trump escalates to trade war with more threats against China.
President Trump is now promising a new fifty percent tariff on China on top of the other new tariffs, which are on top of existing tariffs. Combine, this would make US tariffs on imports from China a whopping one hundred and four percent.
One hundred and four percent tariffs. Okay, this is getting really serious.
We'll know exactly how serious once we asked China to do the math for us.
But point is, Trump is out of control right now.
I'd say he's like a bull in a China shop, but at one hundred and four percent, I can't afford to say that. It's really starting to feel like the entire world is teetering on the brink of chaos. It's honestly impossible to report on literally anything else right now.
Right Fox News a.
Woman's pool championship in the UK with no women in the final round after two transgender players defeated their female opponents to face off for the title.
No, not the British which women's pool tournament that's.
America's favorite pastime.
But the tariffs aren't just tearing apart our economy and tearing apart America's trade with China. They're also tearing apart Donald Trump's friends.
An internal battle over Trump's terriffs between top advisor Peter Navarro and Elon Musk.
This is a behind the scenes rivalry that's now exploding into public view between Elon Musk and Peter Navarro, two very different wings of the Trump administration.
Ooh, I have to pick between Elon Musk and Peter Navarro. This is like the trolley problem, if the problem was that you only have one trolley.
You know what?
This is actually a substantive debate. Elon likes free trade, Peter Navarro likes the terriffs. Let's start with Navarro's argument.
Elon's a car manufacturer. But he's not a car manufacturer. He's a car assembler. If you go to his Texas plan, A good part of the engines that he gets, which in the EV case is the batteries come from Japan and come from China, the electronics come from Taiwan. And he wants to achieve foreign parts and we understand it, but we want him home.
Okay. That's a compelling point.
Peter Navarro thinks Musk is taking advantage of unfair trade policies at the risk of American prosperity.
Elon, what's your response?
Must calling him a moron and dumber than a sack of bricks.
And there's the latest calling him Peter Retardo powerful counterpoint, powerful god.
I hope Elon Musk never has to defend himself in court, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
Good.
I rest my case.
Getting this glimpse into Trump's team of dumb dumb rivals is even more disturbing. The president is sending the economy off a cliff. Business leaders are fury's fury with him. His team is tearing each other apart, and the two biggest economies on the planet are entering a trade war. It might be time for the news organizations that supported him to come to terms with why they supported him in the first place.
What do you say, Newsmax, This is a remarkable moment that has come to light all over again. Back in nineteen ninety two, Donald Trump through a football through a whole designed for one football?
Is that amazing? Or what put me down for? Or what for?
More on the trade war between US and China, We go to the Chinese Embassy with our senior financial correspondent, Michael Costa.
What's your analysis, Well, it's not good.
You know, a trade war with China would be devastating for the United States. Almost everything we buy is made in China. Clothing, electronics, dildos from my grandfather's dildo factory, kitchen appliances. We can't just stop all the bit bait.
Wait wait, wait, I'm sorry. Your grandfather's dildo factory.
Yeah, okay, haha, But dildos don't grow on trees, DESI. Someone's gotta make them. And that's someone is my grandfather, who has a dildo factory in the Chinese province of Guangdong.
Your grandfather's dildo factory is in.
Guangdong, Yes, yes, because it has the most favorable tax incentives. Look, there's nothing funny about Giuseppe Costa's dick down Dildo Emporium. Okay, it's a classic American success story. Grandpa Costa left Europe with nothing but a suitcase and a plaster cast. He started selling dildos out of a car in the Lower East Side. My Grammar herself worked in the dildo testing department, well until she got carpol tunnel.
With such a proud history, why wouldn't your grandfather keep making his dildos in America?
Yeah?
See, that's part of the problem here.
America just doesn't have the manufacturing base to replace the size of Chinese production. Maybe if they started with some smaller factories and gradually stretched the infrastructure, they could work their way up to receiving my grandpappy's dildos.
But I would think with time his company could work its way fully inside America.
Well maybe, but building a factory, it takes a while to get it up, you know, especially at my grandfather's age. Plus, Trump is constantly threatening to change the tariffs. It's so unpredictable it makes it difficult to relocate. Grandpa can't just keep putting his dildo factories in in and out, and in and out and in and out of other countries. He's not a machine.
Wait, sorry, factories. Your grandpa has more than one dildo factory.
Yeah, this is a serious business, daisy. He doesn't just make dildos. They also make pocket pussies, butt plugs, and three hole punches.
Three hole punches, so it's not just sex stuff.
No, the three hole punches are also for sex.
Stuff.
Oh ouch, Michael Costa, everybody.
Think him back.
Ronnie Change will defend the honor.
Of some satu to go.
Go, Welcome to the show.
When it comes to the news, some stor orries are serious, some stories are inspiring, and some stories are just stupid.
And for those we turn to Ronnie.
Chang and a segment we call Everything is Stupid.
Statues They're not just fancy toilets for pigeons. They're the highest form of art, an expressional beauty that people come from around the world to marvel at. But some idiots are trying to model their way to second base.
A popular tourist attraction may soon get it overall because tourists won't stop getting handsy.
The famous Dublin statue of a mythical fishmonger, Molly Malone.
Malone's low cut dress is attracting people's groping hands.
People are rubbing the statues so that the protective covering has been rubbed away already from the bronze over a couple of years. So we would have to repotinate this regularly, which is a cost.
That's right, Horny morons have drop this statue so hot that the bronze finished wall off. Isn't the phrase kiss me, I'm irish, not motible, My cast's iron cleavage, I'm irish. How about you just let a fish monga manga have fish in peace without you morons trying to touch a heaving mahi mahis. It's almost, oh.
It gets worse.
It's almost like these people don't know they aren't real boobs. Okay, it's not like a hot boiled egg where you crack open the shell and reveal real boobs inside. But surely people must be doing this for a good and not stupid reason.
The practice of robbing Molly Malone's breast is believed to have gone around twenty twelve, instigated by an imaginative tour guide.
They great Molly in the hope it will bring them luck. If it's like a I would touch it.
If it's lucky, I touch it. If it's a whole, I feed it.
Ha ha.
Can someone in Ireland please tell this guy that skydiving without a parachute is also lucky. Please, And if you want to fonder a sculpture, that's your business, but don't act like you're doing it for good luck. Okay you're in Ireland. If you need luck, go find a four leaf clover, or eat a leprechaun, or make a key chain with Colin Farrell's eyebrow. Luckily for Molly, they figured out a way to protect her from these goofy dipshits.
The practice of people setting more than their eyes on the famous fishmonger has prompted the city council to hire stewarts to patrol her plinth.
They hope this will.
Be the end of the marling of sweet Molly Malone.
Of course, hire some cops. It's a great idea. I mean, sorry, we can't do anything about your stolen car or busy fending off statue squeezers. I hope they at least give these guys guns, because I want someone's last words to be, Hey, everyone, check out me holding this boob. Oh wait, don't shot, don't shot. But really, the only way to protect Molly Malone is to move her to my apartment. And no, it's not what you think. I will raise her like
my own daughter, day and night. I will watch over her, fending off suitors, killing those who wish her harm, and knowing that her safety is the only thing that adds purpose to my life. Until one day, a nice Irish lad shows up and begs for her hand, at which point I will then lower my rifle and walk her down the all and say goodbye to my little girl forever. Anyway, it turns out that statue groping isn't just happening in Ireland. It's spreading across the globe, like horny Covid.
Unlucky in love.
Well, there's a tradition in Verona, Italy that promises to fix that.
All you have to do is.
Rub the right breast of the bronze statue of Shakespeare's Juliet.
The problem is, tens of thousands of people have been lining up to solve.
Their love dilemmas.
Yes, I remember that scene in Shakespeare so well, Romeo, oh Romeo, rub my right tit, oh Romeo.
So just so I'm clear on.
This, thousands of people are looking for love by standing in line to touch a statue. How about you just turn around and say, hey, well, both lonely, let's get out of this line and touch each other. And no, it's not just women's statues getting action. The male statues are also getting rubbed raw.
Thousands of women a year flocked to Paris to visit this man's grave.
It's said that women who put a flower in his hat and kiss him on his lips would mind a husband within a year.
Many also believe the statue can encourage fertility, which encourages other acts which can be seen by the shine in other places.
Hey, buddy, how about you say some of the over the pant's hand jobs or rest of us. I mean, there's people are dry humping a dead guy who's just trying to rest in peace when they could be going to town on this Dwyane Wade's statue. I mean, look, he's practically begging for it. If there's a silver lining to these sexy statues, it's that they're forcing dumb people to learn something. I mean, maybe Americans would be more
interested in history if we slapped some boobs on Mount Rushmore. Hey, dad, you know George Washington had wooden teeth and pepperoni nipples. Thanks thanks statues.
Ronnie Chang.
Mallory McMorrow will be joining them the show, So.
Go go in.
Welcome much get to.
The majority of the Michigan State tennant and the author of the book Kate Won't Win. Please welcome Mallory McMorrow. Thank you so much for being here. What an exciting time to have you. There's so much going on.
There's a few things, just a few things.
So you were inspired to run in the wake of the twenty sixteen election. You literally sat down at your computer and googled how to run for office? That's right, what compelled you to want to jump into the world of politics.
So, I don't know if you know what happened to twenty sixteen.
Refresh my memory. It didn't go great.
Right, we had an election in Michigan and there was a video that went viral the day after the election of middle school students chanting build that wall at a fifth grader And that happened at Royal Oak Middle School, which was my polling place the day before. And something about the fact that it was kids and kids who learned that this was okay. It broke me. So I did what any normal person does, googled how to run for office?
Very inspiring.
I too googled how to run, but I just stopped right there. Turns out you just put one foot in front of the other. It's easier than I assumed. So your book is titled hate Won't Win. I'm just curious considering the last election results, are you planning a follow up book called Okay that's two out of three?
Yeah, I think it's safe to say that hate is having a moment. But the title to me is a call to action. It is a choice that each and every single one of us have an opportunity to make every day about when Elon Musk goes out there and does what is surely a Nazi salute and we all know it. Instead of getting angry and spiraling and going online and looking up think pieces about whether or not his hand was raised to just the right angle or not, what can.
We should not do that You should be okay, I should not do, don't do, don't spiral, you said, yeah, okay, don scrolling, dun scrolled.
Okay, But when those things happen, and there are a lot of things that happened, the plan of the Trump administration is to do so many disgusting and horrible things every single day that we shut down and feel powerless. And what if instead we put our phones down and we did one thing. Maybe we reached out to one neighbor, Maybe we found out where there's a democratic club that meets in my town and actually showed up and took a step. Just like running, every single day we take
another step and then another step. And long term, if we all do that, hate's not going to win.
This title.
Hey who when came from a really powerful moment from his each that you made on the floor of your state Senate in Michigan.
That went viral?
Oh yeah, millions and millions of views, and it all came out of you being targeted by a political rival. Talk about that moment where you not only found your voice but realized the power that it had.
So I woke up one morning on a regular day and there was a screenshot of an email on Twitter, and it was an email that was sent out by one of my Republican colleagues. Mind you, not somebody I was running against, just somebody in a different part of the state that I served with fundraising for herself. And in the email, she accused me by name of wanting to groom and sexualize kindergarteners and wanting eight year olds to believe they're responsible for slavery. And that's a dark day. Yeah,
just not a good work day, certainly. And I visited a high school in my district later that day. I was spiraling all day trying to figure out what to do, and my friends were worried about me. But I went to this high school and kids were completely plugged in. They knew what was going on. This was before the Dobs decision. And there was one young woman who raised her hand and said, what are we going to do
about her reproductive rights? And then there was another student who said, why are there all these bills attacking the LGBTQ community. We don't care. I don't care what my friends look like, how they identify. We're all just friends. And they could not understand. So that night I came
home and I was giving my daughter a bath. She was two at the time, she's four now, and I just remember her looking up at me and she was laughing with these four little teeth that were poking out, and I just started sobbing because she had no idea. She had no idea what was happening to me, and she had no idea that there were kids just a few years older than her who wanted to know why people in their state hated them. So I realized that I feel horrendous, but that I'm not actually the one
under attack. So what if I actually respond. You know, I was raised to believe that bullies just crave attention, let's not give it to them. But clearly that hasn't worked, It hasn't stopped them. They are winning. Hate is having a moment. So I wrote down about myself and my mom and that I was raised in the Catholic Church and what Christianity meant to me. It meant not putting christian in your Twitter bio and using that as a
shield to attack and marginalize already marginalize people. And I was very intentional, you know, thinking about ninety nine percent of people. In the end of that speech, I said, people who are different are not the reason why your health care costs are too high, or why teachers are leaving the profession, and wanted to take my own story back. And that speech immediately went viral. Tens of millions of people saw it. I got a phone call from the
President and I missed it. It went to voicemail. He left me a message and it's deeply embarrassing loop see, I'm sorry, And in it he says, Mallory, this is Joe Biden, the President, as if.
I would not know who it was.
But then I started getting letters from all over the country from people who are Democratic, Republican, religious, not religious, for months telling me their life story and what this meant to them and that it showed them away forward. And I realized, it's not about my title. It's about using my voice and hopefully inspiring others to do the same. Yeah.
I love there's so many nods to your mom in this book and how she brought you up, how she raised you, the values that she instilled in you, and I love the piece of advice that she gave you after that video went viral after that speech, she gave you great advice about what you were. This is great, but what are you going to do next?
That's right, she said. You know, moms love to check your ego. So she called and first she was going to go on Facebook and find out who is this woman and where does she live? So I had to talk her off of that leg Good mom, good number one. So she did not come out to Michigan to seek revenge on her firstborn. But she chimed in towards the end of the week and she said, as a mom,
you always want to protect your daughter. And what I've learned this past week is that not only have I raised somebody who protects themselves, but somebody who stands up for other people. But she said, now, this is great, but it's not going to mean anything if millions of people watch your speech and they don't do the same
thing that you did. And that has really galvanized how I move forward, why I wrote this book, why I launched my campaign for US Senate in the past week, to bring more people into this so that we can all write our own future together and not let hateful people decide it for us.
Right as you said, you just announced that you're running for US Senate. What the Democratic Party is struggling a bit right now, don't have a whole lot of power, although I will say watching Senator Booker hold his p for twenty four hours was more inspiring than I ever anticipated.
Truly the moment we needed.
But if you were in the US Senate right now, what would you be doing? What would you like to see different?
So, first of all, we're in a really unique moment where we have to start acknowledging there is going to be a future after Donald Trump. There is, So this is the moment for for us to start visualizing what that looks like there are a lot of people, and I think we have to acknowledge that Donald Trump tapped into a lot of people's rightful anger at a system that has not worked for them for a long time.
There are people in a state like mine in Michigan who the idea of make America great again was really compelling because they think about a time when you could afford to buy a house, and a time when you could save for your kids college or you could go on a vacation. And that is not true for way too many people. So we have to accept it's going
to get a lot worse before it gets better. But if I were to be elected to the Senate, it would be on a very positive vision of the new American dream, one that centers on three things, success, safety, and sanity. That it is not enough just to get by. That sounds nice, That it is not enough just to get by. Democratic messaging now sounds too much like I hear this refrain all the time. Democrats are fighting for you to put food on the table. Well, that's true,
but that's the bare minimum. People want to believe in something more, and I think they look at somebody like Donald Trump or Elon Musk, and they say, maybe I don't like the way they talk, and maybe I don't like the way they act, but they're successful and I want to be successful too. So we have to lay out that vision for people so that they can see themselves in that future and actually want to be a
part of what the Democratic Party is selling. It is not enough just to be anti Donald Trump, because in a few years there will be no more Donald Trump, certainly not as president, and we need to tell people this is your future and we need you to be a part of it right now.
Yeah, So many Democrats are in the position of having to react all the time and say this is what we're going to stop, this is what we're going to end, and there seems to be a lack of vision, a lack of clarity for an actual plan moving forward.
So it's good to hear.
It's nice to hear that you are proposing, that you're thinking about these things, because I think that is what the Democratic Party needs. The whole back half of your book is essentially how to guide for people who might want to not just run for office, but get more involved politically or in their communities. If you could give people at home one piece of advice for how to get more engaged.
What would it be?
So if you're looking for a great way to get engaged, you can find out more at Mgmara from Michigan dot com and sign up to join our campaign. But if you don't want to do that, I would encourage every single person who feels like there's just a fire hose right now and that they're overwhelmed. I talk to people in Michigan who say, I am trying to respond on all of these horrible things and I'm already burned out. Really sit down with yourself and understand the one thing
that really moves you. I think a lot about a woman, Jane, who's a constituent of mine. She's a domestic violence survivor, and she has made it her life's mission to protect other women who have gone through what she's gone through, from constantly being afraid of their abusers. So she's advocated with me. We've built up a relationship over six years, and we now have an address confidentiality law in Michigan
that protects survivors from being found by their abusers. And every time and every time there's legislation related to domestic violence she reaches out and now she's somebody who because I know that this is her area of expertise, I call her for advice. So what you may not realize is elected officials are all people. We bring our own lived experience, but we don't know what you know. So find the one thing that is going to motivate you
and move you to show up. If you care about gun violence, for example, join a mom's Demand action group and learn how to advocate with your local elected officials and then keep going. And if you trust that everybody else is also going to find their one thing, and it gives you permission not to be on defense all the time, but to go on offense, to really chart your own future and frankly, take a break. When you
need to take a break, put your phone down. Going back to the beginning, put it down, Put phone down it, go for a walk, re engage with friends, Get to know all of your neighbors, everybody who lives within the three block radius of your house, because that is what is going to get us back on track, is community and feeling like we belong and that we look out for each other.
Yes, putting me read any more?
What is something that people do to get involved that you think is a complete waste of time, because frankly, I would like to cross a few things off my list.
If you never ever fill out and online petition again, that would be the best thing you can do. There are a ton of them change dot org action Network, and I get so frustrated when I see people filling out these things constantly. I had a rule in my office in my first year when I was a state senator that there was no wrong way to engage with us. So even if you sent in one of these forms,
we would follow up with you. And we called the guy who had filled out a form, and he picked up the phone and he said, who the hell is this and how did you get my contact information? He didn't remember it. Might you know, it might have been might have been or Michael, I mean he's in Michigan, right, He didn't remember filling it out. And we tally those in our office. But the way that I think about those,
it's really advocacy theater. It's set up to make you feel like you're doing something, and it makes it so easy. It's like smash one button and you can advocate for change. But this really is about relationships. And what those forms do is they allow organizations to collect your personal information and then follow up with you to ask for money. But those individual stories that I hear are actually much more likely to change how I advocate or view something.
So if you ignore those, never fill them out again. But just go home tonight. Everybody here, audience here, find out who represents you at every level, from your state House to your state Senate, your city council person, and just sign up for their official emails and see what they're working on and see how you can get engaged. Show up an event and you'll grow this muscle, just like we do when we learn any.
Skill, excellent advice. It is such a treat to have you here. Thank you.
I think you're one of the most exciting voices in the Democratic Party. So good let's you thank you for being here in congrats on your book.
Thank you. I Hate will Win is available.
Now you have said it, candidate.
Now I'm to tomorrow.
We're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after event. And Pablo de los Angeles the.
Moon in some lador vel mask lea jamado publicam into Peter Rheta.
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount
Plus Paramount Podcasts