TDS Time Machine | Air Travel

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Ever since United Airlines got in trouble for upgrading a passenger to wrestling class, people have started paying close attention to how airlines treat customers. You know, there have been many viral videos of crazy stuff that's happening on airplanes.

So that you can film yourself. Ah world Star.

For more on the trends in travel, we turned to see their travel across run Ronnie Changing everybody.

Les Travor Look. Flying sucks, right, It's always sucked, but back in the day we just couldn't record how much it sucked. Now with camera phones, we can relive those terrible moments forever.

This Delta pilot was actually caught hitting a passenger, apparently trying to break up a fight between two passengers and a.

Jedway American immediately suspended a flight attendant who allegedly ripped a stroller away from the mother, nearly striking the child in the process.

Okay, but do you do that to me and I'll not you play.

Another disturbing airline incidents caught on camera two passengers throwing punches at each other. The man in red yelled, do you think I'm crazy? The government is crazy?

No, dude, you're crazy? Right? Who fights in a Hawaiian shirt? He's like the angriest guy at the LUO. Why is that no umbrella? My pina colada?

And what is this?

Is this a new pre flight routine? Here's your seatbelt? Here the exits all right, now.

Let's keep them up to bear.

Everybody, alright, what's your good clean fight? You think Detroit is tough, try being in boarding zone five and come on, people, we can't just keep fighting each other airplanes. You have to come to get and unite so we can fight other species.

The passenger stung by a scorpion.

The United flight was heading from Houston to Calgary when the scorpion suddenly dropped from an overhead bin, landing on a passenger's head.

Why are we fighting desert animals in the sky? Okay, Look, if a bird picks a fight from me, okay, maybe right, but a scorpion no, I'm not mentally prepared for that. And the worst part is when a scorpion stings me, I won't have the antidote because it's more than three ounces. Yeah right, So now I'm dead.

Like this rabbit.

United Airlines is dealing with another pr nightmare following the death of a giant rabbit.

They've come out of a statement at the safety and well being of all the animals that travel with us is of the utmost importance to United Airlines. What makes match as worse was that Simon was a promising rabbit. At one hundred and twenty nine cent to me is long. His father, Darius, holds the Guinness World Records for being the biggest rabbit.

Thanks a lot, United, you killed the yow ming of rabbits. Seriously, this is a professionally big rabbit. It's like first ballot Hall of Fame rabbit.

Jesus running. I fly, but I didn't realize flying had gotten so bad. Man.

Is there anything that the airlines can do well? I'm glad you asked, Trevor.

Okay, first of all, hey, airlines, stop over booking flights. Okay, yeah, this is how you do Okay, you count the seats on your plane and then you sell that number of tickets. That's it. Sorry, is that too difficult to understand?

Okay?

Second thing, we don't need twenty websites searching each other for cheapest flights. Okay, just have one website, call it the cheapest Flights.

That's it.

Go there, we get the cheapest flights and as a delay, they should pay us. Okay, that's how it works.

And if we're.

Crash in the ocean, yeah, and if we crash into ocean, we need knives under all seats. Otherwise we're just seeing that like chicken nuggets, the shocks.

You know.

Ronnie actually speaking of helping this, I read that Congress is having hearings today and Congress is gonna figure out a way to make a passenger bill of rights.

Great.

Congress is in charge of airlines. Next time I go home, I'm driving.

Thanks Ronnie, Ronnie Chang, everybody, we'll be right back. Do you hate flying, Well, the airlines don't care.

First it was shrinking legroom, then it was the overhead bendspace. Now American Airlines they're thinking about making bathrooms smaller. The company announced that they're planning to make them only two feet wide in their new planes. American Airlines new planes will have one hundred and seventy two seats, ten more than what they have now.

Yeah, bathrooms are gonna get even smaller on airplanes. This is why I always choose to check my deuces at the gates.

You know, Yeah, I get look, but it's worth it, you know.

I honestly wonder what asshole thing airlines will come up with next.

Are they just gonna have two people per seat?

You know, someone will come up to you and be like, excuse me, hello, and you'll be like, I'm sorry, Am I in your seat?

And they'll be like, no, you are my seat. That's what this says, because like, when does it end?

You pay for extra luggage, you pay extra for leg room, extra to guarantee your seat. You know, it's only a matter of time before they make you pay for different parts of the flights. It's gonna be like, sir, where about to descend, So I'm gonna need you to exit the plane.

You're like, but we're still in the air.

Oh you wanted the takeoff and landing package. Oh you don't up. So they're trying to squeeze every single dime out of us, but like really squeeze in fact, to give you an idea of how small these American airlines bathrooms would be, we're joined in the studio by our very own Daisi lightech everybody, than tell you to.

Show you what we're talking about. We built a full scale model of American airlines propose twenty four inch bathroom, and it is like the walls are closing in, you know, suffocating us, like we're trapped in a hopeless marriage.

You know, there's barely enough room.

For a person to sit comfortably, wash their hands or shave their bikini line at thirty thousand feet.

Trevor, thank you so much for that, DESI.

In other news, President Trump today granted Kim Kardashian's request to commute the prison sentence of sixty three year old drug dealer Alice Marie Johnson. And you know the thing about Kim kardashi Like, have you ever noticed how she's such a great person who might one day be able to get me out of prison, Which is why I'll never make another joke about her, Yeah, because I mean, can you imagine I'll be in jail crying? Agib please tell the president and I'm innocent, and she'd.

Be like, first, can you tell that joke about me and Ray J? And I'll be like, so the joke is, sorry, desire you what are you doing? Hey? When you gotta go, you gotta go. That's not a real bathroom it is?

Now?

All right? Does he light like everybody? Wow?

Let's talk about flying now. It can be a terrifying experience. You're in a small building that's moving five hundred miles an hour in constant fear of either crashing or having to act interested in what the person next to you is saying.

Oh, that's right.

I guess I never did think about who distributes phone charger cables. Yeah, but for some people, flying can be even harder.

A college student in California is demanding an apology from Southwest Airlines after being escorted off a plane for speaking Arabic.

Wow. That is shocking. Americans can recognize Arabic. Wow, so messed up.

I didn't know speaking foreign languages was against airline regulations.

And when I first heard this, I thought, well, maybe he was shouting and acting like he was a threat. But no, he was just being a person who speaks Arabic.

The woman sitting in front of him told the crew she overheard him making potentially threatening comments.

He was on the phone with his uncle in Baghdad and used the common Arabic expression in shellah or god willing. Another passenger told security that Makzumi was using Johanna's language. He was pulled off the plane and then questioned.

Wow, thrown off the flight for saying God willing? I bet the full sentence was probably god willing. My fellow passengers. Won't throw me off the flight for no reason. Nope, nope, looks.

Like they're taking me away. Well, god willing, I won't get a cavity search. Nope, looks like that's happening as well.

And by the way, what did that passenger mean he was using jihadist language. A language doesn't get owned by the worst people who use it.

We don't call English the Real Housewives language.

That's not how it works. Arabic is a language. It's not an action.

No, no.

Now, Look, this passenger who complained didn't know what she was talking about. And I understand that, and I understand why she was alarmed. It's because every day on TV everyone is telling her to be alarmed.

The entire Obama administration refuses even to utter the words radical Islamic terrorism.

There is a link between Islam and terrorism.

There's a large group of violent extremists Muslims word coming to kill me and.

You a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States.

Not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslim. And not all idiots are Fox News hosts, but all Fox News hosts are. Well, you'll figure it out.

But Southwest Airlines, here's my thing.

Just because someone saw something and said something doesn't mean you guys have to do the wrong thing. As an airline, you shouldn't be racially profiling. That's the TSA's job. Like, the problem is that Southwest is getting a reputation for doing this.

A Marilyn Muslim woman says she was humiliated after getting kicked off her flight because of her religion.

The woman, Hakima Adullah, who was wearing an Islamic headscarf at the time, says all she wanted to do was switch seats.

Instead, she got the boot by a flight attendant.

What she failed to mention was that she wanted to switch seats with the pilots. Now, now you'd think with this pattern, the least Southwest could do.

Is off of an apology.

Southwest says the student's removal was quote a collaborative decision rooted in established procedure.

Flight attendants are allowed to remove people off flights if they pose a threat to public safety.

Oh oh, rarely, Southwest.

Yeah, you want to talk about public safety, maybe you should start by assigning seat numbers, because right now every single flight is like a Black Friday sale. I have to try ample three kids just to get a window seat.

Three kids.

You know how hard it is to enjoy of you with dead children at your feet.

Thank god I had a window to look pensively out of what have I done? What have I done?

And Southwest, if you're trying to sell how seriously you take safety, then maybe stop making these pre flight announcements.

These days, some airlines gone crazy charging for each little thing.

All right, don't get me wrong. It's it's a lot of fun.

It's a lot of fun what they're doing until the plane's going down and you can't remember the lyrics to.

The safety song.

Yeah, because it's a song people, So now you know, like you're gonna have to do that thing where you have to sing the whole song just to get to the path that you can't remember the planes going.

Down and you're like, oh, what was it done? Then stop?

Buckle up and listen and listen to Oh from the ceiling by mass on the sea, leg coss on the ceiling, cos of ceiling. That does not make me feel safe. Planes are not a place where employees should be singing. It's not Coldstone Creamery. I've never been into Colstone Creamery and being like, man, this is so much fun. I

Welcome aboard Southwest Airlines before takeoff. Here are a few ways our Muslim passengers can avoid terrifying their fellow travelers. Don't bring a bag on your flight because bags can have bombs in them.

Instead, carry your possessions.

In your arms at all times. If you speak Arabic, don't, it's a scary language, but don't not speak either, because that's also super suspicious. Instead, memorize some common English phrases. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. Be considerate to your non Muslim seat mates. Give them fair warning before you make any movements with your hands. I'm about to buckle my seatbelt, not detonate

You are now for you to move about the country as long as Linda in eleven feet is cool with it.

If you have a flight coming up, you may want to be careful about what you drink because a new study looked at the water safety from a dozen major airlines, and those airlines with the cleanest water are Alaska Airlines, Allegiant, Hawaiian Air Frontier, and Southwest. While the jurney is wal is it found on board Delta, American, United and Jet Blue and Spirit airlines. That might surprise you right, the study suggests sticking with bottled water on planes and avoiding

Yes, it turns out if you've been drinking water on a plane, your bowels may be in danger. And honestly, this was surprising to me because I always knew that the water in the bathroom wasn't for drinking, right, use that to.

Wash your feet, But.

I didn't know that the water they serve you can also be dirty.

Like how does it get that bad? Do they take the hot.

Towels from business closses and squeeze the water into cupture economy?

Is that what they do? It's like, what does that taste? Sir? That is the taste of success. And that list was pretty interesting as well.

You've got a Laskin at the top and then only way at the bottom is Spirit Airlines. And I know, I know some people think Spirits should be ashamed that they're number ten, but to be honest, I was impressed that they have water.

On their fly.

Yeah.

The only refreshments on Spirit are your own tears of regret. Spirit Airlines, our watter has the least of your problems. If you love flying, but you hate crying babies, well, then maybe you should be flying to Japan.

Japan Airlines is coming to the rescue of travelers who don't want to sit near a crying baby. Japan Airlines seat selection map now shows where babies will be seated on upcoming flights. This is good news for parents traveling with children as well, since they can try to congregate around fellow travelers with babies who won't mind being around them.

Yes, yes, what a genius move.

Japan Airlines will show you where the babies are on a plane before you book your seat.

It's the best invention in flying since the seatback tray. Yeah yeah, because.

Before the tray, when you asked for orange juice, you just have to be like yes, please, Yes, I love the idea. I want to see where the babies are on a flight because there's nothing worse than thinking you're going to sleep on a plane, but then you realize you sitting next to a.

Tiny crazy person, because that's where babies are. It's a tiny.

Crazy person just screaming and shitting themselves.

Ah, when they eat their feet, what are you?

I also hope this means more babies will sit next to each other. Yeah, because that's the only way you can ever get a baby to stop crying. Have you ever been around babies right, like, there's one baby crying, and then have you noticed when a baby sees another baby crying, like.

They'll be like ah, and another baby like ah, and.

They'll be like whoa, what's going on there? They'd be like this, this person's weird? Is that is something I'm gonna deal with this? So I love the idea. I also don't think we should stop there. Yeah.

I don't just want to know where the baby's on a plane. I also want to know where the dude who snores is going to be on the.

Plane, all right. I want to know where the person who gets up and goes.

To the bathroom five times an hour it's going to be on a plane. And I definitely want to know where the people who talk to you the whole flight are going to be on the plane.

All right. Talking is for the runway once we get over ten thousand feet. Shut up, I'm not your friend. We'll talk ya. How are you not always like who's seat bustide?

When that goes off, your mouth goes off as well. So congrats to Japan Airlines for letting me see the seats with the crying babies, and congrats to Spirit Airlines who have announced a new feature.

Unless you see where the adults will be crying Spirit Airlines, you wish you were sitting next to a baby.

Millions of people we'll be traveling for the holidays next week, and just in time, our favorite airline has made a major announcement.

Spirit Airlines unveiled its redesigned cabinet features more comfortable seats and bigger trade tables. Spirits as the seats, we'll offer two extra inches of usable leg room and full sized tables. The change coming after the carrier faced a lot of criticism over the years about thin seats and tight leg room space. The new interior is currently installed on one airplane so far, but the plan is to try and make it available across the entire.

Yeah, Stirring Airlines has finally upgraded their planes, and can I just say I'm so proud, more leg room, a full sized trade table, and.

Just look at those seats, huh. I mean sure it looks like they stole them from the.

Delta terminal, but still, but still, And you also could argue that a full sized trade table is a weird thing to brag about. But on the bright side, now you have room to put the meal they don't give you.

This is great, So congratulations, Spurt.

I mean, we dissed them a lot on the show, but this is a big improvement over their old seats, which were just a dirty couch they found on the street. I think that's great. Airplanes, they used to be a magical way to travel in style, but these days they're so cramped in frustrating it's turning into fight club in the sky.

A passenger on a recent American Airlines flight says a man assaulted her by continuously punching her seat. See that guy back there punching that woman. So that is Wendy Williams sitting in the seat there, She said. The man initially asked her to recline up while he ate. She says she obliged, and when the man was done eating, she reclined back again. That's when she said he kept hammering away at the back of her seat. You could

Really, people, this is just childish, and I mean for both of these passengers. First of all, guy punching right, if this woman is reclining into your space, you don't hit the back of her seat. Come on, grow up, do the mature thing. You call the flight attendant over and you tell them you show this lady putting drugs up her butt.

That's what you do.

And as for the reclining woman, do you really need to recline?

Huh?

Does that extra two inches help you relax? There's nothing relaxing about flying. You're trapped inside a bullet full of thoughts. Just sit upright for a couple of hours.

I don't understand these fights.

If you ask me, these two passengers shouldn't be mad at each other. They should be mad at the airline. Think about it, they're the ones who keeps squeezing all those seats closer and closer, making the rest of us fight for the overhead bins and full of space.

Pretty soon flying is going to turn into the Hunger Games.

Yeah, this is gonna put one bag of pretzels in the aisle and be like.

All right, passengers, lunch has been served. May the odds be ever in your favor.

With all this money Congress is sending overseas, you might be wondering, hey, when does Ronnie gallow taste of this? Now, where's the government gonna do a little something from me?

The Biden administration revealing new airline passenger rights protecting folks from hidden fees and other frustrations of flying, like the refund policy for flight delays.

Passengers must now get automatic cash refunds when a flight is canceled for any reason or delayed by more than three hours for domestic flights more than six hours for international.

Okay, cash, fun, that's something.

Yeah, yeah, I mean I'm always having airplane delays.

Yeah, that's pretty good. I mean, but but you know, delays is only a small pop of the problem.

I mean, what if you know, you know, when.

Airlines make you change airports or they add connections, and they always just trying to screw you over.

If the airline changes any of your airports, adds connections, downgrades your seat, or even changes the plane to one that's less accessible to.

Those with disabilities, those.

Are all new reasons for cast refunds.

Okay, I'm coustiously autimistic. It's good I've got my attention. Uh it is pretty good. In fact, it feels a little too good to be true. But hey, I guess all I have to worry about now is losing my luggage and a shitty WiFi.

If your check bags aren't delivered within as little as twelve hours or your WiFi doesn't work, you're entitled to refunds.

This is the greatest thing the government has ever.

Done in history, I mean the New Deal history.

Jordan.

The man is refunding you for Wi Fi in the sky and that doesn't work.

What more could you want?

I mean, you still gotta fix that thing with the doors falling off into that.

But thank you, Joe Biden, thank you for making my life better. And I'll just bring back Roe V Waye so i'd have to sit next to a crying baby on a red eye.

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