This Week's Top Stories - The Royal Family announces Queen Elizabeth's death

You know what you're saying, Trevor Eric has never been to prison yet, because that's because he's never met him, You dumbass, I said, mess. You realize now they're enough Trump people in jail. Just start their own prison gang. Right, it's gonna be like, Yo, that's the Latin gangs, that's the Arean Brotherhood, and then over there that's the Trump cabinet. Man. Those amps are local, They're crazy. And now another Trump associate has been arrested for the second time. And Steve Bannon,

yes Trump's former chief advisor. And what happens when you wait too long to clean out your fridge. You see here in trouble for in the state of New York. And what he's in trouble for probably won't surprise you

at all. This morning. Longtime Trump advisor Steve Bannon facing a new criminal indictment as he turns himself into authorities here in New York, accused of siphoning money from the group called We Build the Wall, an online campaign to build a section of President Trump's border wall that raised twenty five million dollars, the founders claiming that every penny would go to construction, promising those who donated a brick

in the wall with their name on it. Prosecutors say instead, Bannon and his associates line their pockets with large sums of that money. Bannon now calling the charges phony and a political weaponization of the criminal justice system, saying I Am never going to stop fighting. They will have to kill me first. Oh, they will have to kill me first. What a little bit. Why don't you go to How don't you get to a shootout with the cops. They have to kill me first. This guy's acting like a

gangster while he's surrendering to the police. You'll never take me alive, Coppers, Please put the handcuffs. I'm gently yeah, my wrists are so soft. But yeah, once again, Steve Bannon is going to court over allegations that he defrauded Trump supporters over the war. And can I just ask how long did the man crowd are gonna keep falling for this ship? Huh? Trump's people have been fleecing them for seven straight years, and still they're like, Don Junior sin,

he's two million dollars to reclaim he's thrown. That's the prince of Nigeria. Let's give him the money, honey. And just by the way, kudos to the prosecutors who even thought to investigate Steve Bennon for stealing millions of dollars, because I would I would have never suspected this guy. Yeah, looks like, yes, fifteen dollars. Look at him, millions of dollars. He looks like he sublets from Oscar the Grouch. I

wouldn't have suspected him of having the money. Now, if we had the time, we could talk more about how instead of convincing Mega supports is that Trump World is basically a hotbed of criminal activity. They're so drunk on his kool aid that instead it just convinces them that they're the most persecuted group in human history. Why do they keep charging us with crimes? Just because we keep

committing crimes. It's not fair. But we don't have the time to talk about any of that, because while Trump's inner circles in trouble with the law, it turns out that some of his biggest supporters are the law. The Anti Defamation League Center on Extremism has released a detailed membership list, it says for the far right militia group

the Oathkeepers. It poured over thirty eight thousand names from the leaked list and says it found hundreds of current and former elected officials, law enforcement officers, first responders, and

members of the military. The ad L says those names include eighty one people who were serving in or running for public office, three hundred and seventy three people believed to currently be serving in law enforcement agencies across our country, and one hundred and seventeen people currently serving in the U. S. Military. Right now, more than a dozen oath Keepers, including the group's founder, are facing charges for their roles in the January six riot. That's right, The oath Keepers are right

wing extremist group just had their membership leaked. Right, the entire membership list was reached, and it turns out that hundreds of them are active members of the government, military or law enforcements, which is pretty concerning. And I want to get beaten up by a copy because he's part of some racist organization telling him to do it, you know, I wanted to beat me up because he's racist. For the love of the game, you know, do it for yourself. How do you have a question though? Why why does

the secretive group keep a list of everyone's name. It's just it's just careless, you know. Yeah, that's why they will never run the world, Like the Illuminati. The Illuminati is smart. We don't make they don't make stupid mistakes like that. We'll never you'll never give it away. You laugh, like I'm really in the Illuminati. You're like, oh, we've got to Trevor. I will say. It's getting hart to keep track of all of these extremist groups now, you know.

It's like the Oath Keepers, the Proud Boys, the Patriot Front, like the list never ends. Actually feel bad for extremists, you know, because they're going to join all of these different groups, like they're subscribing to different streaming services. You know, why did they share accounts that can I jump on your account? For the KKK, plus, I can't afford all

these hate groups right now. Now, look, we could talk more about how it almost doesn't matter that some elected officials are oath keepers, because there's already a conspiratorial anti government ideology leading the Republican Party right now. But we don't have the time for that, because while some people are trying to overthrow the government, the city in Europe is trying to overthrow your diet. The Dutch city of Harlem maybe the world's first to ban most meat advertising.

The Green Links that's a green political party, has faced opposition from the meat sector and some who say it's stifles free speech. But it says the meat as need to be banned to prevent climate age. But that's you're weird, No, they are, like drugs are legal, but they're cracking down on meat. So what soon dealers in Amsterdam are going to be in the streets like here's your heroine. You'll meet me out back if you want some rabs man.

But yeah, a city in the Netherlands is banning meat ads because eating meats is a major contributor to climate change. And this is a big move because you know, meats advertisements have been around since the beginning of time. That's basically what the cave drawings were, right. I was like, yo, if you see this eats it, trust me and look, I get it. You don't want to encourage people to do something that's bad for the planet. You know. It's why we don't allow ads for Bobby's dream coal plants.

But I don't know about banning meat ads. What I do think they should do is make meat ads a little less sexual. Maybe that should be the law, you know what I'm talking about, Especially in America, every fast food commercial is like, you know, you want to juicy beef patties in your mouth like so big and media if your nuggets in our special sauce, Daddy, it's like, damn, Wendy's up with my nephew. Choo, I'll call you off

to now. If we had more time, we could talk about why so little climate policy focuses on the livestock industry, even though it counts for around fifteen percent of all greenhouse gas emissions. I mean, we willways here about how the cows emit methane, and I'm sure the cows are like, how about you stop eating us first? Then we could talk about whether or not we should stop foxing. But we don't have the time for that, because while the Dutch are getting rid of meat, a Texas judge is

getting rid of gay people's healthcare. A new ruling in Texas today is dealing a sucker punch to a key provision of the Affordable Care Act. A federal judge says that employers are not required to cover drugs that prevent HIV infections in their healthcare plans, adding that mandated coverage by the government of those medications violates their religious beliefs. This is a lawsuit brought by a group of Christian conservatives.

Their argument, literally, one of their arguments they made is they don't want to pay for these drugs because they vote facilitate or encourage homosexual behavior, which is contrary to

their religious beliefs. Yeah, you heard that right. A Texas court says religious employers don't have to include HIV medication in their healthcare plan because then the employees might be more likely to have gay sex, and this would violate the employers rights because it makes the employer complicit in the gay sex, which is the most ridiculous argument I've ever heard in my life. Yeah, because then by that logic, why do you where do you draw the line? Huh?

Employers can say that any medical coverage makes gay sex more likely. I exams. Oh so you want to see more manager have gay sex with everything physical therapy. Oh so you'll have the stamina for more gay sex. Gent to ensure, I'll say, you'll have a nice smile that will make me want to have gate sacks with you. Knife, Try, Gary, Knife, try. And you know this is the kind of religious exemption that only evangelical Christians get to claim. And'll be like, oh,

we're Christians, so we can discriminate. Let's see what happens the first time a Muslim employer says I'm not gonna pay my workers. What if they use the money to buy bacon? I can tell you now, No, Texas judge, You're gonna be like, wow, who am out of question the teachings of Allah? Who am? I? Also, for the record, wasn't Jesus the one curing lepers for free? He wasn't showing up asking questions like yo, before I heal you, you can get this leprosy from doing but stuff? Right?

I just want to make sure. Now, obviously we could definitely talk more about how the notion of religious liberty has been expanded so much in this country that not basically allows conservatives to discriminate against anyone. But we don't have the time for that because there is one story that came in and conquered all the other news, and it's about the Queen. We do have this breaking news

just coming in from Buckingham Palace. Queen oh Is but the Second has died, just hours after her doctor said they were concerned for her health. The year old Queen has been at Melmoral Castle in Scotland, among the people with her at Bellmorl her four children, Andrew, Ann, Edward and Charles, who is now officially king automatically ascending to the throne upon the announcement of his mother's death. The Queen, of course, the longest reigning monarch in British history and

one of the longest reigning ever. The Queen has died and longly the king. Yes, it's official. At the age of nine, Queen Elizabeth the Second passed away today. You know, I'm not I'm not gonna lie. It's been interesting to see how varied the reactions to this news have been. You know, the full spectrum of emotions, everything from how will the Kingdom carry on? All the way to you shouldn't have gotten India, by bitch, it's been really brore.

Whatever you think about the royal family or the monarchy, you've got to admit it's insane how long Elizabeth sat on the throne. She came to power in fifty two. You understand how long that is. That means she's seen Adam West as Batman, Michael Keaton as Batman, Christian Bale as Batman, Ben Affleck as Batman, survived that, and then saw Robert Pattinson as Batman, and look, I'm sure there's a better way to measure time than in Batman, but you get it. She's been in the game for a minute.

And on top of that, on top of that, she was a queen real deal. Because these days that term gets thrown around way too much. You just post a photo of your smoothie online. Everyone's like, yeah, self care queen. No, that doesn't make you a queen, you're a duchess of self care. Best now, in case you're wondering, Prince Charles is now going to be the king, which, let's be honest, is much better than being prince. I mean he's no, he's seventy three years old, right, and until today he

still had the same title, has his own grandchildren. That was weird. The world wasn't made for an old prince, I can tell you now. There's no one in a Disney movie who's like, someday, my prince will come and he'll wear off the painted shoes and he caught this cheese fibery meal. Like Charles is so old he's gonna be the first royal to ascend the throne in one of those motorized stair lifts. That's how old he is. The FDA has officially authorized new COVID boosters that for

the first time, target the Omicron variants. And I'm so excited because this means we can finally fight omicron just eight months after everyone got it an in case you're counting, that is now the fourth COVID shots, which means one more and we all get a free sandwich. Yeah. Meanwhile, in climate news, the West Coast of America is currently experiencing a record breaking heatwave, with temperatures in some cities

topping a hundred and fifteen degrees. Yeah, it is so hot in California right now that people are begging Harry Styles to spit on them, please Harry Plitz. In international news, it is now being reported that due to global sanctions, Russia is being forced to buy ammunition from North Korea. Yeah, which I think we can all agree means you're pretty desperate. Yeah, like you have to go to North Korea because no

one else will sell. It's like only a matter of time before Putin can only get haircuts from North Korea. That's gonna be fun nowhere else. All right, but let's move on some of the biggest stories of the day, starting with the only man in America who scrapbooking hobby could land him in prison, Donald J. Trump. Yeah, the J stands for January six. There have been some major developments in the FBI's investigation into America's form of press, so let's catch up on all of it in another

installments of America's Most tremendously Wanted. Ever since the FBI raided the broom closet where Donald Trump was keeping America's most important national security secrets, We've all been wondering what exactly Trump was hiding there, and over the weekend, we finally got a detailed rundown of what the FBI took away. There were thirty one documents labeled confidential, there were fifty

four labeled secret, and eighteen labeled top secrets. Yeah, and even better than that, agents found those documents intermingled in the same boxes as magazine clippings and clothing. So I guess Trump has a legal problem and a hoarding problems. It's almost like after the FBI has done with Trump, they need to send in Marie Condo, you know, just to be like, does this seven copy of Playboy spark joy? Donald?

It spoke so much joy, so much joy. But even more concerning is that the FBI also found dozens of classified folders that were empty, which obviously raises the question where are the documents from the folders? Are they in other boxes? Did he lend them to Saudi Arabia? Well, maybe maybe it's more innocent. Maybe Trump just keeps a bunch of folders labeled classified so he can give them to friends with photo copies of his butt inside. I mean, that's a good joke. That's a good jokey like what's

in here. It's also possible the intelligence community didn't trust Trump with classified information, so they just gave him empty folders. We don't we don't know. It could just be like, sure, these documents are so secret, we made them invisible. He's just like incredible, just like all the love letters Milannia sends me. I get it, totally get it. But nobody knows what Trump was doing with these files and folders, And now it might be a lot longer until we

find out. The criminal investigation into those classified documents found at Mara Lago is temporarily on hold as a result of this twenty four page order, where a Florida federal judge granted former President Trump's request that authorizes the appointment of a special master, an independent observer to review what the FBI seized from the Trump estate last month. The special master would separate any items that might be protected

by claims of attorney client privilege or executive privilege. The judge sent a deadline of Friday for both sides in this case, Trump and the d J to propose a list of candidates they want to be special master now. The judge also said in this ruling that dj cannot use these documents at all as part of its criminal investigation until this review is completed. Yeah, that's right. A judge in Florida has decided to appoint a an independent observer to go through all of the documents and determine

which ones are off limits to investigate it. And that person is called a special Master, which I'm not gonna lie. When I first heard it, it sounded pretty cool. There's like Donald Trump is getting a special Masters, like he's about learned kung fu, because it's gonna be like, hm, I am your special Master, and you Donald at my students, like Greg, can you teach me chap sticks? And what's gonna be really interesting is who they pick for this job.

Because the judge gave each side until Friday to submit a list of suggestions together. Right, So basically the judges going, Trump, you sent us a list of who you think should review the documents, and then like the Justice Department, you do the same thing. And then I guess the judges

hoping that they will overlap. I don't know. I feel like the Department of Justice is going to submit the names of like former attorney generals and FBI directors, and then the list from Trump's side is going to be like Jared the Hamburglar, a paper shred on top of the toilets. You know. But you know, once again, Donald Trump has exposed the part of America that I'm willing to bet nobody knew existed. Nobody did you know about a special master, any of you? Huh? I didn't even

know it was an option. I've watched ten million hours of law and order. I know about subpoenas. I don't know about breaking the chain of custody, objection sustained over ruled, side buying my chambers. But not once have I heard the term special master. But once again, thanks to Trump, because of his hard work and dedication to doing crimes, we've all learned something new today, And I said, thank you, Mr President. That's right. But let's move on to some

international news. From the American Trump to the British one Prime Minister Boris Johnson. Back in July, he was forced to resign due to a long list of scandals. You know, he was having parties during his own COVID lockdown. He was receiving shady loans, he was promoting people that he knew accused of sexual harassment. You name it, he did it. He's like a one man Shonda rhyme. Show. So finally his party forced Boris to resign and today they appointed

the new leader of the United Kingdom. The United Kingdom has a new Prime Minister this morning. Liz Trust officially took over from Boris Johnson today after a meeting with Queen Elizabeth at Belmore Castle in Scotland. We have huge reserves of talent, of energy and determination. I am confident that together we can ride out the storm. Trust inherits a nightmare war in Europe. Abiting cost of living crisis, the country braced for a winter of potential blackouts and

fuel poverty. Yeah, once again, the United Kingdom is bringing a woman into power only when things really shit. And they do this all the time. Margaret Thatcher, Theresa May, Mary Poppins. The list is endless. That's why it feels good to live in a country like America. It is so feminist. It won't put a woman in charge ever, just in case things get really bad. You're welcome, ladies,

You're welcome. And you know, I gotta say it's weird how the British system just springs a new prime minister on you, like like you know, when when they picked the new doctor who there's all the speculation and debate and the whole country's weighing in on it. But for the new prime minister, they're just like me, Liz. She's running the country now. So I wish the best of luck to Prime Minister Truth and from now on until she, I guess, resigns in disgrace, because that's what happens. You know,

that's what happens to British prime ministers. They never get to the end of their term. You just serve until some ship goes down and you have to apologize and leave. In fact, you know what, to make things simpler, the new Prime minister should just start their term with an apology speech. You know. It is truly an honor to be taking this job that I will be thought to resign from within a year. I'm excited to lead this nation and I'm ashamed for the terrible things that I

will do that force me from office. But until that happens, I have many ideas for this country. I want to rebuild the roads, I want to expand national healthcare. And look at that, Oh boy, there's the scandal already. It's been a privilege of a lifetime to serve you. Thanks everyone, cheerio, but by everyone, By all right. Finally, let's move on

to some big entertainment news. Amazon Prime Video has announced that it's new Lord of the Rings prequel series is it's most watched program ever, with more than twenty five million viewers checking out the show on his first day. Yeah, but it turns out some of those people might be hate watching. Amazon is suspending reviews of its new Lord of the Ring series of Rotten Tomatoes. It says the seventy two hour hold is to make sure the reviews for Rings of Power are legit and prevent internet urals

from bringing down their score. Amazon says reviews are being dragged down by fans who are upset out the show's diverse cast, which includes black actors playing elves and dwarves. These viewers say it's unrealistic for Token's creatures to be non white. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. This is a tough one. And this is a tough one. I mean, on the one hand, everyone wants diversity in the shows that we create. But on the other hand, you gotta admit it's a bit unrealistic to say that there were

black people in this white guy's imagination. You know. I mean, I mean, I can get on board with a show or a world where magical creatures caught spells and fight underd armies for control of a piece of jewelry that can turn them into gods. But if those creatures have a tan, it's just not believable anymore. It really isn't for this is this is so hypocritical. You're gonna get mad about seeing a black dwarf in Lord of the Rings, but you're fine with seeing a Kevin Hort movie. Be consistent.

He's so tiny. Also, by the way, I don't understand why people are this angry. It's not like all the characters turned black, all right, There's one black dwarf, a couple of black elves. It's not like the NBA calmed down like black. Yes, And you know, it's the same way people were losing their ship because of the one black guy in the House of Dragons. You know, people losing them. Oh well, it only takes one to lower the property values. You know, the House of Dragon used

to be worth four in a thousand. Now I don't know anymore. And I know what people are saying. People are saying that the books are supposed to be based on medieval Europe, so having black characters isn't realistic. But guys, nobody's watching Lord of the Rings for realism. Okay, they're watching it because they didn't have sex in high school. That's the only reason it's not realistic. I will say this stuff. I will say this, apart from the racism thing,

I kind of agree. I don't think it makes sense to have black characters in Lord of the Rings. Yeah, I said. The whole series is about seeing danger and then running towards it. That's some white people ship. And the reason the reason there were no black people in Middle Earth is because they saw the Giant Eye talking out of a volcano and they were like, oh, hell, no, we are moving to Africa because this ship here. No, no, we do not need to be here. We're gonna Africa.

We're totally sick. The East cigarette company Jewel, has agreed to pay a settlement of nearly half a billion dollars for marketing their product to teenagers, and obviously this is really bad for the company. Yeah, million dollars. The whole business has just gone up in strawberry flavored smoke. This is great and useful teenagers because now they have half

a billion dollars which they can spend on more jewels. Ye. Meanwhile, in education news, New York City has announced that students will no longer get snow days and will instead attend classes on zoom. Yes, this is a thing. No snow days only zoom. Yeah. I mean, luckily this isn't too big of a deal. I know it's sad, but you realize, thanks to climate change, New York's getting snow for what two years max? Now, Yeah, this is basically gonna be

Florida with better bagels. That's all it's gonna be. But I do feel bad for these kids, you know, missing out on such a big parts of childhood. I mean like when I was growing up, there was nothing I love more than waking up and checking the TV for school closings. And then you know, and I'd be like, oh, and then I remember that I grew up in Africa. You idiots doesn't snow there, And I give a shirt about you losing snow days. Hell out they hear your

dumb kids. Oh. In sports news, the US Soccer Federation has announced that the women's national team will now get paid the same amount of money as the man that is right. Female soccer players have finally achieved their goal. But you see, ladies, all you have to do is be literally the best in the world. It's something and someday you too will get paid the same amounts as men who are mediocre at the same job. It is inspiring,

is what it is. It is inspired, all right. But let's move on to some of the biggest stories of the day, starting with the war in Ukraine. And yes, it is still going on. Even though you put that flag in your profile photo. I know, I thought it would work too. As the war drags on, the fallout is being felt around the world. Europe is facing skyrocketing energy prices, Africa is still suffering from grain shortages, and America has been forced to part with some of its

most beloved missiles. But now everyone is worried that the next fallout from the war could be nuclear. This morning, there are fears the Zapparisia nuclear plant in southern Ukraine is accelerating towards a potential disaster. A report just released by a team of UN Watchdog inspectors found seven pillars of nuclear safety have been significantly compromised. Inspectors who visited the plants say it's security is being undermined by constant

shelling and Russian military equipment on the site. New images of damage caused by shelling at that nuclear power plant near Zapparisia overnight, the u n's nuclear watchdog urging Russia and Ukraine to immediately cease all military operations in that area and establish a nuclear safety and security protection zone around the plant. We're playing with fire and something very, very catastrophic could take place. I don't want to be that guy, but I think this is a lot worse

than playing with fire. Okay, there's a nuclear apocalypse. I wish we were playing with fire. He's like, we're leg with fire. This guy needs to like up his analogy game. What's on about the end of human life? And he's like, we're cruising for a bruising here. But yeah, the u N is urging Ukraine and Russia to stop fighting around Europe's largest nuclear power plants. And at this point, like, what is the UN even for? Huh? Because even I can urge Ukraine and Russia do not fight around a

nuclear power plant. The UN should be able to make them stop. But what is the UN? Dude? Please stop? And you didn't you know, the un Is. The un Is basically turned into those parents who have no control over their kids. Just like Aiden, Aiden, don't kick your brother, okay, okay, Well, don't kick him near the coffee table, all right, kick

him over there. And also this is yet another sign that Vladimir Putin has lost it, because if a nuclear power plant blows up in Ukraine that's next door to Russia, you also screwed. I mean, unless this is what Putin wants. Maybe he wants a nuclear disaster so that he can roll around in a radioactive cloud and turn himself into a like a mus you know, I'll just be like I hear new superpower. I am first Russian with the

ability to smile. Let's move on from the technology that could kill us, also the technology that helps us waste time on the toilets, the iPhone. Every year, Apple holds a big conference where they reveal the products that we're all going to buy to try and fill the emptiness in our lives. And there's a lot of suspense for these events because nobody knows in advance what they're gonna say.

Like it could just be that the camera is a little better than the last time, or they could announced that the new iPhone can read your thoughts, but today's conference was somewhere in between. It's the day techies have been waiting for. Apple is announcing its new products. Right at the top is the latest iPhone, the new iPhone fourteen and fourteen plus. Both have larger sco mareens and both are promising longer battery life. Throughout the day, also

announced the Apple Watch Series eight. They come in seven colors. The new Watch can track a whole bunch of stuff, including fertility. The biggest thing happening on the new series A is a temperature sensor that they used for ovulation and tracking menstrual cycles, and also crash detection. So if you get into a car crash, it can actually detect that and automatically call emergency services and send them to

your location. Yeah that's right, people, The new iPhone and Apple Watch can automatically detect when you're in a car crash. Because you know how sometimes you know a a car crash, but you're like, am I in a car crash? And the phone is like, yeah, you're in a car crash. I also love how the phone is fine in that accident. The car has gone the phone is like, I'll call

the cops wire you obviously, I'm kidding. What it actually does is if you incapacitated in the car crash, the device will contact emergency services on your behalf, which is a pretty cool feature. Yeah, and if it detects that you're in a fatal accident, it will automatically delete all your pawn in the cloud. Thank you, Jim Cook, thank you, thank you so much. No, look, look, I'm all for safety. I'm all for safety. I just hope that if I do get into an accident, you know that me and

Syria on the same page. Otherwise I could get a little awkward. Hello, this is svor was in a car crash. Thank you so much. ZERI he was distracted because he was looking at his phone while driving. What No, don't snitch Instagram. No, no, that's not true. I wasn't actually SERI I wasn't doing to move on, you know what. I'm just gonna die and I don't wanna want to hang up. I'm just gonna die. I'm just gonna die.

I'm fine, I'm done now. The other big feature that Apple announced is that the watch can now track a woman's menstrual cycle. Fertility and ovulation. Yeah, so if you're trying to conceive, it can tell you what time it is. Yeah, imagine that everything your cycle, your fertility, and your ovulation. A lot of people are excited about this, and a lot of Republicans heard this and they were like, Mary, that's our job. Retracked the ladies. Man, what are you're doing?

An apple? But enough about apple, Let's talk about Barack Obama. You guys remember him? Remember him? Was it was a black guy, good speeches, never stole nuclear secrets from the government. It's been more than five years since I'm a left office, but earlier today he showed up at the White House again to retake power. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. He was met to unveil the painting former President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. We're back at the White House,

restoring a tradition, unveiling their official White House portraits. Rock Michelle, it's my honor and invite you both to the stage for the unveiling of your official portraits. Come on, there, you go. I want to thank Sharon Sprung for capturing everything I love about Michelle, her grace, her intelligence, and the fact that she's fine. Call get a room, you do, oh you don't know, seriously, in a room at the White House and help Biden figure shut out. Please just

get a room. There is so great. I'm not gonna lie. I I am not an art expert. You know, I don't know the difference between Michelangelo and the other Ninja turtles. But what is going on with the Obama portraits? Like? Why why is he standing in a white void? I don't know, Like what I don't I don't get it looks like he got his portrait taken at the d m V. Why does it look like this? It's just like my license expired. So let's kill two birds with one stone. What is he doing here? No, because these

portraits are gonna hang in the White House forever. You understand that they should look white house like. Look at Michelves, she looks like a movie star painted by a flinch utiasts Obama's looked like they ran out of printed toner for the background. There's there's nothing in the you know, if you ask me, it's it's actually kind of ridiculous that they even do portraits anymore. Just take a picture a The only reason they did portraits. Back then, they

didn't have technology. Just take a picture of portrait takes so much time. You're gonna sit there for three hours while they're painting you, and then when they finally done, they're like, okay, now a silly one. Also, it must be it must be really weird to live in a house with portraits of your enemies. Do you ever think about that? Because they hang these in the White House, but you're not in the White House anymore. The first things in the White House probably doesn't roll with you.

So you just got enemies in your heart. Like imagine if we had to do that. Imagine if every one of us were like showing people around your house, like this is my actually cheated on me and he says the guy who beat me up in fifth grade, Brad, he was pretty strong, pretty strong guy. That's what presidents have to do. Obama had to walk down halways looking at George W. Bush's picture. Donald Trump had to sit on the toilet with a portrait of Bill Clinton looking

down on him. You know, she's like, look away, I can't go and I'm being watched. I can't go it. Why did I put the picture in the bedroom? You know it would actually be cool. It would be cool if these portraits were alive like in Harry Potter. Yeah, wouldn't that amazing? Because then if Trump did go back to the White House, Obama's portrait would be there helping him out. Donald, Donald, be careful with those documents. There are there are classified. Don't don't eat, don't eat while

you read them. Donald, You're you're getting catch up all over them? What's wrong with you? Quick? Quick? The Saudi ambassadors coming hid the documents? No, no, don't, don't sell the documents of the sudey ambassador. Come on, Donald, Donald, what what are you doing? God? This bitch is dumb? Oh my god, I can't believe it. Before we go,

please consider supporting the Kids in Need Foundation. They go to under resource schools and provide much needed supplies like backpacks, books, and so much more so, if you want to help them create a more equitable learning environment in America, then please check out the link below. What's the Daily Show? Weeknight Central Learned Comedy Central in stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast