Trump Enters War on Showers & Kristi Noem Takes "Photo Shoot" Literally | Bowen Yang

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Your home Daisy Lighting, Welcome.

I'm Betsy Lighting. You've got so much to talk about tonight. Christy nom does border cosplay, the tariffs might make you rich, and Trump declares war on water. So let's get into another installment of Trump two point zero coming for the White House.

I'm gonna comedy.

I'm sorry, I don't know why we keep playing that. Not going to show that clip anymore. Okay, let's get into the big story today. Donald Trump had a rough week. His beautiful economy crash because some dumb dumb came and tariffed every country on the planet. He tried to save it yesterday, but the markets are still crashing today because again some absolute moron keeps ramping up the trade war against China. But in moments like this, there's one thing

Thank you for your leadership, and thank you for everything you're doing.

Your leadership at the border absolutely remarkable. I want to figure as well for the ship building. I want to thank you for standing up to the Chinese Communist Party and what.

You're doing now, I think is a great service to our country, but ultimately to the world.

You are overwhelmingly elected by the biggest majority the US.

Americans want you to be president or vision is a turning point and an inflection point in American history. Ooh wow, what do you even say to that.

I'm gonna come.

No, stop it, stop it not that, but let's be fair. Serving in Trump's cabinet isn't just photo ops at the White House. They also do photo ops out in the field, although with Homeland Secretary Christie Nome this was less like a photo op and more like a photo whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Watch where you point that thing.

Secretary of Homeland Security Christie Nome is taking heat today for her latest viral video.

Here we are and Todo Brian.

She's posing with two federal agents pointing a gun right at the agent's head.

Wow, give it up for friendly fire, Barbie. Everyone to be fair, this is Christy Nome and these agents were wearing dog tags. You know, I'm starting to wonder if maybe she actually shot her dog by accident while taking a family photo. Fido, Fido, get in here. Oh never mind,

The Biden administration launched what you've called a war on showers.

Ah, yes, yes, the War on showers, the fight Steve Bannon has been on the front lines of his whole life. Now, most people probably didn't even realize we were in a war on showers because no one in the Biden administration ever accidentally added a reporter to the War on Showers group chat. But in all seriousness, I know the war on showers very well. Okay, my uncle actually lost his leg from stepping on a bath bomb. It's never been the same. But luckily that war is now coming to an end.

Certain regulations that basically killed the water pressure of showers and other other water appliances. With this executive order, we're effectively going to be reversing that set of regulations.

In my case, I'd like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair. I have to stand out of the shell. If a fifteen minutes taill it gets wet, it comes out, drip, drip. It's ridiculous.

It takes fifteen minutes for your hair to get wet. Are you sure you're not standing in the pantry. The water pressure is terrible in here, and we're out of cheese. It's but if you're as big of a Trump head as I am, I know that water pressure is not a new issue for him. He's been passionate about this crisis for a while.

Take a shower and water comes dripping out, is cripping out, very quietly, dripping out seeks right, showers, You take a shower, the water doesn't come out. It's the shower, it's the sink, and you know the third element in the bathroom. People have to flush their toilet fifteen times, ten times right, ten times, burn on the shower, ding ding it does drip drip, drip, drip. Please come out the water, Come on, water, come out baby.

Oh, come out, baby, Please come out, come out for daddy. Has he ever said anything more embarrassing?

I'm gonna come.

Stop doing that.

Stop it. The guys, guys, we did it. We found the one issue Donald Trump is see consistent on. It is literally the dumbest issue ever. But we'll take it. But this is still a major announcement, which is why Fox News deployed its most sophisticated journalism technique. Talking to old people at a diner.

Your thoughts about your chance of having water pressure strong again in the shower.

That's just fine with me.

I think you should think you.

I think it all about it.

Blow the skin off of it if you wanted better, right, We don't.

Want to blow the skin off. The epidermis is quite.

Vital, all right, Hold on, kill me, don'tnat like that guy is the weird one. You're the one walking around a diner going tell me what you do in the shower. By the way, why are you talking to the men in here? You got to talk to these ladies. That's a group of ladies excited about a stronger shower head. Am I right? Yeah, they get it. They get it. Still, I'm not sure the majority of Americans want their skin blown off. Anyone else want to chime in about water pressure?

So tell me about what you've pictured.

Now that water pressure will be grading and I'll.

Have to sit there, stand there for two or three minutes for it to water and even get warm.

Yeah, that's a different thing. This is not just an open forum for general shower complaints. The water's too cold, and I don't like how it tastes. It should taste like Hawaiian punch. Is there anyone in this diner Brian Kilmead can have a normal interaction.

With How old are you? Well?

Do you even remember the way it used to be in two thousand and eight before Barack Obama came in?

No kill made, dude. He just told you he was twelve. Do you even know what year it is? Excuse me, little boy? Where were you for the moon landing? A kid was born in twenty twelve? He doesn't remember Obama as president. He's probably like Obama? Is that the guy who puts out the Spotify playlist? For more on these executive orders, Let's go live to the White house with our very own troy e wata Troy and water pressure Really what Trump's going to be.

Focusing on, absolutely, Desi. And it's not just water pressure. A few minutes ago he passed another executive order that says a shower faucet can't do that thing where you turn it and it's cold, cold, cold, but then super hot. There has to be a warm middle, if that makes sense, you know what I mean? Best wishes, DJT, best wishes.

Yeah.

I think halfway through he forgot it was an executive order and not a letter.

This is the.

Stuff that he's passing in the middle of a trade war. What a waste of time?

No hard disagree, Dosi. I like this version of Trump. Let him have his little showers, okay. Also I do love a warm middle.

Okay, But who does this help?

The real question is who does this hurt? And the answer is no, what right? Okay, they're going to do bad things anyway, Desi. But if I'm going to be spending five hours a day stress pooping on the toilet, at least give us an executive order like the one this afternoon that says no more itchy tags on clothes.

It's too to to to itchy.

Have a great summer.

Donald Trump, Okay, I do agree with that tags are itchy, But shouldn't he be focusing on bigger real things.

He's bad at bigger real things.

Ninety five.

Ninety five of these executive orders are about punishing people who are just disagree with him. So I'm fine with side quest Trump. Okay, which would you go up to Hitler and be like, why are you painting? You've got work to do.

Is it too much to ask for a president who's not Hitler?

Yes, apparently it is, So just focus on the winds. Yes, he's putting door the Explorer on a flight to El Salvador. Okay, but he's declared that anyone on the flight who asks for a soda has to get a whole can. Xoxo, Donnie Troy.

I hope you confronted them about that deportation order.

I did.

The soda can was my idea. These are terrible concessions for the American people.

Does If you don't like that one, how about this one? It says toilet paper must be rolled over the top and not from the bottom. Lailah's Donald Trump, Yeah, we can all get behind.

That, right.

Actually, I like toilet paper rolling from the bottom.

Oh okay, thank you, so you're one of them bottom rollers. Okay, Well, enjoy your flight to El Salvador. Hello, Hello, try try you hang up right now, hang up the.

Phone, Troy, you want everyone?

Let me come back.

Michael also will do the business. But I'll go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. If you want honest and rigorous financial news, then go eat a dick. But if you want to get rich, then you want Michael Costa and another installment of Costa doing Business.

What our players, This is the Costa do in Business. And I'm Michael Costa. So let's make some fat stacks of that stinking cash. But first, I know what you're thinking, all right, And just to clarify, I didn't jump off a building because of the market crash, all right. This happened because I couldn't pay my coke dealer after the market crash, and then he threw me off a building. What up, hector? Anyways, all the more reason to get

Me with fears that prices will be going way up. Some Americans have started panic buying.

Consumers going on a tariff induced shopping spree from appliances to alcohol, hourting items like toothpaste and toilet paper.

We were talking about it that we should buy some rice because we get rice that's made in Thailand.

And we said, we don't really need it right now, but we're going to buy it.

Yup, that's right. American consumers are acting like me when I saw my coke dealer. They are panicking now. As a rule of thumb and a financial crisis, you should never panic. Then again, rules of thumb were meant to be broken. And I'm talking repeatedly smashed in a car trunk over and over again. But where there is panic,

Yup.

Look, And if anyone has a contact that Whole Foods sensea Costa's toilet rice is still looking for a distributor. Now, of course, grocery stores aren't the only ones caught up in Uncle dj T's ecotomy lobotomy.

No but I me.

Despite a ninety day pause for other countries, tariffs on China are still sky to the high hit me.

Oh Jesus.

US tariffs on Chinese goods soared to one hundred and four percent on everything from clothing and shoes to toys.

It could soon be much harder to get your hands on Tonka trucks, care Bears, and even the new Nintendo switch to that's out this summer. With companies opting to pawshipments to the US. Swiss watches and X ray tubes for cat scans could also be impacted with the tariff wars.

Oh sorry, kids, these tariffs are affecting all your toys, care bears, Nintendo switches, X ray tubes for cat scans. Now you're never gonna know what's going on inside of your care bear well until puberty. Am I right up top? But sersly, these are just the kind of sacrifices we need to make to get the economy back to where it was ten days ago. So with toys with toys in the red that means I'm buying up children's tears. Okay, these things, These things go for ten thousand dollars an

Hear me, apple wave of panny buying for iPhones as higher prices loomed due to Trump's tariffs.

In iPhone sixteen pro max, already twelve hundred dollars could jump by another three hundred and fifty bucks.

When it comes to Apple, if they were finding as many seven forty sevens as they could to get iPhones out of China.

Planes stuffed with billions of dollars of iPhones to arrive before the tariffs take effect.

That's right, that's right. iPhones are flying here business class, so Apple can make a little business cash. But refugees fleeing Wicka war they're not gonna make it, are they. So that little shiny rectangle in your pocket is now worth a whole lot of wicked Wicka money, which is why I'm bullish on unsupervised coat checks. Okay, these rooms are teeming with tariff three phones. All it takes is a caterwaiter uniform and you'll be harvesting apples like a

This phone has been reported stolen calling police.

Oh yeah, oops, clumsy me right in a cup of coffee. Looks looks like I'm gonna have to dry that out in what a bowl of sensing Costa's toilet rice Yeah Baby, now available in the third stall of the men's bathroom at the eth Ruttherford Whole Foods. Now for those of you that have a working iPhone and your favorite app for watching tradwives make slow churn smoothies, It's about to get a new owner.

Hit me.

The president announced he was extending by seventy five days the deadline for TikTok's owner to find a non Chinese buyer.

There are a number of interested parties who have said they would be willing to acquire the app.

The founder of the adult content site OnlyFans has also submitted.

A bid TikTok. It's money o'clock and I'm betting on OnlyFans.

Hell.

I've been putting money into that site for years, but I can't pull anything out because Mistress Victoria tells me I'm not allowed to. Well, at least I put two of her kids through Northwestern Let's go Wildcats. But no matter who, Bye bye byes TikTok. Do not worry because it will not be banned in the us, and that's a costa arrantee. TikTok is simply too popular. The American people love it, and for some it's the only work

My guest Night is a comedian, writer and actor you know from SNL. He stars in the new movie The Wedding Banquet. Please welcome, bow and Yay.

I don't know about all that.

I don't know.

We got some bye everyone, that's very nice.

Well, wow, I am so happy that you're here. I hope you're ready because I'm going to hammer you with tariff questions. Yeah, we have got to get to the bottom of Trump's trade war. You and me.

I mean one first of all, I miss one O four.

We're at one twenty five now, but we're not to fall like a sex your number right right.

I totally agreed random. Oh my god, I am such a huge fan of yours.

Likewise does it but like, okay, I ran into you. I think it was some it doesn't matter, some awards thing, but like, I'm.

Sure it was very fancy and very elite.

It was very fancy early.

But I've like, whatever I do, I have tunnel vision at those things.

I don't look in the pariff. I'm like, I don't know who I'm gonna like, you know, and get into the crossfire with.

But like you, I turned to you and it felt like there was a star shower behind you.

Dasney like is right there? And guy lover, Oh.

You're so sweet. I travel with a ring light, yeah.

And I haven't and you're backlit.

Yes, I'm always I'm hiring an intern to follow me around. So it makes you think it's a moment. Yes, No, I felt the same way. I was like, I need to corner you and make sure that you come on the show to see us and then I can snag you. Yes, but I'm snagged and you and we did it.

We did it.

I I love all of the characters that you play on SNL. You've played George Santos.

Yes, Oh.

It's very handsome George Santos, jd Vance and my favorite, the Prima Donna iceberg Y. That's my favorite of all time. It feels like you you choose these highly unlikable, unsavory characters and just somehow find the humor and make them engaging.

I really love just this thing in our culture of like people who are in media who like hate it too much, but like they chose to like be in front of the camera, they chose to be on displaying it. They're like, don't look at me, don't look at me. But it's like, you know, you opted into there's some buy in on some level.

The idea that the iceberg is a victim in all of this totally.

That's very and isn't he was just sitting there, I.

Mean, what was he doing. It wasn't really his fault.

And by now he's he's gone, he's melted away with climate change.

What was what was the moment when you were asked to play? Jd Vance? Lauren asked you? And what did you say?

Lauren asked me, And I said, please, please, please, don't make me do this. Why I really find him challenging. First of all, I like God's honest truth. I really do my best with him. But every time I have to play him, I go to Laura and I say, you can do a buy back. You don't have to stick with me. You can please reach out to Zach Alfanakus, Please reach.

Out to Terran killim cool.

But no, he's my that's my charge.

So how did you find your way through him? Was it a challenge?

It was, Oh my gosh, you really are grilling me.

I We'll get to the Terrists.

I love it.

I love it. I no, you know what I worked with. You guys are gonna roll your freeing eyes. I worked with like an accent coach. We had to find the middle between. We had to find the middle between like Appalachian but Ohio, Like we really had to like find the rightness. Yeah, And like I was like, I don't

Okay, it is.

So far beyond that. I love hearing that because your presence on SNL is like, like I can't imagine the pressure cooker it must be, and you always look so calm and cool and relaxed. So thank you for sharing that. You that you work really hard. Yeah, you hire an action.

And I'm not even on Kenemy. It's amazing.

Yes yet, Yes, I want to talk about your podcast, Last Culturistas. Pop culture has been a huge part of your life. You started doing that in twenty sixteen before SNL. How has your perspective changed over the years being someone who observes and is passionate about pop culture to then becoming part of the culture.

Oh my gosh, I really think there is no big difference. We're basically the same show as we were nine years ago, which is dinosaur years in podcasting. Yeah, truly, But I mean it's the same show. We start off, we just riff and then we end with this silly segment. But I think, like, I'm just like y'all going home watching the pit, you know what I mean, And like, I like, we're all watching the same stuff, and I feel like there I get why everyone thinks that like things are

But I feel like that kind of makes our.

Jobs, our jobs as people, as consumers, easier if we're just like, all right, it's Sunday, We're gonna watch Walton Goggins be scary.

Yes, yes, and we all did, except I have not caught up on the finale, so please don't spoil.

Anything for me.

I'm gonna watch tonight. I want to talk about your new movie, The Wedding Banquet. It's so good. You're fantastic in it. This cast is amazing.

Lily Gladstone, Joan Chen, Yes, Monkey Chohan, it's his first English movie ever.

He's amazing in it. Kelly Marie Tran.

It's a great tell us what the story is all about.

So it's a remake of an Anglee film from the nineties. It's about this sham marriage that has to get staged between these two couples who are friends with each other. The lesbian couple needs an IVF treatment. The Korean guy, my boyfriend needs to just stage this wedding so that his parents in Korea, his family in Korea doesn't find out.

He's really wealthy.

He offers to pay for the IVF treatments, and my character kind of gets sidelined and he's like, how do I fet into this? And it's so fun. It's a warm hug of a movie. You'll all love it. I promise it's great.

It's a rom com. You're bringing the mom coms back. Yeah, finally we need more.

It's me, thank you, Yeah, it's it's it's it's me, Glenn Powell and Sidney Sweeney, we're all all the front line.

I'll take I want. That's a movie I'd like to see. You can make that happen with the three of you.

Uh.

The movie, as you said, centers around sham marriage. Have you thought about who you would want your sham wife to be for a green card? Like if you had to totally situation.

Let's see who who needs one? Who wants to come here anymore? You know what a fair point I'm gonna say, would.

She be like a blonde in late night? Or like you could choose any.

One I spoken for I feel like right, but she would absolutely be a blonde as you were.

As I was.

I you know what I would really take any I'm a self proclaimed boob. Gay I love I love a book some bosom. Yeah that so yeah, as long as you're staffed, I'll married.

Yeah, I love that.

I love that.

I would love to play a game with you because this movie is about a wedding. So I was wondering if we could play a game where I mentioned things at a wedding and you tell me do or I don't think?

So?

Honey?

Love it?

Okay, all right, ready, yep, these are things at a wedding. Five day long bachelor or bachelorette party.

I'm gonna be I'm gonna say that's a hard pass. Five is too long, even with like families, even.

With people you love. I totally agree, So I don't think.

So, I don't think so, honey.

Okay, dog is a ring bearer.

Oh I do. I love that.

I love that cute. I agree. Grimsman taking clothes off on the dance floor.

Yeah, who I mean, depends on the groomsman. But sure, yeah.

Yeah, the more the merrier. Performing at your own wedding.

Unless your name is J, unless her name is jd Vance or Ariana grande the no, yes, yeah.

Oh she can she can't, she can't do whatever the hell she wants. Absolutely unprompted speeches.

Oh no.

I feel like the programming for speeches is so intentional and like if if that uncle or cousin has not been designated, and there's a huge reason why.

It's always going to go off, always going to go off unwelcome. I don't think so. Honey, DJ getting on the dance floor with you.

If if you get, if he's taking, if he she they are taking, request, if they if they will let you play you know, a freaking like Tears for Fears song that you love or something, then absolutely, I hope.

I hope our DJ heard that. So he's gonna play Tears for he Fears the next wedning.

You guys go to request. Everybody wants to rule the world. It will bring people together as the answer to all.

Of our problems.

Thank you coming for here, love you, Thank you. The wedding banquet is in theaters nationwide April eighteenth, Bow and Yang, everybody.

Night now here.

It is Here's moment of them an off.

We're gonna go for the Golden Age of America. It's coming now you feel it now. Finally someone is behind the desk in the Oval Office was going to protect America in the world. And it's coming, and it's coming now, and I tell you what it feels great.

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