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What's up ere the edition listener? It's dull, say Sloan cours mind up. In the Daily Show, You're about to hear an episode of one of our original daily show podcasts, Hold Up, hosted by me and Daily Show writer Josh Johnson. It's where we take our office banter into a weekly war of words about topics big and small. In this episode, we debate still versus sparkling water. We go back and forth on which version of H two O will truly quench your thirst and why I prefer bubbly water or,
as Josh calls it, burping bougie. Tune in for this fun debate, and if you like the show, check out the hold Up podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
And were you drinking, by the way, still a sparkling.
I was drinking still I can't say because a smart water?
Yeah? Yeah, see, even you, even you and your private moments, you go still, You're like, calm all those bubbles down. Hey, everybody, welcome to Hold Up. It's a big show about little things that really aren't anything. I am one of your co hosts. My name is Josh Shahnson. I'm a writer for the Daily Show, and I am joined.
By those Day's line. I am a correspondent on a daily show. I'm also a stand up comedian like Josh, I also am a crafter. I like long locks on the beach, And like I said before, beating the Mall with your Daddy som somebody's daddy. That's who's been talking to me recently, is father's.
Yeah, if you've been binge listening, in the Mall with your Daddy is a real theme, probably one of the strongest themes of this show. We've held on to In the Mall with Your Daddy longer than anything, longer than I've been doing a Manisphere content, longer than I've been grinding. In the Mall with Your Daddy has been consistently league in every episode for quite a while. And Yeah, it's a true movement.
You know, you know, you never know where you're gonna be called upon.
Yeah, because malls are dying and dads don't get enough love, and so to mix the both of them together to really say screw Amazon moms and let's go full mall dads. Wow, incredible. I applaud the work you do.
We're on a start the episode, because I mean it's actually it's already started. It's already turning up.
It's already turning up. And you know what we need because I don't know about you. I think you might. You might be at home right now. But from where I am recording, it is hot, all right. It is hot, like a place that I hope to never see. It is hot. It is, it is. It is sweltering. You're warming that podcastah, and the lights don't help, all right, it is. I am, Yes, I'm burned up, but it brings me to today's time.
Y'all send my brother some war? Can you send them a cool beverage today?
And I want you the listener to think about who ended up on which side? All right? Because today before we tell you, we're gonna let you know right now it's still versus sparkling water.
Listen. What I challenge us today is we can both see both sides of it, cring right, both sides of his coin. But I think the listeners are gonna think, oh, well, Josh is going still and don't say it's going sparkling right m.
You don't want them to play the music, You know what.
Playing music all right. Listen, Joshua will tell.
The people used to Oh you were right. I am still okay.
We knew, we knew, we knew. Well. I want to say that the reason that I chose sparkling, and I think the reason that sparkling is getting the shine that it's getting is because everyone's trying to drink less sodas. I was never a big soda person, okay, because they were always too sweet for me, which I know people looking at me aren't gonna believe. But guess what. Most of the time obesity is genetic, Yeah, bitch, So I can say that a lot of times it was too
sweet for me, but I really do enjoy. Also, we have to remember when it comes to the sparkling water one. I think it's an interesting term.
Yes, yes it is.
Why don't we just say.
Bubble water because bubble water sounds like you're drinking plastic. Oh, the name bubble water just doesn't roll off the tongue like sparkling. Like if if you went to a nice restaurant they walk up to you, hands behind their backs, you know, the way that they lean over the table, like can we interest you in some still or bubble water? You'd be like the second one doesn't sound real, so I'm gonna take the still.
Okay. I was do wondering where they picked sparkling because it does seem like a very high end thing.
Well, I think that my my uh thing with sparkling, why why I don't really drink it and why I picked still over it is that the best waters that I've ever had have all been still. I think that when it's still you pay attention to the taste more because you know, sparkling is it is a taste in a sense you know, well yeah.
Because you have like but the thing is like there's the difference between like you've got a Seltzer and then you've got like club soda and so meltzer. That's that's a lot of Uh Seltzer is truly just drinking bubbles. Yes, there's no water in here.
You've seen the person that was like, uh, sparkling water is just spicy water.
Yes, somebody that come out like it's like McDonald's sprite is spicy. And then somebody said hotel air conditioning is the ac version of McDonald's sprite. I was like, yes, yeah, yeah, I accurate.
Little little dirty gets the job done.
Right, but the bubbles, like the bubbles and club soda. Club soda is giving you accompaniment. Club soda is giving you, you know, an accentuating and adjective to your beverage.
Right, gotcha? Okay.
In the words of Black Forager, the beverage alexis, we love her? Who knew that I could eat Magnolia's. I very much enjoy water. I always we all need to drink more water, but sometimes you just want to have a little adventure, so sometimes you would infuse your water. I love and infuse water, spa water. Oh did you think you see the thing? I think it was like over the summer where it was like I guess this white woman had never heard of like Agua Fresca before.
Oh yeah yeah, and they.
Were calling it spaw water.
Yes, yes, I did it.
All of like getting like Latino TikTok or latinx TikTok or Latini TikTok uh was taking like white people things mm hmm and like they and so it's like, uh it was like oh, a hot dog was like, oh look at this, like like look at this fun taco, this fun taco. Yeah, fun tacos, or like a burger was like a torta or they would take all this like white people's shit. It'd be like, yeah, we're just gonna the same way your lat you tried to like steal, Oh you took water and put fruit and like it's
like somebody's like, no, bitch. Like the girl did the whole recipe for like, I think it was like fresagafresca and she was like, oh, it's like strawberry spar water and I was like, no, no, it's not. Yeah, it's just so not. It's so not. And so sometimes you just want a little divergence, you want a little fun thing. You're gonna throw some fruit and some water. So I get it. But also, have you heard this that sparkling water doesn't hydrate you.
Yeah. I was just about to get to that. That's that's why I picked the still. I don't understand that this is my thing. It Okay, first of all, you know, we're just gonna get to that moment a little bit earlier than usual. Okay, we're just gonna go ahead and hit it up early. All right, all right for my men Jesus, all right, for my men out here fighting on the grind. Okay, you need to be hydrated. Okay, you don't need this sparkling, bubbly water. You don't need
to be burping bougie, all right. You need to be hydrated with the elixir of life, with the body of the earth into your body so you can sweat, so you can have water that comes out of you that you're drinking. Right, it's a version of that because you can sweat out the toxins. Okay, you can't do that off sparkling water. You can't do that. If you try to work out and have sparkling water, I bet you pass out. I bet you pass out. Yeah, thank you,
thank you. Dul said, do you really want to be out here trying to grind, trying to get the man shoulders with bubbles coming out of your body? All right, you can grind with bubbles. Bubbles too soft? Okay, did you imagine being in a jimmy?
You see.
When you out here bench pressing and you're and you're putting in so much work that you're sweating that you're that you're just shooting water out of your pores. You don't want bubbles in your pores. It'll kill you, believe me. Believe me. If you get bubbles in your pores. You're gonna die, all right.
Carbonated water is because carbon dioxide, right. I wonder what would happen if you put another gas in the water, Like, can't you put another thing in it? Like put like a bunch of Can you put a bunch of oxygen in the water? Can you oxygenate water? You can oxygenate water, can't you?
You're asking the wrong person.
You also have a theater degree.
Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm just here because I think still is the best nutritional you know, Yeah, yeah, yeah, you get your minerals in all right, Okay, they add minerals to the water, Okay.
Oxygenated water is a relatively new functional water product that has oxygen added to in the canting process or boling process. The added oxygens claim to provide health benefits, including aiding exercise recovery, flushing out toxes toxins, and improving alcohol matame Baliza, Josh, are we about to get in the oxygenated water game?
I think if we get into oxygenated water and I'm already drinking green tea and I'm already eating dark chocolate, I think I might be the healthiest man that's ever lived. All right, I think I might actually be so healthy I start floating. That's what I want. Some people want to get big and strong and look all more's chestnutty. I'm just trying to flow. I'm so healthy.
They're not making that man. No more, we're not We're not printing this nigga out no more. I don't know what. I don't know what happened. I think you had to be born in the seventies.
He drinks still water, all right, I'll tell you that right now. That dude drinks a bunch of water.
He has to his skin is.
It's it's honestly like wild.
This is the thing. He's one of those dudes where you're just like, I know, he's like I know plenty of married men. Women try them all the time. People try like women men whoever, there are married men who get tried by people all the time. And I've heard married men tell me plenty of married men have said when they had their rings on, there was women in their face or people in their face all the time.
He is one of those dudes where like, when you find out he's married, you're just like respect and then you just back away. Slowly, like I'm gonna be as respectful to this man, because some men you're like, I'm married here, and I'm sure one of them like give a fuck what I mean to me, which is always a crazy response from a human being. But there's also certain people where you're just like and God, bless your wife, like you just want like I don't want, I don't want to call.
His skin is so clear, it does look like he could melt. Yeah, he's like chocolate chocolate.
Remember those axe bidispray commercials, And people got mad because I guess it was like chocolate scented and they were like women like this woman on this bus like bit into this man, like this chocolate man.
No, I did not see this.
It was an ax Bidis pray commercial. This woman bit into this chocolate man, and people wanted to be upset about it. And I was like, I don't understand why people are mad about this. This seems like a wonderful idea. It got mad. Also, people also got mad at there was like a Skittles commercial where there's like I guess things that didn't make sense, and it was a Korean irishman if. People got mad at that too, because It was this Korean man but he had a red beard
and a heavy Irish accent. It was funny and.
Ship, Now did are there any Korean irishman?
I mean Asian?
There's gotta be some, right, there's Chinese Jamaicans. Yeah, but still when you when you, when it happens, we can't act. This is my thing. This is what I don't like when people do. Sometimes something will happen and people aren't even allowed to be surprised. Yeah, like I was, the innocence of surprise can't also be Yeah, you see, there was there was.
A Jamaican restaurant in Miami that that was run by Chinese Jamaicans and there was literally two lines in the restaurant, people that had been there before and people that hadn't been there before because the people that hadn't been there before needed a minute to process what was happening.
Mm hmm.
So there's and there were these two like it's it sounds like a movie. There was these two old Jamaican men, like black Jamaican men that would sit there like playing chess or some shit, and then they would watch people come in the restaurant. And like one time we came there was they were. I told this story for years. I was a little girl. The mother and the son were arguing in the back m and you hear two
Jamaican people arguing. And then this guy, he's never been there before, he was like talking to me, was like, yeah, I heard it's a great spot. D D D. And he's standing there at the register and the lady comes out and she's like, you know, it's like, you know, how can I help you? And he goes and she's like, yes, I said Chinese a Jamaica. Do whatt you on? And he's like ah, and she's like okay, stand over there. And then there was just like a line of people
who were just processing Chinese Jamaicans. And then there was a lot of people getting food. Like it was like, oh, you don't get stand over at your wist and time and so of course they were out of everything ever, like every good Jamaican restaurant is. But then there was a line of people and so but the guys were like, oh, watch this, like they would tap. They were like, you
know how black people see something that tap? You're like, so he comes up talking, yeah, you know, I heard it was a good spot, and they're just sitting there like m He's like, he's like, oh, you've never been here before, and they're like no, He's like he just went okay, and then they were like very excited to see this man see Chinese Jamaicas for the first time. Yeah, but it's like, think about it as a kid, the first time he saw a black person with a British accent.
You're like, what the hell is Yeah, what do you? What are you doing? What do you?
What do you?
You're real good at that, that's a real good And then and then obviously you realize history.
Yeah, and then you're like, oh it you know Wynn Wood and just elbow Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool cool.
But also it's like, but people are everywhere, so yeah, because when I was in Scotland, we went to a Korean restaurant in Scotland and I've been to I've been to a Korean restaurant on a straight I always I guess I was going somewhere and look for Korean restaurants because it's more viable for their because like my two favorite foods are Mexican food and Crean food, and sometimes more plausible for there be a Korean restaurant somewhere than
there is a Mexican restaurant somewhere, because I remember we were shooting at TV show in London and they had like a Mexican restaurant that that was like catering, and I was like, this is gonna be bad, but I'm gonna order it because I want to see how bad it's gonna be.
Can you okay?
Bloody terrible? Yeah. I was like, this place needs to be I remember going, Josh, this way needs to be shut down.
The thing, okay that I you reminded me of when you were saying like any good Jamaican place, you know they were out of everything, is that when I am in a place that's very specific, like we're talking like not just a general country's cuisine or you know, like culture's cuisine, We're talking like like super super specific. When that like just a ramen spot and they're not out of anything, and it's a little late in the day, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get poisoned.
Ah. It's like all y'all are doing is ramen. How does everything on the menu available?
Yeah? Like it's like if you went in a Jamaican place and they were like, oh no, we're fully stocked, and it's like seven pm. You're like, oh, no, what went wrong here?
I feel like sometimes it's like I honestly have to go. Oh, maybe you're paying attention to your inventory.
Maybe you roll that's when you roll the dice, you're like, look, maybe someone in the back is very good at inventory, or somebody in the back is very bad at cooking, but we're about to find out.
It is interesting when you go to a Jamaican spot and you're like, oh, y'all have mm hmm everything, Like the place we went to in London. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think the two because he went like what two maybe.
Three times something like that. At least two.
They were always out of the paddies. Yes, there are than the beef or the chicken. The veggie they always had. I'm like, bro, I don't want a vegetable medley wrapping dough.
I'm good, Yeah, but yeah, why yeah? Why undercut all my vegetables right now with a deep fried brandy dough? Yeah? I mean that's that's the other thing I think still wins out because still is everywhere. Sparkling isn't everywhere.
But maybe because sparkling is so new to us as a concept as a label, you know, uh, because like as a kid, you didn't really drink. Like there's so many water brands now, Like it makes me go, like when I see all these water brands, I was like, what if the water that we need they're just sitting in these bottles, you know what I mean?
Like the world?
Yeah, like the way we like it's like You're like, oh, there's a water shortage, and I'm like, yeah, cause like fucking pond.
Oh yeah, we bottled it all.
Yeah, we bottled it all, and then we wouldn't and then we opened a bottle, took a couple of SIPs, and now we can't figure out because I literally I was at a bar yesterday. I think I think I thought I drank my water. I think I drank someone else's water.
What what happened?
So I'm not No, I had a water in my jacket and I threw my jacket over in the booth and I left, and I was like, oh, my jacket with the bottle was like the top of it was like pushed in, like it fell down. And I was like, oh, somebody picked up my water and put on the table mm hmm. And then and so I grabbed it was drinking it because I didn't think because it was like it was a bottle of smart water that I'd gotten from work, and I knew it was my water because
it was water in my jacket. And then I was talking to this guy at the bar and he was drinking a bottle of smart water, and I'm like, I've never seen a bar with bottles of smart water. And I was like, oh shit, I drink that water because I knew it was my water because bars on the bottles of smart water. And then it's like, wait a fucking minute, this might not be And by that point it was too late, you know what. But when I put on my jacket last night, there was not any
water it maybe there was my water. Where'd my water go?
You know, sometimes there's a mystery that just cannot be solved.
Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, Yeah, where's my water?
Yeah? Where's my water? Sounds like one of them. And were you drinking by the way still or sparkling?
I was drinking still, I can't say, because a smart water.
Yeah. Yeah. See, even you, even you and your private moments, you go still, you like calm all those bubbles down. Let's get that still in listen.
Sometimes, like if you've ever had I love doing like a fruit infused water. Yeah, and so I'll take a little fruit and fuse water and then i'll uh maybe sometimes I'll do it with sparkling. Sometimes I do it with steal. Sometimes what I'll do is I'll put a little like po like or this electrolite, which I really like.
You like that one?
Yeah, I like this one. This is a coconut flavor. No, not the technically there's water in here now, but m mm hmm. Coconut flavor is nice. It only takes a little bit like sunscreen, but it makes you feel like summertime. So and you could do any time. I like a tropical uh fruit because it holds up more in the water. Yeah, but like a cucumber, water is very good cucumb's I can say that for the fun factor. Just like when you're sitting up drinking like fucking eight glasses of water,
I think all this water is supposed to be drinking. Yeah, sometimes you're like, I need to switch things up a bit. If you have like a whiskey and soda, right, it gives you a little something as opposed to just putting straight water in some whiskey because when my friends used to do whiskey and water, and I'm like, I don't you sound.
So I just used to do less whiskey.
No, you take whiskey like you're little, you know, don't whatever how much whiskey. And then they would just have them put in like as much club soda as someone would put in. Yeah, they would put in some water.
So wait, okay, wait they would, but they are watering down their whiskey.
But anytime you put in a mixer, you're watering down alcohol. Was there the club sodas just water with bubbles in it. This is just water with no bubbles in it.
But the water is just straight water. So the water is like diluting the whiskey. Isn't the club soda adding bubbles and some water? Yes, Because if the water in club soda doesn't have the same like makeup as the still water, it seems it's like breaking my brain because I'm like, when you add club soda, it feels like you're adding something. When you add water, it just feels like you're taking something away.
I understand what you're saying, because you'd also get it with no ice.
Either can't tell you when I work. Way back when I worked at Julia's, this is what we came in and she wanted like basically a cup of ice water. She wants water, and she was like, don't put any ice in it, though, And I always used to do that because I know that the ice can take up so much space in the cup that you're getting less of your drink. Yeah, but she was like, I don't
want to get water down because it'll taste different. And I was like, it'll taste the ice will taste it'll and she was like, yeah, it'll taste different if I let it. If the ice water is my drink down, it'll taste different. And I was like, I thought she for a second. I was like, oh, so you don't want water, and she was like, no, I do want water. I just don't want it to get I know.
Some people don't like restaurant ice. Okay, I know some people they won't like if you're on vacation, won't drink ice because the water isn't always filtered.
Yeah, yeah, that does make sense.
I know when I was in the UK, they don't serve alcoholic beverages. Like when I was in Scotland Edinborough fringe and they were saying that they only have ice for the Americans because they'll make because they'll make a drink.
And they don't do ice.
They don't do ice. So like the alcohol's room temperature m hm, and say they get like a whiskey and soda both items are like room temperature.
That makes sense because then people will come here and be like, oh this is this drink is so nice, or like this thing is so refreshing.
Well, nothing's refreshing at room temperature.
Yeah. Yeah, But they were.
Saying that the reason they don't do ice is because it waters down to drink there, like Americans are obsessed.
With getting our ice in.
Yeah, well I think we love a cold that rich m hm. Also, I don't mind ice watering down a drink that doesn't bother me because my goal is not to get fucking trashed. My goal is to enjoy an alcoholic beverage.
Yeah.
And at the end of the day, it's like I don't one hundred listen, No one enjoys the taste of alcohol.
Okay, people enjoy the.
Feeling that they get from alcohol, or you've had better tasting alcohol. But if we enjoyed the taste of alcohol, we wouldn't have cocktails and we wouldn't have mixed drinks. Sure, if alcohol tasted good, m we'd have no screwdrivers, no gin and juice, no other other that we wouldn't be doing another shit.
Yeah, because it it is smelly.
It is. It's smelly, it's flammable. It could do a lot of damage to your body if you drinking on a regular basis. M. But I can say that's sparkling water. Now, It's like that makes sense because like the fact that just water adding watered alcoholic broke your brain because I felt like it was taking something away that's so interesting club like it's adding something.
Yeah, it just felt like it was adding the bubbles, it was adding the you know what I mean? Because I also think for your health and for feeling refreshed, still is the way to go. I think that it is like sparkling is a more we're adding event or we're having dinner. Yeah, we're having fun. But if it's hot out and somebody basically offers you a flavorless sprite, you're gonna start swinging. Even if they offered you like a lacroix, you'd be like, I am burning up if I don't need that.
I learned that on a summer's day it was hot. I was outside someone Handluya Lacroix, and I was like, what a fucking waste of time? It tasted good. We all love Pompa Moose, But did I get the refreshing that I needed in that moment? I did not? Okay, I mean darkly has I do love that?
You know?
Because there's different levels of you know, bujas in your water. M hmm, some of them seem bigger than others. Coca Cola seems to have the biggest fucking bubbles in life. Pepsi seems to be bigger. I don't even like pepsi. But I did have a Coca Cola for the first time many years, about like two months ago. M hm, that motherfucker. It's not a bad I get it. I'm not gonna probably drink it again for five more years. But how you can drink Coca cola regular basis?
I also don't like. I've known people like my grandmother drank it a lot, and I was just like, I don't get how this is. I feel like, now you just have a sugar craving. Now it's more like, oh you like the repetition. It's it's more routine now. It can't be for this flavor because she gave me someone time and I was like, hoof taste like burn.
It is heavy. It is heavy.
Yeah.
Fact, when you got experiment as a kid, you put the tooth in coco cola and agains rubbery. Has always bugged me. You're drinking a coke. Your teeth feel weird. But a cold Coca Cola does do something. Because cold Coca cola, a nice ice, cold Coca cola on a hot day, we'll do more than a Lacroix. I can't ask you this. Have you for to wrap up soda stream?
I've tried it and it is not for me. But I respect a good soda stream. I respect a soda stream in the home, you know. I respect someone's twenty four to seven access need for a bubbly water.
Did you know? And this is where my listeners out there. I was at someone's house for a h New Year's Day brunch. Were there? The New Years are a part of the night before everyone went home. We came back for brunch. They were doing mimosas ran out of shit campaign. But people had brought like a couple bottles of white wine and I said, Yo, just put this cheap ass wine in the soda stream and it worked. That's wild's But that's all champagne is just carbonated wine. Yeah, yeah,
it's not fermented, because fermented is different. It's carbonated wine. So you put the white wine, and I want and I want to hear. I want to see all the comments. I want to see all the messages for people that took some cheap ass box wine tossed it to the fuck of soda stream and bam, it's Mimosa's all day, baby, what it's happened to be alive? So let's kick it over to the listeners because I know that this is a constant conversation that we're all having right now, sparkling
versus bubbles. We all know that sparkling. I guess it had to gets rich people origins. So this white's called sparkling because you know, middle class and lower we would have called it bubble water and kept it moving, you know.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I just want to hear from y'all out there. Do you prefer when when the server comes up to you. Do you prefer still is sparkling? Do you like the feeling of the bubbles? Do you like to watch them pop up to the top of the glass. Are you a bit bougie?
Hold on, I have gone out to the restaurants recently and it's been still sparkling or tap.
Mmm, okay, it's coming out of a bottle, yottle, it's.
Coming out of a bottle. And so somebody said to me, and there's this U comic on Instagram. I think his name is mister Red that I watch on TikTok because the Cuban guy and he does like the two parts between him and his girlfriend, it is absolutely amazing. But they do like a schedule. They're on a date and the guy comes up, you know, still a sparkling water,
you know, attack he's like, ye'all take government water. And for like a week where I would go out like we want are the government Water's fine?
And it makes you stop, makes you you know, is it bottle? Is it bottle or is it sink?
Is it bottle or is it sink?
Mm hmm.
And them is the question as lass that we have to ask in these streets because you never know whose municipalities you out here sipping on friends?
You let us know, let us know in the comments we read them, we love them, and let us know who you think did the better job of debating their side. All right, are you? Are you with me? Are you gonna keep it still? Are you gonna be out here and the only thing still about you is your water because you're always grinding, you always running, you always putting in a work. Or are you gonna sparkle? You're gonna try to be a little star? Huh, be a.
Star, be a star? Look at look at your girl. Check it out. Bam bam bam. I've lift up my foot. But you know that's you gotta earn that, you know what I mean. So I'm saying this. We're always glad that y'all are listening to you know, me and Josh just have these conversations about the things that you think are interesting. Please keep posting your comments, Please keep telling us what things you want us to debate, because I'm telling you I finally found the long Instagram message.
Yes yes, and that lad.
Young lady put in a lot of work. So thank you, friend. When we do yours, we will definitely I will definitely make sure that we shout you out and let us know if you want us to come to your city, to your city, to your city.
Yes, we're always touring, so if you check the links in the description, you can find both of us and our dates and everything.
Yeah, and listen, me and Josh would love to come to your city, to your neighborhood and talk about things in a public poor. Also, I'm trying to check out these malls because guess who's in there.
Yo, Daddy, you'll have a great rest of the week into the weekend. We appreciate you. Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show week nights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central and stream pull episodes anytime on Faaramount Plus.
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