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Breaking news out of Yeah, that's right, Canada, just.
Into the news deck.
The cracksmoking Mayor of Toronto has just done it again.
Which brings us to our brand new segment, the fifth in the cracksmoking Mayor of Toronto has.
Just done it again. So apparently.
The cracksmoking Mayor of Toronto has done it again. Here's the sentence I'm assuming does not follow that sentence Save the day.
The hours long city council meeting deteriorated into a spectacle. Mayor rob Ford at one point or mocking a council member suspected of driving drugs.
Mayorpot please stop disrupting amid the chaos.
Mayor Ford nearly not a councilwoman to the ground as he ran across the room.
Poor woman, the poor councilor. You know, she got into politics thinking, you know, this may be a dirty, unrewarding business, but at least I'll never have to worry about going to work and being trampled by a crackhead. And there's a reason Robeford may have been worked up by that particular city council meeting.
The city council in Toronto has just begun debating a measure that would strip its cracksmoking mayor of most of his power.
Wait, smoking crack gives you powers? Are those powers and unquenchable thirst for a crack? But oddly, and Mayor Ford's case, with great powers come very little responsibility. So how did the Council's attempt to strip Mayor rob Ford of his powers turn out?
Ford went down thirty six votes to five.
Five votes.
Who voted to continue to give this man.
Power.
I imagine he must have given a very impassioned defense.
His hansa This.
Folks reminds me of one and I was watching it with my brother.
When Sadam attacked Kuwait.
You guys have just attacked Kuwait and you will never.
Saddam was saying, attacking Quait. Look, the reference may be dated, but in rob Ford's defense, it may be one of the last things he remembers. I know, I know there was an invasion of Kuwait. The next thing I know.
I woke up it was the mayor. I don't know how well.
The vote yesterday capped off a hell of a couple of days for rob Ford, including an interview with CNN where he surrounded himself with school children and then said this, said enough, I.
Was sick and tired of all these allegations and all this should excuse my words, and that's all it is. Sorry, kids, I should have sworn it from the kids. I just, I just, I just I should have done that.
I should have done that.
I feel like for doing out Jesus. That's another that's another cup right down.
What did I do just there? I just said it again?
Me No, not bad.
Shouldn't have said that.
I'm such a spunner all What am I doing?
Right about the kids?
But rob Ford is not in denial, says Rob Ford, he knows he's not perfect.
This this is the thing. I don't look at myself as the mayor. I look at.
Myself as just a normal regular person.
Then go back to being one. Amazingly, after all this, Rob Ford does have a few supporters left in Toronto. We shot around Jessica Williams up to talk to a few of them.
Toronto's Mayor Rob Ford has provided the world with a series of incredible political highlights.
Olivia Gondack says that I wanted to eat it from Gonduck.
I've never said that in my life tour. I would never do that. I'm half be married. I've got more than enough to eat at home. Size.
Have you purchased illegal drugs in the last two years, Yes.
I have, And recently, in a response to his egregious behavior, the City Council of Toronto voted thirty six to five to ask Rob Ford to leave city Hall. So I went to Toronto to see who the hell were these five people and why they didn't just dump the mayor Outright, he smoked crack, Right, that's what he's told us, and he's talked about eating at a press conference.
Right.
I didn't hear that comment live, but the recorded version I heard had one of those words bleeped out.
Oh, it definitely said.
I think they just bleeped it out again.
So why did you vote against that motion? Were you on crack as well?
Well?
If you look at the motion in its parts, it invites them to leave, that's the good part. But then it invites them to come back. That's the part how I couldn't tolerate.
Oh, so the motion wasn't harsh enough for Parker, but he did have another way to punish the mayor.
Some of us thought that the conduct of the mayor might well be brought before the integrity Commissioner and ask her to report with her comments and her advice.
Do you guys also have an obvious commissioner? I get the goal Council.
Well, we didn't think we would need anything of the sort.
See in America, we have a ton of experience with this kind of thing, but Toronto is truly incapable of dealing with.
Ass We have an election coming up next fall, and we'll see what happens then.
Next fall in twenty fourteen, twenty fourteen, What is wrong with the system here?
Well, some people here call it democracy.
Oh no, it's more like a plus socracy. Nobody has the balls to do something around here.
Well I never thought of it in quite those terms.
But how could this guy get reelected? Who in their right mind are the almost twenty five percent of Torontonians who still support him.
He's doing a great job.
Rob Ford is the most fiscally responsible mayor we've had in our city since I've been alive.
Everything he said he's going to do, he's got done.
Was it weird to say responsible and Rob Ford in the same.
Sentence, Absolutely not.
How much is too much crack. For rob Ford to smoke where you would have an issue, it have to.
Be where it affects his performance at his job.
Hold, ihne, is this too much crack?
Absolutely not?
Is this too much crack? Uh?
Nope?
How about this? Is this too much crack? So there is a line between a functioning mayor and a problem. Let's see if he can tell the difference between his mayor and Oh, let's say, Charlie Sheen, I am a sick mother.
For dude, Charlie Sheen.
Wrong, that's rob Ford.
Wow.
Yeah, here's another one. Yes, I have smoke crack cocaine. But am I an addict? No? Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupords.
That is definitely rob Ford.
Yeah, that was a giveaway. That was an easy one. I don't have time for these clowns. I don't have time for their judgment and their stupidity.
Rob Ford?
Nope, that's Charlie Sheen.
Really that sounds like a rob Ford.
Yeah?
I know they're so similar. So people would still vote for rob Ford? Is it maybe because his behavior is not unusual in Toronto workplaces?
Hi?
What can I get chatted?
I think it alt type, Yeah.
Are you smoking crack?
Yes, this is the most annoyingly polite place on earth. And then he said I wanted to suck his I've never said that in my life. I would never do that. I've got more than enough to suck at Rome, and no one confronted me about my Ford like approach to work. Maybe this city deserves its major.
I think he's made mistakes in the past, but I don't believe we should hold that against him forever.
So re elect Rob Ford the hood rat stuffs in the past.
I believe the hood rat stuff's in the past.
So reelect Rob Ford that hood rats in the past.
The financial crash of two thousand and eight brought a new focus on the behavior of Wall Street, But what happened to the regulations that were promising it's wake.
The largest financial institutions have been doing everything they can to make sure that financial regulations don't get it put in place.
And that's exactly the way it should be. According to champions of the free market, men like hedge fund manager John Tobacco, we.
Don't need these socialist forms of regulation. The Elizabeth Warrens of the world coming down and sticking their little fingers and micromanaging the capital markets.
So if those women came down with their little hands, what would we wind up looking like?
We'd start looking a hell of a lot more like Canada.
And nobody wants that. I should know. I'm from Canada.
A horrific country where the financial system is heavily regulated by a centralized government office that sets rules on almost every type of transaction. I reluctantly traveled back back to Toronto and sat down with the CEO of Canada's eighth largest bank to hear his tales of woe about over regulation.
The model of regulation we have had in this country has been a huge contributor to the stability of the banking system and the stability of our economy.
But regulation doesn't work.
It definitely slows things down a little bit. But the Canadian banking system has not had a crash in one hundred and fifty years or even longer. Housing crash, absolutely, not the Internet bubble.
There's a couple of stocks maybe that went down, but no no.
Market crash of eighty seven.
Market crash in eighty seven, I don't think it was one that certainly affected the banking system.
But about the Great Depression.
No, our banking system persevered through the Great Depression as well.
A ridiculous claim substantiated by nothing more than facts. But a real capitalist would know that's not the point.
The American financial system is the last bastion of free market capitalism in the world. It's the greatest system the world has ever known.
What about the statistical evidence that shows otherwise? What's statistical events? Well, since seventeen ninety, the US has had sixteen.
Banking crisises in Canada has had zero.
There have been bubbles and bursts in the US.
But if you're educated and you're prepared, you should be able to profit.
You see, these bubbles in bursts are just a bit of harmless free market fun.
There's nothing fun about people's house losing fifty percent of their value.
But you can make money off that busting.
There are some people, a very few amount of people, who can make money.
The rest of them, who cares? Are you serious? I would never ever say that. Why not?
It's an outrageous thing to say.
Screw them?
No, Oh my god, somebody please please teach these people.
How to bank.
We have a lot of products here in the US that the Canadians can take a hint from like, for example, collateralized mortgage obligations. Although we went overboard with them, it's still a product that worked.
Do you guys who over under inside outside loans? No?
Never never heard of those.
It's a reverse shrinking derivative.
Okay, still never hear of it.
Unlike Americans, average Canadians have been denied these financial instruments, leaving them confused about what a banker really is.
When I say the word banker, what comes to mind?
Trustworthy?
Uh?
Consider it. When I say the word banker, what comes to mind?
Cockroaches, greedy little prits.
They're just like an extension of my family.
Please, disrespectful, reliable, backstabbing, transparent, money grubbing.
I love Canadian banks. Yeah, pieces of That's what they are. And that is the real problem with regulation. It attacks the.
Proud rich culture of the banker, an exciting lifestyle of offensive wealth that, sadly, in some parts of the world, has already been lost.
We have fun, of herod, We have fun.
No, you don't. We do. Prove to me that you are fun. Well.
Put on the spot, I guess I could tell you a joke, So tell me a joke, then, So a duck walks into a pharmacy and he asks for some chapstick, and when he goes to pay, he says, put it on my bill.
That's not a joke.
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
I don't know.
You can't jelly in a girl's mouth, zing.
And you can't jam regulation down a country's throat, because to do so would be to undermine our nation's entire financial philosophy.
Finish this great American banking mantra. Greed is bad, Greed is dangerous. Okay, I guess Canadian Wall Street version is a little different.
So America, you can have regulation, but only if you're prepared to live in a world that looks like this.
The point is, ladies and gentlemen, a greed, for lack of a better word, is not good. Greed is rom Greed.
Is not a quality that people look for in their bankers.
Eh, thank you very much, good speech, Cordal way to be ethical, pal.
Oh, Canada, I'm so glad I left you.
Immigration. Immigration is an enormous issue in this country, but we're not the only country dealing with it.
Dan Buckatol reports.
Mexicans they're tearing America apart, and they've gotten so good at country tearing they're taking it up north. Paul From, founder of the Canada First Immigration Reform Committee, knows the danger.
I mean, we're being invaded.
In fact, what we suspect is happening is that large numbers of Mexicans will will hispanicize Canadian culture.
Right, Canadian culture. And that's terrible because that is what is that exactly, and all of that culture is at risk. Who is to blame besides the Mexicans.
Government policy which wants to replace our population, greedy businessmen, and of course immigration lawyers who make a bucket load of money off.
Consultant immigration lawyer like David Rosenblat, who's part of a nationwide movement encouraging this Hispanicization. There aren't enough Canadians to satisfy the jobs that are here. Why don't you just create new people that are already Canadians.
It's just not a viable solution.
So you're hoping that these Mexicans will screw the women that Canadians aren't willing to screw.
I didn't quite say that Canadians are very active sexually.
We've got a lot of very good looking.
People put on a scale of Pam Anderson's Canadian Who else besides Pam Anderson?
There are just lots nuts and louts.
I can go on and on, go on.
And on, but he can't name any because he's too busy turning Canada into a Mexican pinata. Let's say I'm a Canadian and a Mexican moves in next door. What can I expect?
But will probably depend on the type of Mexican you've got.
Let's say it's your typical Mexican.
You'll get their particular lifestyle, the loud cars, the yard not taken care of in quite the same tidy little way an Italian or Anglo Saxon might do. They won't take any direction, put your litre in the garbage, or don't urinate here or whatever.
Still think these urinehappy job thieves aren't a problem. We'll meet Exhibit A in Canada's immigration job fleecing crisis, Raffi Torres. He's the most feared kind of professional hockey player Mexican. How did you cross the border into Canada?
I didn't really have to cross the border.
My und my dad all across them both.
But when he was twenty five.
Oh well, then I guess we won't be needing your services today.
That was to you.
Oh you can go okay, but soon all Canadians will need translators thanks to Senor Rosen Blat. So why Mexicans, I mean, I mean, I know why you're not taking Americans because America kicks ass and nobody wants to leave.
But why Mexicans.
First of all, let me tell you, we do get contacted by a lot of Americans.
We are interested in bringing up Americans.
There there are any Americans that do want to come.
We have a don't listen to him, don't listen to what he said.
Happy to take America. It's a lot.
There are no jobs, there's no Americans interested in coming up here. As Mexicans continue to hispanicize the Canadian landscape, their looms an even greater threat.
Mexicans will use uh Canada as a as a launching point for a backdoor UH invasion of the United States.
Right, So they're gonna they're gonna go up into Canada and then pull the shaker on us.
Yeah, because the border is still pretty pretty poorous.
Yeah, and if you don't know it's coming, it hurts, Right, So.
You, It's gonna be very messy in the end.
There's only one way to save Canada, stand up to these Mexicans. So good luck Canada.
Now.
The uncertainty surrounding the Ukrainian election may indeed make our own election.
After math seems quite peaceful.
But as President Bush, that's his agenda for the next four years, you may find himself governing an entirely different country.
Samantha b has More.
The re election of George Bush has further cemented conservative control of this country. The Republican victory has brought Canada back in the news, with many convinced that life would be better on the other side of the border. People like Marta Scobb.
I am a Canadian Conservative and I want to move to America.
Yes, with its tolerant society, low crime rate and free healthcare. Canada is a hell on earth for people like Marta. What's the main reason that you want to take off from the great White North.
We're weak, boring.
The Bland, leading the Bland, Vanilla Vanilla all right? As I said, Bland, I'm often asked whether white bread all right and white bread.
Marta is far from alone. Mark Graham is another conservative Canadian who says he'd make a good American.
I look at myself as an intellectual. Say intellectual, I'm a little I'm very sophisticated. Actually I associate with in the US. You would consider them Nascar fans.
But does American need more cultural sophisticates? And are these Canadians conservative enough? Okay? Mini citizenship test? Tell me whether you want more or less of each item?
Government, less guns, more, a lot, more big guns, gays.
I guess I'll have to go with less God.
More grizzlies.
Do you say, grizzlies? More, abortions less? None?
And the most important question, how much do you hate the French?
Can I tell you a secret, Samantha, Please, For a long long time, I have worn poison as my signature. Ifume so, I am about I've been looking for a replacement because I don't buy French goods anymore.
Okay.
With heartland values like these, the Canadians should be welcomed by their conservative counterparts in the USA.
Stay home, fix your own problems in your own country.
Except that American conservatives don't like immigrants.
Right now, we need to shut the border down, the northern border, the southern border.
And the coast.
Is it bad even for Canadians to come here? Most of them aren't even brown or anything.
If we did what they do, we would all be in jail.
But no, they can get away with it. They are invaders.
You seem really angry and upset about this.
Well, no, I'm always like this.
We spoke to an American conservative about Canadian conservatives who want to move to the US, and his message was clear, go blow yourself.
Uh off Fox.
As for Mark Graham, he's still optimistic he'll find a home south of the border.
But you know, I think I'd be welcome with open arms in the US by a like minded.
People are sweet, dude, Oh you are sweet, Mark, But lose the beret in the Red States.
I think it's a little French and frankly a little faggy.
I'm sorry.
Our insatiable thirst for oil it's forced us to do business with some of the world's most dangerous regimes. It turns out the most dangerous.
Maybe closer than we think. Whyit, Senac has more.
We've been told time and time again we must get off for an oil.
America's dependence on oil is one of the most serious threats that our nation has faced.
Mister Pennish, leaves us more vulnerable to hostile regimes and to terrorists.
But if we're going to get serious, we must examine the players, particularly the biggest, most dangerous player of all.
Right now, our leading supplier of imported oil is Canada.
That's right, it's Canada.
It gives us about two million barrels of oil a day, which is about twice as much as we're currently getting from Saudi Arabia.
Canada, I knew it for too long. We've cozied up to their dictators, opened our borders to their most heinous operatives, and ignored their institutional brutality again and again. And oh that's got to hurt. Yes, bit by bit, Canada is killing us. I flew to the oil fields of Alberta to confront our Canadian oilver lords. Would you prefer that I call you shaikh or or lord or your lordship.
I'm senior Vice president, but I mean you can just call me Drew.
Would you agree that Canada is a blood and oil soaked rapetocracy.
Oh no, Canada is a very welcoming, warm country. There's no reason we can't continue to be great neighbors.
Such arrogance and worse, it's American companies that are keeping these oil barons in business. Someone had to send them a message. First question, Wow, these are a mess right, evil Canada.
We've been doing business with Canada for many years. We may have small differences, but we're really cut from the same cloth.
So you're okay with Canada. Canada's fine. Well, what would you do if your daughter had her health care paid for by the government? As a father? How could you live with yourself?
I could live with that, and you call yourself an American? You disgusted me, sir. Also, do you have some Kleenex because I am starting to congeal a little bit here. Sure, the propaganda sounds great until you talk to those who've managed to escape the evil Maple regime.
So you're Canadian.
Refugees, h Yeah, we're from Trona. Ye're born to Renstrom.
What was it like living in that repressive regime?
What's the what's the show all the boat?
Yeah, it's it's The Daily Show with John Stewart.
Oh that's that shore. They make you look silly? Can you look stupid? Yeah, we're just a bunch of Canadian hors.
Go home.
Yankee.
I felt that same anger on the Canadian street where America has become the scapegoat for all of Canada's problems. Why are you angry at America? A lot of reasons. Number one, Vancouver cannucts.
We want the Nardique back. He took the Winnipeg Jets. That was a little bit too much golf scull. You a hockey fan, No.
I'm American. Just as terrorists are taught around the world, here a new generation of Kanuco fascists are being trained to hate. Clearly, it's just a matter of time before they strike.
I think they are more afraid of us than we are of them, to be honest.
So what you're saying we should invade Canada before Canada invades US, I got. I think that's all I need right there. Yes, as Americans, we simply have no other choice.
Americans have a choice, a personal choice.
Every individual has a choice to use fossil fuels or not done.
All right, easy, We'll stop using your oil.
Let me give you an example of what that might mean.
Though obvious transportation means would have to change your cell phone, video games, MP three players, your iPad. All these things are made from a petrochemical or petroleum based products.
What about anyone porn that would be gone. I was beginning to see petro politics in a whole new light. Maybe Canada wasn't so bad after all.
Oh Canada, Canada, Canada, now now, now, now, now, I.
Do want to congratulate Canada. First office a thrilling overtime victory. They claimed the gold in men's ice hockey. The women's team Canadian team also won gold. They truly are good at hockey. So to Canada, I offer you my congratulations and say you are the kings and the queens of the ice. The one caveat I would like to mention is that spring is coming.
And with it the fall, and then you're back on tarra firma.
Yeah.
And when the ice is gone, good luck at beating us at roller hockey or whatever it is you play them. I actually made a bet, this was one of those dumb bets, with the Mayor of Vancouver, that if the US won the gold medal ice hockey, he would send me a case of maple syrup, and if Canada won, I would give him one hundred million dollars. Jokes on, you, bitch, they're American dollars.
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