TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month

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As you should know. March is Women's History.

Months, the month, that's right, the month when all historic female heroes drink for free. So long on this we're joined by our senior gender issues correspondent, Daisi Lightech. Everybody, what does Women's History Month mean to you?

Well, Trevor, During this month, I like to celebrate the stories of impressive women that have been overlooked. It's not history, it's history. Took me forever to come.

Up with that, you know, DESI, I honestly, I've learned so much already this month about women who have done great things in history.

Okay, yeah, you see, everyone pays attention to the women who did great things, but no one speaks about women who did bad things. For example, everyone's heard of Benedict Arnold, right, he was the general who betrayed America during the Revolution, the greatest treason in our history up until Tristan Thompson. But you probably haven't heard of Benedict's wife, Peggy ship and Arnold. Now, she was actually the one who encouraged him to turn on America and helped plan his treason

Trust me, I don't even know what that means, but that is really fascinating.

Deasy, I had no idea about the role that she played. Oh of course she didn't, You're a man. I didn't know either. I saw it on a Snapple cap at lunch today.

Cap.

Yeah, here's another one. We all know who. Alexander the Great was, the ruthless king, bloodthirsty conqueror, sideburns aficionado. But he only got to do all of that because of a woman, his mom, Queen olymp She wanted her son to be king so bad she had her husband and his other wife assassinated. She schemed so her child could have a better life like a Macedonian aunt. Becky. You know, actually Olympias inspired me to break into my son's school

King, DESI.

You can't break into a school and vandalize children's homework.

Oh wow, Trevor, you're gonna tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body.

Wait, no, no, no, no, what you did was a crime.

Well you know, you know what else used to be a crime, women voting? Huh right, ladies. Yeah, but you know what, I'm glad you brought up crime because women can do that too. People always talk about machine Gun Kelly, one of the most notorile US gangsters during Prohibition, but nobody's ever heard of his wife, Catherine Kelly. She helped him scheme, she helped plan his kidnappings. She even gave him the gun he was named after, you know, before her everyone called him fingerguns Kelly.

Wow, this is really fascinating.

You opening my eyes.

Like, even when it comes to bad things, we tend to erase the contributions of women from history.

Yeah, and it's still happening today. Just look at Facebook fake news scandals helping Russia spread propaganda. They even sold all Heir Dick pics to Steve Bannon. And every time something goes wrong people blame Mark Zuckerberg, But there's Coo. Sheryl Sandberg deserves just as much credit. Everyone's dragging his name through the mud. I am so sick of people refusing to say something bad about women on the internet.

DESI it it almost sounds like you admire these bad women.

I admire all women, but there is one woman I admire above all. She is my number one evil heroin. I mean, I guess heroin's the number one evil heroin, but this lady comes close, Trevor. When you think of pirates, you think of Blackbeard, Captain Kid or whoever's the captain now. But the most successful pirate of all time was actually a woman, Jung Yi Sao. In the eighteen hundred. She had eighty thousand sailors fifteen hundred ships. It took more

Don't say sloan, everybody, don't say hello, Happy Women's History Months.

Happy It would be happy if you got me a.

Gift, Well, another one. I just got you a gift for Black History Months?

Yeah, because I'm black in February and in March I'm a woman.

Oh no, but that's not fair.

Okay, So then when do I get a gift in April?

Because you're a fool anyway, Trevor, have you ever wondered why women don't get the historic credit they deserve?

The sexism statues?

Trevor, women don't have as many statues as men. In fact, nationwide, only eight percent of outdoor statues are of women.

Wow, how did you know that statistic?

I drink Snapper, I read what Internet come on dot, and I've seen it for myself. I was walking through Central Park the other day under duress, and I saw our statues of Alexander Hamilton, Christopher Columbus, William Shakespeare, all famous men from history. When it comes to women, there's only two statues in Central Park, Alice in Wonderland and.

Mother Goose, which makes no damn sense.

Alice is just a white girl who took Molly, And why does Mother Goose get a statue?

All she did was for a ghost.

I don't think that's right.

Fine, she made love to No, that's what okay?

Anyway, Do'll say, I'm lost.

How does having more statues.

Help, because trevor statues help us remember history when you walk past the statue and you're like, oh, yeah, MLK did have a dream. Thomas Jefferson was a complicated individual. And when you don't honor women the same way you honor men, you're leaving them out of history.

That's true. Well, at least at least women have the Statue of Liberty. That's one of the most famous statues in the world.

That didn't count.

We needn't statues of real women, not some giant French bitch holding ice cream. Now, someone like Tony Morrison, the first black woman to win the Nobel Prize for literature, or someone like Francis Perkins, the first woman appointed to a presidential cabinet, or someone like Beyoncet the first woman to be Beyonceet. Why doesn't she have a statue? I mean she's already standing like a statue.

She just read it.

This is actually a great idea, But I hope you understand building thousands of statues of women is going to be difficult. I mean, statues are expensive. You know, this is gonna be a project that's gonna take a lot of time.

I've already done, at Trevor, what I've designed one statue to symbolize all women, their power, their beauty, their mystique, a flawless avatar of womanhood that anyone can look at and see themselves.

Don't say that that's a statue of.

You, Oh, Trevor, I'm touched that you can see me in that art.

No, it's literally you.

It has your name on it, you know.

So why are you holding a baby?

You don't have kids.

That baby symbolizes America, okay, which women have been carrying for for Joe wah. Now I'm kidding it is Elvis baby. Because that's some history I want to make everybody.

I know a lot of men might think women's history doesn't affect them, but it turns out women throughout history have invented some of men's favorite things. For example, Trevor, what's the number one thing that men can't live without? I'll give you a hint. It starts with the bee you whip them out during spring break.

Boos beer yeah, beah no, no.

Boobs is a brand of South African beer that's.

Okay. Well beer is a five hundred and thirty billion dollar industry, mostly thanks to men, and who can blame them for loving beer with all those macho ads full of sexy women desperate to have sexy sex. Ooh, Grandpa, your social Security check.

Is so big.

But it turns out Mesopotamian women were the ones who invented this man juice. Wait, sorry, nope, that doesn't sound right. This man fluid. Yeah, that's better, but it's true. Seven thousand years ago, beer was considered a gift from a goddess and only women were entrusted with making it, which is why I no longer pay for beer when I go out. You know, instead of signing my bar tab, I just write you're welcome.

That's actually a really cool thing. I mean, not you stealing drinks, but the invention of beer.

Yeah no, And that's not all. A woman helped create. One of the things men think they can do when they're drunk. Kung fu. Society has always told us that it's meant for men, you know and pandas, But guess what. Bruce Lee, the most famous kung fuer of all time, got his whole style of kung fu from a woman. In the seventeen hundreds, Anne By the name of Ing Moy developed her method after teaching a female student how

That's yeah, that's so amazing. Wow, I.

Didn't know all of these things women's history mok, Like I didn't know that a nun helped invent kung fu.

Well, I mean, it's not that crazy. Nuns are badass. Remember that nun in the nineties who took down one Areno's biggest mobsters, and she still had time to teach acquires some motown classics.

Isn't Isn't that Sister Act?

Yeah, it's my favorite documentary. And speaking of fighting, it was this woman, Lisa Meitner, who discovered nuclear fission.

I'm sorry, nuclear fission?

What is that?

Oh my god? Seriously, Trevor, you don't know what nuclear fission is. I mean everyone knows it's when you fission the nuclear you know, whatever. The point is. Her discovery of nuclear fission became the basis for all nuclear weapons. So without her, there are no nuclear bombs, and without nuclear bombs, world leaders would have no way of proving

Doesn't let it everyone?

Hello, friends, Today is February twenty ninth, which is Leap Day and Black Women's History Day. And if you don't know that, it's because I just made it up. Why Because the rest of February is taken. Doctor King gets two weeks, the presidents get a three day weekend, and they even give a day to.

A ground hall. What the hell is a grown hole?

That's not?

Like?

Is that even a real animal? Are we sure isn't just a big ass guinea pig with a good publicist. So I'm playing in February. So I'm playing in February twenty ninety for us. Yeah, why only one day every four years? Because you account for you know, the wage gap and your mom and m you know the math works out. Okay, trust me, I carried the four and everything. But the day is almost over. So let's celebrate some black women as fast as we can. Okay, throw a clock on the screen.

Wait, No, that that looks like a shot clock?

Is that the NBA?

Now make it historical?

Is that a cuckoo cloak? Are you trying to say black women are crazy? But nerve the unmiptal gate of gol Okay, just put up any clock?

Oh hesus? Okay?

I like her. She's black and she looks like she don't take no shit from nobody. Okay, let's celebrate some black women.

Start the clock.

Okay.

Shirley Chisholm, incredible congresswoman, chosen her way into history by being the first black woman to run for president for a major party in nineteen seventy two. She spent fourteen years in Congress representing Brooklyn, and I mean.

Brooklyn Brooklyn, Spike Lee Brooklyn, not Lena Dunham Brooklang. If you thought Biggie had a tough time making money, imagine going door to door in bedsty asking for campaign contributions, donations, raise money, donationus, raise money.

Y'all was off beating all right? Listen next, doctor Shirley Jackson. Ooh, another Shurlee, the first black woman to earn a doctorate from MIT. She helped innovate touchtone phones, portable fax machines and caller ID. She's the only reason long distance relationships work. So every time you use your phone, poor little WiFi out for your girl, Shirley.

Next up, Missy Elliott.

For proving that black women can make a hit song while singing forwards and backwards. It's your finn of whipping you in and yet is how you say it?

Missy?

We salute you, You salute we Missy. See that's backwards. Okay, look at your girl all right? Next okay, we got aunt seeing the White House. Guess Man's Kamala had first female VP and one bad bike ride away from being president. Listen, I'm just saying, if Huffy Bikes really wanted a female president. Losing some chains at the factory, y'all can make history.

Howpus as out? Come on?

Next, May Jamison, the first black woman in space.

In nineteen ninety two. What took so long?

And that makes sense because in the nineties black people were doing whatever they could to get the farthest away from the LAPD.

So you saying I could go.

To outer space while these cops stay on Earth. Oh, I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take it. Come on, come on, let's go the little coat. And the most amazing thing is that she came back. That's never guarantee, but girl, wow, there's a black woman on family matters that went upstairs and never came back down again. Next, Liza Leslie, a basketball legend who was the first woman to dunk in the NBA. That's right, she could dunk, which is way more impressive because when women do it,

Ooh out hai in your face deckling.

Next, hey's my mommy.

Have everybody look at my mama.

She's out there every day giving, serving, loving, and I mean literal mother me literally mothering, and you know she made me.

You're welcot you know that's not that I'm surprise.

I'll be able to covet at means people. That's okay.

You know we can celebrate even more black women than twenty twenty.

Eight, So.

That's not gonna be earth. Then duel, say sloan. Everybody.

Being a woman can cost you, apparently an average of fourteen hundred dollars a year thanks to gender price discrimination.

If you're a woman, just about everything cost you more than similar products marketed for men.

It's called the pink tax. I needed to investigate by testing some products, but I wasn't going to fall victim to price discrimination by actually paying for them. Two razors, one blue, one cake otherwise identical. Does the pink one give a silkier shave? Only one way to find out what? I'm a full time working mom. What do you.

Expect exactly the same?

Could this be an isolated case? I continued my investigation. We need a patriarchy cleanup. In Aisle thirteen, two painkillers, one marketed for lady cramps. Question is which is more effective? Just as I thought, same active ingredient.

This is bullshit.

Why do products cost more for women than men?

Well, classic marketing strategies what they call shrinket and pinket.

Oh yeah, I have that surgery.

That's not what we're talking about in this case. What we're saying is the company will take the basic version they made for everyone and then market that towards women. They'll make it small, they'll make it pink. Yeah, same thing, basic economics, one on one. It goes right to their bottom line.

Yeah, I mean, that's the whole point of the surgery, went to my bottom line. But there's one lawmaker, Congresswoman Jackie Spear, who's been fighting gender discrimination for over twenty years.

Get rid of the gender tax. Women on the average pay five dollars more for a haircut than as a man.

They should be paying you to get those haircuts. But that's not the point.

The pink tax is a insidious institution in America. And mind you, women are still making eighty cents for every dollar earned by a man to do the same job. And if you're a woman of color, you're making even less money.

I ran the numbers. An overcharge plus underpaid equals the square root of what the.

So unfair.

It's like when someone has blue eyes, everyone falls in love with them, but you get pink I once and suddenly you're kicked out of your neighbor's hot tub.

It's three o'clock in the morning. What are they going to use it for.

Aren't just getting discriminated against with goods, but with services as.

Well, haircuts, tailoring, dry cleaning.

Research is shown women pay more than men forty two percent of the time. In fact, a recent study shows it starts from the time you were born until the day you die, as displayed, and some of these products we have with us today in a game we call thirty four dollars two forty four dollars. Oh great, So while your little girl is learning how to walk, she'll also learn how to navigate the system that's exploiting her.

Sorry, these are two children's snorkels.

Eight eighty four sixteen twenty two for the pink. So women literally have to pay more to breathe.

Sorry, twenty eight women's diapers for fifteen ninety eight, but the men get thirty two diapers for the same amount of money.

This is why I stop pooping.

And just like me, this system is full of shit. How can women afford to live in this world?

If the man's version is cheaper, then just buy that one.

Yeah, sure, if you think about it, It's just one extra step and a series of extra steps that women take every day to thrive in a man's world, Like how we get up a little extra early every morning to put on an outfit that looks professional yet accessible, but not too accessible because we don't want to be taken advantage of, Or how we walk an extra five blocks to work so that we can avoid the construction zone.

Yes, there are several.

Sure, it costs less, maybe a little. There's got to be a better solution.

Introducing the Pink Tax Repeel Act. We have got to get the federal government to protect women from this gross discrimination.

That's right. Spear is ready to give the Pink tax and blue balls. But why stop there?

I think there has to be an outrage. Women should say, why is this more? This is discrimination. I'm going to call corporate got.

It be outraged, make our voices heard, taken into our own hands. Until the repeal the Pink Tax Act gets passed, I'm going to make up for all the shit we've already paid for with the help of my little pink friend. It's perfect giving women their money back one item at a time. We'll call it Deasy's Dick Tax. Strong enough for a man, but Christ.

Just for her.

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