You're listening to Comedy Central. By now, you've all heard about how school systems across the US are banning critical race theory. And if you're still not sure what critical race theory is, don't worry. Neither other people banning It's now The States of Florida has announced that it's officially begun its purge of all things CRT, but some of
the targets have taken people by surprise. The Florida Department of Education is making ways after rejecting forty one percent of submitted math and text books because of touchy and prohibited subjects. The state says more than fifty of those books include references to critical race theory, among other things like common core, and therefore are prohibited under the new standards CRT teachings. They were banned from Florida's classroom last year.
Orange County Classroom Teachers Association president Wendy Dormal and she's baffled. I can't imagine what is in a math textbook that would indoctrinate a child. I really love to see some of these rejected books and see what they highlighted. Yeah, so would I, because I mean, this makes Florida is banning math textbooks because the States says that they teach critical race theory. And I'll be honest, I don't even
understand how that works. I don't like, I get finding critical race theory in history books or social studies, but math, how how well? Think about it, Trevor, Algebra is just a bunch of numbers that rejected their slave names and now go by X. How yeah, Trevor. Also, numbers can be very triggering for white people. Think about it. Whenever a black man dunks on a white man watch on his shirt. That's right, numbers. And don't get me started on the violence inherent in math. I'll never forget the
day nine scarred me for life. I'll be honest, But I don't know what Florida is trying to do here. But any sane person can't agree this is getting out of control. I mean, it was bad before, but this is getting out of control because now it just feels like the States sees critical race theory everywhere in everything. You know, It was like a like a hypochondria. It's like this milkshake is critical race theory. What yeah, Look, it's trying to tell us that the white part is
keeping the brown man down. Well, maybe the chocolate justination to work harder. Maybe you need to relax, my man. Also think about this. Let's let's let's play with the logic. If they were trying to sneak CRT into the schools, why would they do it with math? Math textbooks would be the worst place to do it, because who remembers anything they learned in math? Huh? Do you remember how to use the high part news? Do you? If I said, nobody leaves the studio, no one until you show me
how high parton newsed works, We're dying here. People. Well, they're gonna find corpses. Nobody remembers math from school. Nobody, even Liam Neeson, his particular set of skills did not include high parton news. He's like, I will find you and I will kill you. They're like, well, first you have to solve a math problem. Uh, it's fine, and I'll find another daughter. You know, I actually wish, I
actually wish there was CRT and math textbooks. I actually do yeah, because then we could have solved racism by now, just by cheating and going to the back of the book with all the answers in it. You know, just be at the back of me, like, what is a black batman? Oh? My god? Why didn't I think of that? All right, but let's move on from that madness in Florida to something that's affecting all of us inflation. Thanks to inflation, practically every company is raising their prices right now.
For instance, here in New York, a lot of dollar pizza places are now charging a dollar. Yeah, no, no, you you you think it's minor, but it's actually a nightmare because now you either have to carry around an extra quarter with you or you gotta give the guy two dollars. And now you're carrying around three quarters all day. What am I supposed to do with that? Huh? Do you see slot machines out of the streets in New York? You're killing me. But everyone's raising prices, everyone, even Amazon.
They just announced that they're charging an extra five percent inflation fee to its merchants, who will presumably pass that extra cost onto the customers, which I'm sorry, people, is bullshit, right because Amazon made thirty three billion dollars in profit last year. If there's any company that can do just a little too absorb the cost of inflation, it's them, you know, Amazon, if you're trying to save money, next time I buy a toothbrush, maybe don't package it in
a cardboard box the size of a minivan. Maybe something you could say something you see the size of the boxing. I'm gonna get a giant box or timey thing, not gonna take time off to fold it, put in my recycling. And I'm sad because I thought someone brought me a car. Now, now get this, According to a new report, and this is really sinister, man, some companies aren't just raising prices
to keep up with inflation. No, these slick assholes are using inflation as an excuse to gouge their customers and make even more profits than before, because you see, they know they can get away with it. Right now, think about it. A year ago, if you saw that the price of something shot out out of nowhere, you getting mad at the company. But now, when you're paying a hundred dollars for detergent, you just think it's inflation, and you curse Joe Biden. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. And here's
how you know. Here's how you know that companies don't have to raise their prices. They don't have to because one company is refusing to and they're still getting rich. You go to the supermarket you hooked just around, and you know that nearly all products are getting more expensive except Arizona ice tape. The beverage is staying a bottle gardless of the rising inflation costs. The company's founder and chairman says he is not budging on price on principle
the company is privately owned. The owner is absorbing the higher costs of everything, including the aluminum that they can that the iced tea is in, and they're making cuts in other areas. Don Botagio, Arizona's seven year old founder and chairman, told the Los Angeles Times quote, I don't want to do what the bread guys and the gas guys and everybody else are doing. Consumers don't need another price increase from a guy like me. Yeah, Yeah, that's
exactly what I'm talking about. You see, you don't have to squeeze every lost dollar out of your customers. This guy is keeping his products despite inflation, and he even puts it on the can so the store can mark it up. Yeah, as opposed to Florida Iced Tea, which does not put its price on the can. Because those numbers are critical race theory, and you know, like it's so rare to see a company that's just like, you know what, we make enough money, Yeah, we don't need
our customers to suffer. I bet Snapple could do that too. I didn't waste so much money researching those dumb facts. I'm here to fill my body with a month's worth of sugar, not to learn put information on the inside. I gotta sugar higher. And let me tell you something. If this Arizona iced tea company can do this, then a company like Amazon has no excuse. Yeah. In fact, you know what I think. You know what I think. I think we should all boycott Amazon. Yeah, and only
order only order like three things and they instead of five. Yeah, make that feel the pay And obviously if you need something, if you need something, you should still order it, I mean, no matter what. Like no, I mean, there's no need to run out of like bubble buff bombs. That goes without saying. But aside from that total boycott of more than three things per day, yeah, I should put activists
in my bio for two years now. If you've wanted to travel like train plane or dong shaped spaceship, there's one thing you needed to have, one a ticket obviously, and two you needed to wear a mosque. Well, yesterday a federal judge decided that it's time to take our
masks off. This morning, a site we haven't seen in more than a year, travelers maskless on planes and walking through airports after a major reversal, a federal judge in Florida striking down the mask mandate on public transportation the Biden administration saying masks are no longer required on planes, trains, buses, and transportation hubs. Now United American, Delta, Southwest, Jet Blue, and Alaska Airlines confirming they will no longer make passengers
mask up. It's fantastic news, queens. We are the champions, played on Loop from behind the Sacramento International Airports Southwest ticketing encounter today and you can see some staff still choosing to wear a face covering. Others did not love it. I like seeing everybody's face. Forget what people look like,
you know, I'm actually so happy for that lady. You know. Yeah, But but I will say, if you forget what your friends and family look like in the time that you're at the airport, you need to get that checked yeah, or you're spending too much time at the airport. What are you doing? Oh? Another delay? Who are you? But that's right people, As of yesterday, masks are no longer required on flights in America, and not just flights. Amtrak has said you don't have to wear masks on its
trains right. Uba has announced that you don't have to wear masks in their cause, but you do just left a smile politely when the driver tells you what he thinks about politics, and various cities have said you no longer have to wear masks on their subways or their buses, right, although here in New York the m t A Is standing firm. They said you still have to wear a maskue on the New York City subway, which has nothing
to do with COVID. It's just an extra layer of protection for when you fall asleep and you wake up to find a stranger licking you. Very common on the f train. But from now on, when you travel in most places, mosques are optional, which a lot of people are happy about, all right, which makes sense because let's be honest, people, traveling with mosques sucks. Right. Your face gets sweatsy, alright, you can't pretend that somebody else's breadth
that stinks. It always feels like someone's using a tiny, dull soul on the back of your ears to cut them off. There's a lot of reasons to not like moss, is what I'm saying. But what a lot of people are unhappy about is how and when this rule was changed. You see, when they first put in the masque mandates, right when they first put it in place, they told us when the change would go into effect so people could prepare. But for some reason, this rule change happened
in the middle of people's flights. A mid flight announcement for travelers across the country tonight, here is up in the air as airline crews got word that the national mask mandate was struck down. Slight attendants on one Southwest flight collecting the masks from people excited to ditch them. Masks for boys pastumers no longer in course, the federal mandate requiring masks in all US airports on for aircraft. I have so many questions. First of all, why are
people cheering like that? People are cheering like they just said, you can take two bags of chips instead of one. Who Hell? Yeah, I'm glad I've made an allar three dollars for economy blocks. Yeah, and also that flattened him? Who are singing? What was that? It was like the worst version of the liking n here a celebration looked like Mardy grind the sky and all types of people were celebrating, black wild, old young everyone. Actually, if you
zoom in on that picture, you can eat. Wait wait, would you zoom in a little bit more, a little closer now, en Hans en Hans, Oh yeah, yeah, everyone are celebrating. It's a big deal. So YEA many people were celebrating on planes, you know, they were happy about the mass change, but many other passengers were silently piste off, which I totally get because look, I don't care what
you think of mosques. You have to admit this is insane to change a safety rule in the middle of a flight, people, Just as a general rule, nothing should change midflight. Ever. Nothing. I don't want the cost changing, right, I don't want the cabin pressure changing. I definitely don't want my seat changing so that you and shipped next to your wife. Look, man, you're smothering her allan Okay, she booked separate seats for a reason. Read the size.
This is why your marriage is in trouble. The point is, did you get set for a fake Allen when of you was like Allen, Look man, The point is a lot of people only booked that flight in the first place because they felt safe knowing that everyone had to wear masks. Okay, you can't just flip that while people already on the plane. You've got to give people a chance to decide if this is something they want to do.
It's crazy, you know, like you can like it's a safety This would be like if a roller coaster decided to change its safety policies when you're already on the ride, tenrian passengers a judge's rule that we no longer need the safety bars. You're right to Clem Clement Clement, Clement Clement, Clem Clement, clemmituck cover ha ha ha fo m hm. That's a true story. So look, if you're angry that the rule changed midflights, I think you have every right to be a right. We wore masks for what two
years on planes. I think people could have waited one more day, one more day. People were acting like they were suffocating in their seats, yes, yes, I'll have a coke please now. Because mosques in America have somehow turned into a political battle, A lot of people weren't just angry at the judge who made this ruling or at the airlines who instantly allowed the change. You know, a lot of people online are angry at the flight attendants
and at the pilots who are celebrating the change. But look, I don't agree with it, and I'll tell you why. People forget that. Flight attendants weren't just happy about the mosques coming off because of politics. No, a lot of them were happy because of the way people react to mosques and the fact that it has turned their everyday lives basically into UFC flights. So we're wearing a mask on a plane have overwhelmingly made up the number of
unworly passengers on flights thousands since the start of the pandemic. Yeah, two years of that. I don't even know what was going on, Like all those people's masks made of cocaine, what was going on there? You know? It's actually amazing that humans can invent jet airplanes to fry fly around the planets, you know, But then inside those technological models which just wild animals, because nobody, nobody should be act
thing that way over a mosque. The only time it's appropriate to have that level of emotion on a flight is if the plane is crashing right or if the in flight entertainment is stuck on Morbius. I mean, then then you can throw punches. You throw those punches. But as for the flight attendants, they already have to deal with so much ship. I get why they are happy. I think of all the other things they have to do. Huh, doing overhead tetris without giant bags, and they're helping parents
with screaming kids. They're giving people both bags and they have to collect the both bags back. Yeah, so forgive them if they're happy that they no longer have to be the bounces of the sky. Okay, they're humans. Here's what I think people need to understand about this. When it comes to wearing masks, not everyone is having the same experience that you are. Remember that, Yeah, you hate
the mosque because it makes you break out. Someone else likes the mosque because the immunocompromised and acne is the least of their problems. And some people don't really care. Yeah, so they'll wear it if they have to, and they won't if they don't. That's the truth. And I'm just saying I can see this from everyone's side, from Mosca's side, from Anti Moscar's side, even COVID side. You know, yeah, no, no, if you if you want to infect people, that's your truth.
That's your truth. Because I can understand why people are happy that they no longer have to spend a six hour flight feeling like a broke gas bain. And I also get white people want to keep wearing masks. My hope is that we can get to a point where we're not villainizing each other over a tiny piece of cloth. What are we doing? Huh? It's not sustainable for people to have so much hate for each other like this. I hate you wearing the match, take it off, put it?
I hate you, I hate you. Know. Don't empower to change what the airlines did. No one empower to do what the judge did. We We are not those people, you know. We should be saving our anger for the real enemy, All those people who think that a tuna sandwich is appropriate to eat on a plane. That's who we fight together, and that if I were going to save you from that Netflix. Today, the streaming giants saw their shares dropped lower than your grandma when they play
September at a wedding. And when you're a company worth a hundred and fifty billion dollars with two hundred million subscribers, your crash makes everyone panic. Shares of streaming giant Netflix cratering after the company reported losing subscribers for the first time in more than a decade. That stock is losing about a quarter of its value in pre market trading. It was already down more than year today, Netflix saying more than two hundred thousand subscribers left the service in
the first three months of the year. Now, observers are asking if viewers will have to binge watch their favorite Netflix show with ads in between. It's something CEO Read Hastings hasn't ruled out, allowing consumers who would like to have a lower price and are advertising tolerant um get they want makes a lot of ads. Damn, Netflix is in troube, which is so surprising because me and the forty three people I share my account, we're still watching
it all the time. We watch all the time. I thought they were doing well and and you know, How you know Netflix is in trouble is because they even considering ads. Yeah, they're gonna have like a separate ad section of Netflix if you don't want to pay the full thing. And you realize for years Netflix has hated ads. Yeah, the idea of they've treated ads the same way French people treat everything. Yeah, I said, what are you breathing oxygen? What that loser? When do you live on earthly? You're
not leaving now? Now? There are many reasons why Netflix subscriptions are down right, password sharing, inflation, reggae, Jean Page leaving bridgets in Yeah, no, I'm sorry. You want us to play fifteen bucks a month without that? Ask? I don't think so. I don't think so. Twelve nine at best, and now Netflix executives are being forced to consider multiple options.
The only problem is knowing Netflix, they're just gonna scroll through those options for like forty five minutes before they give up and just put on Signfeld's you know if you ask me, If you ask me, there's no reason to panic right there, as people like to panic stock market. This st but remember this was always bound to happen. I remember the Netflix reason, the reason Netflix became Netflix in the first place is because it was the only
thing out there. But now there are tons of streaming services. People want to know, is this the one that's worth my money? You know, doesn't have the widest variety of options, like what if someone's looking for the Champions League and Percard and three plus rug Rats and poor patrol for the kids. I mean, only Paramount Plus has that full range and quality, and most importantly, they keep me employed,
So that seems like a pretty good deal to me. Ye, Look at the point is the point is the king of streaming is struggling right now, and I really hope that they make it through. I honestly do I like Netflix because without Netflix there's no Netflix and Chilly and that would be a disaster. We need the pretense of watching Netflix for six minutes before we start the sex. Yeah, Otherwise, where are you gonna text people? Do you want to
come over for sex? How would that even work? All right, let's make it like a retired Dennis and moved to Florida. As you know, America's flaccid penis recently passed. But don't say gay law. You cover with your face like you've never seen You've seen that you're like, Oh, that's the first time you've looked at it before, and you said it was flacids. So they passed but don't say gay law, which puts limits on how schools can talk about sex
and gender issues. And this has upsets a lot of people, including the folks at the Walt Disney Company, because so many of their creative staff are l G, B, t Q. Yeah, if you're surprised, how can you be surprised? Like, what do you think? Why do you think Disney is always killing off straight parents? They hate Britos. Think about it. It's a conspiracy. So Disney denounced the bill, and then Florida Governor Rhonda Sanctus he denounced Disney, and now the
feud is escalating even further. The feud between Florida Governor Rhonda Santis and Disney is growing. Yesterday, he asked the state legislators who repeal in nineteen sixty seven law allowing Disney to operate a private government for its properties in the state, including Disney World. Disney's special self governance, which covers forty square miles, allows the company to provide many of its own services like fire departments, road construction, and
building and zoning. The move could leave Disney on the hook for millions of dollars a year in local taxes and with less autonomy over its property. This state is governed by the interests of the people of the state of Florida. It is not based on the demands of California corporate executives. Oh yes, the centers so sassy, look at you with a one hand huh to do like a little one hand Trump. We're not gonna be telling what to do, not at all. But yeah, the governor
of Florida is using the power of the government. Listen to me. Now, he's using the power of the government to punish Disney because they don't agree with his politics. Yeah, can we can we just admit that most Republicans are not even Republicans anymore, right, because for like a hundred years, the whole thing has been that there's nothing worse than the government telling businesses what to do. And now they're going to use the law to punish corporations for their opinions,
all because they think that Disney has gotten to woke. Yeah, and many has had a few abortions the first few years. Sorry was I Ah? She told me that in confidence. I'm Mickey didn't know. I'm sorry, guys, Yeah, I mean I thought corporations were people, or in Disney's case, rodents the size of people. And it's especially weird to hear these Republicans now saying corporations are getting too many special deals. We need to have stiffer regulations and make them pay
more taxes, more taxes. That's what we're onto. Sections is saying now for a corporation. So basically, conservatives are so freaked out about wokeness that is turning them into liberals. Yea, it is, in fact, in fact, if you think about it, if liberals, if liberals are smart, they should start harnessing this and like hyping up oil companies. You know, yeah, AOC should just come out and be like EDGs on Mobile is such a good ally. They support Black Lives matter,
They always use people's preferred pronouns. And then all of a sudden, Repulicans were like want destroy as on, turn them down, cover that with sola panels. We gotta add this wrothness now. I will say this. I will say this, Rhonda Sanctus aside as, I do think it's a little weird that Disney gets all these special perks where it's basically its own country. Do you understand how crazy that is? Like I never knew that they were allowed to run
their own government basically. You know, the only thing I did know is that they have their own jail. Yeah, no, I I didn't know. And this is this is true in Disney World. If you get in trouble, they have a little jail that they hold you in until they sort out the issue. Yeah, it's their own jurisdiction there and everything. I've actually been in there, but it was only because I jumped off the ride in the middle, like in the Africa part of It's a Small World.
I thought I saw some of my friends. It was a misunderstanding. Could have happened to anyone the next store if you are like what, I'm gonna jumped and there's a whole thing. But still a man. It's pretty bossy of the actors to pick a fight with Mickey Mouse. Mickey is one of Florida's largest employers, and he never turns the other cheek. Oh boy, I'm sad describes to be conservative, but right now he's acted like a liberal bitch.
He didn't raising taxes on a beloved Florida Corporation. Say hello to fifty dollar Turkey likes he's using big government to silence our small family business. I guess it's a socialist world. After all. You didn't hear this from me When Rohn de Santis went into the Haunted Mansion, this moser straight up shit himself, no joke. He got so scared from a children's ride he made a big old dukey right his pants. Rhn de Santis is have doness mother trying no and I have friends with a guy
named dopey. Rhn de Santis rock for Florida, wrong for America, pooped his pants. I'm Mickey Mouse and I'll cut a bitch. Wow, Nicky does not clear round. As you know. As you know, Lucky, there are now more streaming services than hot takes about Elon Musk Right, there's everything. There's there's Netflix, there's Hulu, there's Paramount Plus, there's HBO Max as Paramount Plus and of course everyone's favorite Paramount Plus. And so last month, seeing the gap in the market, CNN launched its own
streaming service called CNN Plus. And this was a big deal. In fact, they said it would be the future of news and if that's the case, the future is looking bleak. Quest than a month after launching, CNN Plus announced today the streaming services shutting down could launch March twenty nine. Warner Brothers Discovery Networks made that decision, though, saying it was about quality and quote customers will be best served
with a simpler streaming choice. Last week's CNBC reported that the streaming service had less than ten thousand views a day. About three million dollars has been invested so far in CNN Plus. The plan, according to my sources, was to put a billion dollars into it over the course of four years, helping to hit profit after four years. Wow, did they say that less than ten thousand views a day?
You could have just been on TikTok. That's wild. CNN Plus was such a disaster they'll have to send Anderson Cooper to cover it in a type black T shirt. It's a sorry sade. The craziest part of the story is that they said they spent three hundred million dollars on this thing. Three hundred million dollars. What did you do with that? Did you like clone wolf blitz or something? Look, because if you did that, I'd actually watch that show. Yeah,
I've got breaking news, boy got breaking news. But you want to know what the worst part about the CNN Plus thing is is that I can't make jokes about all the shows on it because nobody knows is what they are. Yeah, it's not fair. It's not like you're gonna understand a joke about the CNN Plus show Jake Tapper's book Club because you don't even know if that's a real show. But it is or is it? Now? I'm kidding it's fake. It's fake. How you believe me
it's actually real? You see, you don't love You don't know it's a real show. It's not a real show. All right. But let's move on to a different spectacular disaster Rudy Giuliani, former aide to Donald Trump and lawyer who makes all these clients look innocent in comparison. Since his role in the attempt to overthrow the election, Giuliani has largely disappeared from public view, like a snail retreating into its shell, but way more disgusting. And if there's
one thing America loves, it's a big comeback. And last night Rudy got his a little bit of controversy on the mass Singer. Last night, personal lawyer to former President Don Old Trump and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giulianni popped out of a giant rooster suit while singing a rendition of Bad to the Bone. But as he revealed himself this is what happened, Judge Ken Jung stormed
off the stage apparently didn't like it, saying I'm done. Yeah, Rudy Giuliani just got voted off the Mosque Singer, which means he's about to spend the next five years claiming that he actually won the Mosque Singer. And I guess history history was made last night because for the first time in the Mosque Singer's history, a contestant took off their mosque and everyone's like, no, no, put it back on, put it back on, put it on. We don't want
to get put it back on. It's also weird how Rudy has the time to be on a game show, but he's too busy to testify in front of Congress, Like maybe they should have just tricked him, right, Congress should have just like made it seem like it was the most singer combined the old thing pop him in the giant cockstroom and then ship them in front of the general Fist committees to it. Yeah, that's the game show America needs. Bernie Sanders would be sitting there like oh,
based on his other disregard for democracy. I'm gonna guess the rooster is Rudy Giuliani. Let's tack on the Bible. See sugar were bottle and dogs pay? I told you, Adam, I could see that the melting through the mask. I go say it before we go. Many four thousand homes have been destroyed and more than forty thousand people have been displaced by the floods and the mudslides happening in
South Africa now. Gift of the Givers is a South African based disaster relief organization that are on the ground helping those people who are affected by the floods. So if you want to help them in the work that they're doing to act fast and to save lives, then please donate at the link below. Anything you can give will help. Watch The Daily Show weeknights eleven ten Central Arm Comedy Central in stream Fool episodes in any time, all on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast