Target vs. Walmart | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow, Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up.

This is a show about not much really like it's big topics, but big topics to us nothing going on in the world. It's just things that we feel very strongly about. And I am your co host, Josh Jnson right for the Daily Show.

I am joined by day's long correspondent from The Daily Show, Lover Fighter and all around bad Bitch. I remember crap top phase friends.

And today we're talking.

I also comedy a new stand up I act. I say, I enjoy long walks on the beach.

What do you like to do.

Today? We're talking about Walmart versus Target.

All right, that's my favorite. I love a Walmart. How do you feel about Walmart? Do you enjoy Walmart? Because Josh is gonna say the wrong ANSWER's gonna judge me.

People gonna judge me.

Listen to the episode right now that if you got a couple of b sideways like that, like try to do it close to the camera like it's all sweet and stuff, but really it's a dig at me.

And I always recognize a dig when a dig is happening. Okay, I brought my shovel.

Baby boy, did you bring your shovel? Are you having a good day?

I'm hungry, So tell the people what side you're on today.

Listen. If the people know me and know what kind of.

Classy as girl I am, it would find Southern woman I am. As I walk in nature. They know I'm seeing Walmart, Walley.

Wiley, Walley Wiley, Wiley, Wally World. We at the Walmart, We at the Walmart, We at the you haven't seen the we at the Walmart, we at the Walley Wild. You didn't see the girls dancing.

They have not cared to see it.

But they got the Louisian a purchase card. You know what Louisiana purchase guard is, don't you?

And I am on the side of Target because you like, because what because what? Because here's the thing, this thing, this thing. I've been excited for this episode. I've been excited for so long because so many times there will be a thing where we were going, you know, head to head, my work cut out for me. I truly am like, okay, how am I gonna Because you know your your thing will be like very very solid, right, so then I'll be like.

It's like puppies versus shoes. I get it.

Yeah, and I'll be like, I believe in my side. But how do I convince the people with this one? This is the first time where I feel like, you know, us being authentic to ourselves has has truly uh kicked your legs from under you.

All Right, the thing is Walmart.

But if we're being authentic to ourselves, yeah, yeah, you know, for the history of your life, up until you left the Great Stand of Louisiana, you was a Walmart nigga.

And don't blame me. And don't you spent many a childhood days, many a Sunday, many a Sunday in a Walmart. Don't you remember when they put in the groceries.

I've been fighting my whole life to escape Walmart. I've been working to get that target in. I've been Look, look all I had to fight, you know what.

And I never like to say this, but Josh, you forgot where you come from. That's what happened.

Hey, I hope I have abnesia. I have no problem that part of my past.

Listen, I remember in high school. Think was the first dame my senior in high school and very cute, little like outfit. It's like a blue top and it buttoned up the back because I could start like open like just a few of the buttons, you know, just to basically let my ass fit in the shirt. But also you don't give the give a boy a peak of a lower back situation. I was seventeen, after all, and this cute little like matching like blue and white skirt.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, white man, because I'm not laughing at your thing now. I'm laughing the fact that you said situation is so funny, just because just because I'm so sorry to digress, but if i want to make sure I remember it so that we could get to your thing and then get back to that. But like when I was in high school, he said, you were seventeen. Right, when I was at high school, there was a guy

As you should have, as you should have the knuckles.

Should have it's the knee of the arm, the el or the elbow. The knee is the elbow of the Let's the same the knuckle.

It's a joint.

The bands, I remember they had us because I could never figure out why they wouldn't let us wear like we always thought it was stupid that they wouln't let us wear like spaghetti straps or some schools or bra strap couldn't show, because why would we teach boys to have respect for girls? We could just cover girls up. Yeah, yeah, apparently right, Like I'm not a I'm not an antique car.

Why the fuck am I under the straight?

Yeah?

So listen, So you were had the lower back situation going in the.

Lower back situation.

And so this one of the popular girls who when she was talking to me, I couldn't figure out why she was talking to me because I wasn't popular, but I was friends with the people who were popular.

Also, I've really never spoken to this girl before.

And I haven't and you know, the little like dad these be did the sandals that came out, because I remember those beaded braceleists that were like this is Courtz, this is Jay this they put it on shoes or it's like blue matching flip flop shoes, and I always wear blue.

If we didn't live in the suburbs, you thought it was a gang member. But I just really like blue. And this girl comes to me and she's like I really love her outfit and I was like, oh, thank you. So where'd you get it from? I was like Walmart. She's like, you got closed from Walmart?

And I was like, bitch, this outfit was cute before you found out it was from Walmart, and it's gonna be cute after you find out it's from Walmart. And then there's other popular girls standing there was like her clothes are from Walmart and I was like, and ain't still cute?

So what?

Yeah.

Look, I'm not saying, listen, Walmart doesn't have good product.

No, I'm not saying what happens in a Walmart?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen.

Mm hmm.

This is how I knew Target was some regular shit and people trying to make it better than it was.

When people started calling Target tar Jay, I was.

Like, Nah, bitch, this is a regular ass fucking store because guess what these cheap as jeans in here is the same cheap ass jeans in a Walmart. We're not playing this game. All Target did was make their prices a little higher. And then they're like, Okay, we got red and white. We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna put a filter on these lights.

We're gonna make it. Because the thing is a Walmart.

As soothing as a Walmart is for me, it is slightly chaos even.

When it's slightly calm down even when. But you have to understand a country ass Walmart. Why Because I.

Went to college and country ass town which college games, Gainesville, Georgia, right, and there was a mall across the street.

On a Sunday, people would park at the mall and walk across the street.

To the Walmart shopping center. Because there was no fucking parking in that Walmart. And I'm gonna tell you what, it was not as chaotic as a city. A city Walmart is wild. I go on a Target and get a bunch of shit, or don't they all know you're going to Target, you get one thing, you spend two hundred.

Dollars, right, That's that's not correct. That's what I'm saying. You going to Target to get one thing?

Oh oh, and you're like, what the fuck happened here?

M hmm.

If you spend two hundred dollars on Walmart, you brought half the store.

Look look at? Look at.

One of the things I was discussing with some of the producers even before we started was the Black Friday situation at a Target or Walmart right now, the Black Friday.

They're both chaos. I've been to both.

I've been I've been to both. I even went to a best Buy Black Friday.

But I will say that a lot of people forget the levels of Black Friday chaos. Okay, because best Buy is up here, because we already come through with all the electronics.

Right.

Target is actually much lower because people forget that they have the same electronics as Walmart. So to your point before of like, uh, Target just has what Walmart has, but it's more expensive than everything. I don't go to Target for my electronics at all, you know.

I don't go to I don't go to Target or Walmart for elect tronics.

I've about TVs from Walmart.

That's not true about from Walmart. But I knew that I could get a cheaper out of Walmart. That I could because the thing about Target is like Target's like okay. In California, Target is sometimes an anchor store and a shopping mall. Mm hmm, because of the demise of a

I'm in a Walmart, you see, Like.

I can still now that this is disagree.

I'm buying power tools, I'm buying dog food.

People blame Walmart for like, oh, but what about the mom and pop stores in an area? Does Target not do the same thing if the Target comes in your neighborhood, if you were a clothing store, if you were a small electronics store, if you did whatever the fuck that they sell in a Target, is it Target doing the same thing.

It's a big box store. It's like if you're a butcher or some shit. And then a grocer and a full grocery store moves in your neighborhood. Now, isn't that the same? Shit?

It's not quite the same, though, because Walmart goes much much further in that Walmart. And this is even a credit to your point, all right, this is something that I will concede up top.

Okay, a Walmart for all of.

Its sections in the overall store, especially as supercenter, right, it has a mom and pop of each thing in there, whereas Target does not. So Target is not going to come through with a full butcher and certain meats that are on sale that week or whatever. Target also doesn't have the bakery section. It just has the things already laid out baked, you know, right. So my thing is

Here's all our line. Yeah.

Because it's like because I remember they started putting grocery stores in a Target mm hmm. And I'm like, okay, so you're gonna close even the giant grocery store. Because the thing is, it's like Target feels like it's not trying hard enough with their grocery section because there's not it's like there's not enough food in it. And then Walmart says, like, we're gonna like Target's like a section of the store.

Walmart's half the fucking store.

Target's a selective lady.

She's not out here loose with all the groceries, with all of the electronics, with all She's not trying to be everybody everywhere doing everything all right.

She has her particulars.

No, she sells everything under she sells everything on a private label. M M. But you know that a lot of that private label stuff is made by larger companies.

Yeah, I'm not denying that at all.

I don't think that there's a Target in the back of Target that's making all the Target stuff, you know what I mean? These aren't like Keebler elves doing Target things, right.

I understand Target is very good at selling Target things.

M hm.

Walmart is very good at selling everybody's things.

Everybody's thinks Walmart say, we got it.

But the thing is like with Target. So it's like, because you know there's a great value brand of Walmart, we're fully aware it's like the private select of your Kroger, Slash routes.

We know that people have generic store brands of things.

I can say that the I would rather have a Kroger chocolate sandwich cookie than an Oreo any day of the fucking week.

Yeah.

Yeah, there are things exactly like that that that all of these stores do very well.

This is you touched on something. Trail mixes.

Target is good. Target that that whole aisle, that.

Large section of mixed nuts of various backgrounds and denominations.

Uh huh, I need a bigger cart. I need a bigger buggy. Wait do you call them carts or buggies?

I think I called it a buggy when I was little and I was in Louisiana, I call it a cart.

Now, maybe you got out of the South before earlier than I did, because I didn't leave so I was like thirty three thirty four.

Now I call them buggies, And I have to, like, if I'm around certain people, I have to make sure I change my terminology because people if you just call a cart a buggy, people are acting.

Like I didn't deny the Holocaust.

I just fucking said it was a But the way that people react to certain things being called something because like other than on Instagram are realized. My mother calls sunglasses shades, and I've always called them sunglasses, and she's always called them shades, but I always what the fuck she was talking about. And sometimes they go, oh, I can't find my shades, and people goes, You're.

Like, huh. I do like the fact that Walmart's like, here's the stuff. Have the stuff. Target, on the.

Other hand, is trying to I don't believe Target as in you have You're curating things, You're creating a vibe. Now, mind you. Is a Walmart employee helpful? Absolutely the fuck not not. Usually it's the old person at the door, right, And then if you're a country Walmart, they're slightly helpful. If you find an older employee, yes, they know where things are. Someone could be stocking something in the grocery section and you can ask them where something is, and

Up or two. You never know. That's why you can't.

Like, if you're going to get something like I need a TV out of a Walmart, call ahead, order it ahead, do something.

Help yours, help you, help you, because.

Sometimes the Walmart employee either is they're not gonna do anything or the most helpful fucking person you've ever met.

There's rarely an in between.

They're walking through the store with you hand in fucking hand, right, well, we gonna get some of this, so we gonna do this, and what you gonna need? Bay da da da da, Cause I can tell you that's the one who was on the road heavy doing the colleges and shit. When Super Walmart started closing. Mm hm, I was like, what happened to you? They're telling me I can't walk in this Walmart in three in the morning and get some popcorn, some ice cream and dog food.

That's what you're telling me.

You're telling me I can't walk into the Walmart at two forty five and a good Christian warning okay and get three steaks, a USB cable and a wrench.

Is that what we're saying? Now?

This is my issue with Walmart because you've touched on already. Walmart has everything.

The way that you put it. Now you know it's it's for everybody.

And why isn't target?

Is the question? So is the internet? The Internet is for everybody?

And you've already talked about the fact that it shouldn't be either.

Yeah, look look what it is. Look at what it is.

So you're saying the target, so target discriminates. Please go on.

It's not just not about discrimination.

It's about not having every single thing so that you're not mixing so many different demographics of people. There are people that come to Walmart with specific emergencies at play that don't show up to Target because they know Target doesn't have it.

Target doesn't have a pharmacy.

No, no, no, it's not just a pharmacy thing. I think some targets do have a pharmacy.

I think they do causevs. Yeah.

Yeah, But when you have someone that needs a particular store that goes to a Walmart instead, and you do that enough times to where you create a Venn diagram of people who all, Now I'm doing a project on my house and you grab some power tools, Oh, I have a wedding. I need to pick up some plastic cups. Oh I have all this stuff, right, and then you put it all in one place. You get the Walmart, you get.

The Target has power tools, Target some but not only does.

Target have a party. Target not only.

Has a has a party section, they have their own private label party supplies. M Right, So Target picks and chooses what like the trail mix aisle beautiful, you've never seen mac kademia is used in such a way. Now, is this a thirty five dollars bag of nuts?

Yes? Are you gonna buy it? Yes? Because you tried not to.

But you're like, but this is my thing.

This is this is this You're you're touching on exactly what I'm talking about.

They have a whole trail mix aisle.

They actually don't end up having as much of a sliced peaches aisle as Walmart. So Walmart will have a whole isle of like the sliced fruits in the cups for the kids that you pack in the lunches.

Right, Targets got like two choices.

Hold on the way that you said the stroops are the slice for the kids and the packs of the lunches. It's just me is that for people who do cosby jokes? No, you got for the kids in this place. But I can't do cosbre I.

Mean, hopefully none of us can do Cosby. True, it's a it's an impression that breaks no joy.

I saw comic doing Obama impression the other day and he's not even thirty years old, and I was like, what do we m Hm, he's very he's a very funny comic, but so him doing Obama and then another comic was like, ooh, topical material and we both but we had.

I think we got to walk out of fat Black because.

I was like, he wasn't old enough to vote for Obama? You're it was probably in elementary school. I was a grown ass woman dancing in the street to my president is black. When Obama got elected, I was out of college. This nigga wasn't probably out of diapers, and I can't even I was.

Like, how long did you wait to do this?

Maybe he was pull ups, perhaps I don't know, but he was wet the bed age. Well fucking Obama was president and he's doing a suppression of he's at least overalls. At least you're still in ash, yeah, which is what I always accuse of wearing.

By the way, I think this is my this is my my other issue is that you're not taking full responsibility.

That resility for I don't know.

On the Walmart side, you're not taking responsibility for the culture.

You're not taking responsibility.

For because Target does have an auto center.

Okay, auto okay.

I can't be responsible for the chaos of a place.

No, I can't.

I if you pick it up in the place that I placed my place with no chaos, I have almost no chaos.

You know, there's chaos. I've seen chaos in a Target. It was at a lower volume, but it was a little It was chaos.

I would much rather take chaos at a lower volume than the chaos of a low volume.

If we got chaos up full volume, I might die.

I'm not.

I'm not a survivor like that.

I hear you.

If I am in a Walmart at things go left, you say you, you will be speaking.

About me in the past tense. Okay. If things go.

Sideways in a Target, I just know to step to the right and it will not be my problem anymore.

There is because of the price points. M hmm between a Target.

Thank you and a Walmart.

Yes, you're dealing with demographic different demographics of people. Because Target forgot where they came from. Okay, Target used to be very affordable, and I looked and I was in Target one day and I was like, what the fuck? I remember being a Target and there was another what. Me and this other woman were standing there in like the Home de cor Isle, and I picked up this like accent pillow and it was fifty fucking dollars.

Yeah, And I.

Was like, is this pillow fifty dollars? And I heard this woman go what turned she said yeah, what And I said this pillows fifty dollars and she was like why and I said why?

And so me and another grown adult were like I was like this, it's the fucking we're I was like, well, I'm not in Macy, I'm not.

I'm not in Nordstrums.

If any store that's not fucking norde Strums gives me a fifty dollars pillow, it should be burned down, Like how.

Dare you let me?

I'm fucking first of all, a fifty dollars pillow in general, as a concept, as a movement, as a label, nonsense. There's not gold in this pillow. This pillow is not gonna hold me at night. This pillow is not gonna I'm not gonna pour water on it, and all of a sudden, it's the man in my fucking dreams. It's all made in China. Why the fuck is this fifty dollars?

My issue is that, Okay, let me this is this is where I feel like we have to dress.

You're dealing with trauma.

Okay, in the same way that you didn't fuck with sweet Potato pies because you had bad actions with sweet potato pies.

Uh huh.

You don't fuck with Walmart because you've been working your whole life to not be a Walmart person. I, on the other hand, have always embraced the Walmart lifestyle. Will continue to embrace the Walmart life because when I tried to become a Target person, I realize it requires too much drinking of wine and the overpaying for regular ass things. You're still a fucking department store.

Let me, let me explain, all right, let me life.

Lively life.

But you know what targets out here, they're not helping, they're not doing the Lord's work.

They're trying to.

Make you think they're better than what you are.

You put a Starbucks in this bitch, and you think you better Kmart was out here selling hot dogs and shit, ain't nobody got no love for Kmart no more?

And what a Camart do to anybody? How did they go out of business as a concept? I really always tried to think.

You about that.

My thing is you're missing the taxes and fees associated with.

Peace of mind? All right?

Talking about so, yes, Target, you're going to Target, all right, but you know what you didn't see when you went to Target.

You didn't see a propos on Aisle eight.

You didn't see someone trying on clothes that do not fit them?

All right?

Yeah, Sea, No, no, no, Every clothing store, every store that sells clothing, has people trying on clothes that do not fit them.

And I'm talking about egregiously not fit. I don't mean checking to see if it fits. I'm talking about In college, we would go to Walmart, right, and one of my friends would just see if he could fit into a small when he knew he was in exl just to walk out of the dressing room and we all get a good laugh because he looks like a big baby, and it was funny, it was it was very funny.

I've seen people do that in an old Navy.

So I'm not.

Clearly there is an epidemic.

Get this country and people try all clothes they know don't fit them.

Because it's the it's the Chris Oh, Chris Farley, fat guy and a little you know what. People love seeing.

A grown man's belly button, especially if he's in a shirt that makes him if he's Winny poohing Donald Duck and this ship people love. And no one's asking out here asking you for Mickey Mouse. They're asking you for Donald Duck. That's what they want. Why the pool gave us the what ney? The pool was the reason I have the courage.

This is the thing.

And look look no, no, no, no no, because I can feel this happening. I can feel this happening. I finally have a good one. I finally have a good point, had a good subject. That all you've done is deflect, distract, divide. Okay, the history you can feel me. You could, you could feel me having some good points, and you were like, ooh, let me hit him with you a little quip real quick.

When in the history of you knowing me, have I been helpful?

Look, I'm just saying.

Now on this podcast, I'm a very nice person, and I hope people know that. And if you don't know that, that's your own fucking problem. I'm a nice lady, Okay.

Yeah.

You do this thing sometimes where you talk about how nice you are, but then you you add an extra layer that that kind of takes.

Away a layer.

It's kind of a negative to a positive where you're like, if you don't know that, you could go straight to hell. And it's like, well, that doesn't that I understand what you're saying as someone who knows you from the outside.

Looking in, that doesn't that that doesn't help.

Did you not see my my I story the other day? Was it was my name? It was today I had a therapy session, m M, I worked out and I thank the Lord for my daily scripture. You niggas are in trouble.

Yeah, I see, But you know what it is. It's like, it's like if a rapper.

What you do is a lot like if a rapper had a good rhyme going and then and then ended it like a real good flow right, like you're rocking with it, right, and then in the last line he's like, yeah, I love you so to your head to your foot.

It's like you had us you fully had us and then you know what I mean.

I could have been head to toe, but I said head to foot.

You could have been head to toe head to foot.

So I understand what you meant, but I'm saying the way it sounds.

Oh, I'm fully aware of how I sound. But then that's just funny to me. Like instead of saying I digress, I say I digest just to see who catches it.

Yeah, No, okay, I'm with you.

I just I just I feel like in this this has been the one that I've looked forward to the most because this is the one where I feel like.

The audience can hear me, they can feel me, and they lading me. It's elite, it's elitist.

Y'all think that y'all are doing that much better because you were willing to pay more money for the regular shit. You know what, I have not been fair to you. I want you to make your points because I'm not been helping.

It's not about the prices being more. I never like paying more, especially if it's for the same thing. I know that these big box companies get all their sourced goods from the.

Same like five places.

I'm saying target ends up being better because Walmart is too busy being chaotic. All right, It's not necessarily about the prices. It's not even always about the product, Okay, because I've had plenty of things that I've bought from Target fall apart immediately and then I had to returnament.

That also happens.

I'm just saying that, like the levels of which we're getting too much in a Walmart, Okay, Like the Walmart I went to when I was in college, we went to because we were bored.

That is not a good clientele.

You don't want a bunch of teenagers in your store just killing time, all right. It's gonna bring down the quality of the experience for other customers.

It's not bringing down the quality of experience, because you know what I hate is when I'm gonna Target and I see somebody calculating what's in their cart, knowing they can't fucking pay for it.

That disrupts my quality of my time, because it's like, you never want to see people have to negotiate with the things that they need. Now, this is the other thing about a Target. You're seeing people people negotiate for things that they truly don't need. You don't need that other bath mat. You have a bath mat, Just wash your bath mat. You don't need a new one. You need a thirty dollars fucking bath mat. The bath match

Who did go to Walmart when I was.

Bored and has photos from being in a Walmart when I was bored, what I found out is Walmart employees enjoy you putting on all the fishing gear and pretending to fish with your friends in the aisle. They'll take a picture of that. They'll let you hold on to the daisy BB gun and put on all the hunting gear while you're pretending to hunt the singing.

Deer that's mounted on this black in the hunting section. Cause this country asked Walmart. Walmart knows what Walmart is.

Walmart employees know if you come in it because like the number of times we thought that we were gonna be asked to leave a Walmart because I was pretending to chase my friend with a chainsaw, and they're like, hey, you want us.

To take a picture.

Yeah, of course, here's the camera. Thank you so much. Walmart knows what Walmart is.

Nobody's going up in a Target and have a good time when they're bored, because guess what Target closes was too early to get that boored clientele. Because I'm gonna tell you, we never walked out without buying something.

You don't fuck around in a Walmart. I mean, you can't fuck around a Walmart not buy anything. But Walmart our employees are always like, yeah, okay. Well, Target, on the other hand, is like, hey, can I help you? No, bitch, you can't help me. Okay, let me put on all this hunting gear.

You can't be getting upset about help.

It's the way. Listen.

You're a black person, you got people aggressively ask you if you need an assistance because they're trying to make sure you're not stealing. Then I'm in pajama pants. No, I'm not stealing because there's nothing at the bottom.

Of the hole in the stolen goods.

Oh but if if that happens to me, I just put them to work. And if somebody rolls up all me, and they're like, oh, hey, do you need some help, And they're looking me up a down, try to make sure I'm not stealing anything.

I'm like, oh, thank goodness you're here. I'll take up their entire shift. I'll give a damn.

Cancel all my shows. I'm in this Walmart.

They'll be with me all day.

I'll just I'll be like, what do you think the difference is between a yellow bell pepper and an orange bell pepper?

And they'll be like, I'm like, let's look it up. Let's look let's google it together.

Like that's yeah.

No. I hey, if you if you want to roll with me, you roll with me.

I've done that before.

I was in uh, i was down at santi Alli so like the La Fashion Diction or whatever, Nash Fashion District, and I'm in this store and it was like makeup and different stuff in there, like make up and like different accessories and earrings and shit. And there are two women in there with their children and they are obviously stealing. To anyone who's ever worked in a retail store, they are obviously fucking stealing, truly.

They got stuff on the kids. They're fun, they're starting a business. They are obviously fucking stealing. But the guy who ran, the guy.

Who ran the place, him and his wife anytime I would touch something, So he's following me through the store while I'm watching two women.

With their children obviously fucking steal. So I was like, you know what, I'm running interference. I'm gonna let these bitches rob this man blind. So what I started doing is I walked through the store and I would just take something off and then just drop it on the ground.

Mmm.

Or I would take something and take it off and then put it back in a different place.

Because he was he was anything.

I looked at something, he would adjust and I just went because I went, are you following me? But now he tried to act like he didn't speak English. Oh, nigga, you don't speak English. These bitches are stealing. We're about to be a problem in here. So I just started moving shit. I'm dropping stuff on the floor, and then I'm watching them continue to openly steal.

Dropping things in a bag, dropping things in a stroller, handing something to their child so that they can put in the stroll. There's a family of crime.

The last thing that I'll say on my end of Walmart versus Target is there's too much. There's almost too much. We can't even fit it into an hour and a half show if we were to do that. Of the drawbacks of Walmart, and I would say, I would refer to me, for.

Lack of a better word, clientele. All Right, there's been quite a fight and quite quite.

A theft, and quite quite an overall chaotic situation. I remember there are times that I'm literally going in Walmart to get in and get out. I just got my grapes, I got whatever fruits, whatever veggies I wanted, and I'm just watching something happen down because you also made the place too big, because now the Walmart as a whole, as a city, and cities are going to have their

So rolling back prices what you.

Mean, because what they do is a it's a tactic where they tell you they've rolled it back, but you never actually saw that initial price in the first place, right, So they'll be like, we've rolled back prices from eight ninety nine to six ninety nine. But then when you actually look at the thing and you pay attention, it was never eight ninety nine in the store. They just marked it up so they could mark it down, which is the price that they wanted to pay the entire time.

Oh yeah, I had a jelry business. I would do that.

Something were like fifteen dollars. It'd be like, oh, it's twenty, but for you it's fifteen. The price is not any ten.

Yeah, there we go.

Then last thing, I think the add ons are actually negatives. Okay, the some of the photo shoots, some of the extra for sandwich businesses that are inside of Walmart's actually decrease the value.

For me, you.

Saw Claire's in a Walmart and I was like, shout out the Claires. They're like, we're not going out of business, y'all.

These malls are dying.

These malls are dying, but these Walmarts riving.

Yeah.

Even though Walmart sells the little accessory nonsense that a Claire's has, it doesn't have the depth of the accessory nonsense that a Claire's has.

Also, you got your daughter whether anyway, yeah, little get her ears peers, she's nine.

I feel like Target has just enough.

Okay, they have just enough that I can get what I need and it's not crazy. I don't have to go through a bunch of aisles. I actually don't need as much help. Target has a system in place that I don't think Walmarts have, at least not all of them, where you can walk up to a little kiosk type thing on certain aisles, you type in what you need and they will tell you what aisle it's on, in what section. And that's something that Walmart has not had.

I know, Target just has the price scanners. I don't even know what you're talking about.

So Walmart also has the price scanners.

But if you if you go up to certain sections in a Target, this isn't a lot of the Targets in New York City and you just type in what you need. It's the same thing as the website, but it's for the store. I'll tell you when you type it in, it'll tell you like Aisle five, row two, whatever the thing is.

It's easier for New York Walmart to do I mean you Target to do that, because the New York Target only has five items in it.

I've tried to get shoes.

Out of a New York Target, and I was like and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, it's not shape.

I was literally in it. I tried to go get and I was like, I need some new shoes, and I was like, I was in a hurry, and I couldn't find a DSW that was close to where I was.

So I was like, you know what a tar ja a target. Let me walk on the beach and try to find something to keep my feet off the ground. And I got to the shoe section and there was literally only twenty pairs of fucking shoes. And I looked at the girl and said, wear the rest of the shoes, because all of the Targets in New York, in the city, like in Manhattan, are like abbreviated, reduced down.

Yeah, that's very true. Actually, that's that's.

Why even make the store. There's only twenty pairs of shoes in here, Where the fuck is the rest of the store?

So you so that's like, that's another I was like, I hate do you know what I do? If I want to go to a Target, I go twenty five minutes out the fucking flushing.

Because it's a whole store. It's got the big red balls in front to make sure you don't drive through that bitch and still their TVs. It has whole what'd you think the red balls was for it?

I never, I honestly never thought about what they were for. And this makes perfect sense. I'd rather than be for that.

That's exactly what they're for.

I's a lot of stores, like big box stores, because like Walmart, some of them will have those pillars in front of them too. It's so you don't drive in their fucking store. Also, not even to steal their shit. It's just so you don't drive in.

The storem hm.

Because it's happened enough now right.

Where they're like, hey, how do we stop this but make it esthetically pleasing Put giant balls in front of the store that will destroy most vehicles if they drive into them. So I understand that Walmart is the waffle House of stores.

I'm fully aware.

I appreciate that.

I'm fully aware of what she is, who she is, and what she's doing. Yeah, but if I'm trying to furnish an entire apartment had to furnish, I had to literally buy dishes, cups, you know, everything that you have to have as a person when you live indoors, right, have TV go to put something to put the TV on. You got to have hangers to put your clothes up. All these things.

I furnished my whole apartment I got not furnished. But like, I guess it's not furniture. What's the what's if it's not furniture, what's it go? When you're like putting stuff in an apartment, like the pots and the pans and the you know.

With that, I guess you. I mean, I think you're still furnishing because right, yeah.

I spent I had two buggies full. I might have spent four hundred dollars, three dollars to get everything I needed. I bought an air mattress because I had nothing in this apartment.

Yeah yeah, I spent three hundred front.

I know if I would have bought those same things out of Target, I would have spent twice as much.

Okay, so how about this.

We're gonna kick it to you the listener, and this is these are the last things that I'll say before I rested with all of you. My last and fine, you know, checkmate of a position. I understand that some people like Walmart for the entertainment value and everything and for the price point. But you need only go to people of Walmart to see what I'm talking about.

That's your only, that's not my only.

I'm just saying it's my last. I definitely can concede that there are targets that might as well not even be stores. There are targets where there are six things on sale and only two of them are here. But yes, I think that you're leaning one way or the other.

We're either leaning.

Towards these drawbacks of the supercenter, which yes, it has everything, but like at what cost?

How long you're going to be in there?

No one is helpful or not no one, but usually no one, or the tiny store that hopefully has an entire section of the thing that you'd think they'd have, Like I remember one time I went to one of the tiny ones and they didn't have I don't think they had any mouthwashing all. And I was like, okay, well, then don't make this like a pharmacy type section.

Then, right, you have the toothbrushes, you have the floss. Don't do this now, right, get in.

The tooth basic and you don't have mouthwashed Like who lives this?

Like That's why I went to like two different Manhattan targets and I was like, and I hate to ever say this, but a plague upon both your houses is really how I felt when I walked out of the fucking store.

So I know, oh, I have to go to a Target in Queens mm hmm. I have to go to where the people are, meaning the suburbs. I have to go to Target, and the target in the suburbs, just like I found like the h Marts that are in Manhattan, like h Mart, it was just it was just sold the ready made food and that was it. And I was like, no, I'm here for the full h Mart experience. Don't do this to me.

But I realized that New York does not have the superge because the super che Mart.

Yeah, the superge Mat is amazing.

It's it's a Kroger.

It's and I'm just like, yeah, calm through, Calm through Superhemart. Okay, they got the samples. It's me and Ijima. I'm out here tasting shit. Ema we out here eating things. Okay, once they see my cart, I'll be walking hand in hands through the store. Right, She's helping me get the good kimchi, like oh, you're making kimchi pancakes. Well, that means you got to get the older kimchi because you need more deffermentation. We having conversations with hanging out.

Her son is in school. I hope he's doing well. You know what I mean, Super h Mart.

I appreciate all of you listening. We appreciate you being listeners. We appreciate your opinions.

I felt that I felt that. Don't do that. I felt it. You don't think I felt that.

Huh, you don't think I felt it, But you just did what you did.

We want you to tell us what you think. Are you team Walmart? Team Target? Do you go for the super center or.

The little quick self checkout experience that I guess targets are doing. It is really wild. It's like it's like it might as well. Some of these targets might as well be a CVS. But I still think that they offer my life more stability than the Walmarts did.

Okay, I just I can't listen.

It's very rare as a child that I would see a closed Walmart.

Yeah, but things need to close.

No no, no, no no, I mean close doesn't like shut down.

Oh oh I'm sorry. I thought you meant for the night.

Yeah, they should. I mean, I think it all.

I think, honestly, any twenty four hour place is just asking for trouble.

I mean, we've all heard that nothing good happens after midnight. Yeah, unless you're in a Target in Gainesville, Georgia. I feel like this is my tomato soup. You know what I mean? Because a lot of people are going to be like, but do will say you're a learned person. Why are you associating yourself asserting yourself in the Walmart?

And I will tell you one of my favorite things to do on the road is to go to Walmart.

So we want you to check out between your friends and you, how you feel about this. Open up this conversation to the people in your life. Maybe open it up in a Walmart or Target, you know.

And what I don't want you to do is don't be uppity about it. Okay, don't judge people and be like, hey, listen, what is your preference? Okay? Don't Walmart shame people?

Yeah?

Yeah, And I want people out there to value themselves. I want you to value yourself and I want you to take care of yourself. I want you to ask what would be an easier day for you, you know, because maybe you are an a closer proximity to a Walmart.

Who knows.

But if you are looking to check us out on the socials, you can find me at Josh Johnson Comedy on Instagram, TikTok.

And YouTube.

I also have a podcast called The Josh Johnson Show where I tell stories and.

Chat with friends. And then if you're looking for duel, say ah.

In these trees sometimes, Uh, yeah, I've got my stuff on my socials.

I've got some shows coming up. Listen. Uh. We're just here to be as helpful as we possibly can. And call your mama. And if you can't call your daddy, is it you know what? Phone a friends, see how your friend's doing, check on your strong friend.

Mm hmm, that's what I have a good weekend.

Wow Suckers.

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