TDS Time Machine | Best of John Oliver

You're listening to Comedy Central.

Wow.

Just because Republicans don't want to talk about healthcare with the President doesn't mean they don't want to talk about it. When John Oliver visited the RNC Winter meeting in Hawaii, you found plenty of people eager to chat.

You foiled this report. Hawaii not only is it an island paradise, it's also been held off as a model for healthcare reform. Here, government mandates that businesses give health insurance to any employee working over twenty hours a week, resulting in near universal coverage, which made it the perfect place for the Republican National Committee to hold their annual meeting and deliver one key message.

Healthcare reform isn't really a reform.

It's a boondoggle. It would be one.

More step towards socialism. Do you think the American people should be thanking the Republican Party even destroying the healthcare bill.

Absolutely, they should be thanking those that have stood up for the American people to stop this.

But for some reason, Hawaiians didn't understand how bad their own system was.

Healthcare is awesome, you know, especially with my baby.

I'm in between jobs right now, and that they're taking on my healthcare free of charge til I get back on my feet, and that's awesome.

Oh, I has awesome healthcare. You have health insurance. This guy has health insurance. The guy with a skateboard and without functioning shoelaces. Yep, how the fuck does that work out? Even visitors to the island were initially impressed.

The treatment I received here.

Was the best that the world has to offer.

Until a few days later when they realized they'd been tricked into receiving socialized care.

You know what I wanted to say at the press conference.

I wanted to say, I'm just glad this happened before twenty thirteen and Obama's healthcare went into effect, because I might not have survived it.

Luckily Republicans were here to save Hawaiians from them. Else would you say to Hawaiians who say, I have government mandated health care and I love it.

Do they have government mandated health care here?

Yes?

Well, I would say that he who pays the biber calls a dune right.

And what would you say to Hawaiian who said, what that's meaningless, That's just a bit of folksy nonsense that doesn't have any real substance.

I last right thought, it's just not going to work and it will destroy the healthcare system.

What would you say to Hawaiian who said, you literally don't know what you're talking about.

Well, I would say that I do, and I would hope that you would give me a chance to show you there is a better way.

What if that Hawaii then said, Okay, you've got that chance. Dazzle me.

There are some people that may may believe that government run healthcare is okay because they've not had the opportunity of seeing how it works on the private side.

Even Hawaiians who make frequent visits to the emergency rooms somehow didn't see it.

Which I have been and arrest and happen to get some stitches. I go into Hawaii and they say, get the gurney getting fixed. Dog, you okay? And the doctor starts working. I go to the mainland. They say, you got insurance?

Right?

Is your wallet on you? It's not my wallet that hurts, it's my.

Lip let me get this strike. Dog the bounty hunter believes in Hawaiian healthcare.

Dog the bounty hunter believes in Hawaiian healthcare.

Correct, These poor bastards just didn't realize they were living in a socialist nightmare, forced to scrounch for a living, unable even to afford shirts. Many driven to suicide. But for those who do survive, what will their world look like?

Let's look down the road ten years from now, twenty years from now.

Your children, your grandchildren, you can regret.

How are they going to appeal?

Going to regret it? Well, we've done it for forty years.

This isn't something we just started in the last few months.

For the past few.

Years exactly, with only four decks ades of testing. America simply cannot afford to join this dangerous experiment. What would happen? Do you think if this healthcare system made it to the mainland? That question I couldn't answer. I'll tell you what the answer is.

Answer every single person in the United States do?

It would be dead. Thank goodness, we have experts like these to save us.

I don't know about Hawaii.

I haven't.

I mean, I've been here before once, but I don't know how that has worked.

What I do know as a is a universal rule.

It simply does not work.

John Oliver will be right back. The Dot Frank Act is now one year old.

And here to.

Discuss the effect it's having and reforming a damaged financial system. We're very lucky to have with us Tonight HR forty one seventy three.

The DoD Frank Act.

Everybody I ever long, two thousand page long.

Congress passed me without.

Wall single flaw.

Ah, make Shore Wall Street plays by the new regulations protecting your investments across the.

You can hang on there one second. What I'm sorry, Dodd Frank?

What what the hell happened to you?

What do you mean?

I don't want to say it, but you look like.

Easy. Washington's a tough town. John since getting passed. Yeah, I've taken a few shots, but I'm still standing. Yeah, yes, yes, I'm still standing. I'm still here. In fact, just last week my own new consumer Financial Protection Board open for business. As soon as it gets the director will be off to the races.

Wait, there's no director.

No, not just yet.

It's been a year.

Come on, what about Elizabeth Warren? Wasn't she supposed to be the director of this thing?

What happened there?

Confirmation in the sandage.

There's no motion.

FAMA gonna use our recess appointment to give father John without her own buddy, Dad don't do it because his feelings weren't that strong.

Wow, But you know what, that's interesting.

You know what, John, it doesn't matter. I've still got four hundreds tough new rules to remake our broken and corrupt financial system.

Well, you know what, that's great.

How are those new four hundred rules working?

They're working great. The ones that are written are working great.

The ones that are How many of the four hundred new rules have been written?

Thirty eight? It's a magic number, Yes it is. Oh, it's a magic number.

It might not be four hundred, one hundred and fifty or seventy seven, but it's thirty eight, and that's a magic number.

Let's do this. Red Sauce Pitcher Curd Shilling.

And he clippers forward, Dale Wilkinson, God, he goes.

Tail back chi river.

They wal thirty heyes, and it's a magic number.

Oh, it's a magic number.

Seventy eight is a magic number because Dale Wilkinson makes it a magic number.

You've heard of Wilkinson.

No, I have not a clippers guy until you mentioned him just now.

No, you'll just have to take my word for it. He definitely exists.

Why weren't the rules written John sticking, love me, love me, love me, gets your excesses.

You love me, love me, lom me get your excess here, love me, love me? Does your stop it, stop it, stop it? Hold, I can't do this. Play mcgloveist is a cop out, John. Here's what's going down. This whole financial reform thing is a sham. The only way the Congress would pass me was if the he tells of my rules and regulations were left unspecified, giving K Street lobbyists all the time. They would need to water me down post passage. And you know what, exactly, boo exactly,

Sorry die, I had no idea, law, I had no idea, died Frank, that you have been through so much you don't.

Know what you're talking about. You haven't seen the things I've seen.

I know I'm just a.

Law but my ass was raw, and my bolls put through USA kill us all and everyone who swore up and down to support me now they walk planned parent hood too late. Timer bought me last night, I got hit by God.

It's gone too far for this law. Did I mention?

My ass was all.

The Doc Frank Act.

Everybody.

We'll be right by.

Of course.

King help tonight in Hempstead, Long Island at Hofstra, John, thank you so much for joining us.

Ain't no problem, Johnny, least I can do what.

Obviously make a break night for John McCain. How did the candidates do? John?

Come on, Johnny was a real rug coat.

You got one guy over here doing this, one guy doing that.

I'm thinking one of these guys.

Doing over here just talking and oh.

A gooba did gaba.

You know that.

I'm I'm pretty sure that that doesn't mean anything. She's talking about any reaction from from the people of Long Island to the debate.

Let's see, let's see. Actually I talked with herself, wom chick. She had a pretty nice rack kind of about a.

Face anyway, she said, and I quote.

Oh my god, that debate was awesome.

You know, I don't know when you changed from a Long Island accent to some serbian thing.

But uh, hey, are we talking? Are we talking here?

I thought we were talking?

John? How long have you been out in Long Island? Only two hours? Took the l like doubleh boom or just like tree stops only.

I'm gonna ask you. I'm gonna ask you right now. Please return immediately to the studio.

All right, John, It's just I got a better idea, a little.

Oh oh oh, John, Please get me out of here.

We'll send someone to come and get you, John quickly.

All right, John, thank you very much. John Oliver.

Right, all right, we get it, and not for ready enough.

I agree with you, Morton, I agree with them.

Well well, well I was come crawling back, Yes, yes, I started.

I know. It's pretty weird to be back. I do not like being in that guest room at all. That was the one room where I worked here. You were not allowed to go in, and I don't like being in it now. It feels like I'm doing something wrong by being inside it.

You never you never stuck in to see a guess.

No no no, no, no, no no no, And we were we were never allowed to really be in there because it had to be kept nice for the guests, and it never really occurred to me one day I might be that and I still don't feel so I put my bag in there and then stood in the corridor for the rest. I don't want to be in there at all.

Yeah. This pased to pretty much my memories. You were here, you were in this building.

I was very much in this building. I was this was this was the reason I came to America, and I was here for eight years.

Yeah. Same, That's why. That's why I was so.

Happy you came on because we people don't know by look at us, but we actually have very similar backgrounds because we both joined the show. I moved to America to do the show, just like you. And when I first joined the show, you know, the Daily Show alumni network is so strong. I asked to meet up with mister Oliver. Yeah, and I think mister Oliver, and he was mister Oliver. I was like, there's no way this guy's gonna let me meet up with him.

And you are like, no, come, come before work.

There's nothing. There's nothing I like more than talking to people who have questions about how to make field peace because it's the it's that it's such a narrow set of skills. Yes, and all you had, all of your questions were great. That was I remember you leaving and thinking, oh, you're going to be fine even though you don't have the answers yet, all your questions are right, So you're

Well, that's that is the I mean, you know, you have to really not care to do satire sometimes, and everyone's like people, I don't even people know how much you don't give up.

Yes, you truly don't give off.

Hard in the marrow of my bones. Sometimes when our lawyers say they're going to be upset, you go, I'm not having a physical reaction to that at all. Yes, it's no concern to me whether the Sackler family are mad with me. To be honest, I'm a little bit. It's a tingle of happiness.

Yeah, that's kind of what you need. It's definitely.

Yeah, you like the feeling that I like the feeling of trouble. Yeah, in comedy it's good because I'm probably a natural coward in many ways, but when it comes to comedy, I do like the feeling of being in Yeah, it's.

You talked about. You said, pushing the button. You just button. You just got to push it because I mean, you know.

And and what was interesting was why when met with you this how much you don't give a You made me come to your office at eight am, first of all, which is yeah, which is extremely early for comedians.

Yeah, it is true. That's an amazing thing about doing jobs like this. When you get into comedy, it's not generally thinking that you will see a human beings breakfast time. No, but yeah, that's what you came. You came very early, look right and early, and showered at ah.

Yeah, and I came here.

I talked to her, and I have very specific questions. And one thing you told me. I've been using this in my podcast rounds. I don't know if it's come back to you, but like, uh, when you told me it took you two years to relearn how to do comedy in America.

I think that's probably true.

You want spot onto the day, By the way, I was in hindsight, I was sorry, oh my god, because I remember there was a day I was in New York City gigging at some comedy club and it was two years in literally almost to the day, and I remember things are trying to click a little bit of like relearning how to do comedy because again, like you, like me, we were doing comedy outside of America before we even came here.

Yeah, and so I think the outside the perspective in comedy always works. The thing with being an immigrant here is you kind of have to learn the exact ways that your outsider perspective can translate. So you kind of have to learn basically how that can work. And once it does, you're fine. But until that point, it does feel a little bit like unshot.

Yeah, it's a bit like, you know, you can come here and you can joke about America on a very surface level, and you can. You can, and that would do well for you, for you know, if you have a fifteen minute set, maybe thirty minute set. But I feel like after nine months or a year in America, the audience can can't smell the bullshit of like of like you've been here long enough, right, like guns shouldn't

We know we have guns. Tell us something.

Else, we if we know nothing else about ourselves, that we have guns to a genuinely problematic extent, that is not a fresh insight we genuinely know, yes, exactly.

So you are like going deeper and deeper and deeper into it, which you know that that was my guiding light as well.

We're not first time.

I'm so glad, incredibly advice of wait twenty four months.

It was like a job I still can't live.

I just digged down and didn't want to hear from you again for two years, that's all it worst come back come back to look like question in two years and then well too, yeahs.

And I wonder like do you feel like uh satire in twenty twenty three? Is that you know you've been at the show you've seen the Daily Show kind of evolve over a lot of time. Then when you join the show, I don't there wasn't anyone else doing it kind of, there wasn't TikTok, there wasn't Instagram.

Oh no, there wasn't those things, right, So.

It wasn't a bunch of you know, like assholes on talking about you know, like trying to do satire, be it up all the time, and so what Sorry, now now I'm just attacking a bunch of people on.

I think you're now attacking the entire population of TikTok the truck.

Yeah no, I'm hosting for one day, Come at me, tik talk.

I was just trying to stop the ground shut. If you have a monogram shirts, oh yeah, yeah, that's a very fancy shirt.

Oh yeah, yeah, this one is.

I got this shirt made in New York City, Chinatown, and you no, he's a he's a legit tailor. And then he asked me if I wanted my Chinese name embroidered on it, and I was like, go for it. And then now it just looks like a mustard steak.

Yeah it doesn't look like my son talked a little bit like a mussele stylish mustard stack.

Yeah, did you guys get fancy suits when.

You know we got no suits? We got I cannot we we were not given any. I never owned a sun. This boomer.

Coming on a daily shot telling us how good we have it. Now you mean to have a desk, We have cameras.

To go to go to a place to buy us and doing Philip is you wreck them all the time? For years here we did not. There's nothing that made ex correspondence more angry than hearing that we got three suits when we did and yeah, that was the thing that bothered them. So there's no no, you should have to go into the hole every year just to get a presentable suits. Now look at you, spiffy.

Now did the show pay for that? Yeah?

Monographs, you get monographed shirts?

Yeah, well you know.

How many Central has changed. I know things are a little chopping here, but monogram shirts.

No.

I told them they they're monogrammy, they're racist. And then they're just oh, because.

That's that's a move that I can't make.

Yeah, but like that's the thing, Like we're both immigrants in America, and do you ever I guess my question to you is like what how do you answer the people who are like, if you don't like it here, leave, Yeah, I get that a lot.

Yeah, I mean I guess they took it's a I mean, it's a horrible points, but it's a fair question. I guess. Now my answer would be I'm a citizen. You can't don't do that. But I mean, the tricky thing is I felt ownership. It's very dangerous. A British person saying I felt ownership of this country historically, historically does not know. Well, it's amazing. I just went to India and I felt like I belonged. But I felt at home here long before my legal status was solid. That's the tricky thing

That's about I was.

I was back on that other point, like, do you feel as a place for satire? Like basically, the the news is so crazy right now, reality is sometimes matching up to the news sometimes in that environment, do you feel that satire is still possible? Like, you know, when you're doing a joke ironically, do you feel like people can get it that you're trying to ironically be the bad guy in some you know?

Oh, you mean like if you're doing film because we used to play the bad guy in film piece, right, you would say things you did not mean just to embody an argument that you do not agree with. I mean in film pieces, that's the way that we would operate all the time. In general, I mean our shows a little different, like we're not in the and.

That's your show and asking about what for me?

But this show we got you and you figured it out.

Talk about I'm talking about for me?

Like I think this, I think there'll always be a place for satire. I mean there was a place for in Germany, in the thirties. It didn't seem to work out that well over there, but they gave it a go. Yeah. Yeah, So no, I think there will always be and I'm like you, I'm happy for people online to try and do it as well. Ronnie really would like nobody to have.

A volady all about earning your voice like me I did. I had to get on the show the get a voice. You don't get a voice just in your underwear.

On Instagram, Ronnie regrets that gatekeepers have been removed from the process. You really liked the gates.

I love the gig. Yet it was so tough to come here. You know. I was very tough for me to come here. I like you, I also really wanted to come here.

That is the thing. I don't think Americans understand how rough the US immigration process is. When they say come to people, come in the right way. I don't think they realize how literally impossible that is in some in some aspects. When when I got my green card here, they brought it to me in my office upstairs and they gave me a Budwiser and an apple pie with

It's not easy on the top of the green card. Even the visa before the green cards incredible. It's called it's called the extraordinary ability visa.

Yes, you have to prove first of all that you.

Have extraordinaribility, which I challenge anyone to do unless you're freaking an NBA player someone foot. And then second, boy, it's like if you don't constantly prove that you're they can deport you, like if I have a bag segment on the Daily Show.

Demonstrate extraordinaribility that was at medium level of ability. That is the worst thing about coming in on the visa is like occasionally they will look at the visa and say, what do you do, because they're expecting a surgeon, someone with a marketable skill, and the moment you say comedian like, that's this is not for you, that's not And also then if it's all go tell me something funny like or what is this a fun bitch? Or is this the moment I get deported? Do I need a joke?

Yeah, it's in a weird way. I'm with you in that, in that like immigrants to America who come here actually want to be here, have fart to be here, and we're the ones who get shit done here because we had to improve it every single time.

That's right, that's right, we get the job done. Yeah, I would say, what is more quintessentially American than coming to a country you don't belong in and deciding you're going to stay and thanksgiving of all times?

Yes, all right, so we get it.

You You know you every interview I've researched you on, you've you've professional love for America. You're still here, clearly you still love it. Okay, so can you shut the fuck up and be American for one minute. Instill constantly complaining and talking like a foreign all the time.

I mean, I challenge.

You, how you change me to be American?

Yes?

I want you, want to.

Want you to eat this hot dog right now, and then I want you to throw this football and football you have.

To call it a football.

I can't do that. Ye go to an American football, okay, American, an American.

You gonna throw this to me. You gonna eat that first, and you throw this to me? Okay like this, No, no, you gotta quaking. I'm gonna go over bit.

Okay, eat this first.

This is the way.

You were said, you are said, you are said, all right, and then you gotta come over here.

You gotta sa right here.

And you gotta throw a tight spiral.

How can I be all right?

All right?

Then we got drum roll, drum roll for you for you right.

You pulled that, y'all. This is lastly tonight We've.

Joined Oliver as wherever you'll find it, who gives a Explore.

More shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount

Plus Paramount Podcasts