This Week's Top Stories | Biden Continues Building a Portion of Trump's Wall

one point five nine minute seconds faster. I mean, you do know what this means. Right, We'll get to leave work one point five nine million seconds earlier. It also gives people a great excuse if they get pulled over. It's like, sure, if you've been drinking, the Earth is springing, super Man is making me dizzy? Man, then why aren't

we all dizzy? I'm doing drunk jay? That questude. Meanwhile, in environmental news, a man in Utah has been arrested for accidentally starting a sixty acre wildfire while trying to burn a spider with a cigarette lights. And yes, this sounds terrible, but I bet that spider learned his lesson. You've learned that spider in Entertainment News, Brad Pitt wore a skirt to his latest movie premiere, and when he was asked why he did it, he said, quote, we're all going to die, so let's just have some fun

before we get out. Yeah, and I I love that. What an inspirational way to say. It's laundry day. It's also been like two hundred degrees outside every day. The question isn't why is Brad Pitt wearing a skirt? It's why isn't every guy wearing a skirt? You're kidding me if you fell out hearted about there, the fabric on both sides, everything is cooped up. You walk outside and you you would spend five minutes in this weather. Before you know what, you're walking around with two lightly poached

eggs in your pants. I canna let a breathe. Oh oh, this is okay. This is a wild story and travel news. Airbnb has announced that it will no longer allow people to list former slave cabins as vacation rentals after one listing caused an uproar online. And this must be one of those things that's probably white people. I mean no, because as a black person, there's no way I'm vacationing in a slave cabin. I don't care if it's a

former slave cabin. I don't care if it's renovated. There's no black person's like, yeah, this is where I want to spend my vacation. So good for ABNB. I will say this, if I owned a B and B, I wouldn't cancel these listings. I would say, yeah, you can stay there if you want, but you're gonna have to have the real experience. Yeah, to surprise those people, bodge into the cabinet six and I'm like, here's your bass. Get fun at up WI your way. I guess wanted

is see what it was like. Well, now you're seeing. But anyway, let's move on to some of the bigger new stories of the day. First up, yesterday, we had another round of primary elections in America, and I'm just gonna say this, this country has too many elections. All right. Every week it's like it's time to vote. But we voted last week. Now that was the vote to vote for who we're voting for this week. Then we'll vote on when we'll vote for the next vote. Vote vote, vote, vote, vote,

vote vote vote. So let's check in on the results of these votes in our ongoing coverage of Vote DEMI. So last night was a very good night for Donald Jigney puff Trump. In Michigan, his candidate defeats in a Republican who votes to impeach him. In Arizona, his candidates won the primaries for Senate and secretary of state. And in Missouri, the eric he endorsed beat the other eric that he endorsed. Was the best night for Trump he's

had that didn't end with someone signing an NDA. And these Arizona races could have national implications because these Republicans, you have to understand, the ones who are winning now, they all believe in crazy conspiracy theories about Biden stealing the election. In so if they win the final races, they could end up in charge of counting the votes in I don't know about you, but I know for certain I do not trust them with that job. Can you imagine what will be like? All right, another vote,

another vote for Trump, that's a Trump vote. That's another that's a Trump. Yeah, I saw that that was Trump. What you're doing there, that's not Yeah, that's not I'm counting that's Trump as well. Yeah, put it in. But that's it Trump again? What what what would look at that that person spent Trump rock? He said, b I DA and that's not yet spell Trump what they spell there wrong? That's all right? What's the final chaly? What that Trump won? Brazilian Biden minus Chad. I think I

did a good job. Don't shadowy warning now there is there is some good news other than the Trump virus spreading through the Republican Party like Vetna. Last night was actually a really good night for anyone who believes a woman should ever right to choose what happens in her own body. And it's all thanks to Kansas. I'm conservative Kansas. This morning a political earthquake and a big win for

abortion rights supporters. Kansas voters rejecting an amendment that would have removed abortion protections from the state constitution, in effect keeping access to the procedure there. The turnout on a hundred degree day in the middle of summer was fifty historically high. They've never seen anything like this. This is Barack Obama's numbers are state stood up and said no, We're the first ones to say no. So I'm just

I'm overjoyed. Wow, Kansas, amazing, absolutely amazing. Congratulations Kansas. It's moments like these I wish I knew which one of these states you were, But either way, congratulations for real though, for real, this is a huge pro choice victory, and it's especially amazing that it happened in Kansas, a state so read that Trump wanted by fourteen points. Yeah, no one expected this. This was a bigger shock than when bat Girl found out that her real nemesis of the

CEO of Warner Brothers. And this is where you realize. This is where you realize as well, the anti abortion views of right wing lawmakers and some people on the Supreme Court. They don't mirror what actual Americans wants. All right. It's not not cure and that's a huge problem in this country. It's like letting the craziest dude in your friend group plan your bachelor party. You're gonna be like, I just wanted to play beer pong. How did we end up in a Bangkok present? Not cool? Samuel oh In,

speaking of earth shattering news, Beyonce is changing her album again. Yeah. First, she took out the words spas from a song because some people complained that it was a blest a right. And now she's removing a sample from one of her other songs because Kellyes complained that she didn't get any credit from it. And look, I get what Beyonce is doing.

It's very nice, but I also should point out this could turn into a major disaster because you realize now, depending on when you listen to the album, you could be hearing completely different songs. Yeah, it's just gonna change. You don't even know what the thing is gonna be. Like I heard you Won't Break by Soul and someone else just like you won't score rag goal someone. I was like, someone check this mole. You don't know. Can

you imagine the chaos? Who's gonna cause? Yeah, the next time you gotta Beyonce concert, Beyonce is gonna be like everyone's sing along. We're gonn be like wat which truasure. Oh and because Beyonce is now taking requests, Monica Lewinsky sent out a tweet basically saying, what about removing her name in one of Beyonce's old songs Partition? All Right, it's a song where Beyonce saying he Monica Lewinsky or

on my gown? Yeah? And I mean I think we can all see why Monica wouldn't want that in the song, and for me personally, I also think Beyonce should change in the song because it's not right technically. It should be he Bill Clinton on my gown because that's the guy who did all the jizzy. You gotta remember who did the thing. I'm not saying Beyonce did anything wrong. I'm just saying, Beyonce, you have to understand with the way American school's teach history, your songs might be the

only way children learned. It needs to be accurate. Bontic is so, whether you agree with it or not, Beyonce has made her choice and good for her. In fact, you know what I think they should say. Some answers have to be forced to do it. Beyonce was nice. Some answers have to be forced, like R Kelly. Yeah, part of his sentence should be that he has to go back and redo all of his old songs because age is not just the number. Yeah, we're back in

the studio. My mind's telling me no, and not my body understands why it's a no. My body completely understands. My body completely understands how at Speaking of people who wish they could go back and change the past. Alex Jones, far right wing commentator and man who makes Donald Trump look like a reasonable human being, is currently on trial for spreading lies about the Sandy Hook shooting rights saying

that it was all a hoax. And today in the trial, one of the funniest moments came when he found out that his inept lawyer had screwed up and sent the prosecution evidence that proved Alex Jones committed perjury. Mr Jones, did you know that twelve days ago, twelve days ago, your attorney's messed up and sitting an entire digital copy of your entire cell phone with every text message you've sent for the past two years, and when informed, did not take any steps to identify it as privilege or

protected in any way. And as of two days ago, it felt free and clear into my possession. And that is how I know you lied to me when you said you didn't have text messages about Samuel? Did you know that? I mean, I was mistaken. I was mistaken, but you you got the message. I mean, I'm not a tech guy. I told you I gave in my text phoney the phone to the lawyers before or whatever, and and showing you got my phone, but we didn't give it to you. Now, Mr Jones, Oh ship that

looks funny. Oh man? I like, obviously he was sort of shocked. He started turning into every emoji he was like. At one point, he even tried to give himself COVID. Do you see that I can't speak? You know, the disease? I said, it's fake. Yeah, I got it. I've got it. Now, I got it. You know you're in trouble when the truth chokes you up, like you want an episode of Hot Ones, you know with those spicy wings. Is like, I'm sorry, what did I sorry? Ha ha? But you realize,

you realize this moment. This moment is huge, right because it shows that Alex Jone's probably committed perjury, which means Alex Jones lies about stuff. Yeah. I know that's shocking because now I'm starting to wonder, does that mean camp trails from planes aren't turning the frogs game? Was that also a lie? By the way, where did you get that? Lawyer? We just we just talking about that because you see how the lawyers are sitting there like blah blah blah whatever.

I would love to be there for that classic lawyer clan conversation during recess and we're just standing together. So how do you think it's going. It's like, well, apart from the fact that I this whole thing up worse than any lawyer in history, I think we shall have a shot. I think we shall have a shot. First of all, congratulations to someone out there for winning one point three billion dollars in the Megamillions lotzo did you boo oo? I don't know what that sound was. It's

the biggest lottery payout ever to a single winner. And it's wild to me that we just gave a billion dollars to someone who has proven that they're bad with money. Why are you playing the lottery? It's a terrible investment unless you win. Now, because Illinois has a law allowing lottery winners to remain anonymous, we might never know who won this money. But I will say this, if your next door neighbor comes to your cookout in a private jet,

it's probably them or Kaylie Jenna. You never know. Meanwhile, in some shocking entertainment news, Beyonce isn't perfect. Yeah, there's the part where the tomato has hit me. I know, I know, well, because this more morning Um. Queen Bee said that she would remove the word spas from one of her new songs because she didn't realize that it was ablest. And if you're having a bit of deja vu, it's because this comes just a few weeks later, right, a few weeks after Lizzo had to come out and

say the same thing. She had to cut the same word from a song, which honestly must be so exciting for Lizzo, Right, Yeah, she's probably like, oh my god, Beyonce sampled my standard. It's amazing. We should do a collab or like an apropology, we should do this. Oh, and there's another pop star in trouble. This is a crazy story. Shakira could be facing eight years in prison

for tax fraud. Yeah. The Spanish government says that she dodged seventeen million dollars in taxes by pretending to live in the Bahamas when her real residence was in Barcelona, Bahamas, Barcelona. So yeah, it turns out you cannot claim your residence as whenever wherever. That doesn't work. It's a good lesson for everybody here. And in labor news, in labor news,

this is one of the weirdest stories. Ever, a Chick fil A in North Carolina got into trouble for asking for volunteers to work the drive through window, right, And the reason it was volunteers is because instead of paying the workers, the restaurant said that it would give them five free meals for every one hour shift they worked. Yeah, and I will say it, really, they'll show you how good Chick fil A is, because all of you paused for a second when I said this before getting angry.

You're like, wait, what I know, No doesn't include the waffle fright, No, poo pooh. So that's what's going on a bunch of brandom things. But anyway, let's move on to some of the bigger news stories of the day, starting with an update on Joe Biden, the President, whose

approval rating is going through its own recession. As you all know, the President had COVID and then recovered from it last week, but then after testing negative, the White House doctor is reporting that Biden is now testing positive again with what they call a rebound infection. It's definitely not the rebound Biden was hoping for, you know. And coming on Jacko and Consident, the poll numbers prebound. You know what, I mean, he's not built next tomorrow. So anyway,

the President is back in isolation again. But the White House says, don't worry, he's feeling fine and he will be working the entire time. Although many of his supporters might not love his new project, President Biden says work can resume on former President Trump's border wall. The White House wants four gaps in the fence to be filled in near you, Arizona, we're told is one of the

busiest crossings for undocumented immigrants. It's another reversal of policy for the president, who vowed not to add to his predecessor's efforts in any way on that project. There will not be another foot of wall constructed on my administration. That's right. There will be many feet of wall. Ha, gotcha four there. But yes, it looks like Joe Biden is completing Donald Trump's unfinished business. So if I was

Mike Pence right now, I'd be nervous as hell. I'd be watching out, you know, you know how it's enough. What I love about the story is how Fox doesn't know what to do with these kinds of stories, right because they want the wall, but they also hate Joe Biden. You know, like, did you see what Biden is doing? He wasn't. He was against the wall, but now he's building it. I guess we have to vote for him.

How does this work? But you do have to admit it is confusing, right because Biden, he spent what four years railing against the wall. He was like, this wall is fascist, is racist, and it's un American. And now we're gonna have it. Patch it up in no time, folks, We're gonna fix up this wall. We're gonna fix it

all up now. Okay. The reason the reason the Biden administration gave for building Trump's wall in these sections of Arizona is because they saying it's dangerous for migrants to cross the river there, right, and so they want to put up a wall to stop the people from crossing, which you have to admit is a little weird because

now they're saying that walls do stop people from crossing. Yeah, but they're only doing it here because they want to make it safer, right, because the river is super dangerous, so they want people to try cross here other parts. I guess, although if you really wanted to make crossing a river safer, then why wouldn't you just build a bridge instead of matting the walls. None of them makes sense. That none of them makes sense. You know why. Why

Because it's bullshit, that's why. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. And look, I can't say it for certain, but it seems like the only reason they're building a wall in these sections is because these sections could affect Democratic Senator Mark Kelly, who's running for re election in arrow Zona, and he's been pushing for these sections to be filled. Right when you see it through that lens, it makes a lot more sense. Migrants sneaking into Arizona, that's whatever,

But Republicans sneaking into the Senate. You gotta shut that shipped down. And either way, either way, I hope because he's one of those things that can bring America together. You know, this is one of those moments where people can unite because when you think about a Trump and Biden have more in common than we think. They both want the wool filled in, they both have shady sons, and they both have close companions who require annual Rabies shots.

It's a beautiful, beautiful thing to see tried and and Trump. Oh, speaking of Trump, the Tangerine Dream is back in the news and yet another scandal, because this is one of the wildest things ever because remember how his wife, Ivana passed away, right, really sad stories passed away. Well, it's runs out the Donald may have managed to turn even

that into a scam. Ivana Trump, the first wife of President Trump, has been laid to rest in an unusual location near the first hole at President Trump's golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey. The reason is unclear, but according to Insider, operating a cemetery on the golf course will allow President Trump to avoid paying taxes on the land. Wow wow, wow, wow wow. A lot of people say I'll pay taxes over my dead body. Trump means it for someone else's body. And even for him, this feels

like a step too far. I don't care what anyone says like I. I wouldn't even laugh at that as a joke. If someone said to me Donald Trump's ex wife died, He's probably gonna bury her on his golf course to save on taxes. I'll be like, Yo, that's not cool, man, that's not cool. But it turns out Trump was like, wait, wait, say more, shame more. Gonna send this to my account and keep going what halready

showed you. It's how strange the tax system can be. Like, all this tax break does is incentivized you to be a weirdo who came up with this. It always feels like the law was written by a serial killers, just like there should be a law that if you bury a body in your yard, you don't have to pay taxes anymore. I was like, yeah, the the senator whose interns keep disappearing makes a good point. The motion passes,

good point. Good point, that's ridiculous. A passenger on a flight from Bali to Australia was fined more than eight dollars for having to undeclared egg mcmuffins in their luggage, and honestly, I don't know if they'll be able to pay for that, You know, no, because I mean the type of person who saves egg mcmuffins for later probably doesn't plan and has eight under lying around for fives

you know what I mean. But apparently Australia is very concerned about bringing in food from Indonesia because there's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease and that's why they're being really strict. And when I saw this was like damn. Do you know how poisonous you gotta be to get banned from Australia. Yeah, their border patrol is like, oh, pets and night, come on, three kill a spiders right this right, egg McMuffin, I could hurt someone, Mike, that

can really hurt someone. In sports news, the head of the Saudi Arabian Golf Tour revealed today that Tiger Woods turned down a seven hundred million dollar offer to play for their league. Yeah, turned it down. They have colos inside the woods. That is that is really amazing. All these other golfers just taking the money from Saudi Arabia, you know, but Tigers stood up. It's like, no, I would do the same thing. In fact, Saudi Arabia offered

me that's seven ound million. Yeah, you'll see. Just putting my bank account, you'll see what I'll do and the rest of you won't se me again. You'll see. Oh, here's something fascinating. Here's something. A major new study of seventy two million people has found that poor children are much more likely to move up the economic ladder if they have friends who are rich. Yeah, I know, which seems kind of obvious, you know, I mean, I feel like they didn't need you to do a whole study.

They could have just watched fresh prints. But still now we know statistically that poor kids do better with rich friends, which shows you why it's so important to have different zoning when it comes to housing. To have schools that are integrated, you know, gets people on the same trajectory. I mean, on the downside, it also means that you have some kids coming back demanding weird snacks. You know, it's like, what daddy's here? Now? It has purshoot a

rapman of Mars, Like, well, Theodore sounds like a little bit. Now, eat your cheese stick. But anyway, anyway, let's move on to the big news of the day, because there's a lot of it, a lot of news, starting with China, the original build the world country. Since j Jan Pin roaster power in the communist regime has steadily been increasing

its influence around the world. Right They've been advancing into Africa, They've been claiming territory and disputed waters, and most importantly, creating the perfect algorithm to get us all hooked on pink sauce. But one thing China wants more than anything is for the world to acknowledge that they own Taiwan, which is why they've gotten super piste off at where Nancy Pelosi just booked her Expedia trip. How Speaker Nancy

Pelosi has arrived in Taiwan. The speaker arriving just really moments ago for a visit which has been controversial and speculated about four weeks now. She says that the Congressional delegations visit is part of the unwavering commitment to support Taiwan's vibrant democracy. In the past few days, China launching the most aggressive military exercises in twenty five years, accusing

the US of interfering in its internal affairs. Chinese President she Jimping warrened President Biden in a call last week about the US meddling in the contested territory, with Chinese officials reportedly communicating those who play with fire will perish by it. Two weeks ago, President Biden had Warren the US military did not want Pelosi to go. I think that the military thinks it's not a good idea right now. Yeah, I would agree. Now it's not a great time to

start World War three. I mean the world has so many other things to deal with right now. All the drama on Love Island. You know, I can't believe that it cans. You ended up with David? Are you serious? And it's crazy that Pelosi just ignored Biden like that. Well, I mean I assume she ignored him. Maybe she just couldn't understand him. Yeah. He was like, listen, Jack, don't skip ahead over the town on the Taiwan he is. I mean, come on, man, went in here in American

you read me, Skip on it. She's like, you got a Joe, I'm on my way. No. So now, because Pelosi has defied Chinese warnings not to visit Taiwan, the Chinese government is conducting military exercises in Taiwan's backyard. Yeah, which is a scary escalation. But at the same time, when you think about it, it's also kind of ridiculous. The countries do this. You know, they fly their planes, passed in their guns, but they don't shoot. It's scary,

but it's also ridiculous. You know, it's like threatening someone by standing outside their house. Jelly, you want to mess with me, look at what I'm capable of. Imagine this is your face. Yeah, think about what you did. But let's move on from the war America may be about to start to the one it is still trying to finish. The war on terror, as you know, it started on September eleventh, two when the Twin Towers were destroyed by George W. Bush. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding,

I'm kidding. It was Dick Cheney. No, I'm no, No, I'm no, it was al Cada. It was al Cada. And the plotters of the attack included Osama bin Laden,

Khalid Sheik Mohammed, and i'm An al Zawahiri. And America swore revenge, and over the next twenty years, America killed Bin Laden, captured Sheik Mohammed, invaded Afghanistan, invaded Iraq, bombed Pakistan, Syria, Yemen, Somalia and Libya, deployed troops to Marley, Kenya and Nigeria, and completely obliterated the big shampoo bottle industry only tiny bottles for you. But in that whole time, the US never managed to find Amen al Zawahiri. Until yesterday, the

US has now killed the world's top terror target. More than twenty years after nine eleven, The hunt for bin Laden's number two is now over. He has been in hiding for more than twenty years, one of the world's most wanted terrorists. But tonight the United States finally caught up with I'm in al Zawahi. Just this has been delivered and this terrace leader is no more. Senior officials say the US government used an unmanned drone and health fire missiles to target the third floor balcony of a

residential apartment building in downtown Cobble. Experts say health fire missiles do not explode. Instead, the missiles are equipped with razor leg blades extending from the fuselage which slice through a target, so it will go through and essentially vaporized by human body, but somebody standing within sheat of this person would not be injured at all. A senior administration officials saying authorities spent months identifying Alswari's patterns to avoid

civilian casualties. Strike was so precise from a drone it killed him on a balcony without harming any family members in the building. God damn America. The walls most wanted terrorist off of his safe house balcony. I mean, also at this point, maybe we should stop calling them safe houses. Every terrorist gets killed in a safe house. They should they should call it a house that you think you're safe in, but you never know. What's crazy is that

America didn't just kill him. They killed him with a razor blade missile, which I didn't even know it was a thing, did you. I don't know. The weapons America has sound like things that kids just make up on the playground. I'm shooting you with a laser. Guy didn't miss out with razor blades and the sharks body. I mean, while the CIA is up in the tree, like with

the sharks body, you get that. Boys, we gotta go make one of those raisor blade missile that's experienced especially genius because like if it hits, you kill the target. But even if it misses him by a little he gets like a really shitty haircut, and that's just as good. No one's gonna be loyal to a guy with the bowl cuts, I will say, though, I will say, you know, when you see stories like this, you see stories about

what America is capable off. This is where you realize there's really no excuse for the amount of domestic terrorism in am America. Right because Zoaheri Zoaheri lived all the way in Afghanistan, right in some random safe house in the middle of nowhere. And America knew what time of day he liked to go out onto his balcony. But when a white supremacist post on Facebook that he's gonna murder everyone and then buys an Era fifteen, Everyone's like, oh, there was no way to stop there. Oh if only

he liked balconies right. And I know some people are saying, oh, who cares America killed Elkata's leader, but Elkada isn't even in the game anymore. They're like taking out Tom from my space. That's not the points. The point is America never forgets unless it's slavery, but everything else America never forgets. He thought it was over, America came back. America's a kid who never stopped playing high and see decades of

the game is done. Yeah, you're at a retirement party giving a speech in America pops up behind you like, sound you bitch, come with my grandkids. Not anymore. Still, though, this is like one hell of a strike. They got him with a missile. I'm still stuck on this. A missile filled with swords. This is how I know I'm not cut out for the war room and like all of the things you need to just commander in chief, all these I know if I was in that room, I would not have been able to keep my cool

in there, all right, talking to quiet, Mr President? They say contact and three two one? Oh ship God damn? Oh? How did you say? The swords and stuffing coming out of it? Oh, there's like fruit ninja. How are you watching this? How's everybody's watching this? You're not even gonna flinch. Nobody's gonna flinch. Oh I'm the only one. Okay, you're acting like you've all seen a miss out of that. Assults come out of it. Okay, I'm there. Only you guys aren't even moving here. You know you did see

that yet, you see that? That was wild? Wow? That was crazy. That missile just would can find anyone? Wow, even you come along, I'm just playing. But where you hiding? I got your Yeah? That was crazy. Finally, today it was a big day for the mid term primary season, with a lot of closely watched races that will tell us a lot about the direction of the Republican Party. You know, will it be filled with the crazy extremists

who worship Donald Trump? Like a god or will it be filled with traditional conservatives who worshiped Donald Trump like a god. And one race that everyone is talking about is the Republican Senate race in Missouri, and the reason that's getting so much attention is because Donald Trump decided to give one of the weirdest endorsements of all time. It is primary day in America, former President Trump hedging his bets in a Missouri Senate race, simply endorsing Eric,

a first name shared by two rival Republican cadidates. Trump has triggered confusion in Missouri after endorsing Eric in the state primary without providing a last name. There are two Erics in the race. Both Eric Bryans, who has been accused of abuse and blackmail, and Eric Schmidt, the current attorney General, have claimed the endorsement as their own. Now, both Eric's are saying the former president is supporting them. Each posted a statement online thanking Trump for his endorsement.

A source close to the former president to NBC News, leading off the last name of the Eric he was endorsing was intentional, saying it was a quote epic troll. Just when you think you've seen it all from Donald Trump, he does something like this. There are two Eric's running against each other in the primary, and Trump put out a statement endorsing Eric. Just Eric. He could be supporting any Eric in the world. Well, not any Eric, but you know what I mean. You know, I'm not his

father to me. The best part of the story that before he made the announcement, Trump called Eric Schmidt and told him that he was getting the endorsement. Then he called Eric Greeton's and told him he was getting the endorsements, but he didn't mention to either of them that he was endorsing both of them. Yeah, on an asshole. Turns out the dude even brings infidelity into his endorsements. You know, he's the first politician to have a side Eric. You're

the only Eric from Eric. Don't listen to those other Erics. They're just jealous. As you know. The Russian invasion of Ukraine has shown no signs of letting up. Why because Vladimir Putin clearly believes all of those dumb Instagram quotes about never giving up on your dreams. God damnit, lad when more memes about realizing you suck in quitting anyway?

Because of that, the European Union is preparing all of its countries for a winter without Russian gas, which means they're gonna have to make some really drastic changes to life. And in World News this morning, Spain is heated over an air conditioning van. The government there says certain shops and bars they can't set air conditioning below twenty seven degrees celsius. It's a limit dependence on Russian gas. Wow. Public buildings in Spain have to keep the air conditioning

above twenty seven degrees celsius. And I know right now all the Americans watching like, oh my god, that's so hot or so cold? And I don't know, I don't know, but I'm with you, Trevor, I don't know. Well it's hot. It's eighty point six degrees Fahrenheit's yeah, now you're with me. Yeah. And if you have to set your a C to that temperature, then what is even the point of having an A C. You might as well just hire some guy to breathe on us. Thank you, Jared, that's a

refreshing Are you eating? And you know, I feel really bad for the Spanish people. They need air conditioning probably more than anyone else, especially because of how naturally hot Spanish people are yeah's just being Spanish raises any temperature in the room by like ten degrees, you know, even like a boring meeting. It's like, excuse me, Janice, but do you have the TPS reports from accounting we needed

for the fiscal quarters Like, oh my god. Now, if we've had more time, we could talk about how Russia is showing the world wide's so necessary to move away from fossil fuels, especially because of the countries the fossil fuels are connected to and because of climate change. But we don't have the time for that because of another

shitty thing that Russia is doing. W n D A star Britney grinder today found guilty and sentence inside of a Russian courtroom nine years behind bars for smuggling cannabis oil. The Biden administration calling the trial a sham and saying the sentence is unacceptable. This is some bullshits, This is bullshit. We all know Russia doesn't care about what Brittany Grinder did. Well, this is the same country that's breaking every human rights law on the planet. But they're like, oh, that woman

has VIP got through Josh, she's real criminal. Get the out of here man should will know it well knows. And the one piece, the one piece of good news it looks like, is that this seems like it's just a negotiation tactic. All right. Russia is like, we have prisoner for nine years. You give us a prisoner who wasn't a merit for nine years, you know, and you know what, I think that should just do it. Yeah, whoever America has in prison, send them to Russia. Yeah

it seems like they win. But don't forget that person now has to live in Russia. Yeah, they'll get them. Be like, this whole country is prison. I missed food and are now. If we had more time, we could talk about how this whole thing could have been avoided if the w NBA paid their stars enough that they didn't have to go and play in Russia in the

off season to make money. But unfortunately, who don't another time to talk about that, because there's another sports story about a male athlete who has broken out of prison, the Prison of the mind. Aaron Rodgers recently revealing on a podcast that he used psychedelic drugs to improve his outlook on playing football. The thirty eight year old said quote, I really feel like that experience paved the way for

me to have the best season of my career. He opened up about his experience on ayahuasca and a retreat in Peru. Ayahuasca is a plant based like aedelic drug used to treat physical, mental, and spiritual issues in South American countries. Wow, okay, do you understand how big this is? People? Aaron Rodgers just said, Yo, I took drugs and that's part of the reason I crushed the game. Yeah, that shows you how much times have changed, because you remember

back in the nineties. That brings someone like Shack on TV to be like, remember, kids, I'd rather kill myself than get hard marijuana. Don't do drugs. But now this is accepted and and and please please don't getting twisted. He wasn't playing while he was on ayahuasca. Well, I kind of wish he was, because I'd love to see what kind of plays a quarterback would think of while they're on the journey, you know, all right, everybody huddle up,

struck and one. So Johnson, you're gonna look deep in your soul, buddy, all right and rediscover your inner child. All right, Dobowski, I'm gonna need you to hug that rainbow man, you just hug it real hard. Alright, Coleman, stop floating. Come on, everybody, let's go there now. If we have more time, we could talk about how great it is to see people like Aaron Rodgers normalizing conversations around whether we can use psychedelics to improve people's mental

health and kill them from addiction. But unfortunately we don't have the time because speaking of addiction, the Chuckle Tuckle is back. Okay, call this a comeback Klondike, hinting that it might bring back the Choco Taco after due reaction to the news that it was going to be discontinued. The company says it's reflecting on the outpouring of support and demand and figuring out what the next step should be.

This is amazing. What this is amazing from the end of the chocole Tackle and the fans brought it back. There's the kind of passion you normally only see in like the beehive or the bats Army. Yeah, in fact, they should get their own name, you know, even the Choco Taco Flockle or like a like like the Klondike klux Klan. May maybe not that one, but but you get my point. I'm just I'm just I'm just ripping here.

I'm just ripping. Like, if we had more time, we could have fun with the conspiracy theory that this whole thing was a marketing stunt, or what other text mix foods could be ice creamy fied. But we don't have the time about you know, just talk about any of that. I was just thinking of burrito because you want to talk about something coming back from the dead, then this could be the biggest story of our lives or deaths. Us stunning medical breakthrough has raised questions about the line

between life and death. Researchers at Yale University pumped a custom made solution into the bodies of pigs that have been dead for over an hour. Incredibly, the chemical revived cells in the pigs liver, kidney, and brain, and their heart even began to beat again. Scientists say this could lead to saving more human organs for transplants. Yea sweet Jesus in Heaven. Scientists have found a way to bring dead cells back to life, whole organs, people, hearts beating again.

You understand how mind blowing this is. You understand how how mind blowing this discovery could be. I feel like you guys are around right now. Pigs are coming back to life. People you were not just not a long way off. You just couldn't mean. We're gonna be in a world soon where you could revive people who already died. We could make a Jurassic part. But when people, Yeah, how dope would that be? Bringing your grandma back to life and visiting her in the park? Oh no, the

grandma's are escaping. Ready to cover your cheeks? Right, they got me? I'm doing cute. I feel like the Shift is the only story in the news right now. Do you understand how big they The pigs they made, the cells come back to life, they were dead, they made it. You guys don't even understand right now. I don't even think you people understand right now? Do you understand how huge is? Yeah, there's always people like one you like

to have Genner with alive or dead. Now that ship could happen, and all those dumb people like I would love to have made Hitler And they're like, ha ha, No, no, I don't even know why we're doing a TV. We shouldn't even be doing TV anymore. Everyone's talking about other things they might have found a way to bring dead people back to life. You guys still want to know about what Joe Biden. I'm gonna Joe Biden right now. They used the thing, they put it inside. They've tried

this with bypass machines. It doesn't work. The organs die. But then they pump these pigs with like a thing called like organ x, and now the pigs keep you. People don't even understand what they have. To make the pig sleep, they gave it a nerve blocker, and then when they gave the pig a die injection to see what the brain was doing, the pig twitched. Yeah, yeah, now you understand. Because ethically is the craziest thing. We don't even know. We're not ready for this. This could

redefine death. What is death? Who is death? How is death? It could be like an option. Now you could die and then come back like I want to die, and then like do my funeral and then come back and watch and be like, oh, that's what you said about me when I was gonna ow can This is wild and I know it's scary. The one piece of good news is though could lead us to a better world, because someone has to bring you back. Yeah, so you'd be like, you guys are bringing me back, right, and

people like, yeah, we believe back. Teach you to be an asshole before we go. Before we go. I just wanted to let you know that recovery efforts are underway after record breaking flood waters have hit eastern Kentucky. The Foundation for Appellation Kentucky are doing all they can to help those efforts, So if you can't, please consider supporting them and the important work that they do at the

link below. The Daily Show with Governorah Ears Edition wat's The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central watchful episodes and videos at the Daily Show dot com. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and subscribe to The Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central podcast