TDS Time Machine | Easter

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Yew. Well, let's begin tonight with the weekends festivities. A big weekend for what we call Judeo Christians, two major religious festivals at the same time, and President Obama celebrated both of them, and what I believe is an attempt to convince me VILLI is a Muslim.

Nice try, Nice try.

Yesterday, of course, was Easter, which, along with Good Friday, commemorates the death and resurrection of Christ. And this morning the White House celebrated in the manner prescribed by scripture.

In just about a half hour, are they going to start the one hundred and thirty fourth annual White House Easter egg roll? These are some of our friends here, the power Rangers out on the chipmunks, Wobblewobsie penguins.

Can they has been trying to get on camera the entire time that.

Here are the eggs, eggs.

The eggs are here right now.

We've got some Harlem globetrotters.

It's great holiday for people who gave up LSD for lent. You see all them too, right, Actually this scene is true to biblical scholarship. I remember these characters from the Last Supper if I'm.

Not mistaken, that was.

One of you will betray me, all men, So the White House.

Pulls out all the stops for Easter. Passover is the same weekend.

Bring it.

I'd like to wish a happy holiday to all those celebrating Passover. Led by Jewish members of my staff, will retell the story of the Exodus, listen to our youngest guests, ask the four questions, and of course look forward to a good bowl of mantza ballsuit.

That's it. That's what Jews get.

You get a huge shindig on the White House lawn for Easter with every children's character that has ever been invented, including this guy. Who is this guy Captain Planet? Oh what's his super? That way, he's Captain Planet.

Hey kids.

My selling point for my people is we're gonna have soup. It's the Avengers versus the Jewish members of my staff. Hey, kids, who wants to meet Debbie Wasserman Schultz?

Where's everybody going? Look? And I get it.

I don't want to say Satyrs are boring, but this isn't a photo we're showing.

It's video.

Allow me to get personal for just a moment, as a father of mixed faith children who are exposed to both Christian and Jewish holidays.

I can't help but.

Feel that we Jews are getting our asses kicked out here. In fact, you know what, Jews Camera three.

What are we doing? We've already conceded defeat in the.

Christmas v Honikah kerfuffle, seeing that the Christians are celebrating the birth of their savior, and Honkkah is acknowledging oil lasting longer than it would normally last. And to be honest with the truth be told, there really is no gauge. I mean, how much oil was in There could have.

Been eight days worth of oil. We don't really know.

I mean it could have been a very suitable amount of oil to Burford. It's not the point.

It's not the point.

The point is this, there's no contest there, Honika Christmas, no contest, But we can't afford to lose this one too. The key is the children, people, That's what Christians have figured out. You get the children, you win. Let's check out both sides. Holiday pitch okay, kids. Easter Weekend is an observation of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection. So boom bam boom, bam.

A bathroom with candy.

We got chocolate bunnies, We got candy eggs. We got choucolate bunnies who lay candy eggs.

Fill with more chocolate.

How are Christians the one that came up with plastic grass? By the way, we're the ones with hay fever. But all right, it's cool. It's cool. Jews, what do we got? Well, we're celebrating our freedom from slavery, so.

Book bawl, let my people not.

We're gonna gone with a freedom themes festival, or instead we chose to focus on the slavery part of the dinner. Hey, five year olds, basket filled with candy and jelly beans or horseradish still in root form? Would you like the treats a magical bunny brought you?

Or a bone from a dead baby?

Lamb, don't worry, we used its blood to mark the door.

Oh which egg? Am I going to go for?

The one filled with chocolate or the one filled with egg? Because it's an actual an egg, because that's what slaves ate.

Taste it? Oh wait, before you eat it, make sure you dip it in saltwater.

It represents the tears of your ancestors. Oh good, I see you're making more. We gotta take it up a notch.

They're crushing us.

I'm not saying we lose our traditions. We gotta adapt it. With a slight nod towards recruitment. I'm gonna say, we gotta go Jehovah's witness on this thing.

But what's wrong with bringing a little zazz thinging outside the box.

We've got a great story here, Moses parting.

The Red Seas. How have we not turned that into a water park? Oh wait, I'll see you over.

At the Red Sea ride when I'm done building ice cream pyramids.

We gotta do something.

Did you see who the Christians booked this year as their special guest.

Star on this Easter Sunday, a familiar phase helping to deliver the Sunday sermon, quarterback Tim Tebow.

They got tamo.

Tim Tebow, superstar NFL quarterback helping them celebrate Easter hesdrawing like twenty thousand people to Texas.

Who do we have same guests every year? Elijah?

They can't be bothering to go off. Obviously, it would be great if we also could get a superstar Jewish quarterback to deliver the pass over story. But my guess is a superstar Jewish quarterback is around the same likelihood as Elijah showing up.

But let's at least compete with the.

Make believe Easter bunny ladies and gentlemen. I give you passover Pete the guitar playing pizza eating lion. What hey, kids, Hey, kids, have your passover pizza?

Why?

Now, I know technically you're not allowed to eat pizza during passion, But technically lions don't play guitars, and quite frankly, monies don't deliver eggs. So let's just say we should spend a little display when the kids turned thirteen with tell the real story.

So Jews, we got to step it up a bit.

If you'll excuse me, I'll be playing the latest title in my hot new Jewish video game, Passover Line red See Redemption, Go Wandering. It's a first person exodusr where kids can experience all the excitement of being lost in the desert for forty years?

What should do?

Right?

Money, ask for direction? Man, you know where you're going again?

Only thirty eight more years to go. We'll be right back.

President Bush and his wife Laura were able to escape their political problems. Yesterday, at the White House's traditional Easter celebration, complete with adorable kids, fun egg related games, and my God, behind you in the rabbits look out, look.

Out for the rat.

Oh I thought those were giant killer bunnies.

The first Lady kicked off the festivities in Washington.

We know that spring has arrived when the White House lawn is filled with children for the Easter egg.

Hunt, and summer in Washington is heralded by the vile, sulfurous.

Stench of the unfound eggs.

Fall.

Fall, of course, brings the low gusts, the terrible, terrible locusts, which give way to the icy death grip of winter.

Mantis on.

Her remarks were interesting, but not as interesting as what the bunny was saying behind her.

I think we also have that audio in Washington.

We know that spring is a ride. Wrap it up, lady, it's not as hell.

And this thing and I got to open a chuck e cheese in a half hour.

Oh so, and an innocent, an innocent ritual, a blessed respite from politics or not. This year, an organized group of gay and lesbian parents lined up early for tickets because the event is traditionally.

First come, first served, but not so this year.

Only VIPs and Katrina victims were allowed in. During the morning session that the President was at, the gay and lesbian families were greeted by a different group. These fine Christian soldiers who enjoyed a traditional Easter gay yell that ain't right.

Ain't okay to be gay?

Okay, how about that isn't right. It isn't okay to be I'm sorry, I'm a stickler for grammatically correct hate.

Now.

White House correspondent Samantha Bee attended the Easter egg roll.

She joins us.

Now, Samantha, I get that the president considers himself a social conservative, but he meets with the children of Katrina victims and says he just couldn't be there for the gay families.

He couldn't have met with them. Well, why is that?

Well he wanted to John, I mean, there's nothing he would have liked more than meeting with these gay parents in there soon to be gay children. But Katrina victims get priority. It's only fit he did help ruin their lives. The least he and Laura could do is let them keep the commemorative T shirts than you this is so much better than having a home.

Sam.

The Katrina issue aside.

It seems like to an outside observer that the president purposely didn't meet with the gay families and denied them entrance while he was there and only let them come in after he left.

Well, look, John, I mean there is a sense in many parts of this country that the Easter egg hunt is.

A sacred institution and should.

Be defined by one mother, one father, a kid, and a spoon.

Bible.

Bible is very clear in this John, in the Garden of Eden, the Lord hid eggs for Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

Sam. The Garden of Eden is the Genesis story.

Easter and Jesus Resurrection is the New Testament.

Okay, you're splitting hairs.

John points, God doesn't want gays finding eggs. I don't know how many more ways he can say it.

Sam, I don't think that God did say that.

Okay, Well, it's a slippery slope. John. Once you let gaze into the Easter egg hunt, they'll want to be there for the Turkey pardoning, and they'll be at the White House Manora lighting. And do you really want to live in a country where gays get in to see that thing they do for the Jews around Christmas. Frankly, I'd rather be dead, Sam, Yeah.

I really think you're taking this a little too far.

Okay, let me make it simple, John, For one hundred and thirty years, children in frilly dresses have bent over to push pastel colored eggs with dainty spoons across an impeccably manicured lawn. Be ashamed to see that tradition be gade, John.

Thank you very much, Samantha. Samantha B. We'll be right back.

Happy Pasova and Happy Easter everybody.

Yeah, I hope you enjoyed it.

Did you have a good one? Did you enjoy it?

Yeah, spend some time with the family. Easter is one of my favorite holidays because I gotta get to chew with the family.

We get to eat.

You know, remember how Jesus died for our sins and then came back as a giant rabbit who lays chocolate eggs. I haven't been to church in a while anyway, Happy East everyone, Let's catch up on today's headlines. Easter. It's an important holiday for any devout Christian and also for President Trump, who celebrates it today at the annual White House Easter Egg roll.

President Trump standing by at sixteen hundred Pennsylvania for that Easter egg role. At this moment, they're singing the national anthem President Trump, flanked by the First Lady and the Easter Bunny himself or herself.

Perhaps, Oh, I don't another anchor said himself or herself. Perhaps, Yeah, I still can't confirm if this mythical creature has a vagina or not.

Not that sex is defined by genitorium.

More on that at the top of the hour. Honestly, like, this is one of those moments where I'm like, American traditions never quite make sense to me, Like we're all just supposed to pretend that ridiculous creature belongs at the White House standing next to the Easter Bunny.

I mean, sorry, I couldn't help it.

I couldn't help it.

I couldn't help it.

Also, Americans sing the national anthem at the strangest times.

Like I get it at sports, I get it completely, But standing next to the Easter Bunny, that's where you're like, we need to honor this moment with a meaningful display of patriotism.

Bunny, put your hilarious giant club over your heart.

This past Sunday was Easter at the White House, which is an important holiday for President Joe Biden, who is also counting on a resurrection for his campaign. But unfortunately this year, the timing of Easter caused a bit of a headache for Joe.

The Biden administration is firing back at conservative criticism over the White House acknowledgment of the Transgender Day of Visibility, which coincidentally falls on Easter Sunday this year.

The two days only coincided by chance.

The Day of Visibility is held every year on March thirty first, while the date for Easter changes year to year.

Yes, by total coincidence, Transvisibility Day happened to fall on Easter this year, which seemed like, I don't know a good fit to me. I mean, Jesus did identify as the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Live your truth, Queen. Now, you wouldn't think.

That Easter falling on a holiday that's been on March thirty first for fifteen years would be that big of a deal. But conservatives process this like a child meeting the Easter bunny by losing their minds.

I think everyone should be insulted by this. The intentional nature of this to me is I mean, I'm just going to say it.

I think it's a demonic.

They clearly want us to bow at the altar of the trans community instead of bow to God.

We can't have one day for Easter.

What the hell was Biden thinking when he declared Easter Sunday to be Transvisibility Day. Such total disrespect to Christians. And November fifth is going.

To be called something else.

You know, it's going to be called Christian Visibility Day when Christians turn out at numbers that nobody has ever seen before.

This is America, buddy, Every day is Christian visibility there.

Yeah, Conservatives threw.

A hissy fit over this, including Donald Trump, who, by the way, is not exactly an authority on Christianity.

I'm wondering what one or two of your most favored Bible verses are.

I wouldn't want to get into it because to me, that's very personal.

You don't want to talk about the Bible.

It's very personal, So I don't.

Want to get into I don't want to get into.

Means a lot to you that you think about her site the.

Bible means a lot to me.

But I don't want to get into specifics. The Old Testament guy, or do Testament probably equal?

Trump talks about Christianity the way I sounded every book club. Oh my favorite part of the book.

I'd have to.

Say the title and the symbolism, all the symbols. Definitely not hiding for my husband and children. I also love that he says I can't talk about it, it's too personal. Like he also has an nda with the Bible. Don't believe that horse faced Bible. But that's my Trump impression.

Thank you. I'll work chop it op it.

Trump beside, I have a question for the actual religious conservatives, why are you so upset about this transvisibility Day had no effect on your Easter? Nobody was at church, like, well, we were going to celebrate the resurrection, but instead everyone line up for your gender reassignment surgery. Please leave your

The transgender community purposely chooses the day of Jesus's death. There is resurrection whatever Easter weekend, Yeah.

You know Easter.

It was Jesus' King Senia or the day he was forced to leave the Big brother House.

Whatever.

But I'll ask him about it the next time I go to the You know what's the place with all the lowercase teas.

Hanging on the wall that sent half makeing at church, Church that fit church?

And you know what, the Fox audience deserves a higher level of con artistry.

Than this, Jesse Waters.

If you can remember the Green Eminem's entire sexual history, you can Wikipedia what Easter is. Look, I'm not here to pick a fight with Easter. Easter's great, probably our best holiday, featuring a bunny who crawled out of a nightmare. But the level of outrage over this is totally out of proportion to what ultimately was an innocuous scheduling conflict. I just I wish I knew the real reason they were upset. Luckily they left us some Easter eggs.

It's absurd and Joe Biden should be ashamed of himself. And all these people say, yeah, but this is the day we've always recognized and gender visibility Day, Well recognize it another day, not on Easter Sunday. It's an affront to the Bible and quite Frankly, it's an affront to biology. There are two genders. People can't just go in and out of one like a revolving door. It's not normal.

Ah, there it is.

Thank you least interesting man in the world for saying the quiet part out loud. They don't think Transgender Visibility Day should be moved. They think trans people shouldn't be visible at all. Trans Day of Visibility could have been on National Pastaday and they'd be like, this is an.

Affront to Feticini.

And for what it's worth, there's a false premise at the heart of this entire controversy, which is that there's even a conflict between trans people and Christianity to begin with, there isn't. In fact, the Bible doesn't say anything about trans people. It does, however, say to love thy neighbor and to not judge other people, and perhaps the most famous of Bible versus, please do not sell me for fifty nine to ninety nine.

You came off your label, I know.

For more on the controversy, we go Live to the White House with Michael Costa. Michael, you were at the White House Easter egg hunt on Monday.

What did you find?

Well, I'll tell you what I found, Desie a ton of Easter eggs.

Okay, it turns out you didn't even have to hunt for him.

You just wait for the kids to find them and you take them out of their baskets. It's it's like taking candy from a baby.

Congratulations.

I mean more about Easter being pitted against Transvisibility Day. It seems like all this controversy ruined the day for the trans community.

Are you kidding?

This was the most successful transvisibility day in history. Fox News trans Awareness for five hundred straight hours.

Yeah.

And the best part is we'll get another round in a few weeks when Greek Orthodox Easter goes up against Greek Orthodox Transvisibility Day.

Okay, but then I don't think transgender the transgender community wanted this kind of attention.

Well, look, I can't speak on behalf of the trans community. They've specifically asked me to stop doing that, But it seems to me that anyway a holiday can break through the noise, the better. There's just too many important days to remember. Easter, Memorial Day, Arbor Day, my kid's birthday, which is like every year. Supposedly, it's too much, and there's way there's no way to keep track of all

Okay, But what about conservatives who say this was an attack on Easter?

Does he? This was good for both holidays?

What was the last time you saw people this fired up about Easter aka shitty Christmas? But now, thanks to this controversy, everyone and I mean everyone except for Jesse Waters knows what Easter is really about.

Okay, So you're saying that the clash of the two holidays forced everyone to appreciate the true meaning of each holiday.

Exactly.

The lesson we learned this week is that Americans appreciate holidays more when they're outraged, which is why I believe we need to pit more holidays against each other. Let's put Valentine's Day on the fourth of July. Let's move nine to eleven to Halloween. Let's move Mother's Day up against Juneteenth. Do you love your mom or do you hate slavery? You gotta choose, does he?

Michael?

That is.

The tough choice.

That is incredibly offensive.

You see, it's already working.

Thank you, Michael. Michael costs everywhere.

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