The Secret Service Deletes January 6 Texts | Gregory Robinson

Let's do this. You guys feel great, all right, We've got a wonderful show for you tonight. Dallas has solved school shootings, we discovered the truth behind fruit, and inflation now has an evil twin. So let's do these people. Let's come straight in to today's headlines. Thank you, thank your all right, let's go. Let's uh, let's kick things off with inflation. Surprise. It's the reason parents are also

throwing tantrums and grocery stores right now. For the past here or so, the price of everything we buy has been skyrocketing, right because as companies face higher costs to make their products, they have to pass those costs onto the consumers. And I know what you're thinking right now, you're like Trevor, can't they keep their prices the same and make a slightly smaller profit? Come, You're adorable less profit?

But it turns out some companies are not raising their prices, and it's not because the angels, is because they found a much sneakier way to make the same profit as before, from the rising cost of inflation to the growing trend of shrink flation. The next time you're shopping, checked closely. This life cereal box recently got taller, but it lost two and a half ounces. That's almost a bowl and a half of cereal. Experts call it shrink flation. It's a very sneaky way to pass on a price increase.

They know consumers will notice a direct price increase, but they won't notice if the product gets a little bit smaller. We found some products. You see this charm in here. If you look really, really closely, you'll see the size of the rolls went from three sheets the three hundred sixty six sheets. You wouldn't know it. It's as super mega on top. And here's my favorite gatorade. It kind of grew a waistline here. It used to be thirty two ounces now it's twenty eight ounces, but it is

the same height. You can see it there. Yeah, she's right that gatorway but is looking good. You're like, damn, what you've been doing, Gatorade? Stop drinking gatorade. But yes, from soda to cereal and even toilet paper, companies are secretly shrinking the size of their products, but you pay the same. And you've probably noticed this. Right back in the day, you bought a big bag of chips everyone eight. These days you open the bag and there's just one

chip holding the sides to make it look big. And the worst part about shrink place is that if you complain about it, you sound crazy, right, if you're like, guys, I think these double stuff are oreos are actually one point seven time stuff. People are gonna be like, all right, buddy, why don't you put on this jacket and getting this white van. We got to We're gonna find the rest of the oreos. The toilet paper one is probably the worst, Yeah, because I'm sure, like like me many of you, you

know how many sheets are in the roll. Yeah, I do it automatically. When I'm sitting there, I will be like and then it's just like ah in fact, you know what, they should be a law. If companies are gonna shrink their products, they should at least have to tell us they're doing it, because right now, right now, they're being slicked, acting like drug dealers, cutting their products to stretch their supply. Now we're gonna try to catch them out. Wait a minute, this yogurt is mostly burp poop.

You're trying to get killed. Training job, he's trying to get killed. But let's move on from America's current problem to America's eternal problem gun violence. This week, Texas released its report on how the uval the Police Department handled the school shooting that happened there, and the report concluded

that the cops, and I'm quoting here, sucked ass. But the report added that even if the police response had been flawless, it wouldn't have saved most of the kids because someone on with an air fifteen style rifle can just do too much damage too fast. So the solution to try and stop the next shooting is obvious. And no, don't say it's banning the air fifteen. That's racist. The Constitution is very clear about who has rights in this country.

It goes corporations. Guns, children, then guns again that the national anthem. Then women, but only women who are holding a gun. That's pretty much it. But apparently, apparently, if you're open minded, there are lots of ways to stop school shootings without getting rid of guns. In fact, check out what this one school district in Texas is getting up to here in North Texas, the Dallas I s

D is trying something new to keep students safe. It is requiring clear or mesh backpacks for students in sixth through twelve grades. Students will be able to carry a small pouch inside the bag that isn't clear to hold cell phones, money, and hygiene products. Clear backpacks Are they effective in keeping weapons out of schools? Experts say crime does not necessarily go down because of them, well intended,

relatively ineffective. You can still hide a weapon inside of a clear backpack, inside of a book, cut out in a book, inside of clothing. This video shows how easy it is to hide weapons, regardless of having a clear backpack or not. God damn, how many guns did that guy having? These parents? Did you see that? Because like it starts it out scary and then at some point it was just like a magic trick. It was just like, oh, that's just behind you here and everything, but for real,

what are we doing here? People? I'm constantly amazed at how America is willing to get rid of everything except guns. Everything will be considered all right, let's get rid of normal backpacks. Everything is see through now. Also, you know what, no more clothes for these kids. Yeah, yeah, that could be hiding the guns anywhere. In fact, now that I think about it, just get rid of all the kids in school. That way the guns can finally go there

and pace. I think we solved this. And you know who's really gonna be negatively affective by these clear backpacks. It's all those jocks who are secretly smarts. Yeah, because now they're gonna be exposed. It's gonna be like, wait a minute, Chad, Like, are you carrying out Shakespeare in your backpack? No, dude, dude, it's just to cover my boters. Man, I swear, dost thou not believe it me. I'm clearly

those things are not gonna stop shootings. There's only one thing that's gonna stop shootings, and we all know what it is. Just cut to the chase and arrest for all the weird kids. Yeah, it's not fair and it's definitely not legal. It's not a good idea, but it is a good idea. All right. Finally, let's talk about the United States Secret Service, the people who wore one

tiny aarphone before AirPods were cool. Recently, the Secret Service has been all over the news because the January six Committee wants to know what information they have about President Trump's actions on the day his fans went tailgating in Nancy Pelosi's office. So the Committee told the Secret Service, give us all the text messages that you guys were sending that day. But the Secret Service said this. The Secret Service says it cannot recover the deleted text messages

from January five and sixth of last year. The Washington Post is reporting the agency has no new text to provide the Congress, and that any other messages exchanged between agents around the time of the attack were purged. The Secret Service claimed these messages were read as part of the device replacement program, adding any insinuation that the Secret Service maliciously deleted text messages following a request is false. Those Secret Service texts are gone, gone, gone, gone, like

really not ever to be recovered. Wow. This is so sad The Secret Service lost all the texts from January six because they were doing a device replacement program. What a perfect, I mean, terrible thing. Why Why do I feel like this is the same kind of device replacement program you do when your partner asked you to explain where you were the other night. Yeah, I was. I was due for upgrade because of what what me and Keisha were up to, so I had to Apple called

me and yeah. And you know what's interesting how they're saying, once you delete a text, there's no way to retrieve yeat. Once they deleteed texas gone. Because best believe, if any of us lost a texta Secret Service would find end it. They would find the ship out of it. He'd be like, all right, I didn't needed it. They'd be like, give me that phone. They'd be like, ha, so this is

what you were doing with kesha ship. And look, I know many people are angry saying like, I can't believe the Secret Service isn't handing over these texts, But I don't know. Maybe because I'm South African, I just assumed this would happen. Yeah, that's the Secret Service, that's their job, right to keep secrets. In factuld say give me the text. You should fire them, snitch. The real question we should

be asking is why are they even texting? Imagine this the Capital was being overrun by a mob of Facebook comments come to life. People are trying to hang the vice president and the Secret Services texting guys, what is this thing for her? Heaven? Bad? Hell bad? Hey back, he said to me, all that ship was happening, and someone's using texture just like, hey, guys, just wanted to warn you the vice president is in Asia. Uh sorry autocorrect,

I meant danger. The Vice President is in danger? Send back? Never mind. The problem solved itself. And I know a lot of people think that this was a huge conspiracy. I do. You know? People say that this is proof that the Secret Service was in on the Capital plot, But it could also be a much simpler answer. You know, maybe they just don't want people to see the texts that they were sending about their boss. Yeah, I know

I wouldn't want that. Can you imagine being at the congressional hearing and Liz Cheney's like, so, Agent Johnson, what did you mean when you texted President poop emoji is baby crying emoji in car? Emoji, but I'd rather go to jail man. All right, that's it for the headlines. But before we go, let's check it on traffic without very own Roy would Jr. Everybody going on your doing? What I mean, what's what's happening in the traffic? Well you want to know I don't know why about this, Roy,

I want to know what the traffic is. Okay, you want on traffic? Okay, all right, all right, all right? That is a car. When there's a group of them, it is called a traffic. So that is a group of traffics all moving around. I mean, honestly, like like what we really need to be talking about. It'side, the price of gas went down, and that's why traffic went up because everybody outside driving again it's terrible. This is terrible. No gas going down? This terrible. No, you can't say terrible.

You were the one standing here saying you want the price of gas to go down. That's what you said. What do I said that? You know you said that on the show on this show? I said it on this show. What's on the show? You said on the show that we ain't got no tapes. Look what we need to be talking about what we need to be talking Abo's this shrink flation, because that's a serious issue

that shrinkflation. Experience shrink flation all the time being the drive through being a drive through and you see that big big burger the picture they show your big perfect burger and you go around to pick up your burger and burger to shrink shrination, it's all types of shrink flations and the form that's different for their like, because it's not just the products that y'all that she was talking about just now, there's a lot of differences. Let

me let me ask you a serious question. Have you noticed that you've been getting less condom but on the three pack about a three pain? Have you noticed that condom you're saying that? Are you saying? Have I noticed that there are fewer condoms in the pack? Don't? Don't? It's a people. It don't make me explain it. That's like how you know, like when you got like a fitted head at first and come down to here and then they're just be sitting up there like out of nowhere.

You don't have as much fitting hat and fit in every like where's the resident? Do you even use contraception? Do you even understand that's on the road. Let's let's can we talk about the traffic, But it is another thing about shrink flation. We don't need to just focus on what's happening now. We gotta go back to the source of shrink flation, the first group of people that started shrink flation, and we gotta shut them down. And

then that's how you stop all the shrink flation. Shrink Flation ain't new, that's been going to at first the Girl Scouts, the Girl Scouts did it first. Don't you trust them, little brats, the Girls Scott. When you used to buy Girl Scott cooking, cooking, your Girl Scott cooking about your to be this long back. Now every year shorter and shorter and shorter. The cookies are thinner and thinner and thinner. And that's not right, man, that's not right.

Then to add insult to injury. And at least at least with these corporations, now, oh, you made the box of cereals smaller, but at least they leave the regular logo and the regularly like picture of the cereal on the box. And the girls, you know, these little little evil braids. Not only do the Girl Scout shrink flate the box, you know that they charge you more money for less product. Then they put a picture on the box of them having a good time with your money.

How this is specular? Way you want? You want to talking about the traffic? No, no, I feel like we ran out of time once again, right, No, we can talk about at that time. No, no, no, we're good. We gotta we can talk about. This always happens, and then we you know, it's fine, that's my bad. It's my next next time, next time. I got you on traffic for real. I'll believe you when I see it done. I feel like you promised me this must traffic and then it shrinks down. What do you just say, thank

you so much for it? With Junior, We're gonna take you quick break, but before we go, don't eat that apple and tell you why after we come back. Welcome back to your day show. If you spent any time online at all, you know that there are conspiracy theories about everything. The war in Ukraine has scripted, the FBI did January six. The Illuminati is real, but Beyonce isn't in it. But those are just the obvious ones, which is why we have a special segment that reveals the conspiracies.

You never even knew about conspiracies. They're everywhere or are they nowhere? Or is that exactly what they want you to think? So that's where my wallet is. Well for every day there's a meet. I'm Kevin Matthew Kelp. Follow me as I pull back the curtain to find the truth behind the curtain. This is project conspiracy. A lot of the most well known conspiracies are about what goes into our bodies. Fluoride, micro chips, spiders, the Chinese scent

to crawl into our mouths while we sleep. But there might be one government spy where that we've all been overlooking. That's right, fruit, let's go look. Every single piece of fruit has a stick around it. Apples, pears, whatever these are, even the pineapples. Oh god, these fruit. Oh these fruit stickers were everywhere. But they weren't the fun kind that say things like grape job or I love you very much. Instead, they were filled with mysterious numerical codes. Granny Smith, How

do they know my grandmother's last name? I tried everything I could to crack this conspiracy. I listed every number I could think of, even seven, but it was no use. The codes were unbreakable. If I was ever going to blow this conspiracy wide open, I'd have to go undercover. I love fruit, just love buying fruit. Just an ordinary guy buying lots of fruit. You know, you're probably wondering why I'm buying so much fruits because I'm having a

fruit party later. Unfortunately you can't come. So yeah, hey, I did notice that on all the fruit they have these stickers. You don't know what that's about, you, I guess so they can track the fruit or something. Oh my god, she admitted it. Are you talking to Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, oh my god. Okay, so, thanks to my espionage skills, we've established that the codes are used for tracking. But now it's time to find out who's doing the track? Does anybody know where? After

my usual investigative techniques turned up nothing? Does anybody know when these little stickers come from? I was able to find some answers by hacking the Deep State. Meet the i f p S a k A the International Federation for Produced Standards a k A a secret global ball

because I've never heard of it before. And guess what They're in cahoots with the f D A a k A. The government, the FDA, regulates the adhesives on these stickers, and they just so happened to be the same shadow organization that recommends you eat three to four servings of fruit every day, an amount of fruit so ridiculous that anyone who's tried to do it, it's probably consumed two to three stickers without even realizing it. Are these stickers

tracking the fruit or maybe they're tracking you? So? Is the government really trying to trick us into eating stickers something every teacher from kindergarten through college told me not to do. There's only one way to find out. Let's see if my stomach can handle the truth shown with the apple, it was immediately clear that eating the sticker turned me into a walking GPS for the government. Everywhere I went, I was being followed by big Brother. The

police watched my every move. Secret agents pretended to read newspapers. Hey, not so sneaky with your special spy Gagine, now are you? The evidence couldn't be clear. The d A is tracking us through fruit stickers, more like the Food and Deceit administration. That's actually pretty good. I should write that down. God already come up with the stuff Kevin. Yet, now that I've uncovered the truth, I can't be a part of

this corrupt sticker system anymore. And luckily I don't need the f d A and their spy fruit because some of the best fruit actually is regulated by mother nature. Yeah. Mm hmmm mm hmm. Taste like freedom. Yeah, it's a little funky. Okay, burns below West and peace, Kevin. Alf Stay tuned because when we come back, the director of the world's biggest telescope will tell me what's found in out of space. So don't go away. Welcome back to

the game show My Death to Life. There's a long time NASA employee who oversaw the program that launched the largest and most powerful satellite into space for the first time ever. Thanks to the James Webb Space Telescope, we're seeing deeper into the universe than ever before. So please welcome Gregory Robinson. Mr Robinson's, welcome to the Daily Show. I'm glad to be here, excited to have you here because this is one of the biggest stories. You know,

everyone sold on social media. There's a picture of like what it seemed like the universe everything, and then it was like here's the old one. Here's the new one, and then we all had to act like we knew why that was important. But you're actually the person behind why it happened and how it how it got together. So let's start with this for everybody. Everybody to be on the same page. Mostly me, um, why is this jump in telescope technology so impressive and why is it

so importance? So we compared. We compared into Hubble, which was state of the art thirty years ago, and Web gives us a much bigger mirror at six and a half ms versus two point four for Hubble. And the infra rear technology. If you think about looking like night vision, you can see heat through something, so it gives us infrarey capability, so we can look through the dust and clouds and gulk of space and look much further back.

Of course, our science and instruments are a lot more complex too, so the clarity is a lot better and the depth is a lot better. What I know is really con using sometimes we're talking about anything in space, is that sometimes they say things in terms of time, and sometimes they say things in terms of distance, and it gets it. You know, they'll be like, we're seeing something from thirteen billion years ago. I'm like, I'm sorry, what what? What? What does that even mean? Well? Sometimes

I say what as well? So we're looking at at light traveling eight six thousand miles per second. I could imagine that. So we're looking at light something that happened billions of years ago and it's just reaching us now. So it's it's the time distance travel of light, and that's actually what we're looking at. And so we can see what happened a really long time ago somewhere else out there. What do we use this information for? Like, will it tell us that aliens like left a long

time now they're already here? Does it does it tell us where we're gonna go after we destroy Earth? What does it telling us? Well, you know, and astrophysics and astronomy, we're always looking to answer questions. We're do we come from? How do we fit into this universe? Are we alone? Which is another one we're looking for. So it helps

inform us on how we fit into the universe. And as far as light travel, I remember growing up in the country and shot the flashlight up in the sky and said, I wonder how how long has taken it to get to certain points, which is the same kind of thing as light travel. That's what you're looking for. It's interesting you say that growing up in the country, because I've read your story and you have one of the most fascinating journeys I've ever come across. Because you

grew up your parents were sharecroppers in rural Virginia. All right, You went to a segregated school, you didn't have the education that you wanted to and then here you are, the man who was brought in to basically get this ten billion dollar telescope up and run. It was failing before you stepped in. They called you and they're like, we need you to do this, and you did it. What does that meaning? Conform? And how did you get

into this world? So U a couple of things. One is um that education and the segregated school was excellent. We had some of the best teachers in the world. Many of them were far more educated than the teachers and other schools because they couldn't get jobs in industry like they can today. So we had great teachers who really nurtured us and cared about us. Uh. So my beginnings were very strong, and so of course I lived

through the Apollo time. I was a little kid then, which excited me, but that still didn't get my interests in space. So I was in college and and friends of mine actually did internships at at NASA and they made it sound sound so interesting. And a few years later I started my Korean industry, but a few years later actually joined NASA. And uh, four and a half years ago there were some issues. Um my boss asked me to try to get her over goal one. Now I will say a lot of the work was already done,

already completed, So thanks to the team for that. And this team is an incredibly, incredibly smart team of people if you could imagine at NASA, so smarts is never short and NASA and really not for this team. And then this team is not just NASA's our whole industrial base, UH plus the European Space Agency and Canadian Space Agency to about our big partners. Let me ask you a question. I believe that you're retiring suit correct, Yes, I'm retiring soon.

Life comes at me fast because I mean, you've been around for so long, you've been doing such a great job, so that's what's gonna miss you. But but because you're retiring, I feel like you could you could probably tell me a few things you wouldn't be allowed. It's like, you know, when when you're leaving, like so have you have you taken any pictures and then seen something that you like they don't tell us about, like you know what I like.

Let me put it this way. In New York, if you have like a super powered telescope and you shine at another person's apartment, you might see some things. And I'm wondering if you've seen some things out there, but then you don't tell us all these all the pictures you can just wink. If I'm close you can well. I think your telescope in New York example, you probably

see something you've already seen before. I think in our case, we have a certainty of things we haven't seen before, but a lot clearer and we will we will learn things that we can never even imagine. So as we answer questions, we also will create new questions for the future. What are we using the answers to these questions to do? You know, I understand there is some importance to it, but how does it help what happens on earth? Or what are people hoping? We will learn from these telescopes

and what they're revealing. Where one, we learn a lot about physics. And if you think about it, if you go back many, many years, uh and you think of the physics textbooks. Um, we have information today that wasn't there then. And if you think about just a hundred years ago, we thought that was just one galaxy in the whole universe ours and Uhlble uh Helble telescope plaimed after him, discovered more galaxies. So we know a lot more about who we are, where we are, where we

come from. And so that's on the n astrophysics stamp side. But other science missions tell us a lot about their Earth, our interaction with the Sun impact. So the Earth has a system within our own solar system. I see. So now that you have the James Webb Telescope, I mean Hubble was until a few months ago, you know, was everybody's bay in space, you know. And then I just felt a little you know, I felt a little sad on Hubble's behalf. Everyone's just like I look at ship

Hubble's pictures. What happens to Hubble now? So Hubble has been operating more than thirty years um, and again it was the state of the art it's going to continue operating. Okay, there are still things, uh we benefit from Hubble, So we're still looking forward to a long time operation. Is there something Hubble can do that that the web telescope count Uh, not at the level we're talking about, not

at all. And just three months were two or three months ago, m Hubble discovered a star that was nine hundred million years after the Big Bang. So wrap that around your head. Nine hundred million years um after the Big Bang now and and space. That's still a long time when you're talking Bigion's. That's looking back quite a bit. That is really fascinating. I mean, I mean, I just love the idea that you know, you're part of this mission.

You get this telescope, you know, you have to shoot it up into space and then you start taking the pictures. Who whose job is it to stitch the pictures together and to get to unblur the pictures because when you when you take the picture, it's I've heard it basically looks like nothing. That's what I've been told. It's just it just looks like somebody has shown you a picture of night and then somebody sits there and they go like, oh no, I see something like who's doing that? And

how do you do it? And how do you think that you're actually solving It's like, so the scientists actually they know what they're looking at, um, and so they do some what we call processing to make the pictures look more presentable to human eye. You can say you can, well, I'm one of those humans too. So so the scientist process that they use the science instruments and then they have some post processing beyond the instruments to make it look like what we've seen recently. But they actually know

what they're looking at. When they receive they get it. They just they make it simpler for us. Absolutely. So I would love to know where your journey goes from here. I mean, you've been part of NASA for such a long time. You've been part of the biggest you know, discovery or invention that humans have ever created. We're too from here you retire and then and then what do you do? So so certainly web is done from a development standpoint, so now it's the scientist job for the

next twenty plus years. And know they would do well. Um, So it's um, it's just that time for me, I'm not running from a to annything. It's just time when after as often say, don't let the good looks food you. I'm still a young man, but but but I'm getting up there, so so I still plan to do some some other things. Still exploring what I'm gonna do when I've roll up looking forward. Hello this, Thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you for explaining,

or thank you for helping creative. Please say what fun to the team You're want to take your quick breakfold You're right back after this. Thank you so much. We'll what's our super to my fuck before we go. Please consider supporting Team, an organization providing free fitness and recreation programs for youth with disabilities. If you want to help them offer equal opportunities for recreation, fitness, and friendship, then

please donate at the link below. Until next time, stay safe out there, and remember, if your boss ever complains that you're not doing enough work, you just tell them shri Inflation is a bitch baby. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central, Armed Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime I'm on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Two