This Week's Top Stories | The Democrats Keep Control of the Senate

good luck making a dominant now. And some news from the world of philanthropy, Jeff Bezos announced that he will be giving Dolly Parton one million dollars to celebrate her good deeds in the world. Yeah, and that's how rich Jeff Bezos is. Imagine me so rich that you think it's charity when you give money to millionaires. He's like, oh, you poor thing. You don't even have a space ship,

do you. Yeah, let me break you off some. In a major geopolitical news, President Biden met for the first time with his Chinese counterpart, Jijing Ping, and after the three hour meeting, Biden declared that an invasion of Taiwan is not imminent. And I know what probably happened here. Jesing Ping went into that meeting planning to stick it to Joe, but first Biden told him about that one time we had their friend who was a Negro baseball player. He's work of the pool with all the kids, and

he'd rather amtwer all the way than Scranson. Man, it's not Scrans of the day, man. Scrands different back then, pot boys in terment. When my word is a Biden and ice cream marker, come on, come on, Jack, And Jijing Ping was like, you know what you can have Taiwan, Just stop talking. I don't I don't know what any of this is. Just just leave me alone, all right.

But let's move on to some of the biggest stories of the day, starting with the mid terms, that magical term of the year when the most exciting thing on TV is Steve CORNACKI doing math. Now, votes are still being counted across the country, but a few things are clear. One, you can take off your I voted stick and now we get it. And two Senate Democrats are about to

get two more years in the driver's seats. Let's begin with Democrats shocking the political world by retaining control of the United States Senate thanks to a win overnight in Nevada, Democrats now taking a victory lap, defying history and expectations, on track to their best midterm performance since John F.

Kennedy was president. This is a very happy day. With at least fifty seats and Vice President Kamala Harris's tie breaking vote, Democrats now keep control of the upper chamber, regardless of the outcome of Georgia's Senate runoff sleated for December six. Holding the Senate gives President Biden and his party control over the legislative agenda there and critically judicial confirmations,

including the Supreme Court if another seat opens up. That's right now that Nevada and Arizona have been called, the Democrats have officially kept control of the Senate for another two years, which is a huge surprise. I mean, when Chuck Schumer heard that happened, his glasses and then he fell right off his face. I mean, at least I'm

assuming that's why they're down there, right. I Remember, Remember, the reason this is so important is because keeping the Senate means that Democrats can keep confirming judges, including Supreme Court justices, like if any of them retire. Or let's say, I don't know gets like a d U. I you know,

I still like mom. But but remember, if Republicans take control of the House, then every dream the Democrats have of codifying Rovie Wade or taxing the rich or turning Pete Buddhajas into a real boy, they can't do it. I mean, they probably weren't gonna do it anyway, but now they have someone to blame, those passing Republicans. Now, of course, there's still the Georgia runoff in December between Raphael Warnock and Herschel Walker, which the Democrats don't need anymore.

They don't need to win in order to control the Senates, but it would give them extra cushion for when Joe Manson tries to cop block them, or Kirsten Cinema goes rogue, or Bernie Sanders and misses a vote because he's arguing with a grocery store manager. He's just there was a shot that Apple, play up your ass. I want to pay with a check. Wait, hold on, I wrote the

wrong day. You'll give him give me another chance. So we're gonna have to wait until December to see what the final counts in the Senate is and really that race can go either way. Can we just admit, now that the stakes are a little lower, you kind of want to see what herschel Walker would be like as a senator. I'm not saying they should. I'm not saying they should, and I'm not saying it would be good

for Georgia or of the country. But but when he gets Ms McConnell pregnant with another secret baby, it will be all worth its. It will be all worth its. He certain Marrik card and our five hour dollar rare. But while the Democrats are celebrating their success in the midterms, Republicans are being forced to look ahead and the question of who will take on the animated corpse of Joe

Biden for the presidency. So obviously obviously all eyes on Donald Trump, you know, you know, because he's the person who has promised a big announcement from Mara Lago tomorrow. Yeah, and no one knows what the big announcement could be. It could could just be that he successfully walked down a ramp, or or that he finally memorized all the words to the McDonald's Big Mac song. But but everyone is expecting that it's going to be his entry into

the presidential race. Yeah. And there are a lot of reasons people think that Trump is going to run again, right. They think he wants to avoid an indictment. They think he thinks he's already one last time. It could be the fact that he has a Cinemax movie in the White House dvr that he wants to finish watching Will and Manuel Get Back from Space. I don't know, but the biggest hint that he's running again is that he spent a lot of time recently making fun of other

Republicans who might think of running. Right. Do you remember he called Rhonda sanctus, Rhonda sanctimonious, He mocked Mike penceis polling numbers, and then last week he found something to say about a new target, Virginia Governor Glenn Yunkin. On Friday, the former president posted on his social media platform Truth Social that Youngcan's last name quote sounds Chinese. The post read, in part, young kid, now, that's an interesting take sounds Chinese?

Doesn't It couldn't have one without me. You know, just when I think Trump is a hip peak strange, he finds a way to take it to another level. He's like super sayan of strange because first of all, first of all, how are you so racist that you can make an anti Asian remark about a white guy? I don't even understand that. And secondly, how are you so weird that you can surprise yourself in your own text.

He's the one typing that. He's like, now, that's an interesting thing you wrote, kits are you guys seeing what? Just happy? You type kids? Like who are you? How's your word work? But the only the only explanation that makes sense in my head is that he typed the guy's name in and then it also corrected to young kid, And now Trump is having a conversation with his ultra correct like, wow, I never thought of it that way. Keyboard, you should be my running mate. So smart, so strong,

so clever. But this moment here, it's just another one where you realize that the tide is turning against Trump ever since the mid terms, because this time Republicans are pushing back against him. Yeah, come out there like this is not cool? Why you're saying this? They're fighting him. You realize if this happened before the mid terms, young Ken would have come out like why yes, in fact, I am a Chinese man, the how y'all and Mr Trump.

So let's move on to some financial news. After being hailed as the future of money, two has been cryptocurrencies worst year yet. The crypto market has lost one point three trillion dollars worldwide, hundreds of cryptocurrencies have completely disappeared, and Matt Damon has moved on to selling herbal life. And now, just when we thought the crypto world couldn't fall any lower, this happened. One popular cryptocurrency exchange is

on the brink of collapse this morning. F t X filed for bankruptcy Friday, leaving investors scrambling and destabilizing the entire industry. The company's thirty year old CEO, Sam bankman Fried, resigned and his sixteen billion dollar fortune erased. Bloomberg has called his meteoric fall from grace when a history's greatest

ever destructions of wealth. At its peak, the crypto exchange was worth thirty two billion dollars and benefited from superstar endorsements from Tom Brady, Gazelle Bunchen, Naomi Osaka, and Steph Curry. The NBA's Miami Heat had its venue renamed as ft X Arena, just last year, but now that name's coming off the building. The downfall of f t X began earlier this month, when reports raised serious questions about its

financial health. Those questions triggered a bank run on the exchange as too many customers tried to withdraw their assets. By Thursday, bankman Fried was apologizing on Twitter, saying quote, I'm sorry, I uh and should have done better. Yeah, one of the biggest cryptocurrency exchanges has filed for bankruptcy, going from being worth thirty billion dollars to being eight billion in the whole. And do you know how hard it is to lose that much money overnight without buying Twitter?

This wasn't easy. And look, I will say I am glad that he apologized, but a tweet saying I stop it doesn't capture the enormity of what you've done. You know, I stop is the wrong address. Stop is like the wrong UBO or something at the very at the very least, you've gotta add like ten more us because you've uh. And this, this crypto collapse is sending shock waves everywhere everywhere, from people losing billions of dollars to the Miami heat being forced to change the name of the arena right

now that FTX is broke. You saw that, And I'll be honest with you, I feel like this one is on the heat. If you're gonna let a company by the naming rights to arena, at least make sure it's an established company. Don't commit to some crypto startup that's been around for two years. It's like going on a first date and then when the person goes to the bathroom, you gotta lower back tattoo of their name. You know.

He's like, yeah, there's no way this get backfire. Yeah, wait, it's Channis that it was Jenny, and you have to admit. You have to admit it is crazy that a crypto collapse can take so much real money with it. Think about it. It's fake money, but people lost real savings. It's like finding out someone's imaginary friend died by driving your call off a clip. You're like, oh, your friend

wasn't real. They were real to me, And personally, I hope Tom Brady didn't invest too much of his money in this company because otherwise he'll never be able to retire. He's gonna be like ninety years old in a huddle, just like you're gonna run a post out left and and you block the blats and and did I have a jay by that time? Matter friend who was a Negro baseball player, He said, hurd the pool with the kids of the amtrack of this cubitup my box where Jack,

and come on, Jack, come on, let's do it. Taylor Swift. This morning, tickets went on sale for the singer's first tour in four years, and so many fans rushed onto the ticket Master site that it immediately crashed and no one can get tickets. And yeah, ticket Master to Taylor SWI so wrong. She's already put out three albums about them. They're gonna learn their lessons. And look, I know everyone thinks getting these tickets is the most important thing in

the world, but it's really not. All right if you don't get them, just relax, log off, you know, just give the site like a chance to cool down and repair itself, and then you know, don't bother you, just you just show all right, I got mine. You can go back on, you can go back on, you do whatever you are in. In labor news, Amazon is reportedly planning to lay off up to ten thousand employees this week. Yeah,

the largest job cuts in the company's history. And I don't even know how this is possible, Right, Me and everyone I know buy something on Amazon every day and then returns to the next day when we realized we didn't actually need it anymore. How are they not making money? And I feel for all the Amazon workers who are getting laid off. But the silver lining is, at least you can steal great ship on the way out. Yeah. No, at most offices you can only take what like a stapler.

But if you get fired from Amazon, You've got like seven air fryers. Was walking out of the warehouse, Like my prime day came early? Oh in uh In international news, Europe is on high alert tonight after Russian missiles aimed at Ukraine hit Poland instead. Yeah, which apparently could trigger a full NATO response. Honestly, like, why do these World War has always gotta start in Poland? It's like the waffle house parking a lot of Europe And I look,

I don't want to scare anyone. I don't want to scare anyone, but this could be the beginning of World War three. I don't want to scare you, though I'm not saying it will be it could be. So remember this is a good time to just like spend time with your family, you know, put down your phones and just spend some more tickets. Suckers, I'm gonna be the front vote by myself. All right, all right, let's move on to some of the biggest stories of the day.

Start sing with the latest on the mid terms, which, yes, the votes are somehow still being counted. I think election officials are like using their fingers. I don't know. The

point is, we need to be patients. But it's becoming increasingly clear that the American people, or at least the half of them who actually voted, have delivered a split decision, with Democrats taking the Senate and Republicans all but certain to win control of the House, which means that in order for Americans will succeed, Democrats and Republicans will have to work together, so America will not succeed. And you know, so it's it's kind of a weird situation for Americans

to Vietan. You know, having a split Congress is like being raised by two parents who don't see eye to eye on anything. Like one parent wants you to take ballet lessons and the other parent thinks ballet lessons are a communist plot to turn you trans and neither parent wants you to ask questions about who killed Jeffrey Epstein. But the mid terms weren't just about who runs DC. It turns out they were also about who runs the states.

And in Arizona, a closely watched governor's race has finally been called this morning, another major symbolic defeat for former President Donald Trump in the mid terms, Democrat Katie Hobbs narrowly beating Republican Kerry Lake for Arizona governor. Lake had been one of Mr Trump's most prominent allies in the midterms and one of the stanchest supporters of his false claims denying the results of election. Lake continuing to question her own races results last night, tweeting Arizonans no bs

when they see it, Yes, apparently they do. They'll do, but I guess in In the least surprising plot twist, ever, a woman who ran on a platform of denying election results is now denying her election results. And in a way, I bet she's relieved that she lost. Yeah, because if she won, then what she would have had to deny herself? It would have would have shattered her reality. It would be like t LC meeting a scrub and liking him. What it turns out a scrub as a guy who

can get love from me? What? Oh, you know what, I'm gonna go chase some waterfalls. Anyway, this this is a lot for Carrie Lake, So please, please, let's give her some space as she goes through the five stages of Republican grief, denial, denial, denial, pooping in Nancy Pelosi's office,

and denial. But remember, remember the reason this result has big implications is because with Carry losses, with Carry Lake's loss, rather every election denial running for governor or secretary of state in a swing state has now lost their races, which is huge for democracy. Torectly, you know this is this is just like in those horror films where they killed the monster and then he never comes back again. You did it? Democrats, Now leave the knife on the

council and go take a sexy shower upstairs. Yeah, but enough about the midterms. Enough about that. The campaign is over and it's time for the parties to govern. I'm shooting you, it's not gonna happen it sextually. Time for the parties to campaign for the next election. I don't know why, but American loves campaign is that you campaign to campaign, campaign to campaign. It never ends. It's like seeing someone who's only interested in full play. You like that,

You're ready. Yeah, well, let's put your clothes back on and start again. Oh yeah, Oh yeah, what's your name? Oh yeah, let's do that again. Anyway, as everyone prepares themselves what will be like with Trump, there's one pots. There's one pots that will be different this time, and that is one of Trump's biggest ass liquas is going

to be leaving his ass very dry. Nearly two years after a mob of Donald Trump's supporters attacked the Capitol, disrupting the transfer of power and chanting hang, Mike Pence, Trump's once loyal vice president, is finally telling his story about what happened that day. The President's words were reckless and his actions were reckless. President's words that day at the rally endangered me and my family and everyone at

the Capitol building. Given all that you witnessed in the Capital on that day, this is a pretty straightforward question. Yes or no? Do you believe that Donald Trump should ever be president again? David I think that's up to the American people, but I think we'll have better choices in the future. Hell yeah, good for Mike Pence telling Donald Trump you almost got me and my family killed, which is why I'm now prepared to say that it's

possible there are better alternatives to you in the next election. Call, though, that decision will be up to the American people. You tell him, Mike Pence, you tell him, thriller man. It's a simple question, do you support Trump or not. I don't believe Mike pens is the one leaving us hanging, and I know I know why he's doing this, right, and he's doing it he doesn't want to go too hot against Trump because he's still hoping to win over Trump's votes if he runs for presid which is so delusional.

Trump's people were the ones who wanted to kill him. The only reason they would elect him president so that they know for sure where he lived. Why would they vote for you? And even if that strategy works, it still makes him a punk ass bitch. It does. I'm sorry for bits. Not the type of man you want leading the United States? All right, Well, do you quite even say the thing out loud? If pencil was present. Forget China, Canada would be invading. I was like, oh, sorry, sorry,

We're gonna take Oregon. It just seems so easy. Sorry, sorry, but let's move on to some international news right now. If you're going through a breakup, your friends might be telling you that there were lots of people out there, and they're right. In fact, they're more right today than ever before. Human says that there'll be a new milestone in human development as the world population is expected to

hit eight billion today. The agency adds that this unprecedented growth is due to improvements in public health, medicine, and high levels of fertility in some countries. This is staggering when you consider that one hundred years ago, according to the u N, the global population was two billion or under eight billion. Hell yeah, eight billion people. Everybody, eight billion people on Earth. I didn't need the UN to

tell me this. I could already tell the where eight billion people because every single one of them was ahead of me for tailor swift tickets in line. And I'm proud. I am proud of all of us people, because say what you want about the human race, but one thing is for sure. WI Yeah, congratulations to everyone. For smashing and yes, some people are working harder than others, but the rest of us deserve some credit to I kind of I kind of wish that the UN didn't even

announce this because it feels like bragging, you know. Yeah, Like I feel like COVID is gonna see that we hit a new population milestone and be like, well, I saw them hit eight billion, and I took that personnel. I saw that, and I was like, I might come back. And by the way, I get now why the United Nations never actually does anything. Yeah, people are like, can you maybe stop the war in Ukraine? And they're like, sorry,

we're kind of busy. Seven billion, two hundred million and one seven billion, two undred million and two seven billion, and a lot of people, a lot of people are worried that eight billion people is too much and that we need some way to control overpopulation. Although I find it interesting that those people never think of themselves as part of the problem. There's those people are like, there's two crowded. We gotta get rid of some of these people.

You're like, how about you your people? No, not not me. I met like China or something. Come on, how are you talking about And Honestly, I don't think it's a problem. Yeah, I think it's a myth. I think we can handle the Earth's population if we just do a better job of distributing its resources. Right. But but if if we are going to reduce the population, I think the smartest way to do it it's just to get rid of identical twins. Not because it's a waste, it's a complete waste. Right.

We already have one of you, and it's like having two copies of the same picture on your phone just to lead one easy at least. Wait, don't don't, don't twist my words. Don't get it twisted. I don't want to hear identical twins being like, Oh, Trevor, are you saying you're gonna kill my brother? No, I'm not saying that.

I'm saying you have to. The Grammy Awards yesterday, the full list of nominations was announced and Beyonce is leading the pack with nine nominations, which, amazingly which amazingly time is her with her husband Jay Z for the all time record of eighty three nominations. Yeah. Yeah, makes your hashtag marriage goals look like shit. Oh and congratulations to Amanda Gorman, the poet who got her first nomination for

Best Spoken Word Album's pretty amenable to. Congratulations to her and to Joe Biden, who got a nomination for Best We Think Those Are the Words Album. Well done, sir well then. In tech news, Elon Musk is continuing his makeover of Twitter by telling employees that from now on, the work environment will be quote extremely hardcore. Yeah, and they should prepare themselves. But if anyone insults him, he'll call his mommy and fire them. That's not hardcore, it's

just me. And by the way, I don't know if he can afford to fire any more employees, and he's already fired half of the company. Pretty soon, you Musk is gonna be the only one working at Twitter. We're gonna be sitting there like, why haven't my tweets up there of like twenty minutes and you know, and be like sorry, I was taking a ship. It was so hardcore, all right? Where was I? Oh? In international news, NATO has announced that the stray missiles that hit Poland yesterday

were not fired by Russia after all, as was reported. Yeah, they were actually Ukrainian missiles being launched against Russian attackers. So the good news is that Nature doesn't have to go to war against Russia. The bad news is, you know, has to go against Ukraine. Yeah. Rules are rules, The rules are rules. I'm just glad it wasn't what we thought it was. And Poland is like we still got bombed. All right, Let's move on to the big story of the day. As you know, America's mid term election was

just one week ago. The votes in many districts are still be encountered, The runoff for Georgia's Senate seats is still three weeks away, and Wolf Blitzer is still waking up in the middle of the night shouting, he writes, Alert writ Alert. My point is the mid terms are not over, which means now is the perfect time to start covering the election. There have been so many times over the last two years when people have said that

Donald jobless Trump was finished for sure. You know. They said he was finished when he lost to an ancient artifact. They said he was finished when he was impeached for throwing a house party without his parents permission, when he got his hands stuck under the fridge trying to get a Cadbury cream egg that rolled underneath. That just let go of the egg. Donald I don't think people don't realize that Donald Trump doesn't care what anyone else thinks

about his political future. And you saw that last night because he swapped out the buffet table at mar Logo for American flags and made a big announcement on stage at the South Florida's State Donald Trump announcing the White House run he's hinted at ever since his election defeat, in order to make America graded glorious again. I am tonight dennouncing my candidacy for President of the United States.

The former president impeached twice, including for his role in the January six insurrection, placing himself at the head of a movement to take power back for his supporters. This is our country. Our government now at the center of multiple investigations. Mr Trump said a weaponized justice system is the greatest threat to the US. We must conduct a top to bottom overhaul to clean out the festering rod and corruption of Washington, d C. And I'm a victim.

I will tell you I'm a victim. That's right, folks. I'm the biggest victim of all. Every time I do something illegal, they come after me. I've done thirty illegal things. They've come after me at least twenty times. It's so unfair. So I'm there, you know, as ridiculous as this is, I'm actually glad he's being honest about why he's running. He's running for the same reason every at last gown cops runs. The popo was chasing him, he said it.

But this, this is what Trump does. He's always the victim, the poor billionaire who only owns fifteen golf courses and got to run the world's most powerful country for four years. Oh whoa is me? If Trump was a prince in a fairy tale, the movie would suck and the princess would never get saved. Yeah, the dwarfs would be like, please, we need you to save snow White, and He's like, who's gonna save me? Do you know how many scares

right in my castle? I'm so tired. You know how hard it is to pick from the lavish banquet my service prepared for me. I'd be like, but she's poisoned to eternal sleep, and be like, I wish I could sleep. You know how hard it is to get comfortable in a bed of coins so high? But that's right, Trump is getting the old team back together for one more run at the White House. And of course I say that metaphorically, since most of the old team is in jail.

The point is, though he's officially in the race, and you have to admit this is an interesting way to kick off your presidential campaign. Vote for me. I'm a whiney piss baby, because that's what most of his speech was about. And apparently he's not the only victim. No. According to the Donalds, running America into the ground was also very hard on his family. And it hasn't been a joy ride for our great first lady either. I go home and he says, you look angry and upset.

I said, just leave me alone. I got hasn't been the easiest thing. In fact, my one boy, stand up, Eric. I think he got more subpoenas than any man in the history of our country. So unfair al Capone, you've heard of the great gangster. Al Capone got far less. Billy the Kid got almost done, Jesse James. Now Eric Trump got more subpoenas. He's he's a PhD in subpoena

as they come from Congress. They Yeah, that's right. No one suffered more from the Trump presidency than the Trump family while the rest of you were living it up in your border cages and enjoying an endless buffet of COVID Eric Trump was being asked to answer some questions what a hard life and look, to be fair, I will admit that Eric has gotten more subpoenas than gunslingers like Billy the Kid and Jesse James and those guys in the Wild West. Well, they got a lot of

subpoenas you know, we've all seen the movies. I have papers for Mr Ugly? Is Mr Ugly here? You know what? You guys look busy? Uh will come back later. And by the way, by the way, that that story that he told that Trump told about him and Millannia was was anyone else as surprised as I was to hear it was Trump telling Millannia to leave him alone. Yeah. Milannia was probably like, oh, no, anything but that. I'll

give you some space, how about forever. Now you might be thinking the speech probably sucked, right because you're not a fan of Donald Trump. But it turns out even the people who were there to see him I didn't exactly want to stay. Trump has played a fraction of his energy. The speech ran twice as long as scheduled, and for long stretches left his crowd restless and silent. This was teleprompter Trump low energy, very very unusual. He started to get bored and started to I'd live and

it just turned into a rambling mess. In my opinion, candidly, he was quite subdued, low energy. I thought this feature to night was lame. I thought the crowd was lame. Reporters inside the ballroom at Marl Logo noticed a handful of Trump supporters attempting to leave before Trump was done speaking, but security won't let them. Oh damn, say what you will about Trump, but the man takes these bought a security Seriously, nobody's getting out. We're gonna build a wall,

build a wall, keep them in. But for really, you know, a club is shitty when you need a bouncer to keep people in. That's where you know things are not going well. And actually feel bad for the crowd. They're probably scared as hell. They're like, oh no, we're trapped in here. Trump has us locked up. He's locked us up, He's locked us and you know Trump aside, I will say,

I will say it is a little strange. I'll be honest, I think it is a little strange that so many people in the news media with fixated on how boring the speech was, Like who cares. For years they were like, this is not normal, and now they're like, this is two normal. Say say something about the Mexicans. We need ratings. Donald Now, despite Trump's triumphant return, the world on the streets is that he might not have the support that

he needs to win. Apparently Republican elites are clamoring for Roondo Sanctis all right, So major Republican donors have announced that they won't back Trump this time, even if Anka released a statement saying she doesn't want to be a part of the campaign. Instead, she wants to focus on her family, which of course I understand. I mean, she's got that adorable little boy at home, and I think she has kids, you know. So, Yeah, a lot of major players in the Republican world are not thrilled that

Donald Trump is running again, although apparently many Democrats are happy. Yeah, including people like Anie Sanders, who said Trump running maybe a horror show for the country. But I've got to say that as a politician who wants to see that no Republican is elected to the White House. In from that perspective, his candidacy is probably a good thing. And yeah, you know, Bernie, Bernie's probably rights. Democrats should be praying for Donald Trump to win the nomination so that they

can easily crush him in the general election. Yeah, that kind of thinking has never horribly backfired. Just ask President Hillary Clinton what could go wrong? But for real, people, are we really gonna do this again? We're gonna do everything they say. The Democrats are gonna hope to face Trump. The media is gonna write him off because Republicans don't support him. Forgetting that Republicans didn't support him the first time. Then he got on stage roasted Chris Christie. Slap jib

were so hard his whole family felt it. And then all of a sudden, the whole Republican Party was like, you are our king now and Ted Cluzer's wife is ugly. And before you say, but this time is diff we beat him already. Yet, remember that he only lost to Joe Biden by forty four thousand votes, and that was during a pandemic where Trump told everyone to bleach their lungs. He's probably not gonna do that again, probably, and you're probably like, yeah, but but this year all of Trump's

maga election deniers lost. Yeah, but they lost by one percent. Those are not round and find out margins, people, Those are the kind of margins. Way, if anything is a little bit different next time, Trump could win those states, gas prices could be higher, the economy could be worse. Joe Biden could keep getting older. Anything is possible. But no, I guess everyone's going to act out the same roles

as the Democrats are gonna hope he wins. Republicans aren't gonna stand up to him until it's too late, and the news will give him live coverage for every single word that he utters. I just pooped again, breaking news. But I'll tell you what, if we're all going to do the same things again, just let me know now, because this time I'll be prepared. I'll go visit all

the ship whole countries before the borders are closed. I'll invest in tiki torches, and best believe, I'm gonna stock up on a ship tunnel of toilet paper because I'm not using my socks again. You hear me, That is not happening again. The moon a k A Ashley Earth. The last time humans set foot on it was seventy two,

but now we might finally be getting a sequel. NASA going back to the Moon for the first time in five decades, launching the most powerful rocket in the world into space, kicking off its high stakes Artemus one mission. This is a test flight with test dummies, but if this succeeds, astronauts could do the same in two years, and NASA says that this really opens the door to a whole new world of space exploration. The long term goal here is to set up a base on the

Moon where people can actually live. Yes, unlike Crypto, we are actually going to the Moon. And before you hate us not saying, oh, do we already need to go back to the Moon, Yes we do. Of course we do. Alder and left his keys up there. Dud's been locked

out of his house for fifty three years. And you know, I'll think it wouldn't it be funny if when we got back up there, we find out that the original astronauts and a bunch of crazy ship that they can tell us about, like the new Astronauts step out and there's a bunch of moon babies that looked like Neil Armstrong and it's just like daddy. You'll find it back from your trip to against cigarettes, like, wait, why are

you still babies? Now? As much as I love space travel, and I really do, my one issue with NASA is why do they keep using Greek names? Huh? This program is Artomous. The old one was Apollo. Why does NASA's update things you know? Name rockets? Off to today's mythical heroes. Everyone, we're sending Artemus to the moon. Ball rang everyone, We're

sending John Wick to the moon. Now, if we had more time, we could talk about whether humans should be going anywhere in the universe, given the that we can't even get COVID under control down here, because if we're not careful, we might turn into the con Cristodors of the Solar System, right, just like is there life on Mars? There was, But we don't have time to talk about life forms in space because there are some new life

forms coming to Congress. How Speaker Nancy Pelosi just said that she will not seek a leadership position in the new Congress. Her announcement comes after Republicans one control of the House of our Presentatives in the midterm elections. With great confidence in our caucus, I will not seek reelection to Democratic leadership in the next Congress. Yes, that's right. It is a new era in Congress. Nancy Pelosi is stepping down and Republicans have officially one control of the House.

And this time they did it without shooting on the floor. That's growth, that is growth. And you know, Kevin McCarthy might be happy right now. You know that he's he could replace Nancy Pelosi next year speak of the House. But remember remember half of his caucus believe in Jewish space lasers that stole the election using Venezuelan in control. So good luck to him controlling them. Yeah, he's gonna

be trying to get more tax cuts for corporations. Meanwhile, they'll be like, Boa, we want a subpoenut hunter of Biden's pains, bring it here. Put that paenis on their rolls. And you know, Republicans are finally gonna learn that being in charge brings its own sets of promises. You know, you've got it. You've got to deliver. You know, you

have to deliver on your campaign promises. That's that's a challenge and was the number one issue that they campaigned on Joe Biden, and now that they want voters will be expecting them to Joe Viden. They have to do it. They have to go through the steps they said it not me. Yeah, they're gonna have to possibility to ask him out. They're gonna have to agree, you know, on the restaurant to take him out too. And then when they take him home, they're gonna have to listen to

his stories before he lets them smash. They're gonna see a people never tell you about the time I was him about the pool marriage A great time. It's nigger. Yeah, good luck keeping her heart on through of that. Republicans. Now, if we had more time, we could talk more about all the news coming out of America's politics. For instance, we could talk about the Senate moving closer to protecting gay marriage. Finally, oh, we could talk about Telling Best

becoming Ali's first female man. We could talk about him the next Seeker of the House will be able to beat Nancy Pelosi's high school on the stock market. But we don't have the time for that because there's one man who God forbid, might be joining these people in the Capitol, and boy, is he gonna be bringing the greatest hits watching this movie called Friday Night for to Night and some kind of night, but it was about vampires. But I'm gonna tell you something that I found out

a ware wolf could kill a vampire. Did you know that? I never knew that. So I didn't want to be a vampire the more I want to be aware of wolf. So I'm watching my TV, these kids watching dead TV. That got jumped in front of this hole a world, threw it on the vampire forehead. He covered his eye, then he took his hand away. He started last don't work. He took the carls he put it on the vampire forehead, and the vampire didn't even do anything. He said, that

don't work. That's way. It isn't our life. It ain't even working unless you got faith. You gotta have faith in this country. You gotta have faith in this in the elected officials. And right now that's the reason I'm here. Step aside. Gettysburger dress America has been your greatest speech of all time, because you tell me, the last time you heard the speech about vampires werewolves, faith, politics and garlic. Huh.

And I don't know if herschel Walker should be a U. S. Senator, but he should definitely be elected as America's official movie reviewer. Did you hear that? I want to watch that movie. I don't even know what it was. He should do this for every movie. Y'all seen the Little Mommaid. This was more of the fish, but then her boyfriend do it for in the Old Ship, and because of an octive push, she lost that voice. And we need a new voice in Washington, and now that Little Mermaid is black.

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