You're listening to Comedy Central. Pink hearts, yellow moons, green clovers, two black eyes, and a nasty hangover. Today is Saint Patti's Day, and all over the country thousands of Angela's asses hit the streets to celebrate, making it a great day for the Irish, but just an okay day if you were looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read or have a white wine spritzer. Here in New York, paradegoers showed their true colors.
See packed his day there, He's our heritage.
We've got to be here to.
See his parade in and respect the other people that are Iris.
You know what I say. Some people just command respect for their people, don't they. But not everyone celebrates the same way. Meet Lucy McLaughlin, and Irish woman living in New Zengland. Lucy's stupid for her Saint Patti's celebration, This plucky Irish lass had someone paint her plucky Irish ass and then she jumped off a bridge. Lucy came up with the idea after her mother got upset with her
for partying with friends one night instead of her. And if your friends painted themselves green and jumped off a bridge, naked. Would you do that too, Lucy, Lucy, you've got some splaining to do.
That was amazing. I'll remember it forever.
She then reportedly added, which is a miracle, because after fifteen years of binge drinking, I don't remember much of anything. Here Lucy explains how she built up the nerve to jump.
No, we had a quick little drink before. It's just for a bit of Dutch courage.
She then reportedly added, and another few drinks after for a bit of Greek love. And that was headlines, Big Green ass. As we just reported, today, New York City celebrate Saint Patrick's Day with its traditional parade. Our own Dvance Degenerous is their live as we speak, and he'll tell us that behind this parade is a rich Irish culture celebrating centuries of accomplishments and contributions to the tapestry that is America. It's not just one drunken mob scene.
There's more to it than that. Vance.
That's right, John, It's one big drunken mob scene and there's not much more to it than that.
John, Well, Dvance, how's the parade going so far?
Great?
Great John? I excited about eleven o'clock this morning. Traditional
participants include Irish folk bands, local labor unions. In a tip of the hat to Saint Patrick driving the stakes out of Ireland, May and Giuliani at a contingent of New York's finist will use the parade to drive minorities out of Manhattan, and John I should mention that even hard for New Yorkers really seem to be enjoying them all today, soaking up the sunshine and using the point as a distraction to fondle and pled drugs on unsuspecting tourists.
And later in the day the revelers will wind their way through the streets of Manhattan, eventually ending up in Northern Manhattan, where the traditional meeting in the Protestants Vans act.
See as in past years, the parade has ban gaze from marching. Is there any backlash to that backlash?
I don't know where you're getting your information from, John, because I don't think it could be any gayer men openly marching in skirts, sucking on large pipes attached to Harry Sachs. Of course, we all know that Cardinal Tutter did approve the ban on gays in defferench to Saint Patrick who by the way, changed his name from Mainland, took it upon entering the priest too. It tradition continued by priests to this very day, mainly to avoid the hassles of Megan's law Sick.
Thank you very much Van's excellent reporting. Please drive safely and remember to take your hand out of your ear. The nation celebrates Saint Patrick's Day. Sawdust and Lyesow manufacturers
celebrate day after Saint Patrick's Day. Saturday was Saint Patrick's Day, and throughout the land, proud Irish Americans poured into one of three million bars named the Blarney Stone to drink green beer and to pretend Van Morrison's Moondance takes them back to the hills of Old dunkkil Garney, dairy Doneth, Berdeen, no glennor all in all, it was a day celebrated with parades, parties in the traditional war and of the
green for the traditional camouflage of the vomit. New York's parade, the country's largest, featured all the fixens, how pleasing to the delight of those gathered. The bagpipe ensemble later took request to play their other song, which is actually that song, just faster this year's parade once again excluded Irish American gays and lesbians, and once again they were not pleased about it. Wish we're queer and you we're Irish. We're
queer and so are some of you. All right, may not rhyme, but a quick note to the protesters next year, come up with the chant before the pub crawl. I m. After the parade, many in the group made their way to the city's only gay Irish pub, Fisty mccramdon hands. It's uh, there's old fifty and of course again cowboys drink free. And in Washington, President Bush met with Irish Prime Minister Bertie and Herne to discuss the peace process.
As the British and Irish governments and the political parties now work together the complete the implementation of the Good Friday Agreement. It is good to be able to count on true friends.
Her And then turned to Bush and said, and of course a true friend wouldn't keep trying to get me to say they're magically delicious. I really appreciate that award A reason Pole A reason Pole found that while most Irish Americans know that Saint Patrick was the patron state of parades, few were aware how his parade has become the subject of great controversy. Morocco reports on how sometimes the luck of the Irish isn't enough.
Everyone is Irish on Saint Patrick's Day, but Brendan Faye wants to ruin everyone's good time.
What I want is for Irish lesbian gay people to march in the Saint Patrick's Parade under our own banner.
But you're gay. Your parade is in the summer. Well, I'm Irish and gay. But that's impossible. According to Reverend Lou Sheldon of the Traditional Values Coalition, the.
Irish people are not homosexuals, and.
He wants to protect the heterosexual march that is the Saint Patrick's Day Parade.
The homosexuals want to rain on the Saint Patrick's Day parade.
The Reverend has valid reason for concern.
They do mouth to mouth, tongue to tongue kissing, They grab each other in the rectum and in the private parts of the front.
These gay antics could ruin the Saint Patrick's Day parade. Described for me, the Saint Patrick's Day Parade very.
Majestic, very glorious, very religious, and a lot of dignity.
How can you be trusted not to turn to Saint Patrick's Day parade gay? I mean, look what you did to the gay Pride parade. Well it is a gay parade. Yeah, after you people got hold of it. When it comes to the parade controversy, Reverend Sheldon has science on his side.
What homosexuals say that.
Leprechauns could be gay, There is no scientific basis for that.
So your research has shown that leprecauns are heterosexual. Of course, a leprechaun is defined as a tiny, prancing cobbler with a penchant for gold. Where's the gay in that? I don't see any The prancing part is that a little bit gary.
No, No, A lot of people like the prance.
But what does mean something is protecting his heritage. As an Irish Catholic, you feel offended. I'm a Presbyterian, so as an Irish Presbyterian, you feel offended.
My father was English, so my mother was an Orthodox Jew.
So as an English Presbyterian Orthodox Jew, you feel very pretty detective of the Saint Patrick's Day parade. That's right. The point is a fake conspiracy is a foot today the Irish parade. Tomorrow, the Irish.
Anybody they can land in their court they're going to use.
They might go after Liam Neeson. They certainly might go after Liam Neeson. You two, They may go after YouTube. They could even go after Rosi O'Donnell.
They already have ros O Donald.
She's already gay. They got her Rose o'dnald has a huge crush on Tom Cruise. Those gays are unstoppable. And if they got Rosie, no one is safe. They might even get the Lord of the Dance.
Morocco Sell Well after done? Now do you think do you think that the Saint Patricks Day Parade will change if gay people marching it?
Not really, John, Let's face it, a parade is inherently gay. I mean, think about it. A crowd of singers and a gaggle of dancers perch the top floats, brightly painted paper mache.
No, not all parades. I mean what about military parades?
John, Come on, uniforms, boots, chaps, it's even gayer.
Chaps. What branch are the military where it's chaps?
Well, the cavalry, John, mounted privates? I mean, I mean, how gay do you want it?
Thank you? Mo Moraka. We'll be right back. As we know our streets are boiling over in anger at these AIG bonus payments. John Oliver joins us now with more. John, we had you out there, We had you out there talking to the people. What was the atmosphere like, how are people feeling well?
John would be a journalist first, but I'm a person second, And what I saw this afternoon was a nation in pain. Roll it chuck.
The AIG bonus.
Payments have sparked the populist uprising. People have been here since eight in the morning, stealing in their own anger AIG b They were here to send a very clear message to Washington.
The economy stuck. But yeah, the economy.
One hundred and sixty five million in bonuses just things morally reprehensible.
They're the Bank of America, clearly the government.
The government doesn't run the bank. The government doesn't run the bank.
Watching think to the argument that AIG is simply too victor fail angry and the bonus stings, angry at the payouts.
They want to be hurt.
This woman is got pressed up against my arm in.
An uncomfortable manner.
Some were simply too angry for words, and that's the end of the year, while others were inappropriately articulate.
It's because it's a coupling of performance from pay, which creates a series of perverse incentives that have been very much undermining the credibility.
And the AIG controversy was just one of the scandals which brought people into the.
Streets made of stewing j E g.
Chat chats.
In the hour and a half that I've been here, John, I've seen people passing out at anger, throwing up in anger, piercing up against the sign of buildings in anger. All these people, John, working at investment banks just eight weeks ago. Now, how there's a protests that's right angry by Hey Won jumps back? Like what that jumps back?
Are you positive that that was a popular product?
Because it appeared that you might have been at the Saint Patrick's.
Day parade, John, none of us can be one hundred percent sure where I was. But there is one important thing I learned today.
What would that be, Joe, j G, Jux, Juch Dutch, Don.
Over everybody, Don Oliver, We'll be right back after that.
For why.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day?
Everybody?
Yeah, Yeah, I have to be honest, I don't really know much about Saint Patrick. But judging by the way people honor him, his most famous miracle must have been turning nine pints of beer into ten pints of vomits.
Ah.
Apparently, apparently this is supposed to be a religious holiday. Now I'm no biblical scholar, but I don't remember Jesus telling his followers to commit literally every sin possible until their bodies shut off.
That's not something I remember.
Look, obviously, the truth is Saint Patrick's Day isn't very big in Africa. Like, you know, you're not going to get a Nigerian guy who's like ah today, everyone is Irish in America.
Though.
In America, though a lot of people don't know this, black people are the whole reason Saint Patrick's Day happens, you see, because by not participating, you can have six million drunk white people screaming on the streets. Yeah, but if one black guy showed up, one black the comps would be like, okay, shut it down, shut it down, shut it down.
It's a riot.
It's a riot.
You're welcome. You're welcome. White people, enjoy it.
Happy Sat Patrick's Day for tomorrow, everybody. It's gonna be exciting. I believe the parade is back on exciting times. You know, it's gonna be fun. This year is seeing some of the people who still want to wear a mask but want to be a part of a parade, which is completely fine. Some people still want to wear masks certain things,
but they're gonna do it. It's gonna be interesting to see how masks handle it when you throw up inside of them, because we've done everything with our masks, but this is gonna be a great new thing to see how it works. You know, just like inside the mosque, it might actually help because a lot of the time the throwing up. The thing that makes it terrible is that it goes out. A lot of the time. I've thought, ah, I didn't want.
This to go out.
I just could have kept it in. I'm back for calling you.
We're gonna check you with hundred time. Stephen Gobar to go bear before Stephen.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day to you boy, sure and becore of my friend. How are you John?
Wow? Didn't even know that was in the US.
Well done, Seamus Colbert, Thank you very much. I'm excited for another's Saint Patrick's Day and then obviously the Passover parade for my people.
Absolutely, yes, yes, yes, now they they hurled, They hurled frogs.
And locust statue. WHI are exactly here's what happens. We all drink Mani Chevitz get in a line in march. Actually it's not really a parade form an exodus. Yeah, that was the original. It was a great prit.
Now here it is your moments of zen herning to you.
We've got more weather and then after that, somenooze top of the morning to you.
Top of the Glisard conditions, back through.
Why wold he shot up to you?
I didn't know you spoke Irish.
Thank you very much, ash.
Leo Suddon and we'll be seeing you at eleven.
Join us of the Arish Dutch forgot going with you this afternoon.
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